Saturday, May 28, 2016

Obama Shines, Palin Bombs

By Miss Kubelik

As the nation gears up to observe another Memorial Day, let us consider the fact that as President Obama visited Hiroshima yesterday, reflected on the nature of war and urged the world to strive to avoid it, an aide carrying the "nuclear football" stood nearby — as always.

(The famous quitter from Alaska, of course, vomited a word salad all over attendees at a California Trump rally, accusing Obama of apologizing for dropping the bomb. As all of us know, this is completely untrue, but that kind of thing never matters in Palin-Trump World.)

Anyway, chalk up another profound and mesmerizing speech by Barack Obama. And as the putative Republican nominee continues to foozle the simple mechanics of a Presidential campaign, think about that nuclear football being a few steps away from Donald Drumpf. We cats HISS.

IMAGE: The President hugs Shigeaki Mori, an atomic survivor who has made it his life's work to memorialize the American POWs held in Hiroshima and killed in the nuclear blast on August 6, 1945.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

No Brainer

By Zamboni

Unless Paul Ryan is a total fool — which he may very well be — there's not a single reason for him to endorse Donald Trump.

In fact, we cats recommend that Ryan hand over his Republican National Convention gavel and disassociate himself from the entire operation, ASAP. If he values his future, not to mention his party's, he should tell fellow Wisconsinite Rancid Pieface: Sorry, dude — can't do it.

After all, what possible benefit could he get from jumping on the Trump bandwagon, when he could distinguish himself from the lemmings who are rushing to endorse a disaster? (See "You mean Pocahontas?" if you have any doubt that electing Trump would be like giving a 13-year-old boy the nuclear codes. Or check out Trump's gratuitous attack on the chair of the Republican Governors Association, Susana Martinez.)

By refusing to endorse, Ryan would not just refrain from selling out his principles (such as they are) — he could be honest and say, "You know what? Trump is going to lose us the Senate, and I'm not going to do anything to endanger the House. Because the House will be the last line of defense against President Hillary Clinton."

And with Mitch McConnell relegated back to Minority Leader, Ryan will become the most powerful Republican in Washington — and sitting pretty for 2020.

Yes, we know that breaking from the deluded GOP in 2016 will be painful. But in the long run, we just don't see any downside for Paul Ryan. If he reads this blog, he'll get some good advice. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Presidents, Senators And Veeps Edition

By Sniffles

After a welcome break for red panda, we cats are ready to check out the political news again. Here are a few stories that have caught our eye.

Whoops! It looks like Susana Martinez is off the Drumpf VP short list. Which probably doesn't break her heart since there were riots at Drumpf's appearance in Albuquerque yesterday. Pretty soon Trump will start talking about how fat Susana is, don'tcha think?

We are not unqualified fans of Debbie Wasserman Schultz, but all this talk about her stepping down as DNC chair before the convention is stupid. She is not a divisive figure because Bernie Sanders says she is. You wanna talk about divisive figures? Let's discuss Sanders naming Obama hater Cornel West to the Democratic platform committee. Now, that's divisive.

Meanwhile, it looks like Democrats will have another advantage over Republicans besides demographics this fall: two popular ex-Presidents, Bill and Barack, out on the campaign trail for Hillary-Whomever. And who has the GOP got? Well, there's The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived, who could rally a crowd of about 12 people. And his father, who doesn't get out much these days. And then there's the sainted Ronald Reagan — who's been dead for 12 years. Hm!

Finally, speaking of surrogates, we just love what Elizabeth Warren is doing. "Can Donald Trump even name three things that Dodd-Frank does? Seriously, someone should ask him," she said. Is Trump sexist, a reporter queried? "That’s like asking if he has bad hair," Warren replied. Trump, she added, is "a small, insecure man."

Her Trump-needling is just great. But should Elizabeth Warren be Hillary's running mate? Nope. A, we want her right where she is, firing away. B, Massachusetts has a Republican governor. Sorry, we can't lose the Senate seat. Other than that, we cats PURR.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

The Art Of The No Deal

By Baxter

It turns out that Donald Drumpf, who once bragged that he raised $6 million from his supporters for veterans on the night that he boycotted a FOX "News" Republican debate, apparently has — not.

The figure is $1.5 million less.

Gee, how come? Campaign manager (and renowned thug) Corey Lewandowski said it was because guys who pledged didn't come through. "There were some individuals who he’d spoken to, who were going to write large checks, [who] for whatever reason . . . didn’t do it. I can’t tell you who."

Hmmm! If Donald Drumpf can't get his own friends to make good on their pledges for veterans, how is he going to make Mexico pay for his border wall? How is he going to call up Ford and Carrier and Apple, and tell them to stop outsourcing and repatriate manufacturing?  How is he going to enforce any commitments from countries to conduct fair trade? How is he going to get Vladimir Putin to honor any agreements he makes?

The list goes on and on. We cats HISS.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Of Men And Mice

By Miss Kubelik

It's been observed that Donald Drumpf is a big baby. The whining, the complaining, the yapping. The constant protesting that he's not being treated fairly. The prissy vindictiveness. Dare we say it — the pussy-ness? Yes, we can say that, actually — because we are cats.

And now add Bernie Sanders to that list. Bernie, who's endorsed Debbie Wasserman Schultz's primary opponent and declared, pissily, that once he's in the White House, Debbie loses her job as DNC chair. You know what? The DNC will get a new boss whatever happens in November. And oh, by the way, Bernie's not gonna be President. Not even close.

So none of this matters, except for the fact that Sanders has decided to embarrass himself with a hissy fit. Geez, ever since that Nevada dust-up, Bernie hasn't been looking too good. Time to get off the stage, we think.

Meanwhile, as Drumpf and Sanders prove themselves to be lesser men, the President of the United States continues to quietly knock off America haters abroad. Hello, US drone — goodbye, Taliban pooh-bah Akhtar Mohammad Monsour.

It's amazing to us that Barack Obama, the POTUS who the right wing claims has made the US so weak, keeps killing terrorists without blinking an eye. So who's the real man here, and who are the whiny bitches? We cats think we know. And we PURR.

Friday, May 20, 2016

GOP Philosophy: Let The Kids Be Born So They Can Star In Sex Tapes

By Zamboni

What an interesting day in Donald Drumpf World. We cats just saw a clip of his Hillary-wants-your-guns speech and were struck not just by the ridiculous content but also by how awful he is when he reads. More, please!

Which reminds us of two of today's Drumpf-related stories.

Mary Fallin has vetoed an unconstitutional anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma. Our first thought was, uh-oh — that'll drop her off the Drumpf running mate list! (Donald needs someone to buttress his nonexistent anti-choice cred.) But then it dawned on us: Maybe Mary Fallin doesn't want Donald to consider her. Seeing one ticket as a sure career killer, perhaps rejecting SB1552 was her other ticket — out.

Meanwhile, hot on the heels of having to boot a white supremacist from its California delegation, the Trump campaign is dealing with another delegate gone bad. Weapons charges! Child porn. Goodness gracious, what could be worse? (Well, okay, Dennis Hastert. But we digress.)

What caught our attention, though, was the official statement from the Drumpf campaign: "We strongly condemn these allegations, and leave it in the capable hands of law enforcement." Denounce the allegations, but not the person or the kiddie porn itself? What strange priorities they have. Is Trump, too, a connoisseur of child pornography? Let the rumor be spread. We cats HISS.