"Death To America"? More Like Death To The Planet.

By Baxter

We just want to say that if Iraqi protesters (or whoever they were) had stormed the US embassy in Baghdad while Obama, Clinton or Carter were President, the Republicans would be screaming not just to impeach but to draw and quarter. Because that's the way they are. Believe us, we know.

But on this New Year's Eve, we take a break from Trump-inspired Middle East chaos to return to the Land Down Under.

The fires that are ravaging Australia (and being ignored by the country's Conservative government) are so upsetting that we can barely think about anything else. We're clinging to stories about cyclists giving water to thirsty koalas and first responders rescuing scared possum mums and babies that they found hiding under cars. We're rooting for kangaroos who were videoed hopping en masse from the flames. We're trying not to dwell on estimates that half a billion animals have been killed.

And we're heartened by the fact that a TV host on New Year's Eve dedicated a song to hapless and evil Prime Minister Scott Morrison: "The Honeymoon Is Over." To all Australian voters: We leave Morrison's well-deserved comeuppance in your capable hands.

The 1959 film "On the Beach" portrayed Australia as the last bastion of civilization after global nuclear war. How ironic that the continent is now the harbinger of Earth's environmental doom. We cats hope that the silver lining in this very dark cloud is that Australia's Armageddon will wake people up to the threat that climate change poses to us all. Some very big changes are in store. Brace yourselves. Happy New Year.

Seeing Red

By Sniffles

Do you know Prime Minister Scott Morrison of Australia? Perhaps you don't keep up with political goings-on there. But you may recall that the coal-loving Morrison is a new best friend of Benedict Donald Trump, who feted him with a state dinner just this past September.

These days, though, it's pretty hard to ignore news from the Land Down Under. The country has literally been on fire. You also won't be surprised to hear that Morrison and his cronies are climate-change deniers — in fact, Morrison was on vacation in Hawaii during the crisis, and had to be shamed into returning, which he grudgingly did.

But things are getting worse. Tonight, 4,000 people are trapped on a beach in Mallacoota, on the south coast. With the flames bearing down on them, they've been told to plunge into the ocean if they have to.

You wonder: What it will take to get the Trumpsters and their fanboys like Morrison to change their tune on climate? Obviously, they don't have the balls to admit that a zillion scientists are right and they're wrong. They aren't manly enough to concede that 16-year-old Greta Thunberg has a point. Would the fiery deaths of 4,000 people do it?

We're not wishing such an awful fate on those folks. But since singed koalas and kangaroos haven't moved people to action, maybe Mallacoota will. We cats are disgusted and depressed, and we HISS.

(UPDATE #1: From the Australian edition of The Guardian: "People reported hearing gas bottles explode as the fire front reached [Mallacoota], and the sound of sirens telling people to get in the water.")

(UPDATE #2: "The power is cut. We are isolated. It's a holocaust, basically...There's a lot of thunder. The fires are creating their own weather.")

Let's Keep This Legend Living A Little Longer, Please

"I have been in some kind of fight — for freedom, equality, basic human rights — for nearly my entire life. I have never faced a fight quite like the one I have now.

"This month in a routine medical visit, and subsequent tests, doctors discovered stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This diagnosis has been reconfirmed.

"While I am clear-eyed about the prognosis, doctors have told me that recent medical advances have made this type of cancer treatable in many cases, that treatment options are no longer as debilitating as they once were, and that I have a fighting chance.

"So I have decided to do what I know to do, and do what I have always done: I am going to fight it and keep fighting for the Beloved Community. We still have many bridges to cross.

"To my constituents: Being your representative in Congress is the honor of a lifetime. I will return to Washington in coming days to continue our work and begin my treatment plan, which will occur over the next several weeks. I may miss a few votes during this period, but with God's grace I will be back on the front lines soon.

"Please keep me in your prayers as I begin this journey."

—Representative John Lewis (D-GA)

(PHOTO: Pete Souza)

He Was Off To See Walter. Why?

By Hubie and Bertie

Is it possible that representatives of the mainstream news media will ever write about people who are not Trumpsters? After all, there are so many more of us. We swear! Just look at Benedict Donald's disapproval ratings or the impeach-and-remove polls for proof.

But, sigh — apparently not. Once again, The New York Times has decided that a pathetic confab of 100 Trumpsters in Arizona is worthy of space in and on its pages. Is it because one or two of the MAGAts threatened violence if Benedict Donald is defeated in 2020? Tosh. Giving breathless coverage to every promise they make of a second Civil War just breathes more oxygen into their nuttiness.

One thing in the story got our attention, though: Their bluster about how many Trumpsters will vote once Benedict Donald is back on the ballot (as opposed to 2018 and 2019, when Democrats won). It makes you wonder: What if Trump is not the Republican candidate next year?

We're not predicting conviction in the Senate, although goodness knows anything could happen. We're questioning — since journalists appear to have forgotten — why Trump had to make that hasty visit to Walter Reed last month. Has he golfed since? We don't think so. Has he shown additional signs of dementia? Definitely yes.

The media never aggressively pursued Melania's alleged 2018 kidney condition. But then, she doesn't have the nuclear codes. So we hope somebody out there in Journalism World makes getting the truth about Trump's mental and physical health his or her mission. We Democrats would like to know whom we'll be facing next year. Meanwhile, we HISS.

Jerry Herman, 1931-2019

This is not an entertainment blog, but this sublime bit of musical theater has also come to have profound political meaning. We cats salute its composer, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Boxing Day/First Day Of Kwanzaa Edition

By Miss Kubelik

We cats refuse to hop onto any "end of the decade" bandwagon. It is not the end of a decade! And anyway, even if it were, who cares? Here are some other, far more worthy, thoughts that are occupying us between naps.

Speaking of ridiculous memes we want no part of, the alleged "war" between Baby Boomers and Millennials is as phony as the "war" on Christmas.

The only war we see right now is the one going on between evangelicals. It seems that the vastly immoral gangster and grifter known as Donald Trump is the hill that some so-called Christians have chosen to die on. Now, with the Christian Post set to go after Christianity Today for calling for Trump's impeachment and removal, the Post's politics editor is preparing to quit. It's amazing that Trump is any self-professed Christian's hero. Is controlling women's bodies really that important to them?

Perhaps you remember Paul Gosar, the bizarre nutjob Republican Congressman from Arizona whose own siblings campaigned against him? He appears to be vying for the Donald Trump Wackiest Twitter Rampages prize this week. On Christmas Eve, he tweeted (and retweeted) an endless clip of the Clintons' brush with a falling Klieg light on "60 Minutes" in 1992. Nobody's really sure what he's trying to say with that, although Chelsea Clinton had a snappy riposte. Now, he's bleating about lefties going after everyone's guns, which has gotten him on Fred Guttenberg's bad side. Our advice to Gosar: It's Christmas. Try not to hate just for a day.

Finally, take note of this: Lisa Murkowski of Alaska has put a tiny dent in Senate Republicans' wall of ignorant support for the now-impeached Donald Trump. While we disagree with Murkowski's assessment that the House should have waited for the courts to force Don McGahn and Mick Mulvaney to testify — they had more than enough evidence to proceed — let's give Murkowski the room she needs to influence other members of her party. Slamming her on social media won't help. She voted against Kavanaugh, remember. We cats PURR.

Values

By Zamboni

This Christmas, we cats are thinking about Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter. Mainly because we were just at a party at which the Carters were a prominent topic of discussion.

Our fellow party attendees said they admired the Carters because they truly lived their values. We agree. And we would hasten to point out: What public figures today do that? Can we name them?

Okay, we'll start: Nancy Pelosi. She was adamantly against impeachment for a whole bunch of really persuasive political reasons. Until the Ukraine revelations happened, and then it became clear that the House had to hold the President accountable in order to defend the Constitution. That was Jimmy-like, Rosalynn-like.

Meanwhile, we're convinced that the more people come to understand the teachings of Jesus, the more left-wing they become. Jesus was an agitator, a disrupter. He made people uncomfortable. His teachings are very difficult to follow. So perhaps tonight's message is: Don't try to dictate them to others. Explore them for yourselves. That's all we cats have to say this Christmas Eve. And we PURR.

Accentuating The Positive

By Baxter

The news is pretty dismal this holiday season, what with Benedict Donald, Congressional Republicans and climate change all getting worse by the hour. So to calm ourselves down, we've decided to do a gratitude exercise. Here are some of the the things we're grateful for this holiday.

The editor of Christianity Today has refused to take back his scathing editorial calling for Trump's impeachment and removal. Good. Now the National Review has jumped on the impeach-and-remove bandwagon, too. Who's next?

POLITICO's Morning Consult — the first national poll taken after the House vote — reported 52 percent of respondents in favor of impeachment and removal. Thank you, clear-thinking Americans. May more of our fellow citizens join you.

We're grateful to have Canada to escape to when we need it.

We appreciate journalists like Daniel Dale, who has the dedication (and the stomach) to track Benedict Donald's never-ending litany of lies and report on them. The latest: 45 ways Trump has been fibbing about Ukraine. Thank you, Daniel — we hope Santa brings you a lifetime supply of Tums.

Most of all, we're grateful that the Blue Wave swept across America in 2018, because it brought us a Democratic House, a boatload of great bills (that #MoscowMitch refuses to take action on), Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and impeachment. The Wave didn't just happen, of course — Democrats worked their butts off. So, rest up this holiday, everyone, because we're going to have to gear up and do it again in 2020. We cats PURR.

Spirits Of Christmas

"Business? Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business."

Charles Dickens may have lived and died 150 years ago, but he was outraged by a lot of things that, sadly, are still with us today. Like poverty. Tonight, we cats saw a woman rummaging in the garbage in the Montreal subway, and we gave her a toonie. It was a drop of water in the ocean, but it was all we could think of to do at the moment. So may God bless us, every one.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Friday Before Christmas Edition

By Sniffles

About mid-afternoon, we cats noticed that our email was slowing down. (With a couple of exceptions, of course. There are always exceptions.) Still, we have some political questions on our minds. So if you've adjourned to the nearest pub for the weekend and are reading this, here they are.

Former Senator Jeff Flake has published an op-ed in The Washington Post. "The President Is On Trial. So Are My Senate Republican Colleagues." JFC, do we care what Jeff Flake has to say? BIG no. Jeff, you were worthless when you were in office — voting for Kavanaugh and what-not — so you're even more worthless now. Go away.

There's a state representative in Washington State who, according to an independent investigation inspired by coverage from The Guardian, was engaged "in an act of domestic terrorism against the United States" — yep, you read that right — by planning armed conflicts against the government. Naturally, he's a Republican. We're trying to figure out why people like this run to serve in a government they clearly hate. Kinda makes you think all the accusations about "the deep state" are just more Trumpy projections.

Yes, we are very, very worried about the notion that the President of the United States is taking direction from Vladimir Putin.

We've probably visited a wine cave or two in our time, but haven't thought much about them — until last night. Now, we've decided that we want one. Santa, we hope you're listening.

Holy smokes — watch this video of Trump in an interview with Wolf Blitzer, praising Nancy Pelosi, and you will be amazed at his deterioration. Not just politically — mentally and verbally. Incredible.

Finally, in the category of Republicans Behaving Badly, let's give a special shout-out to former (and very bitter) GOP Governor Matt Bevin of Kentucky, who couldn't resist a final "fuck-you-out-the-door" pardoning of a bunch of murderers and decapitators.

Even Republicans were horrified (but what does that mean, in that pathetic party?). What revolts us most is that Bevin decided a child rapist was innocent because his nine-year-old victim's hymen was still intact. More proof that GOP men have no idea how women's and girls' bodies work. So why do Republican women still entrust their destinies to them? A question for the ages. We cats HISS.

"Cruelty Is Not Wit"

By Hubie and Bertie

By now everybody in the world knows that Benedict Donald was rude about John Dingell last night. That would be John Dingell who was the longest-serving member of Congress and still holds that record in death. Yep, he's dead — recently dead, in fact. You'd think that would put him off-limits for jokes. At least, for decent people.

You'd also think that it might be a mistake to josh boorishly about John Dingell while you're at a rally in Michigan, Dingell's home state. But as we said, only decent people would avoid doing that.

Representative Debbie Dingell, who succeeded her husband in Congress, tweeted a well-deserved rebuke to Trump last night.

"Mr. President, let’s set politics aside," she wrote. "My husband earned all his accolades after a lifetime of service. I’m preparing for the first holiday season without the man I love. You brought me down in a way you can never imagine and your hurtful words just made my healing much harder."

A few Republicans have criticized Trump for his bad behavior, but mostly those who aren't running for re-election, it seems. So once again, the GOP is a profile in cowardice.

When something like this happens — and with Benedict Donald, it happens a lot — we cats think of a famous retort that former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau once made. After he was told Richard Nixon had called him an "asshole," Trudeau responded, "I've been called worse things by better men."

John Dingell was a giant. Donald Trump is the littlest man on earth. We cats despise him, and we HISS.

Merry Impeachmas, And To All A Good Night

Here is Trump, photographed before leaving for his Battle Creek, Michigan, "show" tonight. Is this the picture of someone who feels on top of the world? We cats PURR.

Woman In Charge

By Miss Kubelik

Tonight is the first time in Benedict Donald's life that a woman has successfully bitch-slapped him. Doesn't it feel good?

The impeachment vote in the House wasn't close. The fact that a few Democrats peeled off on one article (and that the execrable Tulsi Gabbard voted "present" on both) is actually an argument for the strength of the charges, not their weakness.

The Speaker of the House allowed her caucus to vote their consciences — the only viable approach when it comes to preserving the Constitution — and the fact that a handful of our team felt able to do so is a great, great thing. (Tulsi, being Vladimir Putin's spoiler of choice, is exempted from this compliment.)

Meanwhile, after the votes the Republicans all left the floor and ran away. They canceled their press conference. That's what you do when you can't defend the person in question's behavior. Please, journalists, check the bars on Capitol Hill — what Republicans are there getting blasted? Must be a lot.

All we know is, the Constitution is our anchor. Those who choose to defend it are our heroes — like Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Elijah Cummings, and, most of all, Nancy Pelosi. None of the Democrats who fussed about replacing her after the 2018 blue wave could have handled this situation as brilliantly as Pelosi has. She is truly a she-coon. She makes us cats PURR.

Trump Sat Right Down And Wrote Himself A Letter

By Zamboni

The comments on social media are right-on tonight. "The Unabomber wrote better letters than this." "And he said Greta Thunberg had anger management issues?" "No one gets more upset than a narcissist who's being accused of something he actually did." "That letter was written by an insane person whose keepers should be ashamed of themselves."

That last one really resonated with us. We know from personal experience that letters from the President are gone over (and over and over and over) with a fine-toothed comb before they ever see the light of day. At least, that's how it used to work. Whoever on the White House staff allowed this piece of foolscap to go out needs to give his/her taxpayer-funded salary back. Several times.

But of course the main point about the letter is projection. Classic, classic case. With Benedict Donald, every accusation is a confession.

Are Senate Republicans just going to let this go by, too? Let's call their attention to the following Washington Post/ABC poll:

• 71% of Americans say that Trump aides (Mulvaney, Bolton, McGahn, et. al.) should testify at the Senate trial
• 55% say that the House proceedings have been fair (not a "coup")
• 49% say that Trump should be impeached and removed (versus 46% who say no)

And it's only the middle of December.

While we've noted that Willard Mitt Romney continues to serve as the GOP's leading profile in cowardice, he's not up for re-election next year. We wonder instead, then, what Cory Gardner, Richard Burr, Susan Collins, Martha McSally, Lisa Murkowski and Joni Ernst are thinking in their secret heart of hearts. When will enough be enough?

Benedict Donald brought this on a Republican Party that, quislings that they are, decided to embrace him in 2016 and try to ride the tiger. Will they stay silent until they're inside that tiger? Or will someone have guts enough to jump off? It could only take one. We cats HISS.

Buckling To Holiday Hate

By Baxter

When we cats learned that people were boycotting the Hallmark Channel, we thought, too late. Way ahead of you.

Why would anyone watch that sanitized, too-neat, and — worst of all — incredibly boring programming? We don't, and surely nobody else is.

Well, we stand corrected. It appears that 85 million people are tuning in to the channel's "Countdown to Christmas" movie marathon. Goodness gracious. That's a lot of potential boycotters.

So the uproar when Hallmark scrapped four commercials that showed two women kissing at the altar was a serious thing. After four days of boycott-inspired hashtags and corporate "agonizing," the channel reversed its decision.

This is good news, but also frustrating in its stupidity. The whole kerfuffle could have been avoided if Hallmark had not chosen to knee-jerk-react to a pissy petition from One Million Moms, a right-wing group that fights "filth" in entertainment. Yep, the ecstatic couple pictured above is the very essence of that, all right.

Actually, One Million Moms is a hate group, in our humble opinion. They openly campaign against all LGBT content, thinking that gay people will just go away if nobody sees them.

Therefore, even though we wouldn't be caught dead tuning in an insipid Hallmark Christmas movie or anything else on that channel, we applaud their decision to put the ads back on — and hope that from now on, they'll fill the airwaves with a boatload of feel-good gay films. That would make us PURR.

And Now For A Change Of Pace

Quite a few major deaths in the entertainment world this year. Sometimes, we cats suspect that Turner Classic Movies puts the person they think is the most important at the end. Watch and see if you agree. In that spirit, we'd like someone to do a political version of "TCM Remembers" and end it with Elijah Cummings. Gosh, we miss him.

Remembering Sandy Hook

Here are the lives that were lost so that the NRA can keep members of Congress in its pocket. We cats HISS.

We Think That We Will Never See

By Sniffles

We cats have trekked north to Canada for the lead-up to the holidays. We have a wonderful, full-sized Christmas tree at home (or, as some would call it, a giant cat toy). But for our stay in Montreal, there's nothing better than a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

It takes one minute to set up, parks very nicely on a coffee table, and still asks its owners for a little bit of love.

In these awful political times, it's comforting to remember things like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" — the music, the sentiment and, of course, the tree. We cats PURR.

Valorous Val

By Hubie and Bertie

Congresswoman Val Demings of Florida has called upon #MoscowMitch McConnell to recuse himself from Benedict Donald's Senate impeachment trial, and rightly so.

After McConnell told FOX "News" that he was coordinating the trial with the White House, Demings came out with guns blazing.

"No court in the country would allow a member of the jury to also serve as the accused’s defense attorney. The moment Senator McConnell takes the oath of impartiality required by the Constitution, he will be in violation of that oath," Demings said.

Let's just say two things: One, that we would not want to be in any kind of a tussle with Val Demings, because we'd be on the losing side. Two, that anyone who says the outcome of this whole impeachment drama is already foretold needs to take it back. Nobody knows what tomorrow may bring. We cats PURR.

"Dignity, Always Dignity"

By Miss Kubelik

If you're feeling politically exhausted (and who isn't?), we don't blame you. We're experiencing a touch of it ourselves.

The President of the United States is harassing a 16-year-old girl on Twitter. (#BeBest?) DUI dude Matt Gaetz goes after Hunter Biden on substance abuse. (Thankfully, Democratic Congressman Hank Johnson of Georgia gave him his comeuppance.) Fat Mike Huckabee is claiming that Trump will be eligible to run against in 2024. (Sorry, nope.) And we haven't even mentioned Bill Barr yet.

Meanwhile, the UK is voting. Something about "Berxit" (see above). Loathing Boris Johnson as we do, and feeling not much more positive about Jeremy Corbyn, we're not into it. So we've decided to focus on stupid typos instead.

Actually, there is one more thing, and it's a picker-upper: Dogs at the voting stations. Apparently it's a tradition for Britons to have their pooches come to the polls. Which is cute. We admit we'd rather see folks bring their felines — but if it's a choice between "Berxit" and Bowser, we'll take Bowser. We cats PURR.

She Going To Have A Statue Someday

This brilliant photograph by Pete Marovich of The New York Times manages to simultaneously depict how, since the founding of our nation, our Constitution has become more inclusive, our Congress more representative — and how much Nancy Pelosi rocks. We cats PURR.

Somebody's Gonna Be Mad

Our only regret is that they didn't pick Nancy Pelosi. Still, this is pretty swell. We cats PURR.

"Something Is Very Wrong"

We cats haven't endorsed a Democrat in the 2020 race yet, but with Russia's foreign minister in the Oval Office today, the situation feels urgent. This ad continues to say it well.

Suggestions For Normalcy

By Zamboni

Recently we cats opined that the election of 2020 would be a throwback to 1920 in one respect: After years of Benedict Donald's grifting, his indignities against the office and his abuse of both power and people, voters will be dying for a Return to Normalcy.

Democrats will benefit from this yearning, provided we nominate the right candidate. (By that we mean, not Marianne Williamson.) One of the reasons we think Joe Biden is formidable is because personality-wise, he represents goodness, decency and the politics of joy.

So it's surprising that Biden (or any other Democrat) hasn't yet issued a list of "get back to normal" pledges. To fill the vacuum, therefore, we've come up with a few ourselves. Try these on for size:

• Real serious stuff first: The United States will immediately re-enter the Paris Climate Accord.
• The White House Press Secretary will be a competent person who has never been arrested for DUI and who will hold press briefings at least four days a week.
• No violations the Hatch Act. As in, no shilling for fashion accessories, etc., on the White House lawn.
• No tweeting. Ever.
• The President will sit back in his/her chair like a normal person, not perched on the edge like a toilet. 
• All Cabinet and other Senate-confirmed positions will be real people, not "acting."
• Everybody is going to treat everybody else with respect.
• Holiday decorations in the Executive Mansion will be merry merry and happy happy — not something out of a haunted house.
• The President will attend the Kennedy Center Honors again.
• The Presidential Records Act shall not be flouted. No more illicit document storage on secret servers. No yammering with world leaders on unsecured phones.
• There will be complete transparency on the President's physical and mental health. And the First Spouse's, come to think of it.
• The First Family shall have a pet. Preferably a cat (but dog OK).
• No evangelical nutcases on the public payroll.
• Red baseball caps verboten (except at Nationals Park).

And of course, all those horrible policies, judges, executive orders, etc. that this awful Administration has committed will be reversed. There's just no room to record them all here.

This is the list for now — take it and run with it, Democrats. We cats reserve the right to add to it, and we PURR.

Caged

By Baxter

Benedict Donald brought two US soldiers who had been convicted of war crimes — and whom he had pardoned — to a closed-door Republican fundraiser in Florida yesterday.

It makes perfect sense: Trump and the GOP are guilty of crimes against humanity at our southern border, so why shouldn't Trump parade a couple of budding Slobodan Milosevics at his event? We're sure they helped him raise a ton of money.

But the detentions and family separations that this godawful Administration continues to commit against refugees and migrants have not gone unnoticed this holiday season. Check out this nativity scene outside the United Methodist Church of Claremont, California.

"Shortly after the birth of Jesus," wrote senior minister Karen Clark Ristine, "Joseph and Mary were forced to flee with their young son from Nazareth to Egypt to escape King Herod, a tyrant....What if this family sought refuge in our country today?"

Another nativity is inside — minus the cages. Every single damn church in America should have displays like this. That is, if churches practiced what they preach. We cats HISS.

Wanted: One Intervention

By Sniffles

We cats have detected a shift in tone among the never-Trumper former Republican commentators like Jennifer Rubin, Max Boot, Ana Navarro and Rick Wilson. Where they were previously exasperated by the Republican Party's willingness to hop aboard the Benedict Donald Express for its own cynical ends, the Rubins, Boots, Navarros and Wilsons of the world have noticed that Republicans are now turning a blind eye not just to impeachable offenses but to mental decline.

And it's reaching new crescendos with Toilet Gate. (Sorry, we're fresh out of creative names for this one.)

It's long been apparent that Trump doesn't understand climate change — he constantly speaks of it in terms of clean air, clean water. We long assumed that it was A). his natural resistance to learning, B). laziness, and/or C). an attempt to deflect the argument. But after yesterday's bizarre comments about toilet flushing, it's clear: He not only is clueless about environmental issues. He's in the throes of full-blown dementia.

One wonders what the small business owners at the table with him were thinking as he went on and on about the inability to wash one's hands with low water pressure, or to adequately flush with high-efficiency johns. To be sure, his general toilet experience is a gold-plated one, and we have no idea whether such pissoirs are environmentally friendly or not. But this latest rambling was off the charts.

The question remains whether Trump will actually be at the top of the Republican ticket next year. Impeachment is looming, more evidence is being uncovered, and at some point the GOP may decide that the tipping point is close enough that they'll have to give him the heave-ho. We're not kidding ourselves that this is a given, but let's put it this way: It's possible. For now, however, Republicans seem to be content with having a nutcase in charge of the nuclear football. We cats HISS.

(UPDATE: Benedict Donald, in his own words today: "Right now in a number of states the laws allow a baby to be born from his or her mother's womb in the ninth month. It is wrong. It has to change." We rest our case.)

Lest We Furr-get: Ecole Polytechnique

By Hubie and Bertie

Thirty years ago today, a jackass whom we now would call an incel stormed the Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal and gunned down 14 victims, all women. In one classroom, he separated the men from the women before he opened fire. He screamed that they were all feminists and deserved to die. He killed himself before police could capture him.

It's a sobering reminder that other countries besides the United States have had horrible experiences with gun violence. But we still have the corner on mass shootings, don't we?

In her town hall on CNN last night, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi caught our attention with a vile statistic. The Democratic House has passed and sent to Mitch McConnell's desk 400 bills, none of which the Senate has taken action on. Two are companion bills on sensible gun regulation. Since their passage in the House, the Speaker said, 25,000 Americans have died in gun violence.

That is stunning. Yes, the massacre at Ecole Polytechnique continues to be a nightmarish memory for Canada. But that's 24,986 fewer gun victims than the US has had just since February. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: From the Montreal Gazette. This victim survived.)

Fightin' Dems

By Miss Kubelik

Today both Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden got mad, and we cats loved it.

Pelosi smacked down a "journalist" from Sinclair Broadcasting who asked her if she "hated" Donald Trump. Biden told an Iowa voter — an old, white-guy farmer who you just know voted for Trump — a "damn liar" after the man accused him of selling access to President Obama.

Good for both of them.

First, Pelosi: That dude from right-wing Sinclair may have to kick himself for giving the Speaker of the House such a golden moment to instruct the American people on impeachment. Did he really think that if he repeated a Republican talking point, she wouldn't be able to knock it out of the park? This is what happens when ignorant ideologues masquerading as reporters posture for "big moments" instead of asking serious questions.

As for Joe, we say three cheers for not putting up with any, um, malarkey. Maybe four cheers. We remember how we cringed back in 2004 when our nominee John Kerry said he wasn't going to push back on the Swift Boat smears. The three-time Purple Heart winner didn't know you have to put up a fight? You have to make the bullies back down.

This morning, Kerry endorsed Biden for 2020. If Kerry had fought the Swift Boat lies in '04 like he should have, he could have made today's endorsement as a former President. But — aarrrggghhhh. We cats HISS.

P.S. We love Biden's new ad about Laughingstock Trump. We cats PURR.

National Mood

By Zamboni

The 300-page report from the House Intelligence Committee is out, and it's a comprehensive summary of Benedict Donald's perfidy: abuse of power, obstruction of Congress, endangering national security for his own political benefit, just to name a few. Any Presidential scholar would testify that this is pretty stunning stuff.

Americans should be flipping out. However, our country is big, rich and powerful enough that people can afford not to think about, care about or participate in government if they don't feel like it. It's not what the founders envisioned — they said our democracy needed to rest upon an informed, participatory citizenry — but unless our system is in dire peril, the nation's ho-hum approach (with civil servants, activists and political junkies filling in the gaps) has worked pretty okay so far.

Well, welcome to dire peril. It's all there in the impeachment report.

Will voters read it, or at least skim it, and understand? Will they take their concerns about abuse of power with them into the voting booths next year? It's hard to tell. Trump's treason is beyond Watergate, and these are different times from 1974. One thing we can predict, though, is that 2020 will resemble 1920 in a singular way.

One hundred years ago, America had survived the double whammies of World War I and the 1918 flu epidemic. People longed for life to just calm down again. As it turned out, the victorious Presidential candidate in 1920 promised "a return to normalcy." We think that in 2020, Americans will be motivated by similar longings.

They may not know a lot about government or impeachment or the balance of power or corruption. But surely they're sick and tired of Trump and his antics. Today's events at the NATO summit are more fuel for that fire: Benedict Donald is so boorish and offensive that our allies' leaders laugh at him behind his back and, when he finds out, he childishly cancels a presser and leaves early.

Even if you're not a political animal, Trump's behavior seeps down into your consciousness. The ignorance, the insults, the lies, the meandering sentences, the mock-orgasms, the terrible management, the badly fitting tuxedos, the creepy Christmas decorations — it all becomes too much to bear. Americans will certainly go to the polls next November with the words of Elijah Cummings ringing in their ears: "We've got to get back to normal!" We cats PURR.

Kamala Drops The Mic

via GIPHY

By Baxter

Two American women, both elected officials, fired off memorable tweets today.

One was a snappy comeback that brought wry grins to the faces of her disappointed supporters. The other was disgusting racist snark.

We'll start with the second, because we want to end this post on a high note. With Senator Kamala Harris dropping out of the Presidential race, tweeps were busy discussing how the next Democratic debate will have no people of color on the stage. Then Republican Congresswoman Liz Cheney beamed in with a beaut: "You forgot Pocahontas."

It took us about one second to report Cheney for abuse. Let's hope zillions of others do, too, and that the bitch gets her account suspended forever.

Senator Harris, however, had the last, best word.

After Benedict Donald — who should be too busy over in Europe to be tweeting — heard the news about Harris and quipped, "Too bad! We'll miss you, Kamala," the Senator shot back with this:

"Don't worry, Mr. President. I'll see you at your trial."

It's at nearly 300,000 likes as of now, and climbing every second. We cats PURR.

Front Page News

By Sniffles

If you've never attended a Benedict Donald "rally" (we prefer to call them "shows"), chances are good that you have no idea who this woman is. She would probably prefer that. But thanks to Trump and his cult followers, Lisa Page's professional life at the FBI, and her personal life as well, have been turned upside down.

You can get the whole story here, (it involves a lot of perfidy from DOJ, Rod Rosenstein and a worthless Trump cretin by the name of Sarah Isgur Flores) but here's the short version: After two-plus years of silence, former FBI counsel Page has finally decided to speak out because Trump mocked her with a fake orgasm at a show in October.

We've long tried to figure out why Benedict Donald is so obsessed with Page and her former FBI colleague (and inamorato) Peter Strzok. It's not like they're anybody. Despite Trumpster paranoia about the "deep state," their texts to one another are underwhelming — and they've been officially cleared of any bias. Maybe the real targets were bigger fish, and they were just unlucky enough to get in the line of fire?

As with everything Trump, it's unclear and confusing. At least, it was — until we saw Page's picture.

Trump wants to have sex with her. If he were still "Apprentice" host Donald Trump — sitting next to her on a plane, enticing her into a Bergdorf's dressing room, standing in an elevator or waiting backstage at "The Late Show with David Letterman" — he'd attack her instantly. But now he can't. He's in that big white prison at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, with a lock on his bedroom door and Melania on a separate floor. So he can only rail against Page and Strzok (whom he obviously, bitterly envies) on Twitter and at his shows.

It all makes us want to throw up. Will we ever have a President who isn't disgusting? We cats HISS.

Royal (And Non-Royal) Rumors

By Hubie and Bertie

Okay, we admit it: We bit. We beamed into Twitter for a quick Sunday-evening look and saw that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was trending. The rumor was she had checked out.

Whut? The only British monarch zillions of people have known is dead? Prince Charles is King? Canadian money just got uglier? We did a frantic search on the Google machine.

Turns out it's not true. It's not clear who started the rumor or why, but apparently Her Majesty is alive and well, and maybe onto her third gin and tonic by now.

Elizabeth is well-known for her stamina. She's got the genes (her mum lived to 101). On this side of the Atlantic, however, Benedict Donald can't say the same.

Not only is impeachment looming, but questions still swirl around Trump's hasty visit to Walter Reed a couple of weeks ago — on top of red flags raised by Anonymous in his/her behind-the-scenes-in-Trump-World book, A Warning. Trump's physical and, especially, mental health are wobbly, Anonymous says.

"He stumbles, slurs, gets confused, is easily irritated, and has trouble synthesizing information, not occasionally but with regularity...the President also can't remember what he's said or been told."

Syphilitic dementia? Emerging damage from years of Adderall abuse? Who knows? But don't forget, Trump is the same guy who slammed Hillary for having pneumonia and who said she was physically unfit to be President. So God save the Queen! We cats PURR.