Benedict McCain

By Sniffles

For all the kerfuffling over Sarah Palin's latest interview, we cats can't say we really care. Everything that comes out of the woman's mouth is just such flapdoodle. And besides, she's the Republicans' problem, not ours, which makes us very happy — because oh, what a problem she is. (Sorry, Mitt, Mike, Newt, Tim, Bobby, Haley and ya'll.)

But we will say one thing, and then we'll be done with it.

John McCain committed an act of near-treason by nominating a patently unqualified person to be his Vice President. And we'd say that even if he weren't a 72-year-old cancer survivor.

You're Right, Sarah — Caroline Has Class, and You Don't

"I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled [by the media] and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope also. It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her [Senate] candidacy may be.”

—Sarah Palin, in an interview for a conservative documentary called "How Obama Got Elected"

Those Were the Days, My Friends

By Zamboni

Speaking of Jeb Bush not running for the Senate: The wackos on the Christian Right are making us smile like Cheshire cats.

They so want to remind us how the Republican Party began its second-Bush-term self-immolation with its hysterical intervention in the Terri Schiavo affair back in 2005.

How are they doing it? By trying to stir up right-wing umbrage over President-elect Obama's appointment of Thomas J. Perrelli to the number-three job at Justice. You see, lawyer Perrelli advised Michael Schiavo's successful bid to remove the feeding tube of his wife, who was being kept alive in a persistent vegetative state.

Nonsensically connecting the Schiavo case to a woman's right to choose, the Christian Coalition calls President-elect Obama's sub-Cabinet nominee "Piranha Perrelli" and laments their failure to prevent him and "his fellow pro-abortion henchmen from killing this innocent Florida woman."

Hm. We cats don't get the "piranha" nickname. But we sure are happy that the right-wing nutbags are resurrrecting the Schiavo nightmare. Although we're sorry that Michael Schiavo has to put up with his name being in the news again, we recall that nearly 80 percent of the American people opposed the Republicans' interference in his and his wife's private lives.

In the words of former Republican Senator Chuck Hagel: "Was [the Schiavo bill] a mistake? Yes. I think most Americans agree. There are things the government should stay out of — and that was one of them."

So have at it, you wonderful, nutty Christians, you. Keep dragging the Republican Party down as you yank it further to the right. We PURR at you for your utter, but useful, silliness.

Restore America: Give Bush the You-Know-What

By Baxter

We cats never regret being cats. Sure, we don't run a big corporation or know how to do long division or anything like that — but one does not ever rue one's existence as a Superior Being.

However, just now we kind of wish we had hands instead of paws. Because if we did, we could join the "Finger Salute to Bush" movement.

Here's the idea: On Inauguration Day, after President Obama is sworn in and George W. Bush's helicopter leaves the South Lawn of the White House for the last time, millions of Americans will stand up joyfully and say goodbye in the best way they know how.

By flipping him the bird.

Gosh, does anyone deserve it more than Bush? (Okay, maybe Cheney.) But aside from a certain sense of gleeful satisfaction it would give, a collective "up yours" to The Worst Person Who Ever Lived could do more than anything to effectively counter the misinformation of Bush's recent, tone-deaf "legacy tour." You know, the one in which the nation's problems were everyone's fault but his?

That's right, America. Tell Bush what you think of the destruction of our civil liberties, the political hijacking of the Justice Department, the waging of unnecessary war, the drowning of New Orleans, the escape of Osama bin Laden, and the destruction of our economy. If you can't get a group together to finger-salute for the cameras (MSM or otherwise), just do it in the privacy of your living rooms.

We cats will watch you with appreciation and envy. And maybe wave our little paws in the air, to celebrate the Age of Obama.

Cave, Harry

By Sniffles

We cats don't believe in slinging gratuitous mud, particularly at fellow Democrats. But we have to confess that we're not exactly wild about Harry.

We won't go into all the reasons, but the Roland Burris conundrum just crystallizes it for us. Majority Leader Reid hasn't shown much leadership on this silly situation.

Yes, we know it's crazy, and yes, we know that everyone involved has behaved pretty badly. But face it, Harry. You've been outfoxed by the Governor with the weird hair. So please just accept Roland Burris and focus on the Senate seat that really matters: Minnesota.

Bushes: Selfish to the End

By Zamboni

In a world that has seen hockey played at Wrigley Field in January, it's comforting to know that some things never change.

Yep, the Bushes still believe it's All About Them.

Latest case in point: After weeks and weeks of speculation, Jeb Bush has finally decided he won't run for Mel Martinez's Florida Senate seat.

Now, we cats don't mind Jebbie's dithering a bit. But we hate to think about all the nasty words that other Florida Republicans had for their former Governor after he effectively froze the race for two crucial months. That was precious time other GOP hopefuls could have used to organize and fundraise. Now, George W.'s baby brother has thrown them all into a frustrated tizzy.

What a shame. But that's what happens when you have to indulge the whims of someone with a Bushian sense of entitlement.

Despite Jebbie's obvious feeling that the world owes him, we cats suspect that he decided he just couldn't survive a Senate race. But not because his name is Bush. We can think of too many other reasons — like his wife, the customs criminal who doesn't speak English. His wayward children. His disenfranchisement of African-American voters in 2000. His long string of shady business dealings. And, of course, the ghost of Terri Schiavo.

Waah!

“As of today not every valid vote has been counted and some have been counted twice.” —Former Senator Norm Coleman, January 6, 2009

"I have great confidence in the Minnesota system." —Former Senator Norm Coleman, November 5, 2008

Franken Wins! Let the Drumbeat Begin...

By Baxter

The Minnesota Canvassing Board has certified the results of the 2008 Senate race. But the state itself cannot certify a winner until any and all legal challenges are resolved.

Which means Minnesota only has one Senator right now. Because although Al Franken is ahead by 225 votes, Norm "Let the Healing Process Begin" Coleman says he'll contest the election. So we all have to do a Tinkerbell and clap our hands. We need a chorus of voices to tell Normie to DROP THE HECK OUT.

After all, here's what Norm Coleman himself said, on the day after Election Day:

"I have great confidence in the Minnesota system. I have confidence whether I would have won or lost. I've run a lot of races. I've never questioned the way in which our election system works... I think we take pride in the system we have in the state, and I don't believe there'd be any reason for there to be an exception in yesterday's race."

We have confidence in the Minnesota system, too, former Senator Coleman. HISS!

(Photo: Carlos Gonzalez, Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

A "Blair" for Bad Manners

By Sniffles

Leaving Chicago, and asked whether he was excited to be moving to D.C. at last, President-elect Obama told The Washington Post, "Yeah, although living in a hotel for two weeks, we kind of did that for two years."

Lest his comment seem ungracious — the Obamas are staying at the prestigious Hay-Adams until they can move into the White House — allow us cats to say that we're glad the President-elect took this little shot. The Bushes deserve it, for they are the ones showing bad manners and a lack of hospitality.

Now, in terms of importance, we realize that this issue doesn't rank with the economy, loose nukes or the Gaza Strip. But if we had had eyebrows instead of whiskers, we would have raised them when the Bush Administration refused the Obamas' request to stay at Blair House until the Inauguration. Apparently the traditional home for incoming heads of state is booked by the outgoing Republicans "for various events."

What they mean is, they're having parties there.

Heck, we cats understand Blair House parties. We even attended one during a previous outgoing Administration. But back then, the incoming President's children were adults and did not need to start school today.

Therefore, we HISS at the Bushies for this. On top of all the damage they've done in eight long years, it's just one more thing, isn't it?

What About That "Healing Process," Norm?

By Zamboni

Creepy Norm Coleman sure was eager to close the books on the Minnesota Senate race when he was in the lead.

Now, not so much.

Two months ago, the incumbent Republican was quick not just to declare victory but also to demand that Democratic Farmer Labor Party challenger Al Franken waive his right to a recount. Counting the votes again, Mr. Coleman averred, would cost too much, and certainly wouldn't change the outcome of a race he then led by a margin of 438. "I just think the need for the healing process is so important," he burbled.

How things have changed.

One recount later, Al Franken leads by 49, Coleman is considering filing a legal challenge, and Senate Republicans are whining that they'll filibuster any Democratic effort to seat Franken if he's certified the winner this week. Meanwhile, Normie could lose his Senate privileges when his term officially expires — something we cats devoutly hope comes to pass.

Ahhh, Republicans. Their sense of entitlement knows no bounds. First they call on Franken to essentially concede before all the votes are counted — and now they're pitching a fit if the Democratic majority in the Senate tries to welcome a certified winner to their ranks.

"The height of arrogrance," Texas Republican John Cornyn sniffed. We cats suggest that Senator Cornyn and his GOP pals look in the mirror when they say stuff like that.

UPDATE: The recount is finished, and Franken leads by 225. It's time for Coleman to concede so that the healing process can begin.

(Image: www.ragtimepiano.ca)