Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Leo Can't Go Home Again

By Hubie and Bertie

Here's where the first American pope will spend the Fourth of July: Lampedusa, the southernmost island off Sicily, and the historical entry point for African refugees into Italy. It's also known for its pristine beaches, delicious cuisine, and Sea Turtle Recovery Center. Sounds fabulous — but surely Leo will use his visit to stress the importance of welcoming the refugee (or, as Jesus put it, the stranger).

This is where he's going instead of accepting the Trumpsters' invitation to celebrate Independence Day in a broiling-hot Washington, DC filled with Hitlerian Trump monuments. Can you blame him? Especially after what apparently happened at the Pentagon this past January.

Reports abound that a Defense Department under-secretary named Elbridge Colby summoned Cardinal Christophe Pierre, who at the time was the Vatican's ambassador to the US, and told him, "America has the military power to do whatever it wants in the world. The Catholic Church had better take its side." Rumor has it the Avignon Papacy was pointedly mentioned. The Cardinal was, um, not pleased.

And, it seems, neither was Leo. Not only has the Vatican permanently shelved any possible trip to the US for him in 2026, it's broadly hinting that the Pope may never come here at all — at least, not as long as this Administration is in charge. That must be disappointing for Benedict Donald, who loves to cozy up to famous folks who have golden gewgaws in their homes. Proximity to such people gives him validation.

Interestingly, Leo hasn't backed off his criticism of the Trumpsters one bit, and in fact has doubled down. So whatever the goal of this silly January meeting was, it looks like it backfired big-time.

Sadly, Americans who were hoping to see Il Papa toss out the first pitch for the Chicago White Sox this summer are out of luck. But we hope Leo enjoys some scuba diving and fresh seafood and couscous on Lampedusa instead. He deserves it. We cats PURR.

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