Joe Biden Is Our Cup Of Tea (and Coffee)

By Zamboni

We cats are weary of these fake Biden brouhahas.

They are fake. The last true verbal slip that we can remember Biden making was back in 2007, when he referred to the not-yet-nominated Barack Obama in kinda condescending terms. (And it seems to us that after three and a half years of leading the country together — including sitting in the Situation Room on the night we got Osama bin Laden — Obama and Biden have worked that out.)

All the other so-called gaffes? They were right on the money. That crack about John Roberts. Healthcare reform being a big [CENSORED] deal. Republicans putting people back in chains.

Oh, yes, the chains. We cats ask, where is the gaffe? When Republicans pass laws to prevent Americans with whom they disagree from voting, they are making those Americans second-class citizens, just as slaves were. They are in chains. Our umbrage-y friends on the other side of the aisle can call it what they like, but chains is just as apt a word as any other. Biden was right. He owes no one an apology.

The only thing more ridiculous than this flap? The idea that Meghan McCain, daughter of the man who made the worst VP pick in history, has any credibility on the subject.

Republicans Should Be Worried About Voter Fraud. Because It's Republicans Who Are Doing It.

By Miss Kubelik

So, here's the deal: A guy who was semi-taken-seriously as a Republican Presidential candidate for one brief shining moment in 2012 should not even have been serving legally in Congress since 2010 — and maybe not since 2008.

"Former US Representiave Thaddeus McCotter had less [sic] than the minimum 1,000 petition signatures from registered voters to make the 2010 ballot," POLITICO reports.

"McCotter's campaign claimed it submitted the maximum 2,000 petition signatures allowed. But rampant copying of petition signature pages showed at least 35 petitions pages were copies."

And that's not all, folks:

"McCotter's status for the 2008 ballot appears borderline at best.... More than 900 signatures [were found] that could have been invalidated as a result of the apparent copying of petition signatures from a previous campaign and pasting them onto petitions for 2008.

"The discovery comes days after the Department of the Attorney General charged four former McCotter staffers with election fraud for similar practices that the Bureau of Elections did discover for the 2012 campaign."

We cats say — to paraphrase Willard Mitt Romney — the Grand Old Party could not sink any lower.

Long lines of blacks, Hispanics and people who the GOP thinks hate America, lined up to illegally vote for Democrats? A fantasy.

Republicans in Congress, committing actual voter fraud? A fact.

We cats HISS.

The King Is Still Dead

By Sniffles

It's hard for us cats to believe that Elvis Presley has been gone for 35 years. Not because we were big fans (excusez-nous), but because it's just another reminder that our political awakening during the age of Watergate is starting to be, um, a very long time ago.

Add to that the fact that Elvis, had he lived, would be 77 today — not that much older than folks we love, like Ringo Starr, Simon & Garfunkel and Gordon Lightfoot. Of course, he'd be younger than Pete Seeger — but then, everybody is.

But never mind. Suffice to say that despite his influence on the popular culture, we cats never had much use for The King after he stumbled his way into the Oval Office in 1970. His mission was not clear, and Nixon, being Nixon, did not understand. But this photo is the result.

(Looking back, one realizes that Presley is shaking hands with the man who secretly bombed Cambodia and who promised to end the war in Southeast Asia but didn't for going on five years. How many guys died in the meantime? We don't think Nixon cared. But, we digress.)

Thanks, but no thanks, Elvis. We cats will take this instead.

"Why I Support the President" Wall at Our Local Obama HQ

'Nuff said.

A Stearns Warning

By Baxter

We cats find it interesting that while the Romneybots don't seem to have control of their campaign — the last we checked, Willard and his running mate were disagreeing not just on the budget but also on lifting the Cuban embargo — the Republican Party hasn't exactly got a grip on itself, either.

Latest case in point: Cliff Stearns lost his primary in Florida last night, a shocker. Not just because he was sitting on a huge wad of cash, but because he was bested by a teabagger with no experience, less money, and the improbable name of "Yoho."

You can bet that the folks over at Planned Parenthood are celebrating. We're not sure how the lamebrains at Susan G. Komen feel, unless it's "Oh, damn."

And what do we cats think? That despite another Florida election yesterday in which a veteran Republican trounced a teabagger, the Stearns defeat is just one more instance of a high-ranking member of the GOP falling to a clown, in a primary over which the party should have had control. A guy who was elected as a quasi-reasonable conservative a hundred years ago runs farther and farther to the right, and still doesn't insulate himself from the wackos. Incredible.

Oh, and let's not forget that Cliff Stearns had been endorsed by the ever-batty Michele Bachmann and Allen West, and by someone named "Paul Ryan."

(IMAGE: Republicans For Obama)

Here's All You Need to Know for November

A Human Being We Still Miss

By Zamboni

Tomorrow would have been Julia Child's 100th birthday.

We cats are not marking the occasion because we're gourmands. Heck, Friskies ocean whitefish and tuna pate, scooped fresh from the pop-top can, is our idea of heaven. No, we choose to salute Mrs. Child not just for everything she did for American cooks, but because, goodness gracious, she was a good Democrat.

You know that from the delicious 1940s-1950s letters she shared with Avis DeVoto, lovingly collected in As Always, Julia, which we cats highly recommend if you're still casting about for some good summer reading. "Always interesting what you say about the Republicans," Julia writes Avis in October 1953. "I find it rather hard to capitalize that word!" (So do we, Julia, so do we.)

Julia and Avis are equally aghast at the behavior of Joseph McCarthy, and thrilled at Joseph Welch's "have you no decency" smackdown at what would come to be known as the Army-McCarthy hearings.

"Welch is absolutely entrancing," Avis writes Julia in April 1954. "His intonations are positively devastating. The cameras immediately swung to Cohn-McCarthy — McCarthy tittered in a rather embarrassed way, then did a double-take and began to look mad — Cohn looked stony. The hearing room rocked with mirth. And it's all anybody is talking about..."

We cats shudder to think what Julia and Avis would think of today's GOP. Thankfully (for them), they're not around to see it — Avis died in 1989, Julia in 2004 — but we believe they would not be charmed.

In fact, if we cats had a time machine, we'd go back and try to spend an afternoon with Julia, Avis and a pitcher of martinis. Because we'd have a lot to talk about. How do we know? Here's a quote from Julia to Avis in October 1954:

"I keep thinking of the know-nothing Republicans, and their contempt for foreigners... Shall not pursue this line any further."

Some things never change.

A Riddle, Wrapped In A Mystery, Inside An Enigma

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are puzzled by Willard Mitt Romney's campaign stop in Little Havana yesterday — and not because he elected to skip that venerable Cuban hangout, La Versailles.

We're wondering why he went to Little Havana at all. Because the more we think about it, the odder it seems.

Sure, it gave Silly Willy the opportunity to stand next to Baby Marco Rubio, who could then explain why he wasn't at all offended at not being picked for Vice President, despite all those weeks of frantic buzz. But Little Havana — at least, the people who can turn out for a rally in the middle of a business day because they're comfortably retired on Social Security and Medicare — is already a solid win for the GOP. Why go someplace where you've already locked up every conceivable vote? Shouldn't Romney be campaigning among the undecideds?

Okay, maybe the Romneybots would say, "We have to show Hispanics that we still care about them." But even so, Little Havana makes no sense.

The Hispanic bloc that is contestable in Florida is the Puerto-Rican-Dominican-Mexican-American vote in Central Florida. Central Florida is where the campaign will be won or lost. It's where Baby Marco rolled up decent-enough numbers among non-Cubans to help him win in 2010. In 2008, it was where Obama-Biden steamrolled over McCain and the famous quitter from Alaska to counter the Cuban vote in Miami. If Romney was truly making a pitch for Hispanics in the Sunshine State, his plane landed 250 miles off its mark.

So.... what does this mean? That Romney is not confident enough to appear before anything but a guaranteed-safe audience? That, having snubbed Baby Marco for veep, they know they really hurt themselves in Florida? That they have no idea where their nominee should be campaigning 90 days before the election?

Just another indication of a finely tuned, well-oiled, everyone-on-the-same-page political machine (not). We cats PURR.

Woe Is Willard: Looking Even Stupider Now Edition

"Today, at the end of these, the third London Olympics... I think you only need two words to sum up these games: Britain delivered. We showed the world what we're made of, we reminded ourselves what we can do, and, yes, we've demonstrated that you should never count Team GB down and out."

—Prime Minster David Cameron, August 12, 2012

Imagine 2016

By Sniffles

It looks as if the London Olympics have ended successfully. That must be a relief to Willard Mitt Romney, who no longer needs to feel disconcerted about them. Just one of the many, many things Silly Willy has called wrong.

And speaking of which, we cats were wondering how the GOP's 2016 hopefuls were reacting to The Wall Street Journal's Paul Ryan pick. See, we figured their comments would give us hints on their plans for four years from now. If they lavished praise on Ryan himself, they're probably not running. If their comments were more generic, they've already bought plane tickets for Iowa. For example:

Marco Rubio (not running): "Paul Ryan is a courageous reformer who understands our nation's challenges, blah blah blah...."

Rubio again (running): "The Romney-Ryan ticket offers the American people visionary leadership, blah blah blah..."

Rob Portman (not running): "Paul Ryan is an accomplished public servant and one of my best friends in Congress, blah blah blah...."

Jeb Bush (running): "This courageous choice is the type of leadership American voters deserve, blah blah blah...”

Bobby Jindal (not running): "Paul is a good friend and one of the smartest guys I served with in Congress, blah blah blah..."

Tim Pawlenty (running, although goodness knows why): "It’s a great ticket, blah blah blah..."

Rick Santorum (running, although trying to throw us off the scent with a few pro-Ryan sidebars): "I look forward to supporting the Romney-Ryan ticket in the weeks to come, blah blah blah....”

Newt Gingrich (not running): "Paul Ryan is the largest step the GOP has taken towards solving the country’s problems since Reagan and Kemp, blah blah blah...”

Chris Christie (definitely running): The Romney-Ryan team is uniquely positioned to blah blah blah...." (Note to Christie: When you book your flight to Des Moines, buy two seats.)

Sarah Palin.... who cares? As usual, she made no sense anyway.

P.S. While we're on the subject, we cats loved this pre-Ryan story about the GOP '16-ers, especially the hilarious quote about how positioning and preening are part of "the normal rhythms of the closing days of a national race." Closing days?!? It's August! Willard hasn't even been nominated yet! (But then, as Ed Rollins pointed out, "People don't think Romney's got that great a shot. He hasn't run a very good campaign.")