Monday, October 5, 2015

Divided, Not United?

By Baxter

We cats have been screaming so long about how Stephen Harper and his "Progressive Conservatives" are the Canadian version of George W. Bush/Dick Cheney/Karl Rove/Ari Fleischer that we're sure you faithful readers are tired of it. But the Tories keep proving our point!

Not only is Harper singling out niqab-wearing immigrant women as a yooooooooge issue in this month's federal election — now he's oh-so-conveniently revoked the citizenship of a Jordanian who was long ago hauled off to the hoosegow for a 2006 terrorist plot.

That is, Harper has taken away the guy's Canadian half, because Hoosegow Harry held dual citizenship — as so many immigrants in Canada do. This has all happened thanks to a repulsive new law known as C-24, which targets dual citizens who do nasty things, and which the Tory government conveniently pushed through (and exercised) in this highly charged political year.

Gosh! Raising the specter of terrorism to win an election? Who would do that?!?

Thankfully, the media and Harper's electoral opponents have cried foul on all this. Dual-citizenship holders say they feel like second-class Canadians. Pundits point out that citizenship is a right, not a privilege. And the most memorable sound bite so far is Justin Trudeau's. The Supreme Court may decide if the Charter of Rights and Freedoms cancels out any divisive law that Stephen Harper wants to exploit for his political gain.

But will Canadians let him? We cats have bad memories of Americans succumbing to fearmongering like this. We hope that they'll see through Harper's attempts to divide and conquer, and toss him and the Tories out on their butts in two weeks. That would make us PURR.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Now It's REALLY Time For Harper To Go

By Sniffles

Stephen Harper thinks he's going to ride to re-election in Canada on the "issue" of the niqab.

Yep, somehow — despite the country's current recession and all the other struggles that Canadian families are having every day — whether or not a woman wears or doffs her religious veil during a new-citizen swearing-in ceremony has allegedly lifted the Tories in recent polls.

We cats would like to point out how disgusting this is. First, new Canadian citizens are required by law to confirm their identities prior to any public ceremonies. Second, as we've argued before, open, pluralistic democracies should be able to tolerate silly dress. (Just look at the Tea Party.) Third,  this is a dog whistle engineered by a right wing desperate to turn the conversation away from the issues that really matter. So we hope that Canadians will not succumb.

How, though? In a parliamentary system with at least three major political parties, how can the True North keep Stevie from squeaking through? Answer: Only if those who oppose him refuse to stay in their ideological corners and cast their votes on October 19 as anti-Harper rather than pro-anybody-else.

To that end, we respectfully propose adding a new verse to Tony Turner's big election hit, "Harperman." We hope that since our favorite mild-mannered Environment Canada scientist has decided to retire from the civil service rather than suffer the government's drawn-out "investigation" into his political activity, he'll have the chance to endorse our lyrics. Thanks for your consideration, Tony! We cats PURR.

How can we get ride of Steve?
Harperman, Harperman
What can we do to make him leave?
Harperman, Harperman
Cast our votes strategically
Liberal or NDP
Harperman, it's time for you to go!

Friday, October 2, 2015

Campaign Surveillance: No Joyride

By Miss Kubelik

There's a lot of delicious political news to chew on this morning, but one of our favorites is this: A video tracker from Jeb! Bush's ridiculously named Super PAC, "Right to Rise," got kicked out of a Rubio event in Iowa last night.

They're spying on Baby Marco! We thought Republican trackers were just supposed to shadow Democrats. (And vice versa.) But in the unruly mob that passes for the GOP these days, anything goes.

We cats just have three questions.

Jeb! yammers constantly about campaigning with "joy" in his heart. How does video tracking a fellow Republican (and alleged protege) qualify as "joy"?

Jeb! also says that he's willing "to lose the primary to win the general election." How is video tracking Baby Marco all about losing the primary?

Finally, will any member of the lamebrain pundit class ask these questions of the man they're so reluctant to declassify as the "front runner"? We cats HISS.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Is Frankie FUBAR?

By Zamboni

Is there any bigger political goof than Kevin "The Boob" McCarthy's unforced error about Benghazi the other night? Well, the alleged meeting between Pope Frankie and Kentucky's most famous homophobic county clerk might qualify.

We totally don't know, of course, but we like to think that this is driving Frankie crazy.

Think about it: His trip to America came off impeccably. He and his little Fiat charmed the nation (well, except for Hispanic-hating teabags who think he's a socialist), and we all just melted whenever he got within two feet of a special-needs kid or disabled person. (We cats admit we found that touching, too.) He made all the right moves: Lunching with the homeless, doing a better mea culpa with priest-abuse victims, and most important, soft-pedaling abortion and gay marriage in favor of immigration, income inequality and climate change. This must have totally frustrated wild-eyed religious nut cases like Fat Mike Huckabee. Fun!

So what happens? No sooner does he get back home than the Kim Davis news hits, and the world throws up on it.

Frankie is such a canny politician that this seems seriously out of step. And the details are murky. Who proposed the meeting and when? Why was it Davis's weirdly named attorney who broke the story, and not the Vatican? Why is the Vatican being so cagey about confirming or denying? It's like a terrorist attack that no one's claiming credit for.

So, we're fascinated. After all, did we ever doubt that Pope Francis is against gay people getting hitched? Of course he is, and he can go jump in the lake about that. But we don't really care — not just because marriage equality in America is a done deal, but because if Frankie can shame the world into tackling global warming, at least we know there'll be a lake left to jump into. So we cats turn the other cheek, HISSing and PURRing at the same time.

UPDATE: Maybe Frankie isn't FUBAR yet. He's just distanced himself from the Kim confab, which we cats think is more delicious than a plateful of fresh mice. Look for right-wing balloons to be deflated, and somebody in the Vatican to get quietly reassigned. Time to PURR.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Kevin Lets The Cat Out Of The Bag

Boy, if this guy is going to be the next Speaker of the House, he sure is a boob. An inadvertently helpful boob, but still a boob. And — "untrustable"? What an interesting (non-)word. We cats PURR and HISS at the same time.

Popes Meet With All Sorts Of Horrible People

By Baxter

Kim Davis's "lawyer," a Bible-thumping geek named "Mat" Staver, says that Kim and her "Hee-Haw" refugee husband secretly met with Pope Francis in Washington. Is it true? The Vatican isn't saying, which is interesting. But if they did fly out to see Frankie, we hope that Joe Davis dressed better than this.

We've also noticed that Staver is claiming the Frankie-Kimmie encounter occurred on the first leg of the Pope's trip. That, too, is interesting, since for the rest of his visit Francis was not exactly holding back on subjects like climate change, immigration and the death penalty. Yet, despite an alleged hush-hush confab with Davis, his remarks about marriage and the family remained much more nuanced. Chalk one more up for Frankie as canny politician. (And the Freepers must be furious.)

Well, we're sure "The Vat Pack" is hard on the heels of this story. Until we hear more, we'll have no further comment beyond bending a few lyrics from an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical about another famous Argentine: "Things aren't all that bad, she met with the Pope / She got a papal decoration and a kindly word / We wouldn't say that Frank gave Kim Davis the bird / But the Rowan County-Vatican axis hasn't much hope." We cats PURR.

UPDATE: A Vatican spokesman has caved and confirmed the Frankie-Fatso meeting, saying cryptically, "I do not deny that the meeting took place, but I have no comments to add." That falls somewhere between a weak-smile endorsement and a brush-off. Hm!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Pink Day

By Sniffles

Okay, now that we've taken Cecile Richards to task for not having all her facts at her fingertips this morning, we'd like to remind everyone of two things: 1) The Republicans are horrible, and 2) today is Planned Parenthood's National Pink Out Day.

Are we frustrated that anti-choice knaves and fools pulled the wool over Planned Parenthood's eyes? Yes. Is it infuriating that this latest O'Keefian caper has given women-haters on the right fact-bending frothing points? Absolutely. (We're looking at you, Carly Fiorina.) Is it maddening that the villains who oppose women's reproductive rights are almost always men? You bet. So here's a handy way to deal with all that: Give money to Planned Parenthood.

Oh, and write your Congressman. Unless, of course, you enjoy the spectacle of the GOP committing political suicide over an organization that 69 percent of Americans support. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Try to get pinker than this!)