By Hubie and Bertie
Republicans' fortunes haven't been going so well lately. Not only is Benedict Donald down in the polls to Joe Biden, and not only are Americans breaking early-voting records across the country — which, since we know how hard Republicans try to suppress the vote, can't be good for them — but cringe-inducing stuff keeps happening, sometimes within days of each other.
For example, here is embattled GOP Senator Joni Ernst, who sailed to victory in 2014 by portraying herself as a down-home, pig-castrating farm girl, unable to quote the price of soybeans in a Senate debate. "Yeah, certainly..." she fumbled, clearly stuck for an answer.
Bitch tried to weasel her way out of it — but there was no getting around the fact that she didn't know her fat ass from soybeans, while Democrat Theresa Greenfield quoted the price of corn to the penny. This is a career-killing moment, kids — and Ernst is already behind Greenfield by four points.
The other cringeworthy moment came courtesy of Republican Senator David Perdue, who appeared at Donald Trump's hatefest in Georgia yesterday. Never mind the fact that Benedict Donald felt he had to go to Georgia less than three weeks out from Election Day. He should already have it well sewn-up. But he doesn't. Apparently the Republicans are feeling a little stress over that, because Perdue decided to channel his inner George Allen and act like a racist over the pronunciation of Kamala Harris's first name.
As Senator Amy Klobuchar said of Perdue on Twitter, "He knows her name. There are only 100 of us."
As soon as we cats heard about this, we marched straight over to Act Blue and made a contribution to Democratic Senate candidate Jon Ossoff. We'll be interested to hear how much Ossoff raised last night.
You could say that the Republicans are just terribly unlucky these days. On top of Ernst and Perdue, the pandemic is spiking again, Biden beat Trump in the ratings on Thursday night, Ben Sasse's anti-Trump call to donors was outed, the Democrats keep raking in the money, and the nomination of Amy Coathanger Barrett isn't playing as well as the GOP hoped. But it's probably not a question of good fortune. It's just what today's Republican Party is: racist, sexist, clueless, hapless, hating. They're in a lot of trouble, and we cats PURR.
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