The Magic City Delivers

By Miss Kubelik

Tuesday was another red-letter day for Benedict Donald. By afternoon, The Atlantic had published new coverage about his physical and mental decline, just as he was about to hit the road for one of his "shows" in Pennsylvania. But Governor Josh Shapiro had pre-butted all of Trump's insane claims about how good the economy is. (As anyone who grocery shops or is looking for a job knows, it isn't.) Nice move, Josh.

Then, by evening, another electoral earthquake had shaken Donald and the GOP: Democrat Eileen Higgins won the Miami Mayor's race, beating the Trump-endorsed Republican by 60 to 40 percent. 

The race is officially nonpartisan, but figuring out the candidates' party ID is easy as pie. And it's panic-button time for the Trumpsters. Last time around, in 2021, the incumbent (Republican) mayor was re-elected with nearly 80 percent of the vote. Going from 80 percent to 40 means that yesterday, Republicans lost one out of every two Miami votes. 

Move along, nothing to see here, LOL.

So Miami gets its first Democratic mayor since 1997 — and that's after Democrats flipped the mayor's race in Jacksonville in 2023. Chef's kiss is that Higgins's margin of victory was even larger than the resounding wins we had in Virginia and New Jersey last month. Too big to rig means all the election-fraud winds go right out of the Trumpster's sails.

"Midterms will be a bloodbath," tweeted Trumpy nutcase Laura Loomer. Sounds great, Laura! We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: From Orson Welles's classic film Citizen Kane, which was not about Miami but is pretty timeless, 1941)

Floating On Air

By Zamboni

Democrats, it's been a rough year for us, and then some. If you're feeling good today — and you should — you deserve to. Be sure to enjoy it, because the midterms are next and we have work to do.

But first, a couple more thoughts about yesterday.

Preacher of the House Mike Johnson, who is making Kevin McCarthy look like an accomplished statesman these days, is trying to brush off the 2025 election as just "blue states and blue cities" voting blue.

Nice try, Mikey. Pennsylvania is a blue state? We thought it went for Benedict Donald last year. Georgia isn't red? Democrats ousted Republican PSC incumbents by double digits there. The famously "blue" Mississippi saw the GOP lose its supermajority in the state legislature. And every single county in Virginia — which elected a Republican governor in 2021 — shifted to the Democrats. Every. Single. County.

Meanwhile, up in Canada, Prime Minister Mark Carney's minority government is trying to get a budget deal done. If they can't, it's possible that Canadians could be looking at another snap election, which nobody wants — except maybe for Tory leader Pierre Poilievre (and we don't know why... to get his ass kicked again?). Members of the Conservative caucus may be seeing the writing on the wall: One MP from Nova Scotia crossed the floor (as they say) yesterday to caucus with the Liberals. He hinted there may be more to come. "I would suggest that there probably are those that are in the same boat," he said.

One down. Just two to go, and Carney's got a majority. We cats have our paws crossed, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Detail from The Madhouse, by Kent Monkman)

Wipeout.

By Baxter

If she was even considering it, maybe Usha Vance should NOT convert to Christianity now. Not only did her awful hubby and Benedict Donald get repudiated across the country last night, but hubby's half-brother was squished in the Cincinnati mayoral race by 56 points! (The winner, incumbent Democrat Aftab Pureval, is of Tibetan descent, and let's just say he doesn't go to Mass on Sunday.)

And should Elise "Elsie" Stefanik rethink her run for New York Governor? Yes, New York City isn't the rest of the state. But Stefanik's nemesis, Governor Kathy Hochul, handled her endorsement of Mayor-to-be Zohran Mamdani like a political pro, looking like a winner this morning. And oh, by the way — Democrats swept our town races here in little old Wilton. Saratoga County is definitely Upstate.

Republicans must be cowering. Democrats won by huge margins: Mikie Sherrill in New Jersey by plus-13, Abigail Spanberger in Virginia by plus-16, and Yes on Prop 50 in California by 64 to 36 percent. Mainers turned away a voter-suppression ballot measure by 28 points, and Pennsylvanians retained their three State Supreme Court justices by 61 to 39. Mamdani broke 50 percent in NYC's three-way race. And in Georgia — Georgia — Democrats took two Public Service Commission races by 26 points. No wonder Marjorie Taylor Greene has been furiously backpedaling away from Trump and MAGA lately.

For us, though, the election's big story is Virginia, and not just because we used to live there. Spanberger's huge win pulled off a trifecta in the top three races, and helped Democrats swell their House of Delegates majority from 51 seats to at least 64. This is insane. Expect the Commonwealth to redraw their maps if the GOP's Trumpy gerrymandering continues. And we can't wait for Larry Sabato's take on it all. (He must be writing furiously as we speak.) We cats PURR.

Hot News From The Old Dominion

By Sniffles

Well, it looks like Abigail Spanberger has managed to win the Virginia Governorship without those crucial votes from Kentucky. Whew! The only questions now are: 1) the size of her margin, 2) whether she'll be able to drag Attorney General candidate Jay Jones over the finish line, and 3) how many seats in the House of Delegates she'll help flip.

Fun fact: Abigail Spanberger was the Democrat who beat Dave Brat for his seat in Congress back in 2018. And of course you'll recall that Brat was the dude who stunned everyone by ousting the supremely entitled Eric "Young Guns" Cantor four years earlier in the Republican primary. It all seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, State Senator Ghazala Hashmi has been elected Virginia's next Lt. Governor, beating that very weird, Nazi-porn-loving talk show host, John Reid. Polls had tightened recently, but as of right now Hashmi has a comfortable eight-point margin. She'll be the first Muslim woman in the country to win a statewide election. (Handy reminder to check the results in New York City when voting ends there at 9.)

We cats are also keeping our eyes on New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and — of course — Prop 50 in California. But for the moment, we're toasting Spanberger and Hashmi, and pondering the potential symbolism of the death of Dick Cheney. Finding out on a good-news Election Day that Cheney had checked out feels about right. He and George W. Bush only won in 2000 by 537 suspicious votes ("Jews for Buchanan!"), and because, as we all know, SCOTUS stopped the Florida vote count. It's heartbreaking to think how different our lives could be if that Presidential election had gone the other way. We cats HISS.

Oh, What A Night

By Miss Kubelik

We cats had to search long and hard to find bad news for Democrats last night. Here are our takes on election results from around the country.

Kentucky — Andy Beshear's victory is such a repudiation of Mitch McConnell. Cameron was his guy (a former Mitch legal counsel). He was the candidate who was going to prove that Mitch wasn't a racist, that Republicans are best for Black people (at least, for those with a lot of ambitions and white wives). And Beshear even flipped Letcher County in Appalachia, a county Benedict Donald won in 2020 by almost 60 points.

Virginia — How delicious that Glenn Youngkin doubled down on an abortion ban right before Election Day. It just reminded Virginia voters of their buyers' remorse from 2021: Back then, they didn't think Glenn would do all the crap on the Republican agenda, and when he did, they said, "OMG, we made a mistake! He's making Transvaginal Bob McDonnell look reasonable!" So now, Youngkin joins Ron DeSantis in the Idiots In Silly Vests Doing Badly Club. What's gonna happen to all that Youngkin swag that the Republican elites were stockpiling for 2024?

(Special shout-out to all the Biden-Harris-endorsed Democratic candidates who won — and not just in NoVa, where all those federal employees live. Seems like an embrace from POTUS and VPOTUS is worth something after all.)

Ohio — Have Republicans in red states figured out that they might need abortions too? Not only did Buckeye State voters enshrine reproductive rights in the state constitution last night, but 18 counties that voted for Benedict Donald in 2020 joined them. "I don't like the idea of old white men telling me what I should be able to do," one Republican woman in Springfield, Ohio, told The Washington Post. "They've never been in that position." You got that right, sister. GOP Governor Mike DeWine and his forced-birth cronies will no doubt attempt to end-run the voters' will. At this point, we kind of hope he tries.

Mississippi — Tate Reeves may have won, but he won ugly. At least nine Hinds County polling places — home to the state capital, Jackson (nearly 83 percent Black) — ran out of ballots with thousands still in line to vote. A circuit judge refused to keep polls open until 9 pm. This is just out-and-out voter suppression, and it's the only way Republicans know they can win.

But even though Brandon Presley lost, he pushed Reeves hard — harder than any Republican has probably experienced in that godforsaken state. He made Medicaid expansion and access to healthcare a real issue. He convinced Black voters to embrace a moderate white Democrat. And most important, he made national Republicans spend money in Mississippi.

New Jersey — Whut? Yes! Although the Garden State wasn't at the top of any talking head's nattering list, Republicans were eviscerated in Trenton last night as well. "They had a pretty friendly map," reports the New Jersey Monitor, "yet the GOP couldn't gain one seat in the legislature. Instead, Democrats gained five in the Assembly and held onto their 25-15 majority in the Senate." The big shocker was a Democratic Assembly win in deep-red Ocean County. The Republicans thought they could ride hatred of gays and trans kids to victory, and they were deeply wrong. We cats PURR.

Virgil, Quick Come See, There Goes Robert E. Lee

By Baxter

MAGA jackasses are having babies over the fact that the Robert E. Lee statue from Charlottesville, Virginia, has not only been removed, but also melted down. Cool, cool. Folks, nobody's trying to erase history. What's being erased is a bunch of early-20th-century white supremacists trying to dictate to voters of color that they should know their place.

The important fact here is not just that the Lee statue helped foment the deadly 2017 protests in Charlottesville. (You know, the ones about which Benedict Donald said there were "very fine people on both sides"?) It's that Robert E. Lee was a traitor to the United States, and nothing in Virginia or anywhere else in America should have been named after him. No statues should have been erected 60 years after the Civil War to intimidate Black Americans.

But what the MAGAts are forgetting is that Lee's demise goes far beyond having his statue destroyed. Lee was so persona non grata back in the day that the US Army seized his home, the Custis-Lee Mansion, during the Civil War, and eventually turned it into Arlington National Cemetery. It's a place where patriots who didn't rebel against the United States — in fact, who gave the last full measure of devotion — rest in peace.

Our history is fraught with stuff. Maybe we didn't totally realize it in the sunshine of the postwar era, but we're definitely grappling with it now. There is no understanding of American history without a complete appreciation of the Black experience. If iPhone video had been around during the antebellum period, things would be a lot different now, wouldn't they? In the meantime, we cats are glad that Lee has been melted down, and we PURR.

22 Years In The Hoosegow

By Zamboni

We cats were hoping that Enrique Tarrio would get sentenced to more than 20 years in prison today, even though he wasn't physically at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. (He was barred from DC on January 5 for tearing down and burning a BLM banner from a Black church the month before. But if that judge hadn't banned him, you know he would have been leading the charge.)

And now, Tarrio is the "proud" (pun intended) owner of the longest January 6 sentence yet: 22 years. Yay! That'll teach him to try to cancel our vote (and 81 million others).

It's only Tuesday, and the day after Labor Day to boot, but the week is shaping up pretty well. With this sentence, Tarrio — who was mighty contrite in court this afternoon, by the way — won't see the light of day until he's in his 60s. Jury selection is underway for Peter Navarro, who, if he's convicted of contempt of Congress, could get locked up for a year. The Republicans' ridiculous redistricting map in Alabama was struck down. And in Texas, the Ken Paxton impeachment trial has begun. All great news.

Meanwhile, you have to wonder how the GOP would react if a whole bunch of Democrats had posed for selfies with a convicted felon and insurrectionist. The screaming would probably never stop — unless you take into account that their 2024 nominee for President will be one, too. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Ossified Mitch Edition

By Hubie and Bertie

So much news happening this week! In the old days, the lead-up to Labor Day weekend would be sleepy and getting sleepier — but not anymore. Here are some jaw-dropping developments that have captivated us (and, we assume, you) lately.

For the second time in two months, evil SCOTUS-packer Mitch McConnell seized up during a press avail. Clearly something neurological is going on. Can you imagine if this had happened to Joe Biden? You'd never hear the end of the Republican screaming. (McConnell, by the way, is slightly older than Biden, by about nine months.) So if Mitch calls it quits, can Kentucky's Democratic Governor, Andy Beshear, nominate GOP AG Daniel Cameron as his replacement? That would certainly clear the field for the next gubernatorial race, LOL.

Hurricane Idalia mostly missed Tallahassee today, but did manage to split a 100-year-old tree right down the middle, half of which fell on the Governor's mansion. With that, we'd say that Ron DeSantis's luck has officially run out.

Yesterday the White House hosted a special event to announce the first 10 drugs whose prices Medicare will negotiate with pharmaceutical companies: Eliquis, Jardiance, Xarelto, Januvia, Farxiga, Entresto, Enbrel, Imbruvica, Stelara and Flasp. Manufacturers raked in $3.4 billion in out-of-pocket costs for these drugs just last year alone. Well, kiss it all goodbye, Big Pharma. And let's not forget that the right to negotiate was made possible by the Biden-Harris Inflation Reduction Act — which no Republican voted for. (They'll try to take credit for it anyway.)

The biggest news today was probably the decision in defamation case of Ruby Freeman, et. al. v. Rudolph V. Giuliani. Fittingly, the judge ruled in the plaintiffs' favor. It's unclear how Rudy will be able to pay the damages, and even more fuzzy whether he'll comply with the discovery order. (He's clearly hiding something that he thinks will hurt him in his criminal cases.) But how will that $100,000-a-head Rudy fundraiser in Bedminster go on September 7? It's supposed to include a "round table" discussion with Giuliani and Benedict Donald! Can't believe their lawyers are going to be happy about that.

Finally, our New York Attorney General, Letitia James, has averred in a court filing today that Trump fraudulently inflated his net worth by $2.2 billion every year between 2011 and 2021. Wow! James is set to take Trump and his spawn to trial on October 2. Isn't it great that so many of Benedict Donald's adversaries are Black? Tish James, Judge Tanya Chutkan, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, and the goddess of them all, Fulton County's own Fani Willis. We cats applaud them, and we PURR.

The Lightness Of The Dark

By Baxter

Team Biden-Harris does a lot of things right, and one of them is embracing the whole "Brandon" meme — even though, yes, it's silly. (If you have to explain the back story, it's too much of a reach.)

But never mind — it's clearly gotten under Republicans' skins. Did you see how miffed they were when Joe posed with a Dark Brandon coffee mug? Trump's legal team even put it in a court filing!

Now, these images are going up on billboards in Milwaukee, just in time for the GOP debate there tonight, and will be included in a digital ad on FoxNews.com. Well done! Joe's not only trolling the Republican candidates on Brandon, but he's reminding them of their biggest political weakness, the loss of Roe — for which voters have been punishing them again and again.

Back in the day, a political scientist from Duke University posited that you could predict a POTUS's performance based on the President's character. One element of the formula was whether the President enjoyed, well, being President. (FDR did, Nixon didn't.) Pretty safe to say that Joe Biden loves his job. That might drive the Trumpsters and Republicans more crazy than anything else. We cats PURR.

Victorious

By Sniffles

The Carroll case was a civil trial, so we won't be able to see Benedict Donald's orange face atop an orange jumpsuit. At least, not yet. But today's swift verdict in favor of E. Jean today was mighty satisfying, wasn't it? And in less than three hours, too!

We're happy to stand corrected about the nervousness we felt yesterday. Even with a MAGAt or two on the jury, it appears justice can be done. (Does Donald Trump even have $5 million? Maybe not, but it doesn't matter — E. Jean made it clear she wasn't doing this for the money. She wanted to clear her name.)

Meanwhile, looks like CNN is still going forward with its execrable "town hall" with Trump tomorrow night. Plenty of tweeps have been screaming about this and raining down demands on @CNN to cancel the event. We won't be watching it, but at this point we think, heck, let them go ahead. Wouldn't it be great if Benedict Donald says something defamatory about E. Jean Carroll again, on live TV? Then she could turn around and sue him again! That would make us cats PURR.

"Who Do You Love?"

By Baxter

Remember this? Here's then-Vice President Joe Biden on "Meet the Press" in 2012, endorsing marriage equality. It caused a brouhaha because the Inside the Beltway crowd is always shocked when the Veep gets out ahead of his boss's skis. But it was a turning point for a lot of people — Barack Obama included.

By the way, re-watching it all these years later, we notice that after bringing up marriage equality, host David Gregory said to Biden, "You're opposed to it." Was Joe going to let that stand? Of course not.

So it's fitting that today, as POTUS, Joe Biden signed the Respect for Marriage Act into law, codifying protections for same-sex and interracial marriage. Take that, Clarence, Biff, John, Neil, Sam and Amy.

You know, Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. really is a good and decent man. He sees wrong and tries to right it, suffering and tries to heal it, war and tries to stop it. Presidentially, in the last two years we have gone from the odious to the sublime. Someday America may appreciate this. We cats already do, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Going Our Way Edition

By Sniffles

Let's celebrate successes. There are a few in the news just now that are worth sitting back and savoring (or dancing about). While we all wait for the (redacted) affidavit to be released tomorrow, here they are:

A Plano, Texas, woman who confronted, insulted, physically attacked and, ultimately, pulled a gun on four Indian-American women in a restaurant parking lot has been arrested and charged with assault and making terroristic threats. Definitely a Trumpster. Lock her up!

Sean Hannity, Judge Box o' Wine, the Murdochs, Tuckums, Lou Dobbs and Steve Doocy are being called for depositions in Dominion Voting Systems' $1.5 billion defamation suit against Fox "News."

Trump's silly social media platform Truth Social is having financial difficulties.

The "Dark Brandon" spirit continues to rule at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Not only did Joe Biden give a fiery campaign speech in Maryland tonight (we didn't see lasers shoot out of his eyes, but they might have), but the White House Twitter account is trolling Republicans who have bitched about student loan forgiveness. Seems that many of them have been let off the hook for their PPP loans, and Team Biden is calling them out by name (and dollar amount).

Biden has just appointed the second woman ever to head the US Secret Service. Boy, does she have a job to do.

Political talking heads appear to be in agreement that one of the biggest losers of this week's primary in New York was Elise "Elsie" Stefanik. The two Republican candidates she backed, one of whom is a Hitler lover, got their asses kicked. As we noted, it's not clear that Democrat Matt Castelli can do the same to Elsie. But it's pretty neat that people are talking about it. If things were going well for the GOP right now, these conversations would not be happening. We cats PURR.

Bungling On Bumbler

By Baxter

Really satisfying news today: In its continuing reversals of ignorant, hateful, gratuitously cruel, or just plain stupid Trump policies, the Biden Administration has decreed that yes, US embassies can indeed fly the Pride flag if they so choose. Hooray! Now, can our diplomatic corps get back to dealing with serious international issues — instead of being forced to hate on LGBTQ folks?

As if that weren't enough, though, this delicious story about a January 6 insurrectionist will have us laughing all through the weekend. It seems that one of the Trumpy rioters, feeling lusty after storming the Capitol, bragged about his exploits to a woman on the dating app Bumbler. "I made it all the way into Statuary Hall!" Robert Chapman told his potential date, and went on to boast about the media interviews he did.

The woman replied, "We are not a match." And then she called police. When the FBI identified him on video from Insurrection Day, they closed in. Chapman goes on trial May 19.

We love this so much. Sure, you can laugh about how stupid the guy was to brag on a dating app, and to put a Capitol riot photo on his Face Thing profile, et cetera. But what truly impresses us is the swift precision with which the woman extricated herself from the conversation. It was so brutal that Chapman was left with nothing to say except "I suppose not."

Words are powerful — and when you use just a few at a time, straight to the point, they can really cut. Or, in this case, castrate a clueless Trumpster. We cats PURR.

Operation Badass, The Sequel

By Hubie and Bertie

What was the best thing about President Biden's press conference today? That he didn't call on FOX? Quite possibly. But there were a lot of other best things. Totally best. POTUS was really on his game.

We're liking this Joe Biden even more than when we first opined about him nearly two months ago. This afternoon he announced a new goal of 200 million vaccines in his first 100 days, rightly slammed Team Benedict Donald on immigration, talked reasonably and intelligently about China, and called GOP voter suppression "sick." (It is.) He also chided reporters for asking silly stuff — which happened often — and teased them about their multiple follow-ups ("Am I giving you too long an answer? I don't know how much detail you want about immigration").

Journalists, a word of advice: When you indignantly badger the White House for weeks for a press conference, it's good, when they finally hold one, if you ask better questions.

Astoundingly, reporters didn't ask anything about the pandemic, the stimulus, the economy or infrastructure, all of which affect Americans' lives every day. (Infrastructure includes roads, bridges and potholes, remember.) These folks need to get out of Washington more. Meanwhile, Biden's performance was so boss, you could hear the air going out of the GOP balloon miles away.

After Biden won the election, we noticed he seemed different. Could this be the guy whom we used to watch as he joyfully swore in Senators, horsing around with all the families and having a great time? It was a real transformation. Because now, at age 78, with his ultimate goal achieved, he seemed to realize the mantle of responsibility that had fallen on him, and his manner became graver. Call it Presidential. We cats like both Joe Bidens, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Biden-Harris Inaugural Edition

By Miss Kubelik

"President Biden." Suddenly there is music in the sound of that name. And everything went so well today that we cats didn't even miss the crowds or the silly parade. We're also looking forward to "Celebrating America," the TV show that's going to be way more fun for those of us in the cheap seats than any Inaugural balls.

AND what a treat: On the eve of the big event, a fabulous rumor circulated, that Donald Trump is thinking of starting his own political party. Great! Please do it, Donald — you'll hasten the death of the GOP. It'll be the Whigs and the Know-Nothings redux, will dry up Republican grass-roots fundraising, and is sure to throw their 2024 primaries into further turmoil. (Betcha the My Pillow guy has been whispering in Trump's ear about this. Keep it up, guys!)

But enough about America's worst President. Let's move on to Biden-Harris, with joy and relief.

Today's best bits: Amanda Gorman, showing every writer on earth how it's done. Lady Gaga doing the same for would-be belters of song (and in a fabulous dress). Doug Emhoff rescuing Kamala's fallen earring on their walk to the OEOB. Kamala swearing in three new Democratic Senators (thank you, Georgia!). Q Anon getting very upset and confused. And Michelle Obama's queenly couture, taking our breath away.

Also swell: Biden's shout-out to Jimmy Carter. (Joe was the first Senator to endorse Carter in 1976.)

Most hilarious bits: Bernie Sanders, sitting like a cranky old man outside the fitting rooms at Loehmann's. Moose & Squirrel's cheap-curtains caftan (she really doesn't care, does she?). Ted Cruz trying to pretend he didn't try to disenfranchise 81 million Americans. Historian Michael Beschloss, unchained. And Hallie Jackson's tweet from 12:01 PM: "The pool of reporters traveling with now-former President Trump peels away from Mar-a-Lago. That’s it, folks." We cats PURR.

Patch Of Blue

By Hubie and Bertie

Jimmy Carter has famously said that he wants to live until the last guinea worm in Africa is eradicated. The Carter Center has made near-perfect progress on that: Cases of the horrific disease have declined from 3.5 million in 1986 to just 24. Now, we're happy to report that President Carter has also lived long enough to see a Democratic Presidential candidate carry his home state of Georgia.

Twelve years ago, Democrats marveled that we were able to flip Colorado, New Mexico and Nevada. Now, New Mexico and Colorado are totally gone for the Republicans at the Presidential level. And Nevada is a near-elusive dream for them. Meanwhile, this year we flipped Georgia and Arizona, put a scare in the GOP in Texas, and seized back the Blue Wall in the upper Midwest. 

The lesson here, as Stacey Abrams has proven in the Peach State, is that nothing is easy or quick. Like eradicating the guinea worm, it takes years of work, but it can pay off. In the words of that other Georgia son, John Lewis, "Change often takes time. It rarely happens all at once."

Memo to Team Biden: You cannot let a second go by in which you are not working on the next election. Government can't be above politics, because you can't govern if you don't win. Democrats, led by our new President, must continue to shore up Georgia, Arizona and NE-02 (and Nevada and Wisconsin-Michigan-Pennsylvania, et. al.). We need to figure out how to flip ME-02, and work to win back North Carolina. And someday, Texas will be ours, too.

Joe Biden will have the power, the megaphone and the fundraising capabilities of the White House. He needs to use them boldly.

Finally, here's a fun fact: The 2020 Electoral College results are a mirror image of 2016's — 306 for Biden, 232 for Trump. Don't forget that the Trumpsters described their reverse win four years ago as a "landslide" and a "blow-out." We'll take it. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Election 2020 Edition

By Sniffles

What a week! Our humans thought on Tuesday night that they might have to change their citizenship, but we cats always knew Joe would win. (That's because we're superior creatures, of course.) But with all the excitement, we needed a quiet Sunday to rest up and take stock. Here are a few thoughts we've been entertaining as we finish off the champagne.

We loved Kamala's white pantsuit last night. It was a tribute to both the suffragists and to Hillary Clinton. And it goes without saying that the spontaneous celebrations across the country were wonderful. But hey, Republicans: You really need to look at the joy that was unleashed in America yesterday, and try to understand it. The fact that only a few of you have congratulated Joe Biden, or urged the Trumpsters to accept the results and move on, is despicable.

Joe Biden has so much to do — end the pandemic, fix the economy, fight climate change, ensure racial justice, rebuild the government. But we hope the item at the top of Jill Biden's to-do list will be restoring the Jacqueline Kennedy Rose Garden. We can assign that to her, right? And of course the Bidens need to take down that damn wall around the White House. Good times are coming back.

Predictions: Moose & Squirrel, with Lurch in tow, are gone as soon as Lurch's DC school goes on winter break. There will be no niceties, like inviting Biden for a chat, or having both Bidens over for coffee before the swearing-in. Trump himself will have left Washington by New Year's — maybe earlier. Our only question is whether he'll continue to hold superspreader events around the country as long as Air Force One is available. We wouldn't put it past him.

Politically, one of Biden's most important decisions is who will take the reins at the DNC. We need someone who will relentlessly implement a 50-state strategy, like Howard Dean did back in 2006. Maybe that person is Jen O'Malley Dillon. Maybe it's Mayor Pete. But whoever leads us, we Democrats have to be bold and badass, lest we hand the House to Kevin McCarthy in 2022. That means we have to look at all the states where Trump came in under 55%, and turn them into Democratic strongholds. We have to recruit 2022 candidates for Ohio and Iowa now. We must expand the map — and not end up playing defense the way we did in 2010. Just our $0.02.

Finally, historian Michael Beschloss scared us to death last night — imagining a future with a re-elected Benedict Donald, a Republican Senate, a right-wing Supreme Court and tons of conservative judges. It would have been the end of American democracy. So with Biden-Harris in the bag, the job before us now is clear: Win those January Senate runoffs in Georgia, our newly blue-y state. After all, as John McCain once said, "We are all Georgians now." (Get it?) We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Biden-Harris Edition

 

By Hubie and Bertie

Today, the world is witnessing something not often seen in politics: Joy. Democrats everywhere seem to be ecstatic over Joe Biden's selection of Kamala Harris as a running mate.

Count us in. Senator Harris was our candidate for 2020, so we're perfectly happy to crown her the Biden heir apparent. Now, of course, we just have to knuckle down and win this thing. In the meantime, here are a few observations as we soak in the news.

Biden picking Kamala shows what a manly man he is: He can take a punch and not hold a grudge. Unlike someone else we know.

Speaking of that person, Benedict Donald immediately called her nasty, as we knew he would. He also referred to her as his "number-one draft pick." That's what they said about the possibility of running against Susan Rice. They just take their tired old talking points and paste them onto whomever, don't they? (P.S. With the Big Ten canceled, maybe Trump should avoid sports metaphors for awhile.)

Will "Mother" Pence allow her husband to participate in the Vice Presidential debate in October? After all, Kamala is a (GASP!) woman. Mikey might have to get a "please excuse" note from her. Because Harris will destroy him.

Memo to Jaime Harrison: Biden's selection of Harris just increased black turnout in South Carolina by 2 to 5 percent.

Here's a Kamala fact you may not know: She used to live in Montreal, when her mom did research at the Jewish General Hospital and taught at McGill University. She graduated from Westmount High School there in 1981. Gee, maybe if she becomes Vice President she can help us get back into Canada. We're missing the True North a LOT.

Finally, the Biden campaign has just reported that they had their best fundraising hour ever, between 4 and 5 PM today after Harris was announced. We just chipped in a few bucks, too, and will keep our eyes peeled for more Biden-Harris swag in their online store. If you'd like to donate, click here. We cats PURR.

Hop In.

via GIPHY

Rumors were flying last night that Bernie Sanders was going to suspend his campaign either today or tomorrow. If he does, it would be completely out of character. But it would also be a patriotic gesture of the highest order. Trump has to go. We cats PURR.

Beshear Madness

By Hubie and Bertie

Now that Kentucky has just elected a Democratic Governor (less than one day after Benedict Donald was there campaigning), we cats have a few thoughts.

Thanks for turning out the vote, Trump!

Don't mess with teachers' unions. Even in red states.

Even in Kentucky, people are tired of Donald Trump. Perhaps Rand Paul will regret not keeping his distance.

Everyone needs to send money to Amy McGrath in her Senate race against Mitch McConnell. RIGHT NOW. Goodness gracious, but McConnell must be having kittens tonight.

And finally, some earlier reporting (ominous for Benedict Donald) from Robert Costa of The Washington Post: "I spent the day the Senate, talking with Republicans. They are all paying close attention to the Kentucky gubernatorial race. They are not just watching the returns, but President Trump's political capital as they make decisions about how to handle impeachment and their own future."

We cats PURR.