Elon Gets Cheesed

By Baxter

We cats started our Tuesday catching up with the weekend news out of Louisiana, where voters resoundingly rejected four constitutional amendments championed by their right-wing Governor, Jeff Landry (winner of the 2025 Most Punchable Face Contest). Amendment 2's tax overhaul was particularly toxic — even rural and evangelical voters went against that one, because they feared it could lead to levies on churches. It was all pretty embarrassing for Landry, who was hoping to slide the changes in under the radar, and who predictably blamed woke leftist Soros Democrats. (Nothing's ever their fault.)

On the heels of that yummy news nugget came the revolt in the House of Representatives, where nine Republicans teamed up with Democrats against a proxy-voting rule change. Preacher of the House Mike "Mike" Johnson was so peeved he sent the members home for the rest of the week — sparking ridicule from Democrats, and a cat fight between House leadership and Anna Paulina Luna (who is a nutcase, but who managed to be right on this issue on behalf of her fellow new-mom colleagues). A Johnson hissy-fit! How ignominious.

Our first thought was: Please, don't let these be the only humiliations that Republicans suffer today.

Somebody must have been listening, because then, results rolled in from the special elections in FL-01 and FL-6, plus the race for Wisconsin Supreme Court. The GOP may have held the two Florida districts, but their vastly reduced (i.e., halved) margins of "victory" must have alarm bells ringing in Trump World. (Our candidate in FL-01, Gay Valimont, even flipped ruby-red Escambia County blue. Unheard of.)

Equally if not more important was Wisconsin, where voters gave Elon Musk a magnificent smackdown and kept a liberal majority on their Supreme Court. It's going to make a huge difference for fair maps, and maybe even add a couple of Democratic seats in this heavily Republican-gerrymandered state. And you'll never guess why Musk was so intent on rigging the Court for himself: In 2024, he applied to the Wisconsin DOT to open four Tesla dealerships there. The DOT denied it, because there's a state law that bars carmakers from selling directly to consumers. Naturally, Musk filed a lawsuit to challenge the decision — and it's due to come up before the state Supreme Court. It gets pretty interesting when you peel back the onion, yes?

(A thoroughly miffed Musk later tried to claim the Court race didn't matter as much as a voter ID law, which passed. But nobody's fooled. Wisconsin already has a voter ID law on the books. Lame!)

All in all, yesterday was the best day we Democrats — and the country — have had in a long time. And that doesn't even count Cory Booker. We cats salute him and the voters, and we PURR.

He Did It.

 

Throw The Booker At 'Em

By Sniffles

Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey has been speaking on the floor of the Senate for 19 hours now, and he's still going. You can watch him live here. You leave him a thank-you message at his Capitol Hill Senate office by calling (202) 224-3224. (We've already done it.)

At this point, Booker appears to be on the way to breaking Strom Thurmond's record filibuster of 24 hours, when he railed against the Civil Rights Act of 1957. Of course, there are so many Trump outrages that Cory will probably need twice as much time as Thurmond's to list them all. Great work, CB. We cats PURR.

Fine And Foolish

By Hubie and Bertie

The jokes are flying thick and fast about tomorrow's Election Day falling on April Fool's. Goodness knows, there are plenty of fools around these days in politics, government and public affairs. So, so many. But tomorrow is another opportunity to vote them out — or at least, send a message.

The Wisconsin Supreme Court race is top of mind, and not just because every time we see the name of the Trumpy Republican candidate, we think it's "Schlemiel." (Seems about right.) It's because the Tesla Turd is pouring a ton of money into the state. Hey, last we checked, paying people to vote was illegal. But anyway.

Two special elections in Florida are also getting a lot of attention. One is for Matt Gaetz's former seat in FL-01. Forget it, everybody. We have a great candidate, but we're not going to win that one. The other is for Mike "Signalgate" Waltz's former seat in FL-06. That one's interesting, and the GOP is officially fretting over it. Here's how The Hill, which is not typically friendly to Democrats, put it: "Republicans Look to Avert Humiliation in Florida Special Election."

Reasons? Nobody expected the Democratic contender, Josh Weil, to be able to raise zillions of dollars. He's a schoolteacher, for heaven's sake! And Republicans were undoubtedly surprised to see an internal poll from the GOP firm Fabrizio Ward that put Weil over their icky candidate, Randy Fine, by three points. Sure, it's only one poll, but this is a Trump +30 district. Pretty amazing.

So, going into Tuesday, here's our take.

In FL-06, any victory that Republicans notch by less than 15 percentage points will be a win for us. A victory by less than 10 percent? A big win for us. Less than five? HUGE. (And yes, Weil could out-and-out snag the seat, which we'd be thrilled to see. But don't count on it.)

In FL-01, a Republican win of less than 65 percent of the vote will be a loss for them. By less than 60 percent, a big loss. By less than 55 percent... well, as The Hill might say, HUMILIATING.

Keep your eye on what veterans and seniors do — that'll be key in both districts. Paws are crossed! We cats PURR.

Want.

This cap is all the rage in Greenland. And maybe beyond. (There's a Canadian version, too). We cats PURR.

Tidtbits And Cat Treats: Trump's Very Bad Week Edition

By Miss Kubelik

It can't be good for the Trumpsters when rumor has it that the Republicans are in trouble in FL-06. It appears that Josh Weil, the Democratic Congressional candidate, is trailing within the margin of error to the repulsive Republican candidate, Randy Fine. This much is clear: If the GOP were sure of a cakewalk, maybe Benedict Donald wouldn't have yanked Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's nomination to be Ambassador to the UN. And it seems a cakewalk they will not get.

That's just one story that broke in the last few days that made for a bad week for MAGA. How terrible was it? Let us count the ways:

1. Signalgate, of course. We have to assume it's not good that people are wondering if the Secretary of Defense was drunk when he ordered airstrikes on Yemen. How long will Hegseth last? People are already posting his photo next to the now-familiar Liz Truss head of lettuce.

2. On top of Signalgate, news broke that Team Trump left their Venmo and other online information public. Goodness gracious, but Russia and China must be having a field day.

3. JD Vance's visit to Greenland was an utter shitshow.

4. Benedict Donald had to go hat in hand to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney for a phone conversation. It happened today — after which Carney said Trump respected Canadian sovereignty during the call.  "Perhaps there was a different impression before about how strong Canada really is," he said. For his part, Trump indicated that he and Carney would speak after the federal election. Whoops, guess that means Donald thinks the Liberals are going to win, yes?

5. Neil Drabkin, the Conservative candidate for the NDG-Westmount riding in Montreal, has asserted that his federal leader Pierre Poilievre has the respect of "people close to Trump." Wow, what a death knell. Or, as our favorite Montreal journalist put it, "Neil Drabkin, you screeching fool. You just let the cat out of the bag. PP and the Cons are just stand-ins for Trump and Musk, waiting to do their bidding."

6. Musk has been forced to stop bribing people to vote in Wisconsin. 

Finally, let's remind ourselves again that an Executive Order is not a law. Governing by EO is a sign of weakness, not of strength. We cats PURR.

Elsie Doesn't Take Manhattan

By Zamboni

It's a sad day in the Elise "Elsie" Stefanik household, since Benedict Donald has yanked her nomination to be Ambassador to the UN. As soon as the rumors started flying today, Trump posted on his failing social media platform that she was out. Gosh, that was quick. You have to assume Susie Wiles told Donald he couldn't afford to weather another embarrassing drip-drip news story — not this week, at least.

The Trumpy line is that Republicans were worried that Elsie's vacant seat in the House would endanger passage of their Project 2025 agenda this year. On which we call bullshit because: 

1) When did they decide to actually try to pass stuff like a real Congress, instead of having Trump govern solely by Executive Order?

2) Democrats in Albany had already decided against trying to delay the special election to replace Elsie, and Governor Hochul was poised to name a date in the near future — maybe as soon as June.

3) It's not 2025 that the Republicans are worried about. It's 2026. (Have they seen polling from next week's special elections for districts in Florida? If so, were the numbers portending future doom?)

The question now is what all the GOP hopefuls to fill Elsie's seat will do. They must be crestfallen. One, Dan Stec, just snagged the Conservative Party's endorsement the other day, giving him a big boost to getting support from all the party chairs in the district. The others? Who knows? It's a crowded field of Republican clowns, but one especially moronic goofball, Anthony Constantino, was threatening a third-party run against Stec as the nominee. We were kinda looking forward to that.

Well, no matter. Aside from sending glitter bombs to Stefanik's home in Schuylerville, our marching orders in the meantime are clear: Help Democrats win those two House seats on April 1. You can donate to Josh Weil in FL-06 (Mike Waltz's old seat) by clicking here. You can donate to Gay Valimont in FL-01 by clicking here. We cats PURR.

It's Not Easy Being Greenland

By Baxter

Well, if there's one gift that the first weeks of the Trumpocalypse has given us, it's a lot of information about Greenland. For example, the flag of Greenland is not, um, green. It looks like this. Pretty nifty.

Be honest — you didn't know anything about this gigantic territory of Denmark either, right? It's just been quietly sitting there at the top of the world for ages, without us giving it so much as a by-your-leave. But if you're Vladimir Putin with your eyes on controlling the Arctic, you've got Greenland on your mind. You're also keenly aware that Greenland is home to a US military base, which services NORAD, and as a Danish territory is part of the NATO military alliance.

It's obvious: There is no other reason for Benedict Donald to jabber on about annexing Greenland except that to Putin's bidding. Trump is a Russian asset and traitor who has no business sitting in the White House. But as the saying goes, here we are.

The latest salvo in the Trumpy "Let's Take Greenland" campaign was their attempt to send Usha Vance on a "cultural tour" and charm offensive. The concept was a load of crap, and Greenlanders weren't buying it — firmly closing their doors on any American advance team that asked them to host her for a visit. Now, with Signalgate and her creepy husband JD threatening to join her, the whole idea has become completely toxic — so bad, in fact, that the trip has been scaled down to one pop-in at the Pituffik military base.

Poor Usha! Poor JD! How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful! We cats PURR.

For Republicans, It's Always "Fair Game"

By Sniffles

Remember Valerie Plame? She was the undercover CIA officer whom right-wing columnist Robert Novak outed by name back in 2003. Dick Cheney's chief of staff, "Scooter" Libby, was later convicted of lying to investigators about the scandal. But before he could be hauled off to the hoosegow, George W. Bush commuted his sentence. (Benedict Donald later pardoned him, of course. It's a pattern with him.)

The whole Plame nightmare is just one reason we don't have warm and fuzzy feelings about people named Cheney, by the way. But that's something for another blog post.

Meanwhile, more than 20 years later, the Republicans have clearly learned nothing. Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg said today that in the Signal conversation the Trumpsters carelessly looped him into about their military strike in Yemen, Trump's CIA chief, John Ratcliffe, clearly identified one of his covert operatives to the group. "I withheld her name," Goldberg said. "I didn't put it in the story because she's under cover. But, I mean, the CIA director put it into the chat."

Is that bad? That seems bad.

Once upon a time, Ratcliffe, like nearly everyone else involved in the FUBAR'd Signal thread, was oh-so-stern about protecting our national secrets. He went on FOX "News" in 2019 and bleated, "Mishandling classified information is...a violation of the Espionage Act. It started with Hillary Clinton. It has continued without accountability."

Um, no. It never "started with Hillary Clinton," because no classified information ever turned up on her private server. But the GOP's never-ending hypocrisy led Clinton to weigh in on Twitter yesterday with "You've GOT to be kidding me." (We sense a missing adjective in that tweet — something starting with "f" and ending with "ing.")

We've searched for Valerie Plame on social media, but so far, no luck. Would some enterprising journalist be willing to connect the dots and call her for a comment? It could be interesting. We cats HISS.

Come From Behind

By Hubie and Bertie

It's been a pretty good day for the Liberals in Canada. And with the federal election taking place right around the corner, the Conservative Party can't afford to have a lot of not-great days.

As we've mentioned before, the Tories' previously massive lead vanished since Justin Trudeau stepped down as Liberal Party leader, and especially since Benedict Donald started his annexation and "51st state" threats. As one Trumpy guy at the American Enterprise Institute has whined: "Obviously, [Trump] has unintentionally been the single biggest factor in the comeback of this left-of-center party in Canada." (Ooooooh, a left-of-center party, so scary and awful.)

But now the Conservatives have even more problems.

The Trumpy premier of Alberta, Danielle Smith, went on Breitbart a couple of weeks ago and admitted to asking Team Donald to "pause" the tariffs until after her party wins next month. Put another way: She solicited a former friend who's become openly hostile to commit election interference in her country. Incredible. On the other hand, Smith is a Benedict Donald admirer who ran down to Mar-a-Lago to kiss his ring (or his whatever) last November, so she must have assumed she'd have some special influence with him.

Canadians don't seem thrilled. A recent Ipsos poll showed the Liberals increasing their lead over the Conservatives to seven points.

The other reason that Liberals are smiling today? Prime Minister Mark Carney visited Gander, Newfoundland, which famously welcomed thousands of airline passengers who were stranded there on September 11, 2001. "In this crisis caused by the US president and those who are enabling him, we lament a friendship lost," Carney said. "In Gander, Canadians did extraordinary things for Americans when they needed it. Now, we need to do extraordinary things for ourselves."

Brilliant move. So what does Tory leader Pierre Poilievre do now? Does he ignore Atlantic Canada because he's going to get wiped out there? Or does he look like a copycat and show up? We cats PURR.