Gallipacci

By Baxter

Maybe you've seen a lot of retrospectives about famous people who have died this year. While we admit that many folks we care about have checked out in 2017, let's take a moment to salute the long-running performers who are still with us.

Here are Carl Reiner, 95, and Nanette Fabray, 97. God bless them!

Some Cold, Hard Facts About Puerto Rico

By Miss Kubelik

Twenty years ago this January, a crippling ice storm paralyzed Quebec. Nearly four million people in the province were without power for weeks. Businesses closed, the Montreal subway ground to a halt, banks and their ATMs shut down, no mail was delivered, and people lined up for gas. In short, life stopped in its tracks.

So imagine what Quebec went through in cold temperatures, and transpose that to Puerto Rico in the tropics, today. The difference? The weather event that crippled Puerto Rico happened 100 days ago, not yesterday. The fact that American citizens in this US territory are still struggling is unconscionable.

Look: Climate change means that extreme temperatures are going to occur, hot or cold. Right now, the US and Canada are dealing with subzero weather, but the rest of the world is baking. And while the original disaster to befall Puerto Rico was quite possibly due to global warming, its aftermath is totally the fault of humans. (That is, if you consider Trump Administration officials human.)

We don't. As far as we're concerned, Trump has committed Puerto Rican genocide. He should be impeached, removed from office and sent to Guantanamo — just for that. But since no one will hold him to account for a US territory's suffering, we'll have to nail him on foreign collusion and obstruction of justice. Go, Bob Mueller, go! We cats PURR.

Yeah, We Still Hate Mike Pence

By Zamboni

Lost in all the chatter about impeachment and the 25th amendment is how truly, deeply, madly awful Mike Pence is.

We cats will never support removing Trump from office as long as Pence is next in line. Let the Democrats win the House next year, and let a Democratically-chaired House Judiciary Committee impeach both Trump and Pence, and we'll think about it. But until then, nyet.

In the meantime, this banner erected next door to where Pence and "Mother" are spending the weekend in Aspen will have to do. In fact, it's pretty darn swell. We cats PURR.

"Now, This Is A Knife"

By Sniffles

Turns out that the Trumpsters' claim that the Russia investigation is illegitimate because it sprang from the Steele dossier is a lie — like everything else Team Trump says, right? Thanks to today's reporting from The New York Times, it was, instead, a squiffy conversation that the hapless George Papadopoulos had with the Australian high commissioner to the United Kingdom that got the whole thing started.

Alexander Downer passed along Papadopoulos's drunken "the Russians have dirt on Hillary" boasts to US intelligence, and the rest is history.

In light of this important reporting, we send kudos to our Australian allies — and will refrain from saying that the ratting out of Papadopoulos was, for a Trumpsters, a real "downer." Oops, we just did. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: The Day After The Day After Boxing Day Edition

By Baxter

We cats haven't finished opening our presents yet, preferring to extend the gift-giving as long as possible. But we'll start tearing at them soon. While we cavort among the crumpled paper, ribbons and bows, consider some of these stories floating around the political world today.

Happy Certification Day, Doug Jones. The Democrat prevailed in Alabama's Senate race by 21,924 votes after a last-ditch effort by sore loser Roy Moore to stop the final count. Moore alleged election fraud in black precincts that turned out in record numbers to vote against him. Gee... we can't imagine why African Americans would want to defeat a guy who openly pined for the good ol' days of slavery — can you?

Donald Drumpf's tweet about today's Vanity Fair-Hillary Clinton dust-up seemed to imply that he thought Vogue editor Anna Wintour was at the helm of VF, too. We certainly thought it did. Some folks on Twitter tried to defend Trump by pointing out that Wintour holds an executive position at Condé Nast, the two magazines' joint publisher. We don't buy it. But you can bet that if HRC had made such a slip, Trump would have been all over it — tweeting that she'd lost her mental faculties and needed to check into an assisted living facility.

Speaking of ordering Hillary Clinton around, we have no interest in watching the silly Vanity Fair video that got everyone so upset. But we thought that actress Patricia Arquette had the best response: "STOP TELLING WOMEN," she tweeted with the F-word, what “THEY SHOULD DO OR CAN DO." Perfect.

Finally, yes, it's freezing here in the Northeast, and teeth are chattering up in Canada, too. But before idiot Republicans start tossing snowballs on the Senate floor and denying climate change, let's remember that the rest of the planet is breaking records for warmth. As Neil deGrasse Tyson cautions, weather does not equal climate. Take note, North America. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Always In Our Hearts

By Miss Kubelik

In a year in which Nazi sympathizers marched in Charlottesville, Virginia, and killed a woman there, it feels especially good to salute one of the 20th century's leading badass anti-Hitlerites, Marlene Dietrich, on her 116th birthday.

Google is sporting a stylish doodle today, and she was trending on Twitter, too. We cats would like to add our two cents and toast Madame Dietrich for her patriotic moxie during World War II.

Born in Germany and naturalized a US citizen in 1939, Dietrich was fiercely outspoken against the Nazis — which got her films banned in her home country, probably to her great delight. During the war, she visited and entertained American troops scarily close to the European front lines. She had spunk!

Oh, and did we mention she was gorgeous, and a terrific actress? Maybe those idiots who marched in Charlottesville should check out one of her best films, "Judgment at Nuremberg." They might learn a thing or two. We cats PURR.

Salt Lake Tribune: Bury The Hatch

By Zamboni

We cats were steaming the other day about Senator Orrin Hatch's pusillanimity on CHIP — the joint state-and-federal health insurance program for children that he and Ted Kennedy created back in the day. Funding for CHIP ran out weeks ago, and the GOP appears content to let it die — just like the kids with cancer who depend on the program to cover their lifesaving drugs, we guess.

So we were just teeing off on Twitter about how we hope Hatch is haunted by the ghost of Kennedy forever when we noticed that The Salt Lake Tribune agrees with us: Utah's senior senator is a disgrace, and should retire from Congress.

Heck, they didn't even mention CHIP. They went after Hatch for the tax bill and the environment — and his timidity in the face of this awful Administration's rapacious actions against America. Recognizing Hatch as 2017's "Utahan of the Year," the paper made it clear it wasn't a compliment — it was for Hatch's "utter lack of integrity that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power."

See? Republicans have a price to pay, even in the reddest of red states, when they sell their souls to Donald Trump. We cats take this as a further excellent omen for 2018, and we PURR.

Looking Ahead

We've had plenty of snow this holiday. How ironic that the first Christmas of the current, Nazi-loving Presidency is, um, a white one. Well, take heart, everyone — 2018 will help put America on the road to restoration. We cats PURR.

Is It Safe To Come Out Yet?

By Sniffles

Since Pope Francis has decided to speak out on the plight of the world's migrants tonight (in an assumed rebuke to the racist sociopath who currently occupies the Oval Office), we cats must report that politics have also touched our holiday revelries — at least a bit.

Having enjoyed a terrific performance last night at Montreal's House of Jazz, we've learned that the establishment was formerly named for its previous owner, Charles Biddle, an American bass player who relocated to Quebec after serving in World War II. Why did Biddle make the move? Because he was impressed that in Montreal, white and black musicians played together with no problem — unlike in the United States.

Of course, the civil rights movement came in the Fifties and Sixties, and things in the US got better. But lately, we've been feeling like we're backsliding. It's amazing how effectively hate can seem to take hold when it flows down from the top.

So our holiday wish is that, in 2018, love manages to trump all that — with a ton of Democratic votes. That would make us cats PURR.

"Miss America"... Is That Still A Thing?

By Baxter

It seems like every profession is being outed vis-a-vis bad behavior by the guys who inhabit it. Producers, actors, symphony conductors, CEOs, politicians, journalists, chefs, team owners — you name it, no field is immune. Because men are jerks, and they hold the reins of power pretty much everywhere.

With the possible exception of Al Franken, whom we've blogged about before, we cats are generally encouraged that abusive men are getting their just deserts. But we have to admit that we really don't care about the latest boor outing — Sam Haskell, the now-suspended head of the Miss America Organization.

Don't get us wrong — no Miss America contestant deserves to be referred to in a Haskell email as a "cunt." But gosh, in this year-of-our-Lord-almost-2018, beauty pageants are surely out of date, yes? There's no reason in this day and age for women to find affirmation by parading around in swimsuits and high heels — right? Can't we just disband the whole thing, and call it a day?

Well, we can discuss that. In the meantime, we think we know who the real cunt is: Sam Haskell. Screw you, asshole. We cats HISS.

America Needs You, Al Franken — In Whatever Capacity

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are sad to see Al Franken leave the Senate. Every time we start to fume that he got railroaded — Roger Stone's fingerprints are all over this one — we remind ourselves of that photo on the plane coming back from the Middle East. We love Al, but we would not have liked to have been the woman in that photo, and we've already said as much.

That said, with the mantle of the US Senate off him come January 2, we're hopeful that not only will Al Franken not go away, we'll see a new Al, unleashed. Unlike the last eight years, he won't have a staff warning him, "Okay, that's for inside the car." For Al Franken, everything will be outside the car. Which could be a good thing.

His farewell speech today reminded us that we need his voice now more than ever. Note to Senator Franken: Think about new ways to use that voice. Just no more silly pictures, okay? We cats PURR.

Shelly, By A Nose? Not So Fast.

By Zamboni

Democrat Shelly Simonds has apparently just wrested a House of Delegates seat from Republican David Yancey after a head-spinning recount put her up 11,608 to 11,607 in Newport News, Virginia. Wow!

Assuming certification takes place tomorrow, the lower chamber in Richmond will now be tied 50-50, and — with a closely divided Senate, a Democratic lieutenant governor to break ties and a new Democratic governor with a veto pen — Virginia Republicans will have to get off their wacky, right-wing ideological train and try to pass some real-world legislation for a change. Sweet!

This isn't just a lesson in how important your vote is. It's a portent — ominous, for them — of how much trouble the GOP is in. Sure, Simonds won by a nose — or maybe by just a whisker — but it was the Commonwealth's sweeping Democratic wave last month that helped get her in striking distance in the first place.

Note to Republicans: While you're celebrating your destruction of the American middle class today, be warned. You just lost your majority in Virginia by a single vote, and the rest of you clowns are next. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

UPDATE: See, this is why we cats are always careful to go with the bird in the paw, not the one in the bush. A three-judge panel refused to certify the results today and accepted a ballot for the Republican, Yancey — leaving the race tied. We won't try to predict what the coin toss will bring, but here's what's still true: The wave's coming, GOP. The wave's coming. We cats PURR.

Cat Fight! Puerto Rico Versus The GOP

By Sniffles

The odious, smirky-faced Paul Ryan must be turning cartwheels today that the House of Representatives has voted to rape America with its giveaway to the rich.

Lost in all the hootin' and hollerin' is the fact that the Governor of Puerto Rico has sworn to get revenge. Why? Because the bill will damage the island's economy by raising taxes on companies doing business there — at the worst possible, post-Hurricane-Maria time.

"Everything is on the table," Ricardo Rosselló said, accusing "those who turned their back on Puerto Rico."

Please note that Governor Rosselló has previously refrained from publicly criticizing Donald Trump and the GOP, even though this hapless Republican Administration has killed more than 1,000 of Rosselló's constituents and sent more than a hundred thousand fleeing to Florida, Chicago, New York and other US havens.

A strong supporter of statehood, Rosselló has put Republicans on notice that their backstabbing, plus so many Puerto Ricans registering to vote on the mainland, will help spell doom for the GOP next year. "It's crystal clear that because we don't have that direct representation we're going to have surrogate voices, whether it's Puerto Ricans who moved to the US or the Latino community in general," he said.

The upshot? That the consequences of — and fallout from — this "beautiful" tax bill will be even more numerous and far-reaching than we thought. And no one in the GOP, not even the phony alleged super-wonk in the Speaker's chair, has the foggiest idea of how nasty this is going to get for them in 2018. We cats PURR.

Shot Across The Bow

By Baxter

Robert Mueller is a man of few words. These days, very few words. Since his appointment as Special Counsel last spring (which Republicans like Newt Gingrich praised to the skies), Mueller has been silent. He's too busy investigating the Trumpsters' collusion with the Russians.

But now that the Trump traitors feel the heat, they're going after Mueller like never before. The cranking up of the conservative attack machine — particularly their latest silly squawk that Mueller obtained transition emails inappropriately — has made lots of folks nervous that a firing is imminent. (Although King Tiny Hands denies it.)

So Team Mueller has decided they need to speak — briefly. Here's the official statement from spokesperson Peter Carr:

"When we have obtained emails in the course of our ongoing criminal investigation, we have secured either the account owner's consent or appropriate criminal process."

Ahem. Anybody else catch the use — not once, but twice — of the word "criminal"? We think that's not an accident. We cats PURR.

"Who Won't Buy Into Climate Change / Until It's Sold On The Stock Exchange?"

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have been struck by the similarities between the Trumpsters and the Stephen Harper crowd that got booted out of power in Canada back in the fall of 2015. Harper tried to muzzle scientists on environmental and other issues — and now, Trump is following suit, even more malevolently.

It sure feels like Nazi Germany or some other totalitarian state. So while we still have freedom of speech, can someone please write a Trump version of "Harperman"? 'Cuz it's time for Trump — and the GOP — to go.

A Movie And A Book

This video confirms it: There'd be no Christmas to wage war on if it weren't for us! We cats PURR.

This Is It

Folks, if you need health insurance in 2018 and don't have employer-provided coverage, tonight is your last chance to sign up for Obamacare. The Trumpsters are bent on killing the Affordable Care Act — don't let them. Sign up here before it's too late!

Good Riddance

By Zamboni

It's pretty Scrooge-y to be hardhearted during the holidays, but we cats are feeling no sympathy over the lamebrain Republican state rep who committed suicide in Kentucky the other day.

Sound harsh? You bet. But it's hard to muster anything but contempt for a guy who threatened to kill Muslims in his front yard (how Christian of him) and who circulated pictures on social media that depicted Barack and Michelle Obama as apes. Oh, and then there's the little matter of the 17-year-old girl he molested in church back in 2013. As far as we're concerned, now that this guy is gone a lot of underage vaginas are blessedly safe from his drunken, wandering fingers.

All righty then, we've gotten that off our furry chests. Nothing left to do but share this idiot's rambling, he-doth-protest-too-much Face Thing suicide note and acknowledge that at the very least, he was deeply disturbed. Of course, we knew that the moment he posted racist pictures of the Obamas. But it's taken killing himself to make the rest of the world see it. Don't rest in peace, Dan Johnson. We cats HISS.

P.S., USA Today: Trump Isn't Fit To Clean Joe Biden's Toilets, Either

One day after USA Today published this brutal editorial about Donald Trump — and after Trump's bigoted, pedophile US Senate candidate lost in Alabama — Joe Biden showed up on "The View" to remind us all what we used to have.

Happy First Night Of Hanukkah, Kayla Moore

By Sniffles

Many, many things about Roy Moore have offended us cats over the years. His flouting of the rule of law, which got him tossed off the bench not once but twice. His hatred of anybody who is not white, straight and male. His fake, fake, FAKE Christianity.

But nothing offended us more than Kayla Moore's "one of our lawyers is a Jew" speech last night. We just couldn't believe it — were we really hearing that in America in 2017? Then we realized that it was just more of what we saw in Charlottesville in August. Somebody might just as well have shoved a tiki torch in Kayla's hand and given her a Polo shirt and a pair of khaki slacks (size 18, no doubt).

So as close as it is, tonight's apparent win in Alabama by Doug Jones is sweet beyond words. Sore loser Mitch McConnell may not allow Jones to get sworn in in time to vote against the tax bill, but at least the anti-Semites got their just deserts. We cats PURR.

Double Digits? "We Poll, You Decide"

By Baxter

There are two ways to look at the FOX poll that shows Democratic Senate candidate Doug Jones 10 points ahead of Republican child molester Roy Moore in Alabama.

1. Maybe it's legitimate, with the pollsters doing their best to predict turnout — and, in an un-FOX-like desire for respectability, they reported the results as accurately and fairly as possible.

2. Maybe it's all about Trump. Saddling Moore with a 10-point deficit means that, should Moore lose by less than that, FOX will have let Trump claim that he brought Moore to a close, but not-quite-victorious finish. Remember, this is what Trump claimed about Luther Strange's showing after the primary.

Or, should Moore win, Trump can claim that he, and he alone, dragged a horribly damaged guy over the finish line.

We have to say that a version of #2 was the one that immediately popped into our furry minds. FOX's track record doesn't exactly inspire us to give them the benefit of the doubt. We cats HISS.

A Tale Of Two Campaigns

By Miss Kubelik

The shocking results of Election Day 2016 taught us cats not to draw too many inferences from the states of opposing campaigns. Who would have thought that the bumbling, stumbling Trumpsters and their fractious and fractured GOP would emerge victorious last November? (Well, Vlad Putin had something to do with it, didn't he?)

Nevertheless, if you look at the two operations down in Alabama this weekend, they're pretty intriguing. Democratic Senate candidate Doug Jones has been barnstorming the state, including hitting a passel of black churches today with Senator Cory Booker. Republican Roy Moore, he of the dead eyes and the wandering hands, has disappeared.

Moore hasn't been seen on the campaign trail since last Tuesday — which is extraordinary for a major-party candidate in the final stretch to Election Day. He didn't even attend church this morning! (Oh, and Moore people? If you convene a meeting with the press to discuss sexual misconduct allegations and then don't take any questions from reporters, you can't call it a press conference. Just sayin'.)

So what we have in Moore is not just a pedophile with contempt for the rule of law, but a coward. Roy Moore is paralyzed with fear — fear of the national media swarming Alabama, fear of a confrontation with an accuser, and fear of angry protesters — the typically craven behavior of someone who'd force himself on underage girls. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Cory and Doug, on the trail. GOTV, guys!)

"Traditional Values" Get Interesting

By Zamboni

We cats just knew that when the news broke that fetus-face Trent Franks — one of the GOP's most rabid anti-abortion crusaders — pleaded with his female staff members to have his surrogate baby, he was not talking about in vitro fertilization.

So we waited: Time will tell, we thought. And then, indeed, it did.

Franks abruptly resigned today. Not later, as he'd previously said — but today. And then in a few hours it emerged that he'd been importuning women on his staff to have his baby the "regular way." He'd even offered one of them $5 million for the privilege.

We just want to point out that Mr.-Must-Oppose-Abortion-At-Any-Cost pleading with staff members to bear his child isn't just creepy. It's about men who view women as nothing more than vessels — baby machines — and not as people. It's about allegedly Christian men viewing women as reproductive factories controlled by them.

Reminder: Women will never be equal until they have the methods and the means to control their reproductive destiny. Sadly, this appears to be a struggle that we are, still, far from winning. In fact, we're probably taking a few steps back every time we take a step forward. Weary from battles we fought that we thought were already won, we cats HISS.

Run Everywhere.

By Sniffles

Looking for some holiday cheer? Here's a story that made us smile: A gay man who was denied a marriage license by Rowan, Kentucky, County Clerk Kim Davis has just filed to run against her in the next election.

Here he is, in fact — filling out the necessary paperwork, while Miss Glum looks on.

We cats love this. Not just because karma's a bitch, and not just because the idea of maybe beating this hater is too delicious to contemplate. We love it because it's so important for liberals, Democrats — and everyone who's appalled and alarmed by the Trumpsters and the Republicans — to run in every race we can. At all levels — local, state and federal.

We saw this happen in Virginia, where great candidates sprang up for local races and, in many cases, turned the racists and the haters out. That's a real inspiration. But even if we don't win, we've damn well fielded somebody. After all, you never know when lightning will strike.

Meanwhile, if you want to support David Ermold and his campaign to oust the ever-loathsome Kim Davis, click here. We cats PURR.

Rescue On Highway 1

The world has a new hero — a young man who couldn't bear to see a bunny rabbit succumb to the flames of the Southern California wildfires. We cats are in love, and we PURR.

"When A Nation Loses Its Funny Man, A Part Of Its Heart Is Ripped Out Forever"

By Baxter

Okay, so all our caterwauling was for naught, and Senator Al Franken will resign his Senate seat in the next few weeks. And it looks like America will get another female Democratic Senator.

So maybe life could be worse? We were surprisingly reassured by Franken's speech today, which was intelligent and — in weird circumstances — uplifting. Falling on his sword has restored his credibility, and we're pleased to know that he isn't going away.

Now it's time to tell a tiny Al Franken story. When we cats met him at a fundraiser in 2008, we made a point of telling him how much we liked his short-lived TV series "Lateline" — especially the Buddy Hackett episode. (You can watch the meaty bits of it above.)

We were looking forward to an interesting conversation with the candidate about how, thanks to the sorry state of modern media, a celebrity story will always pre-empt more serious news. But instead, Al immediately launched, sotto voce, into a dirty Hackett joke that dated from Buddy's days in the Catskills. We don't remember it exactly, but it had something to do with testicles.

Kind of a disappointment, that. But it apparently was something that a comedian would do.

We guess that's why we can pretty easily picture Al Franken doing the things he did that, today, drove him from the Senate. It's probably unfair, and it's sad, but the Democrats' slate is now clean — until the next one comes along. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

(P.S. This "Lateline" episode is still fresh and funny, even though Buddy Hackett did leave us — for real — on June 30, 2003. But do check out the name of the fictional hospital that the "Lateline" Buddy was admitted to back in 1998.)

Just Another Reminder...

By Miss Kubelik

The Trumpsters are trying to sabotage the Affordable Care Act. Don't let them. Enrollments are exceeding last year's, but with budget cuts and the signup period slashed in half, that may not be enough. If you need healthcare coverage, enroll here today.

We Beg To Differ

By Zamboni

We cats like our Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, very much — but you can't agree with someone on everything, can you? So we're parting ways with her today on the question of Senator Al Franken. We sincerely hope that tomorrow, Senator Franken does not resign.

We've already opined on Franken's unfortunate #MeToo behavior, so we don't need to bore you by repeating ourselves. But events have moved so swiftly since then that now we need to come to Al's defense. Not only is he a good guy and a great advocate for women's rights, but his offenses just don't rise to the level of, say, Donald Trump's or Clarence Thomas's. (Or that Republican nutcase who's running for Senate in Alabama.) Why should he fall on his sword if those jackasses don't? Plus it feels like a right-wing setup, not that that excuses anything.

It all just makes us sigh, because this is how Republicans always have us over a barrel — they know that we believe in doing the right thing, and they don't. Frustrated as we are, though, we have a few suggestions that Democrats might want to consider:

Let Franken resign, but only if Roy Moore wins Jeff Sessions's Senate seat next week. After which Al says, "I'm not serving in the World's Greatest Deliberative Body with an accused pedophile!"

Let Franken resign, but only if the "Apprentice" sexual misconduct case against Trump is allowed to proceed.

Let Franken resign before the Alabama election, and have Governor Dayton appoint Congressman Keith Ellison to Al's seat — so there's a Muslim in the Senate waiting to greet Moore if he gets there. That would make us cats PURR.

Kellyanne Conway Says "Nobody Cares" About Her #MeToo Moment

via GIPHY

What can we say? She's right. We cats YAWN.

Counting Noses

By Sniffles

Team Trump has gone back and forth a few times on this "what-did-Trump-know-that-Michael-Flynn-did" matter when Trump "fired" Flynn on February 13. This is dicey for them, because as we all know, Trump met with then-FBI director James Comey on February 14 and asked that the Bureau stop pursuing Flynn.

After a self-incriminating Trump tweet that "lawyer" John Dowd later claimed to have written, Dowd has now decided to say that yes, Trump knew about Flynn lying to the FBI as well as to Mike Pence, but that's okay because a President cannot obstruct justice.

Hm. Interesting notion, that. We can hear Richard Nixon screaming from the grave right now.

Anyway, here's our take on all this: Trump screwed up, not just this but a whole bunch of Russia-related things, and he knows how much hot water he's in. We're not saying he totally understands it — just that he gets enough of it to be counting impeachment votes in the Senate.

How do we know? Easy-peasy. Why else would he be pressuring the 83-year-old Utah Senator Orrin Hatch to run for re-election again, and thus deny Willard Mitt Romney a shot at his seat? Hatch would be a "NO" vote on impeachment. Romney would be a "YES." We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Can't Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night For the Supermoon? Here's A Handy Feel-Good Substitute.

via GIPHY

Sometimes the news is so bleak, there's nothing left to do but curl up with some red panda. So here you go! We cats PURR.

Saturday Night Questions

By Baxter

It's been a rough week, hasn't it? Not that there haven't been some glimmers of optimism that in the end, the country will be salvaged and not sink into a corrupt oligarchy for the rest of its days. (We're looking at you, Robert Mueller.) But gosh — the US Senate just behaved like a banana republic, and John McCain, who is dying of brain cancer, decided that his legacy would be to rip healthcare coverage from 13 million Americans. That is depressing.

Nevertheless, hope springs eternal, and in that spirit, we have a few questions tonight.

Isn't it amazing that the one Senator with honor on the Republican side last night was Bob "Harold, Call Me" Corker? More proof that the GOP's souls are filled with unwashed socks.

Are we all going to find out who K.T. McFarland is now?

A new poll has put Doug Jones a whisker ahead of Roy Moore in the Alabama Senate race — three points. So, okay, the polls are going to be all over the place for the next week and a half. But this one got our attention in a very special way. "Who do you trust more to handle the issue of abortion?" Forty-seven percent said Moore, but 46 percent said Jones. Abortion is supposed to be Jones's Achilles heel in Alabama. Could it be that it isn't?

Finally, OMG, can we not impeach Trump and Pence before January 2019? Because if Trump is toast and Pence goes down with him, the next one in line is Paul Ryan. We must get Ryan out of the Speaker's chair, tout de suite, before any of that can happen. We cats PURR.

Rope-A-Dope

By Miss Kubelik

Having heard the Michael Flynn guilty-plea news, we cats assume that the Interwebs are breaking under the strain of "LOCK HIM UP" being tweeted and blogged zillions of times.

But amid all the cacophony, it's dawned on us that this past May, it was revealed that in the dark days after the election, when President Obama met in the Oval Office with the narcissistic sociopath who was soon to occupy it, Obama warned Donald Trump not to hire Flynn for national security adviser. Or maybe for anything.

So we're wondering: Did Obama know that any advice that he, Obama, gave Trump would be not just instantly rejected by Trump but that Trump would race pell-mell into doing the exact opposite thing?

Yes and yes. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Look at Obama grin. He knows something.)

Matt Lauer Is A POS And Good Riddance

By Zamboni

Goodness gracious — we cats don't usually lose our composure, but this Matt Lauer business has caused us, just this moment, to let 'er rip.

We will take a moment to groom and contain ourselves. Thank you.

Because there are a few things we'd like to say about Matt Lauer. 1) We never liked him. 2) We never thought he was attractive. 3) His behavior during the 2016 election was not only despicable but predictive of his overall attitude toward women. 4) Fuck him.

Sorry — we know that last point was a little bit vulgar. Let us just reiterate that we did not mean #4 literally. Unless it involves a heated lead pipe, up Matt Lauer's ass. We cats PURR.

America's Kobayashi Maru?

By Sniffles

This week feels like the darkest one yet since November 8, 2016. The chaos and mayhem that Trump seems to thrive upon is destroying our government's ability to function. Which is probably what the Republicans want in the first place, yes? Or at least, what Grover Norquist wants.

The rest of us 330 million, however, probably feel differently. We'd like our infrastructure to exist, our national parks to be open, our banks to be regulated, our Social Security to be paid, our Medicare to be available, the ACA to be intact, and — oh, by the way — we'd like our safety to be guarded, and not threatened to be blown apart by thermonuclear war with North Korea. Just sayin'.

That aside, it looks like the "tax bill" may pass, so even though three million more Americans voted against stuff like this than voted for it, we may get Obamacare gutted, the middle class and the poor slammed with new taxes, and, in sum, America radically altered — all without Congressional hearings or due diligence — and we haven't even gotten to the subjects of Trump retweeting racist videos and the hollowing out of the State Department.

God, this is just a nightmare.

Is there a ray of hope, anywhere? Will Glinda the Good Witch descend in a bubble and tell us we've always had the power to go back to Kansas?

Well, maybe. There are more of us than of them — and in Virginia, tons of us turned out two and a half weeks ago to say, screw you, Republicans. And so many of those voters were young people — 69 percent — that we think, hey! Trump and the GOP and the haters have awakened a sleeping giant, and they'll get their asses kicked, starting in November 2018.

Hang on to that, folks — and let's keep working our butts off. It isn't easy. The odds are against us and the situation is grim. But it sounds like fun. We cats PURR.

Your Choice: "PC-Ville"? Or Trump's Dark, Dystopian, Carnage-Filled America?

By Baxter

Gosh, when we see news like today's out of Canada, it makes us pine for the kind of country America could be — if it weren't currently run by haters and gangsters.

In the House of Commons this afternoon, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a formal apology to Canadian gays and lesbians who had suffered discrimination in government, the military, and elsewhere. "It is our collective shame that you were so mistreated," Trudeau said. "And it is our collective shame that this apology took so long — many who suffered are no longer alive to hear these words. And for that, we are truly sorry."

The Trudeau government is putting money where its mouth is, too: $145 million in compensation to gay civil servants who were hounded out of jobs and careers, and $15 million to education about sexual orientation and the law. And the fact that the apology was delivered by the son of the Prime (then Justice) Minister who decriminalized homosexuality back in the '60s is even sweeter.

It's the second apology from Trudeau to a marginalized minority in less than a week, coming on the heels of his emotional mea culpa to Indigenous youth who decades ago had been forced into boarding schools to make them "assimilate."

We can hear the Trumpsters now: Oh, they must be screaming, how politically correct! Justin is such a loser!

You know what? The guy who insulted Native American World War II veterans to their faces yesterday should think twice before criticizing Trudeau. We cats PURR.

Priorities

By Miss Kubelik

Danica Roem is our new heroine. If we cats still lived in Manassas, Virginia, we'd be sitting on her porch every morning, begging to be let in for coffee and danish and a chat.

Not only did Danica beat a self-righteous Republican pig in this month's House of Delegates race — and gave him a canny twist of the knife with her gracious "Bob is my constituent now" response to the press — she's kept up her laser-like focus on the local issues that helped her soar to victory in the first place.

And this morning Danica unleashed a brilliant tweetstorm that took Virginia Republicans to task for the campaign they just ran.

"I spent 10 months detailing my plan to fix Route 28...Y'all hit me on 'transgenderism,'" she wrote. "At the state level, y'all made a pediatrician who volunteers at a children's hospice out to be a member of MS-13, and campaigned throughout the state on Confederate statues and fiscally reckless tax cuts your own state senators called BS. And you wonder why you lost?

"When you spend an entire year just trying to make people afraid of people in their community and you apply these asinine labels as if you're trying to make people afraid of an ideology or an idea, then you're neglecting the very basics of governing to divide our communities.

"Bottom line: Knock off the divisive BS and actually campaign on boring stuff like infrastructure, because it's the boring stuff that the people pay you with their tax dollars to work on so they don't have to focus on it. That's literally your job. Try doing it."

Brava! She's absolutely right. Thousands of Prince William County residents lose days of their lives stuck in traffic each year, but the only things that matter to the GOP are Danica Roem's sex life and gender orientation? Please.

Have Republicans learned their lesson? Apparently not. Which we hope means that they'll lose even more elections. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Danica does a radio interview over breakfast. Subject? Route 28, of course!)

Just A Coupla Guys Named Joe

By Zamboni

It's time once again for Bill O'Reilly's favorite thing, the War on Christmas. (By the way, do we think that Bill's learned his lesson and will behave himself at holiday parties? We're skeptical. So we'd advise any fellow guests to stay away from the mistletoe.)

Meanwhile, the season marches on — and LGBTers and the people who love them are merrily mixing it up with gay nativity scenes, Christmas ornaments and other amusing gewgaws. We expect the heads of offended faux-Christians to keep exploding in rage.

But what's to be so upset about? After all, like today's LGBT activists, Joseph, Mary and Jesus were simply expanding the notion of what constituted a family. (Not everyone gets to have a God at their dinner table, but still.) We cats PURR.

Another Important Announcement

By Sniffles

We cats just want to get it on the record that we're honored to have played a part in the nabbing of a potential Obama assassin.

"The person behind a plot to harm and possibly kill Barack Obama was identified, authorities said, when tiny cat hairs found on an explosive package were matched to cats owned by a 46-year-old Texas woman," The Guardian has reported.

On the other hand, now we're worried about that woman's cats. If she's going to jail, will someone adopt them? They're innocent by-sitters, after all. We cats PURR.

An Important Announcement

Cat Fancy magazine just called to say we were PROBABLY going to be named Cats Of The Year, but we would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. We said "probably" was no good, and took a pass. Thanks anyway!

Questions For Vendredi Fou

By Baxter

Today is Black Friday. We cats won't be out among the mobs, but we have a few politically oriented questions for the day after Thanksgiving.

Will any mall let Roy Moore shop there today? Ever?

Has there been a rush of donations to food banks from people who saw the Joe Barton nude fat-stomach photo and lost their appetite for Thanksgiving dinner?

Is there any chance that Michael Flynn flipping to Team Mueller means that he hasn't given up Donald Trump?

On that note: Any particular reason that Trump told the Coast Guard yesterday, "You never know about an ally — an ally can turn"?

Finally, will the repeal of net neutrality be the Republican Party's nail in the coffin with young voters? We certainly hope so. There is so much that the GOP has done to kill their prospects with voters across the board — for years. We cats HISS.

Pushing The Boundaries

By Miss Kubelik

Seeking more sanity in a world that politically has gone crazy, we cats spent the afternoon at Montreal's Museum of Contemporary Art in the company of Leonard Cohen. What a tonic.

Then we got back to our computers and realized that some sore-loser, insecure-male Republican in the Virginia House of Delegates is refusing to refer to newly elected Danica Roem as "the gentlewoman from Prince William." Because Danica is transgender, this jackass says, rather than afford her the usual respect, the rules of address in the House need to be changed. We shudder to think which bathroom they'll make her use.

Our next thought? That Danica is too busy and too focused to let this idiocy do anything but roll off her back. The hangups of Richmond Republicans pale in importance to solving the traffic problems on Route 28. And it didn't take long to find out that we were right:

"What matters the most is that I’m [in the House]," Danica said. "What matters the most to the people of the 13th District is that the woman they elected to serve them will be working on their behalf. I will be the delegate from Prince William, and I will conduct myself as the gentlewoman from Prince William while I’m in Richmond and in any other official capacity in which I serve."

(Get that, guys? "Any other official capacity," LOL. Brace yourselves.)

Danica is a groundbreaker, like so many other people we admire: people who are still with us and just starting to make their marks on the world — and people who are gone but who'll never really leave us. Not as long as we can crack open a book of poetry or put on a CD. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Leonard Cohen by Claude Gassian, Trouville, 1988)

If You Turn A Cheek, Maybe Someone Will Rub It.

By Zamboni

How much easier Roy Moore's life would be if he would just follow the teachings of the dude he says he worships, Jesus Christ.

We don't mean Moore abusing underage girls and terrorizing them at the local mall, although we can't picture Jesus doing any of that, and we're pretty sure his teachings would forbid it. We're thinking instead about that exhortation that inconveniently pops up in the Gospel of Matthew.

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,'" Jesus said. "But I say to you...if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

Moore is failing that test, and super-badly. Ever since his sexual-misconduct bombshell derailed his ride to victory in the Alabama Senate race, he's reacted with defiance, fury and threats to sue. The Washington Post, which broke the story, was unimpressed, as were other media outlets. And today we noticed that the TV talking heads routinely referred to Moore as a predator or a pedophile. Without the word "alleged" in front of it, either.

What's Moore going to do? Sue everybody in the world? Wouldn't things be simpler if he just obeyed the dictates of his Savior and submitted gladly to his tormentors? Not only would he save a lot of money on legal fees, he'd score a lot of points in Paradise. Hm! We cats HISS.

Leonard, Vu Par Ses Partisans

One year after Leonard Cohen left us, he gazes serenely over the city of Montreal. We cats PURR.

Whataboutism

By Sniffles

We cats don't usually stoop to the Trumpsters' level, but we can't resist playing a little game of "whatabout" tonight.

Mainly because the Republicans have the biggest, most delicious, most excruciatingly embarrassing example of "whatabout" going. And it's not Donald Trump (although we hear he has some underage-girl problems of his own). And it's not even about Roy Moore (despite that cringeworthy press event Wifey Moore held today).

Nope, the cake must be taken by this dude, former Ohio state rep Wes Goodman — a God-mongering, right-wing, evangelical Republican hypocrite who clearly couldn't bear being gay and had to terrorize other members of the LGBTQ community on public policy while secretly indulging in naughty behavior behind closed doors.

Turns out, though, it wasn't so secret. The Washington Post reports that not only has Goodman (an inappropriate name, considering) had to resign after someone nabbed him having sex with a guy in his office, but two years ago he fondled an 18-year-old at a Washington fundraiser. Even though the teen's stepfather complained at the time, the so-called "Christian" organizations that backed Goodman's candidacy chose to look the other way.

So see, this is what we're talking about.

We Democrats don't believe in telling people how to live their lives when it comes to stuff like this. Republicans, on the other hand, love to do it. They enact laws to do it — usually after a slew of emotional speeches about how America has lost its moral compass and is on the road to hell. So when they get caught with their pants down, literally as well as figuratively, they fall much, much harder.

What's that line about being without sin and casting the first stone? We think it's much more important to give people opportunities to make their lives better, whether it's by providing them with the support they need to get a leg up in this world, or by celebrating their ability to marry whom they love.

So if our guys end up posing for silly photos or having blowjobs in the Oval Office, it's just that much easier to forgive them because when it comes to making policy, they have people's interest at heart. Heck, if you don't believe us, ask this feminist. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Wes Goodman and his hapless, blinkered wife. Wonder what kind of a Friday night they're having? Hmm!)

These Gag Photos Are Amusing. Not Al Franken's.

By Baxter

Never let it be said that we cats are hypocrites and excuse Democrats for bad behavior while slamming Republicans. We were disappointed today in Al Franken, whom we otherwise like very much — mostly for the 11-year-old, faux-breast-grabbing photograph of himself and a sleeping Leeann Tweeden.

We won't reproduce that photo here, mainly because Tweeden has already accepted Franken's apology, which was profuse and eloquent. But gag pictures of sleeping friends and acquaintances can be dicey territory and need to be handled gently, like these. Howard Dean's slumbering campaign staffers must have been amused — once they woke up. (We envision them asking the Gov to sign a copy.) The kid in the picture with President Obama will probably live with enthralled embarrassment — and dine out on the story — for the rest of his life.

So, can we move on? Oh, wait — we still have that guy in Alabama, who creeps out young girls at shopping malls, running for Senate.

If we do tend to forgive Democrats more easily for stuff, it's because they never set themselves up as arbiters of moral behavior the way the Republicans do. So their embarrassment is always less than when the scolds in the GOP turn out to be sinners, cads and hypocrites. It hasn't escaped our notice that Al Franken, a Jewish man, has, before 24 hours have passed, said he was sorry and asked for a Senate ethics investigation — while the alleged super-Christian, Roy Moore, has attacked his accusers and threatened to sue. We cats HISS.

The Eyes Have It (Brrrr...)

We saw photos of Doug Jones and Roy Moore side-by-side yesterday and were struck by how dead Moore's eyes are. They're empty and cold — like a shark's. Now we know how all those girls at the mall must have felt. We cats SHUDDER.

Crapitol Hill

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have always known that Capitol Hill is a lousy place to work. And not just for the nightmarish stories we've seen in the news lately.

Workspace is cramped. The cost of living in DC is high — but pay is low. Members of Congress guard their healthcare plans and other privileges closely, and refuse to share them. Unless you work for a longtime incumbent, job security can be dodgy — just ask Luther Strange's staff how they're feeling these days. And with the way Republicans are running things — i.e., terribly — we're pretty sure that stress levels are through the roof.

Did we really need to hear that $15 million paid to settle sexual harassment and other claims over the last 10 years?

Ugh. We believe in government, but we know a bad operation when we see one. It makes us wonder how adding a known pedophile to its ranks could debase Congress further. We cats hack up a hairball, and we HISS.

Taxing Questions For Elise Stefanik

By Zamboni

We cats are represented in Congress by one of those "moderate" Republicans who manages to skate by on that reputation while voting for obnoxious Trumpy stuff that's harmful to her constituents. (Obamacare, anyone?) This drives us crazy, and one of the top items on our 2018 to-do list is to join with our fellow Democrats in New York's 21st district to kick her butt out of office.

Lately, she's trying to coast along and have it both ways on the Republicans' proposed tax cut for the wealthy. "I do not support this bill as it's currently written," she says. She swears she's going to work on it to make it better.

Since we're certain that the loathsome Paul Ryan has assured her that she'll be able to cast a sham vote against the bill once it's sure to pass the House, we have some questions for her:

• Have you pressured your House leadership to conduct public hearings on this legislation?
• Have you asked that representatives of the home builders industry be allowed to testify on mortgage interest and property tax deductions?
• Have you asked that representatives of local New York school districts and institutions of higher learning be allowed to testify on school-tax and student-loan deductions?
• Have you asked that representatives of New York state and local governments be allowed to testify on the deduction of local taxes?
• Have you asked if struggling New York parents of children with significant health issues or handicaps can testify on medical-expense deductions?
• Have you pressured your Republican colleagues in the Senate to oppose the House version of this legislation?
• In short, have you done anything to demonstrate effective, concerted opposition to this massively destructive bill? Or are you just mouthing words because Paul Ryan said he could afford to lose your vote in the end?

We anxiously await her detailed response, and if she includes copies of news reports about all the stuff she's doing to oppose the bill, even better. But of course, it won't happen because she's doing none of it. We cats HISS.

Change Of Pace

In an era debased by the coarseness of Donald Trump, it was refreshing last night to spend an hour and a half basking in the wisdom and elegance of a great humanitarian, Harry Belafonte. Daylight came and we did NOT wanna go home. We cats PURR.

Moore, Moore, Moore (How Do You Like It?)

By Sniffles

Twenty years ago this January, we cats were wringing our paws over the then-newly exploding Monica Lewinsky story. We remember learning that she was over 21 and feeling vastly relieved about that.

So maybe we should become Republicans, because clearly molesting children is not a problem for the GOP — at least in Alabama. In their frantic defense of Roy Moore, they're reaching for fanciful Biblical stories of super-old-fogey guys shacking up with young women to produce the two leading men of the Gospels, John the Baptist and J.C.

Are we detecting an insidious undercurrent of pedophilia in fundamentalist Christianity? We think we're kinda sophisticated, generally, so how is it we missed stuff like this?

Back here on Earth, where religion should have nothing to do with public policy and the only thing that matters is the rule of law, it's not surprising that these Neanderthal Republicans are excusing Moore's alleged behavior with an underage girl. They're already unfazed that he flouted orders to remove his silly Ten Commandments monument from Montgomery's judicial building and refused to obey the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. Why should they care about the rights of a vulnerable young teenager?

Some in the GOP, though, are putting their money where their mouths are. The National Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee just booted Moore's campaign from a joint fundraising agreement. Maybe the NRSC should consider Louis C.K. as a substitute candidate instead? After all, he's man enough to admit that the sex charges against him are true. We cats PURR.

Memo To Roy Moore: Hands Off The Kittens

By Baxter

We cats didn't expect to be writing about the Alabama Senate race again so soon, but we checked headlines on The Washington Post this afternoon, and — WHOOPS!

(At least Paul Ryan must be relieved that the spotlight is on Mitch McConnell's problems today. This icky Roy Moore story is sucking up all the uncomfortable questions Ryan might have gotten thanks to a new House Republican committee chair retirement.)

Meanwhile, it's pretty amazing how fast the establishment Republicans moved to get in front of this story. McConnell and the rest of them quickly said Moore should drop out if it's true that he made an under-the-age-of-consent 14-year-old touch his 32-year-old, erect Mr. Winky. It's a sure bet, though, that his diehard supporters are furious and defending him to the hilt. If we still visited our friends the Freepers, which we haven't done in awhile, maybe we could confirm that.

But absentee ballots have gone out — so the only two people who can boot Roy Moore from the race are Roy Moore and the Baby Jesus. And what if Moore stepped aside, remained on the ballot, and still won? Would he have to submit a formal resignation, followed by another corrupt gubernatorial appointment? We aren't familiar with Alabama election law, but Luther-Stranger things have happened.

So much winning! We cats PURR.