Give Hoekstra The Hook

By Zamboni

Canadian disgust with Donald Trump is still going strong. While Ontario Premier Doug Ford has been hinting that he could restore US alcohol to his province's shelves under certain conditions — spoiler alert, Doug, Canadians still won't buy it — a new front has opened up on the "We Used to Like You but Now We Hate You" war.

More than 171,000 Canadians have signed a petition to toss Trump's odious US ambassador, Pete Hoekstra, from the country. This is a lot when you consider that an online petition only needs 500 signatures to be officially considered by the House of Commons.

Good on you, Canada! Hoekstra has been a particularly disturbing ambassador. Not only has he made careless and insulting comments about US-Canadian relations — supporting Benedict Donald's "51st state" nonsense, for example — he has ties to leaders in the Alberta separatist movement. Why should Canada tolerate a US ambassador who is possibly fomenting the dissolution of their country behind the scenes? The US wouldn't tolerate it. Why should they?

Add to that the fact that Hoekstra is an asshole, and we wholeheartedly endorse this movement — even though it could put Prime Minister Mark Carney in a dicey spot. (We're confident that he could find a clever, Trump-frustrating way to handle it.) Meanwhile, we cats PURR.

Constantino's Behind, Elsie's AWOL

By Baxter

The Congressional campaign of Sticker Mule CEO Anthony Constantino — not to mention the candidate himself — is very unhappy with a recent poll from Survey USA and WNYT Channel 13 that shows Democrat Blake Gendebien four points ahead of Constantino in NY-21.

Wait! Red alert! NY-21 is Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's near-solid-Republican district. The Democrat is ahead? Wow! No wonder the DCCC recently added the district to its strategic "Red to Blue" list for 2026.

Meanwhile, Team Constantino is busy attacking the poll.

"This should be illegal and WNYT13 should be swiftly reprimanded by the FCC to the fullest extent possible,” Constantino tweeted. “This 'story' is a clear violation of journalistic ethics and (an) example of rampant political corruption." Former Stefanik campaign aide Alex deGrasse, now working for Constantino, huffed that the poll was "completely fraudulent" and a "scam." A scam!

Oh, sigh. They're so desperate and dumb. Survey USA is a leans-Republican polling firm — no friend to Democrats. But since Channel 13 is one of the local stations not owned by a right-wing broadcast group, that seems to explain Constantino's bleating about finking them out to the FCC. Even though it's extraordinarily silly.

So, where's Elsie? Why isn't she out campaigning for her party's nominee? Was she a secret Robert Smullen supporter in the primary? Has she lost interest? Will any intrepid reporter even bother to ask her about all this? Yeah, right. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Missed The Solar Eclipse? Here You Go.

We cats witnessed the amazing eclipse in April of 2024, but we still wish we could have seen the one today. Let's PURR anyway.

Carted Away

The whole world is laughing at us, including our friends — that is, when they're not petitioning their government to expel our ambassador. Nice work, Trumpsters. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

How Unpopular Is Donald? Very Unpopular.

By Sniffles

There's a satisfying symmetry in the results of two recent Democratic primaries in the Midwest. In Michigan, Bernie Bro Abdul El-Sayed defeated a so-called "establishment" candidate, Haley Stevens, while in Wisconsin, the "normie" David Crowley beat the progressive-but-non-Bernie-endorsed Francesca Hong. Both races were unexpectedly close, and both ended with Democrats coming together in unity. Nice!

Meanwhile, in Trump World, things aren't going so hot. Donald-endorsed candidates Andy Ogles (Tennessee), Amir Hassan (Michigan), and Mike "MyPillow" Lindell (Minnesota) all got beat in their respective races — with Lindell refusing to concede, which is great. Darline Graham Nordone in South Carolina fell well short of avoiding a runoff. She has to face bonkers Rep. Ralph Norman on August 25.

These were GOP primaries, so it's interesting that Benedict Donald's blessing didn't help candidates coast to victory. And the Republicans who did win will come up against strong headwinds in November, headed by Trump's simply terrible poll numbers. Check out the latest results from The Economist, whose tracker lands him at minus-27 net approval.

Trump has a positive rating in only three states: West Virginia, Wyoming, and Idaho (see above).

But what really worries Republicans is Trump's underwater approval in states that have key House, Senate and gubernatorial races this year: states like Maine, where's he's minus-31, Minnesota (-42), Michigan (-27), Georgia (-31), Wisconsin (-28), Iowa (-24), Texas (-22), Arizona (-23), Alaska (-18), and Nevada (-27). We cats are proud to note that here in New York, Trump is down by minus-36. 

How bad is it for them? Well, there's about 12 weeks left until Election Day. For Trump to pull even in Iowa, for instance, he'd have to move up two points per week, every week. He'd have to improve three points a week to be even in New York. He'd have to move 1.5 points each week to catch up in Alaska. Ain't gonna happen. Somebody get Mike Johnson and John Thune some smelling salts. We cats PURR.

Iran Marks Its Calendar For 2029

 (IMAGE: Theo Moudakis, The Toronto Star)

Sending Good Thoughts

We cats PURR.

That Long National Nightmare

By Hubie and Bertie

We cats have been around for a while, which means that we vividly remember August 9, 1974, when Richard Nixon resigned the Presidency, gave that weird malignant-narcissist speech, and left the White House — after which Gerald Ford was sworn in as President. What a day.

Sadly, it must be pointed out that the thing that did Nixon in was his comment on the White House tapes about telling the CIA to keep the FBI from investigating Watergate. "Don't go any further into this case, period!" That smoking gun alone was able to torch Nixon's presidency — as it should have. It was clear obstruction of justice.

Now, 52 years later, we have a Watergate-and-beyond Trump scandal every single day. And nothing happens. The Trumpsters are very good at "flooding the zone" with a firehose of outrages. But if the Democrats take control of the House and/or the Senate — which is growing increasingly likely — there will be some hell to pay.

There has to be, actually. Back in 1974, Republicans had enough respect for the Constitution to march down to the White House and tell Nixon his goose was cooked. Today's Republicans wouldn't even bother. Which means that Barry Goldwater, John Rhodes, and Hugh Scott are all spinning in their graves. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Cracking Up

By Miss Kubelik

On top of all their other troubles, the Republicans' Senate contenders are suffering from the Bad Candidate-Bad Campaign Syndrome.

We already know that Mike Collins in Georgia and Michael Whatley in North Carolina are — because they're both getting their asses whooped in the polls by Jon Ossoff and Roy Cooper. (And they're getting wiped out by the Democrats money-raising-wise, too.) And certainly Ken Paxton, the most toxic and corrupt candidate the GOP could have ever nominated in Texas, has been driving Republicans to drink as he vacations in London with his mistress and stonewalls questions about his 15 zillion-dollar properties. (Man of the people, that.)

Aside from those guys, you could credibly add to the list Ashley Moody of Florida, Dan Sullivan of Alaska, and Ohio's Jon Husted. All have been running lackluster efforts, or have been surprised at the strength of their Democratic opponent, or both. In the case of Darline Graham Nordone in South Carolina, her late entry and name change are weird, and polls show she's not a lock for the GOP nomination in next Tuesday's primary. Nebraska's Pete Ricketts has his own problems, running against an Independent, Dan Osborn (Democrat Cindy Burbank dropped out of the race to give Osborn a clear shot).

So, yeah, not a good situation for them. And on the House side? Check out what district the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee just added to its "In Play" list: Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's own NY-21! The DCCC thinks that the bombastic and repugnant Anthony Constantino is volatile and silly enough to give a thoughtful listener like dairy farmer Blake Gendenbien a chance. We cats agree, and we PURR.

Kiss And Make Up

By Zamboni

Republicans must be so disappointed about the speed at which Democrats coalesced around their candidates in Michigan today. The winner in yesterday's Senate primary would not have been our first choice, but although Haley Stevens ended up making it a race, it was probably better for the sake of the party that Abdul El-Sayed pulled it out. As we learned to our dismay in 2016 and 2024, Bernie Bros (and Broettes) are not dependable in a general election.

Meanwhile, the so-called Democratic "establishment" prevailed in other races. US Rep. Wesley Bell beat former Rep. Cori Bush (again) in Missouri's first Congressional District. It wasn't close: 70.7 percent to 25.8 percent. Shannon Taylor won in Virginia's first CD with 53 percent of the vote, while former Rep. Elaine Luria waltzed to victory in the second CD with 80 percent. And Rep. Don Beyer defeated Mo Seifeldein in VA-08. We are noting these wins even if the media don't.

Back in Michigan, Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson romped to victory in the Democratic gubernatorial primary with 84.6 percent of the vote. She will headline a party unity event on Friday in Detroit, with El-Sayed, Stevens, Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Mallory McMorrow, and special guest and famous Michigan resident Pete Buttigieg (above). We cats are looking forward to it, and we PURR.