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IYKYK. We cats PURR.

MAGAts In A Muddle

By Zamboni

Republicans are quickly appropriating the tired old saw, "Democrats in disarray." But do folks in the media realize it? Or are they just unwilling to tell the truth about the GOP because it isn't alliterative?

If Democrats are in disarray, please explain why they were able to resolve a huge mess in Maine in less than two weeks. (Troy Jackson sewed up Graham Platner's former Senate nomination over the weekend, as potential challengers Nirav Shah, Shenna Bellows, Jordan Wood, and Dan Kleban dropped out.)

And if Republicans are not in disarray, how do you excuse what's going on in South Carolina? 

Lindsey Graham suddenly dies on July 11, and Benedict Donald commands the Governor to appoint Graham's sister, an inexperienced, toothless puppet. Less than a week later, Trump instructs her to not just serve as caretaker in the seat but run for a full term. But two already-announced Trump loyalists are refusing to drop their bids. In fact, they may be joined tomorrow (it's filing day) by local luminaries like Mark "Appalachian Trail" Sanford and Lt. Gov. Pamela Evette. 

Right, everything is going to plan here (not).

But it's our party that's the mess? We cats HISS.

Andrew Tate's "Fashion Don't." Trump's "Get The Hook" Moment.

By Baxter

You know it's a pretty okay weekend when these two things happen:

Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Miami yesterday on new charges of rape, sex trafficking, and possession of child pornography. Decent people everywhere are rooting for their extradition to the UK. Meanwhile, social media relentlessly mocked Andrew's attire.

As if that weren't delicious enough, Spain won the World Cup today, denying Donald Trump an opportunity to present the Cup to the country of one of his favorite dictators. Then, "when the US president and Gianni Infantino came on to the field for the presentation after Spain clinched victory, boos rang out around the stadium," The Guardian said. "The White House pool report said that ambient crowd noise, which had been sitting at approximately 78 decibels before their introduction, rose to 84 decibels when Trump entered the field.

"Then, after Trump presented Spain with the World Cup trophy, he attempted to stand with the team at the side of the podium as they celebrated before Infantino quietly ushered him away." We cats PURR.

Tweets We Wish We'd Written

Oh, this is so good. We cats PURR.

Smoke Gets In Our Eyes

By Sniffles

Before we get into tonight's topic, let's just back up one second to observe that wildfires are burning not just in Ontario, but in Michigan, too. The problem is that it's kind of hard to tell Canadian wildfire smoke from American wildfire smoke. But Benedict Donald doesn't care.

"The United States is being unnecessarily invaded by filthy, polluted, and unhealthy air," Trump bleated (when he wasn't indulging in endless whines about the 2020 election — which means we now should mention that NBC, ABC, and CNN declined to air him last night).

Trump has latched on to the wildfires as another excuse to threaten tariffs against our Neighbor to the North. Canadians must be awfully tired of all this. After all, they're dealing with the smoke, too (see above). Let's just say that, if they're drowning their sorrows in their air-conditioned homes, they're not doing it with American spirits and wines — since Trump has given them absolutely no reason to abandon their boycotts of US goods.

Prime Minister Mark Carney, who's been running rings around Benedict Donald recently on trade matters, had a mild but firm response to Washington's bluster. "Climate change is the responsibility of everyone," he said, after drily noting that the US has reduced its investment in clean energy. "Truly everyone — including the United States."

Donald is looking awfully tired and limp these days. During his little-watched "election fraud" speech last night, he sounded raspy and unfocused, as if he'd spent an afternoon breathing in Ontario smoke. People have speculated that his lungs are filling with fluid from CHF. We have no idea, but we're less worried about Trump than about his true-believers who will try to enforce his fascism after he is gone.

It'll take a lot to recover from the damage of Trump 2.0, but it will all start this November. In the words of Joyce White Vance, "Your vote matters. Prepare to do whatever it takes this fall to cast it. Let’s put a stop to the lies once and for all." We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Evan Buhler, Montreal Gazette)

Target: Jon (And You)

By Hubie and Bertie

So Trump is speaking to the nation tomorrow night about — what, exactly? Iran? Greenland? Election security? A "potpourri"? We have no idea. But rumor has it that he's going to "reveal declassified intelligence" on 2020 "election fraud" in Georgia, and call duly elected US Senators Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff "illegitimate."

This will be Trump's newest salvo in his war against the 2026 midterms, which he knows he's going to lose. But it's not going to work, for lots of reasons. One, for us, sticks out.

First, for a little refresher course, let's step back a few years to the resignation of Georgia Senator Johnny Isakson, who stepped down in late 2019 due to health reasons. Governor Brian Kemp then appointed Kelly Loeffler to serve the remainder of Isakson's term. Loeffler was an ineffective doofus who was primarily known for her good hair. (She's head of the SBA now, and is currently stinking up the place with her performance there, too, as you'd expect.)

Anyway, Raphael Warnock beat Loeffler in the special election runoff on January 5, 2021 — the same day that Jon Ossoff beat Georgia's other Senator, David Perdue. That election flipped the Senate to the Democrats. (And we all know what happened on January 6.)

The thing is, though, after that, Warnock ran for a full term in 2022, and he won — so how by any logic could he possibly be "illegitimate"? It also means he won't be up for re-election again until 2028. By our way of thinking, then, Trump's targeting of Warnock and Ossoff is really mostly about Ossoff, who is on the ballot this fall. 

Despite Kellyanne Conway's mocking tweet back in 2017, Trump and the Republicans are scared of Ossoff — big time. And Ossoff's masterful performance during the Jay Clayton/DNI hearing today will only increase their fear (that, and the margin by which Ossoff leads the hapless, election-denying fool Mike Collins in recent polls).

Here's a swell idea that applies to both Georgia Senators: The moment Trump starts speaking tomorrow night, go to Ossoff's site (and Warnock's site) and send each of them a few bucks. Make a statement. Tell Trump you won't let him deny Georgians' votes — and yours. We cats PURR.

Cartography

  

The photo that Benedict Donald shared earlier on social media was AI-generated, and, as you can imagine, ridiculous. We won't repost it here, but it involved a nonexistent meeting in the Oval Office and a silly map. In short, he's back on that annexation train again, which means Jon Ossoff is right: Trump is spiraling. Here's a map that's much more accurate. We cats PURR.

Keep Cool

Benedict Donald is descending into new levels of madness (how scared is he of Warnock and Ossoff?), but you don't have to care. It's too hot, anyway. So put the phone down, fix a cold drink, and put on some music. The news will still be there when you get back. We cats PURR.

Let The Combat Begin

By Miss Kubelik

One thing is certain: There is no shortage of awful people in South Carolina jockeying for Lindsey Graham's Senate seat.

Nancy Mace, surely, has been working the phones since midnight. Others in the mix include Pamela Evette, Nikki Haley, Joe Wilson, Ralph Norman, Russell Fry... the list goes on. All possibilities. All gross.

The good news is that they are so many, because the best outcome would be a knock-'em-sock-'em, dirty-double-crossing cat fight of a special primary that will kick off with filing day, July 21. The primary itself could take place in mid-August. Then we'll see what happens on Election Day, November 3.

Meanwhile, the governor will no doubt appoint a fill-in Senator, who could then also compete in the primary, or just be a caretaker until whoever wins in November takes over. We don't care — as long as the candidates rip each other to shreds over the next few weeks.

One thing we don't want is for Benedict Donald to put his thumb on the scale and clear the field. But even if he does that (and he's threatening to), the Democratic candidate, Dr. Annie Andrews, would be handed an excellent talking point — something like "First, Republicans try to pick their voters by gerrymandering. Now, they're trying to pick South Carolina's possible next Senator. Dictator Donald is denying you a choice." (Team Andrews, please wordsmith it.)

Speaking of Dr. Andrews, today would be an excellent day to send her a campaign contribution. Do it for Lindsey! We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: This Lindsey Laff is being shared on social media and is AI-generated. As for the newspaper... well, IYKYK. We cats PURR.)

Time For Some Serious Bunny Butt

By Zamboni

The "sudden passing" of Lady Lindsey Graham calls for some down-the-rabbit-hole time, folks. Get ready.

For all his (many) faults, Graham was a firm supporter of Ukraine, and often served as the designated hoser-down on Benedict Donald's love for Putin (and contempt for Zelenskyy). In fact, he had just gotten back from Ukraine yesterday — Margaret Brennan of CBS reports that she spoke to him on Friday before he left Kyiv.

"He was excited to share the news that the Trump White House had finally given him the green light for Congress to move his long-sought bill to put significant financial penalties on Russia by punishing buyers of Russian oil," Brennan said. Hmmm... that doesn't sound like something Vlad would like, does it?

Now, check out this tweet by Sir William Browder, author of the Magnitsky Act.

"Not to be a conspiracy theorist," he said, "but Lindsey Graham was the leading driver of the devastating sanctions bill against Russia... he had just returned from Ukraine, where it's not unknown for Russian agents to operate. Russians are expert at administration of poisons that look like heart attacks. All tests should be done immediately to rule out foul play. I've seen enough Russian-related suspicious deaths to know this is the only course of action."

Oh, Bill, do please indulge in conspiracies. We're already awash in them with Mitch McConnell. (And here's the kicker: If Putin decided to off Lindsey, that means Benedict Donald knew. Prove us wrong.)

With Lindsey, as with Mitch, social media is the place to be for ghoulish grins today. MAGA might be appalled, but their behavior is hardly exemplary (see: Trump's tweet on the death of Robert Mueller), and besides, it's so much fun to mock the newly deceased when it's someone like Graham. As the old saying goes, the dead should make it harder for us to speak ill of them. Stay tuned for our comments on the South Carolina Senate race. In the meantime, we cats PURR.