Tidbits and Cat Treats — Five Questions Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Can we nominate U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner as our Person of the Year? PURR!

And while we're at it, can we take just a moment to imagine how Republicans would have reacted if nearly every Democrat in the House of Representatives voted against a bill to help the 9/11 first responders? Goodness gracious. We cats didn't know that our furry little heads could spin that fast.

Can it be possible that right-wing scum Andrew Breitbart is seeking an audience with Shirley Sherrod? He must be scared of her lawsuit. Don't give him the time of day, Shirley!

Are we surprised that the cops in Oregon have closed the massage therapist's case against President Gore? Not! And here we were just wondering where that silly story had gone.

Are we glad that President Obama celebrated the success of the auto bailout and stuck it to the Republicans today? As the famous quitter from Alaska would say, you betcha.

It's Been 10 Days, and Andrew Breitbart Still Hasn't Apologized to Shirley Sherrod

But, grand news: She's suing his fat Republican ass. O joy!

Canadian Census Humour? Count Us In!

By Sniffles

What is it with right-wingers and the census? We cats don't understand what could possibly be so sinister about counting people. In America, the teabaggers' antipathy to the census is made even more hilarious by the fact that it's mandated by the very Constitution that they claim to love so madly and deeply.

In Canada — the country that conducted the first modern census in the western world — the right-wing minority Tory government has also, inexplicably, made counting its citizens suddenly controversial. About a month ago, citing a host of vague, stupid reasons, the Harperites announced that they were making Canada's mandatory long-form census voluntary in 2011. (What on earth good would a voluntary census do?) And they've run into a storm of protest as a result.

We cats are tired of people running government when they clearly don't believe in it. We saw how well that worked during eight years under Bush and Cheney.

But looking on the bright side, the Canadian census flap is a another excellent opportunity for humour, as our neighbors to the north spell it. We cats PURR at the creators of this amusing take on a Stephen Harper version of the long-form census. For a better look, read it here.

No Peace for the Peace Prize

By Baxter

Whew. If you're a police officer in the state of Arizona, you've got to be celebrating. Because thanks to a federal judge in Phoenix, you will not have to ask people you stop for speeding or other minor offenses for their "papers" tomorrow. That was a close one!

We cats have never understood why the teabagger crowd, which hates government so very, very much, is willing — nay, thrilled — to have an unfettered police state when it comes to dealing with illegal immigration. It's just one of their many inconsistencies which fascinate us.

Take the Nobel prizes, for example. We were led today to an interesting article in Newsweek about so-called "Thirteenthers." It's a long, hairy story, and you know how much we cats hate hairballs. But to summarize, right-wing Iowa Republicans who despise Barack Obama — sorry, is that redundant again? — want to "restore" a never-ratified 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. This amendment would have prohibited American citizens from accepting titles or honors conferred by foreign states.

Iowa Republicans who worked a little-noticed "Thirteenther" plank into their absurd state party platform last month were, apparently, registering their disgust with President Obama's recent Nobel Peace Prize. (They didn't care that accepting the amendment now would call into question the legitimacy of all subsequent Constitutional amendments. It's a little matter of how many states are in the union at the time an amendment is put to a vote, and thus how many are required for ratification. But, never mind.)

The whole "Thirteenther" thing is just one more example of how off-the-deep-end the right wing has become since they got their butts kicked at the ballot box in 2006 and 2008. But it intrigues us cats since we believe it begs the larger question of Republican antipathy to the Nobels.

We're sure that a search on Free Republic or any of the right-wing sites would reveal unceasing condemnation of Alfred N. and his pesky prizes — but most particularly of the one for peace. After all, look at all the notorious lefties who've won it lately: President Obama in 2009, Al Gore in 2007, Jimmy Carter in 2002 and the much-despised U.N. in 2001. And before that, dangerous characters like Nelson Mandela (1993), Willy Brandt (1971), Martin Luther King (1964), Lester Pearson (1957) and Jane Addams (1931) were honorees.

Of course, the Nobel Committee is not a foreign state, so the teabagging Iowa Republicans are, um, kinda all mixed up. But you can be sure they'd be singing a different tune if the peace prize had gone to Ronald Reagan in 1990.

Meanwhile, can we nominate U.S. District Judge Susan Bolton for a Nobel Peace Prize? Just wondering.

Memo to the Obama Administration: You Could Learn Something from the NHL

By Zamboni

Now that we've had a week to reflect on the Shirley Shirrod situation — an eon in the Internet age, we know — we cats have something to say.

Actually, to ask.

It's this: Why did the Agriculture Department sack her so quickly? Why didn't they just suspend her immediately, with pay, pending an investigation? That's what the National Hockey League would do.

Heck, a Philadelphia Flyer can take his stick and try to decapitate an opponent — with malice. And the immediate consequence? He'd be suspended until the League office could do their... well, their officious thing. In Ms. Sherrod's case, she'd have been completely exonerated within 24 hours. Which would have meant simply this: no need to fire her.

Very disappointing behavior on the part of the so-called good guys.

Here's the deal, Obama gang: It was always combat. But even though you've won the White House, it's still combat. Let's act that way, okay?

It's Been Six Days, and Andrew Breitbart Still Hasn't Apologized to Shirley Sherrod

Shall we keep a running count?

We cats vote yes — although we fear that all nine of our lives (and maybe more) will pass before that disgusting Republican race-baiter does the right thing.

(P.S.: "Republican race-baiter"? Redundant, no?)

Rush to Judgment, Harper Style

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are disgusted that the Obama Administration caved so quickly — and so needlessly — on Shirley Shirrod's alleged "racism."

But at least the Sherrod farce has been exposed — and, we hope, eventually will be put right. We can't quite say the same for what's going on north of the border, though.

Mind you: We're not saying that Helena Guergis is a Canadian Shirley Shirrod. Quite the contrary, in fact: The American we're most tempted to compare Guergis to is the famous quitter from Alaska. Guergis is a light-weight former beauty queen who, like Sarah Palin, was catapulted into a position which she did not deserve and which was far beyond any real ability she may or may not have possessed.

But back in April, Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper booted Ms. Guergis from the Tory caucus and stripped her of her ministerial portfolio. And we still don't know exactly why.

There were allegations that she had helped her husband, a former MP, develop a fraudulent business scheme; there also were allegations of cocaine and other drug use.

Yet now the Royal Canadian Mounted Police has closed their investigation of Guergis and her husband. But she's still banished from Harper World. Why?

"It appears that the Prime Minister overreacted based on the flimsiest of evidence," said one MP. Sound familiar?

We cats are no fans of Helena Guergis. But we're shocked that Stephen Harper has not been taken to task for his silence on why he sacked her. Unlike the Sherrod drama, the Guergis affair has taken — amazingly, in this age of the Internet — three months to unfold. Why is Harper not pressed for an answer?

Last of the Murrow Boys

By Sniffles

The knowledge that Daniel Schorr graced this planet for 93 long years is satisfying, but doesn't erase our sadness at his death.

His dedication to freedom of the press and his refusal to be cowed by those in power made him a true American patriot. Our country is a better place because Daniel Schorr was born, lived and worked here.

As for us, our Saturday mornings will be the poorer for his loss, and we will miss him.

Mistakes Were Made

By Baxter

Shall we all pile onto the Shirley Sherrod story? Although we cats usually try to talk about topics that aren't being discussed absolutely everywhere else, we'd be remiss if we didn't comment on this one. And we have just a few things to say.

Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack appropriately groveled this afternoon. He deserved to. But in today's political environment it was also an act of rare courage. Why? Because in addition to apologizing profusely and offering Ms. Sherrod another job, he took questions from real-live reporters. That's more than Sarah Palin, Rand Paul or Sharron Angle would do.

If Shirley Sherrod can be offered a new job at Ag, why can't she have her old one back? Just wondering.

Finally, the next time FOX "News" and repulsive Republican bloggers try to gin up a fake "you gotta fire this person in the Administration" story, they need to be told to go fuck themselves. Got that, Democrats?

Idaho GOP at Teabaggers' "Beck" and Call

By Zamboni

So the Senate has finally voted to give relief to unemployed Americans — thanks to Robert Byrd's successor from West Virginia, who helped Democrats overcome heartless Republican obstructionism today. And Elena Kagan is one step closer to her new job. (The nuts posting at Free Republic must be foaming over Lindsay Graham's vote as we speak.) But our thoughts this afternoon bend toward the great state of Idaho.

Why? Because the teabaggers there are draping the GOP with the most delicious albatross ever.

See, a mental case — coincidentally named "Beck" — is so mad that he's been denied victory in recent Republican state primaries that he marshaled his forces at the recent GOP state convention and rammed through a bunch of teabagger changes in the state party platform. Based on an extreme interpretation of states' rights — the kind "that plunged the nation into [the] Civil War," according to one Constitutional expert — the platform now "urges Idaho to seize federal land, recommends ending popular elections of U.S. senators and sings the praises of gold and silver — an inflation hedge to U.S. Federal Reserve-issued greenbacks."

Beck and his fellow extremists may be celebrating, but the state and national GOP should be bracing for a huge migraine. That's because, as reported by Yahoo news, the platform also requires that in 2012, "all Idaho GOP primary hopefuls will be asked to pledge support for the party platform or declare where they disagree [with it]. Beck says it should help voters identify those officials who aren't really Republicans."

As Flounder said during the wrecking of the homecoming parade in the movie "Animal House," "This is SO GREAT." Democrats shouldn't pop the cork yet, but they can start chilling the champagne.

Rabid teabagger litmus tests! What could be better? And let's not stop at the state level. The Idaho Republican Party should make all the 2012 GOP Presidential wannabees subscribe to this platform. We can't think of any better way to keep Republicans from enjoying the support of their extremist base without having to disavow the reprehensible views that that base holds.

"Leading the way," indeed! We cats PURR.