"When the Wild Majestic Mountains Stood Alone Against the Sun"

By Sniffles

We cats think that all of Canada just said a collective "up yours" to Rush Limbaugh — by giving Michael J. Fox a huge ovation at the Olympics closing ceremony in Vancouver.

Other than that, as part-time Canadians we cats have to say we were embarrassed by the cheesy awfulness of the closing event. Moose and beaver the size of Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloons? Please. (Or, should we say, s'il vous plait?)

Since all they had to do was either trot out Gordon Lightfoot to sing the Canadian Railway Trilogy or run this Molson commercial, we cats choose the latter (since it's visual — but we do adore the Trilogy).

And P.S.: Congratulations to Team Canada on the hockey gold medal. Team USA made you fight for it, didn't they? Our allegiances were truly torn, since this was the first winter Olympics in a long time when the American team didn't compete under the reign of The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived. Refreshing!

The True North, Boastfully

By Baxter

The International Olympic Committee has behaved so despicably in its 115 years that we cats find the thought of the Committee passing judgment on someone else's comportment laughable, to say the least. But when we heard a possible explanation for the gold-medal-winning Canadian women's hockey team going wild with champagne and cigars, it intrigued us.

Politics.

The U.S. athletes in Vancouver come from Barack Obama's America. In this new, non-Bush era, we behave ourselves. We work hard. Compete fairly. And accept our victories and defeats as the world's greatest nation ought to — with relative humility and quiet confidence.

The Canadians, by contrast, in their Olympic-inspired hue and cry, fully reflect the Stephen-Harper/George-W.-Bush attitude of "We are designated by God to rule the world and will do anything we want, to anyone we want, and if anybody doesn't like it, they can just sign up to be invaded. Bring it on."

Lest our good friends across the border think we don't like them any more, guess again. We love you guys, even if we're not thrilled with your Bush-clone prime minister. And of course we realize that the tables, heaven forbid, could turn once again.

Can we all imagine how kick-butt boorishly a U.S. team under President Sarah Palin would act? We shudder to think about that — for so many, many reasons.

Cat Fight! Marco Rubio vs. ... Teabaggers?

By Zamboni

So Marco Rubio, the teabaggers' dreamboat, has been knocked offstride by the revelation that he charged thousands of dollars of personal expenses to his Republican Party of Florida credit card.

We cats will refrain from speculating whether someone in the establishment-Republican Charlie Crist camp leaked Rubio's AmEx bills. Instead, we'll present two different interpretations of the Rubio scandal.

More Charitable Version — Rubio has shown a complete lack of personal responsibility and accountability. Not only that, why would someone as successful as Babyface Marco need a corporate credit card in the first place, to pay for things like food and car repairs? And even if he were dumb enough to mix his personal and business expenditures, why couldn't he separate the two and reimburse his party each month? Finally, why should a guy who can't manage a single American Express bill be allowed to represent the fourth-largest state in the nation?

Brutal Version — Rubio is simply a corrupt fool who believes he exists to benefit from the largesse of others, be they taxpayers or Republican donors. It's an attitude of entitlement, privilege, insider dealings, greed and institutionalized corruption that the so-called tea party movement is supposed to be revolting against. If no teabaggers immediately repudiate Rubio, it's proof that they are about nothing more than electing the most conservative wingnuts and the most virulent, unhinged Obama haters to any and all offices — regardless of a candidate's lack of moral, ethical and intellectual capacity to carry out his duties.

We cats vote for the brutal version. Teabaggers, we're waiting!

Scott Brown: The Bloom Is Off the Rose

By Sniffles

Ah, our good friends over at Free Republic have made life easy for us again. We cats have been awfully busy lately, but we finally grabbed a moment to see how the Freepers were reacting to Senator Scott Brown's vote on the jobs bill the other day.

You know, Scott Brown — the naked guy who took Ted Kennedy's seat? We cats wondered back in January whether the right-wing idiots realized that Brown was actually pro-choice (not to mention that he posed nude for a magazine). If they hadn't realized it then, they've definitely realized it now.

Here are some of their choicest comments. Read 'em and laugh. (Meanwhile, we can't understand why anyone would be against a bill that will create jobs — but, never mind.)

"No surprise here...I knew he was a RINO."

"RINOS are as much scum as democRATS."

"This is about the best we can hope for from New England Republicans."

"No doubt encouraged by his mentor, McCain."

"The mere fact that he was in favor of killing unborn children branded him to me as a socialist liberal... [H]e’s a George-(I’m a crybaby)-Voinovich Republican, which means squat. He’s going to be worthless with the conservative agenda."

"I hope the conservative love affair with this empty suit is over."

Maryland, Our Maryland

By Baxter

When we were very little cats — actually, when we were just twinkles in our great-great-cats' three-lidded feline eyes — our owners lived in Maryland.

In fact, one of the greatest cats of all time came from Maryland. She did not live to write on My Cats Are Democrats, but as a blogger, Winocki — named for John Garfield's character in the classic World War II film "Air Force" — would have been hard to beat.

And were she alive today, Winocki would be very proud of her native state. With her neighbor, the District of Columbia, set to issue same-sex marriage licenses soon, Maryland now will recognize those marriages and others performed elsewhere (e.g., Iowa, Connecticut, Massachusetts).

It's simple logic. People live in the District and do business in Maryland, and vice versa. It would be too crazy not to do what Maryland's attorney general did today.

We cats fully expect the so-called "Christian" right to carp and complain about "back-door" acceptance of gay marriage (and we doubt whether, as with the "teabagger" moniker, they realize the irony of that expression). But they need to shut up. Marriage equality simply means equal rights for everybody. Period, end of story.

Therefore, we wait with eager anticipation to see what our future home, the Commonwealth of Virginia, does. In the meantime, we cats salute the state of Maryland, and we PURR.

Scrooge, They're Not

By Zamboni

We cats are Scottish and do not admire spendthrifts. But we're completely delighted when it's Michael Steele wasting GOP money in an election year.

In fact, before the vote on the jobs bill — when the mainstream media universally agreed that things were so bad, the Democrats might as well walk around with paper bags on their heads — the Republican Party was dealing with quite a few money messes, and still is. Perhaps now that the balance of the universe has been restored (Scott Brown voted against the filibuster!), lazy journalists will begin to take note.

Specifically, we're talking about Florida. And it's about more than just money. The Grand Old Party's in a bit of a pickle down here, and before we cats quit the state entirely we're taking a lot of satisfaction out of it.

In the shadow of the Rasmussen poll that shows Charlie Crist badly trailing Marco Rubio in the Republican Senate primary, the state GOP is embroiled in a financial scandal. Their former chair, Jim Greer, was forced out, in part, because of it. And now their new chair will have to preside over a formal investigation.

Seems that Mr. Greer was following the Michael Steele Model of Financial Excess. What is it with these people, that they automatically assume they deserve the best at others' expense?

Well, as we cats said, if it's the GOP, we won't complain. Have at it, guys! We're happy if you make yourselves a year older and not an hour richer. We just don't want to hear any more whining about government spending and fiscal responsibility, okay?

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Post-CPAC Edition

By Sniffles

Ron Paul? Ron Paul won the CPAC straw poll this weekend? We cats are wildly amused. Any day that a group of semi-drooling conservative nuts favors a 74-year-old libertarian has-been for President is a good day for us Democrats.

Although once again, we're tempted to feel sorry for Mitt Romney. The poor man has won the last three CPAC straw polls and still gets no respect. We shudder to think how many millions Mr. Magic Underwear has spent in pursuit of a nomination that seems destined to never be his. True, he's an "establishment"-type candidate in a hierarchical party — and you could make a credible argument that it's the Mittster's "turn." But the wild-eyed Republican base despises him. Ah, well, not our problem!

Another thing that's not our problem: Tiger Woods doesn't owe us an apology. We couldn't care less about him, his marriage, his sex life, or his sport. Yes, we realize he's named after a cat, but if he held that press conference on Friday to say "I'm sorry" to us alone, he could have just stayed home.

We're not exactly crazy about Colin Powell, but in a cat fight between him and Dick Cheney, we're rooting for the guy without the five deferments.

Finally, as for the Eastern Washington teabagger who threatened violence against U.S. Senator Patty Murray, we cats can't decide if we're more offended by what she said, or how she said it. Dianne Capps, you ignorant piece of scum: Clothing is "hung." People are hanged.

UPDATE: Howard Kurtz has noted the teabagger's threat against Senator Murray by observing that the local news anchor — out of Idaho, by the way — referred to it as "strong words." Sigh. We cats are sadly unsurprised, since the late, unlamented Jesse Helms was long ago able to threaten President Clinton without consequence. But in our view, characterizing political rhetoric that advocates assassination as "strong words" is as negligent as airing incendiary lies about birth certificates, death panels and Muslim control of the White House. Dear so-called journalists: When you repeat this over-the-top language, and counter it with simple, rational denials, you give credence to the original charge.

Grammar, Not Golf

By Baxter

Just in case you think we cats have been falling down on the job (because we've been horribly busy lately — more on that later), we have a quick post on grammar tonight.

Specifically, that we are sick and tired of communicators who can't speak English making tons more money than we do.

Latest case in point: Tiger Woods' agent — who we think garners about 10 percent of everything the sex-addled golfer makes — who said the following in his announcement of tomorrow's non-press-conference press conference:

"While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between he [sic] and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him."

We cats suppose that this guy never met a preposition that needed an objective case pronoun. We HISS and SNARL.

Oh, and to all you Olympic reporters out there: Can we please stop using "medal" as a verb?

Thank you, and good night.

(IMAGE: There's no way to properly illustrate a grammar-related rant, but this picture of the newest leopard cubs at the National Zoo is cute as the dickens. So we went with that.)

August 2001: Just "Dicking" Around

By Zamboni

We cats are back from a lovely weekend in our favorite kitty resort. But over the Presidents' Day holiday, a headline caught our eye and made us HISS.

It was a quote from The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (If Indeed He Were a Person), otherwise known as "Dick" Cheney. We cats never thought this aptly named, horrendous individual could get any worse, but he has. It's amazing how Republicans are able to do that.

Going after President Obama for "not recognizing" that the country is at war, Cheney said, "It's the mindset that concerns me ... when you destroy 16 acres of Manhattan, kill 3,000 Americans, blow a big hole in the Pentagon. That's an act of war."

We cats have one thing to say about that. And here it is.

You know what, Mr. Dickhead? Maybe if you and that Gomer Pyle the Supreme Court put in the Oval Office had bothered to read that frickin' Presidential Daily Brief of August 6, 2001, you would have recognized that we were at war — and those 3,000 Americans wouldn't have died.

Just a thought.

Don't Worry, There's a Capitol Building in There Somewhere

We cats are heading to Washington for a few days. Actually, no. Our owners are. We, on the other hand, are happily relaxing at our tropical five-paw cat hotel. But we'll be back online to PURR and SNARL just as soon as we're able. Happy Presidents' Day, everybody!

A Guy Who Makes Mark Sanford Look Good

By Sniffles

What is it about the state of South Carolina? It seems to foist more idiocy on the world than any other state in the nation. (Don't fret, Alaska — just by producing Sarah "Hand Job" Palin, you're second.)

After a lull, the Palmetto State has once again lived up to its unofficial slogan, "Yes, We Have Thousands of Ways to Appall You." In these tough economic times, when even working people are having trouble making ends meet, South Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidate Andre Bauer has criticized the federal food stamp program with this charming anecdote: "[My grandmother] told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed.”

We don't know what makes Mr. Bauer an expert on breeding, since as a closeted homosexual he probably doesn't do much of it himself. But his breathtaking callousness and complete lack of empathy for his fellow human beings is not unusual in today's taken-over-by-the-wingnuts Republican Party. (Oh, and by the way, we cats highly recommend that folks not only feed stray animals, but also get them fixed.)

Oh, well. We suppose we should be grateful that Mr. Bauer has explained why there are so many fools in South Carolina. Obviously, they breed them.

(IMAGE: "Duck Amuck," Warner Bros., 1953. For a more accurate description of Andre Bauer, change the "D" to an "F.")

Note to GOP: When This Happened, Bush Was President

By Baxter

ABC News has obtained through the Freedom of Information Act never-before-seen photos of the World Trade Center collapse, taken from police helicopters on September 11, 2001.

This is one of them. When we cats viewed the entire gallery, the first thing that popped into our furry little heads was what an idiot Rudolph Giuliani is.

And all Republicans who try to rewrite history.

(PHOTO: New York City Police Aviation Unit)

Sometimes, The Price of the First Amendment Seems Awfully High

By Zamboni

Here is one of the most revolting public utterances we cats have heard in a long time: A has-been Republican Congressman spewing racism at the so-called "Tea Party Convention" this past weekend.

The fact that the teabaggers would not only tolerate this language but actively cheer it means that in our minds, they've just joined the dubious company of the Ku Klux Klan, the American Bund and the John Birch Society: all extremists, all terrorists, and all, to a person, losers. They're the kind of scum that America unfortunately seems to spawn from time to time — footnotes in our history books that, wincing, we hurriedly skip.

But wait, there's more. We were so busy SNARLING at Tancredo that we almost missed Sarah Palin's jaw-droppingly stupid interview with Chris Wallace on that right-wing cable network she allegedly works for. Here's how the famous quitter from Alaska described the Tea Party lynch mob: "It's a beautiful movement," she said.

"Beautiful movement," our pink puckered ass. Some days it's just crystal clear to us cats why we're Democrats. Tom Tancredo is Exhibit A. His racist bile is embraced by one of the two major political parties — and it's not ours.

Sarah Palin's Hand Job

This is incredible. Is this woman in junior high school? Or is this why she went to 15 colleges in five years?

We cats never want to hear the Freepers complain about President Obama's teleprompters again!

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Super Bowl Sunday Edition

By Sniffles

Some random thoughts as we prepare to ignore that big game that's being played a few miles north of us later today.

John McCain has truly embarrassed himself over several issues of late, like campaign finance reform and, especially, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." We cats understand why. He has some fierce right-wing primary opposition back in Arizona — so fierce that he has to bring in that moronic former running mate of his to campaign for him. We of course do not feel sorry for him. Even all of Cindy's beer money can't compensate us for the damage he's done to the country.

Speaking of the famous quitter from Alaska, she apparently gave some sort of speech to the racist teabaggers in Nashville last night. Let's hope she did — since they paid her a cool $100,000 to do it. We wonder why all the teabaggers who couldn't afford the $558.95 convention ticket don't resent her for that.

We cats don't understand why anyone would want to get married in the "Jenny Sanford Wedding Garden." Oops.

Note to Washington, D.C.: Dig out, folks. We're supposed to fly in there on Friday night. No lollygagging allowed!

Finally, as you probably know, we cats don't care about football. But if we did, we'd root for the New Orleans Saints today — just to stick a paw in George W. Bush's eye.

Are We Men, Or Are We Tea Partyers?

By Baxter

We cats are, as you know, curious. And although we've been swamped with work this week, several times we've caught sight of headlines proclaiming the opening of the first (so they say) "Tea Party Convention" in Nashville, Tennessee.

So we were just wondering: Since the tea partyers are all angry white men who want to sleep with Sarah Palin, why is their convention being held on Super Bowl weekend?

Ah, well, never mind. Such scheduling snafus merely serve to buttress our impression of these folks, so let's not mince words. Here's how we sum up the teabaggers: They're Joe-the-Plumber sorry-asses who think that the world owes them everything because they are white and male and allegedly straight Christians, born in the (God bless 'er) U.S. of A.

And anyone — say, President Obama (a nonwhite male) or Speaker Pelosi (a female) — who denies them their self-defined God-given rights must be crushed like the Italians did the Ethiopians in 1936.

They are a classic example of "takes one to know one." They freely call the President a racist — because they themselves are racists. They call Obama a fascist because.... they themselves are fascists. Then they turn around and call Obama a Communist because... well, because they believe in an overarching hand of state controlling everything they believe should be controlled — like a woman's right to choose, individual morality, lifestyles, censorship, textbooks, etc.

They are the direct descendants of the Know Nothings of the 1840s, who, along with the Whigs, gave us the modern Republican Party. We cats say: There is nothing American about proudly knowing nothing.

So why do people like this have a platform at all? Well, partly because the GOP enables them. (House Minority Leader John Boehner said Thursday that there is "no difference" in the beliefs of Republicans and tea party activists.) However, we cats also blame the media. Their he-said-she-said, play-it-down-the-middle-of-the-road coverage has helped give credence to this wingnuttery.

We believe that the media have a responsibility to report the truth and call liars liars. But they're too chicken, and have been for awhile now. That means that when a journalist — like Katie Couric — actually gently tries to expose the know-nothingness of, say, the Tea Party Convention's (well-paid) keynote speaker, the right-wing pushback has, and continues to be, one step short of violence.

We cats are concerned. We've been concerned for a long time. And we finally just had to say something. Have a nice weekend — unless, of course, you're in Nashville.

Pedals That Make Us PURR

By Zamboni

And now, a little bit of feel-good news.

BIXI is hitting the big time. Montreal's public bike rental system is such a success that it's spreading to Ottawa, London, Boston, Minneapolis and now — the newest addition to the BIXI list — Melbourne, Australia.

We cats are having a hard time seeing a down side to all this. In addition to creating jobs and increasing tourist appeal, BIXI encourages physical fitness, decreases traffic and keeps the air a whole lot cleaner. And of course it's a perfect example of what government — in this case, the City of Montreal — can accomplish when it's filled with people who believe in its power to improve all our lives.

That's a value that Republicans don't hold. Imagine all the things we could get done in America if they did.

Tortured English

By Sniffles

We cats know that there are many subjects we could post about today. But please indulge us because we haven't complained about this for awhile: Right-wingers who, ironically, can't speak English correctly.

Specifically, we're sick and tired of nutcases on the right using "Democrat" as an adjective (and, therefore, as a pejorative). Although we've seen some folks closer to the middle of road commit this outrage as well — unintentionally, we hope — it's mostly Limbaugh, Beck and their legions of low-IQ dittoheads who obviously do it on purpose.

Latest example: The people behind the "Tea Party Convention," which has attracted a lot of controversy because of its funding structure and the $100,000 speaking fee they're giving Sarah Palin. Organizers have blamed “the left-leaning Democrat [sic] controlled House Ethics Committee” for abrupt cancellations by far-out Republican Congresswomen Michele Bachmann and Marsha Blackburn.

Folks, cut it out. "Democrat" is a noun. We've said this before, but would you refer to, say, Israel as a "Jew nation"? Of course you wouldn't.

Or, maybe you would.

(PHOTO: The Houston Chronicle)