A Thought As We Move Into 2024

Looks like we'll have to rely on Black women to save America again, because the rest of us are a bunch of unreliable hand-wringers. But as Isaiah says, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Let's get working, folks. We cats PURR.

New Year's Resolution: Don't Let The Republicans Get Away With Their Crap

By Sniffles

As we get ready to knock another year off the kitchen counter, let's resolve to always call out Republicans when they start vomiting up nonsense. Which is what they do all the time.

Yes, it will be exhausting. Yes, it's because they must project their own sins onto Democrats in order to fool voters in the 2024 election. No, it will not work — as long as we keep telling the world that they're liars, because we can't rely on the media to do it without our saying so in the first place. (Apparently, investigative journalism has died.)

The latest example from our neck of the woods is the brouhaha the GOP is trying to gin up over Chick-fil-A and New York highway rest stops. There's a fight going on to make the right-wing, antigay franchise, which has restaurants at several stops on the New York Thruway, open on Sundays, which the company famously does not do.

We don't give a full litter box about Chick-fil-A's supposed piety in allowing their employees to worship on Sundays. What about the many Thruway travelers who don't observe the Christian Sabbath? More to the point, why can't Chick-fil-A hire non-Christians to work their restaurants and serve hungry travelers that day?

So we cats have written our New York State Assemblywoman, Carrie Woerner, to tell her exactly that. We didn't mention that we've never eaten at a Chick-fil-A, and never will. Our larger point is this: Don't sign up to open food franchises on the Thruway if you can't abide by the rules — and those rules say, you must be open on Sundays.

Lindsey Graham has sashayed across the sets of Fox "News" to scream about Chick-fil-A and claim anti-Christian bias by the state of New York. Which is utter claptrap. Someday, we'd like to know what it is that the Russians have on Lindsey to turn him into such a Trumpy jackass. In the meantime, let's call him out. We cats HISS.

Is This Bad? It Seems Bad.

By Hubie and Bertie

When George Conway tweeted a few hours ago, "Is a fourth quarter really necessary here," there was no need to ask what he was talking about — even among us non-football fans.

That's because Florida pooh-bahs — Republicans all — have been making fools of themselves lately, suing the NCAA over Florida State's "wrongful exclusion" from this year's playoffs, and using taxpayer money to do it. Really? Is Florida so free of other problems right now that they can devote precious state resources to a sports thing? They have no insurance crisis, no global warming, no lack of affordable housing? Good to know they're in such great shape!

And now, at tonight's Orange Bowl, those bleating GOP masters of faux outrage got their just deserts: Florida State fell to the University of Georgia Bulldogs by the jaw-dropping score of 63 to 3.

We have no idea if this wipeout has any bearing on the validity of Florida State's playoff exclusion, and we don't really care. It's just a marvelous face-washing for the Ron DeSantises, Rick Scotts, Ashley Moodys and Marco Rubios of the world. We cats PURR.

Is This Real?

We're still waiting to find out if this alleged post by Lauren Boebert is a parody. Which it might be. But as long as it's hard to tell, we cats have decided to HISS and PURR at the same time.

Haley's Comment

By Miss Kubelik

Is Nikki Haley crashing and burning? It's still up in the air how, or whether, her moronic response to a fifth-grade Civil War question will damage her. She's certainly been savaged today by everyone we've seen on social media and in the press — but few if any of those people are Republican primary voters. And any candidate who hopes to peel away supporters from Benedict Donald will surely have to seduce a healthy chunk of the GOP Stupid.

However, as it happened, Haley stumbled in New Hampshire, a state with a quirky electorate that's unrepresentative of today's currently Trumpy Republican Party. And New Hampshire also allows registered independents to participate in either party's primary. Those are folks who might look at what happened yesterday and decide that ol' Nikki just isn't very smart.

Ron DeSantis doesn't seem quite as poised to pick up moderate and independent votes from Haley as perhaps Chris Christie is. So here's some quick advice for Christie: Remind Granite State voters that although New Hampshire was far from the major battles of the Civil War, it still sent 31,657 soldiers and 836 officers to fight, and that 20 percent of those men did not come home.

Haley's offensively flip "What do you want me to say about slavery?" response indicated a lack of empathy if nothing else. Christie could demonstrate that he understands the sacrifices that 19th-century New Hampshirites made to help eradicate America's original sin. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Michelle, Five Years On

By Zamboni

Rereading Michelle Wolf's brilliant monologue at the 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner is an eye-popping experience. Not just because of everything that's happened since (Roe v. Wade overturned, Biden elected, January 6, Mike Pence), but because her closing remarks are still so spot-on.

"You guys are obsessed with Trump," she said. "Did you used to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. 

"I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you."

Beltway journos were highly offended. So offended, in fact, that they're defiantly still doing what Wolf accused them of. They still love Donald Trump, covering him incessantly, portraying him in many cases as a normal candidate, allowing themselves to be distracted by dictator talk and more. They do it for eyeballs, likes and clicks — and to keep their Republican sources happy because they're perennially spooked about being labeled "the liberal media." It's sickening.

Yes, paying attention to any four-time-indicted, 91-felony-count-carrying politician who talks about retribution and vengeance if he gets back into power is important. But to be honest, his shtick long ago wore thin. We've had enough of him, and only parcel him out to ourselves in little pieces in order to keep up. We'll skim the headlines and maybe the first paragraphs in The New York Times and Washington Post, and then turn away. When the cable-news chyrons scream "Trump, Trump, Trump," the TV goes off. Deny him the attention he wants, refuse to watch the ads that pay for the drivel broadcast by CNN and MSNBC.

It's the only path for sanity on the eve of what's promising to be a crazy political year. But ironically, it's dawned on us that here we are, posting about him. Sigh. We cats HISS.

Keeping Christmas Well

Our Jimmy Carter peanut ornament celebrates the Carters' years of service to the United States and the world. Together, for decades, they worked hard to make the lives of others better. "May that be truly said of us, and all of us." We cats salute them, and we PURR.

Woodymania

By Baxter

In the category of You Learn Something New Every Day, this was the year that we discovered Canada's own Woody the Talking Christmas Tree. Which means that 2023 was very good.

Every holiday season, Woody presides over a mall in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia — and his gig is to creep out adults, frighten small children, and make a lot of eye-rolling, tree-related puns. (There is a guy inside him who voices his comments in real time. Yep, his lips move.) Woody also accepts offerings of Cinnabons from intimidated shoppers. He's been around since 1980 — with a 15-year hiatus, during which he got revamped to a more benign face (he used to be uglier). We think he's still a bit off-putting. But you can't beat his Twitter account.

Woody's last day at the mall, apparently, is Christmas Eve. Surprising that he doesn't hang around for Boxing Day. But it was clear today was the end when he tweeted this. Have a tree-mendous Christmas, everybody. We cats PURR.

"'Twas the night before Xmas

And all through the mall

Not a retail employee was stirring

A shout out to all!

Me, all punned out, and Santa icing his lap

Just settled down to a Cinnabon snack

Back to the North Pole

It’s okay, I’m alright

Merry Creepymas to all

To all a good night."

A Cat's Work Is Never Done

POTUS says that Willow Biden is the Official White House Ornament Inspector. Knowing she's on the job makes us PURR.

Let The Holidays Begin

By Sniffles

 

The Supreme Court won't fast-track Benedict Donald's immunity case. But don't fret — there are plenty of glad tidings today. Ron DeSantis's expensive ground game in Iowa is sucking big-time, there's another Ziegler gay sex video, and Wisconsin Republicans have been ordered to redraw their gerrymandered legislative maps. And at 2 pm our email slowed to a trickle. Christmastime is here, right? After celebrations at a fabulous small French restaurant in Montreal, it's back to the land of E Pluribus Unum tomorrow. We cats PURR.