By Sniffles
How can it be that Donald Drumpf is a teetotaler? Because his online behavior is so bizarre. Surely this is someone who drunk-tweets — or something tweets.
But we're trying to make excuses for the fact that Drumpf has, as of 4:32 PM today, called the press "the enemy of the American people."
We could get into an entire lecture about the dangers of equating oneself with the country ("L'état, c'est moi"), but we won't bother. Let us just say that after today's tweet, any self-respecting journalists who attend that farce known as the White House Correspondents' Dinner have got to have their heads examined.
What more reason do you need, folks? Drop out now. Or buy tickets and don't show up. That would make us cats PURR.
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