Boehner Breaks Incredibly Bad

By Sniffles

You know how we cats have constantly berated the Obama Administration over their failure to communicate the benefits of the Affordable Care Act?

Well, they must have known something we didn't — as in, they didn't have to. Because Republicans are shining such a bright spotlight on healthcare reform, it now has an even bigger national platform than before.

In a weird sort of way, we imagine that's a good thing. Since most people aren't the political junkies we are, a lot of Americans who have already benefited from the ACA are probably wondering, "Gosh, what exactly is this Obamacare thing that Republicans are shutting down the government over?"

Which gives Democratic members of Congress, a couple of randomly sane Republicans, an army of well-informed punditheads and policy wonks, and myriad major news outlets many, many, many opportunities to explain. Such as:

• The Affordable Care Act was passed by both houses of Congress and signed into law by the President in 2010. It is not a bill. It is law, and it is being implemented in phases over several years.
• After considering umbrage-y legal challenges by sore-loser Republican attorneys general (like our own GOP gubernatorial candidate here in Virginia), the Supreme Court declared the Affordable Care Act constitutional in the summer of 2012.
• ACA benefits that have already taken effect include coverage for dependents through age 26, increased drug rebates for seniors, no more denial of coverage to children with pre-existing conditions, rebates to subscribers from insurers that spend too much money on overhead, and no more annual spending caps by insurers on your coverage. 
• Next up: The health insurance exchanges, which will allow the uninsured to buy healthcare coverage at affordable rates, will start enrolling people tomorrow.
• And oh, by the way: The Republican platform in last year's Presidential election called for the repeal of Obamacare — even though their nominee created the model for it in Massachusetts, and even though the individual mandate was originally a Republican idea. The Republicans, you probably recall, lost that election.

Those are just the basics. But if there's one fact we should all take away from today's shenanigans, it's this:

John Boehner could pass a "clean" continuing resolution in the House of Representatives tonight, with no Obamacare strings attached, by relying on the Democratic members and non-teabagger Republicans.

He could. And we wouldn't have a shutdown. But because he's the worst Speaker of the House in American history, he won't. We cats HISS.

Our Heroine: Heckler Interrupts Lame House GOP "Rally" On Why Americans Must Be Denied Affordable Healthcare

More Irony For The Party Of Lincoln

By Baxter

We cats hope that Washington resident Leonard Allen Jewler isn't allergic to us, because we're going to jump in his lap and PURR for his brilliant letter to The Washington Post:

"'We have just carried an election on principles fairly stated to the people. Now we are told in advance, the government shall be broken up, unless we surrender to those we have beaten...If we surrender, it is the end of us.' So said Abraham Lincoln in 1860 following his victory in the Presidential election. Southern states were demanding a 'compromise' on slavery in exchange for not seceding from the union...

"We just completed an election in 2012 in which Democrats won the White House, the Senate and a majority of the popular vote in the House 'on principles fairly stated to the people,' yet the Republicans...threaten to 'break up' the government (through defunding and defaulting on debt) unless the victors surrender to the losers.

"Has anything changed in 150 years?"

Yes, Mr. Jewler, and we know what it is: The party identification of the secessionists. Or should we say terrorists?

Log Cabin Logic

By Zamboni

We cats would like to spend our Sunday afternoon PURRING and rubbing the ankles of one Mr. David Lampo.

"Who?" We can hear you asking, so we'll tell you. The Divine Mr. L is on the national board of the Log Cabin Republicans, and while we rarely have good things to say about today's GOP, he has more than earned scratchy kisses from us.

That's because of his scathing piece in The Washington Post, warning Republicans, and particularly libertarians, off the Virginia GOP's Neanderthal ticket of Cuccinelli-Obenshain-Jackson.

"The last thing libertarians should want is a government based on what many conservatives refer to as 'biblical principles,' yet that seems to be what Cuccinelli wants to give us," Lampo writes. "These statist views are simply not consistent with the core Republican and libertarian values of limited government and personal freedom. Rather, they are the views of someone more interested in telling you what to do based on his beliefs rather than in protecting your right to make your own choices."

Meow. Mr. Lampo is exactly right, and so we are doing our part to spread his gospel to our fellow Virginians.

It also shows that the flurry of excitement earlier this year — you know, about how Rand Paul could bring libertarians back into the arms of the Republican Party? — is, ahem, not going to be as easy as Rand might think. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Log House for Cats, just $129!)

Catnip-aholics Anonymous

By Miss Kubelik

We cats feel like maybe we've overdosed on catnip. Everything is so, so weird.

World peace broke out today. Because we've all seen "Argo," we should be celebrating the fact that our President and the President of Iran had a direct, cordial telephone conversation for the first time since 1979. Having been there when demonstrators constantly chanted "Down, down, down with the Shah" in front of the White House, we cats think that's pretty amazing.

And of course, President Obama stepped up to the lectern in the press briefing room this afternoon to speak to the American people about it. But right on the heels of that, he had to spank the Republicans for acting like children — which is what they're doing.

Here's what's going on, in 25 words or less: The GOP is threatening to bring the world economy down because they don't want millions of Americans to get affordable health insurance.

Is that stranger than Obama chatting up Rouhani? We cats think maybe it is. Pass the catnip.

GOP Hates Cute Kittens, Wants To Wreck The Economy Over The Adorable Care Act

Cat Fight! — Republican Party vs. Itself, Part II

By Sniffles

Harry Reid tried to move the continuing resolution on the budget along in the Senate today — so that maybe, just maybe, the worst Speaker of the House in American history would have time to act on it.

But Mssrs. Cruz and Lee would have none of it. Which really made Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) mad.

"My two colleagues...have sent out e-mails around the world and turned this into a show," he said. "And that is taking priority over getting legislation back to the House so they can take action before the government shuts down."

The Club for Growth immediately called Corker the teabaggers' most hated of epithets, "a Democrat."

So, let's get this straight: The ground has shifted so far right in the GOP that, by even mildly standing up to terrorists like Cruz and Lee, the guy who ran the "Harold, call me" ad is the new Republican statesman.
 
Yep, a few more weeks like this one and the Grand Old Party will go the way of the Whigs. What on earth would Ronald Reagan say?

Appeasement, In The Wrong Time

By Baxter

With the uproar over Ted Cruz comparing his Republican colleagues to Nazi appeasers, we cats wonder if anybody noticed that his history was awry. Appeasement didn't happen in the 1940s, as Cruz alleged.

Neville Chamberlain declared "peace in our time" in 1938. Before the end of 1939, England was at war. By 1940, Chamberlain was out of office — and dead.

We're glad to see that Cruz got his money's worth for that fancy Ivy League education of his. Not.

Cat Fight! — Republican Party vs. Itself

By Zamboni

Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) recently joked that she'd like to grab some popcorn and a Diet Coke and watch the Republicans self-destruct. Boy, she wasn't kidding.

After the faux filibuster drew to a close today and the Senate voted unanimously to move forward on the Bill That Will Go Nowhere, the 2008 GOP nominee for President rose to speak.

"Elections have consequences, and those elections were clear," John McCain said. "A majority of the American people supported the President of the United States and renewed his stewardship of this country."

McCain made these remarks a bare two days after a news story — which he has not bothered to deny — alleged that he "effing hates Ted Cruz." We cats wonder if McCain realizes the irony. That's because by choosing the famous quitter from Alaska as his running mate, John McCain helped create Ted Cruz — who might not have won his Senate race three years ago had Sarah Palin not ridden to his rescue.

Meanwhile, the GOP self-immolation continues. A heretofore low-profile Senator from Arkansas is reported to have ripped into Cruz at the closed-door Senate Republican Conference yesterday. Who is leaking this stuff? That's a sign of GOP chaos as much as everything else.

The John-Boozman-screaming-at-Ted-Cruz story was the tipping point for us: We simply had to see what the crazies over at Free Republic were saying about the very, very conservative Republican who knocked off Blanche Lincoln in 2010. And, ta-da! — it's just about what you'd expect in a party that's destroying itself for no reason.

• "Who the h*** is Boozeman [sic]? Never heard of him."
• "Time to flood his email & phones with complaints."
• "Boozeman [sic] just inadvertently lit up the 'primary' sign."
• "Another toady for the Marxists wearing a GOP collar with a DNC tag."
• "Cruz has flushed out the Republican traitors and collaborators."

 Here's our favorite:

• "From today forward, every RINO senator in every state who runs for office should be primaried by Tea Party candidates. If the TP candidate loses, we don’t vote."

"We don't vote"? Love it! We cats PURR.

We Are No Longer Able To Stand... Ted Cruz

 Actually, we never could bear Mr. Fake Filibuster. But thankfully, he's Mitch McConnell's problem, and John Boehner's problem, and every other Republican who hates him's problem. And that's a lot of people!

UPDATE: And John Cornyn's problem, too!

Wrong Numbers

By Miss Kubelik

So, when has Ken "Let's Repeal the 19th Amendment But Let Fetuses Vote" Cuccinelli ever led in polling for the Virginia Governor's race? We cats think the answer is never — at least, not since people truly started paying attention.

Nevertheless, right wingers got all excited a few days ago, when a single outlier poll (yes, Quinnipiac, we're talking about you) had Terry McAuliffe ahead of the Cootch by only three points. Well, everybody can calm down, now. Tonight we're back to Terry leading Cuccinelli by — goodness gracious, eight.

And who's behind Cootchy's consistently sorry performance? Women.

This is not news. But it's interesting because, as Virginia voters in a key swing county, we cats have gotten some very weird phone calls lately. A mysterious group called "Independent Women's Voice" has been trying mighty hard to convince us to vote against Terry McAuliffe because of — wait for it — taxes.

We've gotten robocalls, and calls from live push pollers. Strangely, the callers are usually, um, men. But their target audience is clear: They only want to talk to us if we're women. And they want us to know that Terry McAuliffe supported the largest tax increase in Virginia history! Egad! (What they don't mention, of course, is that the tax in question is Transvaginal Bob McDonnell's. But never mind.)

This, they believe, is the smoking gun that will convince their fellow "independent women" to abandon McAuliffe for the Cootch.

Can they get any more clueless, rudderless or lame? We think not. After all, they're calling us, aren't they? We cats PURR.

Pope Refuses To Judge, GOP Goes Full Speed Ahead

By Sniffles

We cats are waiting for Pope Francis to weigh in on the Republicans snatching food out of low-income families' mouths, not to mention trying to deny millions of Americans healthcare coverage.

That's because the GOP's opposition to food stamps and Obamacare doesn't strike us as something that would be supported by the famous long-haired, bearded guy who 2,000 years ago said, "Give everything you have to the poor, and follow me."

And Pope Frankie is such a hot commenter right now. He's put the Christian tenets that the Republicans love to ignore right at the heart of an important international conversation, and we'd love to hear more from him. Gosh, we might even follow him on Twitter to see what happens next.

Don't get us wrong. We cats have tons of problems with the Catholic Church, even though (thank God) we have never belonged. To us, it's a bloated, corrupt, small-minded, hypocritical behemoth that's done more to oppress than liberate. The last 35 years, groaning with the intolerance of JPII and the Nazi, have been particularly horrifying to us. So count us as super-surprised when the former Jorge Mario Bergoglio suddenly decided it was not okay for the Vatican to hate on gays 24/7/365.

Who'd've thunk it? His Frankieness has not only delivered a bitch-slap to the Church — he's turned out to be more tolerant and compassionate than all 168 members of the Republican National Committee. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: He looks harmless, doesn't he? Don't turn your backs, GOP!)

While Some Argue We Aren't "The World's Policeman," The World Considers Policing Us

"What if we no longer thought of this as just a problem for America and, instead, viewed it as an international humanitarian crisis — a quasi-civil war, if you like, that calls for outside intervention?

"As citizens of the world, perhaps we should demand an end to the unimaginable suffering of victims and their families — the maiming and killing of children — just as America does in every new civil conflict around the globe."

—Henry Porter, "American Gun Use Is Out of Control," The Observer, September 21, 2013

"Thank Goodness for Obamacare," Part II

By Baxter

Once again, thanks to the incompetence of the Obama Administration, we cats are forced to remind people of the benefits of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

Sheesh. Of course, even if our side had mounted a far-reaching, effective communications campaign the moment the President signed the law, the Republicans would still be running disgusting ads like this. (They've sunk too low for any more surprises.) But there's no excuse for polls showing that people don't understand the good stuff healthcare reform is giving them. A "D-minus" grade to you, Organizing for Action!

Congressional Republicans, however, understand exactly what the ACA will do: Millions of Americans are about to get health coverage and have their lives change for the better. In the GOP playbook, that cannot be allowed to happen. So the clown car is careening out of control.

Unfortunately, though, all the chaos also means that anti-Obamacare Republicans aren't getting the tough questions that they should.

For example, Ken "I Hate Obamacare But I Also Want Government to Dictate Healthcare Decisions to Women and their Doctors" Cuccinelli, running for Governor in Virginia, was the first state attorney general to try to sue to stop healthcare reform. (He lost in the Supreme Court.) Cootchy did, however, just win a tainted endorsement from the Northern Virginia Technology Council's PAC. We cats are wondering why he's not getting questions like this:

• Mr. Cucinnelli, do you know what percentage of Northern Virginia technology workers are under the age of 26?
• Do you know how many of those under-26 workers are now covered under their parents' health insurance — thanks to Obamacare?
• Do you know what percentage of Northern Virginia technology workers have pre-existing medical conditions? Why do you think they should be denied the health insurance that Obamacare provides them?
• Do you know what percentage of Northern Virginia technology workers are women of childbearing age? Why do you think it should be the policy of state and federal governments to interfere in their private healthcare decisions?
• Why should tech companies move their businesses to Northern Virginia if they can't promise their employees unfettered access to the full range of health services and healthcare coverage?

Sigh. In a world infested with teabaggery, it's often easy for issues to get lost in the noise. Just remember this: On October 1, no matter what the clowns on Capitol Hill do, Americans without health insurance will be able to sign up for it. We cats PURR.

The New "Macaca"

By Zamboni

Goodness gracious. We cats realize that we've been writing about nothing but the Virginia gubernatorial race. But it's been so entertaining lately that we just can't help ourselves.

Honest! You can't turn your back on the Old Dominion for a second without something wild and wacky happening.

Today, it's the news that the chef accused by Transvaginal Bob McDonnell of stealing food from the Governor's mansion's kitchen — who then got his revenge by alerting authorities to all those pesky gifts to the McDonnells from Jonnie Williams — will plead no contest, pay a fine and be, essentially, off the hook.

Not so for Transvaginal Bob, however. "Giftgate" still lurks menacingly out there, with no clues yet as to whether McDonnell and his greedy, grasping cheerleader wife will be indicted, and get their just deserts. (Or since it's "the chef case," is that spelled "desserts"?)

Meanwhile, on the Cootchy front, more sad news. It seems that Cuccinelli had a rally the other day — attended by 250 people, wow! — at which a Loudon County Republican leader decided it would be a good idea to tell an anti-Semitic joke. (See video, above.)

This kind of thing is always revolting. But it's particularly inappropriate when we've just observed the solemn day of Yom Kippur, and are now hurtling into Sukkot and Simhas Torah. In other words, we're still in the meaty part of the Jewish holidays. But there were no non-Gentiles in the "massive" Cootchy crowd who knew that.

Team Cuccinelli, though, immediately denied knowing the joke teller. You be the judge: This twit from Loudon County not only is his Congressional district's GOP chair — he nominated Cootchy for Governor at their state party convention. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: We cats love this follow-up from the Washington Free Beacon: "The 'leader of the Jewish faith' could not be reached for comment because he or she does not exist."

She IS A Doctor, And She Plays One On TV

Other political ads feature actors playing fictional characters. But this woman is for real. We cats think that says something.

Another Red-Letter Day for Ken Cuccinelli

By Miss Kubelik

We cats think it's pretty clear that to be in the Republican Party today, you have to be a gun nut.

The GOP, completely in lockstep with the child killers over at the NRA, reflexively opposes anything that they think might infringe, even in an eensy-weensy way, on their sacred Second Amendment. (Check out their party platform if you don't believe us.)

Therefore, we think it's hilarious that today is the day that Baby Marco Rubio came to Virginia to campaign for Ken Cuccinelli for Governor.

Baby Marco's little visit will get zero coverage. Why? Because some guy shot 12 people to death at the Navy Yard this morning. Ironic, yes?

Goodness gracious. Things just aren't going Cootchy's way, are they? Despite an apparent win of the Northern Virginia Technology Council's PAC endorsement, Ken just isn't happy. He's inexplicably calling Democratic opponent Terry McAuliffe "a bully" instead of basking in the glow of the NVTC's nod.

Maybe he realizes that an accomplishment marked by an asterisk is nothing to be excited about. (Just ask Roger Maris.) Or maybe he wants to distract the media from the fact that Republican Lt. Governor Bill Bolling was one of the elected officials who urged the NVTC not to endorse him. That, we cats think, was the real news coming out of this weekend.

You know what else we think? That Ken Cuccinelli's sense of entitlement has been upset by all this messy pushback. As a Republican, he probably felt he deserved any business group's support with no questions asked. But he didn't get this one easily.

Meanwhile, POLITICO is running stories that he's blowing the election. Not the kind of stuff that a guy who's already been to Iowa expected. We cats PURR.

Technological Difficulties

By Sniffles

Something very fishy is going on in the Northern Virginia Technology Council. On Friday, its political wing allegedly decided to endorse Ken "I Never Met a Woman As Smart As a Fetus" Cuccinelli for Governor, but then pulled back on its planned announcement.

The implication is that Terry McAuliffe supporters in the organization complained. But although that may seem benign on the surface, we cats are highly suspicious.

First, why would the Council decide to unveil its endorsement on a Friday? As previously noted, that's a dumb day to get publicity — unless you're trying to hide something.

And, also as previously noted, this past Friday evening happened to mark the start of Yom Kippur. Which sounds like a real news dump to us — as in, some Republicans on the Council thought they could slip this Cootchy nod by. Guess again.

We cats simply have to assume that the women, the gays, the straight couples with exciting sex lives, and all the other clear-thinking Council members caught wind of this and raised holy heck. Or maybe it was just tech-firm owners who despair of ever being able to lure talented employees to Northern Virginia under Governor Cootchy.

Either way this drama plays out — whether the Council proceeds with the Cootch, or switches to Terry, or ultimately declines to endorse — we cats predict that someone will resign in the end. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: The Council has just announced it will stick with the Cootchy nod but tried to paper it over by saying, "Well, we recognize that not every one of our members agrees with this." Gosh. If we were the Cootch, we think we'd want something stronger.

We're Lapping This Stuff Up

By Baxter

Bad day in Cootchy World. And the Republicans must have known that at least some of this was coming, because why else would they have let slip the Rich Galen news as Yom Kippur began?

(This is what Rachel Maddow calls "the Friday night news dump." As she did again last night. She just didn't go on to specify which Friday it was.)

In the meantime, the whispers about Ken Cuccinelli's flimsy campaign, his anemic fundraising and his awkward handling of his own Jonnie Williams gift scandal have become a roar — and not a dull one, either. This makes us cats PURR, especially about the fundraising. We've felt for awhile now that too little attention had been paid to Cootchy's lackluster performance in that arena, partly because it was masked by big contributions from the Republican Governors Association.

The other funny thing is the report that the Cootch Campaign is thinking of running 30-minute ads this fall. This is hilarious. Aside from Cuccinelli's true believers, who is going to watch that crap? You don't air ads that length to try to change the trajectory of a race. You do it to seal the deal when you're already ahead. Just ask Barack Obama.

We can't help asking if all these deficiencies in fundraising, strategy and organization might not have emerged earlier if the Forces of Cootch had allowed themselves to be nominated in a democratic fashion — a primary, not a teabagger-rigged party convention. Ah, well. You know what they say about spilled milk.

P.S. One more note on Rich Galen leaving Transvaginal Bob McDonnell's defense team: He's protesting mightily that nothing is wrong — he was going to depart around Labor Day anyway. Which means that everything is fine, right? No more revelations, no indictments?

Hm. McDonnell and his greedy, grasping cheerleader wife will be meeting with prosecutors again next week. If we take Galen at his word — which we're not saying we are — we hope that any more adverse developments will be treated like the bombshells they'll be.

We Cats Would Like To Know...

Why this family is supposed to be "divisive"?

Sorry, Joe (or whatever your name is). It didn't work for Bloomberg, and it won't work for you.

"Thank Goodness For Obamacare"

By Zamboni

We cats understand why the Republicans are trying to throw everything but the kitchen sink at Obamacare. Because pretty soon, a whole lot of people are going to benefit from it. And we can't have that — can we?

For those of you who need a healthcare reform primer, here's a quick recap.

Already Taken Effect:

• Children cannot be denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition.
• Young adults up to age 26 can be covered under their parents' health plan.
• Insurers must cover more preventive services (think colonoscopies).
• Insurers can't suddenly drop you if you get sick.
• Insurers can't place lifetime dollar limits on your coverage.
• Medicare enrollees get a 50 percent discount on brand-name prescription drugs, and a 21 percent discount on generics.

Soon To Take Effect:

• Americans without health insurance can get coverage through health insurance marketplaces. Enrollment starts October 1 and coverage takes effect January 1.

Aha! So this is why the GOP is freaked out. Come October 1 — and definitely come January 1 — Americans who are newly enrolled in health coverage will realize that the Republican Party is trying to take it away from them.

Shame on the White House for not communicating the benefits of the Affordable Care Act better. But since the really good stuff is about to kick in, we cats are happy to help.

Listen up, America: The GOP is trying to deprive you of something that settled law says you deserve. They're even willing to shut the government down to achieve that.

Don't let them get away with it.

Dear Harry Reid: So Far, Good News

By Miss Kubelik

We cats love milk, and we're also eternal optimists. So we prefer to look at this photo — and the 2014 fight for the US Senate — as half full, not half empty. Here's why.

Two interesting stories recently caught our attention. First, a new poll shows Democratic Senator Kay Hagan of North Carolina, up for re-election next year, beating all comers by double digits. Second, 150 years after the Civil War, the Republican Party in Alaska is having one of its own.

Those are just two pieces of a puzzle that's taking shape for 2014 and which, at this point, we cats think looks pretty promising for our side of the aisle. Here, in no particular order, is a quick recap.

• North Carolina — Hagan is not only performing better than anyone imagined, but several likely strong GOP challengers have taken a pass on the race.
• Alaska — Democratic Senator Mark Begich is also racking up more impressive numbers than people thought. And, as noted, the Republican primary is a cluster-F-word.
• Kentucky — Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes, after a rocky start, is running stronger than expected.
• Georgia — Michelle Nunn is moving forward, setting up her campaign, while the Republicans still have not coalesced around a candidate.
• Iowa — Still no credible GOP candidate for Tom Harkin's seat.
• Michigan — Ditto, for Carl Levin's seat.
• Minnesota — Ditto, for Al Franken's seat.
• Tennessee — Incumbent Republican Lamar Alexander, despite having raised a ton of early money and having won the endorsement of nearly every elected official, has a primary.
• Montana — The GOP primary field has been cleared, but Congressman Steve Daines still hasn't declared. What's the holdup? We cats think there's more here than Republicans are admitting to.
• Texas — John Cornyn, despite having prostituted himself to the teabaggers, has not made them happy. Watch this race.
• New Jersey — Cory Booker is going to demolish what's-his-name, who has further damaged the GOP's "reboot" with his hateful statements on gays and race.
• Arkansas and Louisiana — Democratic Senators Pryor and Landrieu have both raised a ton of money and are not rolling over yet.

Nope, it's not time yet to declare victory in 2014. But right now, we don't think we'd change places with the Republicans. We'd still Rather Be Us Than Them.

The More Things Change, The More They Change (Part II)

By Sniffles

We cats don't know about you, but we're watching the coverage of the rapid-fire developments on Syria with wry grins and shakings of our furry heads.

Sometimes, the inside-the-Beltway media just make us want to hack up a hairball. They're all agog about how Washington is "off-script," and how will the President handle his speech tonight, and what about John Kerry, and Mitch McConnell, and Charlie Rose, and blahblahblah. Oh, how the punditheads hate it when they're not in control of the narrative.

You know what? President Obama will be just fine. How do we know? He told folks on Capitol Hill today that he had no expectations of moving the polls 20 points with his speech. "I'm good," he said. "But I'm not that good." We laughed out loud.

The bottom line is this: It is so much better to have this confusion, this genuine response to events in real time, this possibility of diplomacy over an airstrike, and this nail-biting, what-will-happen-next sense of drama — than to have a replay of what happened 10 years ago: The media in duplicitous lockstep with a Republican Administration bent on going to war on a lie.

Just sayin'.

Cootchy Tries To Make Amends, Fails

By Baxter

So Ken "I Never Met a Fetus I Didn't Think Had More Rights Than The Woman Carrying It" Cuccinelli thinks he can get away with donating $18,000 to charity.

This, he believes, will get him out from under the Jonnie Williams scandal that may or may not indict his boss, Transvaginal Bob McDonnell, and Transvaginal Bob's greedy and grasping cheerleader wife. However, we cats have bad news for the Cootch: Fail. Epic fail.

The right thing to do is not to give the money to charity. The right thing to do is to give the $18,000 back to the crook Williams. And then make a donation of an equal or greater sum to a charity.

Of course, since Jonnie the Crook makes fake health products, the least Cuccinelli could have done was give to a group that provides some public health benefit to the underprivileged. We have checked the website of the alleged recipient, and it appears that it does. However, we have this nagging feeling that they're not really big on reproductive rights. You be the judge.

But Cootchy's most egregious transgression is in the field of grammar. "This isn't money I had laying around," he whined. "Like most people, I can't just cut an $18,000 check."

No, Cootch, it wasn't money that you had "laying," but LYING, around. Funny how you got that word wrong. You know, "lying."

Read more here: http://www.thenewstribune.com/2013/09/10/2777184/cuccinelli-gives-18k-value-of.html#storylink=cpy

Our Sarah Is Way Better Than Their Sarah

This is the perfect video for a day on which George Zimmerman was detained for punching his father-in-law and waving a gun. But not charged, of course.

Fool Us Twice... You Can't Get Fooled Again

By Zamboni

How very interesting. Jeb! Bush is coming to Virginia to campaign for the wild-eyed, far-right, hateful and extreme Ken Cuccinelli for Governor. We cats find this fascinating for a whole bunch of reasons. Let us explain.

First, if you live and breathe politics at all, you must be intensely aware of the Republican establishment's panting desire to position Little Jebbie Bush as Mr. Moderate — the guy who will save the party from its crazy fringe in 2016. (We've got news for you, GOP: Your "crazy fringe" is the party now. Sorry.)

But, wait a minute. Little Jebbie — a.k.a. "Mr. Moderate" — has recently served as THE star attraction at a big fundraiser to kick off the re-election of Mr. Mean himself, Governor Paul LePage of Maine. So Jebbie showing up next for the anti-sodomy, anti-woman religious freak Ken Cuccinelli in Virginia is no surprise — at least, to us.

That's because we refuse to have the wool pulled over our eyes where Little Jebbie is concerned. The Bushes have always, always cozied up to the so-called moderate wing of the Republican Party — while completely and utterly toeing the line of the nutbags.

We well remember Poppy Bush deriding "the spotted owl crowd," for example, so he could suck up to the Reaganites he needed in 1988 and 1992. It's been the same for that execrable family ever since. So if Jeb! is obviously comfortable associating his brand with the most mean-spirited, misogynist, racist, xenophobic, anti-worker, anti-science leaders of the real Republican Party, call us totally not surprised.

We cats know that Ken Cuccinelli cannot be our Governor. It is unacceptable. So we will get to work this week for Terry McAuliffe. In the meantime, we HISS.

Syria: Some Gripes (And A Prediction)

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are getting disgusted with the politics of the Syria story. Here are just a few reasons why:

We find Maureen Dowd's use of the "Barry" moniker distasteful. We've visited enough paranoid, right-wing corners of the Internet to know that that's how the haters refer to the President. So it's unseemly to see a columnist with the imprimatur of The New York Times joining that dubious crowd. (Maybe she's still smarting over the fact that during the 2008 campaign, Obama addressed her as "Dowd"?)

And where, we ask, is that pain in the ass Benjamin Netanyahu? We know he thinks Obama should just order the damn airstrikes, but we also know that Syria using chemical weapons is a bad, bad thing for Israel. So is Bibi calling his good buddies, the House and Senate Republicans, and urging them to support US action? And if not, why not?

On that note, we thought that the GOP's religious right wingers were all huge fans of Israel. So why aren't they beating down the White House doors, screaming for airstrikes? (Unless that alleged love of Israel is eclipsed by their hatred for Obama...)

Finally, if Congress turns the President down, we have the following predictions:

• The airstrikes won't take place.
• Something even more awful will happen.
• The Republicans will blame Obama.

We cats HISS.

The More Things Change, The More They Change

By Sniffles

Gosh, remember the days when Democrats were supposed to be panty-waisted girly men too scared to defend America and too soft to exercise US power abroad?

Well, maybe you don't. We cats do. For the benefit of those of you who are just kittens, we'll explain: This unfortunate reputation arose from Democratic opposition to the Vietnam War (even though it was one of our own Presidents who waged it for awhile). Then, the Republicans took it and ran with it, painting war heroes like Senator George McGovern — who flew a helluva lot more bombing missions than armchair patriots like Dick Cheney ever did — as "peaceniks" and weak sisters.

Meanwhile, GOP guys were the manly men who wore codpieces and could be depended on to defend America — even though they'd ignored that Presidential Daily Brief from August 6, 2001 and nearly 3,000 people died as a result.

Well, those days are over. Because who would have thought we'd have such a badass Democratic President as Barack Obama? The third Commander-in-Chief to win the Nobel Peace Prize (we're counting President Gore here) has killed Osama bin Laden, bombed Libya, and now wants to go after Bashar al-Assad. A shrinking violet he is not.

We cats are not debating the question of Syria, although unlike other lefties we're not yet rushing to condemn the President's plan. (Our memories reach back beyond Iraq and Afghanistan to the Clinton Administration's successful action in Kosovo, where other, equally appalling atrocities were taking place.) We just think that whether or not Congress approves an airstrike, it's going to be tough for awhile for Republicans to accuse Democratic Presidents of being military milquetoasts.

(PHOTO: "Mission accomplished," ugh.)

Transvaginal Bob McDonnell Still Hates Women, But Caves On Gays

By Baxter

Wow! Maybe it's the fact that he's being hounded to death by federal investigators, but Governor "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell of Virginia has just had a personality change.

He's announced that, following Defense Department policy in the wake of the Supreme Court's marriage-equality decisions this summer, the Virginia National Guard will offer health insurance and other benefits to same-sex couples. And he's written a letter to super-right-wing Delegate Robert Marshall to tell him so.

We cats think this is great. Not just because Transvaginal Bob might be trying to look like a good guy while the feds decide whether or not to indict him — but because he's apparently recognized that Money Rules All. “Ninety percent of the funding for the state National Guard comes from the federal government, so we intend to follow all of the DOD guidelines," he told reporters.

We cats rushed to Free Republic to read the fringe-y Christian outrage — but sadly, the Freeps haven't gotten wind of this yet. Stay tuned, though, because we're sure that they will.

So! Our only other question is: When will the press ask Republican gubernatorial candidate Ken "I-Love-Fetuses-But-Hate-the-Women-Who-Carry-Them" Cuccinelli how he feels about his boss's decision on gay Guards? Surely he can't approve!

This is going to be a very interesting election. We cats PURR.

Oh, To Have Been A Fly On The Wall (Or A Cat Under The Table)

By Zamboni

We cats have not yet posted on Syria. Mainly because we had no urge to join what the Grinch Who Stole Christmas would call "The noise, noise, noise." We decided to wait it out a bit, to see how the politics played. It's changeable, and it's still not over. But so far, we think it's turning out differently than most of the so-called "experts" expected.

In the meantime, we get to be treated to various fun spectacles, such as John Boehner leaving the White House with a statement of support for Barack Obama. (Watch it quick, because that won't happen soon again.)

And we're doing major flashbacks on President Clinton's action in Kosovo — which stopped the slaughter of civilians and which, thanks to follow-up diplomacy, resolved itself peaceably. And which, of course, the Republicans opposed because — well, because President Clinton wanted it. Everything old is new again.

But as one of our faithful correspondents has written us, nothing tops the vision of John McCain and his BFF, Lady Lindsey Graham, visiting the White House and being forced to consult not just with the President but with his National Security Adviser, Susan Rice.

We cats well remember that some months back, McCain criticized Rice, an Oxford grad and Phi Beta Kappa, as "not very bright." This would be the same John McCain who left the Naval Academy 894th out of a class of 899. And who, of course, picked Sarah Palin to be a 71-year-old cancer survivor's heartbeat away from the Presidency.

We cats are enjoying the show, but we still HISS.

(IMAGE: Left to right: Susan Rice, buffoon, President Obama, buffoon.)

Lest We Furr-get: Frist, Schiavo and End of Life

By Miss Kubelik

And now, the award for Pure Republican Chutzpah Without A Trace Of Irony goes to former Senate Majority Leader (and cat killer) Bill Frist.

Yep, the heart surgeon who diagnosed Terri Schiavo as non-vegetative — not from directly examining her, mind you, but from viewing a couple of hours of edited videotape — is now writing in The Tennessean about end-of-life care. And specifically saying that the nation should have a meaningful conversation about it.

Incredible! We cats thought we couldn't be surprised by anything else the other side of the aisle dishes out, but this one really takes the cake.

Let's take a moment to wander down Memory Lane, shall we? And recall how totally nutzoid the Republican Congress went over Michael and Terri Schiavo's private, personal wishes, and passed a special law to re-insert Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube? The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived even made a special trip back to DC from Texas to sign the freaking thing. (And should Jeb! Bush decide to run for President in 2016, this story will be fertile ground for opposition researchers.)

Bill Frist had no control over House maniacs like Tom DeLay, but he could have shut all that Schiavo nonsense down in the Senate. Instead, his reckless diagnosis poured gasoline on the fire. And set the stage for much of the GOP idiocy over the Affordable Care Act. (Yes, Sarah Palin, we're talking about you.)

Yet, completely un-self-consciously — and without an apology for the mayhem he helped cause — Frist says in his recent op-ed, "There are no death panels. End of life is not a political issue but a personal one."

We have no idea why Frist thinks he can get away with such bald hypocrisy. Unless he's counting on reporters not to ask him about it. Which, considering the sad state of journalism these days, is quite possible. We cats HISS.

A Change We Could Believe In

We're heading into the meaty part of the hurricane season this Labor Day. But somebody worked very hard on this most excellent video, so we're sharing.