Seat Of Power?

By Hubie and Bertie

In 1945, just back from Yalta and weeks before his death, Franklin D. Roosevelt apologized to Congress for addressing them from a chair instead of standing at a lectern. "I hope you'll pardon me for this unusual posture of sitting down," he said, "but I know that you will realize that it makes it a lot easier for me not to have to carry about 10 pounds of steel at the bottom of my legs."

It was a rare FDR acknowledgement of his polio-induced disability. He and his staff masked it so efficiently — and the press cooperated so thoroughly — that many Americans probably wondered what he meant by the "10 pounds of steel" reference. We can picture them listening to their radios and saying, "Wait, what?"

So, okay, we cats adore Franklin Roosevelt. But we have at least two quibbles with him. The first is the obvious one — the Japanese-American internment camps. The second is his lack of candor with the American people about his health in 1994-45. Although we pretty much understand why he did it, there's no excuse for his having kept VP Harry Truman in the dark about the atomic bomb and more.

Having admitted that, we have to say that the current cloak of silence around Benedict Donald's situation is extraordinary. We are well past a time in which the press would willingly collude with a popular President to come less-than-clean about his health, right? (We're thinking not just of FDR but of JFK.) But Trump isn't even popular now. So what's stopping journalists from demanding answers about Trump's health?

He's disappearing for days (if not a week) at a time. He's making appearances and giving remarks sitting down. He's repeating speeches from one event to another. He's got ewwy punctures on his neck, swollen cheeks, and bruises on his hands — not to mention weird bulges under his suit coats and trousers. WTF is going on?

This is the exact situation that the 25th amendment, enacted in the wake of John F. Kennedy's assassination, was meant to prevent. It guarantees that we will have a functioning President in the event of a current President's death, resignation, removal, or incapacitation. Sadly, the "incapacitation" part requires the Vice President and the Cabinet to take action. Which is not going to happen, right?

The thing about the Constitution is, it's not perfect. We can make it better. That's what amendments are for. So maybe we need an amendment to improve the 25th amendment? We cats PURR.

Benedict Donald Gets Slapped Back Again, Sleeps Through It

 

By Miss Kubelik

Well, actually, we don't know if Trump slept through his most recent smackdowns on Capitol Hill. But if he didn't, he surely will be shitposting about them all night. (Or maybe deciding to bomb Iran?)

Three Republican Senators — Bill Cassidy, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski — voted today with Democrats to keep the odious and utterly inexperienced Bill Pulte from becoming the acting DNI. Then the House passed a new aid package to Ukraine, with 18 (count 'em, 18) GOP members defying Donald.

So much winning! If Biden or Obama or Clinton had this many losses in the space of a week, the media would be hyperventilating. Democratic pearl clutchers would be collapsing on their fainting couches, and the Republicans would be declaring the President dead.

Which is precisely what some tweeters and skeeters were saying when Trump went seven days without a live, in-person appearance — finally showing up yesterday at an Oval Office presser to talk about nonsense. He also made a special effort to insult CNN's Kaitlin Collins. It's inexplicable that nobody in the White House press corps will stand up for the women Trump abuses. We cats HISS.

De Adder Du Jour

 

Benedict Donald sure has been losing a lot lately. The Kennedy Center, the Iran war, the slush fund for terrorists, and the billion-dollar ballroom all seem to be slip-sliding away. And yesterday, his chosen candidate for Iowa governor crashed and burned in the primary. Trump even had to show up in the Oval Office today to take reporters' questions after more than a week of no-shows and rumors he was stroked out or dead. Hm! More on the elections later. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Smullen Doesn't Give A Shake

 

 

 

By Zamboni

There's a nasty (i.e., very fun) fight going on between the Republicans who are vying for Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's Congressional seat in NY-21.

As we posted a little over a month ago, the Trump-endorsed candidate, Anthony Constantino, is giving a whole lot of headaches to the more traditional, state-party-blessed hopeful, Assemblyman Robert Smullen. No love is lost between these two dudes, and when they met in a debate last week, the fur kinda flew.

"Both candidates adhered to the rules of decorum during the debate, confining their statements to their allotted time and requiring little intervention from [the] moderator," Yahoo news reports. "But they continued to attack each other in harsh terms, with Constantino casting Smullen as an unknown 'C-lister' who has failed to adequately support Trump. Smullen countered that Constantino is 'unfit to serve' and noted his campaign had once hired a man accused of murder."

(Note to the file: That last bit is true. We kid you not.)

"The caustic parley that has defined the primary race spilled over when Constantino reached across his podium to offer Smullen a handshake," Yahoo continued. "Smullen ignored Constantino, gathered his belongings, and walked off the television studio set."

Wow. Smullen later explained that he wasn't going to shake hands because Constantino had sent him a mean text. (The text was not nice, but it was also ridiculous.) This gave Constantino another line of attack, and made Smullen look petty — positively Trumpy, in fact.

The snub reminded us of Ann Richards's reaction when her Republican opponent for Texas governor, Clayton Williams, pulled the same stunt on her. It was back in 1990, when Trumpian behavior was still unknown. "Oh, Clayton," she said, "that's bad." Yup. We cats PURR.

Jon Ossoff: Trump Is "A Failed President And A National Disgrace"

 

Got a few minutes (or maybe 30 of them)? You'll want to check out this knockout speech that Senator Jon Ossoff gave in Atlanta yesterday. Let's put it this way: He didn't mince words. This is how you do it!

Lots of folks are talking him up for President in 2028 — but we need to get him re-elected to the Senate first. Click here. We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: We must add this spot-on observation from an account on, believe it or not, Twitter: "Two things I particularly enjoy: 1) His utter contempt for Trump and his ilk is palpable, but it's almost apolitical. It's moral without being preachy. Tough needle to thread. 2) There is a seriousness here that is woefully missing in our politics today." We cats agree 100 percent, and we PURR again.)

Numbers Don't Lie (Les Chiffres Ne Mentent Pas)

 

By Baxter

New data reveal that the Canadian boycott of the United States is still going strong — stronger than previously estimated, in fact.

"While official Statistics Canada figures show a roughly 25 percent decline in Canadian residents returning from the US last year, cellphone data compiled by researchers at the University of Toronto's School of Cities found that the year-over-year drop in cross-border trips was closer to 42 percent," the CBC reports.

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and multiple locations in Florida like Miami and Orlando have been particularly hard hit, despite Canadians' famous tendency to escape south during the winter. And business travel has been affected just as much — all thanks to Benedict Donald, his stupid tariffs, and his ridiculous "51st state" BS.

This is costing the United States nearly $9 billion — so far. (Nice going, Trump.) But our American ambassador in Ottawa just can't understand it. He's particularly miffed about Canada's boycott of US booze.

"We think the alcohol ban is totally unfair," Pete Hoekstra said. "It's a clear indicator of how 11 provinces [and territories] feel about trade with the United States. They're sending a very, very clear message about how doing business with the United States doesn't appeal to them.

"The prime minister has reinforced that message. It creates some questions about whether Canada really wants to do business with the United States."

Wow, he's so close to getting it. What an idiot. We cats HISS.

Girlbosses Rule

Alors, the boys in the NHL couldn't get it done this week — but the girls definitely did. Bien joué!

Montréal had a championship parade today — for the PWHL's Walter Cup-winning Victoire, not the Canadiens. Les Habs? You're young, talented, and have a lot of promise. See you next year. We cats PURR.

Happy Birthday, JFK

By Sniffles

A federal judge has stepped in to halt the Trumpy desecration of The Kennedy Center. Thank goodness.

"US District Judge Christopher Cooper in Washington, DC, ruled that The Kennedy Center board's March 16 vote to close the facility was 'ill-informed and seemingly preordained' with no regard for its legal obligations," the AP reports. "The Administration had announced the work would begin in July and last approximately two years, but Cooper’s ruling halts those plans for now."

To our surprise, Benedict Donald has folded. He said he won't fight the decision, and will give control of the Kennedy Center back to Congress. (As if he ever had the authority to take it away in the first place.) Interesting. There must be something else he needs that he's not talking about, or he's just so cognitively gone that he can't remember what he cares about from one day to the next.

Of course, Judge Cooper is an Obama appointee, so Trump couldn't concede defeat without taking a swipe at that (typing President Obama's middle name in the tweet in all-caps, as you'd expect). The judge ordered Trump's name to be removed from the building and any other materials associated with the venue. Yay!

Coincidentally, today is JFK's 109th birthday. Obviously, like most people he wouldn't have lived to see this day — but it would have been nice if he had had more than the 46 years he spent on this planet. Still, it's a satisfying coincidence. Thanks, Judge Cooper. We cats PURR.

Powerful On The Outside, Fragile On The Inside

By Hubie and Bertie

Just this past Monday night, former Montréal Canadien Claude Lemieux carried the torch into the Bell Centre for Game 3 against the Carolina Hurricanes. More than 20,000 Habs fans cheered him — for his history with the team, and for the current Canadiens (who've made it far into the playoffs when they weren't even expected to play one post-season game). It was a magical moment for Montréalers.

Today, the hockey world learned that Claude Lemieux has died. The four-time Stanley Cup champion apparently committed suicide overnight in a furniture showroom that his family owns in Lake Park, Florida. He was found by one of his sons in a warehouse at around 3 AM.

Now, we cats understand that the current political state of Florida is pretty depressing. So maybe flying back there from a delirious city of Montréal was a bummer. But when you see how composed and, by all accounts, happy Lemieux looked just a few nights ago, this news is truly shocking. He was only 60. He looked fit and as if he had many years ahead of him. And tens of thousands of people had just poured a whole bunch of love onto him. What the heck happened?

We cats can only think: Nothing that we'll understand immediately. And if the Lemieux family doesn't care to share, nothing we'll understand ever, if at all. The bottom line is that we can never know what burdens people are carrying. So if you encounter a person who seems rude, surly, or unpleasant, try to think that maybe that person is suffering something you can't, or maybe shouldn't, comprehend.

Unless it's Donald Trump, of course — or Stephen Miller, or any of the Trumpsters or MAGAts. They deserve no benefit of the doubt, because they have no consciences, and carry no burdens. We cats HISS.

John Cornyn Ass-Snorkels Trump, Gets Beat Anyway

By Miss Kubelik

As Richard Nixon liked to say, let's make one thing perfectly clear: Benedict Donald's endorsement did not make Ken Paxton's Senate runoff victory in Texas possible yesterday. Benedict Donald made the (late) endorsement because he already knew that Paxton was going to win. The MAGA tea leaves were clear, and you know how Trump hates to be associated with losers.

Which means that not only is there a clearer path for Democrat James Talarico to get elected in November, but Texas Republicans just threw away more than two decades of Senate seniority for their state. (The 49 other states in the union say, "Thanks, guys!") And the relationship between the GOP Senate caucus and the White House just got uglier. Get ready for some fun when lawmakers return to DC next week.

It's doubtful that John Cornyn will take advantage of the fact that he's been unleashed. We don't see him going anti-Trump the way Senator Bill Cassidy did after he lost in Louisiana. Most likely — because he's a traditional dude, a near-Senate-Majority Leader, and an institutionalist — he'll remain mostly silent about his humiliation. But we can't say the same for his supporters.

Talarico wisely held out an olive branch to Cornyn voters last night, assuring them that they were welcome in his camp. So it'll be interesting to see what, for example, the Lone Star State's blue-haired Barbara Bush ladies do going forward. Surely they're appalled at their official Senate candidate. Will they close their checkbooks? Probably. Will they even show up to vote? Uncertain. Or will they do the right thing and turn out for the Democratic seminarian in November? To the GOP's consternation, it's possible. We cats PURR.