GOP Takes a Page from Bettie

By Baxter

The blogosphere must be simply saturated with titters, grins and gossip since the Republican National Committee was caught sending its young donor prospects to a West Hollywood bondage club. We cats will not try to pile on, although we're mighty tempted.

We'd rather focus instead on Michael Steele — the hapless RNC chairman, who we can't help but notice has been conspicuously silent on Bondagegate.

First, we don't believe that he wasn't there — that he wasn't one of the attendees on whom the Committee dropped a cool $2,000 to entertain at the club. But for the moment, we're more interested in a different set of numbers: specifically, the National Journal's "political insiders poll."

Seventy-one percent of GOP pooh-bahs surveyed by the Journal said that Steele was a liability to the party. Only 20 percent called him an asset. A pretty bad take on Mr. Steele's leadership, no? But as Beltway pundits have observed, it's almost as impossible to take out a sitting RNC chair as it is to cashier a Pope.

It seems to us cats that the GOP insiders are playing a dangerous game. If Republicans end up doing as well in the midterms as they think they will, they'll be stuck with Steele into the 2012 Presidential cycle. But the only way to get rid of him is to fail to meet electoral expectations this November — which would not be good for the party. A conundrum, indeed.

We cats PURR at that thought. However, we fail to understand why some uber-wealthy Republican doesn't just throw a ton of money at Steele to take a job somewhere else and bow out gracefully. The problem? Since the party is controlled by wingnuts now, they'd just install another wacko to take his place.

We cats PURR again.

A Question of Loyalty

By Zamboni

More than a year after their historic 2008 election defeat, the state of the Republican Party is still pretty sorry-ass. We cats are ruminating on that today. (But we will, for the moment, decline to comment on Bud Day's recent, awful remarks in support of Charlie Crist — except to wonder why in world Republicans always seem to speak and think in racial and ethnic terms. It is, to say the least, really unattractive.)

Speaking of Mr. Crist, however, we cats are fascinated by the fact that the right-wingers and teabaggers — who overwhelmingly identify with the GOP — refuse to see him as a "real" Republican.

You see, Charlie has been a loyal party soldier throughout his electoral career — in the Florida legislature, the cabinet, and now, as Governor. In 1998, a year in which the Bob Graham machine steamrolled across the Sunshine State, Crist ran for Senate so that his party would at least have some semblance of a credible candidate on the ballot. Ten years later, he was being seriously considered for Vice President. When Republican Senator Mel Martinez decided to throw in the towel, Charlie jumped right in to save the seat. So — other than embracing a hugely popular Democratic President on a stimulus package that his state badly needed — Crist's GOP credentials are, we cats daresay, impeccable.

Yet, the right-wing nutcases who make up the party's base despise him.

Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is about as disloyal a Republican as she can be. Her husband joined an Alaskan independent/secessionist party that to this day encroaches on Republicans' absolute dominance of state politics. In 2006, she humiliated GOP legend Frank Murkowski in the Republican gubernatorial primary (and there's been little love lost between her and Mr. Murkowski's daughter Lisa ever since). Her rocky tenure as Governor was marked by feuds with her GOP-dominated state legislature, from Troopergate to ethics investigations. And she's taken her doomed 2008 Vice Presidential nomination and turned it into a celebrity-fueled money-making machine — not for the good of her party, but for herself.

Yet it's Palin who is the Republican star. If that doesn't demonstrate the precarious state of the Grand Old Party, we cats don't know what does.

Aiding and Abetting

By Sniffles

Goodness, we cats have been offline for a few days. But that's only because we've been unpacking boxes (and playing with the shredded packing paper and exploring our new house). However, our extreme busyness hasn't prevented us from catching a headline or two.

Specifically, about the teabaggers' growing propensity for violence.

We cats have always noticed that the teabaggers include some of America's more unsavory elements — casual racists, dedicated white supremacists, gun nuts, social outcasts. Many of them, we suspect, are government-haters who are living off Medicare, unemployment insurance or some other form of institutional aid. While that grimly amuses us, it also drives us crazy that they're too stupid to appreciate the irony.

But the wave of death threats, bricks through windows, racial epithets and nooses bothers us to no end. We cats SNARL — and state here and now that since the Republican Party is trying to figure out a way to hold these reprobates to their collective breast, should (God forbid) anything happen, we will consider the GOP and its leaders responsible.

Meanwhile, as for the teabaggers' recent gathering in Searchlight, Nevada: good heavens, but Sarah Palin's voice sounded shrill. We're certain that it reminded all those right-wing guys who want to get into her pants of their wives.

(IMAGE: "The Ox-Bow Incident," 1943)

Signs of the Times

By Baxter

We cats are on the road, heading for our new home in suburban Washington, D.C. We should get there tomorrow. President Obama has invited us to an event at the White House this weekend to celebrate the new healthcare reform law, but as excited as we are by the Democrats' legislative triumph, we may be too busy unpacking to attend.

In the meantime, here is the most amusing sign we saw in our travels today. You know, there once was a time when the words "Mark Sanford, Governor" didn't inspire peals of derisive laughter, but we cats can barely remember them. Anyway, the state government obviously has decided against spending the money to remove the embarrassing adulterer's name. He'll be gone from office pretty soon anyway.

Because of its singular talent for producing Republican idiots, we cats did try to refrain from spending any tourist dollars in the Palmetto State this afternoon. But we were forced to drop 50 cents for coffee at a rest stop. Even that small transaction brought wry smiles to our furry faces. Only in South Carolina can a shot of Cuban coffee be called "Cafe Americano." And, after all — shouldn't it be Argentine?

Teabaggers = Crazy Racist Mob

By Zamboni

Veterans of the civil rights movement, now members of Congress, today were subjected to abuse that they haven't experienced in 50 years.

A crowd of teabaggers, demonstrating at the Capitol, shouted racial and homophobic epithets and spat upon Congressmen John Lewis, Barney Frank and Emanuel Cleaver.

Ha. We cats always knew that the tea partyers were a bunch of unhinged, dangerous, racist pigs. Now they've proved it (as if they hadn't done so before). Just when we think the right's behavior couldn't get any worse, it does.

We cats would HISS and SNARL in response, but instead we'll just take a page from John Cleese's wackily insulting French knight in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Teabaggers, we blow our nose at you, and fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Pre-Healthcare Vote Edition

By Sniffles

We cats are intrigued by today's news about the possible vote on healthcare reform this Sunday. Is it going to happen, at long last? Perhaps so — since the Congressional Budget Office has estimated that the legislation will reduce the federal deficit by $138 billion. But what's most interesting to us is that President Obama has decided to delay an overseas trip so he can be in town for the passage. Where was he going? Rupert Murdoch's home country, actually.

So Idaho has passed a law rejecting healthcare reform before it's even enacted. You know what we cats think? The federal government should stop all Medicare payments to the Gem State, right now, without delay. Wonder how much that'll help the budget deficit?

Meanwhile, Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter sat down for dinner in Plains, Georgia the other night with four political writers from Canada. "There were absolutely no ground rules," one participant blogged. The former President and First Lady were in fine form and opining on just about everything. We cats are not surprised, knowing the Carters as we do. We just can't imagine, say, George W. Bush doing the same thing — that is, being confident enough to hold forth at a dinner party with intelligence, deftness and grace.

Speaking of Jimmy Carter, which makes us think of the Middle East, we cats recall once posting that we thought Benjamin Netanyahu was a gigantic pain in the ass. Considering what happened last week, we rest our case.

And last but not least, let us turn our attention this Thursday afternoon to the spectacle of Republican infighting. We cats like it better than almost anything, and the GOP is giving us great theater in so many states. Today, we see that in Arizona, the right-wing nutbag J.D. Hayworth is behind John McCain by just seven points in the Republican Senate primary. Since we will never forgive McCain for foisting the famous quitter from Alaska on us, we cats PURR. But we warn Arizonans: Prepare for some nutty behavior. You know how unhinged McCain gets when he's under the gun.

A Moment of Reflection

When times are tough, it's good to know that our friends are here to help us resurface the choppy ice rink of life.

Dunces, Dunces, Everywhere

By Baxter

Oh, great.

We cats were all enthusiastic about the idea of moving to the Virginia side of suburban Washington, D.C. — and then, we realized that someone named "Ken Cuccinelli" existed up there.

This "Ken Cuccinelli" person is apparently the attorney general of the Commonwealth of Virginia. Now, we cats have suffered through some pretty bad attorneys general — both federally and on the state level. We're thinking John Mitchell, Ed Meese, John Ashcroft, Michael Mukasey, Charlie Crist, Bill McCollum... But oh, this "Cuccinelli." He takes the cake.

First, "Ken Cuccinelli" tried to tell Virginia's universities that they had to end their bans on discrimination against gays. Now, he's been caught questioning President Obama's citizenship.

"Ken Cuccinelli" has tried to say that it's all a big misunderstanding, but we know how these right-wing maniacs work — they go all frenzied and extreme-y on us, and then try to walk it back by saying they were just speculating on hypotheticals, or some such nonsense. When really, they've just been caught wearing their little wingnut hearts on their sleeves.

We cats SNARL at "Ken Cuccinelli," and have this message for him. Sir, as soon-to-be new Virginia residents, we are looking forward to enthusiastically voting against you — as soon as we possibly can.

On the Road Again

We cats are heading to the National Capital area for the weekend. Well, actually, our owners are. We're staying in our tropical five-paw cat hotel one last time. But in less than a fortnight, mind you, we three (and, it's rumored, four) will hit the road for our brand-new digs outside of Washington, D.C.!

We'll try to post over the next few days if we can, but you may not hear from us until early next week.

(PHOTO: Manassas [Bull Run], Virginia)

There Is Nothin' Like a WASP

By Zamboni

In a week that began with Hollywood's royalty collecting little golden statues, it's only fitting that we cats pause today to recognize a group that really earned the gold.

The Congressional Gold Medal, that is. Yep, we're talking WASPs.

About 200 surviving Women Air Force Service Pilots — brash old dames who flew in World War II but who had to wait for the Presidency of Jimmy Carter to get their rightful veteran status — were honored today on Capitol Hill. And we cats say, it's about frickin' time.

See, we were lucky enough to know a WASP. Like so many of her fellow pilots, Kaddy Landry Steele is no longer with us, and we cats miss her every day. But thankfully, four wonderful minutes of her are available here, on YouTube.

How Kaddy would have loved today's ceremony. But we happen to know, confidentially, that she was very well represented. We cats PURR.

Cat Fight! Freepers vs. Graham

By Sniffles

How are the right-wing nutbags handling the abuse that's being hurled Liz Cheney's way — not from liberals like ourselves, but from conservatives like Bush Administration lawyers and, good heavens, Kenneth Starr?

The answer, it seems, is "Not very well." Confronted with cogent, logical arguments as to why Cheney's attacks on DOJ lawyers constitute a whole new McCarthyism, the nutcases on the right are reduced to personal attacks.

Here's the latest case in point — posters at Free Republic, reacting to Republican Senator Lindsay Graham, who had the temerity to say the following:

“A defense attorney who is making the government do their job regardless of the nature of the case is making this whole country a better place. I represented people as a defense attorney in the military that were charged with some pretty horrific acts and I gave them my all.”

To the Freepers, that sentiment is downright un-American, and Lindsey himself is obviously a limp-wristed traitor. Witness their comments:

"At 52, the life-long bachelor has been fodder for such rumors for years, but with the resignation of Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho... the Internet is abuzz over who's next, and they're dying to know what's going on in Graham's bedroom."

"The very many stupids from South Carolina re-elected this pos [sic] graham [sic] in 2008. He has a way to go unless they impeach him or he dies of, say, a heart attack."

"There has to be some real ‘dirt’ on a wanker this inept."

"Lindsey Graham? Who cares what she says?"

"How in the hell did a red state like SC come up with this guy?"

"[Could we] convince Liz to move to South Carolina and run for office?"

Ahhh, Freepers. This is their M.O.: Don't argue the larger issue — i.e., whether defendants are entitled to representation. Attack the messenger.

We cats think that Liz Cheney — whoever she is — would probably approve.

Eric Massa: Right-Wing Hero

By Baxter

Oh, yeah, here's a guy you want your kids to grow up being like: Eric Massa.

The former Democratic Congressman — who resigned amid allegations of sexual misconduct and who belatedly tried to say that Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic leadership railroaded him out of Congress in order to pass healthcare reform — isn't exactly a knight in shining armor. No matter how hard the right wing tries to make him so.

In an interview with FOX's resident mental case, Glenn Beck, Massa said, “Now they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. It was ‘kill the old guy.’”

Tickle games? We don't want to know. Seems like something that would fall in the same category as toga parties. Mr. Massa, you go ahead and compete for the Mark Foley Maturity Award. Meanwhile, we Democrats are busy trying to pass legislation that will help Americans.

And the fact that you made a point of talking about Rahm Emanuel being naked in the House gym locker room says a lot more about you than it does about Rahm.

We cats would HISS — but we're far more interested in seeing what the Freepers think about Lindsey Graham going after Liz Cheney. More later!

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Post-Oscar Edition

By Zamboni

Gosh, we cats never thought we'd see the day when we agree with Kenneth Starr. But the man who was so obsessed with President Clinton's sex life now has gone after Liz Cheney for her McCarthy-like tactics against DOJ lawyers. We give a low PURR in Mr. Starr's direction (but only a low one, because we know how easily he gets excited). And we have two questions: First, why should any of us care what Liz Cheney thinks? And second, why aren't people scolding Bill Kristol too?

Seriously, whoever this Cheney person is, we hope she gets some therapy.

Speaking of people who need therapy, Sarah Palin apparently admitted over the weekend that her family used to routinely visit Canada for its excellent health care. Quite a surprise considering how the famous quitter from Alaska has vilified Canada's single-payer system. Therefore, we can only conclude that Palin is either a liar or a hypocrite. We vote for both.

And on the subject of voting, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences elected its "best" last night. We cats admit we did not watch, although many people apparently did. We're just relieved that James Cameron came away pretty much empty-handed. We still haven't forgiven him for the multiple hairballs we hacked over "Titanic." (You know... that movie with the screenplay that was written by a 16-year-old girl.)

But, we digress. We've just learned that the Supreme Court will decide whether Fred Phelps' hate speech is Constitutionally protected. We cats are bracing ourselves.

Gurney / Nixon / Crawford

By Sniffles

Oh, boo hoo. The ever-smirking Craig Crawford is leaving MSNBC. Our little feline hearts are broken. (NOT!)

Among other reasons — such as citing a distaste for "lefty games" (??!) — Mr. Crawford said he was leaving the network because he objected to being called a racist last year by Chris Matthews. "Probably should have resigned then and there, but better late than never," he posted at CQ Politics. And claimed to be bolting to FOX.

Hm. We cats fail to recall the "racist" incident, which allegedly occurred on air after the West Virginia primary. But as Craig Crawford got his start in politics as a hatchet boy for Ed Gurney, we pause before we condemn Mr. Matthews.

Nobody today remembers Ed Gurney, of course — at least, none of the children currently in journalism. He was a corrupt Republican Representative, and then U.S. Senator, from Florida. His one claim to fame, which he didn't really relish because he just loooooooooved Richard Nixon, was his service on the Senate Watergate Committee. (We cats well remember Mr. Gurney complaining that the Nixon Administration was being "harassed." What a jerk.)

Anyway, the bottom line is this: No Republican got elected to Congress from (at the time) yellow-dog Central Florida in the early '60s without being a friend of the Klan. No Republican got elected Senator in 1968 on Richard Nixon's coattails without being someone white racists would be very comfortable supporting.

Craig, we cats think you doth protest too much. If we were a smirking Republican-lover like you, we'd be grateful for any paying gig on a network that still attempts to actually report and cover news — thus giving a small measure of quasi-respectability. Good riddance — and have fun with Sarah and the other "journalists" in the litter box that Murdoch and Ailes have built.

And They Can't Spell, Either!

By Baxter

Republicans are idiots.

Although there is ample evidence of that statement everywhere, let's just focus today on the fine folks at the Republican National Committee, who created a PowerPoint report on party fund raising and presented it last month at a Florida resort.

Ladies and gentlemen, we cats HISS at you, but not for the reason you may suspect. Cruella de Vil's last name is NOT spelled "De Ville." (It's "de Vil" — like "devil" — get it? Sheesh.)

All these grammatical and spelling errors are getting mighty annoying. The rest of the stuff in the presentation — "evil empire," cartoon characters — we simply laugh at. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

However, we do have one caveat — and it's to anybody who writes a check to the GOP.

When we cats were involved in fund raising, one thing we never, ever did was dis the donors. This PowerPoint presentation does just that, repeatedly. We doubt that Republican supporters appreciate being portrayed as "ego-driven" people who are motivated by "tchotchkes."

Lesson of the day: Beware of any group that assumes you are a fool.

Rabbit Season, Duck Season

By Zamboni

We cats were watching "The American Experience" on PBS last night — the show about Dolley Madison — and throughout, we were basically marveling at our nation's general ignorance of American history. Goodness gracious, if we superior felines were learning something from a public T.V. documentary, how clueless are rank and file Americans about how our country was born?

That's just one reason that we're distressed by today's report from the Southern Poverty Law Center about right-wing extremism in the U.S. Not that we're surprised, mind you — just distressed.

The SPLC reports that right-wing groups angry at President Obama's election, at immigrants and at tough economic times has reached a fever pitch. Anti-immigrant groups have exploded by 80 percent, and so-called "patriot" groups have roared back after eight years of dormancy under George W. Bush.

We cats are grimly amused, because we know in our hearts that these right-wingers are folks who think they're embodying the values of our country's founders — when, in reality, they couldn't be farther from that truth.

The one thing that tempers our amusement, however, is the topic that occupied the attention of the Supreme Court yesterday: guns. Surely sentiments like these are dangerous in a firearm-happy nation.

We cats worry.