Friday, December 15, 2017

Good Riddance

By Zamboni

It's pretty Scrooge-y to be hardhearted during the holidays, but we cats are feeling no sympathy over the lamebrain Republican state rep who committed suicide in Kentucky the other day.

Sound harsh? You bet. But it's hard to muster anything but contempt for a guy who threatened to kill Muslims in his front yard (how Christian of him) and who circulated pictures on social media that depicted Barack and Michelle Obama as apes. Oh, and then there's the little matter of the 17-year-old girl he molested in a church back in 2013. As far as we're concerned, now that this guy is gone a lot of underage vaginas are blessedly safe from his wandering fingers.

All righty then, we've gotten that off our furry chests. Nothing left to do but share this idiot's rambling, he-doth-protest-too-much Face Thing suicide note and acknowledge that at the very least, he was deeply disturbed. Of course, we knew that the moment he posted racist pictures of the Obamas. But it's taken killing himself to make the rest of the world see it. Don't rest in peace, Dan Johnson. We cats HISS.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

P.S., USA Today: Trump Isn't Fit To Clean Joe Biden's Toilets, Either

One day after USA Today published this brutal editorial about Donald Trump — and after Trump's bigoted, pedophile US Senate candidate lost in Alabama — Joe Biden showed up on "The View" to remind us all what we used to have.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Happy First Night Of Hanukkah, Kayla Moore

By Sniffles

Many, many things about Roy Moore have offended us cats over the years. His flouting of the rule of law, which got him tossed off the bench not once but twice. His hatred of anybody who is not white, straight and male. His fake, fake, FAKE Christianity.

But nothing offended us more than Kayla Moore's "one of our lawyers is a Jew" speech last night. We just couldn't believe it — were we really hearing that in America in 2017? Then we realized that it was just more of what we saw in Charlottesville in August. Somebody might just as well have shoved a tiki torch in Kayla's hand and given her a Polo shirt and a pair of khaki slacks (size 18, no doubt).

So as close as it is, tonight's apparent win in Alabama by Doug Jones is sweet beyond words. Sore loser Mitch McConnell may not allow Jones to get sworn in in time to vote against the tax bill, but at least the anti-Semites got their just deserts. We cats PURR.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Double Digits? "We Poll, You Decide"

By Baxter

There are two ways to look at the FOX poll that shows Democratic Senate candidate Doug Jones 10 points ahead of Republican child molester Roy Moore in Alabama.

1. Maybe it's legitimate, with the pollsters doing their best to predict turnout — and, in an un-FOX-like desire for respectability, they reported the results as accurately and fairly as possible.

2. Maybe it's all about Trump. Saddling Moore with a 10-point deficit means that, should Moore lose by less than that, FOX will have let Trump claim that he brought Moore to a close, but not-quite-victorious finish. Remember, this is what Trump claimed about Luther Strange's showing after the primary.

Or, should Moore win, Trump can claim that he, and he alone, dragged a horribly damaged guy over the finish line.

We have to say that a version of #2 was the one that immediately popped into our furry minds. FOX's track record doesn't exactly inspire us to give them the benefit of the doubt. We cats HISS.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

A Tale Of Two Campaigns

By Miss Kubelik

The shocking results of Election Day 2016 taught us cats not to draw too many inferences from the states of opposing campaigns. Who would have thought that the bumbling, stumbling Trumpsters and their fractious and fractured GOP would emerge victorious last November? (Well, Vlad Putin had something to do with it, didn't he?)

Nevertheless, if you look at the two operations down in Alabama this weekend, they're pretty intriguing. Democratic Senate candidate Doug Jones has been barnstorming the state, including hitting a passel of black churches today with Senator Cory Booker. Republican Roy Moore, he of the dead eyes and the wandering hands, has disappeared.

Moore hasn't been seen on the campaign trail since last Tuesday — which is extraordinary for a major-party candidate in the final stretch to Election Day. He didn't even attend church this morning! (Oh, and Moore people? If you convene a meeting with the press to discuss sexual misconduct allegations and then don't take any questions from reporters, you can't call it a press conference. Just sayin'.)

So what we have in Moore is not just a pedophile with contempt for the rule of law, but a coward. Roy Moore is paralyzed with fear — fear of the national media swarming Alabama, fear of a confrontation with an accuser, and fear of angry protesters — the typically craven behavior of someone who'd force himself on underage girls. We cats HISS.

(PHOTO: Cory and Doug, on the trail. GOTV, guys!)

Friday, December 8, 2017

"Traditional Values" Get Interesting

By Zamboni

We cats just knew that when the news broke that fetus-face Trent Franks — one of the GOP's most rabid anti-abortion crusaders — pleaded with his female staff members to have his surrogate baby, he was not talking about in vitro fertilization.

So we waited: Time will tell, we thought. And then, indeed, it did.

Franks abruptly resigned today. Not later, as he'd previously said — but today. And then in a few hours it emerged that he'd been importuning women on his staff to have his baby the "regular way." He'd even offered one of them $5 million for the privilege.

We just want to point out that Mr.-Must-Oppose-Abortion-At-Any-Cost pleading with staff members to bear his child isn't just creepy. It's about men who view women as nothing more than vessels — baby machines — and not as people. It's about allegedly Christian men viewing women as reproductive factories controlled by them.

Reminder: Women will never be equal until they have the methods and the means to control their reproductive destiny. Sadly, this appears to be a struggle that we are, still, far from winning. In fact, we're probably taking a few steps back every time we take a step forward. Weary from battles we fought that we thought were already won, we cats HISS.

Run Everywhere.

By Sniffles

Looking for some holiday cheer? Here's a story that made us smile: A gay man who was denied a marriage license by Rowan, Kentucky, County Clerk Kim Davis has just filed to run against her in the next election.

Here he is, in fact — filling out the necessary paperwork, while Miss Glum looks on.

We cats love this. Not just because karma's a bitch, and not just because the idea of maybe beating this hater is too delicious to contemplate. We love it because it's so important for liberals, Democrats — and everyone who's appalled and alarmed by the Trumpsters and the Republicans — to run in every race we can. At all levels — local, state and federal.

We saw this happen in Virginia, where great candidates sprang up for local races and, in many cases, turned the racists and the haters out. That's a real inspiration. But even if we don't win, we've damn well fielded somebody. After all, you never know when lightning will strike.

Meanwhile, if you want to support David Ermold and his campaign to oust the ever-loathsome Kim Davis, click here. We cats PURR.