Goodness gracious, but campaigns just wear us cats out. After an extra dozen or so naps today, we finally feel up to posting about Election Day 2012. (But before we launch into a "tidbits" list of feline profundity, here's a fun fact: While we fulfilled our duties at our assigned precinct and stayed to witness the vote counting until 11:30 last night, the Romneybot observers left before the polls closed. We can only suppose they were in need of a happy hour.)
But on to a few thoughts about yesterday's Saving Of America.
To all the pundits with egg on their faces, and to Republicans who were screaming that the polls were biased, consider this: If President Obama overperformed his national numbers, and Willard Mitt Romney underperformed his — which they did — that means that the polls were wrong. In the opposite direction. Sorry, guys!
Okay, why don't they call Florida? The results are in. Does Eric Holder need to send troops down there to guard the voting machines?
On the subject of vote counts, Willard Mitt Romney might not be feeling lucky tonight. But he actually is. See, if he had gotten one million fewer votes nationwide, his share of the popular vote would have been.... 47 percent.
Which reminds us: We cats PURR in the direction of David Corn and James Earl Carter IV, for unleashing that amazing Willard video on the world. And now, we officially ask whoever shot it to come forward and reveal themselves.
President Obama didn't just win re-election last night. He beat perhaps the richest man ever to be nominated by a major party — in an election that was supposed to be defined by how much money was going to spent. Wouldn't it be interesting to know how much of his own cash Romney gave to his campaign? And since he paid big bonuses to his top staff for the primaries, what will those staffers' general election bonus be? Will anybody bother to check?
We are so glad that the Guy Who Pretends to Wash Already-Clean Soup Kitchen Pans will not be our Vice President.
Israeli prime minister and overall pain in the ass Benjamin Netanyahu wins the Mitch McConnell Ungracious Award (International Version).
Finally, since we cats are, well, catty, we will live up to our reputations and beg to differ with all the commentators who rained praise on Willard's concession speech. We found it robotic, rushed, off-putting and unsettling. Just like the man who gave it. And if that earns us the domestic version of the Mitch McConnell award, so be it.
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