The reviews of last night's New Hampshire Republican speed-dating confab are in, and boy, are they bad.
So bad that a certain bombastic buffoon who declined to attend is looking very smart today. As is Willard Mitt Romney. In our view, the universally panned candidate "forum" did nothing to knock Willard off his stealthy game to be the compromise candidate of 2016 (our theory, and, we think, a good one).
Otherwise, for the clown car passengers who did show up, there are no winners, only Donald Trump's favorite word, losers. But here are some of the biggest ones.
Jeb! Bush — The brother of the Worst Person Who's Ever Lived turned in a bumbling performance and thus did absolutely nothing to close the deal with folks who have yet to endorse him. A lost opportunity, particularly since the rubbery-faced John Kasich has squeaked into Thursday night's debate and all signs are that he's going to try to take Bush down a peg.
Still, no one wants to write Jeb! off (even though he's dropped in a series of recent polls), all thanks to his money. But now we're seeing headlines like this. Not good. If this keeps up, Mr. Exclamation Point Money Bags could end up being the John Connally of the Citizens United era. (Stumped on the reference? You could look it up.)
Rick Santorum — The 2012 also-ran said Carly Fiorina should be on the $20 bill. WTF? First, it's the $10 bill that will have a woman on it. Second, we think you have to be dead to be on US currency. But Santorum's comment is also — aside from being pandering and idiotic — a supreme example of the Republican penchant for rewriting history. Fiorina was fired from Hewlett-Packard. That qualifies her to go on money? (And P.S.: What self-respecting Republican wouldn't nominate Nancy Reagan for that? When she dies, of course.)
Carly Fiorina — Speaking of the failed H-P exec, she must have felt the walls closing in last night, because she whined pointedly about how much better the New Hampshire forum was, format-wise, than Thursday night's extravaganza on FOX. And then she spent the rest of her time calling Hillary Clinton a liar. Which is interesting — because a couple of months ago, Fiorina swore to TIME magazine that she'd be on the August 6th debate stage. So... who's the liar? We cats HISS.
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