A Thought As We Move Into 2024

Looks like we'll have to rely on Black women to save America again, because the rest of us are a bunch of unreliable hand-wringers. But as Isaiah says, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Let's get working, folks. We cats PURR.

New Year's Resolution: Don't Let The Republicans Get Away With Their Crap

By Sniffles

As we get ready to knock another year off the kitchen counter, let's resolve to always call out Republicans when they start vomiting up nonsense. Which is what they do all the time.

Yes, it will be exhausting. Yes, it's because they must project their own sins onto Democrats in order to fool voters in the 2024 election. No, it will not work — as long as we keep telling the world that they're liars, because we can't rely on the media to do it without our saying so in the first place. (Apparently, investigative journalism has died.)

The latest example from our neck of the woods is the brouhaha the GOP is trying to gin up over Chick-fil-A and New York highway rest stops. There's a fight going on to make the right-wing, antigay franchise, which has restaurants at several stops on the New York Thruway, open on Sundays, which the company famously does not do.

We don't give a full litter box about Chick-fil-A's supposed piety in allowing their employees to worship on Sundays. What about the many Thruway travelers who don't observe the Christian Sabbath? More to the point, why can't Chick-fil-A hire non-Christians to work their restaurants and serve hungry travelers that day?

So we cats have written our New York State Assemblywoman, Carrie Woerner, to tell her exactly that. We didn't mention that we've never eaten at a Chick-fil-A, and never will. Our larger point is this: Don't sign up to open food franchises on the Thruway if you can't abide by the rules — and those rules say, you must be open on Sundays.

Lindsey Graham has sashayed across the sets of Fox "News" to scream about Chick-fil-A and claim anti-Christian bias by the state of New York. Which is utter claptrap. Someday, we'd like to know what it is that the Russians have on Lindsey to turn him into such a Trumpy jackass. In the meantime, let's call him out. We cats HISS.

Is This Bad? It Seems Bad.

By Hubie and Bertie

When George Conway tweeted a few hours ago, "Is a fourth quarter really necessary here," there was no need to ask what he was talking about — even among us non-football fans.

That's because Florida pooh-bahs — Republicans all — have been making fools of themselves lately, suing the NCAA over Florida State's "wrongful exclusion" from this year's playoffs, and using taxpayer money to do it. Really? Is Florida so free of other problems right now that they can devote precious state resources to a sports thing? They have no insurance crisis, no global warming, no lack of affordable housing? Good to know they're in such great shape!

And now, at tonight's Orange Bowl, those bleating GOP masters of faux outrage got their just deserts: Florida State fell to the University of Georgia Bulldogs by the jaw-dropping score of 63 to 3.

We have no idea if this wipeout has any bearing on the validity of Florida State's playoff exclusion, and we don't really care. It's just a marvelous face-washing for the Ron DeSantises, Rick Scotts, Ashley Moodys and Marco Rubios of the world. We cats PURR.

Is This Real?

We're still waiting to find out if this alleged post by Lauren Boebert is a parody. Which it might be. But as long as it's hard to tell, we cats have decided to HISS and PURR at the same time.

Haley's Comment

By Miss Kubelik

Is Nikki Haley crashing and burning? It's still up in the air how, or whether, her moronic response to a fifth-grade Civil War question will damage her. She's certainly been savaged today by everyone we've seen on social media and in the press — but few if any of those people are Republican primary voters. And any candidate who hopes to peel away supporters from Benedict Donald will surely have to seduce a healthy chunk of the GOP Stupid.

However, as it happened, Haley stumbled in New Hampshire, a state with a quirky electorate that's unrepresentative of today's currently Trumpy Republican Party. And New Hampshire also allows registered independents to participate in either party's primary. Those are folks who might look at what happened yesterday and decide that ol' Nikki just isn't very smart.

Ron DeSantis doesn't seem quite as poised to pick up moderate and independent votes from Haley as perhaps Chris Christie is. So here's some quick advice for Christie: Remind Granite State voters that although New Hampshire was far from the major battles of the Civil War, it still sent 31,657 soldiers and 836 officers to fight, and that 20 percent of those men did not come home.

Haley's offensively flip "What do you want me to say about slavery?" response indicated a lack of empathy if nothing else. Christie could demonstrate that he understands the sacrifices that 19th-century New Hampshirites made to help eradicate America's original sin. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Michelle, Five Years On

By Zamboni

Rereading Michelle Wolf's brilliant monologue at the 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner is an eye-popping experience. Not just because of everything that's happened since (Roe v. Wade overturned, Biden elected, January 6, Mike Pence), but because her closing remarks are still so spot-on.

"You guys are obsessed with Trump," she said. "Did you used to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. 

"I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you."

Beltway journos were highly offended. So offended, in fact, that they're defiantly still doing what Wolf accused them of. They still love Donald Trump, covering him incessantly, portraying him in many cases as a normal candidate, allowing themselves to be distracted by dictator talk and more. They do it for eyeballs, likes and clicks — and to keep their Republican sources happy because they're perennially spooked about being labeled "the liberal media." It's sickening.

Yes, paying attention to any four-time-indicted, 91-felony-count-carrying politician who talks about retribution and vengeance if he gets back into power is important. But to be honest, his shtick long ago wore thin. We've had enough of him, and only parcel him out to ourselves in little pieces in order to keep up. We'll skim the headlines and maybe the first paragraphs in The New York Times and Washington Post, and then turn away. When the cable-news chyrons scream "Trump, Trump, Trump," the TV goes off. Deny him the attention he wants, refuse to watch the ads that pay for the drivel broadcast by CNN and MSNBC.

It's the only path for sanity on the eve of what's promising to be a crazy political year. But ironically, it's dawned on us that here we are, posting about him. Sigh. We cats HISS.

Keeping Christmas Well

Our Jimmy Carter peanut ornament celebrates the Carters' years of service to the United States and the world. Together, for decades, they worked hard to make the lives of others better. "May that be truly said of us, and all of us." We cats salute them, and we PURR.

Woodymania

By Baxter

In the category of You Learn Something New Every Day, this was the year that we discovered Canada's own Woody the Talking Christmas Tree. Which means that 2023 was very good.

Every holiday season, Woody presides over a mall in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia — and his gig is to creep out adults, frighten small children, and make a lot of eye-rolling, tree-related puns. (There is a guy inside him who voices his comments in real time. Yep, his lips move.) Woody also accepts offerings of Cinnabons from intimidated shoppers. He's been around since 1980 — with a 15-year hiatus, during which he got revamped to a more benign face (he used to be uglier). We think he's still a bit off-putting. But you can't beat his Twitter account.

Woody's last day at the mall, apparently, is Christmas Eve. Surprising that he doesn't hang around for Boxing Day. But it was clear today was the end when he tweeted this. Have a tree-mendous Christmas, everybody. We cats PURR.

"'Twas the night before Xmas

And all through the mall

Not a retail employee was stirring

A shout out to all!

Me, all punned out, and Santa icing his lap

Just settled down to a Cinnabon snack

Back to the North Pole

It’s okay, I’m alright

Merry Creepymas to all

To all a good night."

A Cat's Work Is Never Done

POTUS says that Willow Biden is the Official White House Ornament Inspector. Knowing she's on the job makes us PURR.

Let The Holidays Begin

By Sniffles

 

The Supreme Court won't fast-track Benedict Donald's immunity case. But don't fret — there are plenty of glad tidings today. Ron DeSantis's expensive ground game in Iowa is sucking big-time, there's another Ziegler gay sex video, and Wisconsin Republicans have been ordered to redraw their gerrymandered legislative maps. And at 2 pm our email slowed to a trickle. Christmastime is here, right? After celebrations at a fabulous small French restaurant in Montreal, it's back to the land of E Pluribus Unum tomorrow. We cats PURR.

Hear It From Jocelyn

Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson posted this after news broke that a phone call by Benedict Donald and Ronna Romney to two 2020 Michigan electors, pressuring them not to certify Biden's win, had been recorded. (And it seems prosecutors have it. Film at eleven.) Benson's comments are probably the most helpful in filling in the backstory.

Also, buckle up: There is so much Trump crap that we don't know yet, but will know — and it'll blow our minds when we do. We cats HISS.

"Tonight feels like a good time to tell you all that, for me, the absolute lowest moment in the post-election battle we endured to protect Michigan's accurate and legitimate election results in 2020 was not when armed protesters stormed my home. It was the night of the Wayne County Board of Canvassers meeting. 

"I distinctly remember coming home that evening feeling completely defeated. We knew about the pressure not to certify (though until tonight I did not know about the recording). We were prepared to go to court to successfully ensure certification at the local and state level — and we were confident we'd win in court. But blocking certification in Wayne County and pushing this to the courts would still delay and create enough doubt and uncertainty to enable the Trump campaign to push Pennsylvania, which was certifying the next week, to delay as well. And we knew other dominoes would fall after that. 

"How could we overcome the pressure of the then-President of the United States on local and state officials? Were the facts and law not enough? Well, then, something I’ll never forget happened.

"Hundreds — hundreds (!) — of citizens showed up to the meeting of the Wayne County Canvassing Board to remind them of their duty under the law to ensure their votes counted. Their voices mattered. Their votes mattered. In my view, that turned the tide. Citizens and election officials in Wayne County and statewide didn’t flinch, stood firm, and demanded their votes be certified as required under the law. And in the end, the Wayne County Canvassing Board fulfilled their legal duty, followed the law, and certified the election.

"What started as the lowest moment of the post-election melee became the most inspiring. The voters won. Facts and the rule of law carried the day. Democracy prevailed."

Willow In The White House

Did you really think we weren't going to post this? Please. And can we look like Jill Biden when we're 72 years old? We cats PURR.

Rocky Mountain Bye

By Hubie and Bertie

Big decision last night by the Colorado Supreme Court to keep Benedict Donald off the 2024 Republican primary ballot. Political punditheads and legal scholars were consumed today with What It All Meant. We cats aren't Constitutional experts — but we think the 14th Amendment is pretty clear. So do a lot of conservative dudes.

Meanwhile, Republicans are rushing to Trump's defense, even though it's been suggested that the Colorado decision, surely moving to the US Supreme Court, gives them an off-ramp from Donaldmania. In reality, though, there is no off-ramp. The party base will bolt if they don't keep compromising their principles, so implosion, here we come.

Republicans' arguments for Trump are hilarious, and devoid of all logic. Courts shouldn't be deciding questions like this, they bleat — but they were perfectly happy to accept the 5-4 SCOTUS decision in Bush v. Gore in 2000. And if "that decision should be made at the ballot box," well, why they have rejected the obvious will of 81 million Americans in 2020, when Biden received seven million more votes than Trump? Never mind the fact that none of this would be happening if Republican Senators had simply taken the opportunity to convict Donald in his second impeachment trial in 2021, and forbidden him future office.

The GOP and the MAGAts have rejected all avenues and all solutions. What the MAGAts really want is a dictatorship, and the Republican establishment is too cowed not to go along. It's just going to be up to us to crush Trump again in 2024 — whether he's the Republican nominee or running as a third-party spoiler. (And in the latter case, we need to crush whoever is the hapless compromise nominee the GOP ends up picking, too.) So check your voter registrations, folks, and start gearing up — we've got work to do. American democracy is better than all these traitorous louts. We cats PURR.

Benediction And Bagels

By Miss Kubelik

Somehow, the world keeps spinning forward: Pope Francis gave approval today to priestly blessings of same-sex couples. It's a baby step for the Vatican — they're far from an actual endorsement of marriage equality — but who cares? If it's heresy to right wingers, we're here for it.

There was no seismic reaction to Frankie's proclamation here in Quebec, since the province pretty much gave the Church its walking papers during the Quiet Revolution. But Catholic influences are everywhere in Montreal, and the holiday season often inspires folks here to pause and consider the lives of the saints. Here's one without whom life would be a lot less delicious. (Click here.) We cats PURR.

Decisions, Decisions

By Zamboni

Lots of chatter today about two CBS News polls of Republicans in Iowa and New Hampshire. In Iowa, which holds its Republican caucus on January 15, Donald Trump is at 58 percent, followed by Ron DeSantis at 22, Nikki Haley at 13, and the rest of the gang under 10.

The 2024 New Hampshire primary follows a week later, on January 23. At the moment, Trump is at 44 percent, with Haley at 29, DeSantis at 11, and everybody else, as in New Hampshire, under 10. (Asa Hutchinson has about 1 percent. Way to go, Asa!)

Both states assign delegates according to proportional representation. In Iowa, there's no minimum percentage for a candidate to win delegates — so if Asa Hutchinson pulls in his 1 percent, he gets somebody! But in New Hampshire, you have to meet a threshold of 10 percent. (Could be tough news for Vivek Ramacrazypants.)

The chatterers are choosing to make the news all about Haley, although it's not the only big political story today: DeSantis has gotten some additional campaign turmoil with another high-level PAC resignation. (And a heckler. What fun!) But reviewing the numbers, what does Benedict Donald do? There are a few possibilities.

Assuming the CBS poll is correct, Trump will take a decisive win in Iowa and brand anybody who doesn't out-and-out beat him as a "loser." That's predictable enough.

But what about New Hampshire? Does Trump look at a 15-point margin over Haley and decide to let it alone, in the assumption that her second place serves him by finally finishing off DeSantis? Or does he start attacking Haley more than he already has? (Example: "Birdbrain doesn’t have the TALENT or TEMPERAMENT to do the job," he posted after the second Presidential debate.)

New Hampshire is a quirky state, so Donald might want to be a little careful. But we're sure he's not worried. After Iowa and New Hampshire comes the Nevada primary/caucus, which he's nicely rigged for himself. Ever wonder why he says Democrats rig stuff? Because he does it himself. Every accusation is a confession, and we cats HISS.

Is There A Problem?

We heard rumors that MAGAts were upset about this Nutcracker dance routine at the White House — um, who cares? — but having watched it, we're puzzled. Eventually, we decided it was either racism, or hatred of the Bidens, or both. How could anyone hate great tap dancing, right? We cats love it, and we PURR.

Them's The Rules

By Baxter

The Michigan Court of Appeals has ruled that Benedict Donald can stay on the state's Republican primary ballot, despite the insurrection clause of the 14th Amendment. (It doesn't rule out a challenge to Trump on the general election ballot, though, so film at eleven on that.)

A lot of left-leaning tweeps were dismayed by this decision, but we cats were okay with it. Several reasons.

First, interpretations of the 14th Amendment are pretty much all over the map right now. We are not legal beagles (beagles are dogs, after all), but we suspect that no definitive action on 14 will take place unless and until Jack Smith wins his January 6 case. Do we think Trump engaged in insurrection? Yes, but somebody more important than we are needs to decide that, too — preferably a judge or a jury.

Second, and maybe more important in the short term, we're very interested in the Republican Party saddling itself with Trump for the 2024 election. Why? Because the path is strewn with minefields for them. In fact, we think we've seen a way in which the party would implode over Donald, something we've been waiting for a long time — or at least ever since Lindsey Graham predicted it back in 2016. (Come on, Republicans, get on with it already!)

The GOP could very possibly blow itself up at its 2024 convention. Trump has rigged the delegate selection rules in the primary and caucus states to favor him — so, don't quote polls at us. Haley or Rhonda or whoever else could get a third of the vote in some states, but Donald would still get all the delegates because of winner-take-all. The nomination could be clinched by Super Tuesday — the day after Trump is scheduled to go to trial for January 6.

Fast-forward to the convention, and you find that pledged delegates are bound to vote on at least the first ballot. Unbound delegates don't have to, but there will be barely more than 100 of them in Milwaukee.

Imagine that Donald's fortunes have declined even further by convention time, and some slice of the Republican Party will try to dump him in favor of who-knows-who. They'll run up against the bound-unbound rules, but those will be nothing compared to the fury of the MAGAts. Trumpsters will brook no opposition, so if the "establishment" tries to throw their hero overboard, we can see them walking out like Strom Thurmond's Dixiecrats in 1948.

There's no appeasing the Lovers of Donald — they're just waiting to explode. Which means the GOP is riding a bomb like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove. We cats PURR.

Give 'Em Hell, Hunter

By Sniffles

It's hard to know how to handle it when the Baseless Republican Attacks Machine goes into gear. Do you fight back, and risk giving credence to any of the lies? Or do you refuse to dignify it with a response, in the hope that it'll just sputter away?

Today, Hunter Biden decided to fight, and it was glorious to see. Because when you don't respond, too often the lies don't sputter — they fester instead. (Ask John Kerry, who disastrously shied away in 2004 from answering the perfidious accusations of the Swift Boaters.)

Hunter recognized all this in his statement, and upped the ante with his willingness to testify publicly, not behind closed doors as MAGA Republicans have insisted. "Republicans do not want an open process where Americans can see their tactics...or hear what I have to say," Hunter declared. From his poise and eloquence today, families across the country — many, many of whom have dealt with addiction and hardship themselves — can understand why.

And at heart, the Trumpsters know Hunter is right. They're trying to do something, anything, to project corruption onto the Bidens and steer people's attention from Donald Trump's own. "There is no fairness or decency in what these Republicans are doing," Hunter said. "They have taken the light of my dad's love for me, and presented it as darkness." Brilliant. Every word, every syllable.

The other thing? As Twitter has noticed, it doesn't hurt that Hunter is good-lookin'. We cats PURR.

Mapmakers, Mapmakers, Make Us A Map

By Hubie and Bertie

We have our usual firehose of disagreeable headlines today, screaming about Ukraine and Russia, Israel and Hamas, COP28, and the continued enslavement of women in red states. But since it's good to always look on the bright side of life, let's focus on the news from New York, where the state Court of Appeals just gave Democrats the right to redraw their 2024 Congressional map.

Hooray! Losing our majority in 2022 happened, unfortunately, here in the Empire State. Along with George Santos's, three other House seats were flipped by Republicans, a maddening outcome. There was no "red wave," and the GOP was left with a slim margin, but we still ended up with Kevin McCarthy and now Mr. Jesus Freak as Speaker.

But New York Democrats should proceed with caution: Don't overreach, folks. That's what got us in trouble the last time. And if you could manage to keep us in Democrat Paul Tonko's district, NY-20, and not put us back in Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's, NY-21, that would be swell.

Nevertheless, if the price of getting a fair map and the House back in Democratic hands is for us to end up with ultra-MAGA Elsie again, we're willing to pay it. It's a worthy sacrifice for the country. We cats PURR.

Coming Back To Bite Them

By Miss Kubelik

The case of Kate Cox continues to be disturbing and enraging, but at least she's managed to leave Texas to get the healthcare she needs. Note to 2024 voters: Not all women can afford to do this. But more important than the money: Taking away a person's bodily autonomy is dehumanizing. It's a form of enslavement. Change our minds.

Then again, that's exactly what the Republicans have wanted to do to women in the first place: humiliate and control. Even when the woman is white, straight, married, a mom, and wanting more children. Cox is not some hairy, baby-hating feminist caricature that the right wing has always used to decry "abortion on demand."

So the GOP and their faux-Christian fellow travelers have probably picked the wrong victim here (although, of course, all women denied their reproductive rights are victims). As a brave and sympathetic figure, Cox will resonate more with voters who are paying attention to what Texas is doing, and not liking what they see.

According to the Texas law, Cox can be arrested on her return home. Just imagine her perp walk as a campaign ad for Biden-Harris next year. And Gavin Newsom can use it when Greg Abbott tries to lure corporations away from California. Freedom simply doesn't exist in Texas — and other red states. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(IMAGE: Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press)

Crumpling

By Zamboni

The Trumpies and religious zealots among us like to amplify themselves on social media and elsewhere, to make themselves seem more powerful. But in reality, to cite a cat-related term, they're paper tigers.

Take Benedict Donald. He was blustering about how he was going to get back on the witness stand tomorrow in his civil fraud trial in New York. His vapid girl attorney, Alina Habba, even said, "He will take that stand on Monday. He will open himself up to whatever they want because he’s not afraid. People who are afraid cower. Trump doesn’t cower."

Except when he does. Donald will not appear. For her part, New York Attorney General Letitia James couldn't care less — she's already proven that he committed fraud. The only question is how much money he'll have to pay.

Meanwhile, pressure is rising on Bridget Ziegler, the Florida-based founder of "Moms for Liberty" who's been caught in a threesome scandal with her icky baby-faced rapist husband. Ziegler resigned her position at her Nazi "Leadership Institute," but that's not we care about. We want her off the Sarasota County School Board. And it looks like the Board may call for that very thing on Tuesday.

Good. "Moms for Liberty" is already on the ropes, having lost some important races in last month's off-year elections. Bridget's hypocrisy should put another few nails in their well-deserved coffin. That will make us cats PURR.

Consequences

By Baxter

Who are the communications staffers who advised the presidents of Penn, Harvard and MIT this week? They need to have their asses fired forever — because anybody who hands a PR victory to Elise "Elsie" Stefanik deserves to be hounded out of the profession.

But since we cats believe in always looking on the bright side of life, let's appreciate the fact that a terrible person named Edward Mathews has been sentenced to eight years in prison for terrorizing Black people in his neighborhood in New Jersey. His behavior wasn't a one-off: "He had frequently used racial slurs against Black neighbors, put feces on their property, sent threatening emails and letters, and shot their cars with BB pellets," The Daily Beast reports.

As you'd expect, like so many January 6 defendants who have been hauled off to the hoosegow, Mathews cried piteously as his Black judge sentenced him. Excellent! These are the stories we need to savor until we have the supreme satisfaction of seeing either Ken Paxton or Donald Trump — or both — join these losers behind bars. We cats PURR.

Good News

The economy is doing great. And maybe political journalism is catching up? Are they willing to report facts instead of GOP spin? We cats PURR.

Miscarriage Of Justice

By Sniffles

Did the pro-choice movement make it clear for 40 years that restricting abortion could have devastating consequences on women's healthcare, and we cats just missed it? Because that seems like a compelling argument to preserve reproductive rights.

And did anyone on the pro-choice side use the excellent term "forced birth" when forecasting the consequences of losing Roe? Again, if someone did, we didn't get the memo.

But now, as they say, here we are.

The Supreme Court's Dobbs decision may have handed Democrats elections on a plate, but women are in danger. Either they can't get the procedures they desperately need for pregnancies gone awry, or providers are leaving their red states in droves because they don't have the freedom to practice. It's easy to gloat about Republicans screwing themselves in those states, but goodness gracious — at what a price.

The latest case in point is the horrific story from Texas about Kate Cox, who was forced to ask for a court-approved abortion after her 20-week fetus was diagnosed with Trisomuy 18, a fatal condition. Had the judge not ruled in her favor, Cox would have been forced to carry the dangerous pregnancy to term — and then watch the fetus die. Can you imagine not being able to get the care you need because a bunch of right-wing white men in Austin have decided you don't deserve it?

(And yes, you guessed it: Right on cue, corrupt state attorney general Ken Paxton issued a threat on social media to Cox's doctors and the hospitals where they practice. No word on whether he'll file a writ of mandamus petition to contest the judge's ruling, but expect the worst.)

We will temper our outrage by circling back to our original questions: Did the pro-choice folks ever talk about how losing abortion rights would damage physicians' careers? Did they ever try to corral the AMA or other providers' organizations in support of women's reproductive freedom? It's possible they did, but we sure don't remember it. We cats HISS.

Misfires

By Hubie and Bertie

This book keeps getting more and more hilarious. You guessed it: Kevin McCarthy announced today that he will be leaving Congress at the end of this year. Not running for re-election, not even hanging around until his constituents can elect someone to replace him. next November.

In other words, a typical Republican who doesn't give a damn about the people he allegedly serves.

So, the current state of the so-called "Guns"? Cantor: Defeated by a teabagger in his Republican primary. Ryan: Terrorized and fled. McCarthy: Terrorized, humiliated, deposed and fled.

It will be fun to watch the GOP's jungle primary in Kev's district and how much money they end up spending (that they'd probably prefer to spend elsewhere in 2024). But as for filling the vacancy between now and then, we hope Governor Gavin Newsom takes a page from Ron DeSantis's book after Democratic Congressman Alcee Hastings died. Dear Gavin: No rush to call a special election, hon. We cats PURR.

Progressive Paradise

By Miss Kubelik

Well, the hand-wringers are at it again, this time about Arab-Americans who are miffed at Team Biden over its handling of the Israel-Hamas war. At least, to the extent that Twitter reflects the real world (which it doesn't), folks are freaking out about this, mostly because of the large Arab population in Michigan. To which we cats say, cut it out.

First, the best way to counter any feelings of panic about next year is to take thoughtful action. That can range from researching key House and Senate races and donating to the appropriate Democratic candidates, to doing some remote phone banking, to writing letters and post cards to low-turnout voters in swing states. Or, if you live in a state or Congressional district with an important race, volunteering for a campaign and knocking on doors. Take it from us, you'll feel better.

But there's little reason to worry about Michigan these days. Under the leadership of Democrats in the legislature and Governor Gretchen Whitmer, it's recognized across the country as a model of Midwestern progressivism — "proof that real progressive victories can change the lives of millions...in swing states, not just deep-blue California," writes Susan Demas in Michigan Advance. 

"Michigan showed that it’s possible to band together on big, systemic change, despite intense lobbying from powerful business and gun rights interests," Demas says. "Hands down, the biggest boon to Michigan progress has been having Gretchen Whitmer at the helm."

In crass political terms, Governor Whitmer, who doubtlessly has national ambitions, knows that it's in her interest to deliver her state to Dark Brandon in 2024. So we cats are not worried. If we change our minds, we'll let you know.

And what are Michigan Republicans doing in the meantime? Trying to overthrow their election-denying nutcase party chair, who can't cobble together quorums to conduct business or raise anywhere close to the money the state GOP needs to be competitive next year. They're broke, and a mess. Gee, that's too bad, isn't it? We cats PURR.

La Neige

Montreal had an excellent snowfall last night, and we cats are feeling quite envious. (In Upstate New York, all we're getting is dreary rain.) So we decided to take today to savor these images, sure in the knowledge that once we're back to commenting on US politics again, there will be a lot more Republican hypocrisy to cover. Mr. and Mrs. Christian Ziegler, anyone? We cats HISS.

(PHOTOS: Xin Li)

Tree Toppler

 

Please note this cartoon is only symbolic. In real life, we cats would never do anything like this.

(IMAGE: Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press)

DeSantis, Destroyed

By Zamboni

If we were Ron DeSantis's Presidential campaign, we'd pack it in after a week like the one he's just had. But of course we want Rhonda to stay in the race so he can humiliate himself some more.

A short recap: Right before Thanksgiving, Chris Jankowski, the chief executive of Rhonda's annoyingly named Super PAC "Never Back Down," resigned — citing more than just strategic disagreements, but being rather opaque about it. Now, PAC chair Adam Laxalt has just quit, too. Literally to spend more time with his family.

The Laxalt news comes on top of the Koch Brothers deciding to throw their anti-Trump resources Nikki Haley's way instead of at Rhonda's, which in itself was quickly followed last night by Ron's terrible debate against California's Democratic Governor, Gavin Newsom. (Oh, and the chair of the Florida Republican Party and his Moms for Liberty wife are in hot, hot, hot water — threesomes, rape, assault, battery, oh, my! Rhonda's been forced to demand his resignation.)

The DeSantis campaign has become synonymous with disaster, like the Titanic, the San Francisco earthquake, Chernobyl, and George Santos's Congressional career. We cats are totally here for it, and we PURR.

Last Day Of Goodbyes For Rosalynn

Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter was laid to rest in Plains, Georgia, today. "In his eulogy, Pastor Tony Lowden noted Mrs. Carter’s famous competitive streak," The Washington Post reports. "He joked, to laughter from the church, that she would say of heaven: 'Jimmy tried to beat me here. I got here first. I've won the prize. Tell him I beat him, and I’m waiting on him.'" We cats PURR.

Best Funeral Moment Ever

"I last interviewed President and Mrs. Carter together in July 2021. I asked them how they thought President Biden was doing early in his term. Mrs. Carter said simply, it's a great relief to have him in office." (Judy Woodruff said this in her Rosalynn eulogy today with Moose & Squirrel sitting right in front of her! We cats PURR.)

Sensory Overload

By Baxter

Like so many other traditions at the White House, the idea of giving each year's Christmas decorations a theme was Jacqueline Kennedy's. "Magic, Wonder and Joy" is the theme for 2023 — celebrating the holiday through the eyes of small humans. Hundreds of volunteers worked their asses off this weekend, putting up trees, hanging ornaments, stringing lights, and, we assume, trying not to snack off a huge Executive-Mansion-shaped gingerbread house. Whew!

To be honest, from the photos we've reviewed, it all seems overdone. (Sorry, Jill.) But at least there are no blood-red "Handmaid's Tale" trees that caused such a stir in 2018 and which Moose & Squirrel was forced to lamely defend. And no very un-First-Ladylike comments like "Who gives a fuck about Christmas?" Thank heaven for small favors.

So for this post, we're going with a photo of Willow the White House cat instead. But Team Biden deserves kudos for their tasteful display in honor of Rosalynn Carter. "Her ground-floor portrait is draped in black and has two amaryllis arrangements, a candle and a note of condolence in front of it," The Washington Post reports.

We also hear that Moose & Squirrel will attend Mrs. Carter's tribute at The Carter Center in Atlanta tomorrow — along with Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, the Bidens, and Vice President Harris and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff. In that company, she will be the least-important person there. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Rosalynn Carter, Age 23

 

We'd never seen this photo before, but it is adorable. We cats PURR.

One Of Our Political Parties Is Not Serious

By Sniffles

Republicans have spent the last few days screaming about a nonexistent terror attack at the US-Canada border (it was a couple in their 50s, speeding in their very expensive Bentley), while one of their faves, George Santos, is threatening to out fellow Congressmen who, he says, drink too much and sleep with lobbyists. Republicans have also decided they really, really don't like Taylor Swift.

Meanwhile, the Biden Administration has been working hard on a ceasefire and exchange of hostages and prisoners between Israel and Hamas. With help from the Qatari and Egyptian governments, the US brokered an agreement that resulted in 24 hostages coming out of Gaza yesterday, with more being released right now. (It teetered a bit in uncertainty, but a call from Dark Brandon got things moving again.) Trucks of food, water and other supplies are entering Gaza.

Good job, Team Biden. As a tweep we follow said, "Biden is the reason any part of Gaza still stands. Biden is behind the humanitarian pause and the hostage/prisoner exchanges. Biden has been the one cautioning Israel to go slow, minimize civilian deaths, follow international law."

There really is only one choice next year. Vote for Biden-Harris and other Democrats. That will make us cats PURR.

Republicans Hope For The Worst

By Hubie and Bertie

We cats have been in Canada for almost a week — but even so, we received a number of messages from friends about whether we were at the border crossing that closed today due to a flaming car crash.

The answer is nope to everyone — but scratchy kisses for worrying about us. Niagara Falls is very far west of our usual St-Bernard-de-Lacolle crossing, which connects Interstate 87 in eastern New York to Quebec's Route 15. Still and all, the freaky accident at Niagara Falls makes one wonder: What was that all about?

Turns out the FBI has declared it a non-terrorist event. But that didn't stop Republicans and MAGAts from leaping to conclusions. In fact, they seemed to want it to be a terrorist attack, so they could accuse the Biden Administration of fucking up. Sorry, guys.

Ted Cruz, Kari Lake, Jason Chaffetz and numerous other Republicans immediately took to Twitter to declare it Joe Biden's failure to secure the border. Now that it's clearly not, we assume they will not even try to walk it back. As one of our favorite tweeps put it:

"It is so disgusting how, as long as a Democrat is in the White House, Republicans ache for the absolute worst things to befall the nation: economic recession, terrorist attacks, border invasions, stock market crashes, wars, skyrocketing prices — you name it, they’re cheering for it. Gross." We cats agree, and we HISS.

JFK 60

 

Seems like only yesterday we were marking the 50th anniversary of losing our 35th President. Here's 44 paying his respects. We cats PURR.

Cat Fights! GOP vs. GOP

By Miss Kubelik

If you watch cable TV news, you've been steeped in gloom-and-doom-for-Democrats coverage that focuses mainly on polls. We cats aren't sure what these polls are, or if they're surveying the right people, and/or asking them the right questions. We only know that the talking heads love to stoke Democratic hand-wringing with them.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Ever since Benedict Donald won the fluke election of 2016, he's been losing. Has anyone noticed that? Democrats won in 2018, won in 2020, staved off a "red wave" in 2022, and have won numerous special and state-level elections across the country, thanks to Dobbs. Democrats have also turned out a bunch of "Moms for Liberty" and other fascists at the county and school-board levels. In short, people seem to understand when their rights are being threatened.

But the gloom-and-doom continues. Joe Biden is too old, they say, and Trump is leading in key states, and nobody likes Kamala Harris. Even though we keep ruling at the ballot box — including just two weeks ago. Democrats cleaned up in Virginia, re-elected a Governor in deep-red Kentucky, and made a respectable showing in Mississippi. And Ohioans voted overwhelmingly for choice.

Tonight, we're happy to say the success continues, with news that the Democratic Party nearly doubled Republican fundraising in October: $13.1 million to $7.1 million. How can this possibly be, if things are as dire as the punditheads insist?

We'll tell you how. Aside from the facts that Democrats have accomplishments to point to and a winning message, it's kind of hard to see how Republicans can raise any money when they're engaged in fratricide. Every time we turn around, the GOP is consumed with infighting — with Ron DeSantis's PAC being just the latest example.

We Democrats have our own internal scraps, as the media will gleefully remind you. But they're nothing compared to what Republicans are doing to each other. Eyes on the prize, everyone. We cats PURR.

Happy 81st, Dark Brandon

Unlike a certain Former Guy, DB knows how to poke fun at himself. Happy birthday, sir! We cats PURR.

The Case For Rosalynn

 

"She attended Cabinet meetings and was only the second First Lady to testify before Congress...She took a professional approach to the role, exemplified by the fact that she was the first Presidential spouse to carry a briefcase to the office on a daily basis."

—Kate Anderson Brower, First Women

When The Walk-Down-Pennsylvania-Avenue Tradition Began

 

It's not the most important thing to remember about Rosalynn Carter, but we really liked her Inauguration Day coat (in Carter green) — and, of course, the fabulous boots! We cats PURR.

Brilliant.

By Zamboni

We cats don't get anti-Semitism. So much of what we admire and enjoy is thanks to Jewish people that we have no idea why anyone would not like them. George Gershwin? Rhapsodic. Carl Reiner? "Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth" alone would put him in the TV Hall of Fame. Jonas Salk? A genius who saved countless lives. Sacha Baron Cohen? Sexy in real life. Leonard Cohen — please. We love Cohens.

Which means that since October 7, world events have been very difficult to watch. And talk about. So we haven't talked about them much, at least not in the blogosphere.

Which brings us to a confession: We've been frankly shocked at the lack of global sympathy for Israel after the October 7 attacks. Do we not have enough information about what happened on that awful day?

Hamas's massacre of Israelis last month was horrific and disturbing. Although we haven't seen the videos shown to journalists and other selected audiences, we know that it was the stuff of nightmares. (We agree with Alfred Hitchcock that the most terrifying thing is that which you don't see — so thanks, but no thanks, on viewing whatever footage is available.) And despite Israel's hammering of Gaza, we don't see how a ceasefire would be the solution, since there already was one that Hamas violated on the day of the attacks. As Hillary Clinton and others have pointed out, another ceasefire would just allow Hamas to regroup, and would do nothing to get the hostages back.

So we were left with this conundrum: Is the lack of sympathy really all about Netanyahu? We could get behind that — we loathe him with the heat of a thousand suns. We pine daily for Israel to get rid of him, and yet we're not sure how they could do that. So we cling to polls that show that three-quarters of Israelis want him gone. Please, folks, don't let him prolong the war just to stay in power.

But, hey! Is there a potential breakthrough tonight? We're hearing news of a tentative Israel-Hamas deal to pause the war for five days to free some of the hostages — brokered by the US. This is obviously why President Biden refused to go into details with braying journalists during his post-China-summit presser. As he pointed out in a thoughtful op-ed in The Washington Post, "The United States is the essential nation." And clearly the essential dude is leading us now.

Just as we don't get anti-Semitism, we cats will never understand why people doubt Dark Brandon. He always delivers. And he'll keep doing so as long as we have his back. So get ready for 2024, folks — we, and the world, just might be okay if we put in the work. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Carl Reiner and Mary Tyler Moore in "Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth," The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1965)

Remarkable Rosalynn

By Baxter

Today we all received the news that former First Lady Rosalynn Carter has entered home hospice care. Since her husband, the former President, entered hospice six months ago and is still with us (and recently celebrated his 99th birthday), our first thought was whether Mrs. Carter would go the distance as well. But you never know. Typical hospice patients die within a week of entering the program.

So as we wait for any updates — and think warm, furry thoughts — we cats would like to say a few things about Mrs. Carter.

First, to all the TV talking heads out there — whether you're too young or an older idiot who should know better — please pronounce Mrs. Carter's first name correctly. It's ROSE-a-lynn. Thank you.

Second, Rosalynn Carter is not only a former First Lady but also one of the world's great humanitarians. 

For more than 40 years now, she and President Carter have tirelessly worked on the priorities of The Carter Center: waging peace, fighting disease and building hope. They have empowered people to improve their own lives, and have constantly sought to find solutions to problems that have most people throwing up their hands in defeat. They've eradicated a bunch of awful diseases that none of you have heard about — and trust us, you don't want the gory details. The Carters have saved literally millions of lives.

And of course they've monitored 115 elections in 40 countries, and promoted democracy and peace around the world.

And here's the other thing we want to say about Rosalynn Carter. She's a hell of a politician, and an intrepid campaigner. In 1976, she criss-crossed the country on Jimmy's behalf, staying in people's homes, canvassing, holding town halls, and doing the kind of bone-tiring retail politics that make people faint now. The Nancy Reagan model of staying glued to her husband's side and listening adoringly to every speech was not for her. More political spouses should follow her example.

Today, people would call Rosalynn a badass. The term didn't exist back in the '70s, but that's what she is. Bet she'd be proud to claim it. We cats salute her, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter conduct Carter Center election monitoring in Nepal in 2008.)

UPDATE, November 19: Mrs. Carter died in Plains, Georgia, this afternoon at 2:10 pm. The world is a less-lovely place today.

Who Knew Atlantic City Could Be Lavish?

By Sniffles

Somebody please break it to Elise "Elsie" Stefanik that her 2022 golden boy George Santos won't be running for re-election next year. George's announcement came hard on the heels of the House Ethics Committee's 56-page report on his nefarious doings — using campaign money for "lavish" trips to Atlantic City (whut?), Botox treatments, and porn, among other things. Are these the family values that the Republican Party used to champion? What a difference a Trump makes.

One guess is that Santos's announcement was meant to buy off enough GOP votes to forestall a two-thirds vote to expel him immediately. Since we love hanging the Santos albatross around New York Republicans' necks, we're rooting for George.

But after that — what's next? Will Santos write a tell-all book, and rat out all the closeted gays on the Christian right? Or maybe a children's book? Will he get a Speakers Bureau or Newsmax commentator gig? Start a phony foundation to support "diversity" in the GOP, and pay himself $1 million? Join the faculty at Liberty University? Or serve as Ambassador to Brazil in the second Trump Administration?

(We threw that last one in for laughs.)

No predictions here, unless it's book-writing: Like Hitler, he'll probably have to do it from jail. We cats PURR.

Chickenhawk

By Hubie and Bertie

If you happened to catch the near-throwdown in a recent Senate hearing — you know, the one that made committee chair Bernie Sanders shout "You're a United States Senator!" — here is a photo of Oklahoma Republican Markwayne Mullin that was taken on January 6, 2021, and which has now gone viral.

Mullin may have tried to seem tough going up against Teamsters President Sean O'Brien yesterday, but as you can see, on January 6 he was crouching in fear of the Trump-unleashed MAGA rioters who were storming the doors. He definitely had reason to worry about what the mob would do. But they're the same MAGAts whose pockets he's fleecing with fundraising appeals today. 

Yep — he's wasted no time trying to rake in a few bucks for his cringeworthy attempt to "fight" O'Brien. (In addition to crouching, he's been known to stand on boxes so he can appear taller during debates. A Mullin version of Ron DeSantis's shoe lifts, one imagines.)

Odds are that this picture would never have become widely known had Mullin not thrown such a hissy fit yesterday. Nobody knows who the hell he is, even with the ridiculous name of "Markwayne," and no Republican nominee is ever going to pick a running mate from Oklahoma. So what ladders is he hoping to climb? Why make such a scene? Sure, maybe he's raising some money, but is that worth becoming a figure of ridicule? Somebody ask Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, who's having a similarly bad week. We cats PURR.

McCarthy Wants A Piece Of Burchett, Mullin Wants A Piece Of O'Brien, And None Of Them Are As Funny As "Seinfeld"

Fisticuffs almost broke out in both the House and the Senate today, thanks to Republicans. (Journalists, take note — this is a GOP thing, not a Congressional one.) Cat fights can often amuse, but when there are so many pressing problems to deal with, they wear a little thin. Please, America, vote the Republican clowns out next year. We cats HISS.

Is This How The Republican Party Self-Destructs?

By Miss Kubelik

"Ronna Romney" said on the Sunday shows today that the GOP that she chairs will support Benedict Donald as their 2024 nominee, even if a jury convicts him of a crime. There have been suggestions that a conviction (or two, or whatever) would send Trump's poll numbers into the toilet — and the Republicans to sure defeat next year.

But do you think the party will be able to dethrone their convicted criminal in favor of someone else, like Nikki Haley or Rhonda Santis or even, resurrected from the dead by a desperate party establishment, Mike Pence? Guess again: The delegate selection process has been — you've heard this term before — rigged in favor of Trump.

Over the past several years, many state GOPs have changed their primary rules to add more winner-take-all contests and to require candidates to earn higher percentages of the vote to get any delegates at all. It's another crucial aspect of the Trumpification of the Republican Party — but because it involves the eye-glazing, Inside Baseball minutiae of delegate selection and not sexy poll results and fundraising hauls, lazy journalists tend to pass it by.

Trump himself has called state party chairs to harangue them about these rule changes, because they tend to favor front-runners (like him). Recent examples include California, which this summer trashed its more-equitable, delegate-selection-by-Congressional-district system, and Massachusetts, which just switched to winner-take-all.

As the Associated Press reports, "Election experts say it appears few other [Republican] campaigns have been able to match Trump's years-long work. 'They've been asleep at the switch,' election lawyer Benjamin Ginsberg said." So the die is cast. It's difficult to imagine any of those ultra-MAGA delegates being willing to budge on Donald, even (or perhaps especially) if he's being hauled off to the hoosegow.

What might that conviction be? Well, Judge Cannon seems to be dragging her feet on the classified documents case, but think J6 in Washington, DC (March 4), and the RICO trial in Georgia (TBD, but moving forward). Here's a master calendar for handy reference.

With all this, and the reality that many primary states have sore-loser laws — meaning candidates who come up short can't turn around and access the ballot as, say, independents — the GOP is stuck. We live for the day that they self-immolate, in the hope that MAGA splinters off into irrelevancy and that maybe, somehow, a more reasonable party can eventually rise from the ashes. Because our democracy requires a healthy two-party system, that would make us cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Mike Peters)