A Tale Of Two Standards

By Hubie and Bertie

Paul Ryan is an abject failure as Speaker of the House. Even he admits it. "Two regrets I wish we could have gotten done," he bleated recently: comprehensive immigration reform and reducing the national debt.

Gosh! If only somebody like Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House, could have done something about those! Everything would be better now.

Ryan has so many black marks against him, and yet the media have — for years, now — undeservedly treated him like a thoughtful, forward-looking policy wonk. When in reality he's nothing but a soulless, cruel, Ayn Randian idealogue. Why the press jumped on the let's-give-Ryan-policy-chops train, we'll never know.

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi is the most consequential Speaker of the House in our lifetimes. She knows her caucus, knows how to manage it, and makes huge policy history with legislation like the Affordable Care Act. (Yes, all you opioid-addicted West Virginians: You have Obamacare thanks to Nancy Pelosi.) And Pelosi is poised to assume the office again, to protect the nation against the ravages of the Trumpsters.

Yet the media never give her her due. She's too old, she's a poor public speaker, she has rebellion in her ranks, etc., etc., etc.

Ryan's the policy prince, while Pelosi's the doubted one? Please — we're so sick of this. Nancy Pelosi is a woman who is damn good at her job — and the fact that she doesn't get recognized for that is really starting to piss us off. We cats HISS.

Oh, Please.

By Miss Kubelik

These Virginia Republicans are hilarious. Actually, we don't mean that in a good way. We cats would laugh, except that we're hacking up multiple hairballs.

Defeated white dude Scott Taylor in Virginia Beach is whining that he was ousted from office on November 6 because Republicans — wait for it — embraced extremism and Donald Trump.

"Women said to me, 'I like you, but I've been waiting two years to do this,'" he bleated, having lost his Congressional seat in Virginia-02 to Democrat Elaine Luria. Taylor also blamed the state party's nomination of right-wing nutcase Corey Stewart, who ran unsuccessfully against Senator Tim Kaine.

Gosh! We had no idea that Scott Taylor had spent the last two-plus years campaigning vigorously against Benedict Donald, white supremacy, and all the other hideous ideologies and policies that his party had not only accepted but championed. We didn't have a clue that he'd commiserated with his outraged constituents so forcefully about their anger and frustrations. We can see why he'd be mad.

Wait — he didn't? He just stood by and let the haters and the Trumpsters take over his party, without a peep? Well, then, Scott Taylor can go f... you know the rest. We cats HISS.

Meanwhile, Down The Street From The Capitol...

We cats are clever and godlike, but the Methodists just one-upped us. They get a gold star, and we PURR.

Ding Dong, The Witches Are Dead (And Almost Dead)

By Baxter

So the incompetent racist, Cindy Hyde-Smith, survived not just her own idiocy but a spirited challenge from Democrat Mike Espy in yesterday's Mississippi Senate run-off. But Republican Congresswoman Claudia Tenney has finally had a house dropped on her in NY-22.

Both are dings (if not dongs) in the already battered Republican brand.

In case you think members of the GOP is celebrating the outcome in Mississippi, the smarter ones have chills running down their spines. Hyde-Smith underperformed by more than 10 points in the reddest of red-red states. It's a huge failing, one that augurs well for continued inroads by Democrats in the South. And the hard-core right wingers in the Magnolia State are licking their chops in anticipation of taking Hyde-Smith out in a 2020 primary. Consider her almost dead.

As for Tenney, although she gave Donald Trump a lot of love, it wasn't enough, and she really is dead. So much for Trump's theory that only people who distanced themselves from him lost.

The Republicans' willingness to champion horrible people like Hyde-Smith and Tenney is proof that they are not a party that believes in governing — only in tribalism. No matter how venal and inadequate the candidates (and these girls certainly were), the party will embrace anybody who can march in lockstep. For those of us with enough patience, it will be spell the GOP's doom. Meanwhile, we cats HISS.

Time For Some Soft Power (Smart Power, Too)

By Zamboni

We cats are still haunted by the photos of this family being tear-gassed at the Mexican border. We remember how, when we were kittens, Life magazine ran a shocking photo of "the napalm girl" — actually, a group of injured and crying Vietnamese children running from American bombs, one of whom had her clothes torn off from the blasts.

This photo above — of a migrant mom wearing a little girl's Disney pajama top and her terrified child — will be Donald Trump's napalm girl. Congratulations, Benedict Donald, on your most dubious accomplishment to date. You really are a horrible, horrible person.

The justifiable outrage at the tear gassing made us wonder: When we are finally able to banish these evil Trumpsters from our government, will the rest of world just welcome us back? No doubt they'll be as relieved as we will — maybe more. (Remember how the Nobel dudes were so thrilled that George W. Bush wasn't President any more, they gave Barack Obama the Peace Prize?) But our allies and friends will also, rightfully, still be disgusted and mad. How will they react?

In case they need a little winning over, we need to bring out the big guns. Since we assume that Trump will have destroyed the country and the Republican Party so badly that the next President will be a Democrat, he or she (we hope she) will have to make some brilliant foreign policy appointments. How about Michelle Obama as Ambassador to the UN? Or Chelsea Clinton? Either would be a charming and effective diplomat who could mend much-damaged fences around the world. And either would make us PURR.

Our Favorite Take On The White House's Hideous Red Christmas Trees

We just have one thing to say to whoever created this full Handmaid's Tale treatment of the tacky Trump trees: You don't have to worry about Being Best. You are best. We cats PURR.

P.S. That Makes All Three Trump Marriages "Convenient Transactions"

By Sniffles

Gee, Mia Love just showed Donald Trump no love.

In the Utah Republican's concession speech — in which she finally admitted she'd lost her House seat by 700 votes — Love took Trump to task for violating Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment.

"The President’s behavior towards me made me wonder: What did he have to gain by saying such a thing about a fellow Republican? This gave me a clear vision of his world as it is," she added. "No real relationships, just convenient transactions."

Well, brava, Mia — but you're two years too late. We cats wonder: What would have happened if she had declared her disgust with Trump sooner? On the other hand, this year more than 30 Republicans chose to retire rather than run with Trump looming in the background. Or, they ran and lost because of him.

Two questions come to mind:

Will any punditheads observe that no other Republicans have had the guts to do what Love did? (Although, as we've already noted, she was late. But it still beats not at all.)

Will the press ask Utah Senator-elect Willard Romney to comment on Love's speech? Because she also slammed the party he headed in 2012 for turning off minorities. "We feel like politicians claim they know what’s best for us from a safe distance," she said. "Yet they are never willing to take us home." We can only imagine how vilely the teabaggers are trashing Love online right now. And we HISS.

Trump Is Tear-Gassing Jesus Now

"Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

—Matthew 25:40

UPDATE, November 26: California Governor-elect Gavin Newsom tweeted it best: "These children are barefoot. In diapers. Choking on tear gas. Women and children who left their lives behind — seeking peace and asylum — were met with violence and fear. That’s not my America. We’re a land of refuge. Of hope. Of freedom. And we will not stand for this."

UPDATE #2: Tweet from US Senator Brian Schatz (D-Hawaii): "Cruelty is not strength."

The Age Of "Innocence Broken"

By Hubie and Bertie

Here apparently is the Turkey Day moment that drove right-wing America around the bend. We cats missed it live, since we never watch the Thanksgiving Day parade (Matt Lauer or no Matt Lauer), so we're just catching up. Neat!

But in the world of Republican haters and hypocrites, outrage reigns. "NBC and Macy's just blindsided parents who expected this to be a family program, so they could push their agenda on little kids," David Bozell whined on Twitter — which promptly ridiculed him.

It's always an "agenda" with these people, isn't it? It's never simply people being who they are. We cats HISS.

If There's A "Trump's America," This Is It

"I just don’t think it’s ever a good idea to ask Jews to identify themselves," said a passenger on a flight on which a man did just that. The man was arrested on arrival in Atlanta. We cats have had enough of this crap, and we HISS.

JFK 55

Thanksgiving 2018 happens to fall on the anniversary of Dallas. It's also a good day to remember when America actually had a President.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody

A scene from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, 1992: Librado Romero, The New York Times

We Are Also Grateful For Canada

By Miss Kubelik

Canada is such a welcome refuge for the Thanksgiving holiday. Nobody at our dinner table supports Trump. Everyone in Canada hates him.

Why else? Because Canada, at 40 percent, is the US's biggest supplier of imported oil — not Saudi Arabia, at a paltry 11 percent.

Besides which, as the CBC has noted, "Saudi Arabia has sought to boost oil prices by promising to pump fewer barrels in December. A week ago, it backed a proposal for OPEC nations to cut production by one million barrels per day."

So, on the eve of Thanksgiving, what's the bottom line? That Canada is a better friend to "America First"! Plus, Canadians don't murder and dismember journalists! We cats are using lots of Donald Trump-y exclamation points because we love Canada! And we PURR.

This Reeves Is A Real Superman

By Baxter

On the eve of Turkey Day, we cats are thankful for Judge Carlton Reeves, who just put anti-choice misogynist Mississippi legislators in their place.

Ruling their latest abortion ban unconstitutional and accusing them of "pure gaslighting," Judge Reeves twisted the knife in the side of the Mississippi GOP with this: "Its leaders choose not to lift a finger to address the tragedies lurking on the other side of the delivery room, such as high infant and maternal mortality rates... No, legislation like [the abortion ban] is closer to the old Mississippi — the Mississippi bent on controlling women and minorities."

Reeves is an Obama appointee. You see what a difference it makes when Democrats appoint judges and not Republicans? We cats PURR.

Obama Bows, Trump Kneels

By Zamboni

President Obama had a habit of bowing to people. It's unclear why this seemed to be a thing with him — perhaps because he spent a lot of his Wonder Bread years overseas — but we cats always thought he should cut it out. It's one thing to show respect to someone by inclining your head, but when it comes to foreign royalty, American leaders do not bow. That's why we fought the Revolution.

So we well remember when, back in 2009, the teabaggers and the right wingers went crazy, accusing Obama of having bowed to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a G-20 meeting.

How quaint.

As with so much of the nightmare that is Donald Trump (who has curtsied to a Saudi king himself, it should be noted), today's unfathomable statement from the White House on the Jamal Khashoggi murder made us long for the days when the worst thing a President did was give an aging monarch a too-enthusiastic handshake. We cats HISS.

Business Model

By Sniffles

We cats are not atheists — because, ahem, we are gods, and we know it. But we've always scorned the evangelical community. Their narrow views of humanity, their intolerance and their money-grubbing hypocrisy all go directly against the teachings of Jesus. (We're sure we've missed something in that laundry list, but you get the idea.)

And there's probably nobody we despise as much as Donald Trump. He is so obviously a lout, a cheat and a misanthrope — one wonders how supposedly religious people can support him. Is it that important to them to control women by ending abortion? (Answer: Yes.)

But there's another reason that Bible bangers like Franklin Graham and Bryan Fischer adore Benedict Donald. They have so much in common.

Consider how Michelle Goldberg describes Trump in today's New York Times: "Donald Trump has failed at most things he's tried to do in life, with the crucial exception of selling himself as a success...as a self-marketer, Trump is peerless. He convinced people that he was a self-made tycoon despite receiving at least $413 million in today's dollars from his father, much of it...through legally dubious tax dodges. He was cast a paragon of business acumen on 'The Apprentice' when most banks refused to lend to him. And then, to America’s enduring disgrace, he was able to use his fictional reality-TV persona as a steppingstone to the White House."

Trump sells himself the same way evangelicals market the Lord. He and Graham, Fischer, Pat Robertson, Tony Perkins and all the other Jesus-y grifters are in the same business: swindling people. We cats (gods) look down from our lofty perches and HISS.

History's Knocking

By Hubie and Bertie

Mike Pence was all bent out of shape that celebrity "outsiders" like Oprah Winfrey and Will Ferrell campaigned door-to-door for Stacey Abrams in the Georgia gubernatorial race. "This ain't Hollywood," he mewled. "I’d like to remind Stacey and Oprah and Will, I’m kind of a big deal, too."

No, you're not, Mike. You're a very, very small deal. And your candidate in Georgia had to steal the election and suppress votes to win. Brian Kemp's legitimacy is in enough doubt now that his name will be synonymous with "Pyrrhic." (And incoming House Oversight and Government Relations Committee Chair Elijah Cummings is getting ready to investigate.)

Meanwhile, we have a question: Did Mike Pence knock doors for his chosen candidate? Because if Pence is such a "big deal," he should know that one of his predecessors as Vice President has done just that. Check out this story about Walter Mondale canvassing with Senator Max Baucus in Billings, Montana, 1978.

It sure would be great if the press would push back on these Trumpsters with, you know, actual political history. We cats HISS.

When "X" Means "Ex"

By Miss Kubelik

Here's a remarkable photo circulating on the Interwebs these days. It's a big celebration that Capitol Hill Republicans held at the White House with the sociopath who currently occupies the Oval Office. What were they all so happy about? Passing the House's version of the (ultimately failed) Obamacare repeal.

Now, before we explain the big red "X"s, recall for a second that nearly every idiot in Pundit World said that the Democrats' emphasis on healthcare in the run-up to the midterms was misguided.

You guessed it: Every Republican with a red "X" over his or her (mostly his) face in this photo was just defeated for re-election or quit.

We can't wait for that big red "X" in the middle! That will make us PURR and PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: A Script That Was Once Thought To Be Brilliant

By Baxter

This is not an entertainment blog, but we need to comment on the passing of screenwriter William Goldman.

His script for "All the President's Men" was superb. "The Princess Bride"? So good, it's inconceivable. His "Butch Cassidy," not so much.

We cats love both Paul Newman and Robert Redford. But nearly 50 years later, we find that Butch and Sundance don't wear very well. We think that "Slap Shot," another Paul Newman film, made just a few years later and written by Nancy Dowd, is more clever and interesting, and better stands the test of time. But we know that Hollywood has never rushed to lionize women, so — what else can we say? We cats switch our tails and look annoyed.

Slow Wave

By Zamboni

Can we all just agree that America had a blue wave on November 6?

One of the reasons we know is that crazy right wingers like Lou "Doddering" Dobbs are inventing wild stories about the outcome having been swayed by the votes of non-citizens. Gosh, when will somebody close the coffin lid on that guy?

But more important than Republicans making up fairy tales is the fact that House seats keep flipping. For example, Democrat Gil Cisneros has pulled in front in California's 39th district, and his lead is steadily growing. (The snowflake Republican is, as you'd imagine, squawking. Boy, they sure hate it when votes get counted, don't they?)

What looked like a respectable snag of the House on Election Night could become a game-changing triumph of 40 seats in the end. We like this. First, because it keeps the "Democrats win" story on the front page — second, because it's apparently driving Donald Trump crazy.

So the country might just be a little saner soon. We're about to hit the road to Canada in the snow, but in the meantime, we're savoring the notion of that slow-moving blue tsunami, washing over America. We cats PURR.

Packing Their Bags? Sounds Good To Us.

By Sniffles

Awhile back, the sociopath who currently occupies the Oval Office suggested that football players who were taking a knee against police brutality "maybe shouldn't be in the country." Funny — a heck of a lot of Republicans have been behaving far worse than that, and we haven't noticed Benedict Donald agitating to throw them out. Here are our latest nominees for that dubious prize.

Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds — She appeared with white supremacist Congressman Steve King at a pre-election rally, but has decided to scold him now for being a hater. Does her picture go in the dictionary under the entry for "hypocrite," or "coward"?

Log Cabin Republicans — They should book their plane tickets if they refuse to protest the consensus choice to succeed Steve Stivers as the next head of the Republican Congressional Campaign Committee, Tom Emmers. Yes, that Tom Emmers, the anti-gay Minnesota gubernatorial candidate whose campaign contribution from Target in 2010 caused us cats to shun the retailer ever since.

Mitch McConnell — He should be booted out forthwith for posting a photo of the "incoming class of Republican Senators," which included Florida's first Martian Governor, Rick Scott, whose election to the Senate is not yet a fact.

Donald Trump — Yep, we have to include him, and only partly because he'd be pissy about not winning his own "MYSBITC" prize. Today he said that voter fraud is rampant because people change their clothes and return to the polls to vote again. As observers we respect have pointed out, this could be a case of total derangement over venality. We cats think it's a bit of both. And we HISS.

Questions And Answers

By Hubie and Bertie

With Election 2018 in the rear-view mirror, a few questions are naturally popping up in people's minds. We cats are happy to list them. We also have some answers to suggest.

What's happening with Bob Mueller? Everyone said he'd wait to indict people after November 6 because he didn't want to sway the election. Here's our take: If the Special Counsel is about to haul some Trumpy knaves and fools off to the hoosegow, he wasn't going to do it while POTUS was overseas. (Some folks still observe that politics-ends-at-the-water's-edge rule.) Also, today being Veterans' Day, Mueller — unlike Trump — respects the fallen.

Where is that tax cut that Trump and the Republicans were "working on" and that we were supposed to get in a few weeks? Logical answer: Congress was out of session. Real answer: The midterms are over.

Why don't I hear about the "caravan" any more? See "midterms are over," above.

Why don't Republicans want to count all the votes in Florida and Georgia? Because they're liars, cheaters, haters and traitors. And because they think that only the votes of people who look like them matter. If the Founding Fathers could come back today and throw up over every member of the GOP, they would. Buckets and buckets.

I like that photo you've posted of four new Democratic members of Congress. But what is that strange sound I hear? Republican heads exploding. We cats PURR.

Has Kyrsten Clinched?

By Miss Kubelik

We cats follow Democratic Senator Brian Schatz of Hawaii on Twitter, and we're mighty glad we do. He's been making Baby Marco Rubio's life particularly miserable there lately, and he's always clever, succinct and amusing. Just yesterday he made us laugh with a joke about going to a Bruno Mars concert in the rain.

But he really hit the nail on the head on Friday, when he asked, "Look I’m still in Hawaii so maybe it feels different on the continent but do the R’s seem super panicky today?"

Yup. It's two days later, and things for the GOP have gotten even worse. We cats think you're looking at a photo of a US Senator here.

Kyrsten Sinema, the Democratic candidate in the race for Jeff Flake's seat, now has pulled ahead of Republican Martha McSally by 30,000+ votes. There are still more ballots to count, and they're mostly from blue areas. But you can really tell that the GOP has lost this one because of the way they're acting: throwing themselves on the floor like kicking, screaming toddlers, alleging voter fraud.

Pathetic. As Jon Favreau has said, "This would be a good time for all the Never Trump GOP strategists to tell their pals at the NRSC to knock this sh*t off. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the vote counting in Arizona."

Our paws are crossed, but it's looking increasingly likely that Brian Schatz will be able to call Sinema his fellow Senator soon. When that happens, we cats will PURR.

UPDATE, November 12: YES, Kyrsten has indeed clinched, and she will be Arizona's first woman in the Senate — not to mention the nation's first openly bisexual Senator ever. The world spins forward, and you can't stop it. We cats PURR again.

Refusing To Show Up At The American Cemetery In France Should Be An Impeachable Offense

By Baxter

When it comes to respecting the troops, and honoring Americans who gave their lives to defend freedom around the world, most Presidents aren't afraid of a little rain. Or a lot of it, actually.

Barack Obama never let a little weather stop him. Donald Trump, on the other hand, is the most despicable, miserable excuse for a human being ever to hold office. We cats HISS.

This... Is Malibu

By Zamboni

For those of us with fond memories of driving the Pacific Coast Highway, this viral photo puts a catch in your throat.

California is burning again — not just in Malibu but in Butte County, in the north. We're seeing disturbing reports about people and animals in peril and wonder how we're going to get to sleep tonight.

Meanwhile, our repulsive President is tweeting like a madman about self-serving crap that doesn't matter while he flies to Europe for an event at which he will be shunned for the embarrassment he is. Can things get any worse? We cats wonder, and we HISS.

Got To Admit It's Getting Better

By Sniffles

Sometimes you have to let a news story percolate for awhile before the fog starts clearing away. We're noticing that with the midterms. And things just keep improving.

As in, remember 2006? We Democrats took the House of Representatives in a big blue wave. Yes, a wave. We picked up 31 seats.

Today, Democrats have already captured that many House seats, and races keep getting called — for us! It looks now like we might edge up closer to 40. So, all that hand-wringing about how there was no wave this year? It was WRONG. Thank you.

It's pretty hard to be depressed when a right-wing GOP maniac like Karen Handel concedes defeat to plucky gun-violence survivor Lucy McBath in Newt Gingrich's old Georgia district. (Note to Kellyanne Conway: We're "laughing our Ossoff" backatcha, bitch.)

We'll also take the interesting news from Florida, that the races for Senate and Governor are headed for recounts. Just goes to show you that Democrats shouldn't allow their do-the-right-thing reflexes to kick in too early, and concede before they should. Andrew Gillum, please call up Al Gore for instructions on how to take a concession back.

And we're thrilled that Democrats gained not only seven governorships but also hundreds of state legislative seats. That's going to make a huge difference in 2020 and beyond, folks.

Finally — and maybe this is mean of us but we don't care — we think it's hilarious that Tucker Carlson is freaked out about protesters at his house. Do you think Tucker knows that Christine Blasey Ford is still getting death threats? Serves Tucker and all his fellow FOX "News" propadandists right. Or, as Corey Lewandowski would say, whomp-whomp. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Midterm Recap Edition

By Hubie and Bertie

Elections results (and possible recounts) are still coming in thick and fast, and political events in Washington have exploded anew — Constitutional crisis, here we come. But darn it, we cats are going to give you a round-up of our impressions from last night. Just try and stop us.

There was a lot of ugly stuff going on yesterday, and we don't just mean losing McCaskill, Heitcamp and Donnelly. (Nelson's waiting for the recount.) Nope, the Republicans' cheating and skullduggery, all in the name of voter suppression, were insidious and rampant — the story of the night. But we have a message for all those Democratic challengers who ran good races against entrenched or reprehensible incumbents and who came up short: Don't stop. Sometimes, as the GOP has shown time and again, it takes more than one run to flip a seat.

The 2018 midterms showed that any Democrat with 2020 ambitions must spend 2019 looking beyond the same old, tired Iowa-New Hampshire-South Carolina-Nevada contests — and focus on a run-everywhere strategy instead. Just sayin'.

We're going to send condolences to our Congresswoman, Republican Elise Stefanik. Not because she lost her race — she didn't — but because she's going to be mighty lonely in her caucus next year. Back in June, Elise was boasting about the female Republicans she was recruiting to run. But nearly 90 percent of the women elected to the House yesterday were Democrats. SAD!

Finally, on a more serious note: The gubernatorial results in Florida were a total bummer. Not just because Andrew Gillum was a terrific candidate and would have made a wonderful governor — and not just because it's inconceivable that Floridians, drowning in Red Tide, would continue voting Republican — but because it was so clearly a vote against Gillum as a black man. We admit it: We had no idea back in 2008 how much white resentment and fury had been unleashed by the election of Barack Obama. It's showing its ugly face now. We cats HISS.

For Your Voting Pleasure, More Randy Rainbow!

We cats cast ballot #1 in our town district this morning. Which definitely calls for a nap this afternoon. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

Roger Angell Is Not Dead (He Just Wants You To Vote)

By Miss Kubelik

Whew! We saw Roger Angell trending on Twitter and feared the worst. Instead, he's published a lovely essay in The New Yorker on the sanctity — and the urgency — of the vote. Here's a key excerpt to mull over as you head to the polls tomorrow:

"What we can all do at this moment is vote — get up, brush our teeth, go to the polling place, and get in line. I was never in combat as a soldier, but now I am. Those of you who haven’t quite been getting to your polling place lately, who want better candidates or a clearer system of making yourself heard, or who just aren’t in the habit, need to get it done this time around.

"If you stay home, count yourself among the hundreds of thousands now being disenfranchised by the relentless parade of restrictions that Republicans everywhere are imposing and enforcing. If you don’t vote, they have won, and you are a captive, one of their prizes."

Nervous? Join The Party!

By Baxter

First of all, it's okay to be nervous.

Why do you think we cats are so happy we're going to a concert tomorrow night? We bought the tickets ages ago without realizing the date — but since we're planning to vote first thing, we'll be happy to be distracted by a symphony orchestra while the midterm results rack up.

And it's also okay to be nervous because then you'll work extra hard to get out the vote. Complacency is bad. Let Republicans who listen to Donald "We're Doing Very Well" Trump be complacent.

And it's also okay to be nervous because we don't know what the Russians are doing. The reason we don't is that our current government refuses to defend the security of the United States. Amazing, isn't it? But with luck, tomorrow will be the first step on the road to running their traitorous butts out of office for good.

Finally, it's okay to be nervous because elections are always nervous-making. Even if you're feeling the tides are turning your way, it pays to be on your toes. And of course, to vote. We cats PURR.

More "Very Fine People"

By Zamboni

Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum had to step off the campaign trail this weekend to pay his respects to survivors of another senseless shooting — this time in Tallahassee, where Gillum, a Democrat, serves as mayor. Another armed jackass killed two women, wounded four others, and eventually shot himself (good riddance) at a local yoga studio.

How many people have noticed that the gunman sounds an awful lot like a Trumpster?

He had "uploaded a series of racist and misogynist videos to YouTube... [and] expressed sympathy with Elliot Rodger, who went on a misogynist killing rampage in Isla Vista, Calif., in 2014. He used a racial slur to describe black people and listed the reasons he despises them. [One video included] a section in which he called black women 'ugly and disgusting'... he called women who date black men 'whores,' spoke of an 'invasion' from Central America and ranted about women."

So, in the space of less than three weeks, we've seen more than a dozen pipe bombs mailed to Democrats by Trump lover, a synagogue massacre, two racially motivated murders at a Kroger, and now this. 

We sure hope this guy in Tallahassee didn't turn in an absentee last week. He would have been a sure vote for Rick Scott and Ron DeSantis. We cats HISS.

A Lie So Bad, It's Sick

By Sniffles

Republicans believe that Americans are stupid. Like, really dumb-ass stupid. Let's hope Tuesday doesn't prove them right.

We're fretting about this a bit because — just as Open Enrollment for the Affordable Care Act has begun — the GOP is lying, lying and lying some more about Obamacare. They're lying so much that clearly they believe (despite the Beltway punditheads' bored skepticism) that healthcare is the topic most on people's minds as they head to the polls.

Specifically, they're lying about pre-existing conditions — claiming they've fought, and will fight, to keep insurance companies from denying you coverage for same.

That's a pretty bold lie, the kind that will get these pious Republicans in a passel of trouble with Jesus. Because right now they're suing to end those very pre-existing protections. (That's on top of the dozens and dozens of times they've voted to repeal Obamacare entirely.)

We cats have never seen such mendacity. We can only keep our paws crossed that voters won't fall for it. If they don't, we will PURR.

Meanwhile, Outside The Saudi Embassy....

Will D.C. follow London's example? That would make us cats PURR.

This Is Our Country, And The Haters Can't Have It

By Hubie and Bertie

This morning we cats heard a revolting phrase uttered on cable TV: "Donald Trump's America."

Mind you, we weren't watching — one of our humans was. (He watches so we don't have to.) But we happened to be strolling past and, because our hearing is excellent, we caught the horrendous term. We immediately repaired to a favorite couch to hack up a hairball.

That's because "Donald Trump's America" does not exist.

If it does at all, it is a tiny sliver of ugliness that this country always seems to have harbored but which, until the last two years, had been successfully tamped down or, at least, kept out of the mainstream. It's made up of ill-educated, 50-plus-year-old white men who are bigoted and afraid, and the women they abuse. It is not America.

Nope, America is a place that welcomes everybody, allows them to seek their destiny, and which — over time, and often clumsily and too slowly — extends human and civil rights to more and more people. The America we know is the story of "Who's next?" It started with white, Christian, property-owning males and expanded to blacks, women, Latinos, Jews, Muslims, gays, et cetera. It will continue to expand. (As Tony Kushner says, the world only spins forward, and you can't stop it.)

The only question now is how badly our America will trounce "Donald Trump's America" in next Tuesday's election. We cats are keeping our paws crossed, and we PURR.