"I Could Stand In The Middle Of Fifth Avenue And Shoot Someone"

By Hubie and Bertie

The Edward VIII-Benedict Donald parallels keep coming. In December, we cats observed the similarities between a Nazi sympathizer stepping away from the British throne, and another Nazi sympathizer getting tossed out of the White House by more than 81 million American voters.

Now, we've just finished reading a new book about the 1936 abdication, and oh, my.

The Crown in Crisis makes it very clear that Donald and the Duke of Windsor were, personality-wise, separated at birth. Edward was selfish, dishonest, bad with money, and completely oblivious to the feelings and concerns of others. He sat atop the British government, but had no understanding of its constitution or political processes. He thought he could do anything he wanted because he was popular — a 1930s-style global celebrity.

"No man in history has ever been so fulsomely adulated...and the result was his unshakeable conviction that he could get away with murder," one courtier wrote after Edward went into exile.

Sound familiar? And oh yes, they're both Nazis. We cats HISS.

It's Queasy Being Greene

By Miss Kubelik

It's really good that Georgia has two fantastic new Democratic Senators to boast about. Otherwise, the Peach State would be simply consumed by its newest embarrassment, freshman Republican House member Marjorie Taylor Greene. This nutty woman has had more "ink" (a quaint term from the days when there was only print media) than we can track in the space of a week. But that's what happens when you're off-the-charts crazy.

We've refrained from commenting on Greene because part of us didn't want to add to the cacophony. Besides, you just know she loves the attention, so why give it to her? Apparently the White House agrees with us, too.

But now the political world has reached a point of no return. It's clear that Greene isn't going to follow Hillary Clinton's example of how to behave when you first arrive on Capitol Hill: Keep your head down, find mentors, learn the ropes, be responsible, do the job.

Nope, Greene has decided her best path as a new member of the club is to flout rules, pack heat, dodge the metal detectors, resist masks, and threaten colleagues. And be unrepentant about it all. (Although she's frantically scrubbing endorsements of violence from her social media posts. Marjorie doesn't understand that the internet is forever.)

In response, Congressman Jimmy Gomez from California has introduced a resolution to have Greene expelled. Representatives Sara Jacobs, also of California, and Nikema Williams of Georgia are demanding Greene's resignation (on pain of expulsion if she refuses to comply). Between that and today's dust-up with Congresswoman Cori Bush of Missouri, this seems to be building to a head.

If you're hoping that this idiot woman's behavior will cause the Republican Party to have a come-to-Jesus moment on embracing racists and mountebanks like Greene and Donald Trump, you're going to be disappointed. If Greene is run out of town on a rail, it will be a question of human resources, not ideology. Greene and other nutjobs like Lauren Boebert from Colorado and Paul Gosar from Arizona have made the House of Representatives a hostile workplace. Which will allow the GOP to dodge the issue once again. We cats HISS.

Cicely Tyson Has Ascended.

 

As usual, former White House photographer Pete Souza posts a photo that's more eloquent than the most moving epitaph. We cats PURR.

Cleaning House

 

By Zamboni

Team Biden-Harris has not only met our expectations for their first week on the job — they've wildly exceeded them.

Rejoining the Paris Agreement and the WHO, halting the Muslim ban, jump-starting the COVID fight with the Defense Production Act, reversing the trans ban in the military, dropping the anti-choice "gag rule" — all of this and more have us near tears of joy. The downside, of course, is that there's a lot to fix and no time to waste. But Biden has moved in a stellar team of highly experienced people who know what they're doing. And he's doing it aggressively.

Trumpily, in fact. Or Mitchily. Or, just say that he's boldly going where generally only Republicans have gone before.

Because we Democrats believe in government, we're often hamstrung by our respect for process. But after four years of Benedict Donald, Biden is turning the tables and giving the destroyers of government a taste of their own medicine — for example, the flurry of Executive Orders (which Congressional Republicans are now whining about). Even more delicious: Biden is firing Trump holdovers who were supposed to "burrow" into government and still call the shots long after their seditious boss's departure for Mar-a-Lago.

They placed Trumpster Michael Ellis at the National Security Agency on administrative leave. And they sacked Victoria Coates at the Agency for Global Media. "The Biden team told Coates...that it did not care that her contract called for her to serve at least two years and that she could not be removed unless she was convicted of a felony," reports The New York Times. "Her email was cut off at the end of last week."

Will Coates sue? As Benedict Donald would say, see you in court — years from now. We cats PURR.

Terrorists, Then And Now

By Baxter

Back in 2009, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano issued a report that labeled right-wing extremism as a major threat to the security of the United States.

And Republicans lost their minds.

Crazy Congress members like Michele Bachmann and Virginia Foxx demanded that Napolitano resign or be fired. Apparently it was too many years after the Oklahoma City bombing for the report to resonate with folks, or maybe they were just being willfully blind and stupid. (Obviously the latter.) The uproar was intense enough to force Napolitano to walk it back.

A mistake, we thought then. And in the after the assault on the Capitol this past January 6, it would be an even bigger mistake now.

We're bracing ourselves because DHS has just issued a National Terrorism Advisory bulletin, alerting Americans to a heightened threat of violence following last week's Presidential Inauguration. Security officials are concerned that nutcases like the mob that stormed the Capitol may feel "emboldened" by the event and try to further target elected officials, federal property, and "critical infrastructure, including the electric, telecommunications and healthcare sectors." 

Sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. Feeding it are the MAGA crowd's petulant reactions to COVID-19 restrictions and their misguided beliefs on the 2020 Presidential election — all of which, by the way, can be laid right at the despicable feet of Donald Trump.

Dear DHS: Don't walk this back, please. Janet Napolitano was correct 12 years ago, and sadly, this latest bulletin seems right on the money today. We cats HISS.

Giving Chase

By Sniffles

This is how you do it, Democrats.

Even with lots of good stuff going on — President Joe Biden reversing a ton of Donald Trump's executive orders with EOs of his own, for instance — a few disconcerting warning signs are cropping up. Mitch McConnell thinking he can still dictate the rules of the Senate is one. The Supreme Court tossing the emoluments case against Trump is another. It's unclear what forces will be arrayed against this and other outrages.

However, other folks who share our values seem to have figured it out. The recap in today's New York Times about progressive groups mobilizing to fight Benedict Donald's post-election assault on democracy was a deeply satisfying read. And the Virginia Senate, now in Democratic hands, is handling gun-nut State Senator Amanda Chase exactly right.

Chase faces censure in Richmond for her strong support of the traitors and insurrectionists who breached and looted the US Capitol on Wednesday, January 6. Senate Democrats were willing to refrain from punishing her if she would apologize. (Chase was at Trump's rally on the Ellipse that day, but says she did not march to the Capitol. She saw the rioters on her hotel room TV and called them "patriots who love their country." Which is what set this whole thing off.)

Chase agreed to the deal — only to give one of those highly qualified "if I have offended any of you" dodges, thinking her colleagues would let it go. She thought wrong.

"Her apology fell far short of what I had discussed with her three times," said the State Senator sponsoring the censure resolution. Her statement was "not even close," declared the Majority Leader. 

The censure will go forward. (The Face Thing has already banned her.) Now all Democrats have to do is find the right candidate to send Amanda Chase's pistol-packing butt back to oblivion. We cats PURR.

We Lied.

"Not very hungry, so I shall play with it first."

Okay, Just One More, But That's It, We Swear.

 

"[Trump] is the only President in American history who incited an insurrection against Congress that could have resulted in assassinations and hostage-taking and, conceivably, the cancellation of a free Presidential election and the fracturing of a democracy.

 

"That’s a fact, and it won’t change in 50 years. It’s very hard to think of a scenario under which someone might imagine some wonderful thing that Donald Trump did that will outshine that. He did, literally, the worst thing that an American President could ever do."

—Presidential historian Michael Beschloss, in The Atlantic

But Obviously, This Is Our Favorite.

By Hubie and Bertie

Bernie Sanders has told cable news that his staff has shared his Inaugural memes with him, and he seemed amused about it. So add him to the list of Prominent Vermonters Who Are Good Sports About Potentially Embarrassing Stuff. We cats PURR.

Bernie In Oz

These are getting better and better...

Bernie Goes To Broadway

This is the kind of stuff that Twitter was made for. (By the way, isn't it wonderful that Benedict Donald can't tweet any more?) We cats PURR.

Bernie Joins The Nighthawks

Bernie Sanders is not someone whose ankles we cats would leap to rub against. But this Inaugural meme is one of the best things to come out of a week that was already pretty darn good. We cats PURR.

Bernie Goes To Montreal

Some of the Bernie Sanders Inaugural memes have been funny, while others haven't really worked. In our admittedly biased opinion, this Bernie-rides-the-Montreal-Metro is one of the best. The caption: "When you take the Metro and you know that it's going to be minus-20 Centigrade when you go outside." We cats PURR.

"The Hill We Climb"

We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one

 
We will rise from the gold-limned hills of the West

We will rise from the windswept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution 

We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the Midwestern states,
We will rise from the sunbaked South
 

We will rebuild, reconcile and recover
and every known nook of our nation and
every corner called our country, 

Our people diverse and beautiful will emerge,
battered and beautiful

 
When day comes we step out of the shade,
aflame and unafraid
The new dawn blooms as we free it
For there is always light, 

If only we’re brave enough to see it
If only we’re brave enough to be it.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Biden-Harris Inaugural Edition

By Miss Kubelik

"President Biden." Suddenly there is music in the sound of that name. And everything went so well today that we cats didn't even miss the crowds or the silly parade. We're also looking forward to "Celebrating America," the TV show that's going to be way more fun for those of us in the cheap seats than any Inaugural balls.

AND what a treat: On the eve of the big event, a fabulous rumor circulated, that Donald Trump is thinking of starting his own political party. Great! Please do it, Donald — you'll hasten the death of the GOP. It'll be the Whigs and the Know-Nothings redux, will dry up Republican grass-roots fundraising, and is sure to throw their 2024 primaries into further turmoil. (Betcha the My Pillow guy has been whispering in Trump's ear about this. Keep it up, guys!)

But enough about America's worst President. Let's move on to Biden-Harris, with joy and relief.

Today's best bits: Amanda Gorman, showing every writer on earth how it's done. Lady Gaga doing the same for would-be belters of song (and in a fabulous dress). Doug Emhoff rescuing Kamala's fallen earring on their walk to the OEOB. Kamala swearing in three new Democratic Senators (thank you, Georgia!). Q Anon getting very upset and confused. And Michelle Obama's queenly couture, taking our breath away.

Also swell: Biden's shout-out to Jimmy Carter. (Joe was the first Senator to endorse Carter in 1976.)

Most hilarious bits: Bernie Sanders, sitting like a cranky old man outside the fitting rooms at Loehmann's. Moose & Squirrel's cheap-curtains caftan (she really doesn't care, does she?). Ted Cruz trying to pretend he didn't try to disenfranchise 81 million Americans. Historian Michael Beschloss, unchained. And Hallie Jackson's tweet from 12:01 PM: "The pool of reporters traveling with now-former President Trump peels away from Mar-a-Lago. That’s it, folks." We cats PURR.

End Of The Meme

More later on the Biden-Harris Inauguration, which is the best day America's had in a long time. Meanwhile, we cats PURR.

"America United"

By Zamboni

Amid all the stories about Washington being in lockdown, like a war zone, and overrun with the National Guard... somehow, this happened.

Nearly 200,000 flags were planted on the Mall and spectacularly illuminated for the first time last night. They'll stand in for all the people who would have attended the 2021 Inauguration in normal times, and will honor some of the 400,000 Americans whom Benedict Donald and his hapless Administration have managed to kill with COVID.

You can't help wondering what Trump thinks when he sees something like this. He'll certainly get a bird's-eye view when he travels before first light tomorrow to Andrews AFB for his 8 a.m. "autocrat's adieu."

A lot of attention has gone to the disgruntled Trumpsters and Q-crazies, but we hold firm to our theory that the country is a lot less divided than the pollsters portray. After all, we've had the horror that was Benedict Donald to unite us. We cats PURR.

Randy Rainbow's Trump Sendoff

 

No red carpet, no military bands, no 21-gun salute — just a clever parody of "Seasons of Love" from the musical Rent. We cats PURR.

Priorities

By Baxter

Joe Biden has wanted to be President for at least 30 years if not more. On Wednesday, he'll finally get his wish —but this Inauguration isn't going to be like Inaugurations past.

We're in a pandemic. So we already knew there would be major differences. No big crowds at the swearing in, no throngs lining the parade route, no Inaugural Balls. That already was a bit of a shame — a kind of aw, shucks moment when you realize that Joe and Jill won't get to dance that big first dance, and Jill won't have a gown to donate to the Smithsonian's First Ladies hall.

On the other hand, Joe and Jill are grownups who have been around the Washington block quite a few times. So you knew they'd roll with it.

But the person whose seat Biden is taking in the the Oval Office is not normal. Already a mobster and traitor, Donald Trump is also a deeply damaged sociopath and narcissist. So he never called Biden to concede, never hosted him for the symbolic outgoing-incoming Presidential visit, and — to put it mildly — never cooperated with the transition. (We won't get into inciting violence and undermining democracy.) He never placed the traditional phone call to invite the Bidens to stay at Blair House on Inauguration Eve (the State Department did it). Coffee at the White House on Inauguration morning is obviously out. And who thinks he'll leave a note in the drawer of the Resolute Desk, wishing Biden well?

The good news? Joe Biden doesn't care about any of this. And neither do we. All we ask is for our new President and Vice President get safely sworn in on Wednesday. The rest is gravy. (Or tuna.) We cats PURR.

Miscreants

 

By Sniffles

Every time we check the news, we see more stories about Trump mob members getting arrested. Yay! And as you can see from this (slightly altered for grins) "wanted" poster, the FBI is working hard to haul even more Trumpy reprobates off to the hoosegow.

The one we're really looking forward to is Lauren Boebert, the nutcase freshman Congresswoman from Colorado who not only is facing protests and recall petitions back home in her (quite conservative) district, but who could be in hot water for the January 6 insurrection itself. Tweeps are urging law enforcement to confirm (or disprove) that the pink-hatted woman with a bullhorn who directed rioters through a broken Capitol window was Boebert's mother — to whom the new member had allegedly given a thorough tour of the building just the day before.

Also, color us skeptical about Wesley Beeler of Front Royal, Virginia, who was arrested yesterday at a security checkpoint with faked Inaugural credentials, an unlicensed gun and 500 rounds of unregistered ammunition. "I got lost," he said tearfully. God, these Trumpsters are snowflakes.

With all these crazy people running around and feeling emboldened — and we haven't even gotten through whatever is supposed to happen at state capitals tomorrow — we hope Team Biden will follow the suggestion of Larry Sabato and move the Inauguration into the Rotunda. Safety is paramount, of course — but far from being a retreat from the terrorists, a move into a space recently besmirched by MAGA scum would actually be a reaffirmation that the Capitol belongs to Americans who believe in and support the Constitution. We cats PURR.

Pences: No Manners, No Grace

By Hubie and Bertie

A lot has happened in the last week and half. But if we cats had Mike Pence in front of us at a press conference, we would ask him, "Have you and Mother had Kamala and Doug to the Naval Observatory yet? And if not, why not?"

They have not had Kamala and Doug over, of course.

This makes us sick. Because Benedict Donald and Moose & Squirrel are psychopaths and criminals, we long ago gave up the idea that they would welcome Joe and Jill to the White House for a post-election visit. But Mike Pence and Mother have ambitions that require some track record of Washington normalcy. And since they profess to be Christians, you'd think that they would be gracious and welcome their successors to the VP's residence for a get-acquainted lunch.

After all, that's what Joe and Jill Biden did for them in 2016. Right?

It looks like it took a violent, cop-killing mob threatening his life to get Pence to do the right thing. Today he called Kamala Harris and congratulated her. Still no word, though, on whether Pence invited her and Doug to have a bite and take a tour. We cats HISS.

The Spirit Of King

By Miss Kubelik

Today is Martin Luther King's actual birthday — not Monday, which is Martin Luther King Day Observed. Dr. King has been gone for more than 50 years, but it's pretty stunning, and depressing, how relevant his words remain today.

"We all too often have socialism for the rich and rugged free-market capitalism for the poor," he said. How true. We blame Republicans, because that's their mantra in a nutshell.

Among all the screaming headlines today about GOP and cop complicity in the January 6 insurrection, mounting daily deaths from the coronavirus, and the Administration lying about vaccine reserves, it's kind of comforting to see capitalism hard at work to punish the Trumpsters. Like the myriad corporations that are cutting off contributions to Congress members who voted to overturn the election. Or the many Trump staffers who are finding it tough to even get interviews for new jobs. Couldn't happen to nicer people.

Now, here's the latest: Dominion, the voting machine company, has gone totally badass on Trumpsters who are trashing its reputation. You may have heard about the suit for $1.3 billion that the company has brought against uber-Trumpy nutcase Sidney Powell — who, the company avers, has severely damaged its reputation. (And Dominion intends to take it to trial — delicious!) But the suit against Powell is not the only one. Looks like Dominion's been going after all sorts of right-wing idiots. And one of them has just folded in a big, big way.

The editor of the fascist website American Thinker just admitted that their Dominion allegations are total crap. "[Our] statements are completely false and have no basis in fact. Industry experts and public officials alike have confirmed that Dominion conducted itself appropriately, and that there is simply no evidence to support these claims. It was wrong for us to publish these false statements. We apologize to Dominion for all of the harm this caused them and their employees."

How fabulous is that? Well, here's more: Dominion has also sent letters to FOX "News," OANN and Newsmax, informing them of their intention to pursue legal remedies for the damage they've caused. Stand by to see if these outlets are similarly brought to their knees.

Money talks, doesn't it? Usually, the big-bucks folks aren't on the side of the American people, but when it comes to managing the fallout from Trump, it appears they are. If Dr. King were around today, he'd be 92, and we think he'd get a good laugh out of it all. We cats PURR.

More Pillaging

Now here's US Trade Representative Peter Navarro stealing his favorite portrait of Lindsey Graham from the White House. We really must learn how to Photoshop someday! We cats PURR.

Pillaging

By Zamboni

A while back, we cats openly wondered whether the White House and its contents would be safe from marauding Trumpsters. The assault on the Capitol had us concerned. Well, it appears that we've been vindicated — because today, tweeps are noticing a bunch of stuff getting carted out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, with no explanation.

Exhibit A, above, shows a US Marine giving three people the side-eye as they remove what appears to be a bust of Abraham Lincoln. WTF? Are these curators from the White House Historical Association? Why is Lincoln leaving? And why don't we know?

But that's not the only one. Peter Navarro has been spotted carrying off a large framed photo (Exhibit B, also above). Okay, so it was actually a picture of one of the meetings between Benedict Donald and his fellow murderous dictator, Kim Jong-un. But we like this one better!

You know, in a normal Administration, somebody like Navarro — Trump's US Trade Representative — would have a heckuva golden parachute at a time like this. Corporate America would be lining up to get him on their boards, with oodles of swell perks. Instead, because Everything Trump Touches Dies, he's reduced to stealing gewgaws. We cats PURR.

One More Week

Are we there yet? The nation is exhausted. Yet it seems there's a lot of hinky stuff still left to come out about the assault on the Capitol. Ugh. But at least Benedict Donald got impeached again today. And next Wednesday is President Biden Day! So rest up, everybody — we need to be in fighting form tomorrow. We cats PURR.

What The Market Will Bear, Part II

By Baxter

The nation is witnessing the slow deflation of the Republican Party, not unlike a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon that's reached the end of the parade. It's not an explosion. That happened at the Capitol last Wednesday, and people getting their just deserts takes time. But the collapse is on.

For example, two members of Congress from New York are feeling the heat. Demonstrators are showing up at Lee Zeldin's district office, demanding his arrest, and activists have filed a complaint with the inspector general of the Army Reserve, of which Zeldin is a member. Our own Trumpy representative, Elise Stefanik, has been kicked off the Harvard Kennedy School's Senior Advisory Committee. (Looks like she's "going to go through some things." Hmmm!)

In Republican leadership, Mitch McConnell and Liz Cheney both favor impeachment. The hapless Kevin McCarthy, who surely took "how to be overrated" lessons from Paul Ryan, now stands alone against it.

The sacking of the Capitol was the inciting incident to all this. But don't forget about the loss of two Georgia Senate seats, which has cast the GOP in the minority across the government. And then of course there's the money: Big corporations have cut off Republicans voting against Electoral College certification from future donations. (This needs to apply not just to candidates' campaigns, but also to Congressional leadership PACs and similar fundraising organizations — but so far, it's been enough to scare the bejesus out of the GOP.)

That the saving of American democracy in the last days of Benedict Donald's Presidency may end up resting in the hands of Big Business and Big Tech is pretty depressing. So let's cheer ourselves up with a crystal ball glance at the future of the Republican Party:

The rabid Trumpy base, which the establishment Republicans held their noses and tolerated as long as they got their judges and their tax cuts, will not be on board with abandoning their hero. So the party will split apart, each side expecting the other to give up — with Benedict Donald, Twitter-less but still potent, attacking from the sidelines. Ugly!

Or, at Lindsey Graham observed back in 2016: "If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed. And we will deserve it." We cats PURR.

What The Market Will Bear

By Sniffles

Short videos are proliferating on social media. They're purporting to show rioters from last week's assault on the US Capitol being detained at airports and kicked off airplanes (their sedition having landed them on No-Fly Lists). While you have to be careful about assuming the videos' accuracy — that they're really violent Trumpsters who are getting their just deserts — they're fun to watch.

Elsewhere, though, the walls really seem to be closing in on Trump World. Twitter dumped Benedict Donald, and now it's belatedly cleaning out QAnon and other nutcase followers of people like Ted Cruz and Sarah Huckabee Sanders, upsetting both of them greatly. (Losing followers is apparently more important than a Capitol Hill police officer losing his life.) Cumulus Media is instructing its biggest right-wing mouthpieces to 86 the "election fraud" story line, or risk being fired. And of course, there's Section 3 of the 14th Amendment.

Rumor has it that Democratic leaders in the Senate are discussing freezing out Republican enablers of terrorism and sedition — i.e., Cruz and Josh Hawley — denying them committee assignments they covet, and keeping any bills they might introduce from reaching the floor. Such banishment would hobble them from doing their jobs to the point where they might as well resign. (On the other hand, that would allow them to run for President full time... but maybe they'll cancel each other out.)

Still and all, it's an excellent notion. "That [Cruz and Hawley] think they can walk away and say, 'I just exercised my right as a Senator'... I don’t know how you can live with yourself right now knowing that people lost their lives," said Senator Joe Manchin of (D-WVA).

For elected Republicans who foment sedition, a world in which even an uber-moderate, reach-across-the-aisle dude like Manchin has such harsh words is cold and lonely indeed. We cats PURR.

14-3

By Hubie and Bertie

House Speaker Pelosi wrote her caucus a "Dear Colleague" letter today. It's mostly a head's-up about tomorrow's resolution calling on Vice President Poonce to get the 25th Amendment in gear. Mikey's got 24 hours to respond, after which the House majority will proceed with impeachment.

But there's also a little nugget buried in her penultimate paragraph: "Your views on the 25th Amendment, 14th Amendment, Section 3 and impeachment are valued as we continue."

You might think, wait — what? Who said anything about the 14th Amendment, Section 3? What is the 14th Amendment, Section 3?

Well, here it is:

"No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who — having previously taken an oath as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any state legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any state, to support the Constitution of the United States — shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability."

(Em dashes and emphasis ours.)

Section 3 of the 14th Amendment has been a topic of conversation ever since two-thirds of the House GOP caucus signed on to that bogus Texas lawsuit to overturn the 2020 election. Now, since the attack on the Capitol on Wednesday, the talk's getting louder. As long-suffering citizens with a traitorous Trumpster Congress member, we just want to say: We like this plan! We cats PURR.

End Of The Bromance

By Miss Kubelik

There were plenty of things we knew we'd never forgive Mike Pence for, even before 2016 — his support of the so-called "Religious Freedom and Restoration Act" chief among them. But mostly it was the fact that he's just a despicable, intellectually limited, right-wing dick who always punched above his weight. We were happy to see him self-implode in Indiana. And then, four years ago, Benedict Donald picked him to run as Vice President.

After his selection, Pence's newly unforgivable act was giving evangelicals cover to support Trump via his cringeworthy exhortation to "vote for this good man." What a cretinous toady. Having him a heartbeat away from the Presidency has been spine-chilling for the last four years — even though, yes, Benedict Donald should have been impeached and removed from office last February. Still — brrrr.

Well, now we could be on the brink of having President Mike Pence for a few days. If Trump were to resign, get removed by the Cabinet or be impeached, "Poonce" (as Julia Louis-Dreyfus dubbed him) could be America's Buddy MacKay. (For those of you who don't know Florida politics, MacKay became Governor for one brief, shining moment upon the death of incumbent Lawton Chiles in 1998.)

At first, implementing the 25th Amendment was deemed unlikely. Poonce, after all, has been the most obsequious of Vice Presidents, and he has ambitions for 2024. Why would he turn on Trump now, even if a Capitol Hill police officer was bludgeoned to death by the MAGA mobs on Wednesday?

But things have changed, because — as expected — new video has come to light of this week's insurrection, chief among them the Trumpy mob chanting "Hang Mike Pence." We can't imagine that Mother would be down with that. (Unless they nailed him to a cross and hung a sign on him that said, "Abortion is murder." Then she might be okay with it.)

And now, tonight, reports have surfaced that Pence actually isn't ruling out the 25th — so it seems pretty clear that after Trump incited supporters to try to hunt him down and kill him, and after Trump made no effort to contact Pence during the siege, Mikey has decided that Benedict Donald is not a very "good man" after all.

Mike Pence deserves no sympathy. He is an utterly inadequate, division-of-church-and-state-denying, misogynistic hater who as Governor of Indiana threw his state into needless economic turmoil and who should have been ridden out of politics forever for that episode alone. The fact that Benedict Donald plucked him from the ashes and put him on the ticket in 2016 is only one of thousands of actions that Trump should be made to pay for.

So it's particularly delicious that Pence is backtracking on the 25th now. He's caught between Trump and his own ambitions, in a party that will eat him alive if it doesn't splinter into two factions — à la the Whigs and the Know-Nothings — first. But maybe he just wants to be President for a week. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Perfect.

We'd love to credit this image — but in the meantime, we'll just send a big "thank you" to the employees of Twitter, who made the Trump ban possible. We cats salute them, and we PURR.

De Adder Du Jour (Post-Insurrection)

 

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder)

Is The White House Safe? The Building, We Mean.

By Zamboni

The White House is one of the nation's most important buildings. Built by slaves, burned and rebuilt, redone and redecorated over more than 200 years, it's home not just to the First Family but to valuable artwork, sculptures, antiques, and more.

In contrast with her predecessors, Jacqueline Kennedy recognized the Executive Mansion's significance and immediately set to work with the newly founded White House Historical Association to make it a "living museum" that Americans could treasure and visit with pride. "She made the White House a museum of American history and decorative art as well as a charming family residence," the Association says. 

Which is one of the many reasons we're worried — maybe now more than ever before — about Benedict Donald and his Traitor Tots having the run of the place. As Michael Cohen told The Daily Beast, "I am certain that Donald Trump is psychotic right now. Donald Trump would rather burn down the White House than turn over the keys."

Would he literally burn it? Cohen was speaking metaphorically (we hope). But after what his storm troopers did to the Capitol, it's probably not beyond the pale to be worried about 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Moose & Squirrel has already destroyed the Rose Garden, after all. And with Trump at Camp David, all those tired jokes about changing the locks suddenly seem fresh. We cats HISS.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Insurrection Edition

By Baxter

When we cats were kittens, we lived for a time in a townhouse on Capitol Hill, right down the street from (GURK!) the Republican National Committee. It dawned on us yesterday afternoon that if were were still there, DC police would have evacuated us.

Watching the MAGAts raping and pillaging the Capitol building was traumatizing. To get over it, let's focus on some good news instead:

Who would willingly read a book by Josh Hawley? It's a mystery — but thanks to Hawley's lead role in Wednesday's seditious assault, Simon & Schuster just pulled the plug on him. Now, that's cancel culture we can get behind! Guess you'll have to self-publish, Josh.

Also in the "Actions Have Consequences" category: The calls for Benedict Donald's immediate banishment are mounting. Speaker Pelosi has told Vice President "Fly On The Head" Poonce to give Trump the 25th, or the House will impeach. (Of course, it's unclear if anyone's left in the Cabinet at this point to get the 25th rolling.) Republicans have joined the chorus, too. No wonder Trump released that surreal hostage video tonight.

Congress certified Joe Biden's win this morning, and stocks went up. Way up.

Finally, and most important — whenever you think about yesterday's events and get upset and outraged and wonder how it happened all over again, just remember: The chairs of the Congressional committees that investigate it will all be Democrats. Thanks, Georgia! Laughing our Ossoff, as Kellyanne Conway would say. We cats PURR.

But THIS Would Have Been A Catastrophe, Right?

Gee, remember the nice lady who was careless with, like, three emails? In 2016, the Electoral College decided the nation would be better off with Donald Trump as President instead of her. Sorry, team, but on a day like today, that knowledge rankles. We cats HISS.

Queen.

By Sniffles

One of the first acts of the new Congress should be to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Act, to thank Black people for saving America.

And yes, they should get those $2,000 checks done, too. But right now, we're overcome with the thought that a country that was on the verge of turning into an autocracy has been rescued by folks who, for centuries, it has treated like dirt. Thanks to them, it looks like Team Biden will be able to get their Cabinet nominations confirmed without delay and go straight to work — on the pandemic, the economy, racial injustice, climate change, infrastructure, and all the other things that desperately need to get done. (And maybe we can undo a few of those right-wing judgeships, too. We'll see.)

At the same time, though, it's also enraging to see what's happening outside the Capitol building right now: MAGAts breaching the barriers and fighting with Capitol Police. House office buildings being evacuated. Yes, they're making fools of themselves — and inside, the seditious sh*tshow, because of Georgia, is leaking a lot of air from its balloon. But you just know that if that crowd of angry rioting Trumpsters were Black, they'd be riddled with tear gas and bullets.

That disturbing fact is probably not something the Biden Administration can fix in four years. But good heavens, America, we need to start somewhere. Maybe Stacey Abrams can show us the way. We cats PURR.

A Win For Warnock?

 

At least, that's what the Cook Political Report is saying. Stay tuned for more on this and on the other Georgia race (Ossoff v. Guy-in-COVID-Quarantine). We cats are hopeful, and we PURR.

Super-Sore Losers

By Hubie and Bertie

Remember how back in 2000, Republicans taunted Democrats over the 537-vote margin in Florida? That we dared to question the non-counting of legally cast votes back then, and had the gall to point out that the Governor of Florida at the time was the brother of the GOP Presidential candidate was — well, the babiest cry babies we could possibly be.

Fast-forward 20 years, and where are we? Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and the GOP Sedition Caucus in both Houses of Congress are super-duper Sore/Losermen. Joe Biden got 7 million more votes (and won the Electoral College 306 to 232). Last we checked, 7 million > 537, and 306 > 232.

But the cry babies aren't just on Capitol Hill. In Prince William County, Virginia, which we cats used to call home, a sheriff's deputy has just been fired for some unnerving posts he made to Parler (the new social media platform to which the mad-as-hell Trumpsters have fled, the better to whine to one another). Here's one:

"Take back your state capitals. Find the homes of every governor, mayor, attorney general, liberal judge, senator, congressman and every major media/social media CEO. Find them. Remove them from their sanctuary. Bring the nightmare to where they lay their heads and kiss their loved ones. Show them that they are NOT untouchable."

WHOA. Here's hoping this guy not only got fired but also arrested. (If not, and if the cops are looking for him, they could check the nearest Proud Boys rally in DC on Wednesday.)

There was no social media 20 years ago, so we don't know if the Bush-supporting "Sore/Loserman" protesters would get this violent. But they sure seem quaint now. We cats HISS.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Brand-New Impeachable Offenses Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Can we bear to listen to the entire hour of Benedict Donald committing multiple crimes on Saturday's phone call with Brad Raffensberger? Probably not. We've read enough about it to know that hearing it with no filter would make us hack up a hairball. But that doesn't stop us from sharing a few observations.

Who would have thought that Paul Ryan, of all people, would demonstrate more — gasp! — judgment and good character than most of his fellow Republicans today? (Or is he just worried that the Wisconsin GOP is going to implode and that Ron Johnson will be toast in 2022? Note to Ryan: You helped create this monster, jackass.)

Did the Raffensberger staffer who leaked the tape right before the Georgia Senate runoff do it to get back at David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler for cravenly dissing him to please Trump?

Back during impeachment, the Republicans argued against conviction because, they said, "the people should decide." Well, the people did — and now Trump and his lackeys are trying to overturn that decision. Whatever happened to that lofty ideal, do you think? Does it only apply when Republicans win?

Finally, wow! — looks like it was Raffensberger, not Benedict Donald, who ended the call. "Thank you, President Trump, for your time." That's brutal. Take it from us: Nobody who gets a phone call from the President of the United States is the first to hang up. At least, not until now. We cats PURR.

Sedition, 2021

By Zamboni

When the crazy Capitol Hill Republicans started making noises about contesting the 2020 election certification on January 6, the first thought that occurred to us cats was, "Oh! The GOP wants to abolish the Electoral College!"

You can't blame us. After all, the Republicans have lost the popular vote in the last zillion elections, haven't they? Killing the EC sounds great.

But then sanity prevailed. Of course the Republicans aren't supporting democracy — because then they would lose, every time. It's discouraging to those of us who believe in the process, but there you have it.

We cats agree that the House members and Senators who are planning to sow chaos this week are engaged in pointless theatrics. In the words of Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson: "Friends, please do not mistake a political strategy — aimed at capturing headlines, pandering to extremists, and engendering confusion and chaos — with anything that will actually succeed in overturning the unequivocal will of the American people."

Still, it's dispiriting. First, because one realizes that the GOP — at least before it destroys itself — will never change. They will be assholes of the first order, no matter what Democrat occupies the White House. Second, because when you think about the record number of Americans who risked their lives to stand in line and vote Trump out of office — who are now hospitalized and dying in droves — the fact that the Republicans are responding to their sacrifice by tearing up the Constitution and burning down the country is, well, just depressing in the extreme. We cats HISS.

Birx Blabs

By Baxter

The retrospectives on Benedict Donald have begun. Never mind that a significant slice of the MAGA universe, not to mention Trump himself, are deluding themselves into thinking that the President inaugurated on January 20 will not be Joe Biden. (We just have one question for them: Who is chairing the Trump inaugural committee?)

That's okay. We understand the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross five stages of grief. The Trumpsters are deep into "denial," but are also wallowing in "anger," and perhaps the January 6 contretemps are their version of "bargaining." The world has yet to see them grapple with "depression" and "acceptance." We'll wait.

Meanwhile, yes, the mainstream media are moving foward with look-backs and assessments of the worst Presidency in the history of the universe. Over at The New York Times, Maggie Haberman, who inexplicably is willing to subject herself to Trumpworld beyond the Presidency by writing a book, has published a long piece with four other reporters about Benedict Donald's massive fuck-up on the coronavirus. We assume this was the Times's answer to The Atlantic magazine's piece about where America went wrong. But as Haberman, et. al., reported:

• Trump thought all the scientists advising him on the pandemic were Democrats.
• After Scott Atlas, a radiologist with no infectious disease experience, joined the task force in August, he was the only doctor Trump would listen to. Dr. Deborah Birx head-butted him over the question of reopening schools.
  
• Even though his own pollsters said the MAGA crowd would accept masks, Trump refused to promote them. "I'm not doing a mask mandate," he said.
  
• Trump blamed Jared for everything.
• Task force "head" Mike Pence faded into the wallpaper because he was afraid of crossing Trump.

It is all too disgusting. But if you read between the lines, it's pretty clear that a main source for the story was Deborah Birx.

We cats are not fans of Dr. Birx. Her enabling of Benedict Donald during the worst early days of the pandemic disgusted us. We got sick of her refusal to push back on his egregious suggestions, and we got sick of her scarves. When we Googled her, we were surprised to find her resume thinner than we expected. So we're perfectly happy to have Team Biden send her off riding into the sunset. (And yes, we also have reservations about Anthony Fauci — but his long career, from AIDS to now, lends him more credibility. And if Larry Kramer and he could become BFFs, who are we to argue with Larry?)

Nevertheless, if Birx is talking to the press about Trump's biggest, hugest, most astoundingly-large-ever failure, we're good with that. She's clearly at the "anger" phase of the stages of grief, and we all have a lot to learn. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Erin Schaff, The New York Times)