Welcome The Stranger (And The Strange)

By Miss Kubelik

More than 260,000 Canadians have signed a petition to Parliament to send Donald Trump's US ambassador Pete Hoekstra back to the US, never to return. In the meantime, though, Canada is kinda stuck. Hoekstra is where he is, and sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Meaning, invite the cretin to something you'd rather not have him anywhere near, like the 25th anniversary September 11 commemoration ceremony in Gander, Newfoundland. Ugh.

The town known worldwide for its graciousness, decency, and above-and-beyond friendliness on 9/11 will have its character tested by hosting someone who's completely ungracious, Trumpily indecent, and openly hostile. "The Town of Gander says its invitation to Hoekstra was protocol, not an endorsement," CTV reports. But internet wags have suggested a sequel to the hit musical "Come From Away," in which the residents of Gander throw Hoekstra's ass out.

We'll keep an eye on this story for you, because Benedict Donald will be sucking up all the oxygen in the American media's coverage of the anniversary. But less than a week out, we have to just say that Canadians are sick of Team Trump's insults — maybe madder about those than all the ridiculous tariffs in the world.

They're sick of the annexation "jokes," the lake renaming, the mocking of Canadian military cadets, and the "nasty" accusations. Prime Minister Mark Carney, with three recent Liberal by-election victories and his Parliamentary majority strengthened, made it clear: The Americans, he said have to "stop doing memes, stop throwing shade, stop trying to be tough, and start being serious," he said. We cats PURR.

"Farther Below, Lake Ontario Takes In What Lake Erie Can Send Her"

MapQuest is getting in on the fun: If you'd like to rename Lake Ontario yourself, just click here. We cats PURR.

De Adder Du Jour (1)

(IMAGE: Michael de Adder, deAdder.net)

Picking Fights With Canada Makes You A Loser

We don't often agree with Ontario Premier Doug Ford, but today's an exception. Translation: After he said that Trump was a bully who would "take your lunch money one day," he said that Trump would "take your toque off your head the next day." You're welcome. We cats PURR.

Canada Hates Us, And That's Not Good

By Miss Kubelik

It's pretty amazing how things have worked out politically in Canada since Benedict Donald manged to convince 77 million Americans to vote for him in 2024. (We're assuming that some buyers' remorse has set in since then... but to be honest, we're not sure.)

Even if it hasn't, sentiments north of our border have changed — and solidified. Sad to say that Canadians' view of the US has turned decidedly for the worse. They don't want to buy our booze, visit Florida, or cross into Michigan, Maine, or New York State to go shopping. And now, with this week's collapse in trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has made it very clear how his countrymen feel about America under the sway of Benedict Donald and his hateful minions.

"We’ve recognized from the start that America has changed," Carney said today. "We recognize that sometimes, its signature is written in pencil. We cannot accept what they offered, and we will not give what they asked." Thank you, Prime Minister, for your bold words.

Since January 2025, we cats have not understood why Canada should be forced to deal with American assholes on trade, defense, or any other issues. Yep, times have been kinda tense before — Diefenbaker and JFK were not the best of friends, for example. But the relationship between our two countries has never been as strained as it is now.

Why should Canada have to negotiate with a jailbird and an Epstein pal? But maybe that's just us. We live for the day when President Ossoff can appoint somebody to the post in Ottawa who can repair relations. Whoever it is will have a lot of work to do. We cats HISS. 

Oliver!

 

By Baxter

So this is the best funeral urn we've ever seen. Jazz legend Oliver Jones was honored with a public viewing at Montreal's Hall of Honor yesterday, and if we cats had been in town, we would have tried to attend.

Jones's touch on the keyboard was special and gentle — hard to describe. You just have to listen to it. He championed other jazz musicians' careers, as Oscar Peterson and Daisy Peterson Sweeney championed his. And he knew that the best way to keep jazz going was to nurture up-and-coming talent.

It was good to see Montreal's mayor attend Jones's tribute at City Hall, because he was truly a cultural icon of a vibrant, international metropolis. Oliver, your gift will live forever. We cats PURR.

(IMAGES: Evan Buhler, Montreal Gazette)

Give Hoekstra The Hook

By Zamboni

Canadian disgust with Donald Trump is still going strong. While Ontario Premier Doug Ford has been hinting that he could restore US alcohol to his province's shelves under certain conditions — spoiler alert, Doug, Canadians still won't buy it — a new front has opened up on the "We Used to Like You but Now We Hate You" war.

More than 171,000 Canadians have signed a petition to toss Trump's odious US ambassador, Pete Hoekstra, from the country. This is a lot when you consider that an online petition only needs 500 signatures to be officially considered by the House of Commons.

Good on you, Canada! Hoekstra has been a particularly disturbing ambassador. Not only has he made careless and insulting comments about US-Canadian relations — supporting Benedict Donald's "51st state" nonsense, for example — he has ties to leaders in the Alberta separatist movement. Why should Canada tolerate a US ambassador who is possibly fomenting the dissolution of their country behind the scenes? The US wouldn't stand for it. Why should they?

Add to that the fact that Hoekstra is an asshole, and we wholeheartedly endorse this movement — even though it could put Prime Minister Mark Carney in a dicey spot. (We're confident that he could find a clever, Trump-frustrating way to handle it.) Meanwhile, we cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Mitch, Est-il Mort? Edition

By Sniffles

It's been a really weird week, but there's much to feel positive about (despite what the MSM may be feeding you). Here are a few reasons why we cats are feeling optimistic in the wilting summer weather.

Despite his threats to wait until 5 PM on Monday, Graham Platner has formally withdrawn from the Maine Senate race today. For those of us used to a measure of graciousness from politicians (and yes, we realize that was a long time ago, or, at least, prior to Trump), this was a breath-exhale moment. The last thing we needed was for Platner to act like an entitled white Bernie Bro, and we're glad he didn't.

So the good Democrats of Maine can get on with nominating a new candidate to run against Susan Collins. As long as the special convention doesn't turn out to be a bloodbath, we cats think this is a good thing. It can only help gin up media coverage and enthusiasm — and of course we know now that Team Collins is disappointed (or is that "concerned"?) that they won't have the checkered Platner to run against.

The Cook Political Report updated its Governor Ratings to label four currently held GOP-held seats — Ohio, Nevada, Georgia, and Iowa — as toss-ups. (Of the four, Fox News polling has Keisha Lance Bottoms leading 52-47 in Georgia, Rob Sand leading 53-44 in Iowa, and Amy Acton leading Vivek Ramaswamy 50-49 in Ohio. The Cook ratings are subscriber-only, or we'd link to them, sorry about that.)

Meanwhile, Benedict Donald is refusing to sign the housing bill — allowing it to become law without his signature at midnight, and without any of the hoopla that Republicans had hoped would buy them good feelings with the voters come November. Sad!

The Gordie Howe Bridge between Detroit and Windsor is set to finally open July 27, after Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney — the newly acknowledged leader of the free world by no less than The Wall Street Journal — got Team Trump to agree to a deal on toll revenues. Wow, folks, this is a really beautiful bridge (see above).

Finally, OMG, L'Affaire Mitch. Est-ce-qu'il est mort, ou vivant?

Nobody seems to know. What we can report per our research is that according to DC law, the next of kin (or designated surrogate) does not have to be physically present at the bedside to direct that life support be withdrawn. However, a witness must be there with the healthcare provider when the direction is given. So, Elaine Chao's presence is not required, but a witness's is? Film at eleven.

Not much is certain right now, except for this: 1) McConnell's staff is stonewalling. 2) Senate Republicans who say they've talked to Mitch are lying. 3) The EMT team rolled him into the ambulance with "no urgency." Live your life in such a way that all this doesn't happen to you, and that people don't make fun of you when it does. We cats HISS.

Bonne Fete Du Canada

Fed up with Trump's endless grifting and unseemly appropriation of America's 250th? Take a moment to appreciate our Neighbors to the North, who are celebrating 159 years of Confederation. They're looking awfully sane compared to how things are going for us these days. Happy Canada Day! We cats PURR.

Don't Tell Donald

 

Who had a bigger crowd this weekend? The Montreal Alouettes in their game tonight against Ottawa? Or Benedict Donald's mishap-laden "Great State Fair" in Washington? You be the judge! We cats PURR.

Numbers Don't Lie (Les Chiffres Ne Mentent Pas)

 

By Baxter

New data reveal that the Canadian boycott of the United States is still going strong — stronger than previously estimated, in fact.

"While official Statistics Canada figures show a roughly 25 percent decline in Canadian residents returning from the US last year, cellphone data compiled by researchers at the University of Toronto's School of Cities found that the year-over-year drop in cross-border trips was closer to 42 percent," the CBC reports.

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and multiple locations in Florida like Miami and Orlando have been particularly hard hit, despite Canadians' famous tendency to escape south during the winter. And business travel has been affected just as much — all thanks to Benedict Donald, his stupid tariffs, and his ridiculous "51st state" BS.

This is costing the United States nearly $9 billion — so far. (Nice going, Trump.) But our American ambassador in Ottawa just can't understand it. He's particularly miffed about Canada's boycott of US booze.

"We think the alcohol ban is totally unfair," Pete Hoekstra said. "It's a clear indicator of how 11 provinces [and territories] feel about trade with the United States. They're sending a very, very clear message about how doing business with the United States doesn't appeal to them.

"The prime minister has reinforced that message. It creates some questions about whether Canada really wants to do business with the United States."

Wow, he's so close to getting it. What an idiot. We cats HISS.

Le Chandail De Hockey

By Miss Kubelik

The jury is out on the new Quebec premier, Christine Fréchette. Everybody hated her predecessor, but we're expecting Fréchette to still champion a separation referendum — even though a majority of Quebec voters are not interested. (Can't let Alberta have all the fun, right?)

But she sorta gets points for giving French President Emmanuel Macron a Canadiens hockey jersey today. (The name on the jersey is Canadien forward Alexandre Texier, a native of Grenoble, France).

She has to be happy that her gesture turned out not to be an empty one, since the Habs managed to eliminate the Buffalo Sabres in the Stanley Cup playoffs tonight. But we'd caution her on the fall referendum. Canada is feeling especially unified these days, and we can all thank Benedict Donald for it. Like the Republicans' efforts at gerrymandering, perhaps the Canadian separatists should be careful what they wish for — or at least come to realize that they've chosen the wrong time. We'll see. In the meantime, we cats PURR.

First Nations Should Come First

By Miss Kubelik

Quite a smackdown yesterday for the silly separatists in Alberta, Canada. A judge in Calgary squashed their petition for an independence referendum, saying that Alberta should have checked in with its Indigenous citizens and how they think secession would affect their treaty rights.

No surprise that the Maple MAGA white guys who want to leave Canada brushed the First Nations off. But how sad for them, since they swore they had collected well over the 178,000 signatures needed to force the referendum onto October's ballot. (They also managed to screw up by posting the private data of almost three million Albertans on the interwebs, and somebody may get hauled off the hoosegow over it.)

Moral of the story: You can't hold a referendum on whether to take something that isn't yours in the first place — like land covered by treaties that predate the creation of your province. The separatists' racism and sense of entitlement blinded them to this simple fact. We cats HISS and them and PURR at everything else.

Geography

We don't know how Round One of the Stanley Cup playoffs will end up, but we can say for sure that the island of Montréal looks like this right now. (Even after last night's game.) We cats PURR.

In All Our Hearts Command

By Sniffles

It's been a crappy week, thanks to the Supreme Court, the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals (google "mifepristone" to find out why), and Benedict Donald posting another ridiculous Jesus meme that his evangelical apologists will refuse to find outrageous. But once again, the world of sports — specifically, hockey — is providing some reassurance.

Quick back story: Did you know that the Buffalo Sabres start each home game with both the Canadian and the American national anthems, even if the Sabres aren't playing a Canadian team? That's because so many Ontarians cross the border to attend. Or at least, they did before Trump started threatening and insulting them.

So it was pretty swell the other night when the anthem singer's mic cut out and the 19,000 fans in the arena immediately rushed to her rescue and sang "O Canada" for her. (Note: Thanks to Trump's tariffs and his menacing jokes about annexation and "the 51st state," one can assume that Canadians' presence in the crowd was sparse. These were overwhelmingly American fans who knew "O Canada" well.)

Donald Trump is a disaster for America and the world. But this terrific moment in the KeyBank Center is a reminder that bullies like him are destined to fade. Well done, Buffalo. We cats PURR.

Liberal Love-In

By Baxter

The Canadian Liberal Party is meeting this week in Montreal, and will wrap up tomorrow with an address by Prime Minister Mark Carney at 2 PM. No, we cats aren't there (yet), but we agree with former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that for first-time convention attendees, to be able to meet in Montreal is something special.

A year ago, we cats would never have thought we'd write this, but the Liberals are riding high. They not only have historically positive approval ratings, they're also on the brink of a majority, thanks to a few by-elections that are scheduled for April 13. (Merci, Donald!)

Two elections are in reliably Liberal ridings, and the third is in Terrebonne, outside of Montreal, which the Liberals won last time by — literally — one vote. That result was tossed by the courts, and the re-vote is Monday. But because of the recent floor-crossings, Mark Carney doesn't need Terrebonne to get a majority.

Carney has been wily and smart, keeping his caucus together and wooing newcomers, inviting them to join his "big tent." This is all very impressive for an international banker who wasn't exactly known as a savvy politician before 2025. But as he is with the French language, Carney is a quick study. We cats admit it: We're star-struck.

Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, meanwhile, is in a bad place. How many more defections can he survive before his party demands he resign? We're already seeing calls for him to step down, because his brand of "Maple MAGA" is just not playing well in Canada. And why should it? PP is incapable of surveying the landscape and pivoting to address the reality — all he knows are the talking points that Benedict Donald provides him, and they don't translate well. C'est comme ça que ça devrait être. We cats PURR.

We Have Our Marching Orders

By Sniffles

Yes, social media suffered a huge (and deserved) loss in court this week, and we're glad. But we cats wouldn't stay on platforms like Bluesky if they didn't give us a laugh. And sometimes it can even make us grin about a story that we'd seen and found disgusting and despicable.

Exhibit A: the news that Benedict Donald intends to add his signature to US currency, supposedly in honor of the nation's 250th birthday in July. What a bunch of horse hockey. There's no law prohibiting it — but once again, Trump is flouting a 165-year tradition, just to see if he can get away with it (he will) and to assuage his ever-fragile ego. For our part, if we ever received a bill with Trump's signature on it, we'd go to the bank and insist on exchanging it.

It is all sickening, Hitlerian idolatry, and we can't wait to get out of this nightmarish Trumpy timeline we all inhabit. In the meantime, Canada has ridden to our rescue, with this less-than-respectful riff on their own colorful currency. Wilfrid Laurier makes a good-looking Vulcan, doesn't he? Take inspiration from their creativity! We cats PURR.

Joyeuse Saint-Patrick!

Don't ask us to explain this, but apparently the City of Montreal's St. Patrick's Day parade was today — five days after March 17th — and it took place in a snowstorm. Not only that, the city's mayor, who is of Chilean descent, was out there celebrating with everyone else. This is really cool. We cats PURR.

Three Little Kittens Want These NATO Mittens

 

By Sniffles

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is in Norway observing NATO exercises and sending the message that no malign actor should think of messing with the Arctic. And he got this nifty pair of mittens. (We still need them — it's snowing picturesquely in Montreal right now.)

Back here in Canada, things are looking pretty rosy for Carney's party. The MP for Nunavut, Lori Idlout, crossed the floor from the NDP to join the Liberals, putting them one vote away from a majority in Parliament. Four MPs have changed parties since November, three of them Conservatives. All Carney needs to do now is win two of the three upcoming by-elections, and he'll have 172 seats. (It'll be a thin margin, but Carney will manage his caucus better than Mikey Johnson.)

Conservatives can whine all they want, but they never had a problem when Stephen Harper engineered high-profile floor crossings 20 years ago. It must be frustrating for them, though — Harper was a much stronger leader for them than the hapless and unappealing Pierre Poilievre, whom they picked to head the party even though polls show that a whole lot of Canadians loathe him.

It's the mirror image of where the Liberals are right now. In fact, the word that pollsters are using is "Carneymania." Wherever Justin Trudeau is, that's got to make him smile. We cats PURR.

The Bronze Medalist Weighs In

Americans (MAGAts, incels, bots and trolls) have been throwing a lot of insults Canada's way after yesterday's hockey game. They'll never understand that the only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner. But here's Finland, come to save the day. We cats PURR.