Tidbits and Cat Treats: Pre-Sequester Edition

By Zamboni

In case you're wondering, no — America won't wake up on Saturday morning with planes stacked 12 deep on its airport runways. But take it from us cats, the meat-cleaver budget cuts of the sequester will be felt. Until that happens, though, the news is simply packed with interesting stories. Here are a few.

Republican Congressman Tom Latham has decided not to run for Tom Harkin's Iowa Senate seat. We cats think that Pundit World should be all over this story. Why? Because it's about a veteran House member and respected player on the Boehner team essentially taking a long, hard look at his upcoming GOP Senate primary and deciding that Karl Rove's anti-teabagger super PAC couldn't save him. That's right: A month after Rove said he was going to pour tons of cash into stopping the crazy, he's already gotten humiliated in one of his best open-seat possibilities. Nice going!

How far out of touch are Congressional Republicans? Consider this: They're frantically funding the government's official defense of DOMA, while several totally-not-liberal corporations including Mars, Citigroup and Marriott (!!) have just come out in support of marriage equality. We guess that Eric Cantor and his teabagger caucus don't know what these companies do: That you can't hire bright, young, innovative and technologically savvy people if your corporate policy is to hate people who don't look like Bill Marriott or Forrest Mars.

We cats are also waiting for the day the business world discovers they can't recruit talented folks to live in states in which the vaginal probe is worshiped more fervently than the Bible. Or where science is banned from school textbooks.

Here's a real dog-bites-man headline: "Anti-Abortion Group Backs Cuccinelli."

And finally, hooray! The House passed the Senate version of the Violence Against Women Act today. A lot of attention has been paid to the 87 Republicans who voted for the teabagger-hated bill, but we cats think it's worth noting that once again, the Democratic House leadership has kept its caucus 100 percent united on an important piece of progressive legislation. Nancy Pelosi is one of the most effective Speakers and Minority Leaders in House history, and sad-sack Boehner sure could learn a lot from her. We cats PURR.

Are We Allowed to Write a Supreme Court Justice And Tell Him He's a Racist Pig?

Antonin Scalia has referred to the 1965 Voting Rights Act as a "perpetuation of racial entitlement."

Try telling these people in Selma, Alabama, that they didn't have to fight for their right to vote.

For his shockingly insensitive and racist remarks — delivered from the bench in the Supreme Court today — we cats dump our dirty litter boxes on Antonin Scalia's head and spray you-know-what in his face.

UPDATE: Think we cats were a little peeved by this? You got that right. And on the day that the Rosa Parks statue was unveiled! But we're glad to see that Justice Sotomayor made her displeasure known. Go, Sonia!

Scribbles and Scraps

By Miss Kubelik

It's official, folks: Prepare to see this signature soon, coming to a dollar bill near you.

Yep, Jack Lew has been confirmed as Secretary of the Treasury. Amazing! Republicans in Congress have finally bowed to last year's election results and have told the President, "Yes, Sir — you may have the team you desire, thank you very much."

The Lew confirmation occurs on the heels of the fraught Hagel confirmation, which occurred in the midst of the fussy Brennan confirmation — and who knows what's going to happen with Sally Jewell?

All of these nominations have taken place among Republican hissy fits, hand-wringing and McCarthy-esque tantrums over the truly un-radical folks President Obama has picked for his Cabinet. Honestly, have you ever seen such a spectacle?

We cats are smiling wryly. Why? Because we remember how Democrats — having had their asses handed to them in the 1980 election — decided to be statesmen and cooperate with the new, popular President named Ronald Reagan.

Were we chumps? You be the judge. In 1981, Democrats in Congress agreed to heed the will of the American people and work with a decisively elected Republican President. Today, we see no reason why Republicans shouldn't heed the will of the American people and work with a (twice-elected) (decisively elected) Democratic President.

Of course, that twice-elected, decisively elected Democratic President happens to be black. That's not a problem, is it?

Republicans Favor Gay Marriage, Freepers Foretell Doom

By Sniffles

We cats were tickled pink to read this morning that a passel of prominent Republicans have signed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court in support of same-sex marriage.

The signers include Jon Huntsman (sigh), two Republican members of Congress, former GOP Cabinet members and top advisers, and Meg Whitman — a former Prop 8 supporter who we suspect may be having a tough time attracting high-powered talent to HP.

So of course we had to check in on our favorite right-wing crazies at Free Republic. As you might guess, they're pretty upset. In fact, they see Armageddon approaching. We'll let them explain:

"There is a world of hurt coming on this nation and any nation that glorifies sin. Nations cannot be punished in the next life. They will be punished now by God’s incontrovertible truth."

"We are step-by-step demonstrating we are diverting our paths from that of the God who founded, nourished and protected us in years gone by. And that God is a jealous God who punishes the transgressor as well as rewards his followers."

"The Lord has lifted His protective hand from America, and many deep and difficult tribulations lie on the horizon."

These predictions of Gotterdammerung piqued our interest. After all, we know that other countries have legalized marriage equality. Has God punished them? We took a quick look, and here's what we found.

• Norway, Sweden, Canada and The Netherlands are among the 10 countries with the world's highest quality of life.
• Denmark requires a minimum of six weeks of paid vacation a year, while the Swedes get around a month, and South Africans, three weeks.
• Iceland has the sixth-highest life expectancy on earth. Sweden is #8, Canada is #11, and Spain and Norway are 12th and 13th.
• New moms in Sweden get 16 months of paid maternity leave with every child. In Denmark, they get a year. In South Africa, four months.
• Canada's been voted the 12th most beautiful country in the world.

Yep, the Lord sure has it out for these countries all right! The problem is, apparently nobody's told Him.

"Mystery" Solved

By Baxter

We cats are mystified by all the breathlessness surrounding CPAC's "snub" of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Clearly the folks at POLITICO and elsewhere are forgetting recent history.

Fact: Al Cardenas is chairman of CPAC.

Fact: Al Cardenas long ago hitched his wagon to Jeb! Bush's star.

Fact: Chris Christie is currently the, um, biggest threat to Jeb! having the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination handed to him on a platter — the way his brother received it back in 2000.

Fact: It is not in Jeb!'s interest, and therefore not in Al Cardenas's interest, to give Chris Christie the opportunity to repair his issues with the hard-core right wing of the party. Or to allow him a "Sister Souljah" moment with them while every other speaker will be bowing and scraping and slobbing.

So, we cats think this is all about Bush. And why has Cardenas invited nuts like Rand Paul, and has-beens like the famous quitter from Alaska, Ricky Santorum and Willard Mitt Romney, to speak? To make Jeb! shine by comparison, of course.

(Inviting the crazies also gives Jeb! the opportunity to cement his reputation with Pundit World as the "sane" Republican in the field — despite his despicable right-wing record and racist politics.)

Finally, in case you're wondering why semi-respectable figures like Bobby Jindal and Susana Martinez won't present competition to Jeb! at CPAC, that's easy: They're auditioning for vice president, natch.

We cats can't wait. Send in the clowns!

Let's Make Ted Alberta-Bound

By Zamboni

Our bowl of tuna runneth over. We cats were already excited to see that the Freepers have returned, their server restored, and their madcap right-wing nuttiness freely flowing once again. And now, there's Ted Cruz and The New Yorker.

See, our favorite magazine has published a piece by Jane Mayer, pondering the question of the teabagger freshman Senator's resemblance to Joe McCarthy. (And she means more than a physical one, although there is that.)

We cats are sure that the teabaggers have no shame about how retro and silly they sound when they scream about Commies (this time, at Harvard), because we think they've actually studied the Joe McCarthy playbook. They've just tweaked it a bit — no doubt assuming that they'll avoid inviting censure or succumbing to alcoholism — figuring the only thing wrong with McCarthy's message was the messenger.

So there's no question in our furry little minds that the very junior Senator from Texas has a ton in common with the 1950s junior Senator from Wisconsin. Little difference exists between waving around a list of 205 alleged Communists in the State Department and what Cruz and has-beens like Allen West foam about today. And just as one of the first people Joe McCarthy went after was an enlisted man — Milo Radulovich — so too has Ted Cruz quickly chosen to smear another enlisted man — Chuck Hagel.

(How ironic that John McCain, of all people, made a point of berating Cruz for that. In his Senate race, Cruz received an early endorsement from the famous quitter from Alaska. So if Sarah Palin's to blame for Cruz, it bears reminding that John McCain's to blame for Sarah Palin.)

Well, it'll be very interesting to see if the McCarthy label sticks. It will be up to Cruz, of course. In the meantime, the other thing we need to remember about Ted Cruz is that he was born in Canada. So, can we give him back?

(PHOTO: This composite from ThinkProgress was not hard to find.  We think the label is sticking.)

The "Family Values" Crowd Strikes Again

By Miss Kubelik

Imagine if Barack Obama knocked up Ashley Biden. Or if John Kerry fathered a kid with Ayla or Arianna Brown. Or if John McCain dallied with Lindsey Graham's — whoops.

Incredible, no? And yet that's pretty much what we have, now that former Republican Senator Pete Domenici has revealed the 34-year-old love child he had with the daughter of Paul Laxalt, also a former Republican Senator.

In short, it's the latest breathtaking example of the GOP's we-can't-let-gays-get-hitched-because-we-revere-the-institution-of-marriage-so-much hypocrisy. Yet check out the society columnists in The Washington Post, chirping away about l'affaire Laxalt as if it were completely normal.

(Regarding that article, we cats must take a moment to quibble. We have no idea how a guy who's written extensively for right-wing media can claim to be a "private citizen," nor how the circumstances of his birth qualify as a "sacred situation." We'd call this a lot of things, but "sacred situation" isn't one of them.)

Anyway, amazing. We cats searched in vain for something similarly bizarre, but our paws have come up empty. You'd probably have to go back to Strom Thurmond and his half-black daughter for comparison, and even that doesn't quite track. After all, a family maid is not the child of a Senate colleague.

Which reminds us — as we've wondered with Strom, and knowing the Republicans' fondness for unlawful carnal knowledge, was Domenici-Laxalt a rape? America wants to know!

P.S. We cats also won't bother pointing out that Pete Domenici voted to impeach Bill Clinton, although of course we realize that we just did.

Dear Freepers, Are You Okay?

By Sniffles

We cats are worried about our right-wing friends over at one of the Internet's most paranoid places, Free Republic. Their server has been down for more than a day now. If we can't read them, how will we know whether they've succumbed to post-2012-election malaise? (Like some of their colleagues on the lunatic fringe.)

When you try to visit Free Republic, the message that comes up claims that repairs are underway and the outage is "nothing sinister." But we cats are sure there are Freeps gnashing their teeth in remote corners of Georgia, Tennessee and Alabama, convinced that it's sabotage by liberal Commie devotees of the Kenyan-socialist-Nazi-abortion-loving-homosexual agenda.

Speaking of that last one, this ad was the reason we cats wanted to spend time with our Freeper friends. We know they hate Colin Powell. And goodness knows they hate Obama. But what are they saying about Dick Cheney and (gasp!) Laura Bush?

Oh, Freeps, please come back!

(UPDATE: It's Thursday, and Free Republic is still offline. This is terrible, especially since Laura Bush just asked to be cut from the Respect for Marriage ad. We need our Freeper fix! We're going through withdrawal, and it isn't pretty.)

"Here On Earth, God's Work Must Truly Be Our Own"

Appalachian Spring

By Baxter

We cats are already amused by the special election in South Carolina for Tim Scott's House seat (March 19th primary, May 7th general). How could we not be tickled, when Stephen Colbert's sister is running on the Democratic side? (If you'd like to send her some support, click here.)

But things are even more delicious with the entry of disgraced former Governor Mark Sanford in the race. Yes! Let's have another round of coverage of that fabulous "Appalachian Trail" chapter in Sanford's career. It's always good to remember Republican peccadilloes four years later.

Not that Democrats are pristine by any means. But then, Democrats don't go around lecturing other people on how to live their private lives. Republicans not only scream about morals — they try to legislate them.

So we did a big eye roll when Sanford — who, we note with interest, hasn't yet managed to marry the Argentine woman he called his "soul mate" — claimed in a recent interview that he never used taxpayer money so he could Be A Part Of B.A., Buenos Aires. We kinda doubt this. After all, why else did he reimburse part of the cost of his publicly funded 2008 trade mission to you-know-where?

And as long as we're on the subject, we cats think that impeaching a President for non-impeachable, private-life offenses is a big, big waste of taxpayer money. Especially when you end up being guilty of the same thing yourself.

Oh, Mark Sanford, you rascal, you! To further paraphrase Cab Calloway, we can't wait till you lose.

(IMAGE: Ah, memories. Here is Mark Sanford, caught red-pawed, getting off his plane from Argentina when he should have been hiking the Appalachian Trail. We think we know why he's licking his lips.)

They Don't Make Republicans Like This Any More (And Today's GOP Wouldn't Want Them Anyway)

 By Zamboni

Yes, we cats know this particular Roosevelt wasn't a Democrat. But heck, it's Presidents Day, we love the paintings of John Singer Sargent — and we simply had to get Ted Cruz off the top of the blog. So, enjoy!

P.S. Did Ann Romney already have an artist picked out to do Willard's official White House portrait? We cats think yes!

Nightmare Cruz

By Miss Kubelik

Goodness gracious — Ted Cruz must be lapping up the publicity he's been getting like a kitten with a bowl of milk.

The repulsive freshman Senator from Texas says he came to shake things up in Washington, but what he really wants is attention. So, we cats will briefly give it to him, but after that, we'll be done.

Why? Because we firmly suspect that sooner or later — probably sooner — Ted Cruz will be marginalized, not just by his 99 colleagues, but, more importantly, by his own party caucus. See, there's only so much individual brattiness the Senate will allow.

Heck, even Lady Lindsey Graham qualified some tepid praise with a warning. "I think [Cruz has] unlimited potential," he said. "But the one thing I will say to any new Senator — you're going to be respected if you can throw a punch, but you also have to prove you can do a deal."

(Get Lindsey past a primary challenge and safely re-elected in 2014, and you can bet he'll give the Lone Star lunatic a real bitch slap.)

As for the Democrats, we cats hereby decree: No members of our party will allow the very junior Senator's name to pass their lips without also saying the word "McCarthy" in the same breath. (Claire McCaskill and Barbara Boxer, go to the head of the class.)

In the meantime, Cruz is very much the Republicans' problem — so let's not interrupt the reckless behavior that's helping seal his party's fate. See, the country that dealt the GOP such a bad hand last November understands: Ted Cruz is so full of you-know-what, he should change his first name to "Carnival."

The Land of Lincoln Votes for Marriage Equality

"Euclid's first common notion is this: Things which are equal to the same thing are equal to each other. That's a rule of mathematical reasoning. It's true because it works, has done and always will do.

"In his book, Euclid says this is self-evident. You see, there it is, even in that 2,000-year-old book of mechanical law. It is a self-evident truth that things which are equal to the same thing are equal to each other."

Violence Against Hagel

By Sniffles

Goodness gracious, we cats have never seen Republicans pummel one of their own so hard for being right.

Yep, Chuck Hagel — the one member of the GOP besides Jon Huntsman on whom we have a kitty crush — is so wanting in their eyes that they're holding up his Cabinet nomination because of something with which he had absolutely nothing to do.

So there must be other reasons, right? We've seen several.

The most popular among them seems to be Hagel's opposition to the Iraq war. And with the 10th anniversary of that snow job — which, by the way, killed nearly two 9/11s' worth of American soldiers and more than thirty-three 9/11s' worth of Iraqi civilians — it's a timely reminder of what excellent foresight Senator Hagel had. It's also further proof of how appropriate is our nickname for The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, and how badly Republicans are currently behaving.

And now that 41 Republicans have decided to filibuster their old colleague, we cats think we know the real reason for this circus.

It's simple: Lady Lindsey Graham, facing a possible primary in 2014, feels pursued by a bunch of heavy-breathing teabaggers. But considering Lady Lindsey's light loafers, we wonder why he'd mind.

(IMAGE: Oh, Chuck, you have such dreamy eyes. But do you ever smile?)

Well, Some Of Them Might Be Men

Tidbits and Cat Treats: SOTU Edition

By Baxter

You won't be surprised to learn that we cats ate up last night's State of the Union address like a juicy can of chunk light. Here are our thoughts as we contentedly lick our chops.

"They deserve a vote." Brilliant. On different levels, too. Yes, victims of gun violence deserve to have Congress act. But so do 102-year-old women who wait seven hours at the polls.

It was also clear that the Republicans cherish cop-killer bullets more than cops, prefer protecting abortion-doctor killers over living first graders, and believe absolutism in the defense of violence is the best response to the slaughter of children.

Speaking of which, we had no idea that "Ted Nugent" was present — until we saw his picture in this morning's paper. So, why even invite him? What a silly, empty stunt.

And the three stooges from SCOTUS weren't there, either. (Which reminds us, can Antonin Scalia be the next Pope? Now, that would be a twofer: Get him out of our hair, and give Obama another justice to nominate.)

How wonderful that the President managed to remind Republicans not once, but twice, that they nominated Willard Mitt Romney last year.

Camera shot of the night: Three stony and scowling GOP Congresswomen, disgusted by the President's call for equal pay legislation. How dare he!

Between Ted Cruz's despicable behavior on the Senate Armed Services Committee, and Baby Marco's lunge for the water bottle, Republicans continued to prove yesterday that they are not ready for prime time.

Conclusions? We have three.

1) The state of the union is way, way stronger than it was under The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived. 2) It's getting even better.  And 3), imagine how much more stuff Obama could get done if only the Republicans would get patriotic and cooperate.

Unless, of course, that makes you cry.

UPDATE: It turns out that Ted Nugent was seated next to a guy from Pink Martini. As one of our loyal readers has observed, it just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

Nous Sommes d'Accord

Maybe Ted Will Try To Bring A Concealed Weapon Into the Capitol

By Zamboni

We cats hope we're wrong, but we have a sneaking suspicion that someone is going to try to pull a Joe Wilson at tomorrow's State of the Union address.

After all, why not? The Republicans have never sunk lower. They're absolutely crushed that Obama was re-elected, so they've been spending their days either throwing constant temper tantrums or desperately (and futilely) trying to reboot. Karl Rove has started a civil war with his new "We Hate Teabaggers" PAC, and TIME magazine has anointed a baby-faced Cuban as the GOP's "savior" in the never-ending Republican leadership vacuum. Have things ever been worse?

So.... if you're a right-wing, Obama-hating, gun-clinging, gay-despising, anti-choice teabagger Congressman who has a chair to warm in the House chamber tomorrow night — and if you need to raise a boatload of money from the Freepers and such folk (or just sell a bunch of T-shirts and bumper stickers) — wouldn't you stage a disruption?

In fact, wouldn't you invite Ted Nugent to attend?

Swindlers' List

By Miss Kubelik

It's been three months since the election; we're a few weeks past Inauguration Day, and we're coming up on the State of the Union Address. So we cats think that for all those right wingers who are alleging voter fraud, it's time to put up or shut up.

Take our word for it, the conspiracy-mongers are out there. They're teabaggers and Freepers — who otherwise seem kind of down and dispirited — but who still rouse themselves for a multiple-comment thread of umbrage any time someone asserts pro-Obama electoral irregularities on the Internet. Pathetic!

Therefore, to all the wingnuts, we say: Tell us. Tell us the specific precincts in which Romney votes were suppressed or uncounted. Tell us how many of them Romney would have won (if the dreaded Obama machine hadn't been handing out free cell phones, that is), and by how much, and what difference those precincts and Congressional districts and uncounted thousands of votes would have made in the Electoral College. We cats want numbers. Oh, and some proof would be nice, too. Names of disenfranchised Romney supporters would be swell.

Somehow, though, we're not holding our breath. The right-wing nut cases have no figures. They have no facts. They just like to rant to each other in the echo chamber, and reinforce each others' opinions about imaginary electoral skullduggery that they're certain is true.

Meanwhile, here's the irony: Despite the Freepers' screaming about ACORN, and Hurricane Sandy, and Chris Christie, and all the other stupid things that were supposed to have tossed Election 2012 Obama's way, the President probably would have won by 6.5 to 7 million votes — instead of a mere 5 million — had the superstorm and Republican voter suppression never occurred.

We're just pointing this out to ensure that, as we all settle in for our SOTU watching parties, the teabaggers understand just how small a minority they've become. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Republicans, Judging From Afar

By Sniffles

Chris Christie's umbrage at recent comments by Presidential physician Connie Mariano have given us cats a big, fat case of deja vu.

"I find it fascinating that a doctor in Arizona who has never met me, never examined me, never reviewed my medical history or records, knows nothing about my family history, could make a diagnosis from 2,400 miles away," Christie said.

So heartless of that mean doctor, right? We're sure that many of Christie's fellow Republicans have rushed to agree.

But at the same time, we wonder: How many of them were on the other side of things back in 2005, when medical doctor and then-Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said this:

"I question [Terri Schiavo being in a persistent vegetative state] based on a review of [her] video footage, which I spent an hour or so looking at last night in my office. She certainly seems to respond to visual stimuli."

We cats remember the Schiavo farce well. And we guarantee that Bill Frist never met Schiavo, never examined her, never reviewed her medical history or records, and knew nothing about her family history.

No doubt about it: Frist and Tom DeLay and Jeb! Bush and all the meddling Republican busybodies should take Christie's advice to "shut up." (And stop interfering in Americans' private lives. But they never will, will they?)

A Jewell Of A Cabinet Pick

So, now that President Obama has replaced a man with a woman to offset the woman he replaced with a man, can we all just call it Even Steven and get on with our lives?

Not Working

By Baxter

With Valentine's Day creeping up on little cat feet, it's time to take a fresh look at the odd bromance that blossomed last year between the heartless accountant from Wisconsin and Willard Mitt Romney.

Yes, we know — these guys are yesterday's news. But recently, an anonymous Republican tamped down the prospect of Paul-Ryan-for-President in 2016. "[Ryan] has no interest in the sheer grind of campaigning. It's hard to see him having 'what it takes.'"

Gosh, we cats thought: Who does that remind us of? Of course! Good ol' Willard — who often only did one campaign event a day, spent last Labor Day weekend (Labor Day!) on vacation in New Hampshire, and generally made it clear that he felt entitled to the Presidency. No wonder he and Ryan got along like a house on fire.

It's just more proof of the Republicans' lack of work ethic — which amazes us, especially when they're such scolds about the "takers." Think about it: Their 2012 boys find the campaign trail too arduous. Their 2008 running mate quit her day job in a huff. Their chief strategist thinks he can fix the GOP's teabagger-primary problem with a bunch of money and few quick ads. And to a person, from their obstructionist Congressional second-in-command to their Medicare-cutting Governor from Louisiana, Republicans swear the only problem they have is their message — not their policy positions.

Today's GOP just doesn't want to do the hard stuff: networking, organizing and, most of all, listening to the people they want to reach. They just want to slap on a new label. How ironic, then, that Eric Cantor's hashtag for the "new" Republican Party is "#MakingLifeWork." They want everyone else to work. Just not them.

"Tagg," You're It?

By Zamboni

It appears that this little "'Tagg' Romney for Senate" boomlet may actually be real. Of course, that's after the cute naked guy and too-liberal-even-for-Massachusetts-Republicans former GOP Governor have both said they're not interested in running.

You remember "Tagg" — he of the tight, constipated Romney smile, he who threatened to punch out the President of the United States?

Well, we cats just can't let this one go without comment.

First, this could be America's opportunity to drive a final stake through the Romney heart. After all, what the heck have they won in their lives? George Romney was elected Michigan Governor, but lost his bid for President. Lenore Romney lost a race for Senate. Willard has only won ONE race, and has lost too many to count, including the gubernatorial re-elect in 2006 that he was too chicken to attempt. One more defeat and the nation has to ask: Who are these people and why do we care?

The Romney name is not loved in Massachusetts. Remember 2012? He lost to Obama by double digits. Maybe Bay Staters resent the fact that he repudiated that healthcare plan they enjoy so much.

Is Ann Romney pushing her oldest boy to avenge his father's loss? It kind of reminds us of Barbara Bush egging the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived to pay America back for 1992. And we all know how well that ended (September 11, Iraq, the economic crisis, etc.).

The right wing will go nuts. A "Tagg" candidacy will probably guarantee a right-versus-hard-right Senate primary. Which sounds like a good waste of a lot of Republican money and the disgorging of much GOP venom. Republicans worried about rebuilding the national brand must be reaching for the TUMS.

A former Navy SEAL is considering a run. It would be interesting to see a combat vet go up against a guy whose idea of military service is driving a minivan back and forth across Iowa in 2007.

Finally, if "Tagg" runs, he may awaken a sleeping giant. We cats were just going to toss a few bucks Ed Markey's way, but if Ed's opponent is a repulsive Romney thug, sign us up for a lot more. (Hmmm.... is that why CNN is suddenly reporting that a "Tagg" bid is "unlikely"? Stay tuned.)

UPDATE: Well, that was quick.

OMG, It's You!

As we bid farewell (for now) to one of America's greatest Secretaries of State, here's proof that even Hillary Rodham Clinton can be star-struck.

(PHOTO: Saul Loeb / AFP-Getty Images)

Richard Milhous LaPierre

By Miss Kubelik

Are you scratching your head, kicking yourself for not thinking of it before, and desperately wondering how you can get on the NRA's enemies' list?

After all you'd be in good company: the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Jewish Congress and Anti-Defamation League, Common Cause, the Environmental Action Fund, the Gray Panthers, the ILGWU (of "Look for the union label" jingle fame), the National Council of La Raza, the Police Foundation, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, the United States Catholic Conference, the YWCA, Lauren Bacall, Tony Bennett, k.d. lang, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Sean Connery, Ethan Hawke, Spike Lee, Anne Rice, Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart, Diane Keaton, Bette Midler, Sylvester Stallone (!), Robert Redford and Jerry Seinfeld — plus some large corporations, media conglomerates and even a few dead people — are all on it. Clearly, it's the NRA against the world.

Well, never fear. Here's all the information you need.

Write the NRA an e-mail here.

Send the NRA a snail-mail letter to: 11250 Waples Mill Road, Fairfax, VA 22030.

And if you're in a rush, here's a sample message:

"Dear NRA, Please, please, please can I get on your 'enemies' list'? Not only do I want my name next to Alec Baldwin's, Steve Buscemi's, Jodie Foster's and Garry Trudeau's (I'm at least as cool as they are), but it would be an honor to be hated by you. Thank you a million times for including me!"

(This is just a suggestion. We encourage you to have your own fun with it. For example, Kevin Bacon's on the list. Of course.)

In the meantime, we cats PURR.

Hagel Changes His Mind, Republicans Lose Theirs

By Sniffles

Gosh! Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) has decided he can't support Chuck Hagel's nomination for Secretary of Defense because Hagel is "too inconsistent."

This, you may or may not recall, is the same Roy Blunt who heartily endorsed Willard Mitt Romney for President, and served as his Willard's top campaigner on Capitol Hill.

We cats are trying to understand the logic of this. See, Willard is kinda famous for his "inconsistency" on important issues. Here are just a few examples:

• Supported, then opposed, campaign finance reform.
• Believed in climate change, then wasn't sure.
• Was before FEMA before he was against it.
• Favored the stimulus in 2009, opposed it in 2012.
• Banned assault rifles, then joined the NRA.
• Liked giving a pathway to citizenship, then said that Arizona's immigration law was a "model for the nation."
• Said he opposed same-sex marriage, but refused to sign a Republican "pledge" against it.
• Supported a woman's right to choose, then — well, you know. And then there's that personhood thing. Eek!
• And finally, of course, having invented healthcare reform, he now hates it.

So, we all know why in 2008 John McCain called Willard "the candidate of change." What we don't get is why such, um, "inconsistency" was okay in Roy Blunt's book.