No Respect

By Hubie and Bertie

Yes, there was a hit job on Vice President Kamala Harris in The Washington Post yesterday. Take it from us, any story with "some Democrats" in the headline is an instant signal that selected lamebrains in the lefty pundit class have been pitching a negative story for weeks, and the Post finally bit — for clicks and retweets, we can only assume. Such is the state of journalism in 2023 (not good).

Which means that when it came to the Harris "story," we took to heart Charles III's sage advice to son Harry about negative articles in the British tabloids: "Don't read them, darling boy." Still, how the media treat Harris overall burns us.

They lament that she "hasn't done anything" as Vice President — but have they covered her trips, her speeches, her foreign policy chops, her work on Biden's domestic agenda, at all? Nope. And then they complain that she — well, you get the idea. It's a vicious, self-fulfilling circle. And they get to feel superior. But it rightly infuriates the Black women who worked their hearts and guts out for Biden-Harris in 2020.

Now, it's been announced that the Veep will attend Tyre Nichols's funeral tomorrow, at the invitation of Nichols's family. Here's a question for you: Which Vice President prior to Kamala Harris would have been invited? Mike Pence? Dick Cheney? Dan Quayle? (Those guys? Absolutely not. But Joe Biden? Yep.) We cats HISS.

America Should Invade Canada?

 

Making excellent jokes about them is the only way to respond to the idiots at Fox "News." We cats PURR.

As Plain As The Nose On His Face

By Miss Kubelik

Where has this New York Times guest op-ed writer been for the last two years? This drives us bananas.

James Sasso, senior investigative counsel for the January 6 Committee and one of the drafters of its final report, took an entire column in the NYT — not cheap journalistic real estate — to lament MAGAts' distrust of government (something we've already known from endless conversations with white guys in diners), and what the US should do to restore trust. Never mind that African-Americans have been treated miserably for 400 years and yet still turn out — despite suppression, gerrymandering and intimidation — to declare and reinforce their faith in American democracy at the ballot box.

So, okay — let's be blunt: Sasso is talking about white people here. But let's also get to the nut of his argument. In addition to campaign finance reform, which is obviously huge (hello, Roberts Supreme Court), he, astoundingly, says this:

"Our leaders need to build trust broadly by tackling economic inequality and reinvesting in communities devastated by globalization and technological changes. At the most basic level, politicians should refocus locally on building roads, lowering crime and revitalizing small business districts..."

Can it be true? This dude has never heard of the Biden-Harris Bipartisan Infrastructure Law? Instead of wringing his hands, Sasso should go from diner to diner, explain the law to the clueless MAGAts over their coffee and pancakes, and tell them to dial back their outrage. Problem is, we think Sasso may be clueless himself. We cats HISS.

Franciszek Michalik, Catholic Priest, Died In Auschwitz 1941

By Zamboni

We cats follow the Auschwitz Memorial Museum on Twitter, for many reasons. But most important, because we all must remember.

Every time the museum posts a tweet about a Holocaust victim — when and where he or she was born, when he or she went to the camps, and whether or not he or she died or survived the war — we take a few minutes in our busy day and focus on that person. We think about what his or her experience must have been like.

Too often, the final report is that the person "was murdered in the gas chamber after the selection." But not always. Some survive.

We do this because it's the right thing — but also because anti-Semitism seems to be on the rise again. As Americans, we know that it's because Benedict Donald gave us permission to be our own worst selves. This has to stop. We cats HISS.

Blue Lives, White Lives, Black Lives

By Baxter

Today, the nation is rightly being consumed with the issue of police brutality. There's also a little ray of sunshine when it comes to MAGA brutality against police.

One of the Trumpy insurrectionists who attacked the Capitol on January 6 has just been sentenced to nearly seven years in prison. It's not just any rioter — it's the guy who assaulted Capitol police officer Brian Sicknick, who died the next day. Good — haul him off to the hoosegow.

There's a lot of injustice and inequality when it comes to law enforcement in this country. Most of it is on one side. We cats have seen bits and pieces of the Tyre Nichols video that the City of Memphis released tonight, and it's sickening. We can't watch all of it. It gives us the same feelings when we see the MAGAts storming the Capitol — outrage, disgust, violation, revulsion. Many Democratic voices, from President Biden down, have spoken out in protest.

But there's been nothing but crickets from Republicans, about either Memphis or January 6. They have precious little to say about how much "blue lives matter" when it comes to the insurrectionists. They've also been silent on the five Memphis officers who killed Tyre Nichols. Is it because the officers are Black? We cats HISS.

(UPDATE: We're not in the habit of quoting former Republicans, but ex-Congressman Joe Walsh has pretty much summed up the Tyre Nichols video: "No one tried to help him. No one. He was dying. He was literally dying. And no one tried to help him. No one." We cats HISS.)

Ronna v. Rhonda

By Sniffles

Well, team, it looks like Chairperson Ronna (Don't You Dare Say "Romney") McDaniel has fended off a revolt within the Republican National Committee, and squeaked her way to victory today at the RNC meeting at a luxury resort in Dana Point, California.

Okay, it wasn't necessarily a "squeak" — but Ronna lost about 35 percent of her committee members to Harmeet Dhillon, an outlier Trumpster who was interestingly endorsed by Ron "Rhonda" DeSantis just a few days ago. "I think we need to get some new blood in the RNC," Rhonda said. "I think we need a change." Whoops. 

(And if you're wondering, the pillow guy only got four votes. Ouch.)

Still and all, despite dragging herself over the finish line with 111 votes, Ronna's victory is not a resounding endorsement. Cracks, fissures, crevices characterize the current state of the Republican elite. And the base is restive. It all means that you're left with a fractured party, a weakened chair, and — although the media will ignore this — Republicans, not Democrats, in disarray.

The most compelling aspect of this whole circus is that the Florida Fascist waded into this fight and appears to have been trounced — despite his party's lackluster performance in the 2022 midterms. And while one would have to view this as a win for Benedict Donald, it also shows that he doesn't have the control over the party he once had.

In short, all good for us! We cats PURR.

Trying To Erase American History (And Americans)

 

Republicans like Ron DeSantis will never get over The 1619 Project, will they? Since its publication, the death of George Floyd, and the advent of the Black Lives Matter movement, the GOP and right wingers have gone off-the-charts paranoid and nuts. We cats remember a Q&A at The Carter Center with the 39th President, who was asked, what's America's biggest problem? Jimmy Carter instantly said, "Racism." He was right.

(IMAGE: Mike Luckovich, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Song For A Fool's Spring Night

They say there are 11 seasons in Canada: Winter, fool's spring, second winter, spring of deception, third winter, mud season, actual spring, summer, false fall, second summer (one week) and actual fall.

Here's Gordon Lightfoot 23 years ago, singing about what is about to be outside our windows (we think). It's snowing in Toronto right now but hasn't quite gotten to Montreal yet. We cats PURR.

Snowed Under

By Hubie and Bertie

Yes, we know — we cats were complaining about a lack of snow a couple of weeks ago, and now the situation has been somewhat rectified. A storm hit this past Sunday-Monday, and now here comes another one tomorrow night. Red screens on the weather channel mean business! We could get six to 10 inches in Montreal.

Similarly, a blizzard of convictions appears to be descending on the January 6 insurrectionists.

The four Oath Keepers found guilty of seditious conspiracy have been joined by Richard Barnett, the Arkansas fool who helped trash Nancy Pelosi's office and was famously photographed with his foot propped up on her desk. This verdict is particularly satisfying. We cats have been known to put our feet on things where they don't belong, so that's not the biggest reason we found Barnett repulsive. But he deserves to be hauled off to the hoosegow because:

• He entered the Capitol with a stun gun in his belt. This was not a guy who was there for innocent reasons, however much he might protest that he was just looking for a bathroom.
• He left a vulgar note calling the greatest Speaker of the House in our lifetimes a "bitch."
  
• He said he couldn't get a fair trial in the District of Columbia because... well, he might as well have said outright that it was because so many people there are Black.

His whining is just more MAGA victimhood, and we're sick of it. When you tally up all his offenses — disorderly conduct, obstructing an official proceeding, entering a restricted building with a dangerous weapon, theft of government property — he could get up to 47 years in jail. Oh, heck, let's round it up to 50, shall we? We cats HISS.

Everyone's Miserable

Every time Randy Rainbow releases a video, we say, "OMG, it's his best yet!" So how does he keep doing this? We're particularly impressed with his internal rhyming of "Nancy" and "Can't see" — plus the "15 times" clip of Trump. Well done, RR. We cats PURR.

Media = Mess

By Miss Kubelik

Once again, journalism is failing us. Here are just a few of the latest examples, from least-worst to outright terrible.

The Atlantic has an extensive overview of the possible indictments looming over Benedict Donald. It's not bad, but this line in the section on Mar-a-Lago documents case puzzles us: "Charges, or even a conviction, against Trump would be somewhat ironic... getting busted for stolen documents would be a little bit like Al Capone’s conviction for tax evasion." Really? What if he shared the documents' contents with adversaries of the United States?

Four more members of the Oath Keepers were convicted of seditious conspiracy today for their actions on January 6, 2021. Joseph Hackett, Roberto Minuta, David Moerschel and Edward Vallejo will be hauled off to the hoosegow for their perfidy. Gosh! Remember how the talking heads kept telling us that seditious conspiracy would be tough to convict on because the law was ancient and rarely enforced?

TIME magazine has suddenly decided that Vice President Kamala Harris is the Democrats' secret weapon. Her speech yesterday on Roe v. Wade's 50th anniversary and the GOP threats to women's bodily autonomy apparently was the catalyst for their change of heart — after they shoveled endless crap about how our Veep was a big fail, a huge disappointment, with nothing to show for her two years in office.

From the foreign policy to the border to voting rights, Vice President Harris has been consistently spot-on and effective. The press, on the other hand, is simple-minded, distracted by shiny objects, slavish to the "narrative," and easily dismissive and bored. We cats HISS.

Lest We Furr-get: You'll Be Swell / You'll Be Great

By Zamboni

Historian Michael Beschloss is one of our favorite follows on Twitter. He usually ties his posts to either historical anniversaries or popular entertainment — "Sunset Boulevard," for example, is one of his favorites. (It's apparently also one of Benedict Donald's.) After all, as we all know, it's the pictures that got small.

And speaking of pictures, here is a photo that Beschloss tweeted on the occasion of the second Biden-Harris inaugural anniversary on January 20. This is a rehearsal of the star-studded pre-inaugural gala that was held on January 19, 1961 to celebrate John F. Kennedy's swearing-in. Produced by Frank Sinatra and JFK's brother-in-law, Peter Lawford, the show featured legendary entertainers like Nat King Cole, Gene Kelly and Ella Fitzgerald. Those were the days, kids.

(This was also before Sinatra became a Republican and BFFs with Ronny and Nancy, don'tcha know. Rumor has it that Blue Eyes was furious that JFK holidayed with Bing Crosby after getting cold feet over Sinatra's alleged mob connections. You could look it up.)

Anyway, Beschloss unintentionally gave us a good laugh with his Twitter thread on the gala. How many celebrities can you identify? he asked. We cats thought we'd have this down as a slam dunk. There's Nat King Cole at the mic, Joey Bishop second from left, and Harry Belafonte looking gorgeous in the middle. (And Kelly, Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis on the right.) But who is that next to Belafonte, in the sunglasses?

The Twitterverse agreed — it was Bob Dylan. But nope, guess again. It's ETHEL MERMAN!

Who's going to tell our Nobel Prize winner for literature that people confused him with Ethel? We'll pass, thanks. But we cats PURR.

X Marks The Spot

By Baxter

New York Governor Kathy Hochul recently announced that come June — Pride Month — New Yorkers will be able to designate their genders on driver licenses, learner permits and other DMV IDs as "X."

"Every person, regardless of gender identity or expression, deserves to have an identity document that reflects who they are," she said. "My administration remains committed to ensuring that New York is a place of value, love and belonging for members of the LGBTQ+ community."

So, yay! New York is one of those blue states standing up for LGBTQ+ folks and providing them a safe haven from the red states that are ramming anti-trans and other anti-inclusive bills through their legislatures. However, it does make us wonder: How long will it take right-wing Republican Governors to refuse "X"-gendered New Yorkers from attending their state schools?

It's easy to imagine Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Kay Ivey, Greg Abbott and Ron DeSantis doing just that. Although people obviously choose their colleges for a variety of reasons — such as their majors and sports programs — we hope that young people will shun states that have made it clear they're not welcome. 

We'll keep an eye, but sadly, the staffs of those hatemongers in the Republican Party are probably writing the speeches and the legislation right now. We cats HISS.

Drag Them Into It

 

By Sniffles

Everybody's laughing at George Santos, Drag Queen, right? Just look at these photos, side by side: the same nose, the same chin, the same eyebrows. It's him, no matter how strenuously he may deny it.

But let's not just laugh — let's put this situation to good use.

Considering all the horrific anti-drag, anti-trans, and other legislation coming from Republicans these days in Washington and across the country, Democrats need to demand that Congressional GOP leaders actively support Santos's drag life.

Since they're excusing all the other suspect parts of George's biography, they need to strenuously affirm that his drag days in no way disqualify him from serving in Congress. (If he's proven to not be an American citizen, of course, that's another matter.) The Democratic leadership should insist not just that the GOP silence end — Republicans must offer full-throated support for Santos in sequins.

And after the Democrats demand it, journalists must pick up the baton — and not let Kevin McCarthy, Steve Scalise, Elise "Elsie" Stefanik, or any other member of the GOP caucus walk the halls of Capitol Hill without being asked about it.

See how it can work? Easy-peasy. We cats PURR.

Sore Loserman, Squared

By Hubie and Bertie

Remember the quaint old days when Republicans accepted electoral defeat, and even called their Democratic opponents to concede? Or when outgoing Republican Presidents left heartfelt transition notes for incoming Democratic Presidents to find in the Resolute Desk?

Those days are no more. In fact, thanks to Benedict Donald, defeated Republican candidates are hiring felons to fire guns at victorious Democrats' homes.

That's the situation in New Mexico, where Solomon Peña, a GOP state house candidate who lost to a Democrat in a landslide in November, has been arrested, along with his hapless recruits who did the actual shooting. Democratic State Rep Miguel Garcia, Peña's opponent, "only" won the race with 73 percent of the vote. Perhaps the lopsided outcome had something to do with the fact that Peña had a criminal record and had been in jail for almost seven years.

Local law enforcement officials have made it clear that Peña was influenced by Donald Trump's claim of election fraud and conspiracy. But Benedict Donald's spokesman is highly offended, and other Republicans have, true to form, mostly been silent.

Surely they won't be able to maintain that silence, if journalists do their jobs. But what's really scary to think about is that someone is going to have to be killed before GOP leading lights are forced to comment. 

The shootings in New Mexico are especially disturbing because Peña was annoyed that his henchmen weren't firing low enough to hit anybody, and they fired the shots at times of the night when the homes' occupants wouldn't be up and moving around. At some point, some MAGA fool is going to target a winning Democrat successfully — at home, at work, or, like murdered abortion provider George Tiller, at church. This terrifies us cats, and we HISS.

Outed

By Miss Kubelik

What's more hilarious — that the hypocrite Matt Schlapp has finally been publicly sued by someone he homosexually assaulted, or that the someone turned out to be from the Herschel Walker campaign? Such a fine coda to the Republicans' Georgia nightmare. We cats are loving every minute.

The Schlapps' attorney has averred that his clients are "suffering unbearable pain and stress" from the victim's lawsuit. Yes, it must be terrible to wait for all those other shoes out there to drop. Is there a Gloria Allred-type lawyer who specializes in suing famous gay-hating homosexuals who fondle men and expect them to keep quiet about it? Because that person could get a ton of business just from the folks who haven't yet, um, schlapped back. We're sure of it.

Matt Schlapp has always seemed incredibly gay, so it's surprising that this hasn't happened earlier. But we didn't like to think about it much. One, the subject of Matt Schlapp is nauseating, and two, gays who hide their sexuality and demonize those who don't are depressing. We couldn't care less about their "unbearable pain and stress" — we worry about the pain and stress they cause others, prey included.

So what the accuser from the Walker campaign must be going through is a shame. But we cheer his attempt to hold his assailant to account. Let's hope Matt gets more than a schlapp on the wrist. We cats PURR.

Bernice King Shuts Them All Up

 

"Don't act like everyone loved my father. He was assassinated. A 1967 poll reflected that he was one of the most hated men in America. Most hated. Many who quote him now and evoke him to deter justice today would likely hate, and may already hate, the authentic King."

Killing Them Softly

By Zamboni

From the Department of Obvious News comes the flash that no personal records are kept of visitors to Presidential private homes, whether you're talking about Palm Beach, Hyde Park, Chappaqua, Crawford, Texas — or, currently, Delaware. They just aren't.

Another item from the same department: More Republicans are dying from COVID than Democrats.

That's been speculated before, and now there's actually some preliminary proof. The National Bureau of Economic Research has published a working paper demonstrating that in Florida and Ohio, members of the GOP were dying of the coronavirus at significantly higher rates than folks on our side of the aisle. This only became clear after the advent of the COVID vaccine — a minor scientific miracle that began under (yep) the Trump Administration, but which MAGAts and other morons have insisted on demonizing, for reasons unknown.

Once people started getting vaccinated (or not), definite gaps began to emerge in excess COVID death rates. Researchers compared voter registration data to COVID mortality and — voila — found that lots of Republicans were checking out unnecessarily. "The results suggest that the well-documented differences in vaccination attitudes and reported uptake between Republicans and Democrats have already had serious consequences for the severity and trajectory of the pandemic," they write. And, kicker: "The higher excess death rate among Republicans is likely to continue."

It's not much of a stretch to imagine that MAGAts' resistance to vaccines may already have had an impact on close races in the 2022 midterms, and could also affect results in 2024. But go ahead, Trumpsters and Republicans — cherish your "freedom," whatever that is, while you're alive to enjoy it. We cats HISS.

"Redeem The Soul Of America"

Tomorrow the nation observes Martin Luther King Day. Today, President Joe Biden appeared at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta to speak about and honor Dr. King. So good to have a President who makes speeches like this again. It was not Benedict Donald's thing, and we don't miss him. We cats PURR.

Oval Office Art

Franklin Delano Roosevelt over the mantel, surrounded by Lincoln, Washington, Hamilton and Jefferson. RFK and Cesar Chavez busts on the tables. And, okay — Commander on the rug. The art is so great, we'll allow the dog. We cats PURR.

Heir To The King

By Baxter

Brandon Presley, the Democratic public service commissioner for Mississippi’s northern district, revealed he is running for Governor in an announcement video, emphasizing a populist message focused on corruption and rural infrastructure.

If Democrats choose him as their party’s nominee in the August 2023 primaries, the 45-year-old candidate from Nettleton, Mississippi, would likely face incumbent Republican Governor Tate Reeves, who is running for re-election this year.

As long as we're talking about Presleys, let's not overlook this relative of Elvis, please. We cats PURR.

No Snow, No Fun

This is very depressing. It's January — we should have snow. But all we have is rain. Climate change deniers, please don't try to argue with us, because you're full of shit. We cats HISS.

Maturity Over Mar-a-Lago

By Sniffles

We cats heartily endorse DOJ's appointment of a Special Counsel to review the Biden classified documents situation. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. And in the "other" documents case, down at Mar-a-Lago, the goose is, we think, cooked.

Because Joe Biden and Donald Trump and the people who, respectively, work around them are as different as night and day/heads and tails/cats and dogs. Team Biden immediately turned the docs over and has cooperated fully. Team Trump has — well, you know, not.

So let the MAGA maniacs try to make a big deal out of this. We actually believe that it will redound to Biden's benefit, or at least, serve to highlight for those who may not have grasped it before the true awfulness of what Trump has done. (And we have yet to learn what, exactly, Trump was up to. The possibilities send chills down our spines. Maybe we'll find out if/when Jack Smith brings charges.)

Are we being too optimistic? It's possible. But Trump just went on another unhinged rant against Smith — even more rant-y than before. You'd think he would have tried to take a victory lap over the Biden-docs story, but he didn't. What's going on? Trump sounds like a defendant who's been told he's in a world of trouble. We'll see. We cats PURR.

UPDATE: A very smart tweep we follow has said it better: "President Biden should welcome the appointment of a Special Counsel. He can seriously put the screws to Trump by publicly cooperating on every level, including personally interviewing with the DOJ. Uncle Joe should treat this as a gift and act accordingly." We cats PURR again.

Sad Over Santos

By Hubie & Bertie

Update on the George Santos Lie Fest: Today, Nassau County Republicans held a news conference and demanded that Santos resign from Congress immediately. They were joined by another newly elected Long Island Republican, Anthony D'Esposito, and (eyebrows raised here) the state party chair.

The Nassau GOP chair said that Santos "has disgraced the House of Representatives," which is a pretty impressive feat these days.

What's actually happening, more likely than not, is that local and state Republicans are getting an earful from their donors. In a party with no principles whatsoever, the only thing that could matter here is money.

Meanwhile, Congressional Republicans are silently slow-walking the Santos situation because they're loath to lose his vote in an already closely divided House: NY-03 could easily flip back to a Democrat if Santos throws in the towel and Governor Kathy Hochul calls a special election. But whoever represents the district, voters there deserve to have somebody in office providing them constituent services, if nothing else. (Republicans aren't famous for caring about such things. Ask the voters in NC-11.)

Now that Republicans are lining up to demand Santos resign, journalists must keep the pressure on. Kevin McCarthy, Steve Scalise, Tom Emmer and Elise "Elsie" Stefanik should not be able to walk the halls of Congress without having microphones shoved in their faces and questions hurled.

While the media's at it, though, would they perhaps be more willing to lay the Santos debacle at the GOP's feet? Nassau Republicans supported Santos both in 2020 and 2022. The party chair admitted today that their vetting sucked. "[Santos] was not someone that we knew," he said. "We trusted him and shame on us for doing that." We cats HISS.

Spare Us

By Miss Kubelik

Well, it was probably unavoidable: We cats will have to weigh in on the British Royal Family and, um, that book. We've been watching the Windsors for a lot of years now. Haven't we been here before?

But to our surprise, we do have a few things we'd like to say.

• It's so amazing how much trouble James Hewitt's son is trying to stir up!

• Harry apparently doesn't realize that the only thing that made him special was his membership in The Firm. Now that he's given it up and moved to California, he's done.
  

• The Windsors' unspoken arrangement is: Do your royal duties, or you don't get paid. Which is why the Sussexes are now frantically trying to figure out how to monetize an association they've voluntarily relinquished.

• We don't doubt that racism and misogyny are rampant in Courtier World. But if Harry's trying to get that across to people, he's going about it the wrong way. A new YouGov poll finds only 26 percent of Britons have a positive opinion of him now.

Ultimately, this is something we need to leave to the UK to sort out. Americans have too many other problems here at home — like climate change and defending democracy — to worry about whingeing rich people. We cats HISS.

Brazil Nuts

By Zamboni

It appears that, unlike the January 6 insurrectionists, the supporters of fascist loser Jair Bolsonaro who stormed and vandalized government buildings in Brasilia today were immediately hauled off to the hoosegow. Numerous world leaders have issued statements condemning the riots and expressing support for incumbent President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva — except for prominent Republicans in the US, who as far as we can tell have so far remained silent.

As long as folks are getting arrested, we cats vote for Steve Bannon and Jason Miller to be perp-walked, too — and we agree with Congressman Joaquin Castro, who has called for Bolsonaro's extradition from Florida. "Jair Bolsonaro is in Florida, hanging out with Donald Trump," Castro said. "The United States should not be a refuge for this authoritarian who has inspired domestic terrorism in Brazil."

Reporters should not let the likes of Kevin McCarthy, Mitch McConnell, Ron DeSantis and, of course, Benedict Donald skate by without being forced to comment on this. Ball's in your court, journalists. You've let us down many times before — please don't do it this time. We cats HISS.

Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi

 

Greatest Speaker of the House, ever. We cats PURR.

Mayhem, Mischievousness, Malfeasance And Magnificence

 

From top: Anti-Gaetz violence nearly breaks out in the GOP caucus. Katie Porter matches her wardrobe to her reading. (Photo by Getty Images.) "George Santos" flashes the white power sign during a Speaker vote. The heroes of January 6 are honored at the White House. Which party would you rather belong to? We cats know, and we PURR.

Hakeem Hijacks Kev's Big Moment

By Baxter

What was our favorite part about last night? Was it Kevin McCarthy having to walk up to Matt Gaetz and beg him for his vote? (Matt ended up voting "present," lol.) The Republican fist fight that nearly broke out afterward? Katie Porter reading a pointedly titled book? The puckish tweets of Congressman Jamie Raskin? The fact that McCarthy saluted Benedict Donald? (Thanks for the reminder, Kev — way to get those suburban mom votes in 2024!)

Nope, all those things were delicious, but best of all was the valedictory speech by House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. He completely upstaged a chagrined McCarthy, who was forced to stand at the side and listen. One more humiliation for the soulless, empty man from California. Go, Hakeem, go! Speaker-in-waiting — and it won't take 15 ballots to do it. We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: Here's the "alphabet portion" of the Jeffries speech. The GOP is so not ready for this guy. We cats PURR again.)

Off And, Um, Running

On this second anniversary of the January 6 attack on the Capitol, we can think of no more appropriate video to share than this campaign kickoff by Lucas Kunce, who has thrown his hat in the ring against the despicable Missouri Senator and traitor insurrectionist Josh Hawley. Unsparing, on point, gutsy — and perfect. We cats PURR.

Eugene McCarthy Would Like His Good Name Back

By Sniffles

What is it with Republicans named McCarthy?

Senator Joe McCarthy of Wisconsin staged a years-long witch hunt against nonexistent Communists in the federal government, ruined multiple lives in the process, ended up being censured by the Senate, and died a drunk in 1957. Today he is universally reviled as everything that can go wrong with America. (Runner-up: Charles Lindbergh.)

Congressman Kevin McCarthy of California is currently defenestrating himself before our eyes. As we write this, he's losing his 11th vote for Speaker of the House. (And before the night is over, by our count Hakeem Jeffries will have received 2,332 votes for Speaker — more than anyone in a century. LOL!)

We don't understand why Kevin is doing this. Certain experts have speculated that he's suffering from emotional neuropathy. Why else would he sit there and endure rejection after rejection, smiling and applauding whenever somebody nominates him? It is too weird.

On the Democratic side in the 1960s, the name McCarthy is associated with qualities that are quite different — thanks to Minnesota Senator Eugene McCarthy's principled opposition to the Vietnam War. 

We remember McCarthy most for his campaign for President in 1968. His success against LBJ in the primaries drew Bobby Kennedy into the race, but after RFK was killed, McCarthy could not stave off the Hubert Humphrey steamroller. (We well remember when "Chicago's finest" broke into his campaign headquarters and beat up his volunteers — not because they were rioting at the Democratic convention, but because they were there.)

McCarthy stumbled politically after the '60s, but nobody's perfect. He didn't try to subvert democracy, and he wasn't an anti-Semite. So we're tempted to forgive him — he became a poet, after all. (And he was admirably self-deprecating: "If any of you are secret poets," he once said, "the best way to break into print is to run for the Presidency.")

Long story short, even a flawed Eugene McCarthy is head and shoulders above Joe and Kevin. The Republicans could take a lesson from "Clean Gene." We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Fixed It For You

 

Will the ninth time be the charm? McCarthy, Emmer, Stefanik, Scalise, the Freedumbers and all House Republicans are fools. We cats HISS.

Prove You're Not A Robot

 

With tonight's House adjournment until noon tomorrow, this amusing graphic is true for at least another day. But even if Six-Vote-Empty-Suit Kev pulls it out, what will he have won? No job worth having.

More important, and not great, is that the House is half of Congress. And it will be rudderless and out of control under weak leadership, whether it's McCarthy or someone else. It'll be a never-ending Republican Fyre Festival, and incredibly bad for all of us. We cats HISS.

Capitol Chaos (January 3rd Style)

By Hubie and Bertie

Great news, everyone! John Fetterman was sworn in today as the new Senator from Pennsylvania, and Patty Murray was elected President Pro Tempore — the first woman to hold the job. She's next in line for the Presidency after Vice President Harris and the Speaker of the House... whoever the hell that's going to be.

Yep, it's been a total clown show on the House side today, as everyone expected. That's because Kevin McCarthy never learned The Pelosi Rule: Don't go to the floor unless you have the votes.

We've done Ballot #2, and once again, Hakeem Jeffries has received more support that Kev. Chalk that up to the fact that Democrats are unified and purpose-driven. The Republicans, on the other hand, are demagogues in disarray. Things are getting more, not less, vitriolic. (Note to selves: If, by some quirk of fate, Hakeem becomes Speaker, we will watch C-SPAN absolutely every day. Can't imagine anything more riveting, because Hak takes no prisoners.)

The other great thing about this afternoon? Amid all the commotion, George Santos is sitting by himself, looking depressed. Nobody's talking to him. This, on top of the fact that he tried to go to his Congressional office this morning, saw the press gaggle waiting for him, and promptly turned on his heel and ran. Snowflake! Let's hope he resigns because he's miserable. We cats PURR.

Donald And The Girls

By Miss Kubelik

With the new Congress convening tomorrow, the January 6 Committee spent the last few days of the year engaging in an enormous document dump — not just its final report and executive summary, but pages and pages of testimony from various folks who didn't make it into the committee hearings themselves.

It makes you think that if the House had stayed Democratic, the committee could have held several more hearings, starring the likes of Kellyanne Conway, Hope Hicks and Ginni Thomas. Conway and Hicks might have been willing to testify live, but Thomas probably not. Her testimony is still mind-blowingly nutty. The woman is a perfidious loose cannon, and if John Roberts doesn't get control of her and her "best friend," his Court will never repair its already-in-the-toilet reputation.

Like others, Conway's testimony transcript contains sudden white space, which appears for no apparent reason — no potty breaks or decision to go off the record. The only possible explanation: It's testimony that relates directly to the DOJ investigation, which is not public yet. We think various Trumpsters should fear the white space.

As for Hicks, Benedict Donald must be through with her, because she testified willingly and was unflattering to him. That doesn't make her any kind of a heroine. Remember that as the Capitol was under attack, the only thing she worried about was that no one would hire her after the Administration. Top-level aides take oaths to protect and defend the Constitution. Seems like Hicks forgot about hers.

Trump must have liked her because she was attractive, though. Which brings us, in closing, to our theory about Elise Stefanik. The New York Times's enormous expose of the ultra-MAGA Elsie, published right before Congressional Republicans duke it out over leadership roles, has a devastating final paragraph: "News stories about [2024] still mention Stefanik as a rising star who might join a Trump ticket...but within the president's inner circle, stories casting her as a potential running mate are regarded as clumsy plants by her own team, and inspire bemusement and mockery. Trump liked her, they said, and liked watching her defend him. But even he didn't trust her."

And take it from us, he doesn't think she's hot enough. We cats HISS.