Cat Fight! Miller Versus Moreno(s)

By Sniffles

Wow, Max Miller is such a creep. He launched a video on Twitter today after his former father-in-law, Republican Senator Bernie Moreno, said he should resign from Congress. But if Max thought the video would tamp down the allegations that he's a serial abuser, hoo-boy.

No way you can watch and not see a guy who throws boiling water at you, holds a gun to your head, and breaks your toddler's collarbone. (He also suffers from Michele Bachmann Syndrome — a baffling inability to look straight into the camera.) It's skin-crawl time.

But somebody said, "Great job, Max, let's post it." And the interwebs promptly blew up. "This is classic abuser tactic." "Was the point to make him look even more guilty? If so, mission accomplished." "All I heard was 'Why did you make me hurt you?'" "The video will be used in Social Work/Family Violence seminars to establish what a perpetrator of domestic violence looks and sounds like." And on and on.

Jeez. At least Ted Bundy was charming.

So here we are, with Miller and Bernie Moreno trading insults on social media, and Ohio Republicans caught in a bind. They have until Wednesday, August 5 to replace Miller on the ballot, but Miller vows to stay in. Good. We cats would like nothing more than to have this repulsive dude asking for Ohioans' votes in a district that Democrats are targeting — and for him to be publicly feuding with Bernie Moreno all the way to November 3. (When Moreno's not busy F-bombing Tony Fauci, that is.) We cats PURR.

Andrew Tate's "Fashion Don't." Trump's "Get The Hook" Moment.

By Baxter

You know it's a pretty okay weekend when these two things happen:

Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Miami yesterday on new charges of rape, sex trafficking, and possession of child pornography. Decent people everywhere are rooting for their extradition to the UK. Meanwhile, social media relentlessly mocked Andrew's attire.

As if that weren't delicious enough, Spain won the World Cup today, denying Donald Trump an opportunity to present the Cup to the country of one of his favorite dictators. Then, "when the US president and Gianni Infantino came on to the field for the presentation after Spain clinched victory, boos rang out around the stadium," The Guardian said. "The White House pool report said that ambient crowd noise, which had been sitting at approximately 78 decibels before their introduction, rose to 84 decibels when Trump entered the field.

"Then, after Trump presented Spain with the World Cup trophy, he attempted to stand with the team at the side of the podium as they celebrated before Infantino quietly ushered him away." We cats PURR.

Time For Some Serious Bunny Butt

By Zamboni

The "sudden passing" of Lady Lindsey Graham calls for some down-the-rabbit-hole time, folks. Get ready.

For all his (many) faults, Graham was a firm supporter of Ukraine, and often served as the designated hoser-down on Benedict Donald's love for Putin (and contempt for Zelenskyy). In fact, he had just gotten back from Ukraine yesterday — Margaret Brennan of CBS reports that she spoke to him on Friday before he left Kyiv.

"He was excited to share the news that the Trump White House had finally given him the green light for Congress to move his long-sought bill to put significant financial penalties on Russia by punishing buyers of Russian oil," Brennan said. Hmmm... that doesn't sound like something Vlad would like, does it?

Now, check out this tweet by Sir William Browder, author of the Magnitsky Act.

"Not to be a conspiracy theorist," he said, "but Lindsey Graham was the leading driver of the devastating sanctions bill against Russia... he had just returned from Ukraine, where it's not unknown for Russian agents to operate. Russians are expert at administration of poisons that look like heart attacks. All tests should be done immediately to rule out foul play. I've seen enough Russian-related suspicious deaths to know this is the only course of action."

Oh, Bill, do please indulge in conspiracies. We're already awash in them with Mitch McConnell. (And here's the kicker: If Putin decided to off Lindsey, that means Benedict Donald knew. Prove us wrong.)

With Lindsey, as with Mitch, social media is the place to be for ghoulish grins today. MAGA might be appalled, but their behavior is hardly exemplary (see: Trump's tweet on the death of Robert Mueller), and besides, it's so much fun to mock the newly deceased when it's someone like Graham. As the old saying goes, the dead should make it harder for us to speak ill of them. Stay tuned for our comments on the South Carolina Senate race. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

Schadenfreude In NY-21

By Miss Kubelik

We cats no longer live in New York's 21st Congressional District, thank goodness. We were recently redistricted in NY-20, but the border between being represented by MAGAt Elise "Elsie" Stefanik and Democrat Paul Tonko is maybe a block away. If someone opens a can of tuna in a house in the 21st, we hear it.

Which means that we drive around NY-21 a lot. Before yesterday's primary, we couldn't help noticing the dearth of yard signs for Republican Congressional candidate Robert Smullen — among many, many (ugly) ones at the side of the road for his Trump-endorsed opponent, Anthony Constantino.

 This was strange. Smullen was officially endorsed by the New York Republican Party (hi, Ed Cox!). Surely that meant he had the full weight of county parties' organizing muscle behind him... right?

Another oddity: Constantino supporters far outnumbered Smullen stans at a candidates' forum in Saratoga Springs last week. Although bad behavior by both Constantino and his fans caused the event to spiral into chaos (see above), Smullen's lack of visibility in the crowd was campaign malpractice. If you can't turn your people out to a candidate Q&A, you won't be able to turn them out on Election Day.

Spoiler: He didn't. Smullen was crushed by Constantino by 19 points.

We cats are enjoying this very much. Smullen will be listed on the Conservative Party line on the November ballot, and now he has to figure out if he's going to stay there and fight, or throw in the towel to a guy whose hand he refused to shake after a debate in May. And while party leaders in the 21st district are grudgingly endorsing Constantino (even though he didn't meet with many of them during the primary to ask for their support), the state GOP has a conundrum on its hands — thanks to New York's weird multi-party ballot and Benedict Donald throwing a monkey wrench into everything.

(And what will "Elsie" do? Will she finally get off her ass the fence and endorse Constantino? All she's done so far is tweet an anodyne statement, saying the primary was a "hard-fought election and the voters have spoken loudly." How bold! How trenchant!)

Take heart, New York Republicans. You're not the only ones suffering from Trump wreaking havoc in your party. Look what happened on Capitol Hill today: a canceled bill signing, a shouting match at lunch. The GOP is such a bunch of happy campers right now. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Alexander MacDougall, The Times-Union)

Smullen Doesn't Give A Shake

 

 

 

By Zamboni

There's a nasty (i.e., very fun) fight going on between the Republicans who are vying for Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's Congressional seat in NY-21.

As we posted a little over a month ago, the Trump-endorsed candidate, Anthony Constantino, is giving a whole lot of headaches to the more traditional, state-party-blessed hopeful, Assemblyman Robert Smullen. No love is lost between these two dudes, and when they met in a debate last week, the fur kinda flew.

"Both candidates adhered to the rules of decorum during the debate, confining their statements to their allotted time and requiring little intervention from [the] moderator," Yahoo news reports. "But they continued to attack each other in harsh terms, with Constantino casting Smullen as an unknown 'C-lister' who has failed to adequately support Trump. Smullen countered that Constantino is 'unfit to serve' and noted his campaign had once hired a man accused of murder."

(Note to the file: That last bit is true. We kid you not.)

"The caustic parley that has defined the primary race spilled over when Constantino reached across his podium to offer Smullen a handshake," Yahoo continued. "Smullen ignored Constantino, gathered his belongings, and walked off the television studio set."

Wow. Smullen later explained that he wasn't going to shake hands because Constantino had sent him a mean text. (The text was not nice, but it was also ridiculous.) This gave Constantino another line of attack, and made Smullen look petty — positively Trumpy, in fact.

The snub reminded us of Ann Richards's reaction when her Republican opponent for Texas governor, Clayton Williams, pulled the same stunt on her. It was back in 1990, when Trumpian behavior was still unknown. "Oh, Clayton," she said, "that's bad." Yup. We cats PURR.

Numbers Don't Lie (Les Chiffres Ne Mentent Pas)

 

By Baxter

New data reveal that the Canadian boycott of the United States is still going strong — stronger than previously estimated, in fact.

"While official Statistics Canada figures show a roughly 25 percent decline in Canadian residents returning from the US last year, cellphone data compiled by researchers at the University of Toronto's School of Cities found that the year-over-year drop in cross-border trips was closer to 42 percent," the CBC reports.

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and multiple locations in Florida like Miami and Orlando have been particularly hard hit, despite Canadians' famous tendency to escape south during the winter. And business travel has been affected just as much — all thanks to Benedict Donald, his stupid tariffs, and his ridiculous "51st state" BS.

This is costing the United States nearly $9 billion — so far. (Nice going, Trump.) But our American ambassador in Ottawa just can't understand it. He's particularly miffed about Canada's boycott of US booze.

"We think the alcohol ban is totally unfair," Pete Hoekstra said. "It's a clear indicator of how 11 provinces [and territories] feel about trade with the United States. They're sending a very, very clear message about how doing business with the United States doesn't appeal to them.

"The prime minister has reinforced that message. It creates some questions about whether Canada really wants to do business with the United States."

Wow, he's so close to getting it. What an idiot. We cats HISS.

John Cornyn Ass-Snorkels Trump, Gets Beat Anyway

By Miss Kubelik

As Richard Nixon liked to say, let's make one thing perfectly clear: Benedict Donald's endorsement did not make Ken Paxton's Senate runoff victory in Texas possible yesterday. Benedict Donald made the (late) endorsement because he already knew that Paxton was going to win. The MAGA tea leaves were clear, and you know how Trump hates to be associated with losers.

Which means that not only is there a clearer path for Democrat James Talarico to get elected in November, but Texas Republicans just threw away more than two decades of Senate seniority for their state. (The 49 other states in the union say, "Thanks, guys!") And the relationship between the GOP Senate caucus and the White House just got uglier. Get ready for some fun when lawmakers return to DC next week.

It's doubtful that John Cornyn will take advantage of the fact that he's been unleashed. We don't see him going anti-Trump the way Senator Bill Cassidy did after he lost in Louisiana. Most likely — because he's a traditional dude, a near-Senate-Majority Leader, and an institutionalist — he'll remain mostly silent about his humiliation. But we can't say the same for his supporters.

Talarico wisely held out an olive branch to Cornyn voters last night, assuring them that they were welcome in his camp. So it'll be interesting to see what, for example, the Lone Star State's blue-haired Barbara Bush ladies do going forward. Surely they're appalled at their official Senate candidate. Will they close their checkbooks? Probably. Will they even show up to vote? Uncertain. Or will they do the right thing and turn out for the Democratic seminarian in November? To the GOP's consternation, it's possible. We cats PURR.

Is The Other Stiletto Heel About To Drop?

By Sniffles

Remember that scene in All the President's Men where the Nixon spokesperson pre-emptively denies that the White House had anything to do with the Watergate break-in? To Woodward and Bernstein (or rather, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman), that was an intriguing tell.

The same kind of thing happened today. Moose & Squirrel made a speech in which she gratuitously brought up Jeffrey Epstein and declared, "I never been friends with Epstein." (Yes, that's a real quote from a woman who allegedly got an Einstein visa to enter the US and who is supposed to be fluent in multiple languages. PS: She also doesn't know how to say the word "trivial.")

Everyone is mystified. Why now? Tweeters and skeeters used to joke that the Iran war was launched as a distraction from Epstein. Was Epstein now being used as a distraction from the Iran war?

That wouldn't be surprising, since the consensus is that Benedict Donald got seriously rolled by the Iranians after he threatened to blow them up. He TACOed, of course — but it's no laughing matter. Here's how Obama deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes sums it up:

"In the best-case scenario, Trump struck a deal to reopen a Strait that was open before the pointless war he started, with the IRGC demonstrating its control over the Strait and potentially extracting fees plus sanctions relief. Thousands of innocents —including hundreds of children — dead in Lebanon and Iran for no reason. US troops killed and wounded. US embassies and bases in the Middle East badly damaged. US standing in the world obliterated. US munitions badly depleted.

"Hundreds of billions spent. Prices up everywhere. More global economic fallout to come. Putin strengthened and enriched. Just a catastrophic situation even in the best of circumstances. A profoundly shameful episode in American history no matter what happens next."

The other prevailing theory about Moose & Squirrel is that something is about to explode from the Epstein files, and she was trying to get ahead of it. People, some of them goofballs, speculated if Russia, Iran, or Israel were involved. But we cats have another theory.

Maybe it's Denmark. After all, Trump has started bleating about Greenland again. Wouldn't that be delicious? We cats PURR.

Leo Can't Go Home Again

By Hubie and Bertie

Here's where the first American pope will spend the Fourth of July: Lampedusa, the southernmost island off Sicily, and the historical entry point for African refugees into Italy. It's also known for its pristine beaches, delicious cuisine, and Sea Turtle Recovery Center. Sounds fabulous — but surely Leo will use his visit to stress the importance of welcoming the refugee (or, as Jesus put it, the stranger).

This is where he's going instead of accepting the Trumpsters' invitation to celebrate Independence Day in a broiling-hot Washington, DC filled with Hitlerian Trump monuments. Can you blame him? Especially after what apparently happened at the Pentagon this past January.

Reports abound that a Defense Department under-secretary named Elbridge Colby summoned Cardinal Christophe Pierre, who at the time was the Vatican's ambassador to the US, and told him, "America has the military power to do whatever it wants in the world. The Catholic Church had better take its side." Rumor has it the Avignon Papacy was pointedly mentioned. The Cardinal was, um, not pleased.

And, it seems, neither was Leo. Not only has the Vatican permanently shelved any possible trip to the US for him in 2026, it's broadly hinting that the Pope may never come here at all — at least, not as long as this Administration is in charge. That must be disappointing for Benedict Donald, who loves to cozy up to famous folks who have golden gewgaws in their homes. Proximity to such people gives him validation.

Interestingly, Leo hasn't backed off his criticism of the Trumpsters one bit, and in fact has doubled down. So whatever the goal of this silly January meeting was, it looks like it backfired big-time.

Sadly, Americans who were hoping to see Il Papa toss out the first pitch for the Chicago White Sox this summer are out of luck. But we hope Leo enjoys some scuba diving and fresh seafood and couscous on Lampedusa instead. He deserves it. We cats PURR.

How Simply Frightful, Humiliating, Delightful

By Hubie and Bertie

How many of us think that Benedict Donald assumed that the Supreme Court allowed TV cameras in their hearings? Bet he did, bet he did!

Trump probably thought that he would be given a special (maybe golden?) seat. And that he would be the center of admiring attention as his Solicitor General brilliantly advocated for restrictions to birthright citizenship. And, most of all, that he'd be able to stare down the justices into complicity. It must have been a fun fantasy. But what he got instead was a simple spectator's bench, a sketch artist, and a hapless legal team that embarrassed itself in front of skeptical (i.e., Trump-appointed) justices. He left after an hour.

So, another silly stunt backfires. We can only imagine what he has in store for us in his speech tonight.

But do we care? If he announces he's going to pull us out of NATO, Congress will have something to say about that. (Yes, even this Congress.) He can't do anything about gas prices, even if the Strait of Hormuz opens tomorrow. His ridiculous Executive Order on mail-in voting is already being legally challenged. (The challengers will win.) The National Trust for Historic Preservation, bolstered by yesterday's decision by Judge Richard J. Leon, is possibly feeling renewed energy to oppose his Third Reich-ish arch and the other crap he has planned for Washington, DC. In short, Donald's on the downswing.

Interestingly, the more things go south for Trump, the more doubts we're seeing — on social media and in regular media — about the so-called "assassination attempts" on him, and even on the Charlie Kirk murder. (The recent news about ballistics analysis in the Kirk killing has contributed, too.) Donald seems weak, so everything in his orbit seems weak, too — and questionable. Because Trump is in a spiral, this will only continue. We cats are here for it, and we PURR.

Noem No More

 

By Baxter

We cats were already feeling pretty good this morning about everybody who showed up for Tuesday's primary in Texas. "Democratic turnout reached record levels, as more voters participated in the party’s primary than in the Republican one," CNN reported. Turnout was strong in North Carolina, too. Excellent!

And then Benedict Donald proved the interwebs rumors right and fired puppy killer Kristi Noem. Fun!

What's even better is that Noem seems to think that "Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas," which Trump totally made up when he sacked her, is a real job. "Thank you, POTUS!" she tweeted. Donald promised to provide more details about the "shield" soon, but considering his erratic behavior, we think there's a non-zero chance that that announcement never comes.

It's also pretty amusing, if in a grim way, that the media and the tweeters and observers are treating Noem's firing as a Donald decision. Trump is in such bad shape, both physically and mentally, that Stephen Miller is running the joint like no one has since Edith Wilson back in 1919. Gossip has it that Miller highly disapproved of Noem's extramarital nookies with Corey Lewandowski — which is hilarious when you consider who he works for. And Miller no doubt didn't appreciate Noem's stumble back in January, when she said, "Everything I’ve done, I’ve done at the direction of the President and Stephen."

(Speaking of adultery, how long, do you think, before the Noems land in divorce court? "Bryon" can't have been pleased to be a prop at yesterday's House hearing, even though he left before members started asking his wife about fucking Lewandowski on the plane.)

Markwayne Mullin, meanwhile, is a subject for another post. We're holding off because there's also a non-zero chance that his "nomination," if you can call a post on Truth Social that, eventually crumbles. But although the world is better without Noem at DHS, she's done a ton of damage that has to be repaired. And the tragedy is that Trump didn't remove her for her many failures and outrages — he fired her for making him look bad on television. We cats HISS.

At This Rate, TIME Will Have To Name Jeffrey Epstein Person Of The Year

By Hubie and Bertie

Well, today has been quite the day. The former Prince Andrew, now just plain old Andy Mountbatten-Windsor, celebrated his 66th birthday in the hoosegow after being arrested at the Sandringham Estate for sharing trade secrets with convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Did we really just write that? Sandringham is the royal property where the much-admired King George VI died in 1952. But this morning it was crawling with plainclothes cops who were going through Andrew's desk cubbies, dresser drawers, and goodness knows where else. Whew, it's a good thing that Andrew's sister Princess Anne is a patron of the Butler Trust — a charitable organization that supports the humane operations of UK prisons. (Although weirdly, Anne went through with a previously scheduled royal visit today to a prison in Leeds. Awkward!)

Anyone looking for Epstein accountability has to be a little deflated that Andrew's arrest relates not to the rape of children but to absconding, albeit electronically, with confidential governmental stuff — you know, the kind of thing that Benedict Donald excelled at in paper form (see above), and for which he escaped prosecution only because his useful idiot Judge Aileen Cannon threw out Jack Smith's case.

On the other hand, there may be reason to hope. Andrew's arrest seems like a dangerous moment for everyone in the Epstein Class on this side of the Atlantic who has pretty much managed to skate so far — including Trump, who acted today like a guilty person.

First, it gives Democrats a golden opportunity (which, happily, they have seized) to remind Americans that nobody is above the law and that justice should be pursued here as well. Second, it gives a huge bump to the "Let's Keep Epstein In The News" movement, potential military action against Iran be damned. Third, who knows what information Andrew will give up to save his own skin? King Charles made it clear in his chilly statement today that he'll underbuss his brother to save the House of Windsor. So Andy better spill some beans, and quick.

Meanwhile, how things have changed. We cats remember the days when Andrew was a handsome young prince who valiantly jumped out of helicopters in a fun, Thatcher-y war against Argentina. Now he's a washed up, bloated mug shot. Andrew may try to take comfort in the fact that the last kingly sibling to be dragged off to prison was Elizabeth I, who overcame adversity to reign for 44 years. But on the other hand, the last royal to be arrested but not jailed was Charles I, who was beheaded in 1649. Maybe at this point, the third Charles would be grateful for an ax so he can dispatch Brother Andrew himself. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

De Adder Du Jour

 

By Sniffles

All you need to know about the Gordie Howe Bridge — aside from Mark Carney calling Benedict Donald to correct him on the basic facts — is that "Matty" Mouron, the owner of a competing bridge between Detroit and Ontario, met with Jeffrey Epstein pal (and Secretary of Commerce) Howard Lutnick to bitch about the Gordie Howe just hours before Benedict Donald came out against it.

Fun fact: Back in 2018, Trump thought the Gordie Howe Bridge was a swell idea. Surely PM Carney reminded him of that. (And that Canada has paid the entire bill for its construction.) Donald's hissy fit has boosted Canadian confidence and made life more difficult for Michigan Republicans whose names are on the ballot this year.

That's not just for economic reasons. Gordie Howe was Canadian, but he was also a Detroit Red Wings legend, racking up so many great stats and throwing so many elbows that he became known as "Mr. Hockey." Michiganders will not soon forget Trump's insult. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deadder.net)

Committee Contretemps

By Hubie and Bertie

Is there any better proof that the Trumpsters have their backs against the wall than Pam Bondi's behavior in front of the House Judiciary Committee today? When you've got nothing, the theory goes, then insult, obstruct, accuse, and yell (aka, "pound the table"). They think this will make the American people forget about Jeffrey Epstein.

Thanks for playing, Team MAGA. The Epstein saga is metastasizing, and Benedict Donald and his perfidious minions can barely keep up. House Democrats — and Kentucky Republican Thomas Massie — hammered Bondi on the Epstein cover-up, forcing her to lose her cool many times. News flash: When you allow yourself to get rattled, you're losing.

Bondi must have known this, though, deep in her heart (or whatever is where her heart ought to be). She had to know that Rep. Pramila Jayapal had boxed her in on apologizing to the Epstein victims. She also had to know that Jayapal had put her front-and-center in what surely will be one of the photos of the decade. (That's a group of Epstein survivors, plus Virginia Giuffre's brother, standing behind Pamela Jo, raising their hands to say that they'd never been asked by DOJ to testify about what Jeffrey did to them.)

Props to Pramila for that — nicely done. And Bondi just got nuttier from there. Donald will surely spend hours lauding her performance on social media tonight, but they have to know they lost the day.

At one point, Bondi called Ranking Member Jamie Raskin "washed up" and "not even a lawyer." Guess again, Blondie. Jamie Raskin is indeed a lawyer, as well as an expert on something Bondi knows nothing about: the US Constitution. Raskin is a graduate of Harvard, which is slightly more respected than (cough, cough) Stetson University College of Law. But true to her alma mater's name, Bondi proved today that she's all hat, no cattle. Meanwhile, the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein isn't going anywhere. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(PS: Will someone in the Trump orbit please tell Pamela Jo that the Dow is not "over 50,000 dollars"? Thank you.)

A Bad Week For MAGA, And It's Only Monday

By Miss Kubelik

Will somebody tell Benedict Donald that Bad Bunny's spectacular Super Bowl halftime show crushed TPUSA's silly counter-program in the ratings? (Trump might not be surprised, since Bad Bunny was even spotted on screens at the Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party. Hilarious!)

In more bad news for Trump World today, Pam Bondi is scheduled to testify to the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and it should be quite the show. Ranking member Jamie Raskin (D-MD), who viewed some of the Epstein files today under the substandard conditions in which DOJ made them available, has said that there are plenty of unexplained redactions (and non-redactions), plus breezy chats about trafficking girls as young as nine. So gross. 

The Epstein fallout is causing a storm in the UK, but here in the United States it's more of a slow roll, which actually might be worse. It means a steady drumbeat of Epstein, Epstein, Epstein from now until November. The Trumpsters may have privately decided that their sacrificial lamb might be Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who has shamelessly lied about his Epstein connections and seems generally universally loathed. But MAGA should be warned: Cutting Lutnick loose won't be enough.

Meanwhile, things keep going not so great for the GOP at large. In Colorado, for example, the state party is deep in debt and its leaders are brawling. Financial woes and kerfuffles are unwelcome at any time, but it's particularly bad for Colorado Republicans given that this year they already have to defend one very flippable House seat, plus two others — Lauren Boebert's previous district, and her current one — that could easily be lost in a wave year.

Closer to (our) home, New York Republicans have more headaches on their hands. Bruce Blakeman, the presumed GOP opponent to Governor Kathy Hochul since Elise "Elsie" Stefanik dropped out of the race, was flatly told by Fulton County Sheriff Richard C. Giardino nope, nope, nopity-nope when he asked Giardino to be his running mate. (So, why float Giardino's name in the first place? This is the kind of stuff that happens when you don't know what you're doing.)

Not to be outdone, up in Elsie's soon-to-be-old Congressional stomping grounds of NY-21, two candidates hoping to replace her are in a cat fight to end all cat fights. Sticker Mule CEO Anthony Constantino has threatened Assemblyman Robert Smullen with a cease-and-desist letter over Smullen's accusations that Constantino is a tax cheat. Sticker Mule Anthony is big, big mad, but Smullen is firing back. "It should come as no surprise that Anthony Constantino is accusing me of lying about his tax record," he said. “This is typical of him. Unfortunately for him, I won’t be intimidated and the facts are clearly on our side."

Way to go, guys. Don't focus on keeping the seat in Mikey Johnson's column — just attack one another viciously during the primary. Speaking for Democrats, we love to see it. We cats PURR.

Is Pete Sunk?

By Miss Kubelik

We cats sensed a hint of throw-Hegseth-overboard in Benedict Donald's comments to the press about the Venezuelan boat bombings today.

(These would be the same boat bombings that members of Congress from both parties say they want investigated, because despite what our cringeworthy Defense Secretary thinks, killing people like that is not part of a manly warrior ethos but just plain, unadulterated murder.)

Anyhoo, Kegseth is now denying that he ordered our military to "kill them all," which means that someone has told him that his silly tweets could someday be Exhibit A in his upcoming war crimes trial.

And although Donald expressed support for Pete as he flew back from Florida this afternoon, he also told reporters he "wouldn't have wanted...a second strike." Translation: There is still a member of the White House staff who understands, and who has told Trump, that to take out survivors clinging to what was left of their bombed boat was an illegal act at best and a war crime at worst, and Donald is distancing himself. (Can't help wondering, though: Will that person's badge still work when he or she tries to clock in tomorrow?)

We agree with Senator Mark Kelly, whose profile the Trumpsters have raised by threatening to court-martial him. "We have a President who doesn’t understand the Constitution, who installed an unqualified Secretary of Defense," Kelly said. "I cannot think of a Secretary of Defense in the history of our country who is less qualified than Pete Hegseth. He should not be in this position. He should have been fired after Signalgate. Now, he should be fired for this." We cats PURR.

Texas, Hold On

By Hubie and Bertie

The Epstein Files dominated the headlines today, but there was potentially bigger news for all of us who care about democracy — a three-judge panel blocked Texas Republicans' mid-decade Congressional district map, saying the state must use its 2021 map in 2026.

The judge who authored the ruling was, HAHAHAHA, a Trump appointee. He wrote, "To be sure, politics played a role in drawing the 2025 map, but it was much more than just politics. Substantial evidence shows that Texas racially gerrymandered the 2025 map." The Trumpsters, as you'd expect, are screaming and crying to SCOTUS. But there could be snags.

The deadline for candidates to file for the 2026 Congressional primaries is Monday, December 8. Voters head for the polls on March 3.

Which means uncertainty abounds. Will the Supreme Court take up the Republicans' appeal? If so, will they rule quickly enough for this super-tight time frame? We're already 10 days into the filing period. 

"[Today's] ruling has set off a cascade of political maneuvering among members of both parties who had been operating under the notion that the Republican map would stick," The Texas Tribune explains. "Democrats, rather than facing retirement or primaries against fellow incumbents, are now freed up to run in their current districts. The bevy of Republican candidates who had signed up to run in districts newly drawn to favor them will now have to hope for an intervention from the Supreme Court or face far less favorable election prospects."

Kind of a mess, yes?

Republicans absolutely deserve all this. Instead of racing to obey Dear Leader and tearing up maps on their own, they should have asked the voters to approve their redistricting plan. Gee, who just did that very thing? California! Just imagine if the Texas map is blocked next year, but California's under Prop 50 isn't. We cats PURR.

The Senate Could Come Down To: Farmageddon

By Hubie and Bertie

What's worth a hill of beans in this crazy world? Well, maybe that the Trump Administration's fecklessness could cost them the Senate.

Stick with us here. It all has to do with soybeans and Argentina.

It turns out that Benedict Donald's Argentine bailout could actually be $40 billion, than $20 billion. Why is that important? Well, partly because he's propping up a nutcase in a foreign country at the same time that he's shutting off soybean exports to China, our biggest customer.

Last year, total US soybean exports to China were $12.6 billion. Now, with Donald's trade war, American soybean farmers are desperately looking for replacement customers.

"The US is now scrambling to find other markets for soybeans, either via new international buyers or a growing domestic biofuel industry," MinnPost reported. "Farmers...are feeling the squeeze."

This is terrible news for farmers, yes. But in terms of 2026, it's better news for Democrats who want to keep hold of Tina Smith's Minnesota Senate seat, plus Gary Peters's in Michigan, and Dick Durbin's in Illinois. Trump's trade-war idiocy could also help flip Republican Senate seats Iowa, Ohio, Indiana, Nebraska and Missouri — all of which are on the list of the nation's top-10 soybean producers.

Democrats are already running ads in farm country about this. Good. That makes us cats PURR.

Pobre Donaldo

By Zamboni

Without addressing the sheer ridiculousness of the Trump "campaign" for the Nobel Peace Prize, we cats are tickled pink that María Corina Machado of Venezuela won it this morning. (Even more amusingly, one of our fave Nobel candidates, Chef José Andrés, tweeted in Donald's face: "In a way, this is your win, too." That's going to drive the Spotlight-Hogger-in-Chief out of his tiny mind.)

Machado has been in hiding since Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro refused to accept the results of the country's election last year (sound familiar?). "Maduro remains in power and has retained the support of Venezuela's military and key international backers such as China and Russia," The Guardian reports. "Donald Trump has ordered a major naval buildup off Venezuela’s Caribbean coast in recent weeks, which some suspect could be a prelude to some kind of regime change operation."

Maybe, maybe not. But two things seem true this morning: Vladimir Putin is not happy with the Nobel Committee. And the Trumpsters will surely try to gin up any looming US conflict with Maduro's Venezuela to give Donald the "emergency" he needs to declare martial law. (Which he can't do anyway, by the way).

So, Trump is having to start his day not getting what he wants — an award that he only desires because a Black man who's made him feel puny and inadequate for years received it in 2009. And the MAGAts must already be gearing up for next year's "campaign," yes? We'll see how the Gaza thing works out. Because here's a reminder: Jimmy Carter won the Nobel in 2002 not for his efforts at Middle East peace, but for the international humanitarian work of The Carter Center over two decades. (That mission continues today.) We cats PURR.

Gott Im Himmel, Jimmy Kimmel !

By Sniffles

Well, it looks like the Nazis at ABC/Disney have backed down, at least for now. Jimmy Kimmel has been un-suspended, which means that America can look forward to a historic late-night monologue tomorrow. (We hope Jimmy hasn't agreed to apologize or anything to get back on the air. That would be distinctly terrible.)

Our two cents: It's interesting that they waited until the day after Sunday's lalapalooza and canonization in Arizona to reverse themselves. And let's not delude ourselves into thinking that the corporation bearing the name of a guy who testified as a friendly witness to HUAC in 1947 has suddenly started caring about free speech. Nope, they care about money — and wow, did they take it in the shorts over the last week.

Estimates are that they lost $4 billion in stock value (we'll see what the company reports), and so many people canceled their Disney+ and Hulu subscriptions that their website crashed. It used to be MAGA types who were railing at Walt's world for being "woke." Now, they've made everybody else so angry that they were facing an existential crisis.

So, please, everyone, don't rush to reinstate your ABC/Disney subscriptions or un-cancel your Magic Kingdom vacation or cruise. Let's wait and see what Kimmel has to say tomorrow night, and, more specifically, what Brendan Carr's reaction is. This is a victory for our economic clout, but we're still in dangerous waters here.

Yesterday we posted about the Smothers Brothers, and the hot water they got into over at CBS. Today we're reminded that late-night controversy also has a predecessor in Jack Paar, who walked off The Tonight Show in 1960 after NBC censors blocked him from telling a toilet joke. (Seriously.) The contrast with today is that it was Paar who was in the driver's seat. When he ended his protest three weeks later, he walked onstage to deliver his monologue. "As I was saying..."

Classic. Wonderful. We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: Sinclair Broadcast Group has responded to the un-suspension, stamping their feet and screaming that they will not air Kimmel on their 38 local stations. Good luck to your local advertisers, then. Hey, here's a thought: If you have a Sinclair station in your area, maybe watch what they show instead and contact each of the companies whose commercials you see — and read 'em the riot act. We cats PURR.)