Does Donald Drumpf personify the most obnoxious American you've ever met? Quite possibly. He's rude, ignorant, a braggart, full of himself, and more than likely to lunge for your lips or your breasts or your billybush if he's just met you and you happen to be a woman.
But after months of vitriol, Drumpfian idiocy and Republican enabling of same, here comes a breath of fresh air from our Neighbor to the North. Out of the blue, like a maple-flavored, goose-down-clad flash mob, Canadians have taken to social media to console and assure us that everything's okay.
"Tell America It's Great" has already inspired tons of positive tweets in support of the land of E pluribus unum — citing classic American attributes like "Your incredible national pride," "Your desire to aid a world in crisis" and "Your drive to always lead the charge for change." "You have Oprah!" another tweeter enthused. And "Nobody does road trips, baseball parks, parades and fireworks better than the US," declared yet another.
Okay, as unsentimental as we are, we admit that these tweets make us a little misty-eyed. But more important, it's clear that all these nice Canadians know the truth: It is not America that has lost its mind — just one of its political parties.
Why else would they rush to reassure us that our institutions and our legacy won't be besmirched by the demagogic jackass that the Republicans have nominated this year? They don't make us all own this debacle. But we'd bet that if Canadians were less kind, and if someone started a hashtag "Tell Republicans They Suck," more than a few would be tempted to chime in.
But let's not end on a sour note. We cats don't know what will happen to the GOP in the coming weeks and months, but we do know that despite the antics of the Party of Lincoln's nominee, America will get through this. We're so grateful for neighbors who have our back. And we PURR.
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