Woe Is Willard: Trip From Hell Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Insulting his British hosts, stumbling over "Anglo-Saxon heritage," blabbing about MI6, holding a press conference without calling on any American reporters, making offensive, culturally snooty comments in the Middle East.... sheesh. Did anything about Silly Willy's recent overseas excursion go right?

Well, maybe Poland? We're not sure, because it appears that Solidarity and Lech Walesa kinda got their wires crossed.

So, the trip was a bomb. But does it matter? We cats say, yes, actually.

It matters insofar as Romney's bumblings make it more difficult for foreign-policy Republicans — say, like Colin Powell — to pivot from their 2008 Obama support and endorse him.

It matters in that it makes inside-the-Beltway media types like Bill Kristol and Charles Krauthammer — who don't love Willard to begin with — even more restive.

It matters in that it was a lost opportunity for the campaign to control its message... whatever that was.

But apparently it raised a lot of money.

Poor Willard. Maybe he should nominate himself for a Titanic Award.

UPDATE: We have not mentioned the Romneybot's comments in Poland that the press should kiss his you-know-what and "shove it." Aside from the fact that the campaign clearly is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, we don't understand why they would invite all those reporters on an overseas trip and then not talk to them.

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Monday Grab-Bag

By Sniffles

The Democratic Party is adding marriage equality to its official platform for 2012. We cats say, well, duh, and fervently hope that it's the last time anything like this makes news. (Ya know, Canada's had gay marriage since 2005, and the country's been run by Conservatives since 2006, and we don't see anything falling apart up there. Just sayin'.)

So Willard Mitt Romney, a Mormon Republican, has made an overtly racist statement about Palestinian "culture," and we're surprised? By the way, we cats are tired of the way Republicans lump people into groups and then judge them.

If Ted Cruz wins the Republican Senate primary in Texas tomorrow, it'll be just another signal to Hispanic Americans that they're not welcome in today's GOP unless they toe a xenophobic party line. You know, mathematically, there will come a time in which Republicans will be unable to disenfranchise Hispanics in Texas.

Boy, the Bushies just can't stand the fact that President Obama got Osama bin Laden, can they?

Finally, let's trash the Olympics some more. How ridiculous that the IOC has been caught with empty seats on TV. On the other hand, how delicious was the great Rowan Atkinson's riff on "Chariots of Fire," and how pleased we cats are that we didn't have to watch NBC to see it.

Chicks

By Baxter

Some lamebrain in Alaska has filed suit in Juneau with the usual anti-Obama birther demands (*yawn*). But this time, there's an interesting twist: The suit also alleges that Nancy Pelosi is ineligible to serve in public office.

Why? Because Pelosi is a woman.

"There are no provisions in the Constitution of the United States that grants women 'political rights' of suffrage to hold any political office of the United States government," the lawsuit states.

Hmmm. That would not only single out Pelosi, but all the female officeholders across the country. And if we cats are remembering correctly, not so long ago, this lawsuit-bringing Alaskan had a female Governor himself.

So we have a question or two for that former Governor: Since you recently rushed to do a photo-op with the homophobes at Chick-fil-A, ma'am, will you do one with your former constituent, this birther guy? After all, he wants Obama out of the White House, and so do you.

No? Why not?

We cats think that the many ways they hate is starting to tie Republicans up in knots. Which is just one of the reasons we're glad we're Democrats. See, Democrats think that equal rights should be granted to all Americans — even idiots like birther guys and Sarah Palin.

Woe Is Willard: Post-London Edition

By Zamboni

As Silly Willy (our new name for the hapless Willard Mitt Romney) flees London for the welcoming arms of Benjamin Netanyahu, we cats have a few suggestions for the Israeli press.

Should Romney be foolish enough to give another press conference while he's in Israel, here are three questions you guys can ask him:

Governor, the Mormon Church has been posthumously baptizing Jews killed in the Holocaust, continuing to do so even though asked to stop. Could you please comment on this practice, and explain why Jewish voters in America should support you in light of it?

Governor, do you agree or disagree with the Republican Party's position that the United States was founded as a Christian nation?

Finally, Governor, can you explain why, of 39 Jewish members of the House and Senate of the United States, only one of them is a Republican?

Cat Fight! Willard Romney vs. David Cameron

By Miss Kubelik

Well, so much for understanding the Anglo-Saxons.

Willard Mitt Romney has put his foot in it again, just hours into his star-crossed "Look at me, I wanna be President!" trip.

Having foolishly questioned his London hosts' security preparations for the Olympics, Willard endured a pretty vigorous ear-boxing from Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron. "Of course, it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere," Cameron said, thus proving that hurling insults can be a dual carriageway.

Romney was quite keen to make amends, so he promptly did one of his famous arse-about-faces that we here in America are so familiar with. But it's too little, too late. Willard's overseas sojourn is surely coming a cropper.

P.S. Did you notice how we cats dropped all those Britishisms into our post? That's because we so understand the you-know-whos.

More Outrages of Olympian Proportions

By Sniffles

We cats are beginning to think that we should start a new blog feature: Embarrassing Olympic Screw-Ups. But then, that's redundant, isn't it?

Having already trashed the games once this week — and having duly and disgustedly taken note of the right-wing pig who was dropped from the Greek team — we now see that the IOC doesn't know the North Korean flag from the South Korean one. Who's in charge of banners this year? Sarah Palin?

This flag flap nearly tops the mess-up in which two shuttle buses got lost for more than three hours carrying the American and Australian athletes from Heathrow Airport to the Olympic village.

(Of course, on the subject of right-wing pigs, we have to remind ourselves that in 1972 the IOC misspelled Avery Brundage's name on the closing-ceremony scoreboard. Which is the least that he deserved.)

What a bunch of sad sacks. And what a perfect place for Willard Mitt Romney to be.

Words, Words, Words

By Baxter

We cats have had our fill of the following terms and phrases. We're wondering if they can be banned. (Or, in the case of this post's final example, banned in Boston.) Check 'em out:

"First lady" — Folks, North Korea does not have a "first lady." The roly-poly Kim guy who apparently is the head of that country's mysterious government has just as mysteriously gotten married to a cute girl. If you said "first lady" to a North Korean, he or she would just blink at you. Cut it out.

"Makeshift memorial" — It never fails. Every time something awful happens — the Twin Towers collapse, the Murrah Building gets blown up, a car packed with teens crashes and burns, or some too-heavily-armed lamebrain shoots up a roomful of people — news anchors call the heartfelt collections of flowers, photos, candles and teddy bears that mourners leave at the scene makeshift you-know-whats. Note to the press: You are way too enamored with alliteration. Come up with something different.

"Faggot" — This word is so unacceptable, and for so many reasons, it didn't really need to fall from the mouth of Sarah Palin's illegitimate grandchild in order to appear on this list. And since most people in television are intelligent enough not to use the term, this item is solely directed at reality TV producers and to all members of that low-IQ family up in Wasilla, Alaska (you know who you are).

"Anglo-Saxon" — Although Willard Mitt Romney is denying his campaign ever uttered this term to The Daily Telegraph, we cats don't doubt it for a second. Romney lives in an Anglo-Saxon world. His campaign rallies are lily-white — have you ever seen people of color on the dais behind him? — and heck, his own church barred blacks until 1978. Besides, since Romney and his team all use the same quaint, stilted language — "my goodness," "not enthusiastic," "a couple Cadillacs," and "heh, heh" — we're not surprised that a key adviser would sound like someone out of a Robin Hood movie. (Or give a not-so-subtle dog whistle to the KKK.)

We cats HISS.

Another Quickie: Good Art

By Zamboni

We cats approve of Google's nod to Amelia Earhart's 115th birthday, particularly since the latest expedition to determine her fate is ending inconclusively.

Nice touch: the scarf, looking like a yellow ribbon.

Outrages Of Olympian Proportions

By Miss Kubelik

Give us cats one reason why we should care about the Olympics. We hate the Olympics.

Maybe we'd feel differently if we were old enough to have seen Jesse Owens embarrass the Nazis in 1936. But the games have been ruined by a ton of contemptible behavior since. Like the fact that they went on after the Israeli team was massacred in 1972? Obscene.

And the stupidity marches on. Here are just a few stories we've encountered in 2012:

The IOC is continuing to refuse a request for a moment of silence in tribute to those slain Israeli athletes, even though this year marks Munich's 40th anniversary.

Women's teams from Japan and Australia are flying to London in coach while their male counterparts are traveling first class.

Team USA's uniforms were made in China. Way to go, Ralph.

Madeleine Albright says Willard Mitt Romney "kindly" thanked her "for keeping my mouth shut" when she complained to him that America's 2002 uniforms were made in Burma.

And the piece de resistance? The University of Utah says it will release records from the Salt Lake City games before November, but there's a catch — the records have been scrubbed. This, after Willard himself had promised that all the 2002 documents would be made public.

Yes, we know erasing stuff is kind of a Romney thing (and we ain't talking Etch-a-Sketch). But considering the amount of federal bailout money that the Salt Lake Olympic Committee received, those records should be 100 percent transparent.

We cats HISS.

UPDATE: A Greek athlete has been expelled from the games because of her far-right, racist tweets. Tell us again why we should like the Olympics?

A Quickie: Bad Art

Thank goodness, Penn State has taken this horrible statue down.

Not just because they should — Joe Paterno, after all, enabled a child rapist — but this sculpture is really, really, really, really.... well, gah.

Idea: Maybe Penn State should put this sculpture in its place. They certainly have been grappling with virtue-versus-vice lately.

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Curious Edition

By Sniffles

You know what they say about felines and curiosity. But we cats have been watching and reading the news, and we can't help posing a few questions. Here goes.

As he allegedly decides on a running mate — assuming he actually becomes the GOP's 2012 nominee, that is — does Willard Mitt Romney realize that the last relatively sane, reasonably intelligent, not-off-the-wall Republican to run for Vice President was Jack Kemp?

Does Willard realize that in fact, Jack Kemp is the only normal person in the Republicans' second slot in the last 24 years?

Have Arab-Americans taken careful note of Michele Bachmann's anti-Islamic hatemongering, and are state Democratic parties (like in, say, Michigan) trumpeting her racist witch hunt to the skies?

Will Senator Lautenberg's new gun-control legislation find any support in Congress? (Sadly, no.)

Is it fair to wonder if Aurora teabagger Jim Holmes could have also been James Holmes, massacre suspect? (Since Rush Limbaugh had just attacked "The Dark Knight Rises" as a Hollywood-DNC conspiracy, we cats think yes.)

Are we proud to say we've never eaten at a Chick-Fil-A? (Absolutely.)

Horror Movie

By Baxter

We cats don't go to the movies any more. Tickets cost too much, the concessions require a second mortgage on your house, and our fellow patrons yak and yak on their cell phones during crucial dialog or, worse yet, text or tweet the whole time they're there. And now — well, on top of all that, you can get shot.

How much more pleasant to watch a film in the comfort and safety — accent on "safety" — of one's home.

We cats are in a cranky mood. We are tired of turning on the news every few years to hear that some numbnut has opened fire on a bunch of our fellow Americans and taken out some really cool people.

All because the National Rifle Association and its fanatic supporters, who, quoting only the second half of the Second Amendment, make it impossible to pass and sustain any sane legislation on gun control.

It's a no-brainer. Idiots like Seung-Hui Cho, Jared Lee Loughner and George Zimmerman will always be among us. But why arm them? Why make it so easy for them to kill innocent people?

Get rid of the guns, and you get rid of the massacres. Period, end o' story.

Food For Thought

By Zamboni

Will Willard Mitt Romney be the Republican Party's 2012 Presidential nominee? We cats think there's a small but growing chance that he won't.

Not only has the campaign seriously mismanaged the whole Bain-Capital-tax-return hailstorm — which now is growing rapidly into a derecho — today, Ann Romney stepped in with the most imperious comment any candidate (or candidate's spouse) could say:

"We’ve given all [the information] you people need to know and understand about our financial situation and how we live our life."

Well, no, actually, you haven't.

We cats will try to ignore the haughtily Helmsleyesque use of "you people" and focus on the fact that the Romneys have been secretive to the max about their financial situation and how they live their lives. That's why lots of folks with "R" after their names have been calling on them to come clean.

So... what happens if Willard implodes? And if we Democratic cats are asking each other that over our food bowls, what are GOP insiders saying to each other over theirs?

They're probably panicked as all get out, because Willard is implacable and things are getting worse. Willard could announce a Vice Presidential pick tomorrow, hoping to change the conversation, and the tax returns still won't go away. So the Roves and the Kochs and the Murdochs and the Welches and all the other deep-pocket backstage actors who aren't in the Romneybot inner circle must be frantically conspiring, trying to come up with an alternate candidate they could quickly bankroll and ram through Tampa.

(We cats think it would have to be a fresh-faced Mr. Clean with impeccable conservative credentials — like John Thune. But we suspect that a few of the men behind the curtain have a soft spot for "Jeb!" The question is, have they discussed their Ron Paul problem? Or for that matter, their Sarah Palin problem? Neither of those losers is going to go gently into that dark night.)

As we said, the odds of this scenario actually unfolding are slight. But they get bigger every day that Willard says "no" and Ann says "you people." We cats PURR.

Making Palin Look Smart

By Miss Kubelik

We cats think that journalist Connie Schultz is being way too nice, refusing to out the conservative blogfool who contacted her asking why she, a member of "the elite media," has been seen cuddling with U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown.

"He's...my husband," she wrote back. "You know that, right?"

So why hide the guy's identity? The little jerk should be given a prime-time speaking spot at the Republican convention, because he perfectly symbolizes the ignorant state of the Grand Old Party today.

We Wish This Romney Guy Would Learn To Be An American (Taxpayer, That Is)

By Sniffles

Republicans are big on personal responsibility. It's the Democrats, they say, who support government handouts. President Obama wants everybody to be on food stamps.

So it's amazing that their presumptive 2012 Presidential nominee — whose father set the gold standard for financial transparency, to boot — finds himself beleaguered by his fellow Republicans over his unreleased tax returns. The Romneybots' secrecy and mismanagement have actually allowed folks in Pundit World to start asking whether Willard, in certain years, paid any taxes at all.

We cats can't resist joining the feeding frenzy. Here, then, are a few observations on Willard's recent and hapless sit-down with The National Review (the one that prompted them to publish yesterday's devastating online editorial):

Willard says: "My tax returns that have already been released number into the hundreds of pages."

We cats say: Big deal. If a guy with Romney's finances was not trying to hide income and cheat, his tax return's pages would probably number 1,000-plus. (Strike one.)

Willard says: "We will be releasing tax returns for the current year as soon as those are prepared."

We cats say: Why not April 15? Like millions of Americans, we file taxes when they're due. We've never even asked for an extension. What is it about April 15, Willard, that you don't understand? (Strike two.)

Willard says: "I'm simply not enthusiastic about giving [Democrats]... more pages to pick through, distort or lie about."

We cats say: You know what? We're not enthusiastic about voting for a tax cheat.

Strike three, Willard, you're out.

Last Throes

By Baxter

Remember the 2010 midterm elections? They were a Democratic debacle: Republicans took control of the House of Representatives, important Governorships, and a passel o' state legislatures.

Today, that Republican House is sagging under its lowest approval ratings in history, and the phrase "Worst Congress Ever" is being bandied about.

But there's one thing that the GOP is managing to get done. And it's scary: Voter suppression.

Since they rode to victory in 2010, Republicans in 34 state legislatures have introduced restrictive voter-ID legislation, and 12 states have passed laws that, in essence, aim to obstruct voting at every possible stage in the process. Three states — Kansas, Tennessee and Alabama — require proof of citizenship to vote. Taken your passport or birth certificate to your nearest polling place lately?

Florida and Texas have made it more difficult for citizen groups to register new voters. Florida and Ohio have compressed their early-voting schedules. Maine no longer allows same-day voter registration.

If you think this is all coincidence, think again. These are Republican efforts specifically designed to impede lower-income Americans of color — who largely vote Democratic — from exercising the right to cast a ballot, to have their voices heard.

Is it the last gasp of a dying party? We cats think so. Why else would they be trying to keep Americans from the polls?

Unless the Republicans substantially reinvent themselves — and stop relying on the hatemongering, obstructionism, racism and teabaggery that's characterized them for years now — they will soon become extinct as their white, male, anti-government base ages and dies.

But in the meantime, if we can't stop them, they'll do a lot of damage. We cats HISS.

A Condi Spin You May Not Have Heard Yet

By Zamboni

We cats have a theory about the Willard Mitt Romney for President campaign, and it's this: They don't know what they're doing.

It's an amazing statement to make about an outfit that's been up and operating for going on two decades now. But we always kinda suspected it, because of the inept clown college Willard was "running" against in this year's laughable Republican primaries. And now that he's the presumptive nominee, we're suspecting it anew.

It was the NAACP-Condoleezza Rice thingie that got us going again. Here's how.

Immediately following the boos that the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People rained down on Willard last Wednesday, some commentators claimed that Romney wasn't really trying to appeal to that ballroom audience in Houston — or to any other black American, for that matter. His true target: white independent voters, who, the thinking went, would see him as gutsy, or something. Indeed, Willard himself said later that he'd expected a hostile reception.

So yes, we cats agree that the Romneybots had white independents in mind when they sent their hollow candidate off to Texas. But here's where we part with the pundits: We believe it because the very next day, the "Condi for VP" rumors took off like a rocket.

Sound counterintuitive? Bear with us here.

See, after the Boo-Mitt incident came off without a hitch, we think his campaign did some overnight polling of those same white independent voters — particularly women, since as we've noted earlier, they're going after girls with a vengeance. And we think they got a surprise.

We think that white, independent and, especially, female voters were offended that Willard cynically tried to use the nation's oldest and most respected civil rights organization to pander for their support.

Therefore, to prove those white, independent, female voters wrong, a panicked Romney campaign got its BFF, Matt Drudge, to agree to send up the Condi balloon. See, white women! I wasn't dissing the NAACP! I'm thinking of choosing a black woman to be my running mate! (Never mind that if they were really serious about Condi, they would have leaked that well in advance of the Houston speech — not afterward.)

It's kind of a convoluted scenario, but we cats like it. Because it's certainly not one that's indicative of a tightly run, well-oiled campaign.

Then again, maybe they were just trying to change the subject from Bain Capital and Willard's tax returns.

Good luck with that, kids.

Phony War, Real War

By Miss Kubelik

In their silly new campaign video, Republicans scream that women are suffering in the current economy. Of course, that would be the economy that resulted from eight years under Bush-Cheney — and which the Republicans then refused, nearly en masse, to remedy in 2009.

But, never mind. Now they call it "the Obama economy," and they steal the "war on women" phrase — because they know how vulnerable they are when it comes to voters of the female gender.

In fact, yes. Let's talk about what constitutes a "war on women":

Laying off hundreds of thousands of teachers, police officers and firefighters, many of whom are either women or married to women, is a war on women.

Forcing women who are raped or abused to carry a child to term is a war on women. Removing all access to legal healthcare services, including pregnancy termination, is a war on women.

Making it impossible for women of childbearing age to get essential prenatal care is a war on women. Similarly, making it impossible for indigent and working-poor women to get contraceptive services is a war on women.

Making it impossible for mothers who are at or slightly above the pathetic federal poverty line to get preventive healthcare for their children is a war on women.

Refusing federal dollars to expand Medicaid is a war on women. Refusing to set up state insurance exchanges to benefit lower-income families is a war on women.

Making it possible for employers to discriminate against women in the workplace — particularly in terms of pay — is a war on women.

Finally, designating a privileged horsewoman who has never worked for a minimum-wage paycheck in her life, and who has "a couple of Cadillacs," a garage elevator, and multiple luxury homes as a spokeswoman for the average American woman is a war on women.

Ya know, we cats think that after Richard Nixon's secret bombing of Cambodia, Reagan's manufactured crusade in Grenada, and the Bush-Cheney pratfalls in Iraq and Afghanistan — not to mention the ignored August 6, 2001 Presidential brief — Republicans haven't a clue what war really is.

La Debandade de Calgary

By Sniffles

We cats are going to take a detour into Canadian politics today. Not only because a news item commands our interest, but because we find the American political scene kind of dismal at the moment.

What else are we to think, when the House of Representatives is hell-bent on a repeal of healthcare reform — all because John Roberts didn't vote the way they wanted? (Sidebar: We can't help believing that while Roberts saved the Affordable Care Act, he still wreaked havoc on the Obama Administration with Citizens United. Thus are the vagaries of government.)

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes, Canada.

It seems that the Calgary Stampede has run into a bit of controversy. Apparently, a bilingual recording of "O Canada" was played one night, and the staunchly non-Francophone crowd refused to sing along. After which an all-English version was played — after which — well, you get the idea.

Now, Stampede officials vow to play the English-French version, no matter what. Sheesh. We cats can only hope that if the Anglos in the crowd can't handle "Terre de nos aieux," maybe they can just mouth the words until they get to "God keep our land glorious and free." Because even though the bilingual version includes French, the English language clearly rules the anthem.

That aside, we are amused at the spectacle — because Canada, for all its linguistic contortions, is still light years ahead of the United States.

Really. Can you imagine how the US would implode if anyone insisted that the lyrics to "The Star Spangled Banner" be partially translated into Spanish? It would be appropriate — a quarter of us are Hispanic, after all, and the rates are rising fast— but the teabaggers and the racists would simply combust.

So, Canada, congratulations on being enlightened enough to have this Calgary Stampede controversy occur in the first place. We cats believe you should be honored — even if you don't feel that way.

Refuseniks

By Baxter

Like the rest of the world, we cats now know that John Edwards is a jerk. But we're beginning to think he was right: There are two Americas.

Yet not in quite the same way John meant.

There's an America in which Governors care whether their citizens have access to fundamental, affordable healthcare services, and who eagerly receive federal aid to help them ensure it. Because since the 1960s, a program called Medicaid has been the law of the land.

And in that same America, Governors accept decisions by the Supreme Court as the final arbiter of the law. Like, say, the SCOTUS decision handed down on Thursday, June 28.

But today, thanks to the current extreme state of the Republican Party, there's another America.

It's an America in which certain states — like, oh, Texas — score horribly in healthcare, whether we're talking about the highest rate of uninsured citizens, or the availability of home-health services, or just helping patients generally cope with specific illnesses like breast cancer, respiratory problems and chronic pain.

Yet in this other America, certain states — like, gosh, Texas — have Republican Governors who are refusing to accept the Medicaid expansion provided by the Affordable Healthcare Act, or to set up the state healthcare insurance exchanges that the act mandates. Or both.

Of course, this probably simply means that the federal government will set up the exchanges for them. (Talk about a "power grab"!) But as far as the Medicaid money goes, poor Texans, many of them women, might just be out of luck.

Is this political posturing? Absolutely. These silly Republicans are motivated by nothing more than an intense dislike of President Obama and a personal pique that, overall, the Supreme Court's decision on healthcare reform didn't go their way. Their intransigence on this issue is pathetic — but at the same time, shocking and cruel.

Which means that we cats are glad that we live in the America in which access to affordable healthcare isn't in the hands of fools like Rick Perry, Nikki Haley, Rick Scott and Bobby Jindal.

Who, by the way, are making John Edwards look like a statesman.

(IMAGE: An Ohio woman whose sister died of cancer thanks President Obama for the passage of the Affordable Healthcare Act.)

No Surprises

By Zamboni

Hot weather makes us cats even more nap-prone than usual. (But as we write this, we hear thunder, so we think the game-changing severe storms may be on their way.)

Meanwhile, funny thing — there are news items that have the same soporific effect. Here they are.

The ever-hysterical Rancid Pieface is claiming that the world will end if Willard Mitt Romney loses in November. What a nancy (as the Brits would say).

Allen West has said something stupid about slavery again.

The Supreme Court is deeply divided. Gee, ya think?

Roger Federer won Wimbledon.

Finally, our favorite: John Boehner says "the American people probably aren't going to fall in love with Mitt Romney." Biggest dog-bites-man story since Anderson Cooper came out of the closet. We cats are going back to our nap.

And Especially When You're Trying To Recover From THIS Jackass's Presidency

"I came in [the Governor's office] and the jobs had been just falling, like off a cliff... And if you're going to suggest to me that somehow the day I got elected — somehow jobs should immediately turn around, why, that would be silly. It takes awhile to get things turned around."

—Mitt Romney, 2006

What Healthcare Reform Means To You

By Miss Kubelik

Is "Obamacare" a Republican epithet? We cats used to think so, but since the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act, we're tempted to change our minds. Especially since "Obamacare" does the following. Read it and try to oppose it, Republicans.

Insurers are barred from imposing lifetime limits and canceling coverage if consumers make technical errors on their insurance applications.

Young adults are permitted to stay on their parents' health plans until age 26.

Children with preexisting medical conditions cannot be denied health insurance coverage.

Adults with preexisting medcal conditions will be guaranteed coverage beginning in 2014. They will not have to pay higher rates than healthier people.

Annual dollar limits on essential services will be prohibited as of 2014.

State-based insurance exchanges will offer a way to comparison-shop for individual health plans that meet minimum government standards — unless, of course, your shortsighted, partisan, uncaring Republican Governor decides in a fit of pique that he's so mad at John Roberts he won't set these exchanges up. (In which case the federal government will step in and do it for him.)

Seniors who are already getting preventive services without co-pays or deductibles and who are saving money on prescription drug bills will further benefit from the phasing out of the coverage-gap "doughnut hole," which will disappear by 2020.

Oh, and by the way, insurers must provide rebates to customers for any premiums that did not cover at least 80 percent of medical care expenses. Expect your check to arrive sometime in August.

And the Republicans want to run against this? We cats can't imagine why.

Woe Is Willard: Change-In-Narrative Edition

By Sniffles

Don't think we cats haven't noticed the change in Willard Mitt Romney's political fortunes these last few weeks. We just decided to wait to post about it until we could PURR instead of HISS. (Which we knew would happen, by the way.)

See, back last month, the spin from punditheads like "The Fix" (a.k.a. "Too Young To Know Recent American Political History") and the stenographers over at POLITICO and elsewhere was that Obama-Biden was off message, dealing with stuff beyond its control, mistakenly focusing on Romney's tenure at Bain and just basically getting killed on the issues — whilst the Willard warriors were disciplined, moving aggressively, and transitioning smoothly from the Republican primaries to the general election, blah blah blah.

Well, guess again.

Now, we've got the flap over whether or not Baby Marco Rubio is being vetted for Veep (no, yes, no, yes).

We've got evidence that the Bain ads are doing deserved damage in the crucial battleground states.

We've got Vanity Fair's expose on Willard's offshore financial investments.

We've got Jack Welch and Rupie Murdoch dissing the Romneybots in Boston, and public hand-wringing on the right regarding the state of the Romney campaign.

We've got positive economic indicators from the U.S. Labor Department and from the ADP National Employment Report.

And last but not least, we've got Willard himself, flip-flopping on whether the individual mandate for healthcare is — or isn't — a tax. (Of course, the only people who care about that are teabaggers, but then, Willard is kowtowing to the base, isn't he?)

All these developments are as much an indictment of the media — who run with anything their drinking buddies in the Romney campaign tell them — as proof of how out of touch the Republicans are. Not to mention evidence of how nothing shakes Axelrod, Plouffe and the team in Chicago from their long-term strategy to win in November.

We cats advise the media to get some context, read everybody, and write with an eye to the long view. Your credibility will benefit, we assure you.

P.S. While we're at it, we'd like to know why, if windsurfing in 2004 is inexcusably elitist, is jet-skiing in 2012 not questioned at all? Although both sports have been indulged in by Boston guys with big hair, jet-skiing seems like a mighty hoity-toity (and much less-environmentally friendly) way to spend one's vacation, no?

Dream A Little DREAM

By Baxter

President Obama hosted a naturalization ceremony at the White House today, in which 25 people, many of them members of the military, became new American citizens.

Guatemalan-born Lance Cpl. Byron Oswaldo Acevedo led the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. Without making a single mistake, we might add.

We cats are wondering how many teabaggers can accurately recite the Pledge. It's a reasonable question: After all, their erstwhile hero, John Roberts, didn't know the words to the Presidential Oath of Office.

(PHOTO: Luke Sharrett, The New York Times)

"What, This? It's Nothing — Just a Scratch."

By Zamboni

On the eensy-weensy, teeny-tiny chance that you didn't think Republicans disrespect military veterans who happen to be Democrats (and the execrable 2002 campaign against Max Cleland was surely proof enough), along comes jackass teabagger Joe Walsh to change your mind.

We cats are torn, because we don't want to give the likes of Walsh any publicity. But on the other hand, the world needs to know what a fool he is. So here goes.

Claiming that "noble heroes" in the U.S. military modestly refuse to discuss their service, Walsh — who (you guessed it!) has never enlisted himself — accused his Democratic Congressional opponent, Purple Heart recipient Tammy Duckworth, of grandstanding. "My God," Walsh whined about Duckworth's distinguished record as a helicopter pilot. "That's all she talks about."

Thank goodness, Vote Vets has demanded that Walsh resign from Congress. But we're not holding our breath. So in the meantime, we cats HISS at Joe Walsh and dump our dirty litter boxes on his head.

(And — journalists? You need to beat a path to John Boehner's door, and Willard Mitt Romney's door, and Rancid Pieface's door, and the door of every leading Republican in the country and ask if they agree with what Joe Walsh said.)

UPDATE: Duckworth had the perfect comeback. "Anyone who has worn the uniform of this great nation for a single day has done more for their nation than Joe Walsh has ever done." We cats PURR.

At Least He Lived Long Enough To See SCOTUS Uphold Healthcare Reform

Now that Andy Griffith has passed on, we cats take a moment to recall that two years ago he did this commercial for the newly signed Affordable Care Act. R.I.P., Andy, and thank you for your support.

A Quickie: We Are Shocked, Shocked

By Miss Kubelik

Oh, those poor Republicans.

Not only are they dealing with dissension in the ranks — is that storied GOP idea, the individual mandate, a "penalty," or a "tax"? —but, on the day that Anderson Cooper finally came out, they're frantically hoping that maybe, just maybe, the Supreme Court's decision on healthcare reform last week means that they will turn all federal against the states and support the so-called Defense of Marriage Act.

Why do we cats think that Willard Mitt Romney still has no control over his party, and that the convention next month in Tampa is going to be very interesting (for us, not for them)?

UPDATE: We cats had to check to see how the teabaggers over at Free Republic were handling the Romney camp's assertion that the individual mandate is not a tax. Well, you can just imagine. We hope all these angry Freepers show up in Tampa and make Willard's life miserable.

Inhofe's Snow Job

By Sniffles

We cats have never understood why, on days like today, Democratic demonstrators don't stand outside climate-change-denier and infamous igloo-builder James Inhofe's Senate office, and scream at him about global warming.

Wait — on second thought, we do understand. See, we Democrats are intelligent, and we realize that a record snowfall no more invalidates climate change than a strong heat wave confirms it. Still and all, summers used to be cooler back when we were kittens. And we pay attention when scientists raise red flags like this.

So we cats HISS at Inhofe and at all shortsighted Republicans who bend over backwards to deny global warming just because Al Gore won a Nobel for warning us about it.

(In the meantime, Happy Canada Day. We hope that Canadian kids will still be able to skate on outdoor hockey rinks in 50 years.)