By Hubie and BertieWell, today has been quite the day. The former Prince Andrew, now just plain old Andy Mountbatten-Windsor, celebrated his 66th birthday in the hoosegow after being arrested at the Sandringham Estate for sharing trade secrets with convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.
Did we really just write that? Sandringham is the royal property where the much-admired King George VI died in 1952. But this morning it was crawling with plainclothes cops who were going through Andrew's desk cubbies, dresser drawers, and goodness knows where else. Whew, it's a good thing that Andrew's sister Princess Anne is a patron of the Butler Trust — a charitable organization that supports the humane operations of UK prisons. (Although weirdly, Anne went through with a previously scheduled royal visit today to a prison in Leeds. Awkward!)
Anyone looking for Epstein accountability has to be a little deflated that Andrew's arrest relates not to the rape of children but to absconding, albeit electronically, with confidential governmental stuff — you know, the kind of thing that Benedict Donald excelled at in paper form (see above), and for which he escaped prosecution only because his useful idiot Judge Aileen Cannon threw out Jack Smith's case.
On the other hand, there may be reason to hope. Andrew's arrest seems like a dangerous moment for everyone in the Epstein Class on this side of the Atlantic who has pretty much managed to skate so far — including Trump, who acted today like a guilty person.
First, it gives Democrats a golden opportunity (which, happily, they have seized) to remind Americans that nobody is above the law and that justice should be pursued here as well. Second, it gives a huge bump to the "Let's Keep Epstein In The News" movement, potential military action against Iran be damned. Third, who knows what information Andrew will give up to save his own skin? King Charles made it clear in his chilly statement today that he'll underbuss his brother to save the House of Windsor. So Andy better spill some beans, and quick.
Meanwhile, how things have changed. We cats remember the days when Andrew was a handsome young prince who valiantly jumped out of helicopters in a fun, Thatcher-y war against Argentina. Now he's a washed up, bloated mug shot. Andrew may try to take comfort in the fact that the last kingly sibling to be dragged off to prison was Elizabeth I, who overcame adversity to reign for 44 years. But on the other hand, the last royal to be arrested but not jailed was Charles I, who was beheaded in 1649. Maybe at this point, the third Charles would be grateful for an ax so he can dispatch Brother Andrew himself. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.
