Dangerous Clown

By Zamboni

Back in October, when the Harvey Weinstein scandal exploded, one of the horrors of the stories that ran and ran and ran and ran was that every time a new allegation surfaced, we all had to look at a picture of Harvey Weinstein again.

Now, the same thing is happening with Mark Zuckerberg. Ugh, we can't get away from him. Please let his Capitol Hill testimony be over soon. We cannot unsee that bratty face and big forehead.

Meanwhile, with Donald Drumpf foaming at the mouth about Robert Mueller (who didn't order yesterday's raid on Michael Cohen), and Republicans declining to protect Mueller from being sacked, Twitter is talking impeachment again. Heck, some of the tweeps we like most have been talking impeachment for some time.

We cats love those guys, but we say, please no. You impeach Trump, you get Pence. We are not willing to get Pence.

We kid you not: As hideous as Trump is, Pence would be worse. That's because as a previous office-holder he would instantly come with a veneer of political legitimacy. And because the Republicans — who are still in the majority, remember — would rally gratefully around him. And because, as we all know, the media — worthless accomplices and stenographers that they are — would give him a honeymoon to beat all honeymoons. When in reality he is a right-wing religious fanatic and hater. To the nth degree, folks.

So talk to us after the midterms — and after a few months of Russiagate. Because at least two things must happen before we'll jump on the impeachment bandwagon: 1) Democrats must take the House, and 2) Pence must be revealed to be complicit in the Russian intrigue. (We're convinced of that second point. Remember that it was Paul Manafort, Mr. Russia himself, who wanted Pence for the ticket. Trump preferred Chris Christie. It was one of the few times he was talked out of something he wanted to do.)

So either we get President Nancy Pelosi until America can get its act together, or we all just muddle along until we can kick Trump and Pence out the old-fashioned way — with unsullied 2020 votes. Then we can start repairing the grievous damage these gangsters and grifters have done. Which would make us PURR.

(UPDATE, April 11: So the loathsome Paul Ryan is quitting, but that doesn't change our take on impeachment. A Speaker named Kevin McCarthy or Steve Scalise would still be third in line for the Presidency. Still, we're pretty amazed that Ryan won't stick around for the glorious Republican dismantling of the social safety net, and we PURR.)