Sunday, May 24, 2015

A Quickie: Play It In Montreal, Sam

By Miss Kubelik

As long as we're on the subject of progress on the LGBT front, let's take a quick note of the fact that the CFL's Montreal Alouettes have signed openly gay player Michael Sam to a two-year contract.

We cats are excited about this, and not only because we might see Michael around town someday. We also couldn't help noticing that the CFL commissioner immediately issued this special statement:

"Congratulations to the Montreal Alouettes on the signing of Michael Sam. Our players come to us from different places, different walks of life and ultimately they take different paths to get to our fields. Today is another indication of how open and progressive the CFL is — consistent with our rich and storied history of great football tradition."

Okay, so NFL commissioner Roger Goodell also issued a welcome statement back when Sam was drafted by St. Louis. But it took him three days to do it — on his spokesman's Twitter account. How lame. So we cats PURR at the Montreal Alouettes. But as always when it comes to American football, we HISS at the same time.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Not-So-Quiet Revolution

By Zamboni

Today, just as we cats entered Canada — a country that's allowed its citizens to marry whom they love for 10 years — we learned about the Reaganesque landslide vote for marriage equality in Ireland.

Goodness gracious, but the 2016 Republican wannabes and their nutty fundamentalist Christian base must be beside themselves about this. A Roman Catholic country has told the Vatican to stick it in their ear! That's more delicious than a fried mouse topped with fresh solid tuna.

The Freepers and teabaggers and the CPACkers — the kind of folks who voted for Ben Carson in the Southern Republican Leadership Conference straw poll this afternoon — must feel like the world is turning against their values in a big, big way. And if liberalism and tolerance are taking over, where can they flee? Since they think America has already been ruined by socialism, and since Belize can be kinda dicey as far as one's personal security goes, the only escape hatch we can think of is Uganda. Surely the gay haters in Kampala will welcome them with open arms.

Meanwhile, the Irish vote is just another reminder of how out of step America's right-wing Republicans are with the rest of humanity. Jeez, when you think about it, it's amazing how much the GOP base has in common with Islamic extremists: Both groups are anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-anybody who doesn't adhere to their fundamentalist doctrines, and (side note) both believe that the US should commit itself to an endless ground war in the Middle East. How will the likes of Carson, Fat Mike Huckabee, Rick "Santorum" and Ted Cruz explain that? We cats PURR.

P.S.: We assume that the Supreme Court is paying attention to the Irish results as well. Of course, we cats suspect that Justice Kennedy is already going to vote on the right side of history next month. But it's tantalizing to wonder if a guy like John Roberts, who clearly cares about the legacy of His Court, has taken note. We cats PURR again.

(PHOTO: Clodagh Kilcoyne, Getty Images)

Friday, May 22, 2015

Maybe God's On Our Side, Not Theirs

By Sniffles

What is it with these so-called Christians-slash-conservatives and their sex problems? As in adultery, rape, molestation, harassment, texting/sexting and visits to prostitutes? Their membership is legion — David Vitter, Bill O'Reilly, John Ensign, Mark Sanford, Strom Thurmond, John Diehl in Missouri, that guy in Vermont... for a longer list (and if you have a strong stomach), click here.

Now, naturally, Democrats have been guilty of some of this stuff, too. But we are not the party of the righteous wingnuts, trying to tell everyone else how to live. On the Republican side, however, the latest case in point is "Josh Duggar," who has been forced to resign from his position at the Family Research Council because it's been revealed that as an underage teen, he molested other underage teens.

Since we're political beings, we were trying to figure out why this "Duggar" jackass thought he could take a prominent position with the Family Research Council — not that we care about the effect on the Family Research Council, but you get what we mean — knowing that this outrage was lurking in his past. And how many Republican candidates have had their pictures taken with him? The mind boggles. We just didn't get why "Josh" didn't realize he was putting his party and his employer in peril.

A friend suggested this: "Because Jesus has forgiven him!"

Well — fine. That still doesn't explain the political arrogance — or naivete.

But then it dawned on us: Maybe Jesus hasn't forgiven him. Not at all. Which is why all this is coming out in the first place. God works in mysterious ways! We cats PURR.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Unsocial Media

By Baxter

We cats aren't saying we're never going to tweet (although we know for sure that we're never going to be on that Mark Zuckerberg invention). But sometimes stuff happens that reminds us how happy we are to be free of the tyranny of Twitter, the folly of Facebook, the inanity of Instagram and the pathetic triviality of Pinterest.

Item 1: President Obama jumps aboard the Twitter bandwagon, and before you know it, @POTUS gets slammed with racist, hateful and threatening posts. Are we surprised? Ugh. And do we think that the President writes his own tweets, checks out his followers, and thus sees pictures of himself with a noose around his neck? Heck, no — he's busier than even we are. But since we can't be bothered with Twitter, we don't have to look at them, either, thank goodness.

(P.S.: We hope that the Secret Service is investigating all those people who tweeted threats, by the way.)

Item 2: We cats were diligently working away on our computer today when we heard a little ding! to announce a new email popping into our in-box. Imagine our surprise when we saw that it came from our Republican Congressman, Rob Wittman (we prefer to call him "Twitman"), to whom we have never given a dime and for whom we would never in a million years vote. So that was startling enough. But on top of that, Twitman was writing to say he wanted to "connect" with us on the Face Thing.

We weren't exactly looking for another reason to shun Facebook, but we're pleased to add Rob Twitman to the list. We cats HISS.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The End Of Mardi Gras As We Know It

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have never visited Louisiana. Guess that's not going to change any time soon.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

"Likes" A Prayer

By Zamboni

We cats don't do Facebook. We have enough on our plates as it is, thank you. But we're amused to see that all-around evangelical jackass Franklin Graham is posting desperate prayers on Facebook for the Supreme Court.

Frankie wants God to open the eyes and hearts and minds of all the justices who he fears are going to decide next month that gay people should be able to get married. If they would just recognize "the truth of Scripture"! We're sure that's going over well with the Supremes who are, um, not Christian.

But wait, there's more: Surely none of the 60,000 Facebookers who "liked" the SCOTUS prayers know that 40 years ago, Franklin's father, that noted anti-Semite Billy Graham, was caught saying some not very nice stuff about Jewish people on the Watergate tapes. Even Elena Kagan is old enough to remember that.

So we think that Franklin Graham is pretty much wasting his time with his desperate Facebook appeals. Because if Ruth Bader Ginsburg was indeed throwing hints around this weekend, maybe some of the Catholic justices are past his prayers, too. We cats PURR.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Don't Just Follow, Baby — Follow Up


By Sniffles

Two quick questions for journalists tonight:

1). Will anybody from The Hill circle back to Jason Chaffetz and ask him how he feels about Baby Marco Rubio's take on foreign policy now?

Here's Chaffetz on Saturday: "Anybody's who running for President better darn well understand foreign policy. Marco Rubio showed he was fairly deft in his ability to smoothly answer those questions."

Here's Baby Marco on Sunday: "I still say [the Iraq war] was not a mistake because the President was presented with intelligence that said Iraq had WMD... I don't understand the question you're asking."

2). And will anybody touch base with Kenny Boy Mehlman — openly gay Republican and one of the architects of the homophobic George W. Bush 2004 campaign — and ask him how much money he's bundled for "Jeb!" for 2016, and if he's going to ask for any of it back?

The reason we're asking is that "Jeb!" — no doubt feeling the heat from his recent gaffes and carping from conservatives about maybe skipping Iowa — threw the gay haters a bone yesterday by telling the Christian Broadcasting Network that he didn't support Constitutional protections for marriage equality. "We need to be stalwart supporters of traditional marriage," he bleated.

What a big win for Mehlman (not). But will anyone bother to ask him how he feels about it? Nah. In the lightning-fast world that journalism inhabits these days, reporters suffer from a serious case of Institutional Memory Disorder. Which makes us cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Journalist Cat)