Saturday, February 25, 2017

Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Samantha Bee

By Zamboni

So Donald Drumpf has decided he hasn't got the moxie to sit at the head table and be skewered by a comedian at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and has tweeted his withdrawal. Oh, goodness.

We cats are at multiple minds about this.

On the one paw, as anyone reading this blog well knows, we loathe and despise the White House Correspondents' Dinner. What used to be an admirable effort to raise money to train young journalists has turned into an unprinicipled red-carpet fuckfest. (Excuse our language.) Ever since the late Michael Kelly invited Oliver North's paper-shredder Fawn Hall to attend the WHDC in the late '80s, the event has become an unamusing inside joke — with some occasional amazing moments (case in point: Stephen Colbert's 2006 roast of The Previous Worst Person Who's Ever Lived).

Now, though, the event has outlived its usefulness. And since The New Worst Person Who's Ever Lived has declared he will be a no-show, we are left with the following options:

1. Hold the event with some mediocre comedian and without the leader of the free world in the room.

2. Cancel the event.

3. Combine the event with Samantha Bee's "Not the White House Correspondents' Dinner" and make it a YUUUGE anti-Drumpf roast. Invite all the people who have been marching against the Drumpfsters to speak. (Why not? Drumpf has declared the media to be "the enemy of the American people." What have you got to lose?)

We cats vote for this: That the WHCD should be canceled, and for Samantha Bee's event to go forward.

Why? Because the WHCD organizers, in the wake of media outlets being shut out of Sean Spicer's press gaggle the other day, should have rescinded their invitation to Drumpf forthwith. Since they didn't, they look weak and inconsequential. So they should cancel themselves.

Onward and upward, Samantha Bee! We cats PURR.

Gagged At The Gaggle

By Sniffles

Actually, our headline is slightly off. CNN, The New York Times, POLITICO and other news outlets were not even at the gaggle. Melissa McCarthy — oops, Sean Spicer — slammed the door in their faces.

For those needing a quick refresher on Beltway lingo, a "gaggle" is an off-camera but very definitely on-the-record briefing that people like the White House press secretary hold with the press. Spicer welcomed the right-wing media along with more traditional (read: credible) news organizations — but Time and the Associated Press, to their credit, took a pass in protest.

We cats say, good.

What the Drumpfsters don't seem to understand is that by doing crap like this they are cutting off the very attention they crave. Good journalists will still report the news, but can we all agree that it's not a bad thing to deny these monsters a platform for their lies?

Ron Ziegler and the Nixon crowd are starting to look good by comparison. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Quoth McRaven, Nevermore

"We must challenge this statement and this sentiment that the news media is the enemy of the American people. This sentiment may be the greatest threat to democracy in my lifetime."

—Retired US Admiral and Joint Special Operations Command, 2011, 
William H. McRaven, on Trump's statement that 
the media are "the enemy of the American people"

Cat Fight! Gabby Giffords vs. Louie Gohmert (Spoiler Alert: No Contest)

By Baxter

How amused are we at the Republicans' reaction to a dose of their own 2009 medicine? Pretty darn much.

It turns out — no surprise — that the GOP and the teabaggers can dish it out, but they sure can't take it. After spending the summer eight years ago screaming about "death panels" and "Keep your government hands off my Medicare" (WTF?), they are shocked, shocked to discover that their constituents actually care about their ACA coverage being taken away — particularly after three million more people voted last November to keep it rather than toss it.

But the cake-taker in all of this is, of course, the pre-eminent jackass Congressman from Texas, Louie Gohmert, who is beside himself that he and other US House and Senate members might have to answer to their constituents about this issue. Louie is so upset, in fact, that he topped the GOP's lame talking point about paid activists and went straight to the "OMG, my life is in danger" argument. But he didn't stop there.

"The House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance that civilian attendees at Congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killed—just as happened there," he whined.

You know what, Louie Gohmert? Screw you. Gabby Giffords was shot six years ago, and that horrific event has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with your current cowardice about facing voters who are angry about the policies you Republicans are trying to enact. And besides, you've been a huge champion of swaggering gun-toting in Texas — so fucking live with it, if you'll excuse our French.

And how did former Congresswoman Giffords react?

"To the politicians who have abandoned their civic obligations, I say this: Have some courage. Face your constituents. Hold town halls."

Oh, Louie, Louie. We hate to tell you, but you have just been humiliated. We cats PURR.

For The Love Of Pete

By Miss Kubelik

We cats try to be meticulous about grammar and spelling — so let us just confess right away that South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg's last name presented us with a challenge.

But we're hoping that soon, we'll need to spell it effortlessly — because Pete Buttigieg will be elected Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. After surveying the horse race that's stampeding toward the finish line on Saturday in Atlanta, we think that this young mayor of Maltese heritage is the stuff that Democratic dreams are made of.

So, how young is he? Wow — incredibly young. (But remember, according to the Constitution, old enough to be President.) But that's part of the point. And we also like Buttigieg because he doesn't fit any cookie-cutter molds: He's an openly gay veteran of Afghanistan, a churchgoer and a gun owner, who's been twice elected in a red state — and who, by the way, was the only DNC chair candidate to personally attend the Women's March on Washington on January 21. (Knowing what a pain the ass it was to stand still for seven hours in a crowd of 500,000 people, we cats are impressed.)

And the fact that our fan fave, former Vermont Governor and former DNC Chair Howard Dean, just endorsed Mayor Pete doesn't hurt, either.

The other candidates are, make no mistake, just swell. But we cats really don't want the Democratic Party to get caught up in a lot of pointless arguments that rehash the 2016 Presidential primaries. We need to look forward, move forward, and not let the confrontations of the past define our future. Choosing a candidate who can't easily be pigeonholed into either camp seems to be the way to go.

We cats may be old — we have nine lives, after all, and we've already gone through a few — but we're not creaky. Or, at least, not creaky enough to stop caring about whipping the Democratic Party back into shape. The country's future rests with the people who are most likely to vote with us. Let's seize it together. We cats PURR.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

"Shut Up And Deal"

See, the beauty of blogging is... when you're a cat, you can do it from either side of the Rainbow Bridge.

Redundant (But Necessary)

Our only regret about this banner?
That the park rangers didn't go rogue and leave it there.