Wednesday, March 22, 2017

What We'd Like To Do, But Can't.


By Baxter

We cats were going to comment on the absurdity of you-know-who's lawyers targeting a 17-year-old computer programmer for her animated kitten-punching-and-scratching-Donald-Trump website. But we'll let her reaction to Trump's threat speak for itself:

"I was going to just let this go," young Lucy from San Francisco said. "But I think it’s, pardon my French, fucking outrageous that the President of the United States has his team scouring the Internet for sites like mine to send out cease-and-desist [letters] and legal action claims if we don’t shut down."

We cats tried to get to so we could enjoy a little punching and scratching for ourselves — but alas, we couldn't connect. We demand an FBI investigation! In the meantime, we HISS.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Wag The Cat

By Miss Kubelik

We cats were just thinking last night: With James Comey laying a criminal investigation at the feet of the villains and mountebanks who currently inhabit the White House, it surely won't be long until the Trumpsters gin up some foreign crisis to fend off their critics and make the nation rally 'round.

Now, this: DHS has announced it is banning passengers from carrying some electronic devices on flights from the Middle East. Terrorism, you see. (Of course, it's a sure bet that Republicans who will gravely support this latest Trump administration move today are the same Republicans who screamed "Monica!" after our African embassies were bombed, and Bill Clinton ordered cruise missile strikes in response.)

In our view, this DHS order is just the first step in the new anti-Comey War of Distraction. The only thing that worries us more is that some adversary like North Korea will take advantage of the chaos and do something for real.

As a good friend has said, we've run out of slurs — the English language is too small to encompass the awfulness of the Trumpster mob, and the abyss into which the United States is descending. We cats HISS.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Where's Willard?

By Zamboni

Remember back in 2012, when Willard Mitt Romney called Russia our nation's "number-one geopolitical foe," and everybody laughed at him? Goodness gracious — even our own Democratic President ridiculed the idea.

So after James Comey's testimony to the House Intelligence Committee today, why isn't Willard taking a victory lap?

Gosh! The director of the FBI has just confirmed that the bureau is actively investigating whether the Trump campaign's colluded with Russia to undermine our democracy. This sounds like treason. Yet the only thing that the Republicans have ever cared about is Hillary Clinton's emails. (Oh, and Benghazi — about which she testified to Congress for 11 hours and those GOP jackasses still couldn't lay a glove on her.)

If there's possible treason here at the behest of the dictatorship that Willard called our greatest foe, why isn't he calling a press conference to say "told ya so"? We cats can only come up with one answer, and it's not pretty: Willard is silent because the fraudulent President at the center of this nightmare is a Republican.

Drumpf is also someone who insulted Romney left and right during the campaign — and then humiliated him with that fake, oh-maybe-I'll-put-you-in-my-Cabinet meeting in November. But affronts to Mitt's manhood apparently pale in comparison with his loyalty to the GOP.

If anybody out there can think of another reason, we're all ears. But we won't hold our breath. It seems clear that Willard Mitt Romney is what we always thought he was: a phony, whiny, party-before-country, cowardly wanker. We cats HISS.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

We Are Not Amused.

By Sniffles

Under this nightmarish new administration of misanthropists, knaves and fools, the United States is becoming a very unattractive place.

We cats are already heebie-jeebied about the toppled headstones in Jewish cemeteries, the bomb threats phoned into Jewish community centers, the Indian-Americans mistaken for Muslims and shot, the citizens frisked by US Customs at the Canadian border, and the swastikas, swastikas everywhere.

Now we have a waiter in California telling a table full of Latinas that he needed to see ID before he could serve them. He wanted to make sure they were legal residents, don'tcha know.

The haters are feeling quite bold in the age of Trump, aren't they? But this last one really puzzles us. Does that guy — whoever he is, and he'd better pray his name isn't already on the Internet — not understand tourism? So what if his customers weren't citizens? They were — but they could have been vacationers from abroad, injecting valuable tourist dollars into the American economy.

We can't decide what offends us most: the Trumpsters' hate, or their stupidity. Some days we think it just might be the latter. We cats HISS.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Something To Look Forward To

She's coming back. Let's hope she torches Trump and the Republicans for everything (too many outrages to list here) — but especially for the decimation of the State Department under Secretary Exxon Cipher.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Hmmmmm... How Did They Do It?

By Baxter

Pundit Dana Milbank, whom we cats like much better in print than when he was snarking with Keith Olbermann on cable TV, has reminded us that one of Donald Drumpf's favorite themes on the campaign trail last year was this: "We are led by very, very stupid people."

Yep, we sure are — now.

But what the heck! Let's take Drumpf's argument — that he is the smartest person in the world and that the previous administration, full of government-loving slobs as it was, could not possibly match his superior, private-sector, art-of-the-deal intellect — and ask a question.

How could the dumbest people in the world manage to successfully surveil the world's most brilliant businessman — who, by the way, was also protected (he said) by the greatest security team in history?

We have no idea how Moe, Larry and Curly could have outsmarted that pack of veritable Einsteins over at Trump Tower. Perhaps someone will explain? In the meantime, we cats HISS.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

About That "Fine-Tuned Machine"...

By Miss Kubelik

Aside from all the other disturbing aspects of Michael "Benedict Arnold" Flynn taking rubles from the Russians last year...

The other YUGE issue — at least for us cats, because we believe in government — is how this White House could have appointed a national security adviser who was openly on Putin's payroll? Did they know about it and not care? Or was their "extreme vetting" (assuming that they hold their own people to the standards to which they hold immigrants) extremely superficial?

If they didn't know, how could they appoint a guy who was such an unethical cretin that he would hide that information? What do they find appealing about a person like that?

Did he disclose the payments on the paperwork he filled out for the transition? Was there any paperwork for appointees to fill out?

Whatever the answers, this isn't just gross incompetence. It's as treasonous as treason. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Move over, Ben. You're about to be dislodged from your perch.)