Pieface Gets A Pie In The Face

By Baxter

You didn't think we cats were going to allow the sacking of Rancid Pieface go unnoticed, did you? Fear not. It's hard to get our furry heads to stop spinning, what with all the tumult raging at the White House, but we do have a few thoughts.

First, that as much as loathe Rancid Pieface and as little concern as we feel for him, we still think the ignominious way he was given the heave-ho on Friday is deserved by very few. Abandoned on the tarmac at Andrews? Ouch.

On the other hand, from the pandering he's been doing ever since, Rancid must have spent those final minutes on Air Force One hammering out a heckuva separation agreement — with a huge non-disparagement clause attached. Could he slobber adoringly over Trump any more than he already has? Ick.

Next: If Rancid thought he'd hear a chorus of howls and protests from his friends — say, from the 168 members of the Republican National Committee, whom he led for years as Chairman, or from Paul Ryan or Scott Walker — well, let's just say the silence has been deafening.

Finally — and are we really saying this? — Jeb Bush was right. It's chaos. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: WHOOPS! Looks like the pie's in Scaramucci's face now. Escorted off the White House grounds? How humiliating (how delightful). After just 10 or 11 days, we cats think he should try reclaiming his time.

Crossing The Floor

By Sniffles

Are we cats pleased with the three Senate votes we witnessed at 2 AM today? As the Famous Quitter from Alaska would say, you betcha.

And speaking of the Famous Quitter, we wonder how she feels about the fact that the Trump mobsters threatened her state's two Senators on the skinny Obamacare repeal. Will anyone ask her? Not that she matters — but after her 2008 running mate's thumb's down last night, it's instructive to remember that it was he who elevated Sarah Palin to national prominence, and helped pave the way for the hideous monster who inhabits the Oval Office today.

But okay, feline hissy fit over.

We'd like to turn toward more constructive matters, and reiterate our invitation to Senators Murkowski and Collins to give up on their soulless shell of a party and join us Democrats. In fact, let's extend the invite to John McCain, too. Why the hell not?

Or, if that's too much, after all the verbal threats by guy Republicans, and the abuse of the process by the loathsome Mitch McConnell, and the impassioned pleas to return to regular order and forswear governing in the dark — would Murkowski, Collins and McCain consider staying with the GOP or going Independent, but caucusing with the Ds?

Watching the Senate video from early this morning, and listening anew to Chuck Schumer's emotional remarks after the vote, we think it's not impossible. In fact, Schumer — who could be way more wily than the oft-fawned-over amphibian from Kentucky — might be trying to make it happen right now. Such a deal could, for example, require Democrats to agree that Murkowski, Collins and McCain retain their committee chairmanships. But since we believe in government and the GOP extremists don't, we can see it happening.

Well, that's probably a pipe dream. But in the meantime, we cats have Chuck Cadman on our minds. Who's that, you ask? He was an Independent (formerly Conservative) Canadian Member of Parliament from British Columbia who, having just had chemotherapy for malignant melanoma, flew to Ottawa in May of 2005 to cast a deciding vote on the national budget. And in the process, he saved the teetering Liberal government of Paul Martin to fight another day.

Sadly, Cadman died a couple of months later. We don't know what's going to happen to John McCain, but we can tell you this: Somewhere today, Ted Kennedy is smiling. We cats PURR.

(P.S. It's worth noting that McCain was not the only cancer-stricken member in the upper chamber last night. Senator Mazie Horono (D-Hawaii), with Stage 4 kidney cancer, also voted a lifesaving no. We cats PURR again.)

UPDATE: POLITICO has caught up with us, which makes us grin.

An Open Letter to Senators Murkowski And Collins

Dear Female Republican Senators Who Have Opposed Trumpcare:

Are you tired of being threatened with physical violence by your male GOP colleagues? We don't blame you. We would be, too — faster than we could open a can of tuna if we had thumbs.

So we have a suggestion. Why not join us Democrats?

We're not claiming that our party is completely bereft of grownup men who behave like nine-year-olds. But we'd be really surprised if, say, our Texan Joaquin Castro called you out for a duel. Never in a million years would Barack Obama threaten to withhold federal funding from your states because you didn't vote his way. And while we're at it, let us just say here and now that we've never once heard Jimmy Carter use the allegedly Georgian phrase "snatch a knot in your ass."

(By the way, Senators, your party has been this way for awhile. Remember George H.W. Bush bragging about how he "kicked a little ass" in his 1984 debate with Geraldine Ferraro? Ugh.)

What, then, are you waiting for? We Democrats will welcome you with open arms. Because we believe in government, we're easy to work with. You'd have a swell bunch of Democratic women colleagues, like Amy Klobuchar and Tammy Duckworth and our own Kirsten Gillibrand. Heck, we even have Al Franken! You'd have a lot more fun over here with us.

Besides, it would make Mitch McConnell's life so, so miserable. That would make us PURR.

Sincerely,
The Democratic Cats

True North Envy

Owning property in Canada means that we can claim this guy as our Prime Minister, right? He sure makes us PURR.

Still With Her

A year ago, Democrats formally nominated Hillary Rodham Clinton for President. Thinking of you, Madam Secretary. Especially these days!

Yes, Senator Collins, We're All Worried

By Miss Kubelik

As if today's vote to open debate on repealing the Affordable Care Act doesn't make you sick enough, think about the debt ceiling.

Senators are. In fact, Republican Susan Collins of Maine (who had the balls to vote "no" today on healthcare) and Democrat Jack Reed of Rhode Island were caught sotto voce on a hot mic, discussing the looming threat of the federal budget fight and the utter fecklessness of the nutcases and ideologues now in charge.

"If we don’t get a budget deal, we’re going to be paralyzed," Reed says to Collins, who agrees. "DOD is going to be paralyzed, everybody is going to be paralyzed."

"I swear, the OMB just went through and whenever there was 'grant,' they just X it out," Collins says. "With no measurement, no thinking about it, no metrics, no nothing. It’s just incredibly irresponsible."

Says Reed: "I think he's crazy." Responds Collins, "I'm worried."

We all know who Reed and Collins are talking about, don't we? Especially after yesterday.

We've been worried since November 9, but even before today's events, the Trump speech to the Boy Scouts sent us over the edge. And for some reason we can't get a song out of our heads. It's called "Tomorrow Belongs To Me." We cats HISS and hide under the bed.

That Dorian Kushner Portrait Is Looking Gnarlier And Gnarlier...

That's what happens when you hang your brother-in-law out to dry. We cats PURR.

From The "Elections Have Consequences" Department...

By Zamboni

It's hard for us cats to read stories like the one about free medical care in southwest Virginia and not be furious.

Not because we don't believe people deserve healthcare. Au contraire: We believe that it's a human right, and the fact that the United States doesn't provide it — unlike every other leading democratic government in the world — is, in our view, a shame and a scandal.

But it's maddening to read about 2,000 people lining up for care at the Remote Area Medical Exposition in Appalachia when you know that if they voted last year, they all went for Trump.

Said a physician volunteering at the site: "The people of this area have been told by the politicians and President Trump that coal is coming back. They believe that. They’ve been told that Obamacare is no good. They believe that. They believe that Trump’s going to bring them Trumpcare."

Well, Trump very well might. The awful Senate healthcare bill, as we know from the headlines, is far from dead. Which means the Republicans may still be successful in decimating the one thing under Obamacare that could help the people of southwest Virginia, if the GOP-run legislature in Richmond would only allow it: an expansion of Medicaid.

All this drives us absolutely crazy.

Not every patient at the Exposition was buying the Trumpcare lies. As one belatedly told the visiting Democratic Governor Terry McAuliffe: "I really think the only thing that could help the country is single payer."

Sorry, guy — you're not going to get that with the crowd of traitors and haters that you sent to Washington. No, it's Democrats who agree with you on that, and you should have voted for us. So, too bad. And good luck trying to pick up your kids with a nerve-damaged shoulder, inject yourself with a broken insulin pen, and eat with no teeth.

(PHOTO: Mike Belleme for The New York Times)

Chinless Ed Gillespie, In Norfolk, Still Manages to Miss The Boat

 

By Baxter

After we all dutifully take note that today Donald Drumpf was present at the commissioning of a battleship named after the President who pardoned Richard Nixon, let us then take a moment to laugh at Chinless Ed Gillespie.

Gee, Chinless Ed must be really worried that he's going to lose the Virginia Governor's race to Ralph Northam if he bragged in a speech in Norfolk about his ability to "work with" that disastrous Drumpf crowd in Washington. If he's doing that, he clearly feels a pressing need to pander to the GOP's knuckle-dragging base.

Problem is, that's not going to get him any support in vote-rich Northern Virginia, where nervous Republicans like Barbara Comstock are already eyeing dicey Congressional races next year.

But the thing that really makes us break into Cheshire cat grins is Chinless Ed's dumb timing.

The nation's governors, sensing that Washington is off the rails, have already started doing end runs around the Trumpsters and are making stuff happen without them. Creating the United States Climate Alliance and their National Governors Association retreat in Rhode Island this month are just two of the most prominent examples. (Who was that speaking to the govs in Providence? Why, it was Canadian PM Justin Trudeau and the Mayor of Mexico City! Who needs Trump?)

But there goes Chinless Ed, following what he must think is the lesser-evil path in his Republican-imposed Hobson's Choice. Good luck with that, fella. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Terry, meet Justin.)

...Or THIS

via GIPHY

Oh, How Sad, That We're Not Going To Have Any More Of THIS...

Melissa/Sean, we hardly knew ye. We cats PURR.

Photo Du Jour

By Sniffles

What can we cats say about Donald Drumpf's deranged New York Times interview that hasn't already been said? Let's focus on something positive instead — like this very creative man, who kinda looks like the way people envision Jesus (although we're not sure about the watch).

Let him serve as a reminder that the real Jesus said nothing, absolutely nothing, about homosexuality keeping anybody out of the Pearly Gates. We cats PURR.

Digs

By Miss Kubelik

This isn't a very dramatic photo, but we cats took it this afternoon after we were startled to see that an archeological dig had been revealed just a few blocks from our Montreal condo. Voilà — amid the ever-present John Deere equipment that dominates a city under constant construction, here are the apparent foundations of the Parliament building that was burned by rioters in 1849.

Prior to this excavation, the dig had been covered by a parking lot. (Not unlike the remains of Richard III, we couldn't help thinking.) Now, who knows what's going to happen to the site — which happens to sit on some very prime real estate in tourist-rich Old Montreal.

It was an interesting reality check in a time when we feel that in the US, all our values and principles are being regularly besieged by the Trumpsters and their colluding, complicit Republicans. In other words: Things might seem really explosive in the short term, but they tend to resolve themselves over the long term. And then later, they get dug up by geeky guys with archeological and history degrees — while the modern world bustles heedlessly around them.

Does it mean that Donald Trump and his merry band of traitors will someday be covered in asphalt, their deeds forgotten? We cats can only hope, and we PURR.

Taking Shots

By Zamboni

Our own US Senator aside, we cats are not really used to hearing the F-word in daily political discourse. So when we saw reports that a GOP committeewoman from Nevada had retweeted a message urging John McCain to "just effing die already" — adding, "Amen" — we were a little shocked.

Until we saw that she was a fervent Trump supporter. Then we thought, of course! How lovely these Trump people are.

You know, if there were ever a Republican heresy that Hillary Clinton needed to comment on, this would be it.

She and McCain have worked together. Traveled together. Heck, they've even done shots together. (Yes, it was vodka, and yes, she beat him.) Hillary should publicly embrace McCain now, not just because it would be the humane thing to do but because it would make his life with the GOP crazies even more difficult.

Meanwhile, we're sure that this vile woman from Nevada is poised to run against Dean Heller if he helps kill Trumpcare. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Crimes And Collusion

By Baxter

This is not an entertainment blog, but we cats are inspired by the passing of Martin Landau to opine on the Woody Allen film "Crimes and Misdemeanors."

For some reason, around 1989 Woody Allen decided to make a movie that explored the consequences of human choices, and whether one is punished or rewarded by a higher power for them. Say what you want about Allen and his personal life — as a filmmaker he is among the giants, and "Crimes and Misdemeanors" is, we think, his masterpiece.

The movie's most compelling characterization? Alan Alda's repulsive TV producer, who is a despicable, self-aggrandizing human being, but who nonetheless gets the girl and wins in the end. Which leads Allen's character to try to rationalize fairness and equality with Landau's character, who has neatly gotten away with the murder of his mistress.

Twenty-eight years later, we can only think that Alda's character is Donald Trump — behaving badly and yet rewarded with the highest office in the land. And we cats are Woody Allen, bereft and trying to figure out, in a happenstance conversation with Trump's collaborators, how the country has come to this sorry point.

Is there a hopeful outcome to all this? Allen wondered that in "Crimes and Misdemeanors," and we cats wonder it now. We don't know the answer yet, but we're pretty fearful. So we probably HISS. And worry.

Terrific Tweets

By Sniffles

Make no mistake, we cats avoid flying these days whenever we can. The experience is generally so negative, so Greyhound-bus-in-the-sky, that we're sure that we're better off driving. And the recent spate of airline abuses of passengers has just reconfirmed our view.

But now, we're rooting for the airline. Specifically, Delta Airlines, which has been on the receiving end of a barrage of tweets from a disgruntled customer, hideous right-wing scumbucket Ann Coulter.

Coulter was upset at a seat reassignment, so she tweeted photos of her fellow passengers (who didn't give permission, mind you) and ranted about her relocation in the unhinged manner which we've come to expect from her. Delta Airlines, meanwhile, responded on Twitter thusly:

"We're sorry you did not receive the preferred seat you paid for and will refund your $30."

"Additionally, your insults about our other customers and employees are unacceptable and unnecessary."

YAY, Delta! Who in your corporate communications department decided it would be okay if you guys said that? We'd like to shake their hands and give them a Daniel Webster cigar. We cats PURR.

Household Name

By Miss Kubelik

So if the True North was riven by its Prime Minister forgetting to mention Alberta among the provinces in a Canada Day speech two weeks ago, apparently all is forgotten now.

Because Justin Trudeau just went to the Calgary Stampede and met this baby. The kid's name? Justin-Trudeau Adam Bilal. He is the son of Syrian refugees who were welcomed to Canada last year. The parents named their son, born in Canada in May, after the Prime Minister — because it is Arabic tradition to name a child after an individual who possesses good character.

Which means that we're not going to see a lot of babies named "Donald Trump" — for multiple, obvious reasons. We cats PURR.

Thank You, Canada, For Taking Such Good Care Of Jimmy Carter

By Zamboni

There's been a lot of talk lately about how the Republicans are going to repeal and replace Obamacare. Meanwhile, a former President they don't much care about was hospitalized after succumbing to dehydration on a Habitat for Humanity building site in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Turns out that Jimmy Carter is okay and back at work. So we guess the Canadian universal healthcare system is working pretty well. It must be, because as Prime Minister Trudeau tweeted: "I spoke with Jimmy Carter today to see how he’s doing. Glad you're OK, Mr. President, and thanks for choosing Canada for 2017’s #HabitatCWP."

We cats are glad that our adopted country came through with such flying colors here. We feel particularly protective about Jimmy Carter — not just because we were part of his Administration, but because we recognize that his approach to life, and his service to our fellow human beings, is an example to us all.

It's an approach that, we're sad to say, may be becoming obsolete in the age of Trump. Meanwhile, we cats thank Canada for taking care of our 39th President, and we PURR.

Statuesque

By Baxter

We cats think that yesterday's appearance by Bill Clinton and The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived at the Bush Presidential Library was interesting on a lot of levels.

First, there's this hilarious photo of Bill with these stupid Bush sculptures. (Gosh — now we know there's something worse than the Reagan statue at Washington's National Airport, right?) Bill Clinton may be good buds with the Bushes now, but as this puckish pose implies, there's always a lot more to 42 than appears on the surface.

And then there's that question-and-answer session that everyone is clucking about. Yes, 42 and 43 appeared to diss 45, without ever mentioning his name. It kind of makes us wonder if, compelling as that former Presidents' club is, Donald Trump will ever be welcome in it when his time comes. We'll see.

But let's go back to that Q&A. The Worst Person, whose manufactured war in Iraq killed nearly 5,000 Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, complimented his predecessor for "being gracious in victory," and urged all Presidents to act accordingly.

There is no doubt to that statement, even when it comes from somebody we think of as a war criminal: Bill Clinton was, indeed, humble in victory. But what did his graciousness get him from the GOP? Years of harassment, investigations and, ultimately, impeachment for something that did not remotely rise to the level of a high crime or misdemeanor — all from Republicans who, by Clinton's own admission, couldn't handle the fact that he'd won the 1992 election.

What we're saying is that long before the atrocity that is Trump, the Republican Party was dealing in intransigence, demonization, distortion, bigotry, vilification, racism, self-entitlement, obstructionism and lies. If you don't believe us, ask conservative Republican pundit Jennifer Rubin.

So forgive us cats if we find The Worst Person's statement about Bill Clinton's graciousness a little hollow. His party has behaved abominably these last 25-plus years — so badly, in fact, that in 2016 they nominated, and elected (with Russian help), somebody who has probably knocked the previous Worst Person Who's Ever Lived off his perch for all eternity. We cats HISS.

Drips And Drops

By Sniffles

Shiny Trey Gowdy was very unhappy the other day. He said he wanted the Trump-Russia revelations to stop.

"From the time you saw 'Dr. Zhivago' until the moment you drank vodka with a guy named Boris, you list every single one of those and we're going to turn them over to the Special Counsel, because this drip, drip, drip is undermining the credibility of this Administration," he whined.

Well! We're wondering how Shiny Trey is feeling now. Because he's gotten his wish: The drip, drip, drip has stopped. On the other hand, it's more of a gushing fire hose — or maybe even Niagara Falls. But definitely not a drip, drip, drip. We cats PURR.

A Corner On Mendacity

By Miss Kubelik

One of our favorite bloggers has pointed out that while the current crowd in the White House does indeed lie its butt off, lying is nothing new for Republicans. Democrats, on the other hand, "rarely have been the originators of a big lie in the last 50 years."

We cats gave some thought to that in between naps. We could only come up with one really big Democratic lie, and it pretty much started with the Gulf of Tonkin. And of course the lie that was Vietnam became a Republican one, too. Remember Richard Nixon saying he had a secret plan to win the war? He ended up expanding it.

In the end, we decided that Democratic lies just don't hold a candle to GOP ones. Here is a list of some of their whoppers. Read 'em and weep.

Tax cuts for the wealthy create jobs.

Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.

Presidents can't nominate Supreme Court justices in their final year in office.

Read my lips: No new taxes.

Obamacare is failing. We have a plan to replace it.

If you make it, demand will follow.

If the President does it, it's not illegal.

If you want to avoid an Administration dogged by never-ending scandals and investigations, vote for Trump.

Mercredi Soir Pick-Me-Up

By Zamboni

Wow! Need some feel-good news? Okay — do you know what the Governor General of Canada does?

Easy-peasy. The Governor General is the Queen's official representative to the former dominion known as the True North. He or she presides over a bunch of stuff, like swearing-in of the Prime Minister and the Cabinet, bill signings and what-not. Sure, it's ceremonial, but since in the bad old days it was always a white guy from Britain, Canada today is uniquely able to make an interesting statement with whomever the Prime Minister selects.

And it looks like tomorrow, Justin Trudeau will announce that the former astronaut Julie Payette will succeed the Canadian white guy Stephen Harper put in as G-G seven years ago.

Gosh, Julie Payette sure seems qualified. She speaks six languages. She's an electrical and computer engineer who served on the space shuttle Discovery in 1999 and docked with the International Space Station. And since she's from Montreal, you won't be surprised to learn that she took a signed Maurice Richard hockey sweater into space (he was "The Rocket," you know).

So — a strong, accomplished Canadian woman stepping into a position of prominence (and some power)? We'll take it, even though our favorite strong, accomplished American woman was cheated out of her own position of prominence (and great power) last year. Felicitations, Governor General Julie. We cats PURR.

Emails!

By Baxter

Back when we cats were kittens, there was a powerful anti-smoking ad on TV that showed a montage of happy people merrily puffing away. The voice-over said, "You lose one minute of life for every minute you smoke. So why are these people laughing?"

We thought about that when we saw some of the talking heads on TV today, chuckling over the Donald Trump, Jr. emails and all they portend. Sure, we appreciate the irony of the chinless Junior being sunk by an email. But WTF is so funny?

An election is stolen by a gang of Russia-sympathizing American mobsters colluding with a hostile foreign power — for which there is no clear Constitutional remedy — and we're chuckling? (Yes, you, Eugene Robinson. Stop trying to look over your shoulder like there's somebody else there.)

When we talk about remedies, we don't mean impeachment. That would just land us with Pence, who is awful, awful, and whose hands aren't clean, either. The only impeachment solution would be to win the House and Senate next year and then go after both Trump and Pence and have a Democratic Speaker succeed them instead of the loathsome Paul Ryan. But can the country wait that long? With the damage that the Trumps are doing, maybe not. What we really need to do is un-inaugurate this crowd of gangsters and quislings and swear Hillary in tomorrow. (After all, she won the popular vote.)

Can't find that anywhere in the Constitution, though. In the meantime, it's well past time for Republicans to speak up — particularly Republican Senators, whose oath of office obligates them to defend America from "all enemies, foreign and domestic." We cats despise their cowardice, and we HISS.

Waiting For The Wave?

By Sniffles

In the "We'll Take It" category, Roll Call has changed its ranking of a deeply downstate House district in Illinois from Solid Republican to Likely Republican.

Yes, the GOP incumbent there has had brushes with political death before, and he's survived. But he's only got a few bucks in the bank right now, and a good Democratic challenger has just stepped up to the plate. This news comes on the heels of a breaking story from New Mexico: The only Republican House member in that state's delegation is giving up his seat to run for Governor.

So... Paul Ryan is being hit with retirements while eager Democrats file to run in suddenly-swing CDs across the country. Not bad! Especially when these Republicans' current President is so great, and such a winner. We cats PURR.

All Seven People At This Klan Rally Were Talking About Why John Podesta Refused To Give The DNC Server To The FBI And The CIA

Last one, we promise. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Everyone At The Needle-Exchange Program In Calhoun County, West Virginia Is Talking About Why John Podesta Refused To Give The DNC Server To The FBI And The CIA

Everyone At Wimbledon Is Talking About Why John Podesta Refused To Give The DNC Server To The FBI And The CIA

Everyone At The Unemployment Office Is Talking About Why John Podesta Refused To Give The DNC Server To The FBI And The CIA

Everyone At The Homeless Shelter Is Talking About Why John Podesta Refused To Give The DNC Server To The FBI And The CIA

Out Of Range

By Miss Kubelik

We cats were running a harmless errand the other day when we saw a man get into a parked car in our neighborhood. He was carrying — and stowing in the car — a rifle.

Alas, he was not Daniel Day-Lewis. But suffice to say we hurried home and away from him as soon as we could.

Upon reaching safety, as dutiful citizens we researched gun laws in New York. It appears that rifles like the one the man we saw bearing do not require special permits in the Empire State. We cats suspect that New York City is enough of a handful that Albany doesn't try to stir the hornet's nest of firearms owners up here in the near-Adirondacks.

Still and all, we couldn't help thinking that the rifle-bearing man we saw, being white, was someone who had no fear of the police. Because Philando Castile was a licensed gun owner, wasn't he? And yet the NRA remains silent on his murder. We cats HISS.

Alone Again, Naturally

Gee, nobody wants to sit with our guy at the G20. You know, if Hillary had been President and attended this, she would have been simply swarmed by admirers and well-wishers. Just sayin'.

Congratulations, Malala!

By Zamboni

Need a pick-me-up in a dispiriting world? Malala Yousafzai graduated from high school today! Did you think she'd already done that? After all, she's a Nobel laureate. But no, Malala still needed to complete her high school studies after recovering from being shot by the Taliban.

So, in a nutshell: A strong, determined young woman has delivered the ultimate "up yours" to a bunch of clueless male assholes who were trying to kill her for the heinous crime of being female while pursuing an education. We cats love this, and we PURR.

Reflections

By Sniffles

There are days when we cats believe that the country will get through this awful nightmare it's living.

And then there are days when we don't — when all we can think about is how the Republicans are destroying policies and programs that benefit the American people. And how will we Democrats get back into power to fix things, when we're facing the unholy collusion of Trump, the GOP and Russia to hack and suppress our votes?

So imagine our surprise to find our favorite Democrat sounding quite bullish yesterday. (Or should we say leonine?) Howard Dean says that we'll take the House back next year for sure, and — if the Republicans repeal Obamacare — the Senate, too.

"This is going to kick seniors out of nursing homes in West Virginia and North Dakota, places like that. Everybody is going to know somebody who gets screwed. And when an aunt is told she has to leave the nursing home, suddenly things are going to look different. It's about them personally, or their neighbor's kid who gets kicked off Medicaid. This stuff is toxic. You might as well cut everyone's wages 50 percent."

Bold words that happen to be true. But there are a lot of "ifs" tied up in this take-back-the-Congress scenario, so we can sense the collective eyeroll in Pundit World. Still, we cats don't think there's any harm in putting a marker out there. Too often, we Democrats are timid while the Republicans evince brash, appealing confidence. A positive vibe goes a long way in attracting money, media attention, volunteers — and sometimes, eventually, votes.

Besides, Howard always lifts our spirits and, like the good doctor he is, makes us feel better. So we give him a hearty ankle rub, and we PURR.

UPDATE: More ankle rubs and biscuit-making in the lap of Governor Dean. The nonpartisan Cook Political Report has just moved 10 House districts in the Democrats' favor. That's 40 percent of the seats we need to take back control in 2018. And it makes us PURR.

How Do You Say "Oh, Sigh" In French?

While the United States is hurtling back to the 1950s on reproductive rights, the province of Quebec has announced that it will offer women RU-486 before the year is out — for free.

If this makes you as frustrated as it does us, you can take some action here. Meanwhile, we cats HISS.

The Madness Of King Donald

By Baxter

From the Hilarious & Sad Department, this breaking news: NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and Trump supporters think the network is insulting their hero and calling for insurrection.

These Trumpsters, of course, are all super-patriots. You betcha.

Here's the part of the Declaration that appeared to bug them most: “A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

Hmm! If the powdered wig fits, wear it. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Note To Nikki Haley: Shut Up And Do Your Job

By Miss Kubelik

Poor, poor Nikki Haley! We cats are wringing our paws for her in the wake of her awful, awful Independence Day. "Spending my 4th in meetings all day," she whine-tweeted, adding the hashtag "#ThanksNorthKorea."

Excuse us, but what a bitch.

Can you imagine how the Republicans would have reacted if Samantha Power or Bill Richardson had whimpered like that? Ya know, it's not like we Democrats (and three million more voters than Donald Trump got) wanted this crowd running the government. If they don't like having to deal with potential international crises on a national holiday, they can quit.

And how hilarious it would be if all our fellow citizens who worked on July 4 felt equally sorry for themselves. Here are a few imaginary tweets — your submissions also accepted!

Surgeon: "Spent my Fourth in the OR all day. Thanks, stupid kid who needed a transplant."

Firefighter: "Spent my Fourth keeping homes from burning down all day. Thanks, idiot drunken Americans with fireworks."

Volunteer: "Spent my Fourth serving meals at a women's shelter. Thanks, asshole Republicans who weaken domestic violence laws."

Immigrant: "Spent my Fourth cooking hot dogs and hamburgers for 'real' Americans at the ballpark. Thanks for NOTHING, Nikki Haley and GOP." We cats HISS.

On The Beach

No doubt about it: The thousands of New Jersey residents who had to cram themselves onto the municipal Garden State beaches that were open this weekend must have been screaming "Damn you all to hell!" Did the Christie family hear them? Probably not. We cats HISS.

Senior Moment

By Zamboni

Oh, to have the problems that Canadians have. Fainting couches are being employed across the country since Justin Trudeau gave a Canada Day speech yesterday and forgot Alberta when he listed the provinces and territories. (Kind of like leaving out Texas. Who could blame him?)

Meanwhile, the orange buffoon in the White House is simulating physical violence against the press, which everyone seems to be forgetting has already been committed — for real — in Montana, by (of course) a Republican, against a reporter from The Guardian. Still, the tweet is a new low, one that — in the words of our latest favorite ranter, Ana Navarro — could conceivably get a journalist killed.

So we'll trade places with Canada and a Prime Minister with a memory lapse any time. Because we know that no matter how bad Donald Trump is today, next week he'll have done something worse. We cats hack up a hairball, and we HISS.

Noticed From The True North

How ironic: While Canada today is celebrating its diversity and strong democratic values, a little Nazi from a failed US state is running around America trying to round up the personal information on every voter in the country. (Thankfully, lots of secretaries of state are pushing back.) Whew — the air sure is fresher up here. We cats PURR.