Every Little Breeze Seems To Whisper Louise

By Zamboni

If you're looking for something to propose in response to Benedict Donald's ridiculous Third Reich-y Washington "arch," folks on social media have the perfect solution: a towering monument to State Senator Louise Lucas, who championed the redistricting referendum that Virginia voters passed yesterday.

Republicans, who kicked off all this redistricting nonsense with their power grab in Texas (a question which, by the way, they never put directly to the voters), immediately asked the Tazewell County circuit court to pause certification of the amendment, which was granted. 

But they're just delaying the inevitable. "Republicans have repeatedly taken challenges to the Virginia referendum to a local judge in the most conservative part of the state to get silly rulings that are immediately overturned on appeal," Democratic Rep. Don Beyer said. "The Virginia Supreme Court will have the last say on the referendum."

Benedict Donald must see the writing on the wall, because he's bleating about "RIGGED" elections again. What a pathetic, projecting loser. "What started in Texas didn’t stay in Texas, and what started here will not stay here either," Senator Lucas said. "Virginia sent a message: If you try to rig the system, we fight back. If you try to take powers from voters, we will take it right back." Can someone please get started on that Lucas statue? Meanwhile, we cats salute her, and we PURR.

Nightmare In NY-21

 

By Baxter

Every time we're even vaguely tempted to feel sorry for Republicans yoked to the antics of Benedict Donald, we instantly remind ourselves that they made their bed, and they must lie in it. (See above.)

They passed up so many off-ramp opportunities in the last 10 years. And now, things are much worse for them. Trump 2.0 is way more erratic and weird. MAGA is furious about the Epstein files, the war in Iran, and gas and food prices. Impeachment and the 25th amendment are openly discussed. And Donald just made the GOP's upcoming midterm massacre even bloodier — at least in our neck of the woods.

"President Donald Trump endorsed the CEO of a sticker company to fill outgoing Rep. Elise Stefanik's House seat," POLITICO reports, "[announcing] over social media Tuesday that he's backing Republican Anthony Constantino over Assemblyman Robert Smullen, the preferred nominee of the New York GOP and the state Conservative Party."

Constantino is a nutcase, and Smullen is pretty awful, too. With Trump's interference, what was already promising to be a fun Republican-on-Republican cat fight for Elsie's seat just got more delicious. And what a huge middle finger to GOP state party chair Ed (Tricia Nixon) Cox and the hapless county chairs in the district who had confidently endorsed Smullen before Sticker Mule Man jumped into the race.

As for Elsie, she's on her silly book tour, and no doubt will try to dodge questions. But Trump has just put her in another awkward position. Can she really stay silent? Reporters should hound her mercilessly.

Here's the best part: Smullen is guaranteed to be on the November ballot, on the Conservative Party line. If Constantino wins the Republican primary in June, we don't see how Democrat Blake Gendebien loses a three-way race. We cats PURR.

Happy Queen Elizabeth Centenary To All Who Celebrate!

 

April 21, 1926—September 8, 2022

Labor Pains

By Sniffles

If you've ever had a bad boss, you can imagine how relieved staffers at the Department of Labor must feel tonight.

Because Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer is out. Like Attorney General Pam Bondi before her, she is allegedly "returning to the private sector." Wherever she (God forbid) lands, you can only imagine she'll continue to terrorize employees with her boozing, her absences, her inappropriate requests, her misuse of financial and other resources, her affairs, and her handsy husband. Ugh. (And gee, drinking on the job. Can Kash Patel's defenestration be far behind?)

Although Chavez-DeRemer was really the only non-100-percent-MAGA person in the Cabinet — some in organized labor, like the Teamsters and the Transport Workers, supported her nomination — we cats agree with House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries: The Republicans who keep voting to confirm clowns like her are just as much to blame for this screwy Cabinet as anyone. And sadly, they'll probably vote for whatever worse clown Benedict Donald picks to take her place.

Meanwhile, we'll keep playing the "What If Biden Did This?" game. Can you imagine if Joe, or any Democratic President, had lost so many senior people to scandal in his first 16 months in office? The media would have a feeding frenzy. But with Trump, a new and different outrage will keep us all spinning on the hamster wheel by tomorrow. Besides, the White House press corps is about to honor Trump at their upcoming silly dinner, so they're not about to hold him to account. (Of all the years to boycott the WHCD, this is the year to boycott it the most.) We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Now-former Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer blows out candles at an office birthday party that she said under oath had never taken place. Whoops.)

The Wheels On The GOP Bus Are Coming Off

Please allow this lovely video to brighten your Sunday.

Meanwhile, the special elections roll on. Tuesday, Virginians will go to the polls to vote on redrawing their Congressional districts for the 2026 midterms. This fight wouldn't be happening if the Texas GOP hadn't started it, so if Republicans end up with just one Representative from the Old Dominion, they'll have only themselves to blame.

Are you a voter in Virginia? To check the status of your registration and for information on polling place locations, click here.

Magyar Deep-Sixes MAGA

By Hubie and Bertie

Another lopsided victory for Democrats in a special election last night: Analilia Mejia won Governor Mikie Sherrill's former seat in NJ-11 by 60-40. We can quibble later about whether Mejia would have been our first choice in the primary. The more important point is that she outperformed our 2024 margin in that district by five points, and bested Kamala Harris's Presidential margin there by 12 points.

People are motivated, and they keep voting in outsize numbers. This is what we need for November.

That point was proved by the election in Hungary last weekend. So many pundits and prognosticators said that Victor Orbán would never have to worry about relinquishing power because of how deeply he had gerrymandered the country, and taken over the media and the courts. But Péter Magyar's Tisza party's margin of victory was so enormous, there was no disputing it. Orbán caved. MAGA is sad.

(True to form, Benedict Donald promptly put his good buddy Orbán firmly in the rear-view mirror, because, you know, Orbán's a loser, and everything with Trump is transactional. Plus it's so convenient to just let JD Vance absorb the humiliation, right?)

Maybe the best thing about Magyar's huge win — aside from cutting off Hungary's version of CPAC from any further funding — is his speedy vow to shut down Orbán's version of Fox News/One America/Newsmax. Magyar called it "a factory of lies" and promised to create a "real, independent public broadcaster, one where the opposition finally has a voice too." As the saying goes, this is how you do it. Democrats, we hope you're taking notes, because the poll numbers for both the House and Senate this November are looking good. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Getty Images)

"Treason Worship Shouldn't Be Tax-Deductible"

By Miss Kubelik

Let's all just sidestep the repulsive news about Eric Swalwell, Benedict Donald's continued weird Jesus meltdown, and the deliciousness of JD Vance's sparsely attended rally in Athens, Georgia, to celebrate recent developments in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Governor Abigail Spanberger has been impressive in her first 100 days — giving the Democratic response to Trump's silly State of the Union, signing a flurry of executive orders in support of housing, healthcare, and education, and backing legislation to enshrine reproductive rights in the state constitution. Now she's signed a bill that ends tax breaks for groups aligned with the former Confederacy. Only 161 years after Lee's surrender at Appomattox, but heck, we'll take it!

The affected organizations include the United Daughters of the Confederacy's Virginia division and the Confederate Memorial Literary Society, and for the life of us we have no idea why they didn't pay state property taxes in the first place.

"And oh, the horror," humorist and Substack star John Fugelsang wrote. "Somewhere, a bunch of genteel Lost Cause enthusiasts are clutching pearls —and wallets: 'If our Confederate organizations now have to pay property taxes, how will we continue honoring our ancestors who fought to keep other people as property?'"

Yes, the South lost the war but won the peace, thanks to the federal abandonment of Reconstruction, a hundred years of Jim Crow, and romantic literary and Hollywood treatments that whitewashed America's original sin right out of our collective consciousness. But there's no reason that taxpayers of the Old Dominion need to support Confederate monuments and mythologies. We cats PURR.

Time To Take The Keys Away

"This is not the behavior of a stable, healthy leader. Pope Leo, for his part, said he has no fear of the Administration and will continue to preach the messages of the Gospel. The rest of us, however, should be very worried about a Commander in Chief who is trying to govern the country between social-media binges, who attacks religious leaders in narcissistic frenzy, and who imagines himself as a deity. If an elderly parent did such things, most people would be concerned. The President doing such things is far more alarming.

"The American people must not look away, as they have done so often in the past. They must pay attention to the President’s deterioration, and insist that the House and Senate start acting like functioning branches of the government by asking the White House to explain what is happening, without insults or evasions, before the eyes of the country and the world."

—Tom Nichols, The Atlantic

How The Veep Sweeps Matter

By Zamboni

Eighty-one years ago today, Franklin D. Roosevelt died in Warm Springs, Georgia — stunning a world that had no idea how sick he really was. Most stunned of all was probably his Vice President, Harry S. Truman, who had been picked as a running mate only the year before. FDR probably didn't handle the Truman selection as gracefully as he could have, but it soon became clear that he'd made the right choice.

Some Presidents select their running mates wisely. (Walter Mondale is a case in point.) Others make really stupid choices — and then humiliate them in a million ways. Which brings us to the subject of JD Vance.

Vance has just suffered not one but two major embarrassments in less than week. He was dispatched to "negotiate" with Iran over the Strait of Hormuz, and he was sent to Hungary to campaign for the despicable strongman Victor Orbán. Iran rolled us in the first instance (and we're all about to pay more at the pump because of it) — and Hungary just overwhelmingly handed Orbán his walking papers. Orbán quickly conceded today's election, but surely only because the margin of victory for his opponent was so wide, he had no other choice.

There are two lessons for us here: One, the best way to defeat a fascist is to do it so resoundingly that he can't possibly claim fraud. Two, the person you pick to step in if you: 1) go under anesthesia, 2) unexpectedly suffer a cerebral hemorrhage at the Little White House, or 3) keel over in the golden-gewgawed Oval Office from too many Double Whoppers, really matters. We cats salute Harry Truman, and dump our dirty litter boxes over JD Vance's head. And we PURR.

Artemis Perfect

 "We went out to dinner and listened to re-entry in the car. Everything has been so shitty and nothing has been good, we really needed this win. So glad everything worked out. Welcome home."

Liberal Love-In

By Baxter

The Canadian Liberal Party is meeting this week in Montreal, and will wrap up tomorrow with an address by Prime Minister Mark Carney at 2 PM. No, we cats aren't there (yet), but we agree with former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that for first-time convention attendees, to be able to meet in Montreal is something special.

A year ago, we cats would never have thought we'd write this, but the Liberals are riding high. They not only have historically positive approval ratings, they're also on the brink of a majority, thanks to a few by-elections that are scheduled for April 13. (Merci, Donald!)

Two elections are in reliably Liberal ridings, and the third is in Terrebonne, outside of Montreal, which the Liberals won last time by — literally — one vote. That result was tossed by the courts, and the re-vote is Monday. But because of the recent floor-crossings, Mark Carney doesn't need Terrebonne to get a majority.

Carney has been wily and smart, keeping his caucus together and wooing newcomers, inviting them to join his "big tent." This is all very impressive for an international banker who wasn't exactly known as a savvy politician before 2025. But as he is with the French language, Carney is a quick study. We cats admit it: We're star-struck.

Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, meanwhile, is in a bad place. How many more defections can he survive before his party demands he resign? We're already seeing calls for him to step down, because his brand of "Maple MAGA" is just not playing well in Canada. And why should it? PP is incapable of surveying the landscape and pivoting to address the reality — all he knows are the talking points that Benedict Donald provides him, and they don't translate well. C'est comme ça que ça devrait être. We cats PURR.

Is The Other Stiletto Heel About To Drop?

By Sniffles

Remember that scene in All the President's Men where the Nixon spokesperson pre-emptively denies that the White House had anything to do with the Watergate break-in? To Woodward and Bernstein (or rather, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman), that was an intriguing tell.

The same kind of thing happened today. Moose & Squirrel made a speech in which she gratuitously brought up Jeffrey Epstein and declared, "I never been friends with Epstein." (Yes, that's a real quote from a woman who allegedly got an Einstein visa to enter the US and who is supposed to be fluent in multiple languages. PS: She also doesn't know how to say the word "trivial.")

Everyone is mystified. Why now? Tweeters and skeeters used to joke that the Iran war was launched as a distraction from Epstein. Was Epstein now being used as a distraction from the Iran war?

That wouldn't be surprising, since the consensus is that Benedict Donald got seriously rolled by the Iranians after he threatened to blow them up. He TACOed, of course — but it's no laughing matter. Here's how Obama deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes sums it up:

"In the best-case scenario, Trump struck a deal to reopen a Strait that was open before the pointless war he started, with the IRGC demonstrating its control over the Strait and potentially extracting fees plus sanctions relief. Thousands of innocents —including hundreds of children — dead in Lebanon and Iran for no reason. US troops killed and wounded. US embassies and bases in the Middle East badly damaged. US standing in the world obliterated. US munitions badly depleted.

"Hundreds of billions spent. Prices up everywhere. More global economic fallout to come. Putin strengthened and enriched. Just a catastrophic situation even in the best of circumstances. A profoundly shameful episode in American history no matter what happens next."

The other prevailing theory about Moose & Squirrel is that something is about to explode from the Epstein files, and she was trying to get ahead of it. People, some of them goofballs, speculated if Russia, Iran, or Israel were involved. But we cats have another theory.

Maybe it's Denmark. After all, Trump has started bleating about Greenland again. Wouldn't that be delicious? We cats PURR.

Leo Can't Go Home Again

By Hubie and Bertie

Here's where the first American pope will spend the Fourth of July: Lampedusa, the southernmost island off Sicily, and the historical entry point for African refugees into Italy. It's also known for its pristine beaches, delicious cuisine, and Sea Turtle Recovery Center. Sounds fabulous — but surely Leo will use his visit to stress the importance of welcoming the refugee (or, as Jesus put it, the stranger).

This is where he's going instead of accepting the Trumpsters' invitation to celebrate Independence Day in a broiling-hot Washington, DC filled with Hitlerian Trump monuments. Can you blame him? Especially after what apparently happened at the Pentagon this past January.

Reports abound that a Defense Department under-secretary named Elbridge Colby summoned Cardinal Christophe Pierre, who at the time was the Vatican's ambassador to the US, and told him, "America has the military power to do whatever it wants in the world. The Catholic Church had better take its side." Rumor has it the Avignon Papacy was pointedly mentioned. The Cardinal was, um, not pleased.

And, it seems, neither was Leo. Not only has the Vatican permanently shelved any possible trip to the US for him in 2026, it's broadly hinting that the Pope may never come here at all — at least, not as long as this Administration is in charge. That must be disappointing for Benedict Donald, who loves to cozy up to famous folks who have golden gewgaws in their homes. Proximity to such people gives him validation.

Interestingly, Leo hasn't backed off his criticism of the Trumpsters one bit, and in fact has doubled down. So whatever the goal of this silly January meeting was, it looks like it backfired big-time.

Sadly, Americans who were hoping to see Il Papa toss out the first pitch for the Chicago White Sox this summer are out of luck. But we hope Leo enjoys some scuba diving and fresh seafood and couscous on Lampedusa instead. He deserves it. We cats PURR.

Here's Another Statement We Liked Today

 

Jason Carter, Chairman of the Board of Trustees, The Carter Center

The Bat Man Speaks, Trump TACOs

By Miss Kubelik

Pope Leo may not have taken off after Benedict Donald with a baseball bat today, but when he spoke out against Trump's Iran threats, he might as well have. Leo knocked it out of the park, and as we all now know, Trump caved. Sadly, the farce will start all over again in two weeks.

This is why we try our damndest to limit our exposure to Donald Trump. He's simply not healthy for children and other living things.

We saw a lot of talk on the interwebs today about Congress. Leo himself actually suggested that Americans call their members and Senators to get them to do something. (Did the Capitol switchboard crash? You can only wonder.) We cats mostly lurked on the social platforms, but whenever we got the chance, we reminded tweeters and skeeters that Republicans are in charge of the House and Senate, not us. In Trump's first term, when we had control of the House, we impeached the motherfucker not once but twice. It was Republicans who refused to convict. Which would have prevented him running again.

Meanwhile, we're wondering if Trump's "civilization will die tonight" tweet will have any effect on today's special election in GA-14. The former Congresswoman from that district, Marjorie Taylor Greene, published an absolutely scathing anti-Trump, anti-Iran-war post yesterday. Will that have any effect on the margin? Shawn Harris won't win — but could he come close, and put another scare into the GOP? (Right now, Harris is only three percentage points behind with 40 percent of the vote in.) That would make us cats PURR.

(UPDATE, April 8: Looks like Republican Clay Fuller ended up beating Shawn Harris by 11 points. Less than two years ago, MTG won re-election by 30 points. We hope Harris is willing to run again in November — it'll be fun to make Republicans spend money in a district they should be able to completely take for granted. We cats PURR.)

"Not What They're Paid For"

 A contemplative Randy Rainbow turns in one of his best. We cats PURR.

Time For This Again

"It's really difficult to cover [Trump] in a way that conveys how unhinged he is. That's kind of how people are trained to do political journalism. It's like, OK, what did he say that was newsworthy, what's new? So you kind of pick up those things and convey them to your audience. But in reality, when you actually watch his rallies, you see that they're full of hatred, he's lying constantly, and a lot of it is incoherent.

"It's true that he talks to the press a lot. But he doesn't really convey meaningful information."

—Aaron Rupar, in The Times

"Dignity, Always Dignity"

By Zamboni

This uplifting Easter message from Benedict Donald was not the last word from him today. He was seen later at his golf club in Virginia, not exactly looking chipper — but apparently the White House felt they had to produce him in some fashion because of all the Walter Reed rumors flying around. And now he's allegedly going to have a press conference on Monday at 1 PM.

Maybe he'll clear up why he keeps shifting his so-called "deadline" for Iran to open the Strait of Hormuz, but that's doubtful, isn't it? (Besides, don't we already kinda know it's all about manipulating the markets?)

It's easy to forget, what with all the (deliberate) chaos, that Trump has delayed that deadline at least five times. And who knows what he's going to say tomorrow? Is he going to give another meaningless Iran ultimatum, or will he announce who won the sweepstakes to be the next Attorney General? Or is the presser just to prove to the world that he's still alive? All we know is, reporters better ask good questions. (Sadly, they probably won't.)

This is all a handy reminder that the Republicans control both houses of Congress, and they could stop this madness any time they wanted to. We cats are disgusted, and we HISS.

Where No One Has Gone Before

 

We cats agree. The best thing about Artemis is that it's NASA, not Musk or Bezos, who can go fuck themselves. We cats PURR.

The Grey Lady Goofs

By Baxter

We cats have often noticed that headline writers have their heads up their ass. But it usually applies to local publications like the Albany Times-Union, not the vaunted paper of record, The New York Times. Well, we guess there's a first time for everything. (Unless, OMG, this isn't the first time.)

Readers across our nation are left to wonder if The New York Times really thinks that NATO is the "North American Treaty Organization," or if this error was a case of an intern gone rogue. Or worse, that their editorial staff really doesn't know the real, spelled-out name of NATO. That implies a whole lot of other, more serious stuff, which we cats don't really want to think about.

This year, Democrats need to message voters about the history of NATO and why it is so important. They need to explain that NATO is not an offensive, but a defensive, organization. (If people are reminded that NATO came to our defense after 9/11, that would make it crystal clear.) Voters also need to understand why NATO is crucial as a bulwark against Russian aggression. They can learn why Ukraine's membership is key to the future of the alliance — and why Putin hates NATO (and why Benedict Donald is doing Putin's bidding in trying to weaken it).

The state of journalism today is wildly worrisome. We cats would like to think that smarter heads will prevail, but to be honest, we're not sure. Until then, we worry, and we HISS.

Bondi Gets The Boot

By Sniffles

Rumor has it that a leading candidate to succeed the reviled and now humiliated Pam Bondi is EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin — the dude that we New Yorkers recently escaped having as our Governor.

Oh, lord, Zeldin is simply terrible. Which of course makes him no different from any of the other contenders — like Todd "I Brokered Ghislaine Maxwell's Cushy Relocation" Blanche. Zeldin has spent the last year gleefully gutting the EPA, menacing endangered species and presiding over the destruction of environmental safeguards that have kept us all healthier for decades. And as a Congressman from NY-01, he voted against certifying Joe Biden's 2020 election. So, yes, awful.

Zeldin would also be one of the least-qualified, if not the least-qualified, AG nominees. His only prosecutorial experience was in the military. He has no experience as a government lawyer outside of his stint at the Port Authority. He briefly had his own law firm before running for state office in New York. Will the 53 Republicans in the Senate really go down that road? It's definitely possible.

But whoever Trump picks, we can be sure of one thing: It will be a renewed, all-out war on Tish James, Adam Schiff, Lisa Cook, Jerome Powell and all the other folks Donald wants revenge on. As Al Jolson said, you ain't seen nothin' yet — because Trump is surely auctioning off the appointment to the highest bidder, whoever will promise to be even more slavish than Bondi was.

Hanging over all this is Donald's never-ending Epstein problem. And the Senate hearings are a guaranteed shitshow, especially if interim AG Blanche ends up being the nominee. Dear Judiciary Committee Democrats: Please get organized to attack in unison rather than going off on individual fishing expeditions. We cats HISS.

How Simply Frightful, Humiliating, Delightful

By Hubie and Bertie

How many of us think that Benedict Donald assumed that the Supreme Court allowed TV cameras in their hearings? Bet he did, bet he did!

Trump probably thought that he would be given a special (maybe golden?) seat. And that he would be the center of admiring attention as his Solicitor General brilliantly advocated for restrictions to birthright citizenship. And, most of all, that he'd be able to stare down the justices into complicity. It must have been a fun fantasy. But what he got instead was a simple spectator's bench, a sketch artist, and a hapless legal team that embarrassed itself in front of skeptical (i.e., Trump-appointed) justices. He left after an hour.

So, another silly stunt backfires. We can only imagine what he has in store for us in his speech tonight.

But do we care? If he announces he's going to pull us out of NATO, Congress will have something to say about that. (Yes, even this Congress.) He can't do anything about gas prices, even if the Strait of Hormuz opens tomorrow. His ridiculous Executive Order on mail-in voting is already being legally challenged. (The challengers will win.) The National Trust for Historic Preservation, bolstered by yesterday's decision by Judge Richard J. Leon, is possibly feeling renewed energy to oppose his Third Reich-ish arch and the other crap he has planned for Washington, DC. In short, Donald's on the downswing.

Interestingly, the more things go south for Trump, the more doubts we're seeing — on social media and in regular media — about the so-called "assassination attempts" on him, and even on the Charlie Kirk murder. (The recent news about ballistics analysis in the Kirk killing has contributed, too.) Donald seems weak, so everything in his orbit seems weak, too — and questionable. Because Trump is in a spiral, this will only continue. We cats are here for it, and we PURR.