Flat-Footed, And Falling Flat

 

By Baxter

The stupidity in Trump World is the most amusing thing. This tweet from Lauren Boebert is probably the apex, but Benedict Donald's misspelling of "indicted" in his outraged social media post last night gives it at least a little competition.

The best part is that the lackeys and fools who surround the mobster otherwise known as Donald Trump were caught by surprise by Alvin Bragg's grand jury yesterday. Racists that they are, they can't be pleased that a Black prosecutor has run rings around them. We cats will laugh about this for a long time.

And this reporting from The Washington Post is simply music to our ears: "Trump, for his part, dined at his private Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, with advisers for his 2024 presidential campaign after the news broke, but his recent good spirits had soured. One adviser described him as 'irritated' and 'deflated.'"

We love this. Donald Trump is probably the worst thing that's ever happened to the United States of America. He's up there with slavery, the Civil War, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, Watergate, 9/11, the needless invasion of Iraq in 2003, and the financial meltdown of 2008. He deserves to be irritated and deflated. Let's hope that much more irritation and deflation is to come.

Meanwhile, it looks like the MAGA supporters that everyone expected haven't shown up yet, either in Palm Beach or Manhattan. And even though Marjorie Taylor Greene swears she'll be in New York on Tuesday for Trump's arraignment, we predict that the whole event will be underwhelming. Humphrey Bogart's words in "Casablanca," all these years later, still apply: "There are certain sections of New York, Major Strasser, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade." We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: This Boebert tweet may not be real. But who can tell?)

De Adder Du Jour

 (IMAGE: Michael de Adder, The Washington Post)

Lock Him Up

By Sniffles

We didn't think this week could get any more amusing after Rhonda Santis was screwed by Disney. What the Reedy Creek Board did to DeSantis's "takeover" was so tables-turned delicious, because it's exactly what Republican legislatures have done — or tried to do — to duly elected Democratic Governors in other states (hello, Roy Cooper and Andy Beshear). And of course the bit about the "descendants of King Charles III" was hilarious and brilliant.

But now Alvin Bragg's grand jury has indicted Benedict Donald. Whee! Too bad it's a school night, but we'll celebrate tomorrow.

Meanwhile, not the most important question, but: What will this momentous event do to the Republicans' 2024 Presidential field?

We agree with George Conway that the best move at this point for DeSantis is simply not to run in '24. He's already had a bad soft rollout, and that was before Mickey Mouse humiliated him. Conway said the smartest thing DeSantis could do is just never really declare, bilk his fans, and then say, oops, never mind. He's young, and has time to wait.

If Rhonda does that, he'll eat up a lot of money, freeze supporters and prospective campaign workers in place, and keep several second-tier candidates from launching. By the time he drops out, it will be too late for any of the undeclared candidates to raise cash and hire the necessary professionals for a competitive campaign. (Although we could picture one or two trying to run in an all-in-on-New-Hampshire effort, in hopes of catching some Big Mo.)

Benedict Donald then will be left with a small and weak field, over which he will steamroll, in part because he owns so much of the state and local party machinery. There won't be a single Republican not named Trump with the money, organization, credibility, base and guts to stop Donald then.

This all sounds good to us. After all, 57 percent of Americans say that criminal charges should disqualify Trump from another bid. And that's the guy the GOP has hitched its wagon to. We cats PURR.

Will "Woke" Walt Win?

By Hubie and Bertie

And here we thought the Walt Disney Company was taking it lying down. Au contraire: We've learned that one day before the slavish body known as the Florida legislature put Rhonda Santis in charge, the Reedy Creek Improvement District passed a development agreement that has basically rendered DeSantis's new, handpicked board toothless — for decades.

Actually, it could be more than decades. The agreement includes a slew of anti-Team-Rhonda restrictive covenants, which will be valid until "21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of Charles III, King of England." Do these folks know how long-lived the Windsors are?

Outfoxed — or, maybe, out-moused — DeSantis is bringing in his favorite (very expensive) right-wing Washington "law firm" to contest all this, no doubt at taxpayers' expense. In the meantime, he and his GOP minions are sputtering in outrage. But they haven't got a leg to stand on, because this is exactly the kind of thing that they would have done if the circumstances had been reversed.

For those of us who despise DeSantis, it's all pretty swell. But sadly, it's also more proof that Florida has become a true banana republic. Property insurance costs are out of control — and the Republicans are spending their time doing what? Fighting with one of the largest job creators and tax generators in the state. We cats HISS.

Despicable

By Miss Kubelik

The Washington Post has published a 3D depiction of the destruction an AR-15 can wreak on the human body. The animation compares damage from an AR-15 to that of a handgun, and explains why one is so lethal while the other, if you're lucky, can be survivable. Then it goes on to demonstrate how AR-15s killed two actual victims — one from Sandy Hook, and the other from Parkland.

The Post asked for and received permission from the victims' families to produce the piece. If you view it, the animation is probably the closest you can come to seeing actual police photos from the sites.

"The carnage is rarely visible to the public," the article explains. "Crime scene photos are considered too gruesome to publish and often kept confidential. News accounts rely on antiseptic descriptions from law enforcement officials and medical examiners who, in some cases, have said remains were so unrecognizable that they could be identified only through DNA samples."

When it comes to gun violence, we cats have struggled with the issue of publishing photos of the dead. This Post piece reminds us that if victims' relatives would be willing to let some be seen, it could be a turning point in reining in America's terrible love affair with assault weapons.

Until then, sadly, we'll probably just have to put up with Republicans wearing AR-15 pins — and railing about arming teachers, locking doors and erasing trans people. We cats HISS.

Thread.

"I've dealt with the judicial system for 25 years — nearly all criminal-related. Over the past two years, I've watched subpoenas issued, attorneys handcuffed in their boxer shorts and searched, cellphones seized, Russian oligarchs' apartments searched, and the next day, 1,000 mafia homes searched in Europe.

"I’ve watched attorneys disbarred, Bannon convicted, Trump’s attorney testify before Congress and go to prison. I’ve watched members of the Cabinet be ordered to testify, executive privilege voided. and the crime-fraud exception to attorney-client privilege between a former President and his attorneys invoked — something that is so rare that it doesn’t happen five times a year in the entire country.

"I've watched hundreds of citizens be arrested and convicted of attacking our Capitol. It's now been announced that 700 to 1,200 more will face charges.

"I’m watching members of Congress blackmail their way into chairmanships of important Congressional committees in the misconceived hope that it will protect them from indictment and arrest. I've watched multiple members of Congress be exposed for requesting pardons from Trump. I'm seeing grand juries seated and hearing testimony from Governors, Secretaries of State and former three-star generals, in at least four different jurisdictions.

"Anyone who cannot recognize that, doesn’t want to.

"Mob families are taken down from the bottom up. This investigation involves billionaires, money laundering for Russian mobsters going all the way up to the wealthiest man on earth, Vladimir Putin. It involves 36 Trump Towers around the world being used to launder money.

"This investigation involves money funneled in through the NRA and 100 other conduits, coming from Russia, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, China and others, being distributed through the dark money PACs created by Citizens United, and going into the pockets of corrupt politicians.

"This investigation involves transnational organized crime and cryptocurrency, created to bypass and undermine the taxation systems of organized sovereign nations with the purpose of undermining their ability to govern and care for their citizens. The purpose behind that is to weaken the established world order that the rich can literally inherit the earth.

"This investigation involves an attack on the evolution of civilization and human rights. It is an attack on the future of humanity, by those who want to rule us, as opposed to a future where the collective people of the world determine its fate. Do you not understand? They cannot win an open war with us. It would destroy the planet. So they have attacked us from within. They’re using our prejudices, greed, and our laws and rights against us.

"They’re clogging our courts intentionally. Guo Wengui has filed over 100,000 documents in his bankruptcy case. Donald Trump has filed over 3,500 lawsuits in his life. The District of Columbia prosecutes around 700 people a year. January 6 generated that in one day. The investigation has to be slow because there are not enough judges, jurors, prosecutors or defense lawyers for it to proceed any faster."

—James F. Love, IV, author 

Score One For Stormy

 

We cats are a little late to the party, perhaps. But we just started following Stormy Daniels, and we haven't been disappointed.

Speaking Of Teams

 

The Biden visit to Ottawa was, by all accounts, a grand success. It's probably enough that Canadians are relieved that Benedict Donald is no longer President, but on top of that, the progress on trade, immigration and Haiti are frosting on the cake. We cats PURR.

UPDATE: Here's just one reason why we love Joe Biden. He chided male MPs who weren't standing up for federal Cabinets that were more than 50 percent women. We cats PURR.

"I Like Your Teams, Except The Leafs"

When he addressed the Canadian Parliament today, Joe Biden was generous. He could have pointed out that the Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won a Stanley Cup since 1967. We cats applaud the Bidens' visit to Ottawa, and we PURR.

Encouraging Developments

By Zamboni

As the rule of law bears down on Benedict Donald — and as Elise "Elsie" Stefanik doubles down on her support of him — a woman from Saratoga County has announced that she's running against Stefanik in 2024.

As a Republican. In the primary.

And no, we checked: She's not a nutcase going after Elsie from the right. Jill Lochner says she's a moderate and a "true Republican."

"The Republican Party in general, it’s become disappointing to me," she says. "The loudest, angriest voices get all the attention, and it gives a bad impression."

Okay. So, that's not the worst thing about today's GOP. We'd vote for authoritarianism, anti-Semitism and white supremacy. And there are plenty of other things we'd fight with Lochner on, tooth and claw, like gun control. But she's pro-choice because — get this! — she's had infertility issues and doesn't like the idea of the government telling her what to do on that. Imagine!

Lochner may very well get clobbered in the primary the way our impressive Democratic candidate, Matt Castelli, did in the 2022 general. But she'll make Stefanik spend some money — and sometimes, it takes more than one try to unseat an incumbent. Anything that contributes to an Elsie "air of inevitability" is good by us. We cats PURR.

Time Is Running Out

By Baxter

Tweeps we follow were crestfallen today that the Manhattan grand jury did not meet. They've been eagerly waiting to pop champagne when Benedict Donald is finally indicted for something — but still, no dice. We just want to say: If you're feeling whipsawed, imagine how things are going at Mar-a-Lago.

Yep, Trump puts on a brave show, but the walls are truly closing in on him, and he has to be on just as much tenterhooks (if not more) as the rest of us. It makes us think of Susan Hayward in I Want to Live! — reprieved at the last second, only to be executed soon after.

Because it's not just Alvin Bragg who is looming. Special counsel Jack Smith won a major legal victory today in the Mar-a-Lago classified documents case, and Trump's lawyer Evan Corcoran must testify to (a different) grand jury on Friday — no attorney-client privilege allowed.

The speed at which this is happening is extraordinary, which is alarming because it hints at an issue of national security. As with everything Trump, we continue to be astounded at how close to disaster the country came with him — and we still have the feeling that we're not quite out of the woods yet.

And Fani Willis is out there as well. Stuff is happening in that case, too — witness the previously undisclosed phone call Trump placed to then- Georgia House Speaker David Ralston in December 2020, urging Ralston to convene a special legislative session to overturn Joe Biden's victory. We can only imagine the litany of perfidy and crap that will be revealed if and when Willis finally indicts.

The overall take here, as we've pointed out before: Grand jury deliberations are secret, for good reasons. This is not a reality show, and don't let cable news try to convince you that it is. We cats PURR.

Uh, Oh...

 

Guess where we cats are going tomorrow, two days after the spring equinox? It may also be the day that Benedict Donald is finally indicted for something. Will we see any Canadians celebrating, or just Americans? Because Americans will be. We cats wait, and we PURR.

Load Of Crap.

By Sniffles

Yesterday, Benedict Donald said that he was going to be arrested by the Manhattan DA on Tuesday and that his loyal followers should take to the streets. (See above.)

No doubt some yahoos in northern Idaho read that post, immediately threw a couple of shotguns in the back seat of their pickup, and took off for New York City. (Never mind that they can't afford the hotel prices there.) They're probably somewhere in Kansas about now.

And surely other MAGA idiots are en route to Palm Beach — while others have made plans to withdraw all their money from the First Bank of Bumfuck, Arkansas, another one of the silly protest schemes. Personally, we'd love to see Trumpsters tank some rinky-dink hillbilly bank, and all the brouhaha that would ensue. It would be most amusing!

But we couldn't help asking why, with only Trump's word to go on, everyone else assumed it would indeed be Tuesday. Turns out we may have been right.

Trump's legal team is apparently sending a rebuttal witness to the grand jury tomorrow. This is a defendant's right, but will probably slow things down. You also have to believe that it was in the works well before Benedict Donald riled up everyone yesterday morning.

Can we stop letting him yank our chain? We're talking to the fun people we follow on Twitter, but, most of all, we're addressing the media. Please, journalists, can you grow up? We cats HISS.

Hugs

It is — despite Benedict Donald's claims to the contrary — completely unclear when and if Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg will indict him in the Stormy Daniels case. He lies constantly, so why the entire world believes him when he says he'll be arrested on Tuesday is a mystery. Therefore, we treat you to this heartwarming scene instead.

Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota just signed a bill for universal school meals, because funnily enough, kids have a hard time learning when they're hungry. Here they are, showing the Gov their appreciation. Sometimes politics can make you smile. We cats PURR.

Imminent, As They Say

By Miss Kubelik

Since Trump's mobster lawyer is now saying that Benedict Donald will give himself up at Mar-a-Lago next week without causing a scene, it looks like our weekend will be consumed with anticipation of an arrest. Wow! This kind of talk is almost as fun as the actual indictment.

All that said, bear in mind the following:

• Trump will spend all weekend trying to fundraise from his base. As the world's Grifter Extraordinaire, he'll have to do that before he gets hit with a gag order.

• If Trump tries to say anything negative about Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg after that, his bail could be revoked. Judges just don't allow defendants to say bad things about prosecutors on social media without consequences.

So, these next few days are Donald's last chance to fleece the flock. Rest assured that he'll milk the Stormy Daniels indictment for all it's worth, just to eke a few extra bucks from his ignorant MAGA crowd.

We can't decide what's more offensive — Trump's crimes against democracy, or his violations of the poor ignorant slobs who say they believe in him. Either way, he is one of the most despicable forms of humanity who ever walked the earth. We cats HISS.

Still Waiting

By Zamboni

Well, folks, it looks like we're going to have to find a way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day without a Trump indictment — at least, not today.

However, Benedict Donald should not plan on spending a relaxing weekend. The Manhattan DA's office reportedly is meeting with Secret Service and law enforcement to prep for the indictment, expected (perhaps? probably?) next week.

It's all uncharted waters, because a former President has never been formally charged with crimes before. But when you think about it, it makes sense that Alvin Bragg's team would want to have all its logistical ducks in a row before they lower the boom.

And this is just the Stormy Daniels case. Officials are still pursuing possible charges in the stolen-documents and January 6 cases at what seems on the surface to be at a snail's pace, but which we suspect is really breakneck speed. It's pretty impressive when you consider how complicated and fraught these eventual charges will be.

So today's post is your regular reminder that although we're all ready to pop the cork on our first-indictment champagne, these Trump investigations are not a reality show, and they will be ready when they are ready. We cats wish everyone defending democracy and the rule of law well, and we PURR.

(IMAGE: You can buy this candle — and many other fun ones like it — from That Gay Guy Candle Company, here.)

Derision 2024

By Baxter

When Mel Brooks made The Producers in 1968, World War II was a vivid memory. There were still plenty of people around who could testify to the horrors of the Third Reich in graphic detail. But Brooks had decided that the greatest weapon he could wield against the Nazis was to make fun of them. Enter "Springtime for Hitler."

He's still doing it at age 96, with a new show that includes the sketch "Hitler on Ice." We cats have to admit we laughed, despite the fact that in our Trumpy times, things seem to be alarmingly Nazified again. Nevertheless, Brooks's strategy is still a good one.

In fact, lots of folks are employing it against Florida Governor and budding fascist Ron DeSantis — even as the credulous press, always on the lookout for ratings, tries to build him up as The Great Trump Alternative. People have mocked DeSantis's short stature, his white go-go boots, his sad-sack demeanor at an event with President Biden, his Naval assignment as assistant urinalysis coordinator, and his recent silly game of catch with Brian Kilmeade. (The odd fashion choices of wife Casey have also been, um, questioned.) A wildly talented videographer put him in Cleopatra and Gone With the Wind. And of course, Benedict Donald himself has tried out several insulting nicknames — but we think "Tiny D," which was not one of Trump's, is the best.

Pretty soon we'll see a DeSantis imitator slipping and falling during a triple salchow on "Saturday Night Live." But even if we don't, the rumors that Rhonda's balloon is starting to deflate before it's even airborne have already begun.

As Mel knows, ridicule is a potent weapon. And the clown show that's today's GOP sure is handing us a lot of material. We cats PURR.

UPDATE: Goodness gracious — how could we have forgotten the "fascist snowflake" prank that Rhonda just fell for?

Super(califragilisticexpialidocious)!

 Serial liar and probable felon George Santos just filed for re-election in 2024, and Randy Rainbow didn't waste a minute! We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Malala Shows 'Em All Edition

By Sniffles

We cats did not watch a moment of the Oscars on Sunday: Every year, the Academy makes it less important to engage. (This is no slur on any of the winners, since we've seen literally none of the nominated films or performances.) But wow! Malala Yousafzai was the only person at the event who had any taste. Her Ralph Lauren gown was stunning (and her husband was, too).

Meanwhile, some other stories have popped up in the news today:

President Carter has asked President Biden to deliver the eulogy at his funeral. Some folks got this confused and thought President Carter had died already — happily, that's not yet the case. We used to root for him to make it to 100. Now, we'll be happy if he lives long enough to see Benedict Donald indicted. And that could happen very soon! 

Ron DeSantis sure picked the wrong day to come out on Russia's side, shot-down-drone-wise. (P.S.: He used to be on Ukraine's side.) So, will any of the other GOP "contenders" not named Trump have anything to say about this? That is, aside from Chris Sununu?

We are now at the point where we can't tell if Trump's insane posts on "Truth Social" are genuine or a diabolical parody. Even after years of putting up with Donald's nonsense, we find this unsettling. Would he really have posted a tightly constructed laundry list of advisers, each with his or her own insulting nickname, and, except with a stray hyphen here and there, nothing misspelled? Did he really call Jeff Sessions "Mister Magoo"? That's too funny to be real.

Finally, something that's not funny: Mike Pence's lame, homophobic "joke" about Pete Buttigieg at the Gridiron Club. If you don't know what he said, we're not going to repeat it. Suffice to say that Mike Pence is a truly terrible person, and one moment of taking Dan Quayle's advice on Constitutional powers is never going to change that. We cats HISS.

Suckers!

For all of our many MAGA readers, we present this latest Lincoln Project ad as a public service announcement. The rest of you, just sit back and enjoy — knowing that it's gotten what's sure to be Benedict Donald's horrible week off to an infuriating start. We cats PURR.

Whatever It Takes

By Hubie and Bertie

We're kinda thinking that maybe the end days of Fox "News" are at hand.

At the very least, the network will be potentially forced to pay over a billion dollars in damages to Dominion Voting Systems. Even if the case never goes to trial and is settled out of court, Fox may be financially damaged beyond repair.

Which would be a great thing for American democracy.

Is it possible? After nearly 30 years of untold damage to our system of self-government, can Fox "News" be on the brink of destruction? We have to hope that yes, it is. Rupert Murdoch is in his nineties, and while he has his spawn lined up to continue the business, we sense a dusk descending upon his most destructive, Rupertesque regime. Fox's hypocrisy has been deliciously revealed, not by a bunch of radical-liberal Democrats but by a corporation seeking to demonstrate damage to its business. In short, a question less of democracy than of money.

Hey, whatever works. If Fox dies for monetary rather than democratic reasons, we can live with it. As long as it dies, period.

It's how we feel about Benedict Donald. We fully expect the Manhattan DA to indict Trump this week. Some lefties may complain that the Stormy Daniels charges pale in comparison to the other damage Trump has done to the country. We cats agree. But more charges are undoubtedly coming, and whatever it takes to put Trump in the courts and/or behind bars, we don't care. Al Capone went to jail for tax evasion, you know. We cats PURR.

Dear Ottawa, Get Ready For Joe

By Miss Kubelik

Exciting news! Joe Biden's first visit to Canada as US President will take place March 23 and 24. Neat! He'll address Parliament and everything.

Which means that more Canadian lawmakers will be able to express relief similar to what you see on Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's face in this photo from their January meeting in Mexico City. Some in the Canadian press have taken to describing Benedict Donald's tenure as "chaotic and disruptive." It certainly was — although Justin handled Trump masterfully. And as it turned out, it was good practice for dealing with the MAGA-like "Freedom Convoy" nutcases.

While Joe is in Ottawa, we suggest he trot over to the Byward Market to pick up a beaver tail, pop into D'Arcy McGee's tavern on Sparks Street, and, if he has time, check out the Canadian War Museum, just down the road from Parliament. They are all excellent. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Andrew Harnik, AP)

Looks Like Stormy Weather For Donald

We won't second-guess the Manhattan DA, but the storm signals are strong. Until then, we cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Ides Of March Edition

By Zamboni

This is a very busy time of year for us, but the news never takes a day off. So here are some of the stories and events that are grabbing our attention tonight.

You can't put a lot of stock into social media, but if you follow the right people and have a talent for reading between the lines, you might have noticed lately that a Trump indictment is coming. Soon, in fact. Like, maybe next week. In a development that would have surprised folks just a few months ago, it appears that the first batter up in the Indict Benedict Donald slugfest will be Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan DA, for the Stormy Daniels payoff. He may beat Fani Willis in Georgia, who must present her special grand jury evidence on election tampering to a regular grand jury — which, in fact, she's doing now. Bringing up the rear is DOJ for January 6 and the stolen classified documents.

Look, none of us knows what is really going on. That's because the American system of justice, as difficult as it is sometimes to believe, is built on the rights of defendants. So much is kept secret. It's maddening to have to wait for breaking news, but take it from us, this is the way it has to be. As they say, you don't want to aim at the king and miss.

Meanwhile, the detestable Jenna Ellis, who swears that she never lied about 2020 voting fraud, has just sworn under oath that she lied about 2020 voting fraud. Wait, what?

And where are all the right wingers making fun of Mitch McConnell's fall last night? You know how brutal they are whenever President Biden trips going up some airplane stairs or tumbles off his bike. Then again, Biden knows how to fall without giving himself a concussion.

Speaking of Biden, how excellent that he's throwing down the gauntlet to the Republicans by introducing a budget that will make them blanch — as long as the press makes it clear in its headlines and stories that Biden is proposing taxes on the rich. So far, some in the media are disappointing us. Sadly, we can't say we're surprised.

Finally, we're loving how the Dominion court filings are pulling the curtain back on the hypocrisy and money-grubbing that is Fox "News." But how do we inform Fox viewers about these developments, since the network they slavishly watch is not covering the duplicitous emails of Rupert Murdoch, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham and Sean Hannity? (Especially Carlson, who needs to be deported somewhere.) 

Here's an idea for a not-as-famous-as-The-Lincoln-Project PAC: Please produce some ads with a voice-over talent who sounds like Sam Elliott — or who maybe is Sam Elliott — explaining the whole Fox-Dominion story. Then, run them on local coverage of NASCAR. See the commercial spot above for inspiration. We cats PURR.

As Usual, Ken Burns Is Right

"My thoughts on Florida House Bill 999:

"America’s greatness stems not from its suppression of our complicated history, but our willingness to engage and understand it. Each generation has helped further bring to life the values articulated in the Declaration and made more perfect in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.

"Our contribution should not be to silence those trying to understand the past more fully. By trying to dictate what teachers can and cannot teach, Florida House Bill 999 is an assault on the very liberties articulated by the Founders, and something that all Americans should speak out against."

A Matter Of Convention

By Baxter

Should the Democratic National Convention go to Atlanta in 2024?

There are some compelling arguments for it. Since Biden-Harris carried Georgia in 2020 (take that, soon-to-be-indicted Benedict Donald), it would be a nice reward. It would also give the state's two freshly minted Democratic Senators time in the spotlight. And it would be a very special opportunity to celebrate Congressman John Lewis — and, of course, former President Jimmy Carter.

On the other hand, Marjorie Taylor Greene represents the district just up the road, and no doubt she and her nutcase supporters would try to raise some kind of ruckus. But that doesn't worry us nearly as much as the fact that Georgia is an open-carry state. Long guns in public are hunky-dory, no permit or background check required. This has got to make convention planners a tad nervous.

Overall, though, it's kind of sad that we're back to our old "convention city" ways after the pandemic forced us — as the only responsible political party in America — to gather virtually in 2020. That Democratic convention was fantastic TV. So, wherever we end up in two years, can we do some sort of hybrid — a combination of live action and compelling video? Perhaps the January 6 Committee producers could lend a hand. That would make us cats PURR.

Eradication Is For Worms, Not For People

By Sniffles

It's been two weeks since the world learned that former President Jimmy Carter had entered hospice. Since many patients stay in a hospice program for a week or less, we were all bracing for news at any moment. But now there are reports that he may be more like other patients, whose average length of stay is 78 days. 

Obviously, nobody knows. There's only one person we've known to graduate from hospice, and that was Art Buchwald. We'll see what category Carter falls in.

Meanwhile, tributes and reminiscences have poured in from around the globe, giving Carter a lavish and loving send-off before he even goes. We hope he's been able to read or hear about a bunch of them. They must be very satisfying, particularly since — as we well remember — folks couldn't wait for him to get out of Washington in 1981.

Many of the tributes have referenced the President's support of Habitat for Humanity. Not to diss Habitat, but the last 40 years of the Carters' lives have been about so much more than that. Such as: Have you ever heard of Guinea worm? If not, count your blessings, because it's a simply hideous disease that tortured millions of Africans — until the Carters tackled it. You get it by ingesting Guinea worm larvae in unfiltered water. Later, the worms grow inside you to enormous length and push their way out of your body. Real nightmare stuff, right out of "Alien."

When The Carter Center first started its Guinea worm initiative in 1986, nearly four million Africans suffered from the disease. Last year, there were a total of 13 cases. So far in 2023, there have been none.

Jimmy Carter always said he wanted to outlive the last Guinea worm. If the statistics continue to hold up, he may have already done so. Now that's an eradication we can get behind. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Jimmy Carter comforts a young Guinea worm patient in Ghana.)

Grand Girl

This is not an entertainment blog — but since it's Women's History Month, we cats would like to salute Jean Harlow. Gone too soon, she was one of the shimmering stars in classic Hollywood's firmament. She was charming, talented, and able to hold her own with a ton of veteran actors twice her age. She was born on this date in 1911. Thank you, Jean! We cats PURR.

Unhappy Warriors

By Hubie and Bertie

CPAC is convening again, with all of its dark and dystopian takes on the state of the nation. Goodness gracious, it's nothing but grievance and anger and shouting. It got us cats wondering: Whatever happened to the sunny optimism of Ronnie Reagan's "shining city on a hill"?

Then, when we thought about it, we realized that Reagan was the exception, not the rule. With precious few outliers, the Republican worldview has always been sour, angry and resentful. Donald Trump just amplified it and set it free — allowing people to be their worst selves.

A little background: Reagan started out as a New Dealer, but changed his tune in the Sixties, railing angrily against Medicare and other lefty initiatives. But by the time he ran for President in 1976 and, especially, in 1980, somebody advised him to cloak his retrograde ideas in amiability. And he was successful — but the GOP before him, and well after him, trafficked more in indignant entitlement. Remember how in 1936, FDR singled out his detractors and said, "I welcome their hatred"? Well, Democrats could still say that today.

Funnily enough, there's no reason for 2023's mainstream voters — or, for that matter, any voters — to be attracted to an angry, aggrieved Republican message. Unless they spend all their days feeling angry and aggrieved themselves — but most people don't. They go about their lives and, if we politicos are lucky, they beam in every two or four years or so, and decide to vote for somebody (or vote against somebody else). These are the majority of Americans — and as imperfect as our democracy is, they still basically make things work. So why should they vote for somebody who yells at them?

Look back on Republican nominees for the past 60-plus years, and you don't see a lot of cheerful folks. Maybe Eisenhower was the last one, and he was merely genial. Nelson Rockefeller was happy — in fact, he even married someone named Happy. But the party crushed him three times before he died in the saddle. Nixon was quintessentially resentful and paranoid. Dole was menacing (picture him in his 1976 VP debate, muttering about "Democrat wars"). Both Bushes modulated their behavior, because in 1988 and 2000, they wanted to win. Romney is a blank slate — neither happy or un-.

But with Trump in 2016, Republicans truly unleashed their outrage. And by a combination of the Electoral College, Russian interference, James Comey, and the assistance of the press, they won.

(Interestingly, the closest a Republican has come recently to happy warriorship was Sarah Palin, with her hateful politics balanced in 2008 by a winky, cheerful, hockey mom persona. And the Republicans have banished her to the dumpster ever since.)

Our point is this: After all these years, Republicans need to understand that grievance and fury don't sell. Reagan knew this, but the GOP of today would be unrecognizable to him. (And to Nancy.) Which explains why Nikki Haley attended CPAC today and was heckled not only during her speech, but in her hotel-hallway press availabilities. This is the way the base of the GOP is going to treat anyone who is anti-Trump. And thanks to that, they're going to lose — because they'll be going up against the ultimate Happy Warrior, Joe Biden. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Nelson Rockefeller gives the finger to students at SUNY Binghamton in 1976. Ford-Dole lost the Presidential election that year, but Rockefeller, who today would be considered a wildly liberal Republican, epitomized the kind of guy who loved — loved — the political give and take. Like Joe Biden trapping Republicans into a pledge to maintain Medicare and Social Security. We cats PURR again.)

Florida Fines? Not Fine

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have been pretty much ignoring Rhonda Santis lately. Not because what's going on in Florida isn't horrible — but we feel like some powers-that-be in the GOP are trying so hard to pump him up against Benedict Donald that surely Rick Wilson's prediction will come true: DeSantis has a glass jaw and will not survive the Republican primary process. (He's already decided he wouldn't survive CPAC this week, opting to appear at the Club for Growth meeting instead.)

But maybe we should opine on DeSantis after all. Because if a Florida legislator has his way, bloggers who write about Ronnie will have to register with the state — or pay up. Seems unconstitutional. But it's just one result of Sunshine State Republican lawmakers falling over each other to see who can best please Führer Ron. One member has even introduced a bill to outlaw the Florida Democratic Party entirely.

(Roll your eyes and/or giggle, but this is exactly what the Nazis did when they came to power in Germany in 1933. Sometimes, those Hitler analogies work.)

So it's all pretty astounding and scary, unless you agree with Rick Wilson that DeSantis will self-destruct. We're keeping an eye. In the meantime, as one of our favorite bloggers said today, "I was searching for places to go for a beach getaway for a few days. Usually, I'd be looking at Florida, but you can blow me, DeSantistan. I'm not giving you a fucking dime unless it's to help sane people move out of there." We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Rhonda makes a face because President Biden is getting all the post-Hurricane Ian attention. Ah, memories.)

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

In honor of Women's History Month, here is a possibly-AI-generated rendering of the Democratic nominee who should have been #45 — with a mullet and looking cool. We cats PURR.