By Hubie and Bertie
In case you were poised to celebrate the "IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED" event — and you all know what that means — please be informed that the video of Benedict Donald collapsing at the open door of the Presidential limo today is AI. Sorry, kids. (And if you think "IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED" referred to LeBron James: He just signed with the Philadelphia 76ers. Josh Shapiro is very happy.)
This is how the news unrolls these days. You really have to be on your toes when it comes to discerning real from fake. Sadly, in a time when most people fail a basic citizenship test, we don't have a lot of confidence that consumers of current events can tell the truth from lies. Still, the Democrats have an 11-point lead on the general Congressional ballot, so things can't be all bad, right?
On the bad side, the Trumpsters have clearly destroyed public health. Or at least they're working at it. Measles cases are the highest they've been since 2000, and the cyclosporiasis outbreak keeps getting worse. It's expanded to nine states, and even though New York is not one of them, we cats are avoiding salads for the foreseeable future. What we don't like is that Taylor Farms, a likely cyclosporiasis source whose CEO is a big Trump donor, reportedly begged the White House for a delay in implementing a recall. Are we surprised? Will anyone tell the Trumpsters? Because Fox News won't.
This administration doesn't give a damn about you and your family — not your grocery bills or the price you pay at the pump, but also, and most importantly, your health. They've driven the cost of coverage into the stratosphere, and have cut back on the regulations that protect us from malign actors like Taylor Farms. There's a reason we Democrats are in favor of keeping government on the backs of corporations — it's because we support the well-being of the American public. We cats HISS.

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