Unlike Donald, Numbers Don't Lie

By Miss Kubelik

Another week, another Presidential primary. Yesterday, it was in Pennsylvania, and Benedict Donald continued to underperform. At this point, though, perhaps you'd just want to say the Republican results showed the latest example of a full-blown anti-Trump protest vote.

Yes, Trump won the primary and all of the commonwealth's 16 delegates to the convention. But Nikki Haley, who dropped out of the race more than a month ago, pulled in 157,388 votes* — nearly 17 percent. This was in a closed primary, with no Democratic voters making mischief, so you have to believe something's going on here.

Voting against Benedict Donald has been pretty consistent in GOP-only primaries and caucuses this year, in fact. It was 15 percent against him in Idaho, 18 percent in Oklahoma, almost 20 percent in Tennessee, and a whopping 44 percent in Utah (before Haley withdrew her candidacy). After that, she still pulled 19 percent in Florida, about 25 percent in Connecticut, 22 percent in New York, and now this.

The numbers from Pennsylvania were especially striking because Republicans voted for Haley not just in the Philadelphia suburbs, but also in Cumberland County outside Harrisburg, and the counties of Lancaster, Erie and Berks, all of which are traditionally swingy.

Which means that even with getting 83 percent of the overall vote, Benedict Donald has a real base problem. Political journalism in the US is pretty awful, so don't expect to see a lot of reporters chasing this story. They need their likes and clicks, so they'll always try to prop up Trump as a powerful, competitive candidate. The reality is that he's got a splintered and angry GOP, very little money, deteriorating cognition, and four criminal trials, one of which is underway and already doing damage. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

*Fun fact: Joe Biden won Pennsylvania in the 2020 general election by about 80,000 votes. We cats PURR.

Trump 2024: "Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Years Ago?" (Answer: Yep.)

Happy "Study the Injection of Bleach" anniversary to all who celebrate! Yes, it was at a White House presser four years ago today that Benedict Donald asked the hapless Deborah Birx (aka Scarf Lady, whom we absolutely do not miss) about, um, experiments with light and disinfectants. On the bright side, it resulted in this wonderful parody by comedian Sarah Cooper. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

MAGA No-Shows

By Zamboni

The world is still waiting to find out the real reason why Benedict Donald canceled this weekend's North Carolina rally at the last minute. The claim was that they couldn't land in bad weather — but the nearby airport was not shut down, and the storms didn't roll in until hours later. Was he upset that only about 400 MAGAts had turned out for the show?

That seems plausible, because he's reportedly also unhappy that throngs of Trumpy true believers haven't shown up at the Manhattan courthouse to protest his current criminal trial, either. As The New York Times reports in a very fun article today:

"Over the last week, demonstrators visibly identifying as supporting Mr. Trump — with red hats or clothing, or banners and flags — have never totaled more than a dozen. On most days, the number of people total in the portion of the part designated for protesters for or against Trump has never been more than two or three dozen. They have included tourists, locals coming to gawk, more than a few supporters of Mr. Biden, and proponents of conspiracy theories — including Max Azzarello, the man who...self-immolated on Friday."

It sounds to us that in a nearly full-employment economy, everyone must be too busy working to spend days wearing goofy outfits and waving Trump flags outside court. Or maybe the bloom is off the Donald rose? We cats are wondering when the media are going to really start paying attention to how small a slice of the American pie Trumpism represents. In the meantime, we PURR.

Oh, Say Can You See AOC

By Baxter

Well, of course Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is taking more votes from Benedict Donald than from President Biden. We cats always suspected that, because RFK Jr. is a nutcase. Nuts gravitate to nuts.

But sometimes we get stuff wrong. And we're big enough to admit it.

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was first elected to Congress in 2018, we thought to ourselves, oh, God — she's going to be a pain in the ass. We could not have been more off-base. She's shown herself to be a team player, an excellent questioner in committee, and someone who is uninterested in cutting off her nose to spite her face. Her vote right out of the gate for Nancy Pelosi for Speaker was the first sign, and she's delivered consistently ever since.

She's been vocal in her support of Biden-Harris 2024, and in the House, she votes outside the mainstream only when she knows there's a cushion to do it. So she's not only been an "A" student in the School of Pelosi, she's obviously shining in the School of Hakeem Jeffries as well. In short, she's a grownup who understands the institutional and political boundaries in which she works.

The result is a day like today, when Biden met with AOC, Senator Bernie Sanders and Senator Ed Markey in the Oval Office after an Earth Day event in Virginia — to discuss Gaza, the disaster known as Benjamin Netanyahu, and the anti-Semitism that's boiling up on college campuses. "I learned a long time ago to listen to that lady," Biden said about AOC. A tremendous compliment.

You won't see members like Rashida Tlaib chatting up POTUS in the Oval, and that's okay. Because AOC is an important ambassador to the lefties. Funny, we cats have always thought of ourselves as left, too. The difference between us and the folks we call liberal losers is that we're willing to get 80 percent of what we want instead of insisting on all or nothing. That's an important talent to have in a pluralistic democracy. We cats PURR.

Yeah, We Know This Is A Breach Of House Decorum, And We Don't Care

Is waving little Ukrainian flags worse than showing Hunter Biden dick pics in a committee hearing? Is it worse than bringing a gun onto the House floor? Asking Mike Johnson, because he's ostensibly in charge of these lunatics. We cats PURR.

Stefanik's Shame

By Sniffles

Of all the House Republican leaders, only Elise "Elsie" Stefanik voted against aid to Ukraine today.

Think about that: Mike Johnson, Steve Scalise and Tom Emmer, miscreants all, voted to do the right thing by one of America's most important allies — but Elsie couldn't bring herself to do it. She voted for Israel and Taiwan, but is so fixated on being picked as Benedict Donald's running mate, she was a big "no" for Ukraine and a big "yes" for Vladimir Putin. Disgraceful, particularly since we don't believe for a second that Trump will select her (she's not "his type").

So, our only questions tonight are these: Where are the Bush II folks who served in the White House with Elsie? She was on staff for Smirky's Domestic Policy Council, and later served in the office of Josh Bolten, White House Chief of Staff. Do they have nothing to say about Elsie becoming one of Vlad's best buds? And what about former Bush II Secretary of State and so-called Soviet expert Condoleezza Rice? How does she feel about her erstwhile Bushie colleague?

Their silence is as despicable as Stefanik's votes. We cats HISS.

Holy Smoke!

 

President Biden posted this at 4:20 PM on 4/20. We cats PURR.

For Heaven's Sake, Grab A Sweater, Donald.

By Hubie and Bertie

Poor Benedict Donald. Nothing is going right for him these days. He's in criminal court in Manhattan, being forced to listen to potential (and ultimately excused) jurors rightfully disparage him and saying their loathing of him meant they couldn't be fair. Quite a change from the deluge of sycophancy he's used to at Mar-a-Lago and in other, friendlier environs. And he's cold. The courthouse is "freezing," he whines.

How can he be chilly? His antics both inside and outside the courtroom are landing him in hot water. Judge Merchan smacked him down the other day for muttering at a just-excused juror, and chided him today for checking his smartphone in court. Most important, prosecutors have averred that he's broken his gag order no fewer than seven times since the start of trial, and the judge has scheduled a hearing for next Tuesday on that. Trump could be fined or even hauled off to the hoosegow. Surely if he were anyone else, he'd already be there.

All this misbehavior is making life more difficult for his own attorneys — and consequently, his case. In trials with normal (i.e., non-narcissistic, non-sociopathic) defendants, the defense team is routinely apprised of the names of upcoming witnesses. The prosecutors argued that they can't follow that routine courtesy, because Trump would tweet and intimidate them on his failing social media platform. "I can't fault them for that," Judge Merchan said. So now Trump's lawyers will have to be prepped and ready for every witness, every day, just in case.

Does Benedict Donald care? Of course not. Not only is he contemptuous of everything that makes a human being human, he doesn't understand how he's undermining himself. Why else would he refuse to stand for the jurors like the rest of the court, including his legal team?

"I have never observed a defendant refuse to stand and face the jury," said a former federal prosecutor. "Trump's disrespect for the jury is unwise." We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Follow The Money (And Michigan)

By Miss Kubelik

With everything that's going on, you'd probably be forgiven for not remembering — or even knowing in the first place — that the lower house of the Michigan legislature was tied between Republicans and Democrats since November, when two members left to serve as the mayors of Westland and Warren, their hometowns.

Well, the house is tied no more, because in a special election yesterday, the Democratic candidates won the empty seats. That might not be surprising since the districts are quite blue — but the margins of victory over their Republican opponents were huge: 59 percent to 38 percent in one race, and 65 percent to 34 percent in the other.

Sounds like one more example of Democrats outperforming, with voters getting their butts to the polls for a "special" in the middle of April when there are plenty of other things on people's to-do lists. So we were feeling pretty good about that. And then we saw something that made us feel even better.

Democrats running for the US Senate in 2024 are crushing their Republican opponents in fundraising. Incumbents Jacky Rosen in Nevada, Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin, Bob Casey in Pennsylvania, Jon Tester in Montana and Sherrod Brown in Ohio are all cleaning up. But so are challengers Colin Allred in Texas and Ruben Gallego in Arizona.

This is great news. Each of these states, plus Michigan, is going to be crucial in the fall — and it looks like we Democrats are motivated, giving money, organized, and turning out our vote. Keep it up! We cats PURR.

Lucko Does It Again

There's so much about this Mike Luckovich cartoon that's wonderful, but our favorite thing just has to be the juice box. We cats PURR.