Look Out Behind You, Mr. Secretary!

By Sniffles

Whew. We know it's Halloween and all, but somebody really must have scared Lawrence Eagleburger.

Mr. Eagleburger is one of those former Secretaries of State whose endorsement John McCain is so proud of. So it was a little bit of an "oops" when he said yesterday that Sarah Palin wasn't ready to be President.

Well, somebody in the McCain campaign must have gotten hold of the former Secretary and unloaded on him. Because today — on Fox News, of course — he was desperately, desperately trying to take it back.

"I made a serious mistake yesterday," he babbled. "I wasn’t thinking when I said it... And I was just plain stupid."

What was most amazing about the Fox appearance was Mr. Eagleburger's demeanor. A man who has confidently represented America to the leaders of the world looked nervous and unsettled. Gosh, who called him? Steve Schmidt? He's pretty scary even under normal circumstances.

Although he's given us a good laugh today, we cats still HISS at Lawrence Eagleburger. Because the thing that's really frightening about this election is the thought of Sarah Palin a heartbeat away.

(Image: "Nosferatu," F.W. Murnau, 1922)

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

(Photo: Reuters, apparently in a vengeful mood)

President Gore Comes Back!

By Zamboni

President Gore is returning to Florida.

Really. He and Mrs. Gore are coming back to the state, to campaign for Senator Obama, for the first time since "Recount." What do you think that says about the importance of this election?

Not only that, but Senator Clinton has appeared at campaign events for Obama-Biden more than 70 times.

In the words of CNN's John King, "The Democratic Party is incredibly unified, and the Clintons are the exclamation point." 'Nuff said.

On the Subject of Bad Karma...

By Baxter

We cats go way back. Many, many moons ago, in a long-forgotten political campaign, we innocently confused two lists of Republican and Democratic members of Congress. Mayhem ensued. We still hide under the bed when we think of it.

Which means that we felt almost — but not quite — sorry for the hapless McCain staffer who didn't call Samuel J. Wurflenburgerschneiderbacher in time to attend this Republican rally in Ohio. Senator McCain called out to "Joe" and asked him to stand, only to find that he was not there. Sheesh, did McCain look stupid.

Any potential sympathy we had for the negligent staffer — especially considering the Republican nominee's reputed volcanic temper — was immediately squelched by Senator McCain himself, who urged the crowd to applaud the so-called Joe the Plumber "for what he's done for America."

For what he's done for America? As in what, not paying his taxes?

We cats SNARL. We know many, many other ordinary Americans who are more worthy of applause than Samuel J. Wurfenmeltzerschneiderwonder.

Sure Was a Lot Better Than "Pushing Up Daisies" on ABC

We loved Senator Obama's infomercial. And we can't wait to see if Wal-Mart fires the retired black guy who had to go back to work to pay for his wife's rheumatoid arthritis medication.

John McCain, Sayin' What Ain't So

By Sniffles

"No one will delay the World Series game with an infomercial when I'm President," the Republican nominee said yesterday.

Well, guess what. No one's doing that now.

A Fox Broadcasting executive has denied that Senator Obama's half-hour message to the nation will interfere with tonight's possibly deciding championship game.

"Our first pitch for the World Series is usually around 8:30 anyway — so we didn't push back the game, it was really just about suspending the pre-game [show]," Fox's Joe Coppola said.

But you know what? What if it did?

In other words, it's dawned on us cats that Senator McCain thinks baseball is more important than the following facts:

• Millions of people have lost their jobs and are losing their homes.
• Every American family with any retirement savings has seen those savings decline by at least 40 percent.
• We haven't gotten bin Laden after seven years.
• We're spending billions a month in Iraq.
  
• We're bogged down in Afghanistan with things slipping away.
• The whole world hates us.
• The United States is held hostage to imported oil.
• Our infrastructure is falling into the Mississippi River.
• Our budget is entirely out of whack.

We could go on, but you get the idea.

No, we cats love baseball, but we find Senator McCain's implication offensive. Because what he's really saying is that he knows best — so, you just sit in front of the T.V., mindlessly watching the rain in Philadelphia and drinking Cindy's beers, and don't trouble your tiny little brain about any of these problems.

Thank you very much. You betcha.

(Image: Major League Baseball)

Another View of the Paw Print

Car Spotted in Old Montreal, October 2008

We especially appreciate the paw print!

Getting Sticky Down in Florida

By Zamboni

Now that the McCain-Palin feud has degenerated into the use of such terms as "diva" and "whack job," we cats are taking a moment to examine someone whom Senator McCain didn't choose for the Republican ticket: Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

Our sources in the Sunshine State tell us that Governor Crist was passed over as Vice President because, among other reasons, he belongs to a demographic not tolerated — oh, heck, just out-and-out condemned — by the Christian Right.

Now, we cats don't pass judgment on that, although we'll be interested to see if the snowy-haired non-nominee actually goes through with his wedding this December. What's really grabbing our attention today is that Mr. Crist has suddenly overridden his Republican legislature and extended early voting hours throughout the state from eight hours to 12.

A few thoughts pass through our minds between catnaps.

First, we can't imagine that this is good news for the Republicans. The Obama campaign has mounted an unprecedented early-voting effort in Florida. And our "cat on the street" interviews from Miami tell us that the folks waiting in those long, long lines are not doing it so they can vote for John McCain.

Second, we're thinking that if Governor Crist has his eye on 2012, he might be trying to demonstrate that he's the kind of inclusive, progressive Republican governor that Jeb Bush was supposed to have been but never was.

Finally, we're wondering if this is a bit of a payback to Senator McCain for picking the diva instead.

We cats watch with patient interest. In the meantime, we're taking nothing for granted. We were on the phone at Obama HQ just this afternoon, getting out the (now extended) vote.

Change Is Whassup