March Pains

By Hubie and Bertie

The Q crazies keep moving the goalposts. When the January 6 insurrection didn't stop Congressional certification of the Electoral College, they fixated on January 20, which they thought would bring arrests of Joe Biden and the Democrats and the second glorious swearing-in of Benedict Donald.

Instead, Trump took off in Marine One for one last ride to Joint Base Andrews, gave a desultory (as always) speech, and left for Florida. Pretty deflating for his devoted fans. But then, as we all know, Trump doesn't care about anyone except himself.

Now, they're convinced that something weird and wonderful is going to happen on March 4, which until 1937 used to be Inauguration Day. They believe it will bring the second coming of Trump.

It's all very strange. Something about the United States really being a corporation, and the gold standard, and how all Presidents since Ulysses S. Grant are illegitimate (but wouldn't that make Trump illegitimate, too?). It is nuttiness in the extreme.

What bothers us is that today, the US Marshals Service, a DOJ agency, posted a cryptic tweet: "On February 23, 1861, President-elect Abraham Lincoln quietly slipped into Washington, DC to prepare for his inauguration on March 4. Accompanying him was US Marshal Ward Hill Lamon (D/DC), a friend and former law partner." It seems odd to normal people — but the Q kooks are over the moon.

Thankfully, Merrick Garland should be Attorney General by then, so we leave this in his capable hands. The Trump hotel in Washington, however — never one to miss an opportunity to gouge — has jacked up its prices for next week. We cats HISS.