My Cats Are Democrats

Dear Willard, You Have a Problem

2012-01-29T17:34:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Gosh, we cats don't know how the Romneybots are going to mend fences with the teabaggers after Tuesday.

We just looked in on the rabid Republican base over at Free Republic and they are gun-totin' mad about the Republican establishment's anti-Gingrich campaign in Florida. Here are a few samples of their rage — some of which, we've noticed, have started to stray into anti-Mormon territory. In the meantime, GOP, good luck with all this. You'll need it.

"God help me, I detest Romney...I always disliked him and I always knew I could never vote for him. But after seeing his cutthroat, ruthless, rotten, wicked, underhanded campaign against Newt, all the while keeping that insincere, superior little smile on his face, the very sight of him sickens me. He is one of the most repellent individuals I have ever seen."

"He is a brainwashed Stepford Husband completely owned and operated by the cultists of the LDS church!"

"Mormons are a CULT plain and Simple, no differant [sic] than Scientology."

"Not surprising when you know that Joseph Smith burned down newspapers he didn’t like. They are one and the same, we don’t like you — we will destroy you."

"After this past coupla weeks [with] the RINO establishment becoming cheap-shot snipers against Gingrich...and Romney also playing dirty, I am so angry I could spit blood! God help us!"

"Some of us having been warning Free Republic for half a decade what it would be like when a Mormon Mechelzdiak Priest ran for office (the lies, the nastiness), but we were called bigots. Now, maybe people will understand what we were talking about. You can’t separate the religion and the history from the man."

Finally, this last one sounds kind of scary. Remember, we said gun-totin'. Has somebody called the cops?

"Our goal is the complete political destruction [of] Romney...and by extension the GOP, if necessary. We're not going to roll over this time. We have opted for war. Mitt Romney will not be President of the United States. We will take him out of the political mix in the primaries if possible. However, we are willing to ENSURE his defeat in the general election...If that becomes necessary, we will take out as many of his supporters as possible."

Even More Numbers

2012-01-27T19:39:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

The stats are in: GDP growth in the last quarter was 2.8 percent, the highest rate in a year. While economists had predicted it would be 3 percent, it's still a lot better than the negative numbers during the Great George W. Bush Recession. On top of that, consumer sentiment is up for the fifth straight month.

For those Republicans who claim President Obama has put the economy into recession or, even, a depression: The National Bureau of Economic Research defines a recession as two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth.

Therefore, we cats are unclear as to how a 2.8 percent positive growth qualifies as the worst-ever economic news possible. (Unless of course, Barack Obama is in the White House.)

You know what we cats think? That a cynic might believe that the people who drove the economy into the ditch a few years ago don't deserve to be in charge again. If so, call us cats cynical.

GOP: Gone With The Willard? (The Sequel)

2012-01-27T18:27:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

How sad that our Comcast programmers weren't up to any mischief last night. The 2012 Republican clown college met in debate (again!), and our on-screen guide didn't insist that we were watching "Fear Factor." (But of course we didn't watch it. That opening rendition of the Star Spangled Banner had us running for the concession stand.)

Anyway, since Newt Gingrich blew it, and Willard Mitt Romney is apparently on top again, we cats are sure that from now through next Tuesday, the world will collectively witness an epic battle — a fight to the death, in fact — between the GOP establishment and the teabaggers for the soul of the Republican Party in Florida. Assuming, of course, that it has a soul.

We're certain of this because we've beamed in on some right-wing corners of the Internet today, to see how they're reacting to the idea of Willard Ascendant. Our nutty friends at Free Republic, for example, are loaded for bear. And the famous quitter from Alaska has reared her head and weighed in on how the Romneybots and their allies are "crucifying" Newtie. This Palin Newt-love has not gone unnoticed in the world of teabaggery (although they'd prefer it if she out-and-out endorsed him).

Prediction: Hundreds of official teabag groups in Florida will be burning through e-mail and the phones this weekend to turn out the vote. Their message:"victory or death." Their under-the-table goal: Find a Gingrich voter who will officially challenge the RNC's winner-take-all rule after Willard prevails in Florida.

And, oh — Marco Rubio? You've reaped yourself a ton of teabagger grief. Just sayin'.

Before Florida: A Teabagger Snapshot

2012-01-26T19:24:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

Ooh, those teabaggers just love Newt Gingrich!

Never mind his three marriages, and his philandering outside of same, and his insidery Washington-ness! He is their friend and champion and savior — all because he can command a debate in which audience participation is allowed. He channels their rage. Yay for Newt!

In fact, our friends at Free Republic think that Mitt Romney, Karl Rove, Ann Coulter, Drudge, Tom DeLay, Bob Dole and the National Review gang will resort to no less than the final solution — murder! — to stop Newtie. "I honestly believe if Gingrich gets the nomination, the Washington insiders will consider assassination. They are that scared of him," one Freeper writes.

We cats say, this is so great. If the Newtmeisters are saying this now, what will they do at the Republican convention? Because like it or not, there will be some Gingrich delegates on the floor in Tampa.

We cats PURR.

Hilarious News-Story Juxtaposition Of The Day

2012-01-26T10:52:00.001-05:00

"[Hispanic voters] have often felt the sting of prejudice...They tire of the stereotypes built by the media and some politicians. Like all voters, Hispanics respond to candidates who show respect."

—Former Governor Jeb Bush,

"Four Ways Republicans Can Win Hispanics Back,"

The Washington Post, January 26, 2012

"I might have tacos when I go home; I'm not quite sure yet."

—Republican Joe Maturo, Mayor of East Haven, Connecticut,

on repairing relations with his city's Latino community

For Crist's Sake!

2012-01-25T19:47:00.000-05:00

"Charlie Crist is running to be the people's governor. He is sure to follow in Jeb Bush's footsteps, and will continue to provide the valued leadership Floridians have come to expect. His passion, conservative values, and lifetime of experience will serve him well once [he is] elected governor."

—Mitt Romney, September 2006

(IMAGE: New Times)

Tomorrow's Clown College Debate: What Wolf Blitzer Should Ask (But Probably Won't)

2012-01-25T18:33:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats often write posts like this. But we wouldn't have to if the guys who call themselves "journalists" would do their jobs. (Besides, it gives us another lovely opportunity to post a third "Fear Factor" picture, albeit a slightly blurry one.)

Tomorrow night is another, goodness gracious, Republican debate. While we're confident that the GOP will look back on these 2012 clownfests and kick themselves for doing them, they've certainly provided us Democrats with entertainment. (And some frustration, since there are always questions that the moderators should ask but don't.)

To wit, here are some queries the Wolfman should pose tomorrow. But don't hold your breath. You'll pass out.

"Gentlemen, many of your fellow Republicans from farm states are on record as supporting the lifting of the 50-year-old U.S. embargo against Cuba, so that American farmers can sell their goods there. But here in Florida, much of the Cuban electorate opposes lifting the embargo.

"Where do you stand? Do you agree with large numbers of farm state Republicans that the embargo should end — or do you believe, as the Republican leadership in Florida's Cuban community does, that it must continue?

"If you support continuing the embargo, why didn't you talk about that in Iowa, before the caucuses took place?

"If you support continuing the embargo, will you discuss your position when you campaign in Minnesota, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Nebraska and North Dakota?"

(NOTE TO WOLF: Don't trouble Ron Paul with this. He opposes the embargo. He'd like Texas cattlemen to be able to sell beef to Havana.)

Our Lame But Perfectly Understandable Excuse to Post Another Fabulous "Fear Factor" Screen Shot

2012-01-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats recall resolving recently to take Daily Beast blogger Andrew Sullivan with a larger grain of salt. After Monday evening's "Fear Factor" debate, we feel vindicated.

If we were going to be charitable about it, we'd say that apparently Andrew doesn't live in Washington, and isn't familiar with our cable channels here. Which meant he couldn't find last night's Willard-Newtie-Ricky-Ron smackdown on TV — mainly because of that little programming-guide snafu we pointed out. He didn't beam in until 9:15 — having missed a full quarter of the event!

Our question to Andrew, therefore, is a logistical one. Since you knew you were supposed to live-blog the debate, why didn't you figure out the correct channel number ahead of time?

Gee, Maybe There Really IS a Liberal Media

2012-01-23T22:12:00.001-05:00

Okay, everybody — it's 'fess-up time. We all knew this debate was happening, right? Who's the guilty programmer? We cats want to curl up in his lap and PURR.

No Early Bird Special for Romney

2012-01-23T19:30:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats have often felt sorry these last few months for whoever at Obama-Biden 2012 is charged with watching the endless Republican clown college debates. Yes, it must be done — but what a tedious, irritating chore it must have been.

Ha! No more. In fact, we might even look in on tonight's Tampa smackdown. If his lamely scripted, haltingly delivered and unconvincing "attacks" on Newt Gingrich today are any indication, Willard Mitt Romney will be the main smackdownee. We'll see.

In the meantime, contrary to what the pundits are saying — particularly that lamebrain, Alex Castellanos — we cats would like to dispute the notion that Willard's absentee-ballot effort gives him some sort of built-in advantage in Florida. Why? Because those folks were going to vote for Willard anyway. Early/absentee voting doesn't translate to cleaning up on the back end of the process.

Also, if you're undecided — and some nine percent of Florida Republicans are — you're not going to vote early, no matter how convenient it is. You're going to wait and see what happens. Somehow, we cats think that unless something seismic occurs, those undecided folks are not going to go for Romney.

We could get all mathematical about this, but numbers aren't our strongest suit. (We were really good in English.) But if this kind of stuff fascinates you, check out the math explained here and here.

Don't Know Much About (GOP) History

2012-01-22T19:50:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

So you thought that after whiffing on that question about his taxes, describing nearly $400,000 as "not very much," and declaring that he liked "to fire people," Willard Mitt Romney was gaffed out? Guess again.

We cats haven't seen a lot of coverage of this, but at his sad-sack "victory" party in South Carolina last night, the deposed Republican front-runner said this:

"Our party can't be led to victory by someone who has...never run a business and never led a state."

We bet that the Romneybot who came up with this line thought it was great — a neat, prissy little way for Willard to pat himself on the back and insult Newt Gingrich at the same time. But unfortunately, it's also an insult to Dwight D. Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole and John McCain — three Republican Presidents and two GOP nominees, both of whom have endorsed him.

Gingrich, the so-called "historian" in the race, should be all over Romney for this. In fact, maybe he will be — at tomorrow night's debate.

We can't wait for the next Florida poll to come out. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

Okay, We Totally Understand This, But We're Still Bummed

2012-01-22T17:23:00.000-05:00

"Gabby Giffords' tenacity and generous spirit have always made her the example of what is best in Arizona. As she said today, nothing can change what happened last January. But in her time in public life, she has changed Arizona and America for the better. As she continues to work on her recovery, I have no doubt she will also continue to work for and inspire all of us in so many ways in the years to come."

—Andrei Cherny, Chair, Arizona Democratic Party

Woe Is Willard (Palmetto State Paddling Edition)

2012-01-21T21:13:00.005-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats apologize if we're blogging a bit late in the game tonight, considering how quickly the South Carolina results came in. But it's easy to call a race early when it's won by 14 points.

We'll have more to say in the coming days, but meanwhile, here are a few off-the-top-of-our-furry-heads observations.

As we cats write this, Gingrich has 40 percent of the South Carolina vote. Gosh. Romney hasn't won anything yet by 40 percent.
What a repudiation of that irritating South Carolina Governor, Nikki Haley. We bet you $10,000 she's just been booted from Willard's VP short list.
We advise Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum to skip Florida completely and go straight to the Super Tuesday states. Florida will do nothing but suck away huge amounts of Mr. Sweater Vest's money and time — for no reward whatsoever. Take a page from Ron Paul's book, Ricky: Go where the delegates are.
Speaking of the Sunshine State, do we think that Willard had a bunch of Florida endorsements ready to be marched out onstage in Tampa or Orlando or Miami after he won South Carolina? Wonder what's going on with those now? Hm.
We'd give a whole case of Star-Kist to see the South Carolina victory speech that the Romney folks had ready last weekend.
But at least Willard has one consolation: Joe Paterno is having a worse day than he is.

A Quickie: Palmetto State Poop-Out?

2012-01-21T13:46:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

After a wild week in the 2012 Republican clown college, early turnout in today's South Carolina primary appears to be low.

Gosh, how can that be? We thought after all that hollerin' and stompin' at the debates, Palmetto State Republicans were loaded for bear. Why aren't they lining up for blocks at the polls? Are they going to let a few little tornadoes keep them away? C'mon!

On the other hand, maybe they don't want to bother — since their votes won't be fully counted, many will be lost, and the official results won't be known for more than two weeks. At least, per the Iowa model.

(PHOTO: Pablo Martinez Monsivais / AP)

Not In Defense of John King

2012-01-20T20:48:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

Can we cats just quickly say for the umpteenth time that if Republican candidates are going to presume to tell the rest of us how to live our lives, their personal conduct is an appropriate topic for discussion?

More Clowns in the College? (Part II)

2012-01-20T14:32:00.003-05:00

By Baxter

It's interesting to re-read Larry Sabato's argument from back in early December 2011 that the cast of characters in the 2012 Republican Presidential race is by no means set in stone. More clowns could be waiting in the wings, and could make their entrances soon.

We cats don't want to get into eye-glazing details, but here it is in a nutshell: This year's GOP delegate selection process is "back loaded," Sabato's senior columnist Rhodes Cook argues, with enough delegates allocated after Super Tuesday in caucuses and winner-take-all primary states to clinch the nomination.

"Should Mitt Romney stumble badly in the January events in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida," Cook writes, "another establishment Republican could enter the race in early February and still compete directly in states with at least 1,200 of the 2,282 or so GOP delegates. Many of them will be up for grabs after April 1 when statewide winner-take-all is possible."

Okay — so. Let's look at what's happened in the six weeks since that argument was posted.

Willard Mitt Romney "won" the Iowa caucuses — and then he lost them. He won the New Hampshire primary. And he's on the verge of possibly losing in South Carolina tomorrow. Indeed, by Sunday "Mr. Inevitability" could suddenly be one for three.

Now, with Florida probably not predicable at this point, the pundits would posit that surely Romney will go on to win in Nevada (February 4) and Michigan (February 28). But even if he does, what good is that? He will have proven only that he can win in a New England state he's lived in, a midwestern state he was born and raised in, and a western state in which the Republican electorate is dominated by the Mormon church. (Utah's primary, in case you're wondering, isn't until June 26.)

So, to the extent the 2012 general election will be fought on that battlefield and that battlefield only, Willard's a winner. Not much of a selling point, is it? We cats wonder if any Republicans are starting to wake up to this, and if so, whether any of them read Larry Sabato.

Mark our words, this isn't done yet. Lots of "dream-candidate" names will again be floated, from the Indiana Chinless Wonder to that cold-hearted accountant from Wisconsin. But we cats see only two real late-entry possibilities: Jeb Bush, or the famous quitter from Alaska.

As Willard himself would say, "Time will tell."

(IMAGE: Yes, we know this technically is a clown car, not a college. But we couldn't resist.)

Cold As A Falling Caucus Vote in January

2012-01-19T18:31:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

So now it's time for us cats to weigh in on the big Republican mess in Iowa. It appears that our pick for the winner of the January 3rd caucuses, Mr. "Don't Google His Name" Sweater Vest, actually did win! We are so proud.

Of course, we also have to note that votes from eight Iowa precincts have somehow gone missing. Ya know, the Iowa GOP should have enlisted help from those overachieving recall-Walker folks in Wisconsin, who have a far greater respect for the democratic process. The missing votes never would have vanished in the first place.

We can make a lot of jokes about this — except for the fact that, you know, it isn't funny. The Republican Party's contempt for democracy — whether it's a snafu like Iowa, a relentless national campaign to disenfranchise the poor, the young, and minorities, or a refusal to allow a recount more than 10 years ago in Florida — well, it's just wildly depressing. This is not what the Founders had in mind for America.

As just the latest example, here is our nomination for the most amazing statement ever given by a Republican Party official in American history:

“It’s done. We never got [the missing Iowa votes]. We tried to track ‘em down, and for whatever reason, we don’t have them.” (The only thing this jerk forgot to add: "Oh, well!")

The horror. We cats are dating ourselves, but this cavalier attitude reminds us of the Republican convention in 1972. Moderate Congressman Paul McCloskey had won a legitimately elected delegate. But the Nixon people wouldn't seat the delegate, and forced one of the Nixon delegates to cast a vote for McCloskey instead. In short, Republicans pooh-poohing the democratic process is not a recent thing.

What other conclusion can we come to? The Grand Old Party is a bunch of frauds and cheats who have no respect for the votes of taxpayers and other citizens who happen not to look like them. They pay a ton of lip service to loving America, but in reality, they hijacked the American way a long time ago.

And we cats had to say this, because Mr. Sweater Vest never will.

Lest We Furr-get: Another Clown Bites the Dust

2012-01-19T12:28:00.003-05:00

By Sniffles

WOW! What a wild day in the 2012 Republican clown college! It has to be the craziest yet. Hot on the heels of the "I-only-pay-15-percent-in-taxes-and-$370,000-isn't-much-money" Romney gaffes, the Iowa caucuses are declared a draw, Rick Perry drops out of the race and endorses Newt Gingrich, and Wife Number Two tells ABC News that Gingrich wanted an "open marriage" (ugh).

Although we cats could write volumes about any one of these — for example, that the Iowa mess is just the latest proof of the Republicans' contempt for the democratic electoral process — we will focus on Rick Perry for the moment. We have a few questions:

Will anyone — we mean you, political pundits and so-called journalists — go back and look at the coverage in August 2011, when Perry was virtually handed the nomination?
Will anyone recall how the media covered his announcement as a victory tour that ran roughshod over Michele Bachmann's Iowa straw poll bounce?
Will anyone revisit the popular notion that Perry was going to clean up in the early primaries because his guru David Carney was the New Hampshire expert?
Is any reporter going to call up Perry's fellow Governors — Bobby Jindal, Brian Sandoval and Sam Brownback — and ask them if they regret their early endorsements?
Can Sheriff Joe Arpaio go back to Arizona now?
Will anyone bother to dredge up all those old stories about how much money Perry was going to raise, and how he was such a better retail campaigner than the last "Texan" elected to the White House?

Knowing the current state of political journalism, we cats are not holding our breaths about any of this. (Although we're looking forward to the money reports: Perry's and "Herb" Cain's.) In the meantime, until these answers present themselves, we can heartily recommend Paul Begala's Daily Beast indictment of all things Perry.

Memo to Mitt

2012-01-18T21:04:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

See this? You may think it's Google's logo, blacked out in protest over the anti-piracy bills SOPA and PIPA. But actually it's us cats, censoring our reaction to Willard Mitt Romney's attacks on Newt Gingrich today. This is a pretty clean blog, and we'd like to keep it that way.

The reason we are spitting mad is that in criticizing Gingrich, who apparently is gaining on him in South Carolina, Willard repeated that tired old canard about President Gore claiming he invented the.... you know. We're sick of that, because President Gore never said it. And we HISS in Willard's general direction for cravenly perpetuating the myth.

And while we're at it, we'd advise Willard to stop emitting those McCainish "heh hehs" after he says something stupid — except for the fact that we want him to continue to be repulsive and lose. So we'll hold that advice after all.

Poor Willard. He's having a pretty bad week. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: We were kidding, of course. It's Google's.)

The Last Laugh

2012-01-17T22:03:00.000-05:00

We just couldn't wait to get that picture of Scott Walker off the top of the blog. So here's a little note to nonagenarian actress Betty White, from a friend.

More Numbers

2012-01-17T18:15:00.002-05:00

By Baxter

Goodness gracious, there's so much to talk about today, from Willard Mitt Romney's tax-return-and-speaking-fee mess to how stupid Rick Perry is.

But we're going to wave all that away for now, because congratulations appear to be in order for those hard-working folks in Wisconsin who today submitted 1 million signatures to recall vile Republican Governor Scott Walker.

This is pretty amazing, for a lot of fun numerical reasons.

First, recall organizers only had to gather 540,208 signatures. "Only"! You try getting 540,208 signatures when you have frightened Republicans and teabaggers screaming and swearing at you, scribbling on your petitions, and committing heaven knows what other felonies. But the recall folks not only managed it, they got 460,000 extras.

Recall organizers got nearly as many signatures as the number of people who voted for Walker in 2010.

Recall signers represent 30 percent of all Wisconsin registered voters.

Wisconsin recall organizers gathered 100 times more signatures than Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann failed to get in order to qualify for the Virginia Republican primary.

In sheer tonnage, organizers delivered almost as much petition material as Chris Christie weighs. (Okay, not really.)

So we send a big PURR in the direction of the Wisconsin Democratic Party, United Wisconsin, and all Badger State citizens outraged at the gutting of their rights. And we think that Scott Walker, who always looks like he just rolled out of bed, had better wake up.

Jonny Ends His Quest

2012-01-16T11:34:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

After an awkward rollout, a bunch of lame slogans and jokes, and only a few charming debate moments, Jon Huntsman is calling it quits, and the cute quotient of the Republican 2012 clown college has just decreased a thousand percent.

We can't quite imagine why Huntsman chose to drop out now rather than a week ago (or hence). We'd have thought that a man who apparently relies on the rhythm method of birth control might have a better sense of timing. We also can't decide why he thought his message of reason and relative moderation would appeal to today's GOP.

That aside, our only guess is that he'll wait for the Republican Party to self-destruct this year, after which he can ride to its rescue in 2016.

Let's hope his next campaign staff spells his name right.

(PHOTO: Grant Cornett for TIME)

If Katharine Graham Were Alive Today, She'd Be Spinning in Her Grave

2012-01-13T16:25:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

Take a good look at this guy who wasn't elected President. Not in 1944, and not, more memorably, in 1948.

Thomas E. Dewey, Governor of New York. REPUBLICAN. That hair.... that mustache.... what else could he be? But of course, you'd never know that from today's Washington Post.

In our hard-copy edition of the newspaper that plopped on our doorstep this morning, a photo of Dewey that accompanied this article labeled him thus: "Democrat lost to Harry Truman."

Yes, we cats know, people make mistakes. But for the major newspaper in the nation's capital — a newspaper with national pretensions — to make this particular mistake is almost beyond imagining. Clearly the Post now is staffed by children whose political knowledge stops with the second Bush Administration. Is there a more famous Democratic comeback than Harry Truman's in 1948? Is there a more famous political picture? Don't make us show you.

We have written to the Post and verbally boxed their ears. But, goodness gracious. They'll be saying Nixon was a Democrat next.

We cats HISS.

Calling James Inhofe

2012-01-13T15:16:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

So today is the 30th anniversary of the Air Florida Flight 90 crash, and amid all the coverage, there's something we've noticed but which nobody else seems to be pointing out.

Take a good look at that white stuff in the Potomac River. What the heck is that? Oh! It's called "ice." It forms from water when it's cold out.

Is there any ice on the Potomac in January three decades later? Somehow, we think not. In fact, it was 65 degrees in the Washington area just a few days ago.

We cats don't want any planes to fall from the sky from ice and snow. But this weirdly warm weather is freaking us out. And we wish to God that someone from our side would torture the "junk science" Republicans each time our thermometer sets a new winter record.

Professor Gingrich Teaches Politics 101

2012-01-12T11:18:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

Newt Gingrich may not be a member of the 99 percent — nobody with his Tiffany's bill could be — but he is entirely correct on his right to slam Willard Mitt Romney's Bain Capital days:

“This issue at hand is neither about Bain Capital, private-equity firms, nor about capitalism. It is about Mitt Romney’s judgment and character. It was Governor Romney’s decision to base his candidacy, in large part, on his background as a portfolio manager. Thus, it is entirely legitimate to ask questions about whether he is accurately presenting how he conducted himself during that career.”

(Another reason we know Gingrich is doing the right thing: Other Republicans are freaking out.)

Woe Is Willard (New Hampshire Victory Edition)

2012-01-11T16:58:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Well, the results from New Hampshire are in, and it looks like Willard Mitt Romney may have wobbled only a little bit. Thirty-nine percent is five points lower than his highest Granite State polls, but it was plenty big enough for a comfortable win.

Still and all, we cats are seeing some cracks in the veneer. No one in Pundit World will say it, but it is our considered opinion that Willard failed in New Hampshire. Here's why.

He's campaigned there for six years. He's been running for President for thousands more than that. The Granite State has always been his primary target. He moved there. He had one of his only two campaign organizations there. He spent tons of money and time there in 2008, after which he never stopped stumping. He doled out huge checks to every New Hampshire Republican, elected official and candidate, in 2010. Except for Ron Paul, none of his 2012 opponents had an ounce of organization or money. And he still only got 39 percent.

We cats never would have thought we'd say this, but Newt Gingrich was right. With all those resources, Romney should have cracked 50 percent in New Hampshire — easily.

In short, Willard is the same old Willard — winning by surviving, by being not quite as clowny as the other members of the 2012 Republican clown college. And while Gingrich, Santorum and Perry have effectively tested several general-election attack lines for Obama-Biden, Willard reinforced his own clown-college status by contributing to the arsenal with wooden, unfeeling, corporate-raider remarks.

So now it's on to South Carolina. We bet that the Romney people wish that the Palmetto State were voting this Saturday rather than next. Eleven days can be an eternity in politics. We expect one of Willard's rivals to jump on the release-your-tax-returns bandwagon soon.

Meanwhile, last night's Granite State results means that this may be our final opportunity to declare that Jon Huntsman is cute. With nearly 17 percent of the vote, he probably has lived to fight another day — but where? The primary map looks pretty bleak. Hey, can we get him back as Ambassador to China?

Finally, let's interrupt this Republican smackdown to congratulate Vice President Biden for his comments to supporters on Tuesday. It was not a statement that a silver-spoon Bain baby could utter with any credibility.

"We inherited a broken bargain," the Vice President said, "a deal that our parents didn't have to face. Middle-class folks, if you gave them an even chance, they got to share in the benefits they helped to produce for this country. That bargain was broken during the Bush years and we were determined to fix it."

We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Silly Slogans

2012-01-10T14:46:00.003-05:00

By Sniffles

Should we cats mention again that we think Jon Huntsman is cute? We're just wondering, because we hope our suspicion that Huntsman is surging in New Hampshire isn't wishful thinking.

Not that we want him to get the nomination, of course. He'd be too good a candidate! Nope, we're more than happy to have the GOP pick a phony whose only genuine moments occur when he admits he likes to fire people — instead of a thoughtful, Mandarin-speaking conservative who could attract Democrats and independent voters.

Of course, it would be ironic (and delicious) if Huntsman's fine Sunday-debate retort to Romney over "country first" ended up being the decisive New Hampshire moment for him. Not just because he called Romney on his partisan playacting — but because the last Republican nominee, a decorated ex-POW, used that slogan. And then proceeded to make a mockery of it. You know how.

"I Like Being Able to Fire People"

2012-01-09T19:45:00.001-05:00

We cats just Googled this phrase and got 2,540,000,000 hits. We figure that 2,539,999,999 of them were about Mitt Romney.

Has Willard Wobbled?

2012-01-09T15:46:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

We interrupt this Mitt Romney coronation to bring you... Bill Daley wanting to spend more time with his family.

You know, if we were Willard, we might be relieved that a Daley heading back to the City of the Big Shoulders is dominating the news for a bit. Because Mitt just stepped in it for the first time since he tried to bet Rick Perry $10,000 on the individual mandate: He's made a comment about liking to fire people.

To be fair, it appears that Romney was referring to insurance vendors. But nobody will remember that. Instead, the remark will play into Jon Stewart's brilliant assertion that Romney "looks like everyone who ever fired your dad."

Okay, so we're not in New Hampshire and it's snowing here in the Washington, D.C. area and people out in America probably have their minds on other things. But you can be sure that folks up in the Granite State are watching and listening. And cutie-pie Jon Huntsman, sigh, has jumped all over Willard for this stupid remark.

Hmmmm..... 1) a strong Sunday debate performance, 2) an opening provided by a privileged, thoughtless front-runner, 3) in a state that's famous for taking people down a peg? We cats are thinking our Republican crush-guy just might surprise tomorrow.

(PHOTO: We agree that Huntsman's campaign sign looks like a bad imitation of the Tommy Hilfiger logo. But, sigh again. Maybe Guy Pearce will play Jon in the movie?)

One Year Later

2012-01-08T20:28:00.000-05:00

GOP: Gone With The Willard?

2012-01-08T12:51:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

The anti-Romney members of the 2012 Republican clown college are clownier than ever this weekend. Yesterday they all decided they were running for Vice President. Today, they're back to running for President again. As Newt Gingrich himself would say, "pathetic."

However, we cats will indulge ourselves in a few pre-New Hampshire observations.

Willard Mitt Romney is down almost 10 points from the last Granite State poll we cats paid any attention to. We'd like to know how his folks are going to spin a lower number if and when he wins. Here's the funny thing about this primary: If Willard wins, folks will say it won't matter because he was expected to. If he loses, they'll say it matters a lot, for the same reason. Not a good place to be in, we think.

Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please let one of Rick Santorum's sons turn out to be gay.

We cats still have our crush on Jon Huntsman, sigh. He's not just a Republican who truly puts his "country first" — but by highlighting the baby Huntsmans who are enlisted in the Navy, he took a well-deserved swipe at Willard's 2007 assertion that his five sons serve America by campaigning for him. (Ugh. What a disagreeable memory that is. Think we'll ever see a movie called "The Fighting Romneys"?)

While we're on the topic of LDS guys, here's a question. We thought that Mormons did missions to needy places like Africa. How come Willard got to go to France? Ooh la la, that sounds difficult, not.

Finally, we thought we'd check on our teabagger friends at Free Republic again. We were wondering how they were handling all the reports that Willard was on his way to an early-February coronation. Here's how: They're taking what they call the Scarlett O'Hara pledge: "As God is my witness, I will not vote for Mitt Romney for President." We cats PURR.

Numbers

2012-01-06T16:01:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

You know, it seems like it was only yesterday — because it was — that the pundits and prognosticators were saying that the economy probably only added 150,000 jobs last month.

Surprise! Thanks for playing, folks, but it was more than 200,000 jobs, and the unemployment rate went down to 8.5 percent, the lowest it's been in three years.

The Republican reaction, of course, is running the gamut from insulting to a grudging admission that things might be getting better (although they're quick to say President Obama deserves no credit). But what else can you expect from the party of the 1 percent?

Meanwhile, another interesting story about numbers has caught our attention. It seems that the Romney vote total out of Iowa — you know, that eight-vote landslide — may be wrong. Rick Santorum may actually have edged Willard by 12.

Okay. We cats have to say that we wondered on Wednesday morning: How do you have 1,800 precincts, 122,000 paper ballots — many of which were hand-scribbled by individual voters — and come up with a definitive eight-vote margin without even one teensy-weensy mistake?

But, hey, we're talking about Republicans here. These are the same folks who in 2000 counted a bogus margin of 537 in Florida, had the Supreme Court put the kibosh on a recount — and who, despite being down by a half million in the popular vote nationally, claimed an insurmountable Bush-Cheney mandate to, um, start illegal wars and stuff.

Rick Santorum's wishy-washy reaction to this Iowa story is kind of shocking. We cats guess that either he's not that bright, or he's had no time to hire an election lawyer to think and act the way election lawyers do. (See reference to 2000, above.)

Woe Is Willard (Town Hall Edition)

2012-01-05T15:59:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

By now, anyone who has ever coordinated an event has heard about the disastrous John McCain-endorses-Mitt Romney "town hall" in New Hampshire yesterday.

From the smallness of the crowd to the unfriendly questions to the malfunctioning mics and the oh-so-telling body language, this clown college sideshow will go down in the annals of Presidential campaigns filed under "What Not To Do." (We cats might also add that we've never seen John McCain, physically, looking worse. And that includes his famous "zombie" photo from 2008!)

Gee, the Romneybots are supposed to be a crack logistical team, despite their inability to count noses in Iowa. So we're a little surprised at this, but always grateful for the opportunity to enjoy a spot of schadenfreude. It's a hell of a way to celebrate that eight-vote landslide — and we're wondering how much the news of this "town hall" debacle will trickle down to voters in the Granite State and in South Carolina. Nobody likes to be associated with screw-ups.

Which brings us back to the question of Willard's endorsements. Specifically, did he have others beside McCain lined up for the immediate aftermath of Iowa? You would have thought so — since they expected to win and wanted a one-two punch to end all this primary-caucus silliness.

For example, yesterday would have been a great time for a neutral Terry Branstad or Chuck Grassley to hop on the Romney bandwagon — for the good of the party, and, fittingly, after their Iowa neighbors had voted. But all we hear from them today is crickets. (Or can we say "birds chirping"? We cats prefer birds.)

If the Romney camp did have that post-Iowa endorsement strategy, perhaps some of the people they lined up got cold feet. (Or decided to praise Ron Paul.) What other conclusion can we come to, since they've touted an unending supply of boosters they could trot out to prove that Willard is a "real" conservative?

Bottom line: Willard is not a "real" anything. But if the rest of his campaign goes anything like yesterday, he'll be in real trouble.

(PHOTO: Rod Lamkey, Jr. / The Washington Times. Don't they look happy?)

Woe Is Willard

2012-01-04T15:09:00.002-05:00

By Zamboni

Wow, we cats would have posted on Iowa earlier today, but we were too busy looking up synonyms for the word "robotic." (We suppose the folks at Disney World are telling each other, "Well, if Romney gets to the White House, at least we won't have to build a new audioanimatron for the Hall of Presidents.")

Why? Because we've seen Willard Mitt Romney's cringe-inducing attempt to claim his eight-vote landslide as "a great victory." His aides tried to spin their candidate's late-night speech as ditching the teleprompters and "speaking from the heart," but we note with glee that Romney actually ended up giving "a rushed version of his stump speech that lacked the feel of a victory address." That's our boy!

Yep, the Romney campaign is smiling through some very clenched teeth today. He not only has Mr. UnGoogleable and the crazy Libertarian-who-still-thinks-the-government-should-tell-women-when-they-can-and-cannot-have-babies breathing down his neck, he got six fewer votes — 30,015 — last night than he did in the same caucuses in 2008.

This is pathetic. Given all the money, time and resources that Romney's invested in Iowa for six years — given the sorry state of his poorly funded, poorly staffed Republican opposition — given his allegedly heavy-hitting endorsements, and the fact that this past weekend he predicted out-and-out victory — well, throw all that together and you know that merely treading water on his 2008 support was a Meg Whitmanesque defeat of monstrous proportions.

No wonder the poor little Romneybots were caught by surprise last night. Take it from us — they'd prepared a speech for a comfortable win over Ron Paul, with Santorum in third.

Time to start the 2016 countdown clock on Rand Paul's next trip to Iowa. We cats PURR.

P.S. Does an eight-vote landslide mean that Chris Christie won't return to Iowa to lay on a New Jersey whuppin'? And will anyone in the press follow up on that rude and offensive threat?

P.P.S. Gee, eight votes. What do you think would have happened if that weenie Iowa Congressman Steve King had grown a pair and endorsed Mr. UnGoogleable after they went pheasant hunting together? The Santorum campaign must be in a tizzy over that one!

Rupie Hearts Ricky

2012-01-03T18:33:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

Gosh! Are we all excited? Rupert Murdoch has started to tweet! And he's saying nice things about our projected Iowa winner, the unGoogleable Rick Santorum!

That's almost as fun as Santorum's incredibly lame fashion statement, which the press, which must be bored out of its skull with the 2012 Republican clown college, has now started to write about.

But don't get too aflutter, folks. We cats think we know what's behind this sudden Aussie tweeting.

Rupert Murdoch woke up this weekend, saw the prospect of Willard Mitt Romney wrapping everything up with a strong Iowa finish — and panicked.

See, the Republican debates have been huge ratings hits, and the 2012 coverage has been the best thing to happen to FOX since Barack Obama's inauguration. So Rupie latched onto the most likely candidate to stretch out the primaries, and dropped some hints. (As with everything on the GOP side, it's all about cash. In this case, Rupie's cash.)

But don't be downcast, even if Murdoch's motives are a little suspect. There's still something to amuse us Democrats: If our theory is correct, then it means trouble for Romney in terms of how FOX will spin his Iowa results — whatever they are.

We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: One of Rick Santorum's now-famous sweater vests. Check out this very funny Santorum-in-Iowa feature.)

Sad Little Freepers

2012-01-02T19:32:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats promised you more Freeper madness, so on the eve of the big clownapalooza in Iowa, we thought we'd check on our crazy teabagger friends at you-know-where to see how they're feeling today.

The quick answer is, a little depressed. Not necessarily because they think their nemesis Willard Mitt Romney will win tomorrow, but because of What Might Have Been. Specifically, contemplating the first official contest of 2012 without their two faves, "Herb" Cain and the famous quitter from Alaska, makes them pretty down in the mouth.

Here's a typical comment: "Palin and Cain were run out of town on a rail, politically raped and lynched because the mainstream media...made it happen. We let it happen only because we are truly without power. The only real power is held by the liberal cabal. The mainstream media is [sic] owned and managed by leftist/gay/pagans."

"Without power"? Aw, c'mon, guys, buck up! You've only been running the House for the last year. Plus, there's that little matter of how both the famous quitter and "Herb" contributed to their respective ignominious downfalls.

We're sure that the Freeps will get over their funk once the unGoogleable Rick Santorum wins the caucus tomorrow. In the meantime, we're more worried about Free Republic posters like this fellow, who we sincerely hope is not your next-door neighbor:

"2010 — We bought 14.5 MILLION guns. 2011— We bought 16 MILLION. 2012—?? I think we all know how this mess will end. Lock and load, boys and girls — it’s going to get interesting."

If he is your next-door neighbor, we advise you to call the police.

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Pre-Iowa Edition

2012-01-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

Like the rest of the world — most notably, Hawkeye State Republicans — we cats have perhaps overdosed a bit on tomorrow's Iowa caucuses. But a few choice items in this morning's news have caught our eye:

Just one day after our post predicting a win by the unGoogleable Rick Santorum, we note that he packed a Sioux City coffee shop with 200 people. Pretty good for a guy whose early days were spent talking to groups of no more than four or five.

And, we might add, we note that the latest PPP poll is showing Iowa a three-way, 21-20-19 tie. Nate "Nerdstrodamus" Silver cautions that this could just be a "random variance" — but we cats think not. Obviously all those Christian fundamentalists in Hawkeyeland read us. Willard and Ron have crested and may be falling a bit; Ricky's on the rise.

After Michele Bachmann loses tomorrow, and Minnesota's redistricting process is completed, we hope the Democrats do a money-bomb fundraiser for whoever runs against her for Congress this year. Michele, it's been fun — but It's Time for You to Go.

Speaking of Bachmann, she needs to go back to English class. You cannot qualify the adjective "unique" with the adjective "very." You either are unique or you aren't. Michele is unique only in her nuttiness.

Wait, we take that back. How could Bachmann be unique when the current Republican Party boasts the likes of Ron Paul, Steve King, Joe Wilson, Allen West, Marco Rubio, "Herb" Cain, scores of other clowns that we don't have enough room to mention here, and the famous quitter from Alaska?

We Pick Rick

2012-01-01T10:43:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

When we cats thought about how to predict the Iowa clown caucus on Tuesday, we were torn: Should we say what we want to have happen, or what we think probably will happen? Happily, is looks as if those two choices may be converging.

Thanks to the latest results from The Des Moines Register poll, we're going to go out on a limb and say that Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum will win. Late numbers from this past Thursday and Friday show Rick "That's An African Proverb" Santorum rising to 21 percent — trailing only Willard Mitt Romney.

In other words, Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum is definitely surging. But here are two reasons we think he'll continue to do so:

Romney and Ron Paul have no room to grow. They've hit their respective ceilings (in fact, Romney's been running for President since the beginning of time and he's never been able to rise past a quarter of the vote.) Neither is going to poach much support from divided Christian evangelicals. If caucusgoers are going to desert Perry, Bachmann and Gingrich, they'll do it for Santorum — not for Romney or Paul.

Iowa likes to surprise.

Yes, we cats occasionally go out on the wrong limb and then have to be rescued by the nice men from the fire department. But we're thinking that maybe come Tuesday, we can climb down by ourselves.

P.S. Another prediction while we're at it: When Senator Rand Paul steps off that plane in Iowa tomorrow, consider the 2016 Republican race officially kicked off. (Unless, of course, you count that offensive speech Chris Christie gave for Romney the other day.)

Last Post of 2011

2011-12-31T20:50:00.000-05:00

We cats must adjourn now to ring in 2012. But the Iowa caucuses are on Tuesday, so we promise some trenchant clown college predictions before the holiday weekend is out.

In the meantime, stay safe, and Happy New Year!

The Books of Romney

2011-12-30T20:19:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

So one of Willard Mitt Romney's draft-dodging sons, faced with the question about whether his father should make his tax returns public, made the mistake of joking in turn that President Obama should release his birth certificate.

We cats have news for this little jerk: The President released his long-form birth certificate earlier this year — days, in fact, before he killed Osama bin Laden.

The President's citizenship thus established, we have one question for the Romney clan: Do you not want the Mormon Church to know how much Mitt is really worth? Because the last we checked, you were supposed to tithe 10 percent of your income to them.

Just wondering.

Jack, We Hardly Knew Ye

2011-12-30T17:15:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Many notable people died this year, but none touched us cats as much as the death of Jack Layton, head of Canada's social democratic party. He led the NDP to official opposition status right before cancer claimed him at the early age of 61 — an incredible achievement.

We're certain his electoral victory was due not just to the cane he carried but to the smile he constantly beamed. It's as if he knew the legacy he'd leave would benefit generations to come.

Progressive people of all the countries of the world can take inspiration from the life and legacy of Jack Layton.

More Clowns in the College?

2011-12-29T21:27:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

Well, you knew this had to happen. After viewing the anti-Romney vitriol today at Free Republic — they even mentioned his driving to Canada with the family dog on the roof of the car — we cats were certain that, five days out from the Iowa caucuses, the pundit class's near-universal anointing of Willard as the inevitable Republican nominee would cause some serious rumblings.

Or more specifically, an "earthquake." Now, back in August we cats experienced an earthquake here in Virginia, and we don't recommend it to anybody. But our concern for the good people of the Hawkeye State is tempered by the fact that we can't be sure where on the Richter scale this baby will land.

Ahhhh, the famous quitter from Alaska. It was nice not thinking or writing about her for awhile. But we suppose that having her and"Herb" Cain go away at the same time was just too much to ask. Ergo, this shadowy group has started an ad campaign to urge Republican caucusgoers to do, um, you-know-what.

Our first thought was, oh, goody — more chaos. Then we wondered if a Palin insurrection would just end up helping Romney. But it's probably safe to say that if the famous quitter's "earthquake" registers more than expected, it'll probably hurt Bachmann the most.

"Oh, what a circus, oh what a show"!

The First Freeper, Fretting

2011-12-29T10:58:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

Okay, we admit it: When we cats get lazy (or when we have a work deadline looming, like today), we beam into our nutty right-wing friends over at Free Republic for some quick n' easy amusement.

But this morning we actually were wondering: How are they handling Willard Mitt Romney's supposed surge in Iowa? (We say "supposed," because caucuses are notoriously hard to predict and as we all know, it ain't over until Virginia Foxx sings.)

The answers range from defiance to desperation. "Between this and the new Gallup Poll we are screwed," laments one. "I pray for our nation."

But the most virulent expressions of dismay come from Jim Robinson, the Romney-hating creator of the site. Of course, what else can you expect from a guy whose signature bears the following parenthetical phrase: "Rebellion is brewing!! Impeach the corrupt Marxist bastard!!"? This is a man who likes his exclamation points.

To that end, we'll entertain you with some of the choicer Robinson spews. Back later with more Freeper madness.

"A pro-abortion Reagan denier, Romney crossed the aisle to promote abortion, gay rights, gun-control, liberal judges and advocated for and actually installed a socialist healthcare system (RomneyCare) which became the model and impetus for ObamaCare... Oh, yeah, he saved the Olympics (but kicked the Boy Scouts out due to their clean and wholesome policies, i.e., no homosexual scout masters)."

"Massachusetts shares a border with a hostile communist state. Wait a minute. Massachusetts is a hostile communist state, thanks to Governor Romney and RomneyCare."

"NO ROMNEY, NO WAY!! NOT ON MY WATCH!! NOT ON FR!!"

"If Romney is the best the Republican party has to offer, then I’m no longer a Republican. Romney will not be promoted on FR! Not on my watch!!"

"It says right at the top of [my] page: 'Welcome to Free Republic, America’s exclusive site for God, Family, Country, Life & Liberty conservatives!' Romney doesn’t fit the bill."

Oops.

2011-12-28T21:14:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

All these new polls from Iowa and New Hampshire, and everybody is talking about Willard Mitt Romney (looking good), Newt Gingrich (looking bad), Ron Paul (ugh), and Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum (looking very good). Ha! We cats told you there'd be a place in the sun for Ricky S. someday.

But in spite of all this, we'd just like to take a moment to discuss the most hapless gun in the West, Rick Perry.

Yes, we know the timing might be a little weird, since the longtime Governor of Texas has kinda faded into the wallpaper of late. But he's also just caught our attention on a couple of things — and we don't want them to fall into the dustbin of campaign history without commenting.

The first is his new stance on abortion. The guy is so desperate to appeal to the Christian Taliban in Iowa that now he says all procedures should be prohibited, even in cases of rape, incest or danger to the woman's life. We cats are always unimpressed when men pontificate on the issue of choice. But we're doubly so when somebody with the equipment to rape tries to tell victims what they can and cannot do.

The second is the much less emotional but still critical issue of money. The pundits are weighing in on whether a poor showing in Iowa will doom Perry since he has "little cash left." Ya know, we pretty much remember how after they raised $17 million despite a late entry into the race, the Perry camp bragged about their prudent budgeting and how they'd be flush enough to compete in all the early states. Hm.

Another tall Texas tale, we guess. We cats HISS.

Holiday Wishes from Frosty-Ville

2011-12-27T16:53:00.000-05:00

We cats like this — not just because it's from the University of Minnesota, but because it reminds us that the influence of the Broadway musical is never too far away.

2012 Stuff To Do

2011-12-26T19:36:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Some people make a New Year's resolution to stop procrastinating. As superior beings, we cats will make those folks feel even more inadequate by trotting out our 2012 resolutions now. Why wait till Saturday? Here goes:

Volunteer for the Obama/Kaine/Connolly campaigns in Virginia. Yes, we hate going door to door and calling people up and all that, but we know what must be done. (In short, the kind of campaign fundamentals that Newt Gingrich didn't do.)

Write to John F. Harris and Jim VandeHei at POLITICO and tell them they must give all staff a special seminar on the correct use of "lie" and "lay." Mandatory attendance; no exceptions; pop quiz two days later. All who fail will get fired.

Take Andrew Sullivan with a larger grain of salt.

Make a clown college prediction for the Iowa caucuses. (Check us out next weekend.)

Give money to Elizabeth Warren for U.S. Senate in Massachusetts; Tammy Duckworth for Congress in Illinois' 8th District; and the Wisconsin Democratic Party for the Scott Walker Recall. (And probably more, but that's our list right now.)

Sit in more baskets of hot laundry.

Give up catnip. (Just kidding on that last one.)

No Salute for L'Armee du Salut

2011-12-24T16:55:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats passed by a Salvation Army bell ringer the other day. We mean that literally: We passed him by. Although we had plenty of change jingling in our pockets — you didn't know cats had pockets, did you? — none of it ended up in the Army's red kettle.

Nope, no spare change for them! In fact, we haven't forked over any quarters since we first became aware of the Army's hostility to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. So it was good to see our opinion reconfirmed by an article in The New York Times today.

Of course, this wasn't the first time our belief had been, um, buttressed. A couple of months ago we dropped off a clothing donation to a church in Montreal. When we mentioned that we had chosen them over the Salvation Army, they said, "Oh, please always donate to us. We give absolutely everything away. The Armee du Salut charges money."

Hm, we thought. Must be how the Army affords those fabulous commercials they run.

(Merry Christmas, everyone.)

Butthead

2011-12-23T11:23:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

So this idiot from Wisconsin, James Sensenbrenner, has had to send Michelle Obama a letter of apology. You know why.

Do we really have to point out that the First Lady's anti-obesity campaign is about raising fit children and keeping the whole country's healthcare costs from going through the roof — and not about having perfect bodies?

And do we also need to point out that this Sensenbrenner fool is hardly Mr. Svelte himself?

We could do both those things, but it wouldn't be in the holiday spirit, would it? It would be petty, and mean — and oh so Republican.

Surrender, Dorothy

2011-12-22T20:57:00.000-05:00

Is John Boehner the worst Speaker of the House ever? We cats think yes.

Republicans: Very Naughty

2011-12-22T18:32:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

Hoo, boy. If we cats had an "R" after our names — which is of course impossible — we wouldn't expect to see any presents under the tree this Christmas. Here are a few reasons why.

First, it looks like the teabaggers in the House, and their hapless alleged Speaker, have cried "uncle" and decided not to tax 160 million Americans come January 1. Ah, we love headlines like this: "GOP caves to Obama." We cats PURR. But we feel sorry for your Hill staffers who now have to scramble to get plane reservations home for Christmas.

Ron Paul has been revealed as the racist he's always been. Gosh. Are we so surprised that his son basically said he wouldn't enforce the 1964 Civil Rights Act?

On the "Lest We Furr-get" front, let us not let Willard Mitt Romney get away with rewriting history on the invasion of Iraq and Saddam Hussein's nonexistent weapons of mass destruction. "Had [the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived] known that [there were no WMD], the U.N. would not have put forth resolutions authorizing this type of action,," Romney said, "[and] the President would not have been pursuing that course." Liar, liar, magic Mormon underwear on fire. The U.N. never authorized the United States' invasion of a country that did not attack us.

So the GOP apparently is agog with the idea of New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez as a possible 2012 running mate. Aside from the fact that this gossip is an obvious attempt to paper over the Republican Party's hostility to Hispanics, it's deja vu all over again. Where have we seen this movie before? Popular, female, first-term Governor of a small state? The GOP's lack of originality is breathtaking.

Finally, we cats are fascinated with the fact that President Obama's approval ratings are trending up. Is this because people finally are realizing that he's the only grownup in the room? Seems pretty significant, since the 2012 Republican clown college spends 80 percent of their time — when not attacking each other — attacking him. Oops. Is it not working?

Celebrating the Life of a Democrat

2011-12-21T18:05:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

That would be "democrat" with a small "d," of course.

What a remarkable year 2011 has been. The Arab Spring that began it is still going on. In the meantime, one of the champions of democracy and intellectual freedom will be laid to rest on December 23. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, former President Bill Clinton, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and other American dignitaries will attend the funeral of Vaclav Havel.

What a contrast Havel's courageous, distinguished life presents to the smallness of U.S. politics today. Specifically, U.S. politics as practiced by the Republican members of the House of Representatives.

The teabaggers claim they advocate freedom of expression. But they've never once attained the level of thought in their lifetimes that Vaclav Havel achieved in single day. Sorry, just sayin'.

Get Ready for the Santorum Boomlet

2011-12-20T21:47:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats are so excited.

After months of near-total neglect — despite the fact that with the possible exception of Ron Paul, he's the only member of the Republican 2012 clown college to practice traditional retail politics in Iowa — Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum is finally about to have his own Michele Bachmann/Herman Cain/Donald Trump/Newt Gingrich/anybody-but-Mitt moment of his own.

'Cuz "Bob Vander Plaats" thinks Rick Santorum should be President.

"Bob Vander" who? Well you may ask. Seems that "Bob" heads a right-wing Christian organization called The Family Leader — you know, the kind of group that wants to castrate gays and execute doctors who perform abortions and what-not? So he's apparently an important guy in Iowa evangelical circles.

But here's the rub: It's only "Bob" who's endorsing Santorum, not the organization itself. The Family Leader is staying neutral.

Well. Gosh. That's kind of a bummer. But Santorum's grassroots Iowa operation might be good enough for a respectable showing in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, it's pretty funny that as The Family Leader trumpets "Bob's" candidate of choice, they simultaneously aver, "Our goal...is to honor and glorify God — not a political party, not a candidate and not a program."

We think they need to do a little work on the ninth commandment.

They Got Rhythm?

2011-12-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats have something disgusting to ask, but we think it's a legitimate question. Do Newt and Callista Gingrich practice birth control?

Why is this anybody's business? Lots of reasons. First and foremost, because Newt Gingrich has made such a big deal out of his conversion to Catholicism and how much that's allegedly helped him turn around his life.

Second, the last we checked, the only birth control that the shriveled old men in dresses up at the Vatican allow is the rhythm method.

Third, Newt Gingrich married Callista Bisek 11 years ago, when he was 57 and she was 34. Where are the children?

Since the Republicans wear their religion on their sleeves — and would love to impose it on the rest of us — we think the world should know: Do Newt and Callista do it only one week a month? Do they disobey the church and use some other contraceptive? Or — gasp — do they not have sex at all? (Because it would mess up Callista's golden orb, you know.)

Do they or don't they? Only Callista's hairdresser may know for sure.

"The Creche Is Not Religious"

2011-12-16T19:41:00.002-05:00

By Baxter

We cats say, whaaaa....?

Okay, let us back up a bit. There's a bit of a kerfuffle going on in Loudon County, Virginia, which mostly amuses us.

It seems that instead of taking the logical way out, and decreeing that no religious displays could be mounted on county courthouse property, the locals have instead opened the door wide to all manner of wacky — or, in Mitt Romney's parlance, "zany" — holiday presentations.

We cats are loving this, because the Loudon County fools are only getting their just desserts. It seems that some committed Christians are upset. So upset, in fact, that they're giving interviews to The Washington Post with tears in their eyes. And insisting that a depiction of the manger scene has nothing to do with faith. Gosh!

Our reaction to these quavering Christians is this: What's the big deal? If you're insistent on putting nativities and creches and statues of the Baby Jesus on public property, you'd better be prepared for Santa skeletons hanging on crosses, Flying Spaghetti Monsters, our personal rubber ducky Christmas scene (see above), and other whimsical works of art. It's the American Way. Just sayin'.

Underlying all this is an irony: We cats are certain Jesus Christ had a sense of humor. You won't see it in the Gospels, necessarily, but goodness gracious — we certainly hope He did.

Merry Festivus to all!

(IMAGE: Our rubber ducky creche is presided over by a precariously balancing ducky angel.)

Tidbits and Cat Treats — The Friday Before the Friday Before Christmas Edition

2011-12-16T10:39:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Nine days till Christmas, and there's too much to do. But we've still managed to catch and ponder a few items in the news. Here goes:

In the same week that the dumb Iraq war he supported ends, so does Christopher Hitchens. While we cats are not unreserved Hitchens fans, we still find it satisfying when our simple-minded society pauses to note the death of a writer.

We've always considered Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to be super-lame, but this takes the cake: Apparently his 2011 holiday card has been Photoshopped. (Everyone but Mrs. Harper is sporting the same clothes they wore in 2010.) Tacky!

Speaking of naughty boys, Karl Rove is tired of all the Republican debates and thinks they should stop. Inquiring minds want to know: Why should a man who planted a hidden earpiece on his candidate have any credibility on the subject of debates?

It looks like Michele Bachmann really cleaned Newt Gingrich's clock last night — partly because she got tired of him treating her condescendingly. How ironic. Hello, Republican women! This is your party: old white guys who want to control and dismiss you.

Finally, we cats recall averring last month that it's the Obama haters in this country who have the guns. This morning, we rest our case.

Mrs. Malaprop Lives!

2011-12-14T18:17:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

Hoo, boy. This is just what Willard Mitt Romney needs: an endorsement from Christine O'Donnell.

No doubt the Mitt Men thought that by trotting out the Dumb Brunette from Delaware, they'd make some inroads into the Christian conservative community.

Thanks for playing, boys, and we have some lovely parting gifts in the back. Because in endorsing Romney, O'Donnell spoke a line that surely will belong to the ages — and not in a good way. "He's been consistent since he changed his mind."

O, Christine, we cats salute you. You now will join the storied annals of "I was for the war before I was against it," "That statement is no longer operative," "I am not a crook" and "Watch what we do, not what we say."

It's a classic.

Mission Actually Accomplished.

2011-12-14T18:05:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats well remember the dark, dark days of 2003, when the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived was ginning up his fake war in Iraq, and everybody except us and one other colleague was wearing yellow ribbons in the workplace.

Today, we have a small measure of revenge — knowing that Barack Hussein Obama, who campaigned against "dumb wars," has brought this particular dumb war to its close.

Bring Out Your Dead

2011-12-13T20:53:00.004-05:00

By Baxter

Rudy Giuliani, who as we all know is an idiot, has made a head-scratching reference in support of newly minted GOP "frontrunner" Newt Gingrich.

"My guts tells me...that Gingrich might actually be the stronger candidate," Giuliani said, "because I think he can make a broader connection than Mitt Romney to those Reagan Democrats."

"Reagan Democrats"?

POLITICO, of course, which reported the story, did not challenge the corrupt former mayor of New York on his allusion — mainly because, as we cats suspect, the average age of that website's reporters is about 23. But they should have.

See, the term "Reagan Democrats" dates from the election of 1980. Now, we cats remember 1980 quite well — in fact, we were in the thick of things back then. But we'd venture to say that a good portion, if not most, of today's registered voters have no memory of that fateful Presidential year. Or even of Ronald Reagan's Presidency itself.

What's more, demographic analyses have shown that the "Reagan Democrats" of 1980 skewed older: 39 percent were age 45 to 59, while 40 percent were age 60-plus.

You know what that means, Mr. Mayor? Today, 31 years later, those Reagan voters are probably dead.

We wish that some intelligent person in journalism — someone with an institutional memory who can read a calendar correctly — would call jerks like Giuliani on careless crap like this.

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Naughty & Nice Edition

2011-12-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have observed some behavior recently that's either going to bring the perpetrators a nice shiny Radio Flyer on Christmas morning, or a stocking full of coal. For example:

The only thing we wonder about Willard Mitt Romney's $10,000 bet is whether Romney was that stupid spontaneously, or if it was planned. No pun intended, but we'd bet on the latter. We can just see his campaign team sitting around strategizing, and somebody saying, "Hey, the next time someone accuses the Governor of flip-flopping, he should lay down a bet!" And everyone else exclaiming, "Great idea!" (Not.)

The Republicans used to adore our men and women in the Armed Forces. They'd use them as props in all of George W. Bush's blustering speeches. But now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell is history, they're not feeling the love any more. Particularly for the gay ones. (Willard Mitt Rommey, again. Who, by the way, we don't think ever served.)

So now Rick Perry is the proud recipient of the Sarah Palin "I Didn't Know Africa Was a Continent" Award. "Solynda"? A country?

Sigh. We cats are running out of retail stores to go to. We haven't shopped at Target since they gave money to that homophobe Tom Emmer in Minnesota. Now Lowe's Home Improvement is dancing to the Florida Family Association's tune and pulling its ads from a Muslim-themed reality show. We guess that it'll be a long time before "Little Mosque on the Prairie" is syndicated in the U.S.

It sure is ironic (not to mention amusing) that Scott Walker supporters in Wisconsin are so scared of the Democrats that they're defacing recall petitions. Not only is Santa taking note, so is law enforcement: Messing up petitions is a violation of election fraud laws — a felony. Ha!

POLITICO reports that 68 percent of those polled don't know that the Dodd-Frank Act provides new protections to workplace whistleblowers. We cats completely blame the White House for this. (And you thought we were just knee-jerk Obama lovers.) For some reason this Administration does a crappy job of celebrating — and communicating — its successes. Like health care reform. Let's hope they get better at it before next November.

Blessed Are The Admakers

2011-12-11T13:48:00.000-05:00

Jesus Responds to Rick Perry's "Strong" Ad from DC Pierson

Making a List (of Questions), Checking It Twice

2011-12-11T13:44:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats find the endless Republican debates amusing, but at the same time a little frustrating. So many questions still don't get asked.

To that end, here are a few suggestions for next time.

Do you define 20 straight months of private-sector job growth as a recession? If so, how do you describe what happened to the economy during the Bush years?

Do you believe that the United States was founded as a Christian nation? If yes, please explain. (We think your Jewish Republican friends should be interested.)

Do you support allowing alternative holiday displays on the grounds of the Leesburg, Virginia courthouse? If not, why should Christian displays be favored? (Ditto.)

Will you be upset if President Obama recess-appoints Richard Cordray to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau? If yes, did you support George W. Bush when he recess-appointed John Bolton as U.N. ambassador? If so, what's the difference?

While we're at it, why are you against protecting American consumers from fraud and abuse?

Please name all the members of the United States Supreme Court.

(IMAGE: Screen grab from last night's clown college lollapalooza. Who needs to get a gym membership for Christmas?)

Rick Perry Isn't Gay. He's Stupid.

2011-12-10T13:28:00.000-05:00

"I trust those independent school districts to make those decisions [about prayer in the classroom] better than eight unelected and, frankly, unaccountable judges."

More Evidence of a Blue-State America

2011-12-09T18:22:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats are so, so sick of the GOP line that Obama hates Israel. Who kills more Muslim terrorists than Barack Hussein Obama?

In the meantime, we pause to admire Michelle Obama's very Israel-appropriate Hanukkah party dress. Did Laura Bush ever wear anything so fetching? We think not.

Romney, Rebuked

2011-12-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

Willard "Mitt" Romney richly deserved the smackdown that the President of the United States gave him today.

Not just because we should all kinda leave the Neville Chamberlain and Nazi Germany and World War II references behind. But because Willard Mitt Romney is a privileged, inauthentic, finger-in-the-wind know-nothing whose foreign policy credentials are nil.

Romney has also been lucky, in that he's a member of the whackiest, most off-the-wall gang of clownish Presidential wannabes in American history. Since his Republican primary rivals are completely laughable, and he only partly so, he so far has escaped most of the worst ridicule. But make no mistake: Mitt Romney is a pantaloon, too. Only a fool would drive to Canada with the family dog strapped to the roof of the car, and only an idiot would say what Romney said about appeasement yesterday.

So, let's take a moment and give the neglected scaramouche from Michigan a little of the contemptuous attention he deserves. Take Romney's reaction on Tuesday to Newt Gingrich's surging poll numbers. "We're just starting!" he sputtered. "We're just getting up with ads. You'll see me campaigning aggressively... blah blah blah."

Pretty funny stuff, coming from a guy who's been waging this campaign for about eight years. If Romney is "just starting," when is he really running for President? In 2020?

Well, never mind. We're sure that the coming days and weeks hold even more amusement for us. For example, Romney's Super PAC has just dropped $3.1 million on ads in Iowa for the January 3 caucuses.

We bet his numbers don't go up. In fact, we bet they go down.

We cats PURR.

Willard, Worried

2011-12-07T21:27:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are having so much fun with the 2012 Republican clown college right now.

They are so screwed up — what with the putative frontrunner whom nobody loves deflating in the polls, and the most ethically challenged House Speaker in history apparently surging. This delicious scenario does not take into account the whacky lady from Minnesota who is stopped dead in her tracks by an eight-year-old boy. Nor does it include the former Senator from Pennsylvania who, mysteriously, seems to know all about the value of gay sex. Hm.

So. What's next? While this is not very risky to say, we cats predict that the upcoming Republican polls will continue to show Willard Mitt Romney's national numbers dropping, and Newt Gingrich's and Ron Paul's (remember him?) rising.

If this happens, then we'll look for new polls in Nevada and Michigan. If either show a similar Romney decline, they will cause a real stir, punching serious holes in Romney's carefully constructed campaign firewalls. At which point Mitt will be forced to dip into his (really-not-so-deep) campaign treasury — or, finally, write a check of his own — to boost campaign spending, particularly in Iowa, South Carolina, Florida and maybe even Michigan, Nevada and Arizona.

Upshot? Everyone will know they're panicking.

We cats wonder if the Romney campaign would then be so bold as to claim that Newt is indeed the frontrunner and that Willard — after years and years and years of running for this office — is just a humble underdog.

We're happy to wait and see. In the meantime, we PURR.

Okay, Maybe There Really Is a Blue-State America

2011-12-05T22:06:00.002-05:00

The President and First Lady hosted the Kennedy Center honors last night. We cats think that the rainbow-colored carcanets that the honorees wear are stupid. But Mrs. Obama was a vision in Parrish blue.

(PHOTO: Yuri Gripas / Reuters Pictures)

Cat Fight! Nancy Pelosi vs. Newt Gingrich

2011-12-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

So former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi took a swipe at former Speaker of the House (and Serial Hypocritical Adulterer) Newt Gingrich by saying that there's a ton of dirt on Newtie from the 1990s House ethics investigation — and Newt is, um, offended.

We cats say, yay. The (mostly, although not totally) unreported story this year is how much money Speaker Pelosi has been raising for her fellow Democrats. Engaging Gingrich will only add to her totals — not to mention that spatting with Callistaman should, in our view, enhance Pelosi's standing with independent women voters.

Need we say more? PURR.

Note to Santa: There's Something Else We Want

2011-12-03T21:27:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

Yes, we cats know that we said we wouldn't write about "Herb" Cain again. But now that he's "suspended" his silly Presidential campaign — which means that he can still raise money and qualify for federal matching funds — we want to add an item to our Christmas wish list.

Remember when "Herb" claimed he raised $9 million in October? We want the media to follow up on that when campaign quarterly fundraising reports are due January 31, 2012.

Cain has such little acquaintance with the truth that we're sure he was lying about that, too.

Thank you in advance, Santa!

P.S.: "Herb" Cain is a buffoon who jokes (and then said he was serious) about killing Mexicans with an electrified border fence. So it wasn't surprising today that he used a tasteless phrase about "skinning cats." But we're still offended.

All We Want for Christmas Is a Screwed-Up Republican Race

2011-12-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

By Baxter

Goodness gracious, the holidays are practically upon us. Which means that the first official contest of the 2012 Republican clown college is only a month away! We cats have given some thought to how, assuming that "Herb" Cain will be sidelined to the marital penalty box, we'd prefer to see the madcap antics unfold. (To Democrats' advantage, of course.)

So hang onto your hats, because here's our best-case scenario leading into Super Tuesday. (We'll keep a running tally of how closely our wish list hews to reality — if, indeed, there's any relation between Republicans and reality this year.)

IOWA — Gingrich wins, with Ron Paul a strong second, and Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum a modest but respectable third. Romney, Perry and Bachmann split fourth, fifth and sixth.

NEW HAMPSHIRE — Romney wins but can't crack 40 percent. Gingrich does very well; Jon Huntsman does surprisingly well.

SOUTH CAROLINA — Whoever wins, Romney, Gingrich, Perry and Bachmann all come within one to three points of one another.

NEVADA — Romney wins it again, but Paul and Perry take a big chunk out of his 2008 numbers.

FLORIDA — Gingrich wins.

MICHIGAN — Romney wins, but not as overwhelmingly as he needs to.

ARIZONA — Romney wins, but Perry is surprisingly strong.

All righty, then: That leaves us five weeks to Super Tuesday, with nobody knowing anything, the race stretching out interminably, and the clowns attacking each other into infinity with water balloons and seltzer spray. Please, Santa, please? We cats have been very good this year!

(IMAGE: www.bandofcats.com)

"We Have So Much Time and So Little to See"

2011-12-01T23:35:00.002-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Perhaps over the last several weeks, as the drip-drip of the "Herb" Cain revelations has continued, you've wondered — as any normal person would — what ol' "Herb" could have been thinking. How could he have so brazenly run for President on the assumption that all these, um, female problems wouldn't be revealed?

We cats were wondering a version of that ourselves, when we saw that Cain is planning to officially open a campaign headquarters in Atlanta on Saturday — but may decide to drop out of the race on Sunday. What's that about? Who would attend such a silly and pointless event if the candidate himself might throw in the towel before the weekend is out?

The only conclusion we can come to — and it applies to the "What was he thinking?" question as well — is that "Herb" Cain has tremendous contempt for the Republican primary voter.

Freepers, the ball's in your court.

UPDATE, December 2: Ooooh! It looks like "Herb" isn't waiting until Sunday after all, and will "announce" something tomorrow instead. But nobody knows what. We cats wonder, who the heck cares? This man is ridiculous — a buffoon who got into the race on a lark. It's like Tony Robbins is running for President. We're done with him.

Hang a Shining Star Upon the Highest Bo

2011-11-30T21:17:00.001-05:00

As cats, we naturally wish that the White House had been decorated with a feline rather than canine theme this holiday season — but this button-encrusted topiary of Bo Obama is pretty cute.

(PHOTO: Politico)

Freepers Do the Kubler-Ross Thing

2011-11-30T10:18:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats, being curious, decided to check in on our old friends — the right-wing, Romney-hating nutbags over at Free Republic — to see how they were coping with the latest "Herb" Cain, um, female problem.

We found them going through all five of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of grief. Fascinating. So without further ado, here they are:

Denial — "We all have the opportunity to send Cain a personal message of support through his website. I did that yesterday after the latest slime attack. I encourage others that [sic] believe Cain can make a difference for America as President to do the same."

Anger — "I believe the Communist Party, which openly stated that it will personally destroy anyone who may run against Obama. Oh yeah, and women lie all the time, just in case you never noticed."

Bargaining — "Is it too late to go for Santorum? Just give me a conservative who can speak, who doesn’t cheat on his wife, and doesn’t think I’m heartless or inhumane to want illegals to not get benefits."

Depression — "I feel sorry for the guy. Only Democraps [sic] can get away with being accused of stuff like this (true or not)."

More Depression — "Looks like we have nobody worthwhile in this race."

And Finally, Acceptance — "I think that’s it for America. Obama will get his second term."

(We cats say, amen to that last thought! We PURR.)

...Except, Of Course, For That Time We Impeached a President Over It

2011-11-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

"No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life."

—Lin Wood, attorney for "Herb" Cain

But... Sam Brownback DOES Blow A Lot!

2011-11-28T17:54:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats think that Emma Sullivan had it right the first time, even though she's now saying it was a joke: Sam Brownback, the right-wing religious nut who went from Kansas Senator to Kansas Governor — and who is the perfect symbol of that backward, woman-hating, science-despising, Fred Phelps-spawning, sorry-ass state — definitely sucks.

No matter. We can still savor the spectacle of the pathetic Brownbackers getting their knickers in a twist over nothing. They whined to Shawnee Mission East High School about an unflattering-to-Brownback tweet the spunky 18-year-old sent while on a Youth In Government trip to Topeka.

Now that the world has decided he and his staff are complete buffoons, Brownback has backed down and apologized to Sullivan, who is off the hook about writing him a mea culpa of her own. (Although apparently the Shawnee Mission East principal has been hung out to dry.)

We cats think that Brownback owes Sullivan and all the women of Kansas another apology — for wanting to control their reproductive systems. Other than that, it's a good day for 1) free speech and 2) embarrassing Republicans. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Emma Sullivan / Twitter)

Le Fin

2011-11-26T08:53:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

As with so many other Occupy encampments, the OWS movement in Montreal was evicted from its city park yesterday.

We cats are in Montreal (yep, one of us actually made the trip with our humans this time). And we have to admit that, having seen the Occupy camp in Square Victoria before it was shut down yesterday morning, we're relieved. Gosh, it was a mess.

Montreal has many beautiful urban green spaces — and while we're pleased that the Occupiers have managed to shine a light on economic inequality and the right wing's absurd defense of the wealthy, we didn't appreciate the sorry state of our neighborhood park.

We won't tell the Occupiers to take a bath or get a job, but as their movement evolves we urge them to find a way to communicate their worthy message with less detritus.

(PHOTO: The Montreal Gazette)

A-w-w-w-w-w!

2011-11-23T19:47:00.000-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

We cats don't usually go for showy marriage proposals, but since this nice couple is from Montreal — and posed on Mount Royal, overlooking the city — we'll give them a pass.

And if you'd like to see their cute-to-die for video, it's here.

We too are headed for la belle ville, although we don't expect nearly as much fuss and bother while we're there. We'll just settle for some succulent confit de canard and a good hockey game or two.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

It's That Day Again

2011-11-22T21:30:00.002-05:00

We cats weren't planning to post today about President Kennedy's assassination, but we just had to get that dual picture of Roger Ailes and the famous quitter off the top of the blog.

Roger & She

2011-11-22T17:24:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

Not that there's any doubt about it, but this story about Roger Ailes's fury at the famous quitter from Alaska — who revealed her alleged 2012 intentions on right-wing radio — destroys any possibility that FOX could remotely, or even charitably, be called a cable news channel.

(And as long as we're on the subject on false equivalency — actually, we weren't, but it's the wingnuts' favorite "backatcha," so here we go — we cats cannot imagine anyone at MSNBC saying something like, "I paid her for two years to make this announcement on this network.")

We do wonder, though, what Ailes would say he's been paying Juan Williams and Mara Liasson for. Or any of the other so-called "experts" who allegedly bring a non-FOX credential to his airwaves.

(PHOTO: Business Insider)

Good News!

2011-11-21T18:58:00.002-05:00

(PHOTO: Jane Behlen Masters, November 18, 2011)

Lest We Furr-get: Four Dead in Ohio

2011-11-21T13:49:00.002-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats are appalled at the pepper-spray incident at UC Davis on Friday. Not just because the officers who hit the Occupy Wall Street demonstrators at point-black range were malevolently nonchalant, but also because it reminded us of something far more serious that happened many years ago.

On May 4, 1970, the Ohio National Guard opened fire on students protesting the U.S. invasion of Cambodia at Kent State University, killing four.

Handy tip to OWS demonstrators across the country: Those of us old enough to remember the shame of Kent State would just like point out that really icky stuff can happen to you when you go up against the powers that be in America. You can get a face full of pepper spray, and you can even get killed.

Let's fervently hope not. But since the authorities at UC Davis seem slow to make the pepper-spray perps pay for their outrageous behavior — and indeed, this weekend the university's chancellor had to walk an eerie gantlet of silent protesters who drove home that point — sadly, we cats are seeing historical parallels here.

(PHOTO: Yep, those are National Guardsmen aiming real guns at an American college student. Amazing, isn't it?)

Who Needs NASCAR?

2011-11-21T12:39:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

Once, a few years ago, we cats were driving down from Miami to the Florida Keys when we got caught in a traffic jam near Homestead.

Need we say that the gridlock was due to a NASCAR event? And, hoo boy. We'd never seen such a glut of obnoxious Republican bumper stickers. But then, we never attend megachurch or park at Marcus Bachmann's "pray away the gay" clinic.

So we were a little puzzled why Michelle Obama and Jill Biden would show up at Homestead over the weekend, only to get booed by some of those same NASCAR idiots. (We say idiots because, goodness gracious, is there any stupider sport than auto racing? Okay, maybe golf.)

We have only two theories, both political: One, that since teabaggers and conservative Republicans skew heavily to older, white males — and since there is some sympathy for the President (and even more for the First Lady) among working-class white females — having the drunken boys boo Michelle and Jill at a teabag sporting event could build more support among those women.

Two, their appearance could 1) inspire some seriously insincere, highbrow-ish candidate — say, Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich — to show up at another NASCAR event and make a complete fool of himself, and 2) force the Republicans to further embrace this repellent demographic, strengthening their hold on the (dying and shrinking) rural South and making the GOP even less palatable to swing-state suburban voters.

Even if neither of our theories is correct, it's foolish for the NASCAR fans to have booed. Since Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden were there to promote Joining Forces, you could say the NASCARians were jeering the troops. Why do teabaggers hate America?

Count Your Blessings (Comptez Vos Benedictions)

2011-11-18T20:56:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Oh, goodness. Montreal is wringing its hands over the status of BIXI, the city's shared bike service. It seems that after three years, BIXIs are more popular than ever — but even so, the system has trouble meeting its budget, and vandalism is up.

We cats would like to urge Montrealers to put these problems into perspective. Do they know how many American cities aren't even there yet? Most of America hasn't yet installed shared bike systems, let alone tried to figure out whether they're successful or not.

Nope — we in the U.S. are, sadly, BIXI-less. Which means that our citizens aren't availing themselves of a clean, healthy, pollution-free method of transport. So their problems aren't nearly as advanced as the problems of a city that's BIXI'd.

Therefore, we cats say to Montreal: Felicitations. You may be dealing with stuff that's a pain in the derriere. But at least you have BIXIs.

Zero

2011-11-17T18:13:00.001-05:00

By Sniffles

John Bolton is such a nitwit. Here's a guy who was so completely unsuitable for U.N. ambassador that his nomination couldn't get through the Senate — he only got the job through a recess appointment. Now, these dubious credentials behind him, he's weighing in on President Obama's cojones in the Middle East.

Incredible. You know, if Bolton and his ilk (Cheney 2016!) had their way, we'd be dropping bombs — and bringing soldiers back in body bags — from Iran and Syria and Libya right now. You could probably add Yemen for good measure. And, as long as we're doing Iran and Syria and Yemen, we might as well toss a shooting war in Lebanon into the mix.

Insanity.

Please remind us cats again: How many U.S. military personnel died to rid Libya of Ghadafi? And what about that disastrous, ineffective, no-cojones Navy Seals mission that killed Osama bin Laden? Um-hmmm. John Bolton has decided not to run for President next year, but he's still a starring member of the Republican clown college.

P.S. It's dawned on us cats that if we were in the military, we'd be a lot safer under a Democratic President than a Republican one.

"Ortega-Hernandez" Is Too Long a Name for a Sondheim Lyric (Thank Goodness)

2011-11-17T16:10:00.000-05:00

By Zamboni

Wow, that hyphenated guy from Idaho who allegedly fired shots at the White House is suddenly in a whole LOT more trouble today. He's gone from armed nutcase with a bunch of weird tattoos to attempted Presidential assassin.

What were we cats just saying about people who hate the 44th President (as opposed to those of us who hate the 43rd)? We think we said that the folks who hate Barack Obama are the ones with the guns.

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Rainy Wednesday Afternoon Edition

2011-11-16T16:44:00.001-05:00

By Baxter

It's raining in Northern Virginia and — well, suffice to say we're seeing a lot of little cat feet outside. Good napping weather. But here are a few political stories that have gotten our barely-awake attention.

So the GOP's new 2012 clown college darling, Newt Gingrich, got a $1.5 million paycheck from Freddie Mac for some alleged "historian" services. We cats find it disgusting that 1) Freddie Mac would hire someone who is against everything they stand for, and that 2) Gingrich would sell out his beliefs about government intervention in the economy for — gasp! — money. He's so principled, isn't he? (Then again, he had some big Tiffany bills.)

P.S. Gingrich's $1.5 million Freddie Mac tab also makes Rick Perry look like a bargain-basement leftover.

Meanwhile, we've seen a flurry of columns and commentary about how the Republican Party will just have to resign itself to Mitt Romney as the 2012 nominee. We suspect that members of the GOP establishment have been working the Beltway media hard on this story line. But we don't see the teabaggers taking it lying down. Just for fun, we did a quick visit to our favorite right-wing nuts at Free Republic. "Romney is in no way a shoe in [sic] in Iowa," protested one. "I’m as mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this insider guidance anymore," responded another. We cats think that come January, we'll have to tell Karl Rove and the gang: You heard it here first.

As for the breakup of the Occupy Wall Street encampments, we'll have more to say about that next week, after we see how Occupy Montreal is going. But we wish we could rid ourselves of the nagging feeling that OWS in the U.S. is made up of people who didn't vote in 2010.

Here's Joanie Caucus's Candidate

2011-11-14T18:11:00.000-05:00

The Cain Claim

2011-11-14T17:53:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

Okay, so we cats have refrained from writing about "Herb" Cain for a few days. Are we good? Can we talk about him again?

Because we have something we need to, if you'll pardon the expression, call bullshit on.

Nope, it's not the hapless Mrs. Cain's interview with FOX "News." Please. We think we know from the Clintons' saga that the last person to know about stuff like this is the wife.

It's Cain's assertion that he's raised a ton of money from his sexual harassment allegations. Really?

This is reported fund raising. "Reported," because as far as we know, FEC documents on actual monies raised aren't due until December 31. In short, the only source for the magic nine-million-dollar figure is the Cain campaign itself.

Why should we believe it?

Cain has changed his story on the harassment allegations numerous times, and blamed a variety of people. None of it makes any sense, because — you know what? — neither does he. Considering his track record — with this issue as well as with abortion and the electrified border fence — why should "Herb" Cain have credibility on anything?

We cats are waiting for a respectable journalist to call Cain out on this. If someone does, we'll PURR and let you know.

UPDATE, November 14: So, "Herb" Cain doesn't know jack about Libya? And we should be surprised?

Willard's Worst Nightmare

2011-11-12T20:27:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

We cats just figured out how the famous quitter from Alaska unquits the Presidential race.

Picture it: It's just after Thanksgiving, and Iowa is a month away. There's a cattle-call event there, or maybe in South Carolina. (But Iowa would be better.) Most of the GOP's 2012 clown college are attending. The famous quitter tips the media that she'll appear as well — maybe to endorse someone. The press shows up in droves. The stage is set.

When it's time for the famous quitter to speak, she starts by saying something nice about every right-winger in the race, from Bachmann to Perry to Santorum to Cain. Each of them, she says, is a great conservative. Each of them, she avers, would make a better commander-in-chief than the current occupant of the Oval Office.

However.

None of them, she suddenly says, has been able to stand up to attacks from the lamestream media. Each of them has been elevated, and then viciously taken down, by the so-called journalists who are, in reality, brainwashed puppets of the current Administration. Only I, she says — I, the famous quitter — have been able to withstand the onslaught of the liberal, Obama-loving press. Therefore, although I know I said I wouldn't run, witnessing the decimation of my fellow conservatives has made me change my mind. I'm in!

After that, the crowd goes wild, the other clowns blink in shock and surprise, and the famous quitter is carried on the triumphant throng's shoulders into the starry Iowa night. One hour later, FOX "News" runs a "post-announcement" interview that the famous quitter pre-recorded with Greta van Susteren earlier that day.

(We cats, of course, are convinced that the famous quitter could win Iowa, even in so short of time. We know because we read those right-wing, Romney-reviling, Palin-praising nutbags over at Free Republic.)

You heard it here first! Time for a nap.

A Quickie: Should Sandusky, Ohio Change Its Name?

2011-11-11T19:09:00.001-05:00

By Zamboni

We cats have read the 23-page grand jury report on the Penn State child rape scandal. (To its credit, the university's student paper made a PDF of the report available online. It reminds us of a line from the film "Topsy-Turvy": "The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.")

And oh, boy, here we go. The homophobic hatemongers on the right have wasted no time blaming all gay people for Jerry Sandusky's crimes.

So, let's get this straight: Jerry Sandusky could get a 460-year prison sentence, but it's Elton John's fault?

We cats HISS.

La Guerre Against Les Girls

2011-11-10T12:55:00.004-05:00

By Baxter

We cats really don't want to keep writing about "Herb" Cain, but he keeps giving us reasons to.

To wit: The fact that his campaign is now threatening to destroy the women accusing him of sexual harassment just makes us cats believe the charges more.

Yep, "Herb" is clearly a guy who believes he's entitled to everything — the Presidency, the sexual services of women who work for him — and if you don't comply with that, watch out.

(We can hear the Freepers screaming "hypocrisy" now, and we'll just pre-empt all that by responding right away. Yes, dear Freeps, we know that the Clinton campaign went after Gennifer Flowers in 1992. We'd also like to remind you that the President later admitted her story was true. So in the words of "Herb's" lawyer, before you make the Clinton-Cain comparison, "think twice.")

Meanwhile, we see the Cain aggression as part of a larger picture: the GOP's overall attitude toward women. The party is becoming positively Saudi in its regression on women's rights.

See, the Democratic Party, for all the flaws of some of its male, um, members, does not try to legislate away women's freedoms and prosperity. It's not Democrats who are trying to pass "personhood" amendments in the states. It's not Democrats who are trying to hurt working women and their families through union-busting. It's not Democrats who want wives to be submissive to their husbands. And on and on and on.

We wish we knew what Republican women are thinking about today's GOP. And as always, we'd like to ask, "Why are you in that party?"

(P.S. Speaking of Republican women, how did Jan Brewer get Rick Perry to channel her last night? Amazing! You know, whoever told Perry last month not to do any more debates is looking like a genius today.)

UPDATE, November 11: Re Cain's "Princess Nancy" epithet and his "joke" about Anita Hill? More proof to us cats that he's guilty as charged. Also, he hates women. In our next post, we will endeavor to write about a subject other than this supremely empty suit.

(IMAGE: POLITICO)

So Much For That!

2011-11-08T14:59:00.005-05:00

It seems like only yesterday that "Herb" Cain was refusing to talk about sexual harassment. "We are getting back on message," he insisted. "End of story. Back on message."

Except in just a few minutes, he's holding a press conference to talk about it.

UPDATE: We cats are sensing a pattern here. Cain apparently isn't holding his presser at 3 PM after all. It's at 5.

UPDATE #2: We cats think that "Herb" really needs to get his story straight. Is it one of his fellow Republican Presidential campaigns who's spreading these nasty rumors, or the Democrats? (Frankly, we can't imagine why a Democratic operation would choose to intervene when "Herb" is effectively self-destructing, but never mind.) We would simply remind "Herb" that the word "Democrat" is a noun, and not an adjective. Therefore, the term "Democrat machine" is incorrect.

UPDATE #3: For all you Freepers and other right wingers who have jumped on Gloria Allred, we cats just say, "Lin Wood — Gary Condit." 'Nuff said.

UPDATE #4: Cain's press conference was bizarre. He is a ridiculous figure.

Postscript: The One Thing They Haven't Tried to Pin On Obama (Yet)

2011-11-07T18:08:00.001-05:00

By Miss Kubelik

At the end of her press conference today, "Herb" Cain accuser Sharon Bialek asked the 2012 Republican clown college frontrunner to come clean on sexually assaulting her in 1997. She also said this:

"We need a leader who can set an example which exemplifies the standards of a good person and moral character."

We cats don't know about that "examples exemplifying" stuff (hello, Grammar Police!). But for a good person with moral character, we suggest that Ms. Bialek need look no further than the current occupant of the Oval Office.

"Herb" Cain: The Only Guy Having a Worse Day Than Dr. Conrad Murray

2011-11-07T14:49:00.000-05:00

By Sniffles

What was The New York Times's Nate Silver just saying — that it's not crazy or impossible for another candidate to join the 2012 Republican clown college, even at this late date?

We cats fully expect that chatter to begin anew, as a fourth woman has not only alleged eewy behavior on the part of "Herb" Cain but — unbound by any legal settlements or payouts — has just held a press conference and provided all the disgusting details. Ugh.

Should that 2012 chatter gear up again (and in some respects it already has), it will represent many Republican dilemmas:

Fear of Ron Paul and his whackjobs;
Fear that Newt Gingrich has somehow managed to survive his disastrous launch;
Grief that Jon Huntsman is going nowhere;
Relief that the same is true of Rick "Don't Google His Name" Santorum;
Disgust at the disaster that is pain-pill-addicted Rick Perry;
Equal disgust at the folly that is Herb Cain;
The knowledge that the famous quitter from Alaska and her doppelganger from Minnesota are both unelectable;
But, most important, the ongoing distrust and contempt for the prospect of Mitt Romney taking the Republican nomination, sticking it in a dog crate and driving away to Canada with it.

(IMAGE: Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press)

The Lesson Andy Rooney Didn't Learn

2011-11-05T16:39:00.001-04:00

By Zamboni

Andy Rooney's obituary in The New York Times has made us think of how we felt when Charlton Heston died.

Honest, there's a connection, so please bear with us.

You may recall that National Rifle Association president Heston gave a despicable but revealing interview to Michael Moore in "Bowling for Columbine" — basically saying that America had to arm itself because of all the blacks.

We cats wondered then — as we wonder now — how Heston ended up saying that when, back in the day, he marched for civil rights with Martin Luther King.

We hadn't expected a similar mood to strike us when we approached Rooney's obit. We remembered on our own that he'd made unseemly remarks about gay people ("Many of the ills which kill us are self-induced...[like] homosexual unions"), women, and Hispanics (“I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today’s baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me"). So when we heard he'd died, we weren't exactly broken up.

But then we read that as an Army sergeant and reporter for The Stars & Stripes, he covered the U.S. liberation of Buchenwald.

So. How do you go from being one of the first guys to march into a Nazi death camp — and then later hurl slurs at people solely on the basis of who they are?

Perhaps we should add a sidebar to this blog: "Human Beings We Don't Miss."

(PHOTO: U.S. Army soldiers liberate the Buchenwald concentration camp near Weimar, Germany, April 1945. From the Mayor Robert F. Wagner Collection of the LaGuardia & Wagner Libraries.)

"Herb" Cain: You Lie (You Lay)

2011-11-04T18:16:00.003-04:00

By Baxter

We cats are tired of being curmudgeons, but the state of today's journalism is forcing us into it.

Just days ago we had to write the ombudsman at The Washington Post, complaining that the Republican pejorative "Democrat party" appeared in a news story. Mr. Ombudsman wrote us back, apologizing that the term had been "creeping into WaPo copy of late."

Alarming. We cats say: Don't talk about it "creeping." Just fix it.

Today, we once again had to contact the Post about a grammatical error. Although not as sinister as using "Democrat" as an adjective, this one just drives us wild. Reporters on a "Herb" Cain story used "laid" as a past tense for the verb "to lie."

(Yes, we know that several jokes about Herb Cain lying are spinning around in your head right now. But the sentence in question referred to Mr. Cain reclining to sunbathe — not to telling an untruth, which he evidently often does.)

You know why the Post should care about proper grammar? Well, aside from the obvious — that one should speak and write English well — there's an economic argument. It's the older consumer who cares about good grammar; coincidentally, it's people in that older demographic who are still buying newspapers and magazines. Which means a greater proportion of the Post's readers likely still value good writing — even if the reporters are now all 25 years old (and most of their editors are 30).

As for Herb Cain lying, there's some new news on that.

UPDATE: November 5: We're happy to report that POLITICO, which has sinned with "lie/lay" in the past, got it right today. Congratulations!

The Blackboard Jingle

2011-11-04T17:43:00.000-04:00

One of the great things about marriage equality is that it inspires awfully clever signs, posters and — in this instance — blackboards. Quick! Where is this store, so we can buy something there?

Jobs Decline, A Mari Usque ad Mare*

2011-11-04T14:16:00.001-04:00

By Miss Kubelik

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper talks a lot about creating jobs, but he doesn't do anything about it — living proof that he's a Republican at heart.

Example: In Washington, as "The Daily Show" has so brilliantly observed, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives excoriates President Obama's alleged failures on the economy. But instead of taking action themselves, they spend time on goofy bills — like the one declaring "In God We Trust" our national motto. (Meanwhile, their colleagues in the Senate block another part of the Obama jobs bill.) In short, the GOP's money is not where its mouth is.

And Harper? He's been greeted at the G20 summit with some bad news from the home front: a Statistics Canada report that Canadian unemployment jumped to 7.3 percent in October, wiping out all job gains made in the previous month.

Harper says he is "disappointed." But is he going to leap into action, perhaps send some new stimulus legislation to Parliament? Gosh, no.

Well, at least they're not wasting time on Canada's motto. Are they?

*"From sea to sea"

(PHOTO: Reuters)

The Best Freeper Post, Ever

2011-11-02T17:19:00.002-04:00

By Sniffles

We confess: When we cats get lazy — when it's chilly out, and the space heater is going, and we've just scarfed an entire plate of Friskies Sea Captain's Choice — we visit the comment threads at Free Republic for some easy entertainment.

So, okay, we plead totally guilty to that. But we really, truly had to see how the Freepers were reacting to the news that a third woman at the National Restaurant Association has alleged inappropriate behavior by teabagger Presidential favorite "Herb" Cain.

This interested us for several reasons. First, because the right wing is just totally, utterly aghast at President Bill Clinton's behavior, forever and ever, amen. No way, they aver, would any of the guys on their side of the aisle so debase themselves! Yet now that "Herb" has been proven to have sexual feet of clay, we're highly amused by their bending and scraping to absolve him.

But the other reason we're intrigued is that "Herb's" candidacy is only a story because the famous quitter from Alaska, um, quit. Quit, that is, the 2012 race. We instantly saw the Freepers turn on a dime — okay, a regretful dime, but nevertheless a dime — from Palin to Cain. Therefore, we were completely unsurprised (and pleased) when this Godfather's Pizza parvenu rocketed to the top of the nutty Republican primary polls.

Therefore, dear readers, without further ado, let us share with you this FANTASTIC post from a Freeper named "Pravious" on the latest Cain conundrum. Cue drum roll, please!

"This makes me sick. Just another reason I hate that Palin decided not to run... they’d already thrown everything in the book at her, and nothing stuck (in spite of their childish insistence to the contrary). This crap might stick.

"So... what’s going to happen? Do we need to see each of our candidates destroyed one-by-one... if not by our other candidates, than by a bunch of scum-sucking leftist slime, aided and abetted by the mainstream media? So we’re gonna wake up one day and find no one left standing except the candidate the powers-that-be demand be on our ticket (and you all know who THAT is). Can’t we just wipe the friggin’ slate clean and find ANOTHER half dozen people? Kind of like kicking nitwits off of a jury, and choosing another? NONE of these people are really acceptable. NONE OF THEM. >:-("

Oh, Pravious, we Democratic cats heart you. Our only regret is that you haven't bothered to create an "About" page.

Mr. Multiple Exclamation Points

2011-11-01T20:56:00.001-04:00

By Zamboni

Sigh. We cats guess we have to say something about Free Republic banning Romney supporters from its site.

Not that we're surprised by any of it, or even care — but goodness gracious, the Freepers have given us so much entertainment that it would be rude to ignore their moment in the sun.

So, we checked. The FR comment thread on POLITICO's original news story was 450 and growing. That's pretty respectable, although when the famous quitter from Alaska, um, quit the 2012 race, the thread was much bigger — in fact, the biggest we've ever seen. More than 1,500 rendings of teabagger garments and gnashings of conservative teeth. (Hint: This is where all that subsequent support for "Herb" Cain came from.)

But, we digress. The thread on the Romney ban is, by and large, predictable. Lots of remarks along the lines of, "And this is a problem because....?" A few, but not many, protestations about being labeled anti-Mormon. (Because of course they are.) But the most amusing post was by the site's creator, Jim Robinson.

We've always suspected that Mr. Robinson is a bit unhinged. He tends toward excitability. If you needed more confirmation of that, here's his contribution to today's anti-Romney comment thread:

"'In an e-mail to POLITICO this afternoon, Robinson admitted that the site routinely blocks Romney supporters from posting — and offered no apologies for the practice.' Admitted it? Hell, I've been blasting it for years!! It's been on our home page in one form or another forever. And on our main page for the last couple years...I'm sorry, but those who cannot live with our pro-life, pro-family, pro-gun, pro-limited government positions are more than welcome to vote with their happy feet. NO RINOS!! NO ROMNEY!! NOT ON MY WATCH!! Long live the TEA party rebellion!! Long live our FREE Republic!"

Ah, Republican nuttiness and infighting. Since Mitt Romney still appears to be on track for the Republican nomination, we cats PURR.

But... It Was Just a "Light-Hearted Attempt to Inject Satire Humor Into the Halloween Holiday"!

2011-11-01T16:01:00.000-04:00

By Baxter

If we cats could drive, we'd head over to the Loudon County, Virginia, Republican headquarters and dump our dirty litter boxes on their desks.

They deserve it — but we have the feeling that they're already getting smacked around by their Republican Governor, who's been forced to denounce a fundraising e-mail that the county party sent yesterday with this image. Yep, that's a bullet hole in President Obama's zombie head.

After his big, embarrassing 2010 goof-up over slavery, Bob McDonnell — who no doubt is dreaming of joining his party's national ticket next year — wants no further accusations of insensitivity hurled his way. He was quick to call the Loudon e-mail "shameful and offensive."

It certainly is. However, so is the Loudon GOP's response. It issued another one of those lame "gee, we're sorry if we did anything wrong" non-apology apologies: "We deeply and sincerely apologize to the President and anyone who viewed the image if that was the impression that was left" (emphasis ours).

They just can't help themselves, can they?

Yes, we know the Freepers and their compatriots will squawk and protest that the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived got caricatured and worse by people who didn't like him. The difference is, when we cats say that somebody ought to be shot, we're truly speaking metaphorically because we don't own any guns. The nutcases on the right wing do.