A Matter Of Definition

By Baxter

Did you know that E. Jean Carroll was able to sue Benedict Donald because of New York's Adult Survivors Act? For a defined period of time, adult survivors of sexual assault were allowed to pursue civil action against their attackers, even if the statute of limitations on their assaults had expired. (The act itself expired at the end of November.)

Details like these are usually better-known in legal-beagle circles, but considering the high profile of the Carroll-Trump case, you may have heard of it. Carroll not only pursued her own aggressor, but hoped that her example would inspire other adult survivors to follow her lead.

Now, New York Governor Kathy Hochul has signed a new law that also springs from the Carroll case. "Rape Is Rape" expands the state's legal definition to include all kinds of penetration — setting aside the earlier, vague distinction between rape and what the original Carroll jury found Trump liable for, "sexual abuse." What Carroll endured was rape, but by dint of the old law, they couldn't call it that.

This is partly why Judge Lewis Kaplan reminded the jury in the second trial that Trump was, plainly, a rapist. That the first jury had convicted "only" on sexual abuse, he explained, "does not mean that [Carroll] failed to prove that Mr. Trump raped her as many people commonly understand the word rape. Indeed, as the evidence at trial...makes clear, the jury found that Mr. Trump in fact did exactly that."

The new law is a step in the right direction to help victims of sexual assault find justice. Fittingly, Governor Hochul saluted E. Jean Carroll for her bravery at yesterday's signing. It's crossed our minds that the Carroll verdict may actually end up having more of an effect on the 2024 election than any of the criminal charges Benedict Donald faces. On top of Dobbs, there's just no reason for any woman, unless she's hard-core, blinkered MAGA, to vote Republican this fall. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

How To Break The Internet

 

"He Is Nothing"

 

By Sniffles

As deliberations in the E. Jean Carroll trial were underway on Friday, tweeps were amusing one another by speculating was it must be like in the jury room. One wag said something to the effect of "You realize that right now, nine people are sitting around a table saying to each other, 'No, make it higher.'" Nailed it!

Carroll's appearance with her lawyers on MSNBC tonight was the first time in ages that we've actually bothered to watch the Rachel Maddow show. We're disappointed that Maddow only had them on for what amounted to a half-hour (thanks to one of her typically long-winded monologues). There were so many more questions we wanted to ask. But Carroll's story about how, face to face in the same courtroom, Benedict Donald was smaller than small made it worth tuning in.

It satisfying to hear Carroll say that, because she sounded so relieved. As the saying goes, a great weight has clearly been lifted off her. But it also underscored the fact that nine ordinary Americans, sitting around that jury-room table, decided he was a nothing, too. A former President of the United States is being made to pay because a gutsy woman stood up for herself, and because seven men and two women said so. Ain't America great? We cats PURR.

Taylor-Made For MAGA Outrage

Unlike Alina Habba, who just helped a famous client lose $83.3 million, we cats know that it's impossible to pretend that you're smart. So we're the first to say that we know next to nothing about football — but we sure love it when it makes Trumpsters mad. We cats PURR.

Cat Fight! Crackpot Stefanik vs. Liz Cheney

 

By Hubie and Bertie

Liz Cheney has been raking Elise "Elsie" Stefanik over the Twitter coals for calling the January 6 felons, criminals and terrorists "hostages" — demanding to know exactly how and when Elsie decided to become a Trump "crackpot." (Such a wonderful, Greatest Generation term.)

Now, Liz has tweeted anew:

"I’m told that, in response to my prior tweet, @EliseStefanik deleted her 1/6/21 statement — that those who stormed the Capitol 'must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,'" she wrote. "Here is Elise’s statement again. Feel free to share." Yes, ma'am. We cats PURR.

Presence Of Malice

By Miss Kubelik

Think for a moment what it would be like to be the constant target of threats, insults, and other forms of harassment, inspired by somebody who was once President of the United States. You'd probably go insane within the space of a week. We certainly would.

E. Jean Carroll not only endured the trauma of Benedict Donald's original assault, since she bravely went public in 2019, her life has been a living hell. And it will continue to be, whether or not Trump pays her the $83.3 million the jury decreed this afternoon. The MAGA stalkers will never leave her alone. Heck, even the jurors were told to never, ever reveal that they had served on this case and rendered this verdict.

We would never change places with E. Jean, bless her, but today we admire no one more. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Trump's Bad Day

By Zamboni

Not seeing a lot of good news for Benedict Donald today.

The economy grew by 3.1 percent last year, and — is it possible? — the media might finally be covering it accurately. It's about time they focused on facts and figures instead of feelings.

Turns out that Joe Biden won a larger share of the Democratic primary vote in New Hampshire than Trump did of the GOP's, despite not being on the ballot. Somewhat embarrassing, no?

Nikki Haley is driving him nuts, and Liz Cheney is openly encouraging her to stay in the Presidential race. Haley is disgusting, no doubt about it — but we're rooting for her to stick around. Meanwhile, Trump's former minion Peter Navarro was sentenced to four months in prison this morning, and when he tried to speak to the press, he was drowned out by a protester with a whistle and a cowbell. Perfect!

On Capitol Hill, the cat's out of the bag on the border security deal — Republicans are caving to Donald because they don't want to give Biden a "win" going into the November election. Mitt Romney and Thom Tillis have already excoriated them for it — will more Senators join them? Whether or not they do, long story short, Trump and the GOP own the border problem now.

Finally, Trump had a weird and, in the end, humiliating experience in court today. The judge in the E. Jean Carroll defamation damages trial gave an excellent demonstration of how to control the malignant narcissist who used to live in the White House. He even corrected hapless attorney Alina Habba when she called "President Donald Trump" to the stand. But most delicious was his refusal to allow any breaching of legal guardrails, which left Trump performing for a little more than three minutes — giving rise, no pun intended, to a zillion jokes on Twitter, many of them Stormy-Daniels-related.

Trump was clearly angry when he left the courtroom. "This is not America," he drama-queened. Au contraire, Benedict Donald. This is America. Yes, it is. We cats PURR. 

Trump's New Hampshire Hangover

 

By Baxter

Lots of good stuff has come from the first Biden Administration, but one of the best is the Dark Brandon meme. It's everywhere this morning, despite the tired cable-news narrative that Democrats aren't "enthusiastic" about 46. Unenthusiastic people don't mukluk down to the polling place to vote for a guy whose name isn't even on the ballot. (And it's time to #DropOutDean, you silly man.)

Benedict Donald was talking up such a big lead over Nikki Haley in the run-up to the New Hampshire primary that anything less than a 20-point margin is a loss for him. Well, it's 10 points. Even his former press secretary drew his fire last night for saying that Biden had a good night.

Trump was feeling stung in other ways as well, giving a victory speech filled with anger and vitriol, threatening Haley with, well, who knows what. Happy Warrior he's not. He also accepted African-American Senator Tim Scott's nauseating display of obeisance. It was disgusting and embarrassing for all concerned.

New Hampshire exit polls revealed some potential Trumpy problems as well: Sixty-seven percent of Republicans said they opposed a national ban on abortion, and 42 percent said Trump was unfit if convicted of a crime. Sooner or later — and woe is they, probably after Trump's locked the nomination up — the GOP is going to find itself holding a sh*t sandwich, and there won't be anything they can do about it. At least, not without replaying the Democrats in 1968 — except this time, the riot will be inside the convention hall.

Dark Brandon will love it. We cats PURR.

When A Win Is Not A Win

 

By Sniffles

Just as the Iowa caucuses revealed a nettling weakness in Benedict Donald — even among Republicans — New Hampshire appears to have delivered a similar result.

Trump said Nikki Haley would suffer a "big loss" today, especially since recent polling averages put him around 18 points ahead. But right now, with the race called, he's only leading by six.

Obviously, this margin could change. But a number of New Hampshire Republicans were telling reporters today that they voted for Haley because they didn't want to live under a dictatorship. Some said that if Trump were the GOP nominee, they'd vote for President Biden.

"Trump and his team will, of course, celebrate the win, but it's far from the massive victory Trump was predicting Monday night," The Daily Beast reported, calling the primary a "split decision." Meanwhile, Joe Biden beat the ridiculous Dean Phillips in the state by 50 points... as a write-in candidate. We cats PURR.

Garbage In, Garbage Out

By Hubie and Bertie

Although Republicans seem hell-bent on nominating him, you sometimes have to wonder if Benedict Donald is even going to make it to November. He's been rambling and gaffe-ing an awful lot lately. Even folks in the news media are starting to take note. Confusing Nikki Haley and Nancy Pelosi got a lot of people's attention.

And Team Trump must be worried about it — because they sent out super-MAGA surrogate Elise "Elsie" Stefanik to try to refute the Haley-Pelosi slip. Au contraire, it was intentional, Stefanik insisted. Nikki Haley, she claimed, is "relying on Democrats just like Nancy Pelosi to try to have a desperate showing in New York." (Then she caught herself and quickly said "in New Hampshire," LOL.)

Wow, that's thin. So thin that Haley doesn't strike us as the one who's desperate (although she may be). This was straw-grasping beyond belief — even more pathetic than Tim Scott's recent engagement photo. But then, both Elsie and Scott want the world to think that they're Vice Presidential material, so they'll do what they can (never mind the fact that Mike Pence's tenure in the job significantly lowered the bar for any aspiring Republican successors).

Look, Elsie can pander and grovel and toady all she wants. But we're convinced that if Trump picks a female running mate, it won't be a Blue State Girl like Stefanik, or a Red State Girl like Kristi Noem or Sarah Huckabee Sanders or Haley or Marjorie Taylor Greene. First, except for Noem, they're not good-looking enough for Trump. Second, it's going to be Kari Lake. Physically (at least, with that camera filter she uses), she's "his type." And he needs purple-state Arizona. We cats HISS.

Robot Ron Deactivates

By Miss Kubelik

Elise "Elsie" Stefanik got a brief respite from being dragged (see above) on social media today when news broke that Ron DeSadness — an amusing new nickname, yes? — was dropping out of the 2024 Presidential race. Good for Elsie, although SAD! for Ron. And Casey.

You had to know this was coming, though, since word the last night was that, at the last minute, Rhonda was canceling his appearances on Sunday-morning TV. That's funny — wasn't going on what he called "the corporate shows" supposed to be his next great reboot? How simply frightful. How humiliating. How delightful!

Twitter is super-fun on days like this. From Gavin Newsom promoting fire sales on Rhonda merch to fake sympathy for "Tacky Onassis" to jokes about "Never Back Down" backing down, it's a delicious sea of schadenfreude. But our favorite observation comes from Greg Sargent of The New Republic:

"DeSantis's implosion is more confirmation that anti-woke politics has completely fizzled," he said. "DeSantis organized his entire governorship and campaign on this theme. Now, Moms for Liberty is losing everywhere, Youngkin failed disastrously, and 'Where Woke Goes to Die' Ron is kaput."

And of course, because he has no soul, Rhonda immediately threw his support to Benedict Donald today. (This is exactly what, back on November 30, Newsom predicted would happen.) Which means, we guess, that Nikki Haley — fresh off an endorsement from the New Hampshire Union-Leader — will have to double-down on her Trump-is-not-well-mentally-and-too-old shtick between now and Tuesday. But then how will she turn around and back Trump after she drops out, too? We cats wonder. In the meantime, we PURR.

Wonder Women Write Postcards To Voters!

When it's too darn cold out to knock doors, there are still handy ways to help out Democrat Tom Suozzi in his February 13 special election to replace kooky Republican crook George Santos in NY-03. We cats choose Postcards to Voters! It's easy and fun, and helps you forget a certain member of the New York delegation who is truly embarrassing herself by kowtowing to a traitor. Click here to get writing! We cats PURR.

"Where Do We Put Doonesbury?" Is Not Really The Question, Folks

By Zamboni

In spite of the fact that no one complained about it, the Albany Times-Union is having a retroactive baby over this Doonesbury cartoon from last Sunday, January 14. (This is a screen grab of the last two panels.)

Editor Casey Seiler has bent over backward — even though no one complained, did we mention that? — to inform readers that since this coming Sunday's Doonesbury continues in this same vein, it will appear in the "Perspective" section as opposed to the comics. Fair enough. We wouldn't want to open our paper in two days and not be able to immediately find Garry Trudeau.

Still and all, Seiler was excoriating himself for not realizing that "that's an awful lot of uses of 'rape' for a strip that runs in the Sunday funnies just above Classic Peanuts." Hmmm.

It strikes us as both amusing and disgusting that a bunch of white guys down in Albany are wringing their hands over a word — when very few seem to be troubled at all about the deed.

Because if they were, maybe they would cover Trump — a proven sexual assaulter — differently. And the while we're on the subject, maybe they could cover the October 7 Hamas attacks on Israel differently as well. Nobody cares what happens to women, do they? Except maybe for Garry Trudeau. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

And Without Us, There Would Be Even MORE Losing

 

By Baxter

For the third time, Democrats in the House of Representatives have had to make like Mighty Mouse and come to Save The Day. With today's passage of a short-term spending bill, the government will not shut down, fully or partially, until March — when we get the chance to do all this cr*p again (which you know we will, because Mike Johnson and the GOP are really bad at their jobs).

The so-called "Freedom Caucus" is big mad, though, because Johnson basically agreed to a continuing resolution like the one his hapless predecessor, Kevin McCarthy, worked on with Dark Brandon last year. How long will it be before the right-wing nutcases decide to give Johnson the heave-ho they gave Kev? Maybe if Mikey keeps cutting deals with Democrats, they will. They certainly aren't pursuing anything else of substance for the American people, and thanks to illnesses, car crashes and resignations, Johnson is working with a bare-bones majority of, literally, 218. What a clown show they are.

As one tweep we follow observed, "Amazing. Democrats are in the minority, but still govern the House." We cats PURR.

So Much Losing

 

By Sniffles

Here's a perfect illustration of our contention that Benedict Donald is weak, not strong. Ditto the state of his party.

Not only did Trump behave like a child in New York civil court today, but the GOP suffered another electoral loss this week: A Florida state house district in Orlando flipped from red to blue in a special election. In case that seems trivial to you, bear in mind that the Democratic candidate, Tom Keen, was outspent two-to-one in a ruby-red district. Take it from us, Florida Republicans would much rather have kept this seat.

It's another example of Democrats outperforming expectations, especially since Dobbs. In 2023 alone, Democrats won mayors' races in Colorado Springs and Jacksonville and a crucial State Supreme Court race in Wisconsin. The six-week abortion ban in Ohio and the 15-week abortion ban in Virginia have crashed and burned. Judgeships matter. Elections matter.

As one of our favorite Democratic strategists says, "The fundamental problem Republicans face in 2024 is that their Presidential candidate and party are more unattractive than they've ever been. It's an unprecedented basket of awfulness." We cats agree, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Iowa Postscript

Here's a quick additional Iowa thought: It will be interesting to see what Benedict Donald does with the Hawkeye State's two most prominent 2024 defectors: Governor Kim Reynolds and evangelical idiot Bob Vander Plaats. Does he attempt to humiliate them? Or does he show them some rare magnanimity?

Prediction: He'll split the difference — humiliate Reynolds, because she's a woman, not his "type," and because he endorsed her when she ran unopposed. But he'll allow Vander Plaats, the guy, to crawl back into his good graces, if Bob is inclined to prostrate himself. We cats PURR.

Iowa: A Real Wreck

By Hubie and Bertie

Toronto's Globe & Mail newspaper has portrayed Benedict Donald's Iowa victory last night as a "thundering" one. Hmmm. We'll cut them some slack — they're Canadian, after all. How could a caucus in which nearly exactly half of the crazypants Republican voters chose someone other than Trump be thundering?

Well, maybe it is if you're the Trump campaign, and you hear ominous rumblings in the distance, like far-off but approaching cannon fire. They should take it as a warning.

Another sign of trouble ahead could include yesterday's low turnout — only 115,000, down from nearly 190,000 in 2016 (the last time there wasn't a Republican incumbent vying for the prize). You can't blame it all on the cold. Iowans are used to winter. Perhaps some of it was complacency, but maybe folks are just feeling tired of the old Trump shtick, and didn't feel excited enough about the opposition to show up.

Speaking of the opposition, what a mess they have on their hands. That perpetual fraud Nikki Haley was supposed to come in second, but instead she slipped to third, at 19.1 percent. Rhonda Santis ended up second at 21.2 percent. Otherwise, it was "Vivek, we hardly knew ye," as Ramaswamy dropped out after winning a paltry 7.7 percent.

This is all very good for us. With Rhonda landing in second place and Haley underperforming but allegedly expected to benefit in New Hampshire from Chris Christie's retirement, it's hard to imagine either of them dropping out for at least the next week or so. Which means they'll keep spending money and beating each other up. And they'll keep making stupid mistakes — Haley's already done it, in fact. And DeSantis surprising the pundits makes his bleating last night about "election interference" look even sillier. Excellent!

The only way this could have been better would have been if DeSantis and Haley had been closer, with bad votes in several counties calling second-place into question. But we'll take it. We cats PURR.

MLK Day #39

"In his grave we praise him for his decency, but when he walked among us, we responded with no decency of our own. Martin Luther King asked for nothing but that which was his due. He asked only for equality, and it is that which we denied him."

—Rod Serling

Flake Rate

By Miss Kubelik

The pundit asshats on cable TV all think that "the world's eyes will be trained on Iowa" tomorrow, but actually, the world's eyes will be trained on football. On the order of New York Governor Kathy Hochul, today's game between Buffalo and Pittsburgh was postponed to 4:30 pm Monday, due white-out conditions (they've had two feet-plus). And then there's another game at 8 pm. So, yep — football, all the way.

Nevertheless, the TV talkers will keep prattling about how momentous the now-obsolete Iowa caucuses are. (As pollster Larry Sabato points out, "The winner of the Iowa caucuses has been declared. It's the DEMOCRATS for dropping it.") The narratives they'll chase will include: Will Benedict Donald get over 50 percent? Will Nikki Haley threaten him as an unexpectedly solid second? Will Casey DeSantis tell Ron to drop out before or after New Hampshire? All very tiresome and silly.

Since nutcase Laura Loomer believes the Deep State is manipulating Iowa's brutal winter weather to rig the results, our preference would be for a low turnout. That would throw a nice wrench into everything, and get the GOP off on the wrong foot. But Trump has been showing some weakness of late — mentally and physically. So it might be worth keeping an eye peeled, just in case he lands unexpectedly in the 40 percent range. That would send everyone spiraling. We cats PURR.

Dynamite Dance

This isn't political, but we have to share: In a celebration of classical music in Warner Bros. cartoons tonight, we cats saw this new toon for the first time. How wonderful that today's animators are embracing the original Looney Tunes spirit, including "the kiss as insult." We cats PURR.

We'd Rather Be Us Than Them

By Zamboni

The way the pundits and prognosticators are acting, you'd think that the MAGA Republicans have magic powers that will get them back into the White House and Congress in 2024. We cats would like to push back against that mindset. The Republicans are, in fact, incredibly weak.

Witness Benedict Donald's tantrum in New York civil court today. He was performing for his MAGA fundraising base, because he knows the jig is up and Attorney General Tish James has won. Justice Engoron will surely impose withering financial penalties on him. The only recourse he has is to try to raise $25 contributions from idiots in trailer parks.

Meanwhile, in Washington, Preacher of the House Mike Johnson has run into the same problems Kevin McCarthy had in dealing with his crazyass right-wing caucus. "Conservatives met with Johnson," POLITICO's Jake Sherman reported, "They left saying Johnson is open to renegotiating top line. Johnson says he hasn’t committed to anything. If he does abandon the deal, that’s probably a shutdown and a huge problem with his relationship with Dems. If he doesn’t, right will feel like he turned their back on them." Ya think?

In short, Johnson has no easy answers to the conundrums that McCarthy dealt with (and failed).

And as long as we're on the subject of the House, how lame have the Republicans looked this week? From Elise "Elsie" Stefanik, who has earned scorn from all quarters for her "hostages" comment, to Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was stunned by Hunter Biden's walkout yesterday, to James Comer, who clearly doesn't know what he's doing, the GOP is laughable and flaccid. These are the people who are supposed to take the government back in November? Please. We cats HISS.

Hunter Puts Them On Their Heels

By Baxter

Rest assured, Benedict Donald was never seriously planning to make the final arguments in his New York fraud trial himself this week. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to predict that Judge Arthur Engoron would grant permission but only with the usual guardrails within which any defense attorney would have to work. And to which Trump, considering himself above the law, would never agree.

So now Trump can fundraise off of "being silenced," and, in fact, he probably already has. It's what he's always intended.

The Republican-led House Oversight Committee, by contrast, had their best-laid plans end up right in the crapper today. Although both Oversight and the House Judiciary Committee lamely voted to refer Hunter Biden for contempt of Congress, Hunter surprised them all by showing up — ready and willing to testify, but in public, not behind closed doors. As Representative Jasmine Crockett, one of our new Democratic superstars, explained, nobody wants to testify privately because, she said, "Y'all lie."

(Crockett had many magic moments dragging Republicans today. You can check out a few here.)

Another star on our side had to be Congressman Jared Moskowitz, who entered all the subpoenas that GOP members have ignored into the record, and dared the Trumpsters on the committee to hold them equally in contempt. "If you vote yes on contempt for them, I'll vote yes on Hunter," he basically said. Nobody took him up on it.

But the big winner today was Hunter himself, who, after presenting himself unexpectedly, staged a walkout just as Marjorie Taylor Greene was recognized to speak. He and his lawyers got up and left, the media stampeding right behind, thus denying Greene what she craved most — the cameras. (She was not happy.) People on Twitter started calling him "Dark Hunter." He's earning the name.

What the Republicans are quite stupidly doing is turning Hunter Biden into a sympathetic figure. (And by showing more naughty photos of him, a sex symbol — it doesn't hurt that he's handsome). You have to wonder if the few non-crazypants members in the GOP caucus are privately shaking their heads at James Comer, not just for being a hypocrite but for so badly mismanaging this clown show. We cats PURR.

Snipped?

As Congressman and Constitutional law professor Jamie Raskin has said, even the current Supreme Court might not be corrupt enough to accept Trump's immunity argument in the DC Court of Appeals today. That seems to be the consensus of a lot of people, actually. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press)

Self-Immolating

By Sniffles

In the 1961 movie The Day the Earth Caught Fire, the US and the Soviet Union simultaneously test nuclear bombs at the poles, causing our planet to tilt 11 degrees and start hurtling into the sun.

This past weekend, in real life, two state Republican parties 1,400 miles apart also began to spiral into flaming death. Or something very like it.

After weeks of turmoil, the Florida GOP finally defenestrated its rape-and-sex-scandal-plagued chairman, "Christian" Ziegler, during a closed-door meeting in Tallahassee. The last time they tried to give him the heave-ho back in December, Ziegler allegedly demanded $2 million in return for quitting. (Cheeky lad.) This time, Ziegler did not attend the confab, and he appears to have gotten bupkis.

Meanwhile, in Lansing, Michigan, state party pooh-bahs voted to fire their crazypants chairwoman, Kristina Karomo. Like Ziegler, Karomo was a no-show at the meeting, which she calls illegal, and she refuses to step down — so the saga, already a year long, continues. What's disturbing about the Karomo situation is not just that she's an election denier, but that Michigan Republicans would be probably be perfectly okay with her if she had not been such a disaster at fundraising.

So it's "World Doomed" for both state parties right now. Although Florida Republicans may have a better chance to right their listing ship with "Christian" out of the way, they and the Michigan GOP have been too busy infighting to lay the groundwork they need for Election 2024. They have sown the wind — will they reap the whirlwind? We cats PURR.

"You Can't Just Come On Here And Lie"

By Hubie and Bertie

Today was one of those days, sigh, when we couldn't escape Elise "Elsie" Stefanik on our Twitter feed. Talk about a reason to cut back on social media! But Elsie swung by Meet the Press this morning, and proceeded to debase herself by A) refusing to say she'd certify the 2024 election, and B) calling the convicted and imprisoned January 6 insurrectionists "hostages."

And what did MTP host Kristen Welker do? Stop Elsie in her tracks and ask her to explain? Circle back to it later, pointing out the many judges and juries who have found the Proud Boys and other miscreants worthy of decades in the hoosegow? Terminate the interview? Nope, none of those things. Welker is working very hard at making people miss Chuck Todd, something that once seemed impossible.

Congressman Jamie Raskin took Elsie to task on Twitter, calling on her to apologize to families of actual hostages, and hammering out questions that we wish journalists would ask. "Stefanik must explain herself," Raskin said. "Who's holding the J6 insurrectionists 'hostage'? Does she no longer believe violence is 'unacceptable' and 'must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law'? Does her change of heart have anything to do with wanting to be Trump’s running mate?"

We have news for Elsie and her false-eyelash, Ivanka-hair makeover: Trump will never pick you as his running mate. You can't deliver New York for him, and frankly, you'll never be good-looking enough for him. But to Kristen Welker and other so-called journalists who keep turning in these weak, embarrassing performances, we recommend the shining example by Symone Sanders of what you do when a MAGA nutjob comes on your show. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Precious Cargo

By Miss Kubelik

On this January 6 anniversary, take a moment to think about how it could have been worse.

Members of Congress could have been kidnapped or killed. (Has Mitt Romney written a thank-you note to Officer Eugene Goodman yet for saving his life?) Many more police officers could have died. The insurrectionists could have taken Congressional staffers hostage. They might have damaged or destroyed paintings and other great works of art that call the Capitol home.

And, except for some quick thinking by a Senate aide and Congressional staffers — all women — the certified electoral college ballots might have fallen into the hands of the Trumpsters. Thanks to these intrepid women, the boxes of ballots were secured and ready to be returned to the Senate chamber once order was restored.

They weren't the only copies, but if the rioters had gotten hold of them, certification could have been dangerously delayed. These women are the real patriots from January 6, and we thank them. We cats PURR.

"Is Democracy Still America's Sacred Cause?"

Okay, we know we're cheating, but instead of a brilliant blog post here's President Biden's speech at Valley Forge today, which was probably more eloquent than anything we could have written. We cats PURR.

Biden-Harris 2024 Kicks Off

"Our message is clear and simple. We are running a campaign like the fate of our democracy depends on it. Because it does."

—Julie Chavez Rodriguez, Campaign Manager, Biden-Harris

Women Are Not Safe In Red States

It's infuriating that for decades, pro-choicers weren't weren't better at explaining why abortion is healthcare. Sadly, without Roe, we're all finding out for real what that means. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Johnson Loses Johnson

By Zamboni

Harvard's not the only institution of higher learning roiled at the top. Youngstown State University is about to get a new president, and it's going over like a lead balloon with students, faculty and alumni.

That's because YSU's new leader will be Ohio Republican Congressman and ultra-MAGA election denier Bill Johnson. Not only is he an anti-choice, anti-marriage-equality, gun loving Trumpster, he has no experience in higher education — none. Nevertheless, the YSU trustees voted to offer him the job, and Johnson has resigned from Congress effective January 21, so he can start immediately.

We're sorry for everyone at YSU who cares about the quality of education at their school — but it's pretty interesting that Johnson is out the door so soon after Kevin McCarthy quit. Because it brings the Republicans' majority down to 219 — just three seats. You know how effective the House GOP was in 2023, with a slightly wider margin? Not very. They only passed 27 bills, which is pathetic. (But then, they were too busy going down MAGA rabbit holes to get anything substantive done for the American people.)

The new "Speaker," Mike Johnson, is nowhere near as skilled at managing his caucus as Nancy Pelosi was — or as Hakeem Jeffries is now. Which means 2024 will be another Capitol Hill clown show. It's also a handy reminder that the first measure of our chances to take the House back this year is right around the corner: There's a special election for George Santos's old seat in NY-03 on February 13. Here's how you can help our Democratic candidate, Tom Suozzi. We cats PURR.

Wordsmithing

By Baxter

Catching up on the news now that the holiday season is winding down? A few details from Jack Smith's opening brief to the DC Court of Appeals makes for some interesting reading.

The Court has agreed to fast-track Benedict Donald's appeal of Judge Tanya Chutkan's earlier (and correct) ruling that he has no absolute immunity from criminal prosecution, simply because he was President. The hearing will take place on January 9, and Smith filed his brief on Saturday. As you can imagine, it slams the idea of a President, any President, going scot-free for illegal actions. That notion, Smith said, "threatens to license Presidents to commit crimes to remain in office."

He also included a few additional (and scary) examples.

It "would grant immunity from criminal prosecution to a President who accepts a bribe in exchange for directing a lucrative government contract to the payer...who instructs the FBI Director to plant incriminating evidence on a political enemy...who orders the National Guard to murder his most prominent critics or...who sells nuclear secrets to a foreign adversary."

Holy smokes! Is this a sneak preview of Smith's prosecution? Would he dare to put these examples in writing if he didn't already intend to prove them? (They're pretty specific.) And is he setting up the Trumpsters on the Supreme Court, who will surely get the case after the DC Court rules? We can see the headlines now: "SCOTUS Says POTUS Can Sell Nuclear Secrets to Enemies." You have to admit that's clever.

Our admiration for Smith's deftness is tempered by a nagging worry that Vlad Putin, MBS and Kim Jong Un might know a hell of a lot more than they should about our nation's defenses. We cats HISS.