Hissy Fit

By Baxter

So, it seems as if folks mainly, um, kept their powder dry at today's Senate gun hearing, despite a couple of testy moments between Dick Durbin and the ever-unlikable Wayne LaPierre. (We cats are not taking back a word of our previous post about how repellent lots of Americans, seeing him for the first time, are finding L'il Wayne.)

We also heartily endorse the courageous appearance of Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly. It's kind of hard for gun nuts to argue with the fact that, as the former Congresswoman haltingly said, "Too many children are dying." (You notice that her short statement was about kids who have been shot, not herself.)

However, we cats must stop, just for a moment, for one quibble. We'll say it now, and then try to refrain from ever saying it again.

We perfectly understand that reasonable, articulate gun owners like Giffords and Kelly will make the arguments that, in the matter of reducing gun violence, will carry the day. But boy, we are sick and tired of hearing things like this: "Gabby and I are pro-gun-ownership...We believe wholly and completely in the Second Amendment of our Constitution — and that it confers upon all Americans the right to own a firearm for protection, collection and recreation."

Bless you, Mark Kelly, but that is precisely where we part ways. We cats despise the Second Amendment, and if we could, we would take an Exacto knife and slice it completely out of the U.S. Constitution. We also would love it if what the gun-happy lamebrains on the right fear most were true: That we are coming for their guns. We hate guns. Nobody should have them except for soldiers and cops. Aside from racism, we can't think of a greater scourge that's visited our nation than our insatiable love affair with guns.

But since we know we're way out in left field on this one — and that to even say these things probably endangers the fragile coalition that's forming to prevent future Newtowns — we'll just shut up and settle for universal background checks.

(IMAGE: 16 of the kids killed at Sandy Hook. Shame on us.)