It's The Midterms, And Democrats Are Cookin'

By Hubie and Bertie

This Canadian Thanksgiving, we cats are grateful for the Security Service of Ukraine (SBU), which destroyed a large number of Russian-backed bot farms over the last few days. The Ukrainians shut down huge networks that push pro-Russian narratives about the war — and about our politics here at home. Twitter and Bluesky peeps have noticed a sudden dearth of bots in their feeds. Nice work, SBU!

No wonder Benedict Donald, Vlad Putin's biggest fan, is so mad.

It's unclear how long the bots will be offline, but everyone should enjoy the silence while it lasts. It gives us more time and head space to prepare for November 3. The midterms are underway, with early voting beginning in eight more states this week:

• October 13 — Georgia and Idaho
• October 14 — Iowa, Rhode Island, and Tennessee
• October 15 — North Carolina
• October 17 — Massachusetts and Nevada

And don't forget that October 17 is also No Kings Day! Plan to attend an early-voting-themed rally near you!

Meanwhile, here are a couple of handy tips for what to watch out for on Election Night.

First, keep your eye on Virginia, where the Trumpsters are playing defense in some key Congressional races, even though the Democrats' redistricting plan got tossed by the courts. Governor Abigail Spanberger told reporter Scott MacFarlane, "We are on a strong path to flipping multiple seats. I say: three. On a great night, it could be four." Why? Hispanic voters are furious at Trump, so watch for returns from VA-01 and VA-02 early in the evening (polls in Virginia close at 7 PM).

Another poll closure to note will be in the Florida Panhandle, which votes ruby-red. It's also in Central time, so if the clock strikes 8 PM Eastern and the networks don't instantly call the Senate race for Ashley Moody, Republicans will be having a bad night in Florida.

Finally, it'll be fun to see what happens in NJ-07, which was without a Congressman for months this year when Tom Kean, Jr. went AWOL. Sabato's Crystal Ball has moved the race from a "Toss-Up" to "Leans Democratic." Polls close in New Jersey at 8 PM. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Dignity, always dignity.)

Oh, Blake! (The Sequel)

By Zamboni

We cats didn't expect to be back on the Blake Gendebien beat so soon, but the online politicos are agog today about a new Siena poll that shows him leading the unappealing Sticker Mule CEO Anthony Constantino for Congress in NY-21, 46 percent to 42 percent. (Blake's on the left in the image above.)

This poll is within the margin of error, but it just adds to the pileup of headlines painting dire pictures for the Republicans in the run-up to the midterms. Elise "Elsie" Stefanik's would-be GOP successor running behind his Democratic opponent ranks right up there with other bad tidings for the Trumpsters — like the fact that there's a competitive Senate race in Kansas, of all places, or that Cook Political Report just shifted 18 more House ratings (including NY-21) the Democrats' way.

NY-21 hasn't elected a Democrat to the House since Bill Owens's re-election in 2012. It's tempting to view the Siena poll as symbolic of Trump's toxicity, but there are a number of reasons for this.

The Republicans had a messy primary. MAGAt Constantino ran against Assemblyman Robert Smullen, the establishment's choice, and went after him as you'd imagine any Trumpster would do. Things got so nasty that at one point, Smullen refused to shake Constantino's hand at an event. (Bad look.) Defamation lawsuits were flying. Some have declined to endorse Mr. Sticker Mule, with the Conservative Party (yes, New York is weird) leaving their ballot line blank rather than support him.

Constantino is volatile and unserious. Which is a polite way of saying that he behaves just like the malevolent Toddler-in-Chief. For example, the last time a poll showed him trailing Gendebien in the race, Constantino threatened to sue the pollster, SurveyUSA, and sic the FCC on the poll's sponsor, NewsChannel 13 in Albany. This is not the way a sensible grown-up conducts himself.

People are tired of the shtick. Polls and races across the country have shown voters' weariness with Benedict Donald and his entire road show of fear, chaos, and division. Constantino embodies all that.

Trump's trade war with Canada is killing the North Country. Constantino supports Donald's ridiculous tariffs, which is an incredibly stupid position to take in a district that views Canada as a neighbor and essential economic partner. But Constantino worships at the altar of Trump.

Blake Gendebien is a good candidate. Like other Democrats — like Adam Hamilton in Kansas — Blake is a thoughtful, non-bombastic person who listens to voters and addresses their concerns. He opposes the Trump policies that raise prices on NY-21's farmers and businesses. All of which means that even if he weren't leading Sticker Mule Man in the polls, we'd still be writing postcards for him. We cats PURR.

Shrinkage

 

By Hubie and Bertie

We cats love this photo pair, mostly because inflatables should be banned from planet Earth. But it's also a potential metaphor for the state of the Republican Party.

Larry Sabato from the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia has flagged a new Gallup poll of party identification: For the third quarter of 2026, respondents who identified with the Democratic Party led those who aligned with the GOP, 50 percent to 39 percent.

"Pay attention to this one," he says. "Plus-eleven D for party ID = largest Dem lead since early 2009 (Obama inauguration).

"Gallup is not just another poll; it’s the gold standard."

Sabato refuses, though, to predict that the midterms will wipe out the Republican Party for now and ever, which is sad, because we're convinced that the only way the country will be saved is if the GOP is destroyed and rebuilt — think 1850s-style stuff. Kind of like how colleges need to completely root out fraternities from their campuses. Just our $0.02. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Beatty Rips Trump Down

By Sniffles

We cats admit that we're not necessarily up to snuff on the arts. We became vaguely aware of some kerfuffle involving Robert Kraft (whom we, ugh, know), Ed Sheeran (haven't got a clue), and someone named Macklemore (ditto). Since Kraft was involved, we figured the other two guys were... football players? Boy, were we wrong. (Cats are only occasionally wrong, mind you, but honest when we are.)

Turns out Sheeran and Macklemore are a British singer/songwriter and an American rapper, respectively. But okay, the arts encompass all sorts of disciplines, so we can work with this. Whatever their current troubles, Sheeran and Macklemore are being messed with by a billionaire Trumpster who got off the hook for paying for sex at a massage parlor and whose name appears in the Epstein files.

In short, MAGA world doesn't have a lot of respect for the arts. Especially Benedict Donald, who was photographed through a window on Bribe Force One last night reading a document with the headline "Kennedy Center Demolished." The New York Times figured that was a stunt — Trump trolling the commie liberals and bleeding hearts. But when you recall his rush to tear down the East Wing nearly a year ago, you know with dread that with him, anything is possible.

Especially now that he's suffered multiple humiliations in one week — on Iran, voting by mail, Canada, the EU, and the Federal Reserve Board. But did any of those top the fact that he was also taken to the verbal woodshed by a Black woman? Trump is a racist, so the answer is no.

Trump "went into a tantrum" at this week's Kennedy Center board meeting on Zoom, Congresswoman Joyce Beatty said. "I mean, let me just make it simple. It was the most unprofessional thing that I've ever witnessed or been a part of. He went into name-calling, everything from trying to say that I was an obstructionist, I was dumb. He said, 'I think you're incompetent.' And I said, 'I know you're incompetent.'

"I reminded him that he had more bankruptcies than anybody in the room," Beatty said. "I mean, it really went there, because I was not going to let him bully me, intimidate me."

So, it appears Tantrum Trump has sent his goons to put fencing around the Kennedy Center and is moving in heavy equipment, even though Judge Christopher Cooper has forbidden any demolition or construction work without 30 days' notice. (Trump doesn't care.) It's amazing that he would risk such bad optics seven weeks before the midterms, but in his current cognitive decline, he's ruled by his emotions and cravings, not logic. The President of the United States, folks. We cats HISS.

Clearing The Air

By Baxter

Has Grindr crashed in Dallas yet?

Maybe not, because from what we can tell, there are a lot of empty seats at the Trumpy "mini-convention" that kicked off tonight. Which means that a smattering of the MAGA faithful will revel in an anodyne video from Democratic Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, leaving the rest of us to fulminate on social media.

We cats choose not to engage. Fetterman clearly has suffered some major damage from his 2022 stroke, and we hope that he reassesses his life choices, steps away from the Senate, and gets further help. Maybe he could even resign his seat now and let Josh Shapiro appoint a successor. But that's all we have to say about that.

Meanwhile, we are just back in the country from two weeks away, and from the headlines we've been scanning, the most despicable development has been the manufactured brouhaha over Mayor Zohran Mamdani's attendance at Friday's 9/11 memorial event. What ridiculous performative bullshit this is.

Mamdani is the duly elected mayor of New York City. He will be at the memorial, and the bigots can just suck it up.

But Rudy Giuliani? Maybe he should take a pass. It seems pretty clear that Rudy, the MAGAts, and Trumpsters are pissed that Mamdani released all those documents that showed how New Yorkers were misled about their air quality after the attacks. Surely that's the reason the Republicans have all gone big-time Islamaphobe these last few days. But whatever their motivation, it is despicable. Let's toss all these awful people out of office, shall we? We cats PURR.

Give Hoekstra The Hook

By Zamboni

Canadian disgust with Donald Trump is still going strong. While Ontario Premier Doug Ford has been hinting that he could restore US alcohol to his province's shelves under certain conditions — spoiler alert, Doug, Canadians still won't buy it — a new front has opened up on the "We Used to Like You but Now We Hate You" war.

More than 171,000 Canadians have signed a petition to toss Trump's odious US ambassador, Pete Hoekstra, from the country. This is a lot when you consider that an online petition only needs 500 signatures to be officially considered by the House of Commons.

Good on you, Canada! Hoekstra has been a particularly disturbing ambassador. Not only has he made careless and insulting comments about US-Canadian relations — supporting Benedict Donald's "51st state" nonsense, for example — he has ties to leaders in the Alberta separatist movement. Why should Canada tolerate a US ambassador who is possibly fomenting the dissolution of their country behind the scenes? The US wouldn't stand for it. Why should they?

Add to that the fact that Hoekstra is an asshole, and we wholeheartedly endorse this movement — even though it could put Prime Minister Mark Carney in a dicey spot. (We're confident that he could find a clever, Trump-frustrating way to handle it.) Meanwhile, we cats PURR.

Down Days For Donald

By Miss Kubelik

Benedict Donald and his merry band of haters and traitors seem to be crumbling. Nothing is going right for them. The economy just slowed again in the second quarter. The pointlessly stupid war in Iran continues to get bigger. The egregious SAVE Act is stalled. And the Todd Blanche nomination is hitting Cornyn- and Tillis-sized speed bumps. Trump has burned too many bridges with Republicans who, unbelievably, have just recently figured out that he doesn't care about them.

If he did care, he wouldn't do stupid things like announce an early end to the Biden-era Medicare Part D subsidies. This is going to drive up medication costs for millions of seniors — but not until after the midterms. No problemo for the GOP, then, right? Wrong.

Insurers in most states will have to notify beneficiaries well before Election Day about their rate increases for next year, to give them time to shop for better plans, if they can find them. Open Enrollment begins on Thursday, October 15. 

Whoops! Sorry, Republicans. Your team in the White House just isn't very smart. (And Democrats, start messaging about this immediately.) We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

All Fouled Up

By Sniffles

When we look back on the nightmare that was Trump 2.0, we'll be grateful for their incompetence.

There are too many examples of Trump ineptitude to cite, so let's just focus on the one from this past Thursday, when federal prosecutors were embarrassed into withdrawing the subpoenas they inflicted on three New York Times reporters for writing about Trump's Air Force One clusterfuck. Here's hoping that the attorneys involved get referred for disciplinary action and/or disbarment.

The Trumpsters also are still hell-bent on bringing ridiculous charges like the ones against David Hearn for allegedly vandalizing the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. It's idiotic — the Sandwich Guy case all over again. Are we really doing this? Yes, apparently we are.

We can also be thankful that the White House staff was stupid enough to advise Benedict Donald to speak at last night's White House Correspondents Dinner, which its organizers really need to rethink, by the way. The event has long outlived its usefulness — but in the meantime, how cringey was it that Trump tried to joke his way through a mean-spirited and pointless hour-long speech to dead silence? The attendees should have stood up and walked out, but making Donald endure endless minutes of flop-sweat does have its appeal.

Nevertheless, the hell with all of them: Trump, the worst person to have ever walked the face of the earth, and the inside-the-Beltway journalists who enable him. They are equally despicable. We cats HISS.

The Show That Should Not Go On

By Miss Kubelik

Remember those subpoenas that Todd Blanche and the Department of Justice sent to New York Times reporters and their families? As Gilda Radner would say, never mind. They've been withdrawn.

That's because US District Judge Arun Subramanian raked prosecutors over the coals today, telling them that if they didn't take the subpoenas back, he would quash them. Team Blanche bleated and moaned for an hour or so, but finally cried uncle and withdrew.

The Times's sin? Reporting on a matter of national security. That is, that Trump had been flying around on a Qatari "Air Force One" that was seriously lacking in defensive capabilities. Don't get us wrong — we couldn't care less about Benedict Donald's safety and well-being. We just believe that the President of the United States should be protected when he flies. It's the patriotic way to be. 

And clearly, the Trumpsters agreed, because they quickly flew the old, non-Qatari Air Force One overseas to fetch Trump back from his foreign travels, making up a lame story about how "the troops" wanted to see the new jet, and you know, he just couldn't deny them. What a crock. And now, Trump says the Qatari jet is going to be "maxed out." What, like a credit card? We don't get it.

Anyway. It's still ironic that the DOJ took such umbrage, subpoenaing not only the Times journalists but their spouses. Richard Nixon and John Mitchell must be spinning in hell in jealousy. And please note that the person who signed the subpoenas was Manhattan US Attorney Jay Clayton — you know, that DNI nominee whom Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff destroyed in a hearing last week?

Sickeningly, it appears that the "replacement" White House Correspondents Dinner, which was arranged after the original one erupted in gunfire or something, is still set for tomorrow night, with Benedict Donald as the "honored guest." God help us. One WHCD a year is bad enough, but two — and for someone like Trump? Ugh.

A group of 500 journalists has sent a letter to the Correspondents Association, urging everyone to get into Donald's face and defend press freedom, and not just spend the dinner twiddling their forks and pretending that Trump is normal. Yeah, like that will happen. The dinner is being run by Weijia Jang, White House correspondent for — wait for it — CBS News, so it's unlikely that she'll want to annoy her boss, the notoriously Donald-friendly Bari Weiss.

The rescheduled White House Correspondents Dinner, like the DOJ New York Times subpoenas, is a deception and a Trump-era sham. We cats won't be watching, and we HISS.

(IMAGE: The scene at the WHCD in April. Looks like fun, doesn't it?)

Let The Combat Begin

By Miss Kubelik

One thing is certain: There is no shortage of awful people in South Carolina jockeying for Lindsey Graham's Senate seat.

Nancy Mace, surely, has been working the phones since midnight. Others in the mix include Pamela Evette, Nikki Haley, Joe Wilson, Ralph Norman, Russell Fry... the list goes on. All possibilities. All gross.

The good news is that they are so many, because the best outcome would be a knock-'em-sock-'em, dirty-double-crossing cat fight of a special primary that will kick off with filing day, July 21. The primary itself could take place in mid-August. Then we'll see what happens on Election Day, November 3.

Meanwhile, the governor will no doubt appoint a fill-in Senator, who could then also compete in the primary, or just be a caretaker until whoever wins in November takes over. We don't care — as long as the candidates rip each other to shreds over the next few weeks.

One thing we don't want is for Benedict Donald to put his thumb on the scale and clear the field. But even if he does that (and he's threatening to), the Democratic candidate, Dr. Annie Andrews, would be handed an excellent talking point — something like "First, Republicans try to pick their voters by gerrymandering. Now, they're trying to pick South Carolina's possible next Senator. Dictator Donald is denying you a choice." (Team Andrews, please wordsmith it.)

Speaking of Dr. Andrews, today would be an excellent day to send her a campaign contribution. Do it for Lindsey! We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: This Lindsey Laff is being shared on social media and is AI-generated. As for the newspaper... well, IYKYK. We cats PURR.)

Time For Some Serious Bunny Butt

By Zamboni

The "sudden passing" of Lady Lindsey Graham calls for some down-the-rabbit-hole time, folks. Get ready.

For all his (many) faults, Graham was a firm supporter of Ukraine, and often served as the designated hoser-down on Benedict Donald's love for Putin (and contempt for Zelenskyy). In fact, he had just gotten back from Ukraine yesterday — Margaret Brennan of CBS reports that she spoke to him on Friday before he left Kyiv.

"He was excited to share the news that the Trump White House had finally given him the green light for Congress to move his long-sought bill to put significant financial penalties on Russia by punishing buyers of Russian oil," Brennan said. Hmmm... that doesn't sound like something Vlad would like, does it?

Now, check out this tweet by Sir William Browder, author of the Magnitsky Act.

"Not to be a conspiracy theorist," he said, "but Lindsey Graham was the leading driver of the devastating sanctions bill against Russia... he had just returned from Ukraine, where it's not unknown for Russian agents to operate. Russians are expert at administration of poisons that look like heart attacks. All tests should be done immediately to rule out foul play. I've seen enough Russian-related suspicious deaths to know this is the only course of action."

Oh, Bill, do please indulge in conspiracies. We're already awash in them with Mitch McConnell. (And here's the kicker: If Putin decided to off Lindsey, that means Benedict Donald knew. Prove us wrong.)

With Lindsey, as with Mitch, social media is the place to be for ghoulish grins today. MAGA might be appalled, but their behavior is hardly exemplary (see: Trump's tweet on the death of Robert Mueller), and besides, it's so much fun to mock the newly deceased when it's someone like Graham. As the old saying goes, the dead should make it harder for us to speak ill of them. Stay tuned for our comments on the South Carolina Senate race. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

A Hot Take On July 4

By Sniffles

We're about to observe the 250th anniversary of the American colonies' Declaration of Independence from England, but we might have to admit that sometimes the British have a good idea or two. As in, if you have a King, maybe celebrate his birthday when the weather is good.

Charles III, for example, just presided over that grand spectacle, the Trooping of the Colour, as his mum did before him. Elizabeth II was actually born in April, a month that can be unreliable and squally, and Charles made his first appearance in dreary late November. June can more easily promise sunshine and warmth.

Conversely, if you want cooler temperatures, perhaps it would be better for some national observances to move to earlier or later in the year — rather than in, say, early July when everything is beastly hot.

Especially this year. Thanks to a summer supercharged by climate change and a strong El Niño, North America and Europe are baking in unbearable heat waves this week. But we're stuck with the fact that the founders signed the Declaration on the Fourth. So even if Benedict Donald's offensive "Freedom 250 state fair" was appealing, well-managed, and in good taste, 105-degree temperatures in DC will keep the already-sparse crowds down even more. Sad!

Here's a suggestion for when sane people return to power in Washington: Global warming ain't going away. Let's follow the example of the Britons, and move our Independence Day celebrations to a different, potentially more temperate, date. In fact, why not center them around the Constitution instead? We could mark the anniversary of its framing (September 17, 1787) or the day it took effect (March 4, 1789).

After all, since Trump has been violating the damn thing every day since he got back into office, our poor, abused Supreme Law of the Land could maybe use a little love. Just a thought. We cats PURR.

Don't Tell Donald

 

Who had a bigger crowd this weekend? The Montreal Alouettes in their game tonight against Ottawa? Or Benedict Donald's mishap-laden "Great State Fair" in Washington? You be the judge! We cats PURR.

"There May Be Trouble Ahead"

By Zamboni

We all know by now that Benedict Donald is a malignant narcissist, right? Heck, way back in 2019, someone who knew him well wrote a whole article on it. "Trump's ingrained and extreme behavioral characteristics make it impossible for him to carry out the duties of the presidency in the way the Constitution requires," said George Conway.

Since then, things have gotten worse — much worse. Donald's tendencies are showing themselves more and more, past his handlers' ability to contain. The most recent ones are almost too numerous to list. But check out this description and see if it doesn't fit Trump to a tee:

"Malignant narcissists are driven by an underlying sense of profound inadequacy, shame, and a desperate need to avoid being perceived as weak. Because their ego is entirely reliant on maintaining an illusion of superiority, they fear humiliation above all else."

Why? "Beneath their grandiose and often ruthless exterior lies a deeply insecure core. To compensate for their fragile self-worth, they utilize control and dominance. Humiliation strips away the power and leverage they use to manipulate others."

Wow. We can all marvel at how millions of people could look at someone like Trump and say, yeah, I want that guy in the Oval Office instead of the smart Black lady. (Or the smart white lady eight years ago.) But the bit about humiliation is worth worrying about. Because Donald has had a lot of it lately. Reflecting pool, anyone?

And tonight, there's more: The Senate has passed the Iran War Powers Act, 50 to 48. (Cassidy, Collins, Murkowski, and Paul voted "yes." McConnell and McCormick were absent.) With the House having passed it already, it heads to Trump's desk. He'll veto it, of course — reminding zillions of midterm voters how much they hate the stupid war and what it's done to their pocketbooks. Tomorrow's Senate luncheon should be mighty interesting, yes? (Trump is planning to attend.) In the meantime, though, his behavior is concerning: A cornered narcissist is capable of just about anything. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The reflecting pool at the Obama Presidential Center, Chicago. This is how you do it.)

Battered.

By Baxter

Are we the only ones who thought that Benedict Donald went into the Meet the Press interview intending to walk out from the get-go? Trump has been playing the press for 10 years — more than that if you count his years as a C-list New York mobster — and journalists from the Beltway and beyond have still not figured that out.

That's why you have Kristen Welker sputtering nonsense like "I traveled all the way to Wisconsin for this interview." That's why you have NBC decorating the set like it was something out of Green Acres. (Tractors? Bales of hay? Please.) That's why we all saw Welker kissing up to Donald afterward, claiming that "We had a substantial conversation on issues from the war in Iran to the economy, blah blah blah." 

What crap. If that was a "substantial conversation," we cats are eating Alpo for breakfast tomorrow.

There might not be anything more painful than witnessing someone give respect to someone who doesn't deserve it (and who dishes out only contempt in return). The dizzying cross-talk between Trump and Welker was Exhibit A on that, and it was torturous to watch.

The press is in an abusive relationship with Benedict Donald. Until one journalist truly stands up for his colleagues — yep, it has to be a man — and calls out all the bullshit, the abuse will continue. And the corporate media overlords will keep raking in the cash from eyeballs, clicks, and likes. As Joe Biden would say, "C'mon, man!" We cats HISS.

John Cornyn Ass-Snorkels Trump, Gets Beat Anyway

By Miss Kubelik

As Richard Nixon liked to say, let's make one thing perfectly clear: Benedict Donald's endorsement did not make Ken Paxton's Senate runoff victory in Texas possible yesterday. Benedict Donald made the (late) endorsement because he already knew that Paxton was going to win. The MAGA tea leaves were clear, and you know how Trump hates to be associated with losers.

Which means that not only is there a clearer path for Democrat James Talarico to get elected in November, but Texas Republicans just threw away more than two decades of Senate seniority for their state. (The 49 other states in the union say, "Thanks, guys!") And the relationship between the GOP Senate caucus and the White House just got uglier. Get ready for some fun when lawmakers return to DC next week.

It's doubtful that John Cornyn will take advantage of the fact that he's been unleashed. We don't see him going anti-Trump the way Senator Bill Cassidy did after he lost in Louisiana. Most likely — because he's a traditional dude, a near-Senate-Majority Leader, and an institutionalist — he'll remain mostly silent about his humiliation. But we can't say the same for his supporters.

Talarico wisely held out an olive branch to Cornyn voters last night, assuring them that they were welcome in his camp. So it'll be interesting to see what, for example, the Lone Star State's blue-haired Barbara Bush ladies do going forward. Surely they're appalled at their official Senate candidate. Will they close their checkbooks? Probably. Will they even show up to vote? Uncertain. Or will they do the right thing and turn out for the Democratic seminarian in November? To the GOP's consternation, it's possible. We cats PURR.

Cat Fight! John Cornyn Vs. Ken Paxton

By Baxter

If you want to find some fun this Memorial Day weekend, look no further than Texas, where John Cornyn and Ken Paxton are scrapping like mad, wet cats before Tuesday's Republican Senate runoff.

"In a race that’s been defined by personal shots, the latest online dust-up between the two underscores the difficult path forward for the Texas GOP," POLITICO reports. "The fighting between the two camps has gotten so ugly that some Republicans are fearful it will dampen turnout in the midterms, hurt down-ticket Republicans — and possibly cost them the seat." (Yes, please.)

Meanwhile, we cats have returned from being away a few days to find the "Senate-Republicans-are-livid-about-Trump's-Paxton-endorsement" story still going strong. Kind of surprising since they're mad about a whole bunch of things — particularly about Benedict Donald's zillion-dollar terrorist slush fund. (After all, they can read a poll.)

But it's not difficult to understand they're so pissed about Trump stiffing Cornyn. John Cornyn may be an unexciting institutionalist to the MAGA faithful (and to anyone else who gives him at least a moment's thought), but in GOP circles he's been a prodigious fund-raiser. He chaired the National Republican Senatorial Committee during the 2010 and 2012 election cycles, and has always been tight with the moneybags types. And he's been generous to his Senate colleagues.

Imagine if you're a baby Republican from a state like, say, North Dakota, with a limited universe in which to raise cash. A good fund-raising friend like Cornyn can not only help get you elected/re-elected, he can help keep the Senate in your party's hands so you can taste at least a little bit of power on Capitol Hill.

If you drill down far enough — and it usually doesn't take long — you'll find that every story like this springs from a question of money. What will Senate Republicans do for spare change, without their longtime friends John Cornyn and (since he's retiring) Mitch McConnell? They could end up in the minority, and guys like Ken Paxton won't raise a dime for them. But he'll post a few mean tweets. We cats PURR.

Paxton Wins Endorsement — Cornyn, Senate Republicans, And Texas Kids All Lose

By Hubie and Bertie

The Republican Senate runoff in Texas is next Tuesday, May 26. And now the hapless incumbent, John Cornyn, has gotten a nasty surprise.

Benedict Donald had neglected to support either Cornyn or his crazy and corrupt primary opponent, state Attorney General Ken Paxton — even though he had promised an endorsement ages ago. Then, he somehow let it slide, and some pundits and observers were wondering if he'd just stand aside and let things play out.

Well, not anymore. Today, Trump endorsed Paxton.

Cornyn is stunned, and Senate Republicans are furious. Paxton, they believe, is the much weaker candidate, so Trump may have just handed the seat to Democrat James Talarico (wouldn't it be loverly)? Majority Leader John Thune, who had been lobbying Donald for Cornyn, tried to get past reporters without saying much of anything beyond "It's his decision." We cats offer a shake of the hand and a fat Daniel Webster cigar to the first journalist who asks, "And you're surprised?"

Any Republican who's shocked by this is too stupid to be in the Senate. But there they are. It's baffling how they continue to delude themselves about the malevolent toddler who controls their party. Each one of these guys is certain that he'll be the one to figure out, sidestep, or somehow survive Trump's wrath.

And one other thing: If they had been paying attention, they would have noticed Paxton's "settlement" with Texas Children's Hospital last week. The unholy agreement is making the hospital pay $10 million in Medicaid reimbursements (even though it denies any fraud took place), fire five doctors who provided gender-affirming care, and establish a "detransition clinic" (ugh). In other words, Texas Children's caved to Paxton and agreed to bully trans kids.

Did these shocked Republicans not figure out that maybe Paxton timed the settlement to force an endorsement in his Senate race? After all, transgender people are one of the groups at the top of Trump's hate list. It's kind of beyond coincidental, don't you think? We cats HISS.

"Play-It-Down-The-Middle" Bill Cassidy Loses Big

By Sniffles

Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy lost his primary for re-election yesterday. In fact, he came in third. The last Republican Senator to come up this short was Luther Strange in Alabama, in 2017.

But Luther Strange didn't vote to convict Benedict Donald in his second impeachment trial. So there you go. (We'll see if the Trumpsters can similarly unseat Kentucky Rep. Thomas Massie on Tuesday.)

We cats are not crying big tears over Dr. Cassidy, since he compromised all his principles to shepherd through RFK Jr.'s confirmation as HHS secretary. Sorry, Bill — you've actually also violated your Hippocratic oath. Allying with the Trumpsters not only has put Americans at risk but has been a death sentence for thousands of people abroad who depended on support from USAID. We don't know how you can live with yourself, but perhaps you have some innovative coping mechanisms.

Anyway, as the saying goes, Everything Trump Touches Dies. The other interesting aspect of yesterday's election is that Democratic turnout was nearly 345,000 votes — a respectable number in a crazily red state. We're thinking that people of color and other minorities don't like it when the ruling class decides to try to erase them. Maybe they channel that anger by turning out to vote instead. We cats PURR.

You Should Be Dancing, Yeah

By Sniffles

Sir David Attenborough's birthday bash in London wasn't the only fabulous party this weekend. Hungary's new Prime Minister, Péter Magyar, took the oath of office yesterday in Budapest amid daylong celebrations that inspired some, shall we say, ecstatic moves from the incoming Health Minister, Zsolt Hegedűs.

Here's a reminder, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: The Trumpsters were so openly rooting for Hungary's far-right, anti-EU autocrat, Viktor Orbán, that they sent the Vice President of the United States, JD Vance, over there last month to campaign for him. Disgusting and humiliating — for Vance. Orbán lost in a landslide. Someday, Americans will be able to dance like this, too. We cats PURR.