Sole Mates

By Baxter

Okay, this shot by Brian Peterson of the Minneapolis Star Tribune is really not a very good picture of Franni Franken, but we couldn't help looking at it and thinking a bit about marriage.

To wit: The newest Democratic Senator's been married for 32 years, and as far as we can tell — and we defy you to come up with contrary evidence — nobody but the woman in the photo above has ever been, in the latest incredible words of Mark Sanford, Al Franken's "soul mate."

We realize that somehow, sometime, some way, the Frankens could prove us wrong. But we'd be shocked if they did. Because, funnily enough, it always seems to be the lecturers and scolds and religious fanatics who do that, instead. (Governor Sanford, for example, is now 'fessing up to "crossing the line" with other women — "dancing with somebody else," as he put it. Hoo, boy. There's a lot more to that story, we think.)

So we'll take the Frankens, and yes, the Clintons, and the Obamas, and the Bidens, and all those other Democratic couples who, however they've conducted their lives, don't try to tell the rest of us how to live our own.

Sanford Pours Gasoline on the Fire

Is this Buddhist monk Thich Quang Du'c, self-immolating in 1963, or Mark Sanford? We cats get so confused.

Now We Can All Rest More Easily

Paul Wellstone's Senate seat will finally be in the hands of a worthy successor. Congratulations, Al Franken!

At Long Last, 60

By Sniffles

Now we'll all see if Tim Pawlenty is a man or a mouse.

The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled unanimously in favor of Al Franken in his Senate race with the ever-creepy Norm Coleman. (Somebody tell the fat OxyContin addict down in Florida, who tried to spin yesterday's 5-to-4 decision by the U.S. Supreme Court as nine-zip. Ha!)

Although we cats do enjoy the occasional tasty mouse, we're rooting for Pawlenty to be a man, keep his word, and certify this ridiculously never-ending election. Good heavens, the country needs healthcare reform, you know?

UPDATE: The little worm known as Norm Coleman just did exactly as we expected — accepted defeat but whined about the process. The one decent thing he did was thank his colleague Amy Klobuchar and her staff, for carrying the load of two U.S. Senators for the last six months. Well, jerk, whose fault was that?

E-mails Sat In Drawers, While Sanford Dropped His

By Zamboni

We cats have often thought that it wouldn't be so bad if we all allowed the state of South Carolina to secede again. But maybe we should just start with The State.

What a lousy, lazy, second-rate excuse for a newspaper. If we were McClatchy, we would unload this rag immediately.

In a lengthy article published yesterday, The State recounts the juicy unraveling of L'Affaire Sanford. Because we dislike hypocritical Republicans, we admit that, mostly, it was a fun read. Nevertheless, we cats HISS.

Two reasons: First, we find no convincing explanation of why The State would sit on the incriminating Mark-loves-Maria e-mails for nearly six months while titanic political wrangling was underway in Columbia. "With the S.C. Legislature in session and a battle over federal stimulus money escalating," the paper declares, "the e-mails went in a drawer."

What?? We cats wonder how that stimulus battle would have gone had legislators known that Governor Sanford was getting "stimulation" of his own, down Argentina way. Shame on The State for not doing its most basic job — reporting.

Second reason: Our understanding of responsible journalism means that no story should beg more questions than it answers. Therefore, we find The State's throwaway reference to more women's names "coming in over the transom" pretty astounding. "The total was at three and counting," the story says. No further explanation. No quote from anybody backing it up. Nothing.

The State is in a sorry state indeed. But we cats have sharp ears, and we think we hear the sound of more Sanford shoes dropping. In the meantime, we can't help but speculate: How much dirt do these folks have on other South Carolina politicians that that they haven't been publishing? Like, say, Lindsay Graham?

Globe May Be Warming, But Sanford Household Very Chilly

By Baxter

Gracious. We cats have been offline for a few days, and so much has happened.

Yes, we know the House of Representatives may have just saved the planet with the passage of the climate change bill (and Juan Williams can go jump in the lake for telling NPR that unnamed "people" came out of rehab to vote on it). But we prefer to focus on the latest Republican embarrassment, the Sanfords.

Specifically, this: We think Jenny Sanford sounds like a pain in the ass.

We realize that Mrs. Sanford has created a bit of a buzz, not just for toeing a tough line on her hapless husband's infidelities, but for mounting an aggressive PR campaign rather than slinking into the shadows like other political wives. And we are in no way taking Governor Sanford's side, or anyone's "side," for that matter. These folks are self-righteous Republicans, so we're indulging ourselves in another satisfying round of Schadenfreude here.

But we're particularly struck by Mrs. Sanford's report that she forbade her husband to visit his "sweetest" in Argentina.

Excuse us? No wonder he promptly disobeyed.

The last we checked, Governor Sanford is a grown man. Grown people are supposed to be able to determine their own destiny. So we cats are not into spouses "forbidding" one another to do anything. Who made Jenny the boss of Mark? And for that matter, why does Mark apparently seem to need a boss?

Bugs Bunny would call Governor Sanford a "maroon." We cats just think he's a pussy.

Never Take Marital Advice from a Guy Named "Cubby"

By Sniffles

We cats are still catching our breath from the incredibly weird Mark Sanford press conference.

What IS it with Republicans? Not only are they hypocrites about sex, but why do they constantly feel they can just skate through stuff? We can think of lots of people — regular, hard-working Americans — who would never dream of vanishing from work without telling their staff or colleagues how to reach them.

In fact, if they did, they'd be fired.

People of South Carolina — take the hint!

P.S. Note to news media: When covering this story, please refrain from quoting anything from "Evita." Even if Sanford said he'd spent the last few days, um, crying down in you-know-where. Thank you.

UPDATE: OMG, these Sanford e-mails are beyond embarrassing. However, we cats are repulsed most by the hypocrisy. Have any Republicans seen the movie "Elmer Gantry"? Ye will be hoisted on your own holier-than-thou sexual petard, guys. And that doesn't even begin to touch on the subject of whether the people's business has been getting done in South Carolina lately.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR TONIGHT: According to the standards of then-Congressman (now Senator) Lindsay Graham of South Carolina, such consensual adult behavior — and, um, lying about it — absolutely disqualifies one for elective office. Just ask Bill Clinton. So — where are the articles of impeachment against Governor Mark Sanford?

We cats are NOT holding our breath.

Not Missing Nixon After All

By Zamboni

The Previously Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (Before George W. Bush Came Along) is still revealing himself, 15 years after his death.

New tapes n' memos n' stuff from the Richard M. Nixon Administration are coming out, and it appears that Nixon was not the anti-abortion fire-breather that so many in his party are today. Instead, the President who presided over Roe v. Wade was fairly measured in his response to it, even in private. Gosh, is it possible he wasn't so bad after all?

Then we read a little further. Oh. Never mind.

"There are times when an abortion is necessary," Nixon told an aide. "I know that. When you have a black and a white."

So, thank you, Tricky Dick. Lest we feel too charitable toward him in the wake of the awfulness of Bush, Nixon himself speaks from beyond the grave and handily reminds us of the way he won the White House. He was the first Republican President, in fact, who used the so-called "Southern Strategy" — romancing the racists who were stampeding away from the Democrats for enacting civil rights. And as we sadly know from recent events, the GOP has been home to the haters ever since.

We HISS at Richard Nixon. Wonder how he'd feel about the son of "a black and a white" sitting in his Oval Office chair?

Life, Liberty & The Right To Be Called What You Want

By Baxter

We cats realize there are much more important things going on in the world than the subject of tonight's post. But we're so tired of Republicans latching onto a molehill and trying to whip up a mountain.

Latest case in point: Republican Senator Jim DeMint referring to his colleague from California, Barbara Boxer, as an "embarrassment" because she asked a military officer testifying before Congress to call her "Senator" instead of "ma'am."

"I worked so hard to get that title," Senator Boxer explained — politely, we might add. "So, I'd appreciate it."

Senator Boxer an "embarrassment"? Actually, we're sorry that she felt the need to justify her request at all. It's less a question of hard work than the fact that, in the words of Miss Manners, "It is courteous to address people in the fashion with which they feel comfortable."

And Jim DeMint? The next time she runs into him, we hope Senator Boxer says, "Hi, jerk."

Is Past Prologue?

By Sniffles

A few questions for a Sunday afternoon:

Do Republicans who vote "no" on a war funding bill still support the troops?

How can Republicans who wanted to bomb the Iranian people criticize President Obama for not speaking up for those same people?

Why are we cats reminded so much lately of Chicago 1968? Oh, yes — that was a police riot, too.

(PHOTO: CNN.com)