Losing The "Man's Best Friend" Vote

 

There used to be a time when politicians loved their dogs. Just sayin'.

Postively Hitlerian

By Sniffles

Our feed on Twitter has been consumed with dog content, we're sorry to report. Not because we hate dogs (although we cats are vastly superior to them), but because any story about an animal mistreated or murdered chills us to our feline bones.

Enter this very strange story about South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem bragging about killing one of her dogs, execution style, because it was "untrainable." After the dirty deed, Noem's daughter asked, "Mom, where's Cricket?" "Cricket is dead," Noem allegedly replied. And the interwebs went wild.

It got to the point where we were desperately searching for Trump trial news, but couldn't find anything amid the anti-Noem outrage by dog lovers like ex-Republicans George Conway and Rick Wilson. (Even Trumpsters like Laura Loomer took offense.) People were posting photos of their beloved canines to drive home the point that Noem is a soulless monster. But that's okay. Because she is.

Also, if you're looking for more Nazi parallels for today's Republican Party, Noem just provided one. In 1945, Adolf Hitler killed his German shepherd Blondi, to test the cyanide he had in case the Red Army closed in on him. It worked. Happily, though, Hitler shot himself in the mouth the next day. We cats PURR.

Good Move

 

By Hubie and Bertie

It may be Moose & Squirrel's 54th birthday, but we Democrats are the ones who got the best present. One day after a POLITICO story broke about the pooh-bahs at The New York Times printing anti-Biden stories out of spite, the President gave an hourlong interview to radio host and erstwhile shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM.

This is Dark Brandon at his finest.

Not only did Biden chat up Howard about a range of topics — his life in politics, his family, SCOTUS, the Violence Against Women Act, and more — he ended up making news by saying he'd be willing to debate Benedict Donald in the general election. This is hilarious, because of course Trump has avoided all Republican debates this season, and most likely will be incapacitated enough mentally and cognitively that he'll have to duck any head-to-heads this fall. But Stern getting the scoop still has to rankle at the Times.

It could not happen to a nicer newspaper. We cats have been torn about keeping our (very expensive) print and digital subscription to the Grey Lady, but have dithered on it because so much of their reporting — arts, books, science, New York-y stuff — is enriching and valuable. But their political coverage is frankly terrible. In the old-media days, they just had to one-up The Washington Post, but now they're up against a proliferation of journalists at online vehicles like The Daily Beast who often put them to shame. Or who at least act more honorably and less thin-skinned than the sniffy people at 620 Eighth Avenue.

Side note: President Biden was in New York because he attended a fundraiser headlined by the actor Michael Douglas last night. Meanwhile, Trump was in criminal court, whining that he couldn't be with his cheated-on wife for her birthday (who could have easily joined him in Manhattan for his court appearance and natal-day celebration), unable to campaign, dial for dollars, or do anything else to promote his alleged candidacy. A really good day for Biden-Harris, we'd say. We cats PURR.

It's Take Your Child To Work Day

One thing people don't talk about enough is that Donald Trump has no sense of humor. Dark Brandon, on the other hand... We cats PURR.

Unlike Donald, Numbers Don't Lie

By Miss Kubelik

Another week, another Presidential primary. Yesterday, it was in Pennsylvania, and Benedict Donald continued to underperform. At this point, though, perhaps you'd just want to say the Republican results showed the latest example of a full-blown anti-Trump protest vote.

Yes, Trump won the primary and all of the commonwealth's 16 delegates to the convention. But Nikki Haley, who dropped out of the race more than a month ago, pulled in 157,388 votes* — nearly 17 percent. This was in a closed primary, with no Democratic voters making mischief, so you have to believe something's going on here.

Voting against Benedict Donald has been pretty consistent in GOP-only primaries and caucuses this year, in fact. It was 15 percent against him in Idaho, 18 percent in Oklahoma, almost 20 percent in Tennessee, and a whopping 44 percent in Utah (before Haley withdrew her candidacy). After that, she still pulled 19 percent in Florida, about 25 percent in Connecticut, 22 percent in New York, and now this.

The numbers from Pennsylvania were especially striking because Republicans voted for Haley not just in the Philadelphia suburbs, but also in Cumberland County outside Harrisburg, and the counties of Lancaster, Erie and Berks, all of which are traditionally swingy.

Which means that even with getting 83 percent of the overall vote, Benedict Donald has a real base problem. Political journalism in the US is pretty awful, so don't expect to see a lot of reporters chasing this story. They need their likes and clicks, so they'll always try to prop up Trump as a powerful, competitive candidate. The reality is that he's got a splintered and angry GOP, very little money, deteriorating cognition, and four criminal trials, one of which is underway and already doing damage. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

*Fun fact: Joe Biden won Pennsylvania in the 2020 general election by about 80,000 votes. We cats PURR.

Trump 2024: "Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Years Ago?" (Answer: Yep.)

Happy "Study the Injection of Bleach" anniversary to all who celebrate! Yes, it was at a White House presser four years ago today that Benedict Donald asked the hapless Deborah Birx (aka Scarf Lady, whom we absolutely do not miss) about, um, experiments with light and disinfectants. On the bright side, it resulted in this wonderful parody by comedian Sarah Cooper. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

MAGA No-Shows

By Zamboni

The world is still waiting to find out the real reason why Benedict Donald canceled this weekend's North Carolina rally at the last minute. The claim was that they couldn't land in bad weather — but the nearby airport was not shut down, and the storms didn't roll in until hours later. Was he upset that only about 400 MAGAts had turned out for the show?

That seems plausible, because he's reportedly also unhappy that throngs of Trumpy true believers haven't shown up at the Manhattan courthouse to protest his current criminal trial, either. As The New York Times reports in a very fun article today:

"Over the last week, demonstrators visibly identifying as supporting Mr. Trump — with red hats or clothing, or banners and flags — have never totaled more than a dozen. On most days, the number of people total in the portion of the part designated for protesters for or against Trump has never been more than two or three dozen. They have included tourists, locals coming to gawk, more than a few supporters of Mr. Biden, and proponents of conspiracy theories — including Max Azzarello, the man who...self-immolated on Friday."

It sounds to us that in a nearly full-employment economy, everyone must be too busy working to spend days wearing goofy outfits and waving Trump flags outside court. Or maybe the bloom is off the Donald rose? We cats are wondering when the media are going to really start paying attention to how small a slice of the American pie Trumpism represents. In the meantime, we PURR.

Oh, Say Can You See AOC

By Baxter

Well, of course Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is taking more votes from Benedict Donald than from President Biden. We cats always suspected that, because RFK Jr. is a nutcase. Nuts gravitate to nuts.

But sometimes we get stuff wrong. And we're big enough to admit it.

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was first elected to Congress in 2018, we thought to ourselves, oh, God — she's going to be a pain in the ass. We could not have been more off-base. She's shown herself to be a team player, an excellent questioner in committee, and someone who is uninterested in cutting off her nose to spite her face. Her vote right out of the gate for Nancy Pelosi for Speaker was the first sign, and she's delivered consistently ever since.

She's been vocal in her support of Biden-Harris 2024, and in the House, she votes outside the mainstream only when she knows there's a cushion to do it. So she's not only been an "A" student in the School of Pelosi, she's obviously shining in the School of Hakeem Jeffries as well. In short, she's a grownup who understands the institutional and political boundaries in which she works.

The result is a day like today, when Biden met with AOC, Senator Bernie Sanders and Senator Ed Markey in the Oval Office after an Earth Day event in Virginia — to discuss Gaza, the disaster known as Benjamin Netanyahu, and the anti-Semitism that's boiling up on college campuses. "I learned a long time ago to listen to that lady," Biden said about AOC. A tremendous compliment.

You won't see members like Rashida Tlaib chatting up POTUS in the Oval, and that's okay. Because AOC is an important ambassador to the lefties. Funny, we cats have always thought of ourselves as left, too. The difference between us and the folks we call liberal losers is that we're willing to get 80 percent of what we want instead of insisting on all or nothing. That's an important talent to have in a pluralistic democracy. We cats PURR.

Yeah, We Know This Is A Breach Of House Decorum, And We Don't Care

Is waving little Ukrainian flags worse than showing Hunter Biden dick pics in a committee hearing? Is it worse than bringing a gun onto the House floor? Asking Mike Johnson, because he's ostensibly in charge of these lunatics. We cats PURR.

Stefanik's Shame

By Sniffles

Of all the House Republican leaders, only Elise "Elsie" Stefanik voted against aid to Ukraine today.

Think about that: Mike Johnson, Steve Scalise and Tom Emmer, miscreants all, voted to do the right thing by one of America's most important allies — but Elsie couldn't bring herself to do it. She voted for Israel and Taiwan, but is so fixated on being picked as Benedict Donald's running mate, she was a big "no" for Ukraine and a big "yes" for Vladimir Putin. Disgraceful, particularly since we don't believe for a second that Trump will select her (she's not "his type").

So, our only questions tonight are these: Where are the Bush II folks who served in the White House with Elsie? She was on staff for Smirky's Domestic Policy Council, and later served in the office of Josh Bolten, White House Chief of Staff. Do they have nothing to say about Elsie becoming one of Vlad's best buds? And what about former Bush II Secretary of State and so-called Soviet expert Condoleezza Rice? How does she feel about her erstwhile Bushie colleague?

Their silence is as despicable as Stefanik's votes. We cats HISS.