Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Best Wishes To Our Newest Nonagenarian

"The simple things — our own happiness, peace, joy, satisfaction, and the exploration of love in all its forms — are the key to the virtues of life, at any age. You are old when regrets take the place of dreams."

—Jimmy Carter, The Virtues of Aging

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Alternate Universe

By Zamboni

From what we can tell, Secret Service pooh-bah Julia Pierson didn't change many hearts and minds at today's House Oversight Committee hearing. We cats are upset about that, because the idea that Barack Obama might not be fully protected kind of freaks us out.

But we still can't help speculating on one thing: The right's reaction if the Secret Service had employed less "restraint" against Executive Mansion intruder Omar Gonzalez than they did.

If the agents had acted like, say, a Ferguson, Missouri, police officer, teabaggers would have instantly screamed that the Muslim anti-colonial Kenyan dictator in the White House had told them to abuse-maim-kill-whatever a valiant, PTSD-riddled Iraq war vet. Impeach!

(You know they would have. We cats HISS.)

P.S.: We cats can't figure out why the House Oversight Committee can hold a hearing today, but Boehner can't call back the House itself to vote on the air war against ISIL. Anybody know?

Something To Ask Your Soon-To-Be-Republican-Senator

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have never been sure that Pundit World ever had a good read on the 2014 midterms — mostly because the elections are, let's face it, unreadable.

We've gone from an Obamacare-inspired Republican "wave" (remember that?) to "Obamacare doesn't matter" to foreign policy butting in to Democrats springing back to Republicans rising again. And who knows how many more permutations we'll see between now and Election Day?

But just for the sake of it, let's consider for a moment that Democratic seats like Tom Harkin's and Mark Udall's go Republican, and Mitch McConnell becomes Majority Leader of the Senate. Aside from Joe Biden suddenly needing to worry about the state of White House security, what could that mean for the country?

One word keeps popping into our heads: Personhood.

That's because Republican candidates everywhere are engaged in a series of desperate and specious "moves to the middle." Knowing that they can't get elected if they say that fetuses have more rights than born, grown women, they are soft-pedaling, parsing or camouflaging their views — or, in "Transvaginal Barb" Comstock's case, running away from the media to avoid talking about them altogether.

So here's the question for, say, GOP candidate Joni Ernst and GOP candidate Cory Gardner. Voters in Iowa and Colorado need to ask it — on the record, on the radio, on camera — today, and every day, between now and November 4.

"Will you pledge now that — when you arrive in the Senate as a member of the newly elected Republican majority — you will buck your leadership and refuse to vote 'yes' on a personhood amendment?"

And if they won't answer, ask again. If they still won't answer — ask why not. And keep asking. We cats PURR.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Member Of The Wedding

By Baxter

Calling David Brock! It might be time to start a "Media Matters" site north of the border.

Here's why: Until the other day, we cats were blissfully unaware of the existence of a buffoon named Ezra Levant, who works for the Sun News Network in Canada. Sun is a fellow traveler of FOX "News" here in the US, but clearly is jealous that its reach in the True North nowhere near matches that of Roger Ailes. So it employs morons like Levant, whose job is to say provocative things and grab some headlines.

Last week, for example, he accused Liberal leader Justin Trudeau of barging into a wedding photo uninvited. Then, bizarrely, Levant proceeded to spend the rest of his on-air time bashing Pierre Trudeau's sex life. Yep, that Pierre Trudeau — whose Prime Ministership most Canadians today don't personally remember, and who's been dead for 14 years. Hm.

(Meanwhile, in case you're worried, the bridal party smacked Levant down, big time — making it very clear that they invited Justin, who was attending a Liberal party meeting in the same hotel, to get in on the photographic fun. Sheesh.)

Whatever side of the 49th parallel they're on, right-wing nutjobs just can't resist the personal attack, can they? We all know, of course, that it means they got nuthin'. But we cats still HISS.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Strange Values

"I can tell you if it were not for my father giving his life to Christ, I would have been raised by a single mother."

Were we the only ones who noticed? "Ted" Cruz has insulted Bristol Palin. We cats PURR.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Well, Of Course.

"Prime Minister David Cameron of Britain was overheard during a visit to New York this week telling the former mayor, Michael R. Bloomberg, that Queen Elizabeth II 'purred' when he called to inform her that Scottish voters had rejected independence in a referendum.

"'Look, I'm very embarrassed by this,' Mr. Cameron told reporters... 'It was a private conversation, but clearly a private conversation that I shouldn't have had and won't have again.'"
—The New York Times

Transvaginal Barb's Great Escape

By Miss Kubelik

One of the plaintive wails we cats see most often on right-wing sites like Free Republic is "Whatever happened to free speech?" They scream it every time they think that that those horrible liberals are squelching their right to be racist, sexist, homophobic — whatever.

So it's always surprising when a member of the teabag tribe allows her own speech to be muzzled. Like "Transvaginal Barb" Comstock after this week's debate with her Virginia Congressional opponent, Democrat John Foust. This chirpy blonde Comstock aide with the bow in her hair (hmm, not a good look, we think) clearly does not believe her candidate deserves to speak her mind.

Because you know what might happen? The voters of the 10th District might find out the truth about Transvaginal Barb's odious anti-choice record. Horrors! (Meanwhile, John Foust stayed and answered reporters' questions. Guess he doesn't have anything to hide.)

For this and many other reasons, we cats HISS at Transvaginal Barb and dump our dirty litter boxes over her head.