Plus C'est La Meme Chose

"In Oklahoma's haste to conduct a science experiment on two men behind a veil of secrecy, our state has disgraced itself before the nation and the world." 

—Ryan Kiesel, ACLU of Oklahoma

"What will be left of the power of example if it is proved that capital punishment has another power, and a very real one, which degrades men to the point of shame, madness and murder?"

—Albert Camus, "Reflections on the Guillotine"

A Quickie: Future Donald Sterling Headlines

Today's headline:
Donald Sterling Banned for Life for Racist Comments

Tomorrow's headline:
Donald Sterling Named to Board of Directors, Tea Party Express USA

The day-after-that headline:
Donald Sterling Named "Big Tent 2016" Outreach Chairman for Republican National Committee

The day-after-the-day-after that headline:
Donald Sterling Named National Finance Co-Chair, "Draft Trump 2016"

(We cats also suggest a face transplant. Just one problem: Who would want his old one?)

Not-So-Sterling Characters

By Baxter

The most hopeful aspect of the recent Cliven Bundy-Donald Sterling brouhahas is that they're evidence that racism is simply not tolerated, or ignored, or winked at, any more.

Not just in social or political circles— but in the arena that ultimately, truly matters: the marketplace.

This piece by Sally Jenkins on the economic ramifications of Sterling's many racist rants is all you have to read to understand the forces at work in what we cats are confident will be the Clippers' owner's eventual ouster. Yes, economic energy frequently lags behind social and political movements — but if enough people make it clear that they will not stand for bad behavior, the folks who want to make money more than anything will fall in line.

Which is okay. Right-wing screamers can object all they want, but the blanket condemnations of Bundy and Sterling have nothing to do with the First Amendment and absolutely everything to do with What The Market Will Bear. We cats have no problem with that. When the arc of history bends toward justice, it also bends toward business trying to figure out how to make a fast buck. Fair enough.

You'd think that as alleged raging capitalists, the teabaggers and their enablers would get this. Or, at least, be honest about it. But since they're not, are they capitalists, or aren't they? Our phones are open! In the meantime, we cats PURR.

Freepers Endorse Gay Marriage (Thanks, Guys!)

By Sniffles

Admit it: We cats haven't lately shared the whacko postings from our favorite paranoid, right-wing corner of the Internet, Free Republic — and you've missed them, haven't you?

Truth to tell, we've missed them, too. And we just HAD to visit them to see how they were reacting to the United Church of Christ's ingenious lawsuit in North Carolina. So we did.

First, here's the scoop: The UCC has sued the Tarheel State, claiming that its ban on same-sex marriage violates their religious freedom — because they want to marry gay people to one another. Brilliant! Bravo, United Church of Christ! (Where can we make a donation?)

But if that weren't delicious enough, the homophobes over at FR, fulminating over the suit, have just managed to prove our point: Civil marriage and religious rituals have nothing to do with one another. Hence, the "religious freedom" argument that the anti-marriage-equality folks have always invoked is bunk.

In case you doubt us, check out some of the Freepers' comments on the North Carolina case:

"BS — they can perform marriages all they want."

"Nothing is stopping them from marrying whoever they deem suitable for marriage."

"'Marriage performed by clergy is a spiritual exercise and expression of faith essential to the values and continuity of the religion that government may regulate only where it has a compelling interest.' Exactly."

"State and federal laws against homosexual marriage don't affect religious practice whatsoever — nor should they."

WOW, the Freepers have seen the light! They've admitted that changes in the states' civil marriage laws would have no bearing on religious congregations' exercise of same. And although we doubt that they realize it, we're happy to welcome them to our side. We cats PURR.

GOP: Yep, We're Racists

By Zamboni

Starting way back in the Nixon days, we cats thought it was pretty obvious that the Republican Party was hostile to people of color. In fact, let's not pussy-foot around. Let's just come right out and say what so many Republicans and right-leaning pundits are desperately trying to deny.

The Grand Old Party is racist.

It's not just that they recently rushed to embrace the wizard-without-a-hood, Cliven Bundy. (Or cozied up to Ted Nugent, who calls the President of the United States a "subhuman mongrel.") It's what's come out of their own mouths, too.

Like Rand Paul doubting the Constitutionality of the Civil Rights Act. Paul Ryan moaning that "inner-city" Americans don't want to work. Newt Gingrich's obsession with food stamps. Jim DeMint's guy who says  "Hispanic immigrants' IQs" are lower than "white natives'." Don Young reminiscing about hiring "wetbacks."

But most of all, Republicans are racists because of their policies — none more so than their insidious attempts to suppress minority voting throughout the United States.

So that's it, America. As far as we cats and others are concerned, the question is settled. On the bright side, it's nice to know that a Republican who voted for President Obama can win a GOP Congressional primary. We cats PURR.

Sandoval, Cowed

By Miss Kubelik

So much for the Brian-Sandoval-for-Vice-President campaign.

We cats have had a gay old time these last couple of days, watching the Republicans who rushed to place a halo on Cliven Bundy's head now have to backtrack like crazy to disavow him. The focus of the turnaround has been on the likes of Sean Hannity and Rand Paul, with good reason. But there are a couple of other GOP bright lights who've had mud splashed on them as well.

We're taking particular satisfaction in the embarrassment of Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval, who back before Bundy revealed himself to be a racist pig, spoke sanctimoniously about "cows" and "intimidation."

This was silly of Sandoval to do in the first place, because in addition to being a hatemonger, Bundy always was a government-subsidy abuser. (Far worse than those "Negroes" he so bizarrely riffed on to Adam Nagourney of The New York Times.) But with the fallout from their embrace of Bundy just beginning, Republican insiders who were secretly hoping that Sandoval could help the GOP ticket appeal to Hispanics in 2016 must be deflating like old balloons.

Yep, Brian's gone from cows to cow dung in pretty quick fashion. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Governor Sandoval, with a mouth that he should have thought twice about opening.)

Mississippi Businesses Tell Phil Bryant and the Family Research Council to Stuff It

One thing that drives the bigots crazy is when fair-minded people use the power of the marketplace to isolate and ostracize them.

We cats will never willingly travel to Mississippi, for a whole bunch of reasons. But if we ever did, we'd patronize any business that had this sticker in its window.

Bundymania

By Baxter

Whoops — well, that was fast.

The right wing's newest media darling has just fallen from grace. Cliven Bundy has gone from freedom-loving, big-government-hating rancher to disgusting racist, in the blink of an eye.

Or rather, in the course of a single, on-the-record interview with The New York Times. And now, thoughtless Republican bandwagoneers like Rand Paul, Dean Heller, Ted Cruz and Sean Hannity can't get away from Clive fast enough.

We cats are highly entertained, for a number of reasons.

First, we're happy to say that people who end up unmasking themselves as closet racists, like Cliven Bundy — or secret misogynists, like Todd Akin or Richard Murdouck — turn out, unfailingly, to be the Republican Party's problem, and not ours.

Second, we could have told Paul, Heller, Cruz, Hannity and all those other GOP clowns that aligning yourself with a Bundy is always a bad idea. Because now that we think of it, serial killer Ted Bundy was a Republican, too. We cats PURR.

The Not-So-Great State Debate

By Sniffles

Republican Governor Rick Perry — on a tour of New York to steal business for Texas — thinks that Democratic Governor Andrew Cuomo should debate him on which of their states is better for jobs.

Despite a DGA spokesman's snappily amusing response to Perry's suggestion, we hope that Governor Cuomo accepts the "challenge" — which we put in quotes not just because Rick Perry is a phoney-baloney, but because Cuomo would win the discussion paws down.

After all, what company would want to move to a state with:

• A crippling drought — Bein' thirsty sure beats environmental extremism.
• Exploding fertilizer plants — Okay, so 14 people died, but get yer gummint regulators outta my business!
• No state-based health insurance exchange or Medicaid expansion — Sure, Texas has the highest rate of uninsured Americans in the country. But we don't want none of that thar Obamacare!
• No abortion or reproductive healthcare — Human life is sacred (at least until it's born).
• Creationism in school textbooks — Science is lies from the pit of hell, pardner.

We could go on — but you get the picture, and it's not pretty.

In this mythical debate, all Rick Perry would talk about would be taxes, taxes, taxes. (Unless he has trouble remembering the third "taxes.") But if we cats owned a business, we'd worry about our employees' quality of life — and wonder why anyone would want to work for us in the Republican wasteland known as the Lone Star State.

Betting On Bob?

By Zamboni

We cats have been frustrated with Democrats when they earnestly enact good laws and then neglect to celebrate them. Exhibit Number One? The Obama Administration's failure to toot its own horn on the Affordable Care Act. They should have staged a major media event every time an ACA milestone came on line — with cake, balloons, noisemakers and lots of pats on the back.

So it was with approval and amusement that we saw Virginia's new Democratic Governor, the ever-ebullient Terry McAuliffe, trumpeting his first 100 days in office with a big speech and an event in Richmond. "Approval," because, well, obviously. And "amusement" because it clearly got under the Republicans' skin. Hooray!

Meanwhile, another development in Virginia politics has caught our eye: The defense fund of the Old Dominion's indicted former Republican Governor, "Transvaginal Bob" McDonnell, has received a $10,000 contribution from Willard Mitt Romney.

This news is too funny. Here are some possible whys:

Willard may have just doubled the defense fund's tiny balance in one fell swoop, since people haven't exactly been rushing to give.

The donation is a small payback for rigging the 2012 Virginia primary (otherwise known as keeping most of the other candidates off the ballot).

It's a consolation prize for not picking Bob as his running mate.

It's a sympathy donation from a man who knows what it's like to have an aggrieved spouse who lusts after horses, vacation homes and all sorts of rich-people toys.

Last but not least, Willard's gift exactly matches the amount that he bet Rick Perry in one of those endless 2012 Republican debates. Clearly, $10,000 is a meaningless number for him. We cats PURR.

The White House Easter Egg Roll Is Swell, But Isn't The Bunny A Little Creepy?

We always thought so.

(PHOTO: Getty)

Happy 88th Birthday, Your Majesty

Okay, this is a little freaky, but here is the Queen meeting Dame Helen Mirren, who won an Oscar portraying her in a film called, um, "The Queen."

When you've been around as long as Elizabeth II has, you get to have moments like this. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Republicans Are Acting Like Babies Again

By Miss Kubelik

The right wing talking-and-typing heads are aflame about Chelsea Clinton's pregnancy. They're sure that Chelsea and husband Marc Mezvinsky timed the new arrival to coincide with Nana Hillary's 2016 run for the White House.

Well, they were sure — but it seems that at least, Newsmax's execrable Internet news host, Steve Malzberg, has backpedaled on those accusations. (On the Hypocrisy Beat, we'd bet that Newsmax had nothing but wonderful things to say about the Spawning Palin family back in 2008.)

We cats are unperturbed for the Clintons, who probably are not only used to bad behavior from their political enemies but too happy to give a damn right now. Still, we were struck to learn that this kind of idiocy on the GOP side of the aisle is nothing new.

We have it on good authority from a friend who, back in 1960, taught at a high school in the tony Riverside suburb of Chicago. Then as now, the town was wildly white (91.3 percent in the 2010 census) and heavily Republican. Our friend had a co-worker who told him, "I don't think Mrs. Kennedy is as pregnant as they claim." We're not sure what, if anything, this person had to say when John F. Kennedy, Jr. was born that November 25.

"So now my wife and I prepare for a new Administration, and a new baby," John-John's dad famously said after he was declared President-elect. We're looking forward to the Hillary version of that statement. In the meantime, Republicans are making idiots of themselves as usual, and we cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The First Lady-to-be, November 1960. Guess that was just a pillow under her coat.)

Take Not The Stanley Cup Away From Us

Is this a good sign? Saint Brother Andre, founder of St. Joseph's Oratory of Mount Royal, is a Montreal Canadiens fan. Go, Habs, go!

The State Of The States

By Baxter

We cats have noted before that America is balkanizing into Places You Want To Live versus Places You Don't Want To Live.

Places You Want To Live have Governors who care about the welfare of their people: They participate in Obamacare exchanges, accept Medicaid expansion money, protect access to reproductive healthcare, abortion and the right to vote, promote raising the minimum wage, support marriage equality and gun control, and believe that science should be taught in schools.

And then there are the states where Republicans rule — where their Governors, um, don't.

Those states are mostly in the Deep South — and if you're looking for a place that supports your health and well-being, you may want to steer clear. As The New Yorker reports, on top of the usual health-disaster suspects — like obesity, diabetes and heart disease — the South is being ravaged by AIDS. A terrible lack of funding and a hostile social environment have meant that serious public health challenges in the region, like HIV, go unaddressed — turning states like Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi into Places You Don't Want To Live.

We cats don't understand why Governors like the ever-repulsive Bobby Jindal of Louisiana aren't asked about this. The little creep is going to give this year's commencement address at Liberty University, where we're sure he'll tell all those born-again virgins to stay firmly on the path of personal morality. But where is the morality in keeping the citizens of your state not only ill-informed but ill? Why does no one challenge Jindal on the failure of Louisiana's abstinence-only sex education, the state's skyrocketing rate of AIDS-related mortality, and why he's refused Medicaid-expansion money? It's a mystery.

Meanwhile, consider this scenario from Canada: We cats have learned that the owners of one of our favorite Montreal restaurants are battling cancer. The husband is receiving radiation therapy through Health Canada, the country's publicly funded healthcare system. But transplant their story to the U.S., and what have you got? A small-business-owning married couple who would probably be financially wiped out — unless, of course, they were enrolled in Obamacare. It's something to ponder while the U.S. celebrates 8 million ACA enrollees, and the Republicans continue to rail and pout.

Why does the GOP think people want to live in their America? Because it doesn't seem like the kind of place you can make a living wage, enjoy personal freedoms, and, most of all, be healthy without going bankrupt. We cats HISS.

Tidbits and Cat Treats: Selfie Thursday Edition

By Sniffles

As you can see, we cats have a way to go before we perfect our selfie skills. But if the President and the Vice President can do it, we can, too! So we'll keep practicing.

Meanwhile, though we're in Canada, developments from South of the Border continue to grab our attention. Here are a few of them.

Since the Jeb! 2016 boomlet is still rolling along, Mom Barbara's comment from a year ago that "We've had enough Bushes" seems, in retrospect, a little strange. We wonder if it was rooted in a mother's trepidation that a certain customs-criminal daughter-in-law still might not be ready for prime time.

This doesn't happen often, but it looks like we were wrong: Vance McAllister is still in office. We honestly don't know what he's doing there. Surely anybody who ran for office as a "godly" man who would "defend our Christian way of life" has got to go.

Speaking of Republican hypocrisy, check out their new emphasis on populism. We could make an endless list as to why this is hilarious. First because of the Kochs, of course. But get a load of what Republican Governor Mary Fallin just did in Oklahoma: Outlawed raising the minimum wage. Some populism!

Finally, here's some exciting news: Kay Hagan, Mary Landrieu, Michelle Nunn and Alison Lundergan Grimes all outraised their expected general-election GOP opponents in the first quarter. Hm — despite the best efforts of the Washington media to hand all four of those races to the Republicans, it appears that they're still competitive. We cats PURR.

Hail To Mindy. Boo To Baby Luke.

By Zamboni

So after a pathetic anti-Semite decided to observe Passover by randomly killing two Methodists and a Catholic, we cats noticed a couple of things during the subsequent media coverage.

Nope, sorry — no cable news talking head brought on a Republican to defend Frazier Glenn Cross's holy right to bear arms under the sacred Second Amendment. Darn it.

But Baby Luke on MSNBC, who reports news on TV only because his last name is "Russert," did say that Cross shouted "'Hail' Hitler" as he was arrested. Gosh, Baby Luke, do you not know your hails from your heils? Have you never seen a World War II movie?

But on the bright side, Mindy Losen — the daughter and mom of two of the victims — gave an extraordinary news conference. She spoke about her father and her son, and the importance of faith and forgiveness. And she also said, "When I pulled up I saw [my father] lying on the ground. My first thought was that he had a heart attack and was just lying there."

We cats wanted to kiss Mindy Losen — not just because she seems like a nice person, but because she said "lying" and not "laying." Good grammar like that doesn't happen often. Savor it when it does.

La Vie Post-PQ

By Sniffles

We cats are in Quebec, which is a very interesting place to be in the wake of last week's momentous provincial election.

On the one hand, everything seems quite normal. Of course, Montreal delivered a heavy Liberal vote — so if we really wanted to see discontent, we probably should have driven into rural Quebec today instead of just biking around the city.

Still, we had an election-tinged encounter. Having crossed over the St. Lawrence locks to the South Shore on our way to St. Lambert, we were stopped by a cyclist going in the opposite direction. He was surprised that the bike-path overpass was already open, since it was supposed to be closed until tomorrow. Was it really open? he asked. Could he get to Parc Jean Drapeau today, instead of having to wait until April 15?

When we said yes, he laughed and said, "It's Mr. Harper's gift to us, since we lost our election."

We cats laughed, too. Sure, Harper is probably thrilled to have the Parti Quebecois thorn removed from his side. But federal Liberals are pleased to have a majority in Quebec City, too.

So, everybody wins except the haters. Could the US take a few lessons from this election? We cats hope so, because it would make us PURR.

(IMAGE: Pierre Peladeau, with this single gesture, loses the election for the PQ. Why is Pauline Maurois applauding?)

Rudy Redux

By Baxter

We cats find this recent Republican-establishment Jeb! boomlet hilarious. The talking heads not only utterly ignore the fact that the crazy right-wing base hates him — they never discuss anything substantive about what a Jeb! campaign is going to look like. That is: They never say where Jeb! is actually supposed to win.

Seriously, where? Especially since Jeb!, true to his silver-platter upbringing, has made it clear that he wants the nomination without having to work for it. So in which state in the GOP's early primary calendar will he start his, ahem, inevitable march to the nomination?

Not in Iowa. We don't see Jeb! campaigning his tail off in all 99 counties like Rick Santorum did and probably will again. Plus, Christian conservatives despise him for "letting" Terri Schiavo die.

New Hampshire? Those mavericky folks in the Granite State occasionally like to kick the Republican establishment in the teeth. (Remember 1992? We bet the Bush family does.) Besides, as in Iowa, voters there like a candidate who practices hard-core retail politics. Is Jeb! willing to slog door-to-door, diner-to-diner, for days and weeks on end? Not.

South Carolina? Forget it. He's nowhere near crazy enough.

Even Nevada, which is a possible win, could pose some dangers for Jeb! The conventional (and stupid) wisdom is that he'll ride to victoria in Nevada because, being married to a Mexican and speaking Spanish, he'll win back the Hispanic vote. But with the base on fire about illegal immigration being an "act of love," what happens if the father of "the little brown ones" doesn't get enough of a win in Nevada? Sounds like New Hampshire '92 (see above).

Nope, we're not seeing much of a Bush bandwagon here. By the time they get around to the Florida primary, in fact, somebody else — or a few somebody elses — could already have won four states and be well on the way to Vegas (or wherever the convention will be). No, we cats predict that if he runs, Jeb! will be a 2016 version of the 2008 Giuliani campaign: Cause a premature stir in Pundit World; get embarrassed in the early states; bet everything on Florida and come up empty. We cats can't wait, and we PURR.

When Republicans Say They Want To Repeal Obamacare, They'd Be Repealing Stuff Like This

Now that 7.5 million Americans have health insurance under the Affordable Care Act, let's let Mark Begich show his fellow Senate Democrats how the ad wars are done.

(We cats are busy packing to head to Canada for a week, but we're taking a moment to salute Senator Begich — and PURR.)

Her Work Here Is Done

By Miss Kubelik

A couple of resignations are in the air — one that's already happened, and one that's surely going to.

In the first case, you have a former Governor of Kansas who is packing it in over at HHS after signing up 7.5 million Americans for affordable healthcare coverage. That is nothing to sneeze at. Kathleen Sebelius may be "embattled," as the headlines so love to say — and yes, the ACA roll-out had its share of problems. But she has just presided over the biggest expansion of healthcare coverage since the 1960s, and she can leave with her head held high.

The other resignation, which will probably happen tomorrow at 8 or 9 PM (Friday night news dump, don'tcha know), will be from a Republican who self-identified as a Christian conservative and devoted family man, but who this week was exposed as a smooching, hopeless fraud. As the saying goes, kiss that guy goodbye.

We cats are as amused by the specter of Republicans turning on Vance McAllister as we are amazed that so few in the media have picked up on the "self-identified" part of his shtick. "He broke out the religious card and he's about the most non-religious person I know," said the wronged husband. Hmmm... So now hypocritical GOP Christians are hypocritical about being Christian in the first place? Our heads are spinning.

Kathleen Sebelius never pretended to be a computer geek. But Vance McAllister said he was holier than thou. For that, he gets the Donald Trump Mountebank Award of the Week. And we cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The New Yorker celebrates the ACA's success. Ain't it the truth?)

Kiss Me Deadly

By Zamboni

When Republican Vance McAllister ran for Congress, he ran as a Christian conservative and devoted family man.

Now he's been caught on a security video, kissing a woman who is not his wife. (And the woman, a staffer, apparently has been fired — which opens up a whole 'nuther storyline that this blog is not yet prepared to discuss, but will.)

Today, we cats would just like to pose the following question:

Since McAllister ran as a principled Christian, and since he's now been exposed as, um, quite the opposite — shouldn't he resign?

UPDATE: We cats would also like to know why Rand Paul hasn't been hounded for a comment on this. Isn't McAllister's behavior similar to the "predatory" conduct that Paul so loves to disparage in Democrats? Just sayin'.

"Les Vraies Affaires" Win The Day

By Sniffles

Wow! Even we cats never dreamed that Pauline Maurois and her Parti Quebecois could have run the Canadian equivalent of a Steve Stockman campaign. But apparently they did.

The Liberal Party simply squished the PQ in yesterday's provincial election, grabbing the majority in Quebec City and running Marois out of town on a rail. She couldn't even hold onto her own seat, and has resigned as party leader. Ouch.

We cats are relieved. We were worried that the minority PQ government was going to be able to win its own majority, pass their ridiculous "charter of values" and start the province on the road to separation.

Instead, with a string of goofs and gaffes — and remember, a "gaffe" is when you accidentally blurt out what you secretly believe — they came off as a bunch of haters who wanted to rip head scarves off of people, kick Muslims out of their swimming pools and fire Jews who refused to remove their kippas in government offices. And if that were not enough, they also unmasked themselves as the fist-raising separatists they are.

Quebeckers — and maybe even those who would someday like to leave Canada — have clearly decided that their pocketbooks are more important than their pipe dreams. And since we cats also have no stomach for a third referendum, nous ronronnons.

(PHOTO: Like the teabaggers, PQ supporters wear silly hats.)

Fightin' Harry Doubles Down

By Baxter

We cats don't understand all this outraged huffing and puffing on the right about Harry Reid and the Koch brothers — unless it's just more proof that Harry really knows how to get under their skin.

Since the Republicans and the Roberts Court have made it so difficult for people to know who's behind the scurrilous anti-Obamacare ads that saturate the airwaves daily, we think it's only logical that Harry and the Democrats try to out the knaves and scoundrels called Koch.

As for the Kochs being "owed an apology," don't make us laugh. Since when are Chucky and Davey fine, upstanding citizens unfairly scourged as un-American? What could be more un-American than spending millions and millions of dollars and using blatant lies to scare people away from a law that will help them? (Although we do appreciate right-wing columnists getting all umbrage-y — ultimately, it just helps with the unmasking.)

You go, Harry. Put names and faces to the people who are trying to buy America (and screw Americans in the process). We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: New duds for Republicans in Congress, courtesy of Fightin' Harry's Twitter account.)

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Sunday/Dimanche Edition

By Miss Kubelik

Season 3 of "Veep" kicks off in a few minutes, so we cats will be quick. Here are a few political thoughts we're entertaining tonight.

Upset about the Supreme Court's decision in McCutcheon v. FEC? Don't just blame Roberts and Alito. Blame Ralph Nader for putting them there.

Wow, Georgia Republican nutbag Donald Perdue really stepped in it when he sniffed about Karen Handel's lack of a college degree. Not only was it kinda 47-percentish, he said it right before the Famous Quitter from Alaska came to the Peach State to campaign for her. Whoops!

On the other hand, we now know that Susan G. Komen's former vice president of public affairs only went to high school. Hm.

Wouldn't it just kill the pundits if in November, Democrats got so scared by Nate Silver that they turned out to vote — while the teabaggers got all discouraged that their candidates lost the primaries, and stayed home?

Finally, tomorrow is a big political day in the province of Quebec. We cats sincerely hope that the Parti Quebecois does not win a majority in the so-called National Assembly. It's been suggested — and the lame protestations of Pauline Maurois notwithstanding, we believe — that a win tomorrow will embolden the PQ on a separation referendum. Note to Maurois: Try to leave Canada, and you can forget getting either an NHL team back in Quebec City or Major League Baseball in Montreal. We cats HISS.

Yes, We Carry A Purse!

By Zamboni

We cats love it when news stories juxtapose in interesting ways. Case in point: No sooner did we hear that Mississippi is the place to go if you want to legally discriminate against gays, the CEO of Mozilla resigned so that he could rescue his company from his support of Proposition 8.

Since we use Firefox to publish this blog, we have to say we are darn relieved that Brendan Eich is history. And because we will never, ever visit the Magnolia State in the course of our nine lives, Governor Phil Bryant's approval of legislation that even Arizona's Jan Brewer dared not sign will not personally affect us.

But the Mississippi law is disgusting, and it surely will be declared unconstitutional at some point. In the meantime, it stands as the gay haters' last-ditch effort to influence market forces that are clearly trending against them.

Capitalism — ain't it grand? The teabags and the Phelpses and all those other so-called Christians not only want business owners to be able to refuse service to people they don't approve of — they happily scream that Americans should boycott gay-friendly companies like Google, Starbucks and Apple. But guess what, guys! We non-haters also have the power of the purse — and, as the Mozilla uproar shows, we won't hesitate to use it.

We're just glad Eich is toast so we don't have to boycott Firefox the way we've shunned Target these last few years. We cats PURR.

And Oh, Yeah, He Paints Houses, Too

By Snifffles

So George W. Bush — the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived — paints.

Big deal. Mind you, we cats would never be charmed by any artsy-crafty portraits that the Worst Person might produce, even if they weren't cartoonish or downright weird. We call him the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived for a reason, you know.

And before Worst Person partisans throw back into our furry faces the inconvenient truth that former President of the United States Jimmy Carter also paints, let us say the following.

Sure, Jimmy Carter paints. He also has written 28 books, eradicated guinea worm disease, helped wipe out river blindness, monitored elections in struggling democracies, won the Nobel Prize, and brought peace to the Middle East. (In fact, there's a play about that last accomplishment being staged in Washington right now. We cats were lucky enough to be at last night's Red Carpet Premiere and not get stomped by the hordes of humans at the reception after the show.)

Sometimes, a post-Presidency can be a true work of art. We know that Carter's is. We're not sure what the Worst Person's is.

Bobby Jindal: Total Quack

By Baxter

Want to know how pathetic the Republicans are when it comes to the Affordable Care Act? Their big "policy wonk" on "repeal and replace" is Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal.

Never mind the fact that the GOP has been screaming "repeal," with no details on what would "replace," for four years now. (What's taking you guys so long? And why don't you get asked about that?) It is simply laughable that Jindal presumes to roll out an alleged ACA alternative when healthcare-wise, he presides over one of the most disastrous states in the union.

Here are just a few fun facts about the Pelican State:

Louisiana has record-setting high rates of poverty, low median income levels, and nearly one million people without health insurance. Yet Jindal refuses to accept free money from the federal government and expand Medicaid.

Louisiana has one of America's highest rates of cancer mortality, with approximately 160 people dying from the disease each week. If you're a Louisianan with cancer, you have a 30-percent-better chance of dying from it than many other Americans do.

America's Health Rankings dings Louisiana for its high infant-mortality rate and its 34.7 percent rate of adult obesity, a huge contributor to diabetes. Louisiana also is above the national norm in core measures such as smoking, binge drinking and disparity in health status.

Among other statistics, the Trust for America's Health reports that Louisiana has a 31.5 percent immunization gap among children age 19 to 35 months. And more than 38 percent of adults in Louisiana suffer from hypertension.

We cats could go on and on like this. But given the positive coverage that the Affordable Care Act is getting right now — and how tone-deaf Jindal and the Republicans have proven to be — we're wondering if this rollout will cause Bobby's silly wonk-for-President campaign to implode. It will — if journalists have the guts to ask him why, with so many of his constituents suffering and unhealthy, he has any credibility on the subject.

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad GOP

By Miss Kubelik

Wow! We cats are so happy that the White House followed our advice and held a celebratory event for the Affordable Care Act today!

That's because 7.1 million Americans have basically told the Republicans to go stuff it by enrolling in Obamacare. Add to that number all the people who have gotten coverage through Medicaid or by going on their parents' plans until age 26, and we've got quite a passel of folks who will be able to get medical care and live better, healthier lives.

Which, as we know, the Republicans think is terrible, just terrible. Gosh, they must be so mad that, as the President pointed out, Obamacare is not making the world come to an end.

Come to think of it, have you ever noticed how many Republicans have anger issues? Chris Christie (and his entire staff), Joe Wilson, every single teabagger, Rush Limbaugh, Rick Perry (anyone who carries a gun while jogging has a problem), Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, John McCain, the famous quitter from Alaska, Steve King, Louie Gohmert, Ted Cruz, and the current queen of them all, Jennifer Stefano. They're all seething with hate for the man in the White House and his signature law that's going to help millions of Americans.

Looks like the Obamacare joke's on you, GOP. Happy April Fool's Day! We cats PURR.