Lest We Furr-get: Happy Watergate "Whitewash" Anniversary!

By Miss Kubelik

How time flies! Forty-two years ago today, Nixon White House staffers John Ehrlichman and Bob Haldeman, plus then-Attorney General Richard Kleindienst resigned because of the mushrooming Watergate scandal.

Oh, and John Dean was fired.

Richard Nixon announced the resignations (and the firing) and pronounced (pompously, as always), "There can be no whitewash at the White House."

Well, of course we all know how things turned out, don't we? There was indeed a whitewash — otherwise known as a cover-up — and it went on for another year and a half, until Nixon himself resigned in August 1974.

Today, as the Republican smear machine gears up for 2016, we cats thought it might be useful to remember some GOP misdeeds of the past. Watergate sure was a biggie. For those of us who loathed Nixon and enjoyed seeing him get his comeuppance, it was satisfying — but at the same time we all knew how destructive it was to the country. After the Nixon scandals (and Vietnam, thanks a lot, LBJ), Americans would never trust their government again.

So let us take today's anniversary to recall that 69 Nixon officials were indicted for various crimes either directly or tangentially connected to Watergate, and 48 were convicted — including Haldeman, Ehrlichman and Kleindienst, and other Republican bright lights like John Mitchell, Jeb Magruder, the Watergate burglars and, of course, John Dean. Kinda more serious than a few, um, romantic encounters with a White House intern, no? We cats HISS.

Wanted: Better Angels

By Zamboni

Remember when the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived said he was "a uniter, not a divider"? Well, the Worst Person— although he took advantage of the shock the nation felt after 9/11 — was one of the most enthusiastic practitioners of the politics of division you'd ever want to see. You don't vilify gay people to win re-election in 2004 and then get to claim that you're a "uniter," sorry.

This question of national unity is on our furry minds tonight, because we cats just had a brief conversation with a friend who said that he didn't want to go anywhere near the city of Baltimore. We didn't have to ask why. The friend meant, "I don't want to be where black people are rioting." It was clear from his comments that he'd bought the FOX "News" line about collusion among Baltimore street gangs hook, line and sinker.

We cats tactfully replied, "We think those claims are overblown." But we found the conversation very depressing. The FOX narrative had obviously sold so easily and so well.

So tonight, we are worried about many things. One, that the destructive actions of a few Baltimoreans will obscure the important message of the many — that police brutality against minorities is a continuing and serious American problem. Two, that as a nation, we'll never be able to overcome the divisions among us. Not if we can't come to agreement that one set of citizens has a different experience with law enforcement than another set of citizens does.

The fire that's burning in Baltimore can be lit anywhere. It can happen in New York, Chicago, or Washington, DC — or even in our friend's preferred location, Richmond, Virginia. It just happens to be in Maryland's biggest city right now.

Which makes us think again of how the Worst Person played on a peculiarly American myth: that we as a nation are special, bonded to one another in a great journey of freedom and democracy. It may have been true once (after Pearl Harbor, when, unlike the Worst Person, Franklin Roosevelt had the smarts to call upon Americans' best spirit, and ask for sacrifice and hard work). But even then, underneath it all, we were not united. Because there were Americans who — whether they were black or gay or female or Japanese — did not enjoy the same rights that other Americans did.

The history of the United States is a wonderful tale of "who's next?"— who will be the next group of Americans who will fully realize equal rights under the law? We cats are enthralled by the many chapters of this story. We just wish sometimes that it wasn't so painful. Like now.

Wouldn't it be great if all the "next" groups of Americans got together and declared their American-ness? If there were a convention of blacks, women, gays, Latinos, whoever — all of whom gathered to write and present a... well, a Declaration of Non-Independence? One that said, "America, we are part of you, whether you like it or not"? One that "placed before mankind the common sense of the subject, in terms so plain and firm as to command their assent"?

Ah, well. That's probably fantasy. In the meantime, we have to rely on things like Supreme Court decisions and political campaigns and voter turnout. Scary stuff. We cats, being loyal and devoted Americans, PURR and HISS at the thought.

Oh, Pew!

By Sniffles

We cats just aced the Pew Research Center News IQ test of basic political knowledge. But we're not waiting for our gold star or blue ribbon. We're supposed to know stuff like this.

What we're concerned about is that when we got our results, Pew told us that we "scored better than 90 percent of the population and the same as 10 percent."

Eek! Only 10 percent of Americans know that Republicans control the Senate, that three women sit on the US Supreme Court, and that the photo above is a picture of Senator Elizabeth Warren? And that bit about not knowing who Malala Yousafzai is? Pretty scary.

In this alleged age of instantly accessible information, there's some pretty important stuff that's not getting through. We cats are doing our part to rectify that, but still, we HISS.

Cheeseheads For Marriage Equality

By Baxter

We cats respectfully disagree that a SCOTUS ruling in favor of marriage equality would benefit the Republican Party. Believe us, we have spent enough time reading the contemptuous comments over at Free Republic to know that the gay-haters will not go quietly.

Not only will they immediately gin up a Constitutional amendment campaign, but they'll insist on a pro-amendment plank in the 2016 GOP party platform. And what will the Republicans do about speakers at the convention? It won't be pretty (but for us, lots of fun).

Still, we must remember this: Whatever the Supreme Court decides come June, it will be up to the Democrats to keep the Republicans' feet to the fire on gay rights. We cats will be doing our part — as soon as we can figure out this cheesehead thing.

(PHOTO: Jonathan Ernst, Reuters)

Ian Reisner Doesn't Know How To Work That Dang Internet Machine

By Miss Kubelik

Openly gay hotelier Ian Reisner claims he's dumbstruck. But we cats think he's just dumb.

Really! What else can you be when you swear you had no idea that hosting right-wing Republican hater Rafael Cruz for dinner the other night would get Reisner and his biz bud, Mati Weiderpass, in such hot water? "I am shaken to my bones," he said, "by the emails, texts, postings and phone calls of the past few days."

What? Ian, darling, we live in the age of instantaneous information. Cruz's positions on gay rights (and a zillion other issues) are out there for all the world to see.

So we're left wondering how someone like Reisner can be successful if he's so stupid. Could it be that money — particularly the taxes he pays, which he surely thinks are too high but which fund things like research on a cure for AIDS — is more important to Reisner than anything? Which means that for him, greed trumps all?

Or could it be that, since the ostensible purpose of the Cruz event was to discuss support for Israel, Ian Reisner has some, um, relationship with Ken Mehlman and Ari Fleischer that dares not be disclosed?

Suffice to say we cats are not buying Reisner's "shock" at the brouhaha he's caused. But we want to know more about that Ian-Kenny-Ari connection. We cats PURR.

Freepers: Boxed In By Semantics

By Zamboni

We cats are wondering why, especially with an earthquake in Nepal and other problems raging in the world, we're all supposed to be enraptured with tonight's White House Correspondents' Dinner. We checked briefly on the dinner's "red carpet moments" and found that we didn't know who three-quarters of the scantily clad attendees were. Those folks wouldn't know a White House correspondent if they fell over one. Our condolences to President Obama for being obligated to attend Washington's silliest event.

But as long as the world is consumed with fluff and faux-celebrity, let's check on our right-wing friends over at Free Republic to see how they're handling America's newly famous transsexual, Bruce Jenner, and his declaration that he's a conservative Republican. (A far more shocking confession, in our book, than becoming a woman. Going girl, we understand. But why would anyone want to be a Republican?)

Unlike Jenner, who seems to know his own mind when it comes to gender identity, the Freepers are confused. Almost immediately, they descended into a tortured discussion about what Bruce meant when he said "conservative." Clearly they don't want to surrender their cherished adjective to a weird, maybe homo guy. So they're bending over backward to try to take it back.

And as always with our friends the Freeps, it's all very amusing. But we warn Bruce Jenner: Don't plan on making a speech at next year's Republican convention. Not when the GOP's whackjob base says things like this about you:

"This doesn’t exactly fill me with pride (to say the least)."

"From the cover of Wheaties to the cover of Fruit Loops."

"Regarding the man or woman thing, I believe he is nuts."

"A pear saying it is a broccoli is still a fruit."

"Choosing to self-mutilate the body God gave you is not a conservative value."

"Jenner and all like him/her/it are emotionally and mentally disturbed or outright insane. Nothing they claim or say should be taken seriously."

"When I think of Jenner I don’t thing conservative or liberal. I just think 'freak'!”

And here's our fave, bar none: "When is Bruce going to join Jeb on the campaign trail?" We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: GOP Homosexual Tendencies Edition

By Sniffles

Ah, those Republicans and their "gay" problems. Even though Rick Perry has tried to claim that the GOP is enduring a bunch of "gotcha" questions from the Christian-haters in the liberal media, the 2016 wannabes are still caught up in trying to out-Jindal one another. Here are a couple that have caught our eye lately.
 
First, we were wondering how were our friends over at Free Republic were reacting to Rafael Cruz's statement at a gay-hosted reception in New York that he would love his daughters even if they turned out to be lesbians. Unsurprisingly, their comments boiled down to this: "I would never not love her, but at the same time not agree with her choice [sic]." But, wait — what are two prominent gay businessmen doing, inviting Ted Cruz over in the first place?

Then we were wondering how the Freepers felt about Cruz missing that vote on Loretta Lynch. That one was a bit harder for them to excuse. Here's our fave: "VERY DISSAPOINTED [sic] IN TED! As a Texan I must ask him, had he been at the Alamo, would he have not fought till the end? VERY DISSAPOINTED [sic]!"

(So glad to see that those Texas schools are teaching spelling so well.)

Finally, as long as we're on the subject of crazy Republicans and the gay thing, we just have to say: Fat Mike Huckabee was never our favorite person. But at least he wasn't the utter whackjob that other passengers of the GOP clown car were. As Arkansas governor, he stepped up to the plate after Hurricane Katrina, and he commuted a lot of prison sentences. And since he had to deal with a Democratic legislature, he actually had to govern.

Now, though, obsessed with hating on homosexuals, Huckabee has gone totally off the deep end. (He must know that the Freepers don't cotton to him much.) Still, like Cruz, we cats expect he'll give the GOP establishment a lot of headaches in 2016. Which makes us PURR.

Ugh, Must Get Tim Walberg Off The Top Of The Blog. Here's Some Cute Red Panda!

"If Jesus Could Come Back Today And See Everything That's Being Done In His Name, He Would Never Stop Throwing Up"

By Baxter

So the Republican-controlled House Oversight and Government Reform Committee has torpedoed a District of Columbia reproductive-rights/anti-workplace-discrimination law — partly because they are religious zealots, and partly because they love telling black people what they can and cannot do.

Mostly, though, they love bossing around women — no matter what color they are.

We cats don't usually sink to this level, but here we go. Take one look at committee member and right-wing GOP Jesus freak Tim Walberg, and you know that this is a guy who couldn't get a date in high school and has hated women ever since.

Attention, female voters of America: Remember this face in 2016. It is the face of a Republican Party that thinks you're all idiots. In the meantime, we cats dump our dirty litter boxes in Tim Walberg's underwear drawer. And we HISS.

(Don't) Say A Little Prayer

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are not atheists — being cats, it's pretty hard for us to argue against the existence of a supreme being — but we were mighty pleased to learn that the Supreme Court of Canada recently told the city council of Saguenay, Quebec, to stop opening their meetings with a Catholic prayer.

The case dates back eight years and originated as a complaint filed by an atheist guy who teamed up with a secular group called le Mouvement Laique Quebecois — after which the mayor of Saguenay went nuts, ginning up a counter-campaign and insisting the prayers were just a celebration of the province's Roman Catholic heritage.

Gee, what does that sound like? Remind you of those yahoos in the American South who want to fly the Confederate battle flag everywhere? Or the teabags and crazies in the Republican Party who scream about their "religious freedoms" getting trampled all the time?

Now, we cats adore Quebec, but please. The court provided the true definition of religious freedom in its decision, which said: "The state's duty to protect every person's freedom of conscience and religion means that it may not use its powers in such a way as to promote the participation of certain believers or non-believers in public life to the detriment of others."

No pun intended, but we cats say amen to that. We've never understood why people can't "respect heritage" and, at the same time, refrain from inflicting individual religious beliefs or objectionable symbols on everybody else — especially when the state's involved. So, no prayers in Saguenay's city council. And although we know that some in the South consider it a religious symbol, no Confederate flags on state house grounds or license plates, either. We cats PURR.

Freepers Drop The Dropout

By Zamboni

One of the reasons we cats find the nation's progress on marriage equality so satisfying is that we know it's going to be the issue that wreaks havoc on the Republican Party in 2016.

(Well, sure, there will be other issues. But gosh! Practically all of the United States has moved forward on the idea of not discriminating against gay people. And there's the deeply Southern, Christian whackjob GOP base, just pounding each other to bits about it. Fun to watch.)

Just a few days ago, our right-wing friends over at Free Republic were raking Baby Marco Rubio over the coals for saying he'd consider going to a gay wedding if he was close to the couple involved. Now, they're freaking out over Scott Walker, who claims he's already attended a "reception" for a same-sex married couple. Here are just a few of their choice comments:

"I knew there was a reason I would never vote for him."

"I won’t vote for anyone who doesn’t see that attendance at one of these travesties is tantamount to approval. No exceptions."

"He has two strikes against him now. He is pro-amnesty and he is courting the homosexuals’ votes."

"It won’t surprise me Walker will be reading a speech in Spanish at La Raza six months from now."

"Maybe he’s tough on unions, but he sure doesn’t seem to give a damn on the Gay Mafia’s attempts to eradicate our religious freedoms."

So sorry, Scott — you may have just scooped up the evil Koch brothers' shadowy endorsement, but the Freepers have decided they hate you. Could be a problem. We cats PURR.

A Quickie: John Kasich Said What?

By Sniffles

We cats have been wondering why passengers in the 2016 Republican clown car keep pointing out crap that has absolutely nothing to do with qualifying them for the White House.

Like Baby Marco Rubio, for example. So his dad was a bartender and his mother was a maid. That makes him Presidential material? We don't get it. Sure, Abraham Lincoln grew up poor and split rails — but Franklin D. Roosevelt was a child of privilege, and both were equally great Presidents. So we cats say, go take a hike, Baby Marco.

But the latest GOP goofball — and the one that we think really takes the cake — is John Kasich. Trying to decide whether to run, Kasich said, "The most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?”

Sorry — no. Here's the most important thing: Why doesn't an idiotic statement like that immediately disqualify John Kasich for anything, let alone the Presidency? We cats HISS.

Harper's Not Doing What?

By Baxter

We cats are in Canada for a short spell, and since the country is deep into the Stanley Cup playoffs, it's an interesting time to be here. Is there anything else happening in the True North besides hockey? Well, there's balancing the federal budget. Oh, and a harassment case against the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. (Nope, not Dudley Do-Right.)

But we cats think the only item on the Canadian agenda right now should be climate change, and nothing but climate change. Because we recently came across some pretty alarming news about what global warming will mean for this country if it isn't stopped in its tracks, like, yesterday: No glaciers, no permafrost, no polar bears, no maple syrup, no cranberries... shall we go on?

We cats don't understand why Tory Prime Minister Stephen Harper isn't in Washington every single month, getting into the faces of the Congressional Republicans who are standing in the way of US action on climate change. Because if something isn't done, come the turn of the next century there won't be any ice for the NHL to play on.

But — oh! We forgot. Harper is the Canadian equivalent of a Republican himself. We still think he has a hotline to Karl Rove — which makes us want to dump our dirty litter boxes over his head. And HISS.

Member Of The Wedding?

By Miss Kubelik

One of the things that we cats think will make the endless 2016 campaign season bearable is all the silly statements that the Republican clown car passengers will make. And the hot water they'll get into afterward.

Latest case in point: Baby Marco Rubio, telling Fusion host Jorge Ramos that, sure, he'd deign to attend a same-sex wedding.

Leaving aside how condescending this sounds — do we think Baby Marco would like it if someone said to him, "Okay, I'll come to your wedding, even though you're Cuban"? — it ranks among The Silly, since OMG! We can just hear the Freepers' heads exploding now.

Our reaction? As Democrats, we cats must say: Who cares? Because who would want:

• Charles or David Koch at an environmental rally?
• Bobby Jindal at a meeting of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State?
• Sarah Palin at a Planned Parenthood event?
• Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh at a Vietnam veteran's memorial service?
• The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived at a MADD convention?
• Scott Walker at a reception with the American Association of University Professors? 
• Rick Scott at an Alien Abduction Survivors support group?

The list is endless. We invite you to submit your own. In the meantime, we cats PURR while we HISS.

Somebody Get Wayne A Fat Map

By Zamboni

Deranged NRA pooh-bah Wayne LaPierre gave a dark and dystopian speech the other day, saying, "Eight years of one demographically symbolic President is enough."

We cats know that LaPierre — as his is wont — was referring in a creepy and hateful way to certain Democrats' race and gender. But did anybody tell him he could also be talking about Chris Christie?

Supporting Roles

By Sniffles

Eugene Robinson wrote a chatty column today about Hillary Rodham Clinton's Presidential campaign and the video that launched it. And as often happens with Robinson — and yes, we know he's a good liberal — he said something silly:

"Conspicuously absent [in the video] is a certain William Jefferson Clinton. I have a feeling, though, that he'll show up eventually."

Ridiculous. First, Hillary is the candidate. But second, the video was clearly about American voters and aimed at voters. No room for Bill. (Or Chelsea. Or Marc. Or Charlotte.)

But that's not the only reason Robinson's comment annoyed us. We're starting to sense an impending double standard here. When Jeb! Bush officially declares his candidacy and releases a video — as he surely must and will — will the journalists who have chirped "Where's Bill?" demand that it include George H.W. Bush? Or the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived? Gosh, we can't imagine why Jeb! wouldn't want to put his disaster of a brother in a video, can you?

And does Rand Paul have a campaign video? If so, does daddy Ron appear in it? If not, has the press commented?

Inquiring minds want to know. But sadly, since we're not hearing any talking heads or pundits yammering about the Republicans the way they do about the Clintons, we haven't seen any answers. Which makes us cats HISS.

...And 150 Years Ago Tomorrow, We Lost Abraham Lincoln

By Baxter

April apparently is the cruelest month, what with two milestone anniversaries of big Presidential deaths practically back to back.

We cats are pleased to see that commemorations for Abraham Lincoln will be in full swing tomorrow, the sesquicentennial of his fatal trip to Ford's. But as long as we're on the subject, we'd just like to say that this finalist for The Washington Post's annual Peeps diorama contest is tacky, tacky, tacky. What's next, Lee Harvey Ospeep leaning out of a miniature Texas School Book Depeepsatory? We cats HISS.

Lest We Furr-get: 70 Years Ago Today, We Lost FDR

The word "icon" is tossed around so carelessly these days that we cats prefer to avoid it. But if any image is iconic, this one is. Taken for Life magazine on the day Franklin D. Roosevelt's body left Warm Springs, Georgia for Washington, DC, it pretty much sums up how 99 percent of the country felt at the time. Funny — after all these years, that despicable other 1 percent hasn't changed at all, has it? We cats HISS.

Republicans Say, Don't Take From The Rich, Take From The Poor. Press Looks The Other Way.

By Miss Kubelik

We cats don't care for bones (they're for dogs), but we sure have one to pick with the press for not pushing back on Republicans' outrageous and derogatory claims about their fellow, but less fortunate, citizens.

The latest Republican in question is Rick Brattin, a jackass in Missouri, who's one of the state legislators behind that state's hateful bill to restrict how the poor can spend their food stamps. As with the so-called "religious freedom" bills, this legislation is a solution in search of a problem — although Brattin has screamed, "I have seen people purchasing filet mignons and crab legs!"

Really, Rick? Well, you know what they say in Missouri: Show Me.

Or rather, show the press. But we saw no evidence that reporters immediately responded with, Oh yeah? When and where have you witnessed these purchases, Representative Brattin? We'd like dates, times, store names and addresses, please. And then we'll look at the supermarkets' security videos, thank you very much.

This is the kind of crap that Ronald Reagan started back in 1976 with his tall tales of "welfare queens" who were out to game the system. Sadly — and shame on the GOP for this — their demonizing of other Americans has not only never gone away, it's gotten much, much worse. 

We have two thoughts here. First, that it would be nice if reporters would do their freaking jobs and stop taking these Republican claims on face value. Second, that the world would not be a worse place if this Brattin guy happened to be the next Missouri Republican to kill himself. We cats HISS.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: End Of The Civil War Edition

By Zamboni

Happy 150th anniversary of Lee's surrender to Grant at Appomattox! Coincidentally, we cats are headed to the Deep South for a day or two, but in the meantime, these news nuggets are catching our eye.

Considering what Brian Williams was caught lying about, perhaps "shell-shocked" is the wrong word to describe how he feels about his suspension.

Did you hear? The US Energy Information Administration says that the Iran nuclear deal could further reduce oil prices by $5 to $15 a barrel. No wonder all those Republicans from fracking states signed Tom Cotton's treasonous letter.

Now that Rand Paul has gotten bitchy with Savannah Guthrie over his post-libertarian flip-flops, all reporters have to do going forward is just read his previous statements to him — verbatim — and ask him to respond. Like this little gem about civil rights: "I think it’s a bad business decision to exclude anybody from your restaurant — but, at the same time, I do believe in private ownership." Or, on Israel: "Should we be giving free money or welfare to a wealthy nation? I don’t think so."

Finally, now that President Obama has come out against "conversion" therapy, we think it's only a matter of time before the teabags and the Jesus-freak nutcases add that to their "infringing on our religion" list. (P.S.: Guess who signed a ban against conversion therapy in New Jersey? Just one of the many reasons Chris Christie is not going to get the Republican nomination.) We cats PURR.

Palmetto Bug

By Sniffles

We cats have never been big fans of the state of South Carolina. After all, what has it given us? Secession, Confederate flags at the State House, Mark Sanford, Nikki Haley and Lady Lindsey, just to name a few. And now you can add fired Officer Michael T. Slager to that dubious list. (Would somebody please ask US Senator Tim Scott — whose appointment Nikki Haley celebrated as the end of racism in the Palmetto State — to comment on how a white policeman could have possibly shot an unarmed black citizen in the back — eight times?)

But wait, it gets better. South Carolina, and particularly South Carolina Republicans, have another headache. He's the former executive director of the state GOP, his name is Todd Kincannon, and he's just been charged with — surprise! — criminal domestic violence.

Seems that Toddie and wife Ashley Griffith were out driving a few weeks back and got into an argument. Even though Toddie was behind the wheel — presumably keeping his eye on traffic, but who knows? — he managed to smack Ashley around a few times. When Ashley tried to get out of the car, Toddie started speeding through traffic to keep her from jumping out. He did the same thing when he pulled into the parking lot of — what else? — a Chick-Fil-A.

Whadda guy! This is, of course, the same GOP jackass who has tweeted horrible stuff at Iraq war vets, Ebola victims and trans folks. Our take? Typical Republican. Typical South Carolinian. We cats hope the Lexington County judge throws not just the book but the entire Encyclopedia Britannica at him. And we HISS.

P.S.: Chick-Fil-A, the Jesus lovers who have such distaste for gays, might want to think twice about the kind of people they let into their parking lots. For shame!

Things That Remind Us Of Things

Are we cats the only ones who have noticed this? We'd research more examples, but we're sick of looking at both of these guys.

Every Now And Then, Gary Hart Thinks We Should Pay Attention To What He Says

By Baxter

So Gary Hart has surfaced in POLITICO, complaining about some things we cats agree with and about other things we don't.

Let's get it on the record right away: Hart is right when he bemoans the disgusting sea of money in which politics is currently awash. But it would have been nice if — instead of citing the campaign of an as-yet-unannounced candidate named Clinton — he had blamed the Supreme Court, the Koch brothers, that little gnome Sheldon Adelson, and all the other dark money billionaires whose rings the GOP wannabes are fervently kissing. As far as we could tell, the words "Citizens United" never crossed his lips.

We also don't understand why Hart prattles on about "dynasties" without acknowledging the obvious: A Hillary Rodham Clinton presidency would be truly groundbreaking. Hello? Has anyone noticed we've had no female commanders in chief? Leave it to a guy to just brush that aside. And believe us, there will come a time when many women will serve as President, and will get there without being married to or the daughter of somebody. We cats don't know when that will be, but it'll happen.

And even though Hart whines about his party's current lack of Trumans or Roosevelts (talk about a dynasty!), we're surprised he doesn't realize just how many interesting Democrats are out there, waiting in the wings. Kirsten Gillibrand, Amy Klobuchar, Kate Brown, Tammy Duckworth, Patrick Murphy, Chris Van Hollen, Joaquin and Julian Castro and, yes, Elizabeth Warren all come to mind. Hillary will have a lot of Democratic talent to tap when she wipes the floor with whatever clown car passenger gets the 2016 Republican nomination. And that's no Monkey Business. We cats PURR.

Third World

By Miss Kubelik

We cats think that RNC Chairman Rancid Pieface has something to worry about. Well, wait — if we're talking about 2016, he has a lot of things to worry about. But here's one that might not have occurred to him.

The Republican primary calendar is pretty much set, and so is the convention. Both are, shall we say, on the early side. Gone are the days when the GOP cravenly waited to convene until the anniversary of September 11 (next year they're scheduled to wrap in Cleveland by July 21). And with the forces of Jeb! likely angling behind closed doors to move the Florida primary to the first available winner-take-all date of March 15, we're sure that Pieface & Friends are rubbing their hands in glee — certain that they've avoided a long and bruising primary season.

But here's a downside to that strategy. Powering a frontrunner toward a near-sure finish line by the first day of spring could leave plenty of time for a third-party candidate to get on state ballots for the fall. And if events unfold the way we think they might, 2016 might be the year that the teabags finally do just that.

Why? The gays, of course! We've checked on our little friends over at Free Republic, and they are hopping mad that their religious freedoms are being taken away. Mike Pence and Indiana Republicans have "capitulated to tyranny." Asa Hutchinson does whatever Walmart tells him. Christians are under attack! And America has become a fascist state! Reading comments like that, we cats think that the Freepers and the teabaggers and the Gadsden flaggers might, at long last, make good on their vow to blow up the GOP. Especially if the Supreme Court does what everybody seems to think they will in June.

Who will their candidate be? Depends on how those early primaries and caucuses go, but we cats are betting on Ted Cruz. He's the type.

The Republicans' nutty base has been screaming "third party" for awhile now, so Rancid Pieface has no excuse for not thinking of this. But he should brace himself. You don't coddle people who say things like "It's all fun and games until the lead starts to fly" without reaping some sort of whirlwind. If that's a third party, we cats would PURR.

Things That Remind Us Of Things

Asa Fool's Day

By Zamboni

In years past, we cats never wanted to shop at Walmart because they were, well, horrible. Yes, their prices were lower, but their labor practices (among other things) were repulsive. We always felt like we had to do some serious grooming whenever we left there.

So we made a point of going to Target. They cost more, but Target had always positioned itself as a socially conscious company, so we were willing to take a dent in the pocketbook to make a point.

How things do change, and in what strange ways! Today it's Walmart that's looking progressive, and Target that's a bunch of idiots. Our little furry heads are spinning.

That's because in addition to giving its employees a raise, Walmart has just wrestled Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson to the ground on his state's so-called "religious freedom" bill. Smiling creepily throughout, Hutchinson gave a press conference yesterday in which he said, oops, he wasn't going to sign that hate bill after all, and his fellow Republicans in Little Rock had to fix it.

Meanwhile, we haven't shopped at Target since the company gave $150,000 to gay-hating Republican gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer in 2010. Their CEO at the time, Gregg Steinhafel, is long gone now — but we see no reason to return to Tar-jay any time soon. Especially since the Family Walton has gotten so hip, progressive and cool.

Who'da thunk it?

Next stop: Our good friends at Free Republic, to see if they've started their NCAA-Angie's List-Walmart boycott yet. What are we thinking? Of course they have. We cats PURR.