Tammy Duckworth, Maligned To The Max

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are amazed. In our lifetimes — okay, we have nine lives, but still — we've seen the Republicans go from the staunchly pro-military, stay-in-Viet-Nam, our-guys-can-whup-anybody's-butt-in-the-world party to one that smears decorated veterans who happen to be Democrats. They seem to reserve a special venom for multiple amputees.

Latest example: Teabagger nutcase Joe Walsh, who — when he isn't yelling at constituents to sit down and shut up — scorns Tammy Duckworth's service in Iraq. "What else has she done?" Chickenhawk Walsh wanted to know. "Female, wounded veteran... ehh." (So, Joe: losing both legs in combat isn't enough for you?)

Walsh has been forced to kinda sorta take those comments back. But we cats want to know: John Boehner? Eric Cantor? Other leading Republicans? Where are you? Why aren't you being asked why you tolerate this crap?

If all this makes you as sick as it makes us, send Tammy Duckworth some money before midnight tonight. Here's how.

Harper Poses With Kitten: It's a Prop! It's a Prop!

By Baxter

So on the day that we find out that Willard Mitt Romney quietly funneled some generous cash to the National Organization for Marriage in 2008 — which is not really a surprise, considering how strongly the Mormon Church worked to kill marriage equality in California that year — we cats are struck by a paradox. Specifically, one from the former British Empire.

On the one hand, there's Tory Prime Minister David Cameron kicking up a rumpus by championing gay marriage in the U.K. Whether or not he's trying to deflect attention from his government's involvement in Murdochgate, we can't tell. But we find it interesting that he positions it as an endorsement of family values. "I don't support gay marriage despite being a Conservative," says he. "I support gay marriage because I'm a Conservative."

Not noted in the Washington Post article about the Cameron kerfuffle is the fact that seven years ago, a key member of the British Commonwealth — Canada — quietly legalized marriage equality nationwide. Yes, it started under a Liberal government, not a Conservative one. But after Ontario became the first province to institute same-sex marriage in 2003, the other provinces followed suit in only two short years. It was amazingly swift, and amazingly — like all other things in Canada — low-key.

From our anecdotal observations in Montreal, we cats can testify that heterosexual marriage has suffered absolutely no damage from this calm Canadian move to equality. (In fact, the opposite. How many new husbands and wives have we seen happily emerging from churches as we've biked by?) And even more tellingly, Tory Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who came to power in 2006, has made no move to reverse the law. (Again, in fact, quite the opposite.)

So perhaps all those folks in Britain who are rending garments and gnashing teeth over gay marriage should dial up Tory Stevie in Ottawa for a dose of political reality.

That would be a good thing. But here in the good old U.S.A., we hold no hope for Willard Mitt Romney and the Mormon Church. Those folks, we fear, are beyond enlightenment. So we cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Get that cat away from Harper before he strangles it!)

Bad ALEC, Soft Voices

By Zamboni

We cats always appreciate a good case of just desserts. Especially when it comes to dishing them out to Republicans and teabaggers who have dished them out to us, because the right wing takes it oh, so poorly.

So imagine how happy we were to find not one, but two examples in our news-browsing today.

Have you heard of ALEC? No, not our fave, Alec Baldwin (above), but the American Legislative Exchange Council. They're the wingnut fools who have helped pass murderous "Stand Your Ground" laws in 20+ states. In short, if it weren't for ALEC, Trayvon Martin might still be alive. Well, today, hundreds of people showed up at ALEC's Washington, D.C. offices to protest — thus, we hope, disrupting their day and preventing them from going out for their afternoon double-latte pick-me-ups.

But even better, check out Voice of Choice. It's an organization created by the landlord of an abortion clinic in Germantown, Maryland, who was — and, we're sorry to say, apparently is — getting harassed by anti-choice demonstrators on the phone and in person. Voice of Choice volunteers call the harassers back. But they don't curse them out as the landlord has been cursed.

Instead, Voice of Choice "use[s] e-mail, telephone and social media in peaceful, person-to-person counter-protests against groups that target abortion facilities, providers and patients, as well as their families and communities. We don’t question anyone’s right to express opinions and ideals; we challenge their bullying tactics and their contempt."

In short, "a soft answer turneth away wrath." We'd cite more from Proverbs, but we doubt the Bible-thumping, anti-choice harassers would be familiar with it.

(PHOTO: The good Alec is easier on the eyes than any other image we could use for this post. We cats PURR.)

Had Some Dental Work Today. Back Tomorrow!

Words, Words, Words

By Sniffles

We cats weren't planning to write about what's going on at the Supreme Court this week. First, the justices aren't going to be swayed by all those people demonstrating on their front steps. Second, we can't vote the Court out of office if we don't like their decision. We can only hope that the lawyers representing our side of things do a good job.

But we do want to say one thing: The "I Like Obamacare Because..." campaign that Obama for America has rolled out is stupid.

It's stupid because who can finish that sentence? Practically nobody except devoted supporters and policy wonks, because the White House hasn't told the American people why healthcare reform is good! You can tell we cats are still pretty spitting mad about that.

It's also stupid because it attempts to embrace the loathsome "O-care" term. Although we're sure that Plouffe, Axelrod & Company are valiantly trying to co-opt a teabagger cudgel, we cats fail to understand why it pays to play into phraseology favored by hateful Republicans, lazy journalists and struggling headline writers. (We feel the same way about "Romneycare," by the way. And don't even get us started on the idiocy of Tim Pawlenty.)

The words you use matter. If you call the Affordable Care Act what it is — healthcare reform — and explain it, people might start to like it, you know? (On the bright side, this week's arguments to the Supreme Court might help educate a few folks in that direction.)

Meanwhile, we suggest that we all follow the example of our Canadian friends and call sweatshirts with hoods "bunny hugs." Maybe fewer people would get shot.

(IMAGE: www.spreadshirt.com)

Footing the Heart Bill

So the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived (If Indeed He Were a Person) has had a heart transplant.

Considering his record on healthcare issues, we cats sure hope he paid for it out of personal funds or a private insurance plan, instead of taking that disgusting federal handout called Medicare.

(IMAGE: An alternate view. What is Inova Fairfax Hospital hiding???)

Another Moment of Feel-Good

The Canadian New Democratic Party (NDP) is meeting to select its new leadership team.

We cats can think of no better occasion to repeat the late Jack Layton's exhortation to his countrymen, which he made on the eve of his death last year. Americans struggling with the divisions in our own nation might want to take note.

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."

And Now, A Much-Needed Moment of Feel-Good

A deaf student on the rope line at Maryland's Prince George's Community College signs to the President, "I'm proud of you."

And the President signs right back, "Thank you."

If The Founding Fathers Were Alive Today, They'd Be Spinning In Their Graves

By Miss Kubelik

We cats understand that when you've got a government that's founded on great principles like ours is, it gives us multiple opportunities to fall short. That's just reality. But there are times when it seems to be falling so far short that it's depressing. One of the main reasons for that sub-par performance is, unfortunately, enshrined in the Bill of Rights.

Which brings us to today. The President of the United stood in the Rose Garden this morning and talked somberly about a 17-year-old boy who — but for an armed-to-the-teeth lamebrain who violated every tenet of a neighborhood watch program — should be alive and well.

"If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon," the President said, thus distinguishing himself from all 42 of his Oval Office predecessors more definitively than he ever has before.

Meanwhile, people are debating whether George Zimmerman is white, Hispanic, or whatever — as if that matters. The point is not Zimmerman's race or ethnicity, but the race of his victim. And the fact that toting a gun made Trayvon Martin much easier for Zimmerman to kill. (Sure, guns don't kill people. But if you don't own them, carry them, or use them, they really won't kill people.)

So, shaking our furry little heads at all that, we scrolled through other headlines of the day — only to find Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum, firing at a Louisiana shooting-range target and being urged by a spectator to "pretend it's Obama."

America, can we lose this behavior, like, right now?

Can we stop our hatred of young black men in hoodies and the President who happens to look like them? And most of all, can we all just agree to get rid of the goddamn guns?

No? We cats thought so. And that makes us HISS.

Marching Orders

By Baxter

Will anyone say it? The people who championed, passed and signed "Stand Your Ground" into law in Florida are surely as guilty of killing this 17-year-old boy as the loser who pulled the trigger.

We cats are disgusted. We're not saying that Democrats are perfect. But when it comes to being in the National Rifle Association's pocket — when you consider who authored, voted for and autographed the law that empowered a fat vigilante to sentence to death a kid carrying ice tea and Skittles — well, you're looking at Republicans.

...One of whom yesterday endorsed Willard Mitt Romney (right before the Etch-a-Sketch kerfuffle erupted), and whom the media portrayed as some sort of on-the-young-side eminence grise of the Grand Old Party.

We cats say, what a farce. That's because Jeb Bush signed the "Stand Your Ground" bill into law in 2005 — the same year that he, his brother (The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived), and the Republican party went wild trying to keep a private citizen from fulfilling his wife's wish to die with dignity. It all happened exactly seven years ago yesterday.

In other words, the Republicans are supposed to be so pro-life that they're willing to force a feeding tube on Terri Schiavo. But when it came to passing a law that was predicted to kill young black men, they were all for it. Incredible.

We've really got to keep this party from winning any more elections.

We've just got to.

Way To Go, Babs!

By Zamboni

We cats would like to pause and throw an affectionate PURR in the direction of Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), who on Saturday became the longest-serving woman in the history of the U.S. Congress. This afternoon, her Senate colleagues are paying tribute to her.

It's an honor to count Senator Mikulski among our ranks. Because unlike a guy in the other party who people are talking about today, she is a solid, authentic public servant whose positions, commitments and beliefs cannot be erased.

Land of Lameness

By Sniffles

Well, if the media coverage is to be believed, Republicans are dragging themselves to the polls in Illinois today.

The GOP primary nightmare won't quit: They don't like their candidates, who are talking nonsense about all the wrong things, and losers like Gingrich and Paul just won't go away. All of which bring Cheshire-cat smiles to our furry faces.

Nevertheless, we cats will go out on a limb (again!) and make some predictions for today's depressing GOP exercise in Illinois.

1. Even with three competitive Republican Congressional primaries, we suspect that statewide turnout will be low. But Illinois has never been an important primary for the Republicans, so by historical comparison, the numbers might not look atrocious.

2. Fatigue has set in for the casual Republican voter. This will help Ricky "Don't Google My Name" Santorum, a tad.

3. Some of Willard Mitt Romney's weaker supporters won't show up, since their guy is now expected to win. Again, this will help Ricky Don't Google Me, a tinch.

4. As in Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi, you'll see a fair number of people who vote strategically to keep the race going. Ditto.

So, bottom line: We cats think Ricky should once again outperform the most recent PPP poll of Illinois voters. But we doubt he could make up a 15-point deficit. He should, though, be able to spin, say, a five-point loss as a moral/strategic victory against a guy who outspent him a zillion to one — and who had every high-ranking elected leader either publicly (or quietly, from the sidelines) supporting him.

If Illinois is reasonably close, then Ricky can challenge Willard to try to knock him off in Louisiana on Saturday — to prove, once and for all, that Willard can win one-on-one against a true conservative in a reliably Republican state.

After today, we'll revisit the results to see if we can climb off this limb by ourselves — or if someone should call the fire department.

Mad-At-Obama Monday

By Miss Kubelik

A few years ago, we cats were accused by a certain liberal loser of being blindly, knee-jerkily supportive of President Obama — all because we were happy when he won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. (This accusation was kind of rich, seeing that we voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2008 primaries. And besides, we're not sure cats have knees.)

Well, today is our day to prove that killjoy wrong. Because we're totally, completely and utterly annoyed — mad as only cats can be — at the whole Obama Administration. Or at least, at the folks in charge of healthcare reform.

Not because we're dissatisfied with the hard-fought legislation that the President signed into law two years ago this month. It's because nobody knows about it. Or if they do, they don't get it at all.

Case(s) in point: This morning we saw a comment from a GOP primary voter in Illinois, who said she started drifting to the teabaggers after the healthcare bill was enacted. "That's when I said, 'Holy cow, there's something drastically wrong,'" she told The New York Times.

Okay, the woman is a Republican. But why would any heretofore middle-of-the-road Midwesterner think that the Affordable Care Act would not be in her best interest? Because come 2014, the law will stop insurers from charging women higher premiums than they charge men. Did you know that? Clearly this voter didn't.

And are we all aware that the law already has enabled young adults to stay on their parents' insurance plans up through age 26? (That comes in handy for folks just out of college, looking for work in a tough economy.)

Speaking of kids, do we know that, thanks to healthcare reform, insurers no longer can deny coverage to children with pre-existing conditions? That it prohibits your insurance company from denying you coverage when you get sick? That it makes it easier for you to dispute a rejected claim? That it makes mammograms and colonoscopies free?

And do we understand that the dreaded "mandate" requiring everyone to buy coverage — the way they do in Willard Mitt Romney's Massachusetts — balances out the requirement that insurers cover the sick and the healthy? Which means that everybody wins?

No, of course, you don't. Because the Administration, inexplicably, never rolled out a road show to educate the American public on the benefits of healthcare reform. In fact, in the words of POLITICO: "The country remains surprisingly clueless about the Affordable Care Act."

"Surprisingly"? We beg to differ. It's perfectly understandable, and it's entirely the White House's fault. How an Administration who ran such a brilliant, on-message campaign in 2008 could later fail to communicate on its biggest domestic achievement is beyond us.

We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: President Obama signs that whatchamacallit thingy into law. Photo by Doug Mills, The New York Times.)

News Flash: Osama bin Laden Thought That John McCain Won The 2008 Election

How else to explain that bin Laden believed killing the President would throw the U.S. into chaos — because our Vice President was "unprepared"?

Tidbits and Cat Treats — Post-Official-Non-State Dinner Edition

By Baxter

By all accounts, last night's official dinner for our visiting Brits went off splendidly. We have that event as well as other news on our furry little minds today. In no special order of importance, here they are:

Why did Samantha Cameron choose this dress? It looks like something our third-grade teacher wore in 1965, lengthened into a gown. Contrary to other reviews we've seen, we cats believe the First Lady left her British counterpart flailing in the fashion dust.

We think it's sweet that gay couples were, no pun intended, out in force at the White House last night, and that everybody noticed. But we look forward to the day when that will no longer be news.

Note to the GOP: If you want to shorten your nightmarish primary season, take a page from the Canadians and consider a boxing match.  Liberal MP Justin Trudeau will challenge Tory Senator Patrick Brazeau on March 31 to raise money for an anti-cancer charity. But since the event is called "The Fight for the Cure," we caution our Canadian friends: You may hear from the Komen Foundation's lawyers soon. (Oh, and don't wear pink trunks.)

Speaking of folks we admire named Trudeau, this week's Doonesbury series on the Republicans' war on women's reproductive freedom is brilliant. We're sure "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell is jealous that it's about Texas and not him. And while we're on the subject of clueless GOP Governors, Tom Corbett is an idiot. We cats wish multiple prostate exams on him, and soon.

Finally, as cats, we don't often concern ourselves with canine-related issues, but we're smugly satisfied to see Willard Mitt Romney, er, dogged by the Irish-setter-on-top-of-the-car story. Although the original incident appalls us. And by the way — Butch Otter? Do not defend Willard by saying, "We carry our dogs around in the back of our pickup all the time." You are not supposed to drive around with unsecured animals in your open truck! That's almost worse than what Romney did.

"We Women Have a Serious Problem With The Republican Party"

State (Sorry, Official) Dinner

Whoops — tonight's big event does not take place here, but rather, at the comparatively humble confines of the White House. We cats will beam in later with some bon mots.

"We Think We're So Courageous Because We Believe Something"

We cats haven't dragged ourselves to church in the longest time, but after viewing this sermon, we feel right (or is that left?) with the Lord.

In This Case, There Is No "Best" Man

By Zamboni

It's probably pretty obvious that we cats have been rooting a teensy, weensie bit for Ricky "Don't Google My Name" Santorum in the Republican clown-car primaries. (Thanks to Ricky himself, we have to stop calling it a clown "college.")

This is not because we like Ricky Don't Google Me, etc. It's because we want the GOP chaos to continue as long as possible. So far, we're not disappointed.

So you can imagine how pleased we were to find that both of those famously ass-backward realms of the Deep South, Alabama and Mississippi, fell into the Ricky Don't Google Me column last night. We used to hear the old saw that Alabamians would point to the Magnolia State and say, "Thank God for Mississippi." Well, they can't do that anymore.

And what does all this mean for Willard Mitt Romney? Well, Willard is soldiering on, and saying that the only game that matters is the delegate math — an assertion with which we cats actually agree. But the question now is whether Willard will amass enough of that math to sail smoothly into Tampa. And at this point, the answer is.... meh.

See, when the lead item in POLITICO's Playbook is "Romney's 5-Point SURVIVAL Plan" [emphasis ours] — which includes beefing up delegate selection trackers to wage a county-by-county fight for convention floor folks — it's not a good Willard day in Cheesy Grit Land.

Picturing that scenario, we cats were suddenly reminded of Presidential candidate Cliff Robertson in "The Best Man" — blitzing his unnamed party's convention, on foot and by helicopter, cajoling, hounding and threatening delegates into supporting him. Because that's what the Republicans are going to have to deal with if nobody reaches the magic number of 1,144.

We also are reminded that in that great 1964 film, neither Robertson nor opponent Henry Fonda received the nomination.

We cats PURR.

Ho Hum, Another Election Night

By Sniffles

We cats have better things to do tonight than watch election results, but a quick glance at preliminary numbers tells us that — uh, oh! — Rick "Don't Google My Name" Santorum is in another one of those, um, three-ways.

Goodness gracious, for an uptight prig who's obsessed with other people's sex lives, Ricky sure gets himself into plenty of compromising positions, doesn't he? We'd say don't tell Mrs. Santorum — but since she used to date an abortion doctor, she can't possibly be shocked.

(By the way, the thing about Karen Santorum and Dr. Thomas Allen that creeps us out is not that he used to provide abortion services. It's the fact that he delivered her as a baby! How ewwy is that?)

Wait! We just thought of something ewwier: Willard Mitt Romney, the Massachusetts millionaire who pals around with football team owners, pretending to talk Southern.

Ugh. On that note, we cats will hack up a hairball, and see ya'll tomorrow.

Neumann!

By Miss Kubelik

So Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley has signed marriage equality into law, and barring any successful referendum against it, it will become reality in January. But it's still kinda hard not to get dissed if you're gay or lesbian in parts of the Old Line State.

A 51-year-old parishioner at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Gaithersburg was attending her mother's funeral there when she was denied Communion by the priest, who apparently told her the reason to her face. See if you can guess what it was!

The good news: This "priest" has been put on leave. However, we cats are a little irritated that in a letter announcing the suspension, the Washington Archdiocese just couldn't resist taking a swipe at the gay parishioner for lacking a "state of grace."

Sheesh, the hypocrisy. Surely these miscreants were gulping down the wine and wafers each and every day they sexually molested children, no? Shame on them.

But even that aside, we think the members of St. John Neumann may want to hold back the next time the collection plate comes by. We cats aren't seeing a lot of love being practiced there, and we can't imagine Jesus turning anyone away.

Women On Top Of The World (And Down On The GOP)

By Baxter

Well, this can't possibly be a surprise: Polls show that the Republicans are committing political suicide with women voters over the contraception kerfuffle.

Then again, we can't understand why any American woman would vote Republican, ever, ever. Why would we go back to the days when we couldn't determine our own reproductive destiny? Heck, even Karen Santorum used to sleep with an abortion doctor. And anyway, why are we even having these conversations in 2012?

Because the Republican Party has gone off a cliff, that's why. We cats can't help but think that they'll pay dearly for it in November.

Meanwhile, there's the long term to think about. We cats may have a few years on our readers, and we've been fixed to boot (thank God). But we hope that younger women whose freedoms are affected by Republican overreaching will become active in the political process, and join the fight against the GOP.

It's your lives, kittens. And you have to tell Transvaginal Bob, Robert Bentley, Terry Branstad, Jan Brewer, Sam Brownback, Phil Bryant, Tom Corbett, Chris Christie, Jack Dalrymple, Mitch Daniels, Dennis Daugaard, Nathan Deal, Mary Fallin, Nikki Haley, Bill Haslam, Gary Herbert, Dale Heineman, Bobby Jindal, John Kasich, Paul LePage, Susana Martinez, Matt Mead, Butch Otter, Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Brian Sandoval, Rick Snyder and Scott Walker TO STAY THE HELL OUT OF THEM. Not to mention the rest of the horrendous Republican crew.

In the meantime, ain't the Chrysler Building gorgeous?

(BRILLIANT, WONDERFUL PHOTO: Norman Parkinson, "Young Velvets, Young Prices," hat fashion, Vogue magazine, 1949. Can we cats be transported back to this moment in time? Provided, of course, that we retain our current access to reproductive healthcare?)

A Quickie: Tammy Duckworth's First Ad

Tammy is running against that unhinged teabagger and deadbeat dad, Joe Walsh. We cats urge you to support her in 2012!

Guys Who Don't Talk So Good

By Zamboni

Happy International Women's Day. We cats are trying to celebrate it, but it's been pretty tough — what with all the vile behavior we've seen of late. From Komen to Limbaugh to Blunt, we're fed up.

So we will concentrate instead on a question of grammar. Here goes.

In the spirit of the day, 12 female Senators have written to John Boehner, asking the House to cease and desist on any more Blunt-like legislation. "Women," they stated, "have had enough." To which a Boehner spokesman replied, "House Republicans have passed nearly 30 jobs bills, which will help American men and women alike. They are now awaiting action in the Democrat-controlled United States Senate."

Mr. Boehner Spokesman deserves to have his ears boxed, of course, and not just for that lame non sequitur. Because the word "Democrat" is a noun. When Republicans use it as an adjective, it becomes a pejorative.

With all the name-calling going on these days, you'd think.... well, maybe not (sigh). We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The 1976 Vice Presidential debate. We blame Bob Dole and his "Democrat wars" comment for a lot of this crap.)

Time To Cut And Run, Jean Schmidt

By Sniffles

Gloriosky! We cats have been awash in work and have just noticed that Republican Congresswoman Jean "I Agree With You, Birther Lady" Schmidt from Ohio was defeated in her primary yesterday.

Who beat her? Who cares? Okay, well, it was a guy named Brad Wenstrup. We're sure that while he'll be "meh" (he's a Republican, after all), he'll be a definite improvement over Schmidt, both behaviorally and, um, sartorially. And oh, he should plan on kissing President Obama at the next State of the Union address.

Somewhere, John Murtha is smiling. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Before Rush, There Was Anita

By Miss Kubelik

So much going on today.

President Obama held a feisty and highly amusing press conference. (His response to Norah O'Donnell about Willard Mitt Romney was priceless). The Virginia Republican Party held a primary election and no one showed up. But we must return once again to the Rush Limbaugh self-immolation, which just doesn't know when, or how, to stop.

Mainly because reading the teabagger caterwauling at Free Republic — about the advertisers that have dropped Limbaugh's show — reminded us of something. Of another hater who bit the hand that fed her, and subsequently destroyed her marketing career.

Remember Anita Bryant, and her late-1970s anti-gay campaign? Perhaps you do, because her ex-husband, Bob Green, died this past January. Green was married to Bryant when she went on her crusade against an equal-rights ordinance in Miami-Dade County, Florida. Together, they managed to persuade voters to overturn the ordinance — but the effort scuttled her gig as a Florida orange juice spokeswoman. (And Bryant and Green divorced a few short years later.)

See, ultimately, orange juice manufacturers didn't cotton to the idea of alienating large swaths of daily Florida-sunshine consumers, whether they be gay, straight, or whatever. Similarly, advertisers from Allstate to Sears to Citrix have decided that Rush Limbaugh insulting tens of millions of women aged 25-54 is just too risky to run with.

Hey — isn't this the sacred voice of the free market, which the Republicans constantly tout? How can they complain about that?

These right-wing crusaders often claim they have God or Jesus (or the dittoheads) on their side. But it's usually Caesar who comes back to bite them in the end.

You Know You're In Trouble When Even Don Imus Won't Defend You

"Here's the problem with [Limbaugh]. It was a vile, personal attack of this woman, and it was sustained over, what — it was what, Wednesday, and then you come back and you double down on Thursday, and come back and double down on Friday, and then issue a lame apology on your website in which you say, 'I didn't mean to personally attack her,' when you did attack her.

"So, were it me, and I ran a radio station or whatever, I'd make him go down there and apologize to her face-to-face. Get on the — he owns a Gulfstream IV. Get on it. Go to Washington, take her to lunch and say, 'Look, I'm sorry I said this stuff, and I'll never do it again.' Period. No, he's an insincere pig. Pill-popping pinhead."

—Don Imus, FOX Business, "Imus In The Morning," March 5

(IMAGE: Stefan Kloo)

Limbaugh Apologizes, Freepers Explode

By Baxter

Rush Limbaugh has apologized to Sandra Fluke.

We cats don't understand how a person can claim he "didn't mean" a personal attack that lasted three days. But we can't help speculating why this happened tonight. Was it Limbaugh's network, or his advertisers, who held the gun to his head? Was he afraid Fluke might actually sue him? (Let's hope she still does.) Or did he just want to step all over Willard Mitt Romney's anticipated victory in Washington State?

Time will tell. Meanwhile, we beamed over to Free Republic, to see how our teabagger friends were handling their hero's official grovel. Answer: not well. When they're not still calling Ms. Fluke those awful names, they're weeping and wailing and furious and sad. Poor sweet babies.

We don't have time to read all 548 comments on the thread, but here are some choice nuggets:

"Rush is a coward."

"Lost this round to Saul Alinsky."

"Unbelievable. This is why the left wins.... THEY don't back down."

"Rush has emasculated himself. He has neutered himself as an ineffective effeminate [sic] with this apology."

"Just WOW! Looks like Rush really has jumped the shark after all."

"What a bunch of sorry wimps leading our side."

"One more reason to miss Andrew." (We cats love this comment.)

"We HAVE TO LEARN TO FIGHT BACK!!! When Sarah was called the
C word by Bill Mayer [sic] did we flood his advertisers?? PLEASE people
this is WAR!!! We have to fight the same way!!! WE HAVE TO GET OFF
THE COUCH!!!! WE HAVE TO BE FEARLESS!!!! WE have to do this, or
WE lose!!!! WE have to carry on for Andrew!!!! PLEASE START CAUSING
HELL!!!!!" (We love this one, too, but goodness, gracious, little Freeper — save some exclamation points for the rest of us.)

"Rush sold out. He’s a scumbag."

"After over 20 years of religiously listening to him, I don’t know that I’ll tune him in Monday."

"This apology proves he lacks the courage of his convictions and cares more about money than the truth. Pathetic!"

"When even Rush Limbaugh surrenders to the PC crowd, we are truly, duly doomed as a nation."

"He has betrayed us."

"The left is winning! :("

"Fluke is a socialist/Marxist/Communist/fascist/revolutionary/Islamic sympathizer PLANT. Mother Pelosi and Father Obama were her handlers...and Saul Alinsky and his tactics are their god. We're at war! We MUST keep fighting these slimes until we destroy every last one of them. It will be a 24 hours a day, 7 day a week job....are you up to it? Remember..you must be IN IT to WIN IT!"

"Hey Rush, retire. You hurt conservatives more than you help. Total CAVE. Just go away and STFU. You’re an embarrassment."

Finally, here's our personal favorite. We can't believe Jim Robinson hasn't scrubbed it.

"The Obama Administration must’ve found pictures of Rush with some Asian boys."

Weekus Horribilis, Exitus

By Zamboni

We cats knew we'd have to do one more post on the Republicans' disastrous week, but until a few hours ago we weren't sure what it would be.

For example, we weren't going to pay that much attention to the insane rantings of Rush Limbaugh. But Mr. Chubs has managed to close out the GOP's nightmare with a torrent of personal invective against a private citizen, Sandra Fluke — whom President Obama telephoned this afternoon. Our work here is done.

You know, we don't want to over-dramatize this. But for women, Mr. Obama's outreach today to a female student at Georgetown could rank with John F. Kennedy's 1960 phone call to Coretta Scott King, and how much that meant to African Americans.

History does repeat itself. As with the King case more than 50 years ago, it's the bigots, the bomb-throwers and the haters who laid the opportunity at the President's feet.

TGIF, GOP. Your entire party should win Chris Cillizza's "Worst Week in Washington" award. You've earned it.

We cats PURR.

A Class Act (Unlike Andrew Breitbart, We Might Add...)

"The news of Mr. Breitbart's death came as a surprise to me when I was informed of it this morning. My prayers go out to Mr. Breitbart's family as they cope during this very difficult time. I do not intend to make any further comments."

—Shirley Sherrod

Weekus Horribilis

By Sniffles

Okay, we cats know that "weekus" is not the correct Latin word, but we're making a joke, you see.

And yes, we know it's only Thursday. But this week has been a disaster, a disaster, a disaster, for the Republican Party. Let us count the ways!

This afternoon, the GOP in the Senate has formally taken a stand against birth control by voting for the Blunt amendment. In other words, they voted against American women's ability to determine their own reproductive destinies. We cats never thought we'd live to see the day.

Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine is retiring. Let it be noted that it was her party's extremism, personified by the Blunt nonsense (see above), that sent her screaming to the exits. Let us repeat: She's been driven from a safe seat by her own party — not by the Democrats, or the Occupy movement, or the leftist-Kenyan-colonialist-socialist-we-give-up that the GOP alleges is in the White House. Her own party.

Meanwhile, also thanks to Blunt, Willard Mitt Romney has stepped in it again. That man's poor campaign can never simply rest on its laurels, can it? And speaking of stepping in it, it looks like Willard's brilliant "victory" in Michigan will only yield him half its delegates.

Sheldon Adelson made another big donation to Newt Gingrich's campaign.

President Obama gave a great speech to the UAW on Tuesday. The contrast with the dour doomsayers in Republican Michigan could not have been greater. And speaking of which, Chrysler just logged its best February in four years. And the Dow closed above 13,000 on Tuesday for the first time since The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived was President.

The chief U.S. district judge in Montana, Richard Cebull, has admitted to sending a repulsive, anti-Obama, racially tinged e-mail (using his office computer, we might add) — yet insists he's not prejudiced against black people. Oh, yeah, that's believable. "I'm not a racist. I just think, sound and act like one."

Bob Kerrey said he would run for his old Nebraska Senate seat after all.

Bristol Palin has a new TV show. 'Nuff said.

Rupert Murdoch's snake-in-the-grass son quit his job as executive of News International. Yes, we know this is a British-based scandal, but when you consider the damage that FOX "News" has done to journalism in this country — please.

Andrew Breitbart has died. This news is so grand and glorious that we cats barely know what to say. Except that we send our condolences to Shirley Sherrod, who was rightfully suing the little bastard, and who now, we fear, may be out some money.

Finally, Apple has announced that it will unveil its new iPad on Wednesday, March 7. Why is this important, you ask? Only that it will suck all the oxygen out of the room the day after Super Tuesday — thus denying any kind of post-vote media bounce for whatever 2012 clown car passenger emerges victorious. Oh, well!

UPDATE, March 2: The Santorum campaign has accused the Michigan Republican Party of "political thuggery" for awarding Willard both of its at-large delegates, instead of one each to the two frontrunners as previously understood. Oops, says former state party chair Saul Anuzis — there was a typo in the rules memo they sent out to the campaigns. These GOPers are so incompetent, they've now proven incapable of running a primary as well as a caucus.