Our 2020 To Do List

By Zamboni

After his impeachment acquittal by the Senate in 1999, Bill Clinton stepped into the White House Rose Garden and apologized to the nation. "I want to say...how profoundly sorry I am for what I said and did to trigger these events, and the great burden they have imposed on the Congress and the American people."

Benedict Donald, of course, will not remotely do this. Because — and we hate to break this to all those Republicans who trashed Bill Clinton from the moment he stepped on the national stage — 45 is nowhere near the man that 42 is. (Although like Clinton, someone is seeking Trump's DNA because she has, um, a dress.)

Nope, Donald will do a revolting victory lap. At the Super Bowl, the State of Union, however the timing turns out. He will smirk, preen, curse at people, insult them, threaten their lives, all the things he usually does — and he will turn off more and more voters in the process.

And then he will go on to commit more crimes. Just like he did on July 25, 2019, the day after Robert Mueller testified.

So, everybody, here's the deal: Nobody's coming to save us. Not Mueller, not John Bolton, not Lev Parnas, not John Roberts*, nobody. There's only us. From now until November 3, we need to register everyone we possibly can and get them out to vote for Democrats up and down every ballot in the land. We have to turn out in numbers so big that even Putin, Trump and the Republicans can't rig them out of existence.

Let's get to work. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

*Already moot because Lisa Murkowski says 

she's voting against witnesses.

Koalas For Everybody!

By Baxter

Here's a feel-good story on a dark day: Australian soldiers taking a break from fighting brushfires are spending their down time helping refugee koalas at the Cleland Wildlife Park, near Adelaide.

The men are "supporting our furry friends during feeding time and by building climbing mounts inside the park," the 16 Regiment Emergency Support Force posted online. "A great morale boost for our hard-working team in the Adelaide Hills."

Almost as fun as a room full of red pandas! We cats PURR.

Bolton'd, Part II?

By Sniffles

Are you feeling a little freaky about all this impeachment stuff? Experiencing sensory overload? We understand. Even though we cats are superior beings, we can find our little heads spinning, not just from what's happening on the Senate floor but from all the plots and subplots swirling around it.

In that vein, let's explore a subplot that just popped up today. And a wild thought that occurred to us.

A little over two weeks after the Ukraine situation blew up in public last September, Democratic Congressman Eliot Engel, who chairs the House Foreign Affairs Committee, had a phone conversation with former National Security Adviser John Bolton.

"On that call, Ambassador Bolton suggested to me — unprompted — that the committee look into the recall of Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch," Engel revealed today. "He strongly implied that something improper had occurred around her removal as our top diplomat in Kyiv."

Pundits are suggesting that Engel made this statement public to ratchet up pressure on Republican Senators for witnesses — and as a coordinated tease for what else is in Bolton's book. But as the talking heads described the Bolton-Engel phone call as something a whistleblower would do, it suddenly dawned on us: What if John Bolton is the whistleblower?

Bolton became National Security Adviser in April 2018. He resigned — or was fired, whatever — this past September 10. The whistleblower complaint had already been submitted (August 12). Bolton and Engel spoke on September 23. Speaker Pelosi announced that the House would begin an impeachment investigation the next day. So the dates fit.

But more strikingly, give the complaint a quick reread and see if you can hear John Bolton's voice. (From what we hear, Bolton tells a good story, and we always thought the complaint was well-written. And while the words "drug deal" don't appear, it sure feels like one.)

It would explain why Engel did not go public with this earlier. And after all the "Where's the whistleblower?" screaming that the Republicans have done, it would be hilarious — and a small, strategic nuclear device detonated in the Office of White House Counsel. We cats PURR.

Bolton'd

By Hubie and Bertie

Ever wonder why the Republicans don't just dump Trump and let Mike Pence (gah) become President? Pence is a fool, of course, but the press would give him a honeymoon that would make your head spin (gah again). The GOP might even be able to stanch the bleeding in some of the battleground states, simply because Pence is not Trump.

But they stand stubbornly by him. It's mystifying.

Is it all Kompromat? Does Lady Lindsey truly not understand that everybody already knows he's gay? Did every Republican receive Russian rubles via the NRA? What was it, billions? The mind reels.

The only thing we can think of is that nobody wants to be the fourth Senator, or the 51st Senator, or whatever the number is of the person who first steps over the (to them) unthinkable line. But they'd better decide soon, because the Bolton revelations haven't stopped. In fact, more came out tonight. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

A Terrible Day Just Got Worse

Hard on the heels of the Kobe Bryant news, we cats read this thread by political commentator Jared Yates Sexton, explaining why Benedict Donald's tweet targeting Adam Schiff this morning was so bone-chilling. To offset the dreadfulness of this, we've posted a cute kitten picture. We cats ZOOM under the bed and hide.

"Every time Donald Trump targets someone, there’s an implicit threat of violence. His language is violence, filled with physicality and passing allusions. But he also knows, full and well, he has at his disposal a legion of followers more than willing to threaten and attack.

"Fascists and authoritarians wield the danger of unhinged, understood violence. When Trump targets you, his white-hot spotlight unleashes an entire sick culture that pounds on your life. They stalk, they threaten, they make your life a living hell.

"This implicit promise of violence ensures many won’t speak out. It pushes people out of careers, forces people into hiding. It creates a situation where writing a column or saying something could lead to a pipe bomb in the mail, a man walking in a business with an AR15.

"Meanwhile, Trump doesn’t have to THE THING explicitly. I watched this happen in his rallies. Trump would tiptoe up to THE THING, the murderous threat, the promise of fascism, and his supporters would go ahead and say it for him. That connection is there, and it’s stunning.

"I heard them call for the overthrow of government. Armed insurrection. Bombing of politicians. The hailing of opponents. Lobotomization. Rape and assault. They heard where Trump was going and they went there with him. They jumped in with both feet. 

"And because Trump doesn’t have to be specific and overt, because he doesn’t say THE THING outright, it earns him deniability. The press won’t hold him accountable. He was joking. He’s inarticulate. You know how he is. Meanwhile, the threat is delivered, the environment charged.

"Countries don’t become fascistic nightmare states overnight. Authoritarians change the environment slowly, over time, in crawling, almost imperceptible ways. They desensitize us, poisoning reality. Trump is getting more brazen. Make no mistake. He’s calling for blood."

28,578

By Miss Kubelik

That's how many pages of evidence the House Managers delivered to the Senate today. If the White House and the Administration had cooperated with Congress instead of stonewalling, it would have been more — a lot more, as Lev and Igor are continuing to prove.

We cats have finally recovered from Schiff's masterful Friday night performance, but it took awhile. Nancy Pelosi really, really, REALLY knew what she was doing when she tapped Schiff to be in charge. She and Schiff fundamentally understood that the Managers' audience was not going to be the Republican Senate caucus. It was going to be the American people — and American history.

Years from now, when historians write about this disaster of a Presidency, Schiff will loom extraordinarily large. In fact, the presentations of all the House Managers could be bound into a tight little book for readers who want a clear, concise understanding of WTF really happened with Benedict Donald and Ukraine. And then Schiff's closing statement last night will bring them to tears.

We do have to say one thing about Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski and the other GOP Senators who are up in arms about Schiff's reference to "heads on pikes." The "heads" news flash originated with CBS News, and if the Republicans are upset, their beef is with them. (CBS is more than capable of standing by its story.) What Collins and the others — who are clearly in a box and just looking for a handy out — don't seem to realize is that their white-hot reaction to a clearly touched nerve has allowed Schiff to expose them all as cowards. We cats PURR.

Move Over, Everybody

We cats admit it: After watching Adam Schiff's closing statement to the Senate tonight, there's a new god in town. We'll have more to say — after we regain our composure. Until then, we can only PURR.

Back To Bloomberg

By Zamboni

Well, here we are again! There's much drama underway in the US Senate right now, but we cats keep getting pulled into the wild and wonderful world of Michael Bloomberg. He's not even a candidate in the Iowa caucuses, but we're intrigued by the long game he's playing.

His strategy is fascinating: Play hard on social media, be ubiquitous, tout your success, create a slogan that will fit on a cap, and spend, spend, spend — even if it's not on yourself. In other words, if he doesn't get the Democratic nomination, he'll still bankroll our ticket and other Democratic candidates across the country come November.

So being curious cats, we're interested. Thanks to the size of Bloomberg's checkbook (is that why the ever-insecure Trump insists on calling him "Mini"-Mike?), he's rewriting the script for late entrants in the field. His Super Tuesday plan means that other candidates will get legs up on him between now and March 3. But being willing to spend $2 billion (which he doesn't have to raise because he already has it) means that Bloomberg won't go away.

Right now, the only flaw we see is that in a tight election, Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada will matter — and Bloomberg isn't yet building anything in those states. We assume he'll go in after the early contests and not just leave those 16 total electoral votes on the table. Add South Carolina, too, Mike — if you want to help Jaime Harrison get the Senate's biggest fool out of office. We cats PURR.

Wally For President

By Baxter

American democracy is dying in the United States Senate, but all anybody can talk about is how Hillary Clinton said mean things about Bernie Sanders.

"Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done. He was a career politician. It's all just baloney and I feel so bad that people got sucked into it," she says in a documentary that's premiering at Sundance in a few days.

GASP! Clinton speaking her mind after a long silence is apparently worse — worse! — than Sanders claiming he never told Elizabeth Warren that a woman can't get elected, and way more awful than Zephyr Teachout, a Sanders surrogate, accusing Joe Biden of corruption — the very thing Trump wants to tar him with — in an op-ed. For the Teachout piece, Sanders has been forced to apologize. Never mind that his campaign had tweeted it out to all corners of the universe.

What we're saying here is that there's a lot of hypocrisy going on. Although it seems like Clinton beamed in with this opinion from out of nowhere, it's happening in the following context: Bernie Sanders's behavior of late has been less than admirable. Well before today, he went negative on other Democrats — and on the eve, no less, of the Iowa caucuses, where he sits at or near the top of most polls. Why? Why do that unless your purpose in life is to simply be a pain in the ass?

So while we can't testify to whether "nobody" likes Bernie Sanders, Secretary Clinton can speak for us. We don't like Bernie Sanders. At all. In fact, we pretty much loathe him.

That said, if the Democrats nominate him, we'll vote for him. Why?

The future of the country is at stake. Ditto the fate of the planet. The enemy is Trump. If the Democrats nominate Wally Cox, we're voting for Wally Cox. It's that important. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Dial For Democracy

By Sniffles

Social media is such a disaster in so many ways that we cats are always delighted when we come across it being constructive and helpful.

As in: Why not share the direct Capitol Hill phone numbers of Republican Senators who are either endangered, retiring, ambitious, or alleged to be on the verge of having some balls about Trump?

(Yes, we know that last category is a little far-fetched. Anyone waiting for Mitt Romney to grow a pair and do the right thing will be... well, the name "Godot" comes to mind.)

But still, it's useful. If you saw how Mitch McConnell folded on his Senate trial rules after his caucus meeting today, you have to assume that the GOP Senators who ate his lunch must have felt some heat.

Here's the key, though: They felt it from their constituents. In New York, we already know that Senators Schumer and Gillibrand will hold Trump accountable for his crimes. But it's silly for us to express ourselves to the Murkowskis and McSallys and Gardners of the world. Those Senators don't give a rat's behind what we think, because we aren't registered to vote in their states.

So, team, here's the list that's going around. If one of these Senators is yours, please call and demand witnesses and documents. We cats PURR.

Alexander 202-224-4944
Burr 202-224-3154
Collins 202-224-2523
Enzo 202-224-3424
Ernst 202-224-3254
Gardner 202-224-5941
Grassley 202-224-3744
McSally 202-224-2235
Murkowski 202-224-6665
Romney 202-224-5251
Sasse 202-224-4224
Tillis 202-224-6342

Happy MLK Day

By Hubie and Bertie

In case you're wondering, yes — this cartoon is by the same artist who got in such hot water last summer for depicting Donald Trump "playing through" a couple of drowned immigrants.

And what's more nightmarish than staging a pro-gun rally in Richmond, Virginia, on Martin Luther King Day?

The rally appears to be peaceful so far, thank goodness. But we're assuming that the demonstrators won't be able to intimidate the Virginia legislature from doing what's right.

That's because:

• 88 percent of Virginians support background checks for gun buyers
• 82 percent favor "red flag" laws
• 58 percent want stricter gun laws across the Commonwealth

Virginia Democrats won overwhelmingly in 2019 on these issues. And after today's pretend soldiers toddle home to their trailer parks, Democrats will enact the legislation that Virginians want. We cats PURR.

Gunning For Richmond

By Miss Kubelik

Once, a few years ago, we cats were in a store in Northern Virginia when we saw a fellow customer toddling around the aisles with a gun on his belt. We could not get out of that store fast enough.

We know the statistics: 100 Americans die from gun violence every day — 1,500 kids each year. The presence of a firearm in your house dramatically increases the chances that you'll be killed with it. Long story short, we don't want to be anywhere near a gun.

So the chances that we'd want to be in Richmond, Virginia, tomorrow? Don't make us laugh.

Monday is Martin Luther King Day, and the nutcases are coming out in force. Second Amendment enthusiasts are so alarmed that Virginians elected gun-control-supporting Democrats in November that they're pledging to show up at the state capitol to express their dismay. That normally wouldn't be a problem — except for all the promises of violence that poured in from neo-Nazi and militia groups.

Governor Ralph Northam isn't getting into the gory details publicly. But the threats have been bad enough to change the mind of the Republican state house minority leader, Todd Gilbert, who had been bleating earlier about Northam's declaration of a state of emergency. After a private briefing, Gilbert announced, "Any group that comes to Richmond to spread white supremacist garbage, or any other form of hate, violence or civil unrest isn’t welcome here." Well!

No firearms will be allowed within a certain perimeter at the capitol. But outside it — oy.

We're happy to be 500-plus miles away. We cats hope that no innocent people are hurt or killed. In the meantime, we HISS.

Coming Through In The Clutch

By Zamboni

Here in the US, our government is in a shambles. But in Canada, they have reason to be proud.

First, in the immediate aftermath of the crash of flight 752, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rose to the occasion as consoler-in-chief. In measured, compassionate terms, he expressed his nation's outrage and sympathy for the families affected — without drama. His approach also gave Iran the room it needed to admit its culpability (no small thing).

Since then, Trudeau has pledged $25,000 per victim, per family, in support from the government of Canada. He's made it clear that Iran is on the hook for this money. But in the meantime, families have expenses to cover, like travel and funeral arrangements. Ottawa has their backs. This is good.

Meanwhile, Newfoundland today is getting hammered with an epic snow event. Trudeau has mobilized the Canadian Armed Forces to help with storm relief. (Take it from us, if you had snow piled up to the second floor of your house, you'd want some help digging out, too.)

Kinda obvious that liberal governments respond best to the needs of citizens — as opposed to conservative governments, who believe that it's every man for himself. And yes, we mean "man." We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

First Step: National Archives. Next Step: History?

By Baxter

News flash: We're having a bit of snow. We cats are snug at home with a good dinner under our belts, waiting for the HOA dudes to plow us out. We hear a few snowplows already. Life is good.

Another news flash: The National Archives has been caught altering an image from the 2017 Women's March in a larger exhibit on women's suffrage. Seems that protesters' signs blasting Trump were blurred so as not to rile anybody.

We're wondering whom the Archives are not trying to offend. The Trumpsters? People who might not like the word "pussy"? Posterity? Consider us cats alarmed.

Once this starts, what's next? Will the Smithsonian remove Archie Bunker's chair (because, of course, All in the Family made fun of his bigotry)? Will Trump make the Museum of African-American History & Culture close down? Will they whitewash (no pun intended) exhibits on the American Bund rally at Madison Square Garden in February 1939?

We are in trouble, folks. Once authentic images from history are manipulated by official entities, we have entered fascist/autocratic territory. There is only one solution to this. REGISTER VOTERS, ESPECIALLY IN BATTLEGROUND STATES, KEEP THEM REGISTERED, AND VOTE THESE TRUMP FASCISTS' ASSES OUT OF OFFICE IN NOVEMBER. Please excuse the shouting. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: From the US National Archives: "We have removed the current display and will replace it as soon as possible with one that uses the unaltered image. We apologize, and will immediately start a thorough review of our exhibit policies and procedures so that this does not happen again." HEADS MUST ROLL. We cats HISS.

"Winning Is Everything"

By Sniffles

Thanks to the impeachment-related antics of our Republican Congresswoman, Elise Stefanik, our New York district has gone from solid red in 2020 to who-knows-maybe-we-can-win-this.

And it's hilarious that on the day after "The Lev & Rachel Show, Part I," we learned that Stefanik was just made honorary chair for Benedict Donald's re-election campaign.

We have a lot of phone calls to make, doors to knock, and organizing to do. But Elise just keeps making it easier. We cats PURR.

P.S. Happy birthday, Lin-Manuel!

Quick Observations On The Lev-And-Rachel Show

By Hubie and Bertie

Aside from "goodness gracious," what do we have to say about the Lev Parnas interview on The Rachel Maddow Show tonight?

Can you believe it's only Part I? Part II airs Thursday night. Way to crank up pressure on Republican Senators taking impeachment trial oaths tomorrow.

Parnas deeply implicated Mike Pence in the Ukraine shakedown. We instantly noticed #PresidentPelosi trending.

We know that Parnas coming clean will probably help save our democracy. But he's a crook who has abused his American citizenship, and we want to rip that damn flag pin off his lapel.

Finally, we assume that for Ambassador Yovanovitch — who lost her job and had her life turned upside down — Parnas's apology is too little, too late. We hope that she enjoys a very dry martini tonight, plus the love and support of her family, friends and many, many fans. We cats PURR.

It's All In The Timing

By Miss Kubelik

"Can a woman win the Presidency?" We cats have already reminded everyone that the female candidate in 2016 racked up three million more votes than the male candidate did. Now, it seems we have to point out that the person in America most effectively kicking Benedict Donald's ass is also a woman: Nancy Pelosi.

Oh, how the punditheads second-guess her. In fact, one of the sorriest of their lot smugly published a piece at CNN today about how Pelosi had "gambled and lost on the impeachment delay." Then, a few hours later, the House quietly released a treasure trove of massively incriminating stuff from Trump-Giuliani stooge Lev Parnas.

(Lev, you see, is hurt that Trump said he didn't know him, so he's cooperating with prosecutors. And a judge just greenlighted the sharing of Lev's trove with Team Schiff.)

So here we are. And tomorrow the House votes on sending the articles to the Senate.

Just imagine if Pelosi had not waited, insisting on witnesses and a fair trial. #MoscowMitch would have been well on his way to exonerating Benedict Donald by now. In fact, Trump would be thumping the lectern in triumph at his Milwaukee "show" tonight.

Instead, tomorrow the articles will cross Capitol Hill in the shadow of Lev's weird scribbles at the Ritz-Carlton ("Get Zelensky to annonce [sic] that the Biden case will be investigated"), Giuliani pressing for meetings even before Zelensky was inaugurated ("In my capacity as personal counsel to President Trump and with his knowledge and consent, I request a meeting with you"), and Robert F. Hyde's spooky texts to Lev about thugs he knew who were game to assassinate Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch ("They are willing to help if we/you would like a price").

Sorry, pundits. Sorry, Senate Republicans up for dicey re-election this year. Nancy Pelosi wins again. As we observed back in September, the she-coon walks just before the light of day. We cats PURR.

Interesting Strategy? Abso-Bloomberg-Lutely.

By Zamboni

We cats are not getting into this Sanders-Warren kerfuffle. It reeks of something that the Trumpsters want us to waste energy on. Let's just say that it's best we all focus on registering voters, fighting purges and suppression, making phone calls, knocking on doors and, when the time comes, GOTV. (Although we will take one moment here to point out that the female Presidential candidate in 2016 got three million more votes than the male candidate did. Okay, done.)

Then there's the question of money. Our political campaigns being what they are, it's an unavoidable topic. And that's where Michael Bloomberg comes in. Let us explain.

There have been times when we thought Trump was afraid of certain candidates on the Democratic side — such as when it came out that Benedict Donald was committing impeachable acts to manufacture dirt on Joe Biden. (More on that in his upcoming Senate trial... fun!) Now it appears to be Bloomberg's turn, with a recent Trumpian tweet that its author no doubt thought was clever to beat the band.

Our first take: Bloomberg will survive belittling nicknames. Our next take: Trump is worried about Bloomberg's money.

He should be. Michael Bloomberg has declared that even if he doesn't win the Democratic nomination, he's going all-out to defeat Benedict Donald in the fall. "He is simultaneously building out a general election machine...with a new structure — data, field organizing, advertising and policy — that aims to elect Democrats up and down the ballot," The Washington Post reports.

And just because Bloomberg is a (real) billionaire, don't assume that he doesn't care about stretching a dollar:

"His data operation...aims to incorporate expensive demographic and targeting data, parts of which can later be fed back into the [Democratic] Party's databases or repurposed for the broader fight against Trump and the Republicans," the Post explains. "The fact that he is a candidate gives him greater access to party data than he would otherwise have, and as a candidate he also benefits from lower television ad rates in swing states before their primary contests than he would if he simply advertised against Trump as a regular citizen."

This is a very canny move on Bloomberg's part — not just about the data, which will be critical, but especially given the amount of money he's throwing around. When he spends $100 million (which he's already done), it's the equivalent of a PAC spending about $140 million. That $40 million difference would pay for a healthy eight-week general election a buy for, say, all media markets in the entire state of Florida.

It makes no sense to run the government like a business. But it can be very smart to run a Presidential campaign like one. We're keeping our eyes on Michael Bloomberg. In the meantime, we've decided to PURR.

A Mountain Too Big For The GOP To Climb

By Baxter

Is Washington State any kind of a bellwether for this year's election? Yes, Washington is blue, but even taking that into account, some dramatic shifts are continuing there.

The 2018 election gave Democrats solid majorities in the state legislature, and now they seem on track to go so deeply blue that they'll make Virginia look like a Republican stronghold.

Going into 2018, Democrats had a 13-point lead in pollsters' generic-ballot questions. (That's a question that asks whether respondents intend to vote for Republicans or Democrats in the next election.) And that November, Washington voters elected Democratic majorities of 57 to 41 in the state house and 28 to 21 in the state senate. Today, Washington State Democrats hold a 17-point lead on the generic ballot. Four points better!

Not only should Republicans give up any dreams of recapturing those state legislative seats, when you dig down into the numbers, the news looks even grimmer for them. GOP fortunes have virtually vanished in the big cities, are getting increasingly slim in suburbs, and are even starting to erode in nearby rural areas.

This is what happens when you embrace hate and greed, care only about the white and the wealthy, and put a gangster and a cretin in the highest office in the land. The people reject you. We cats PURR.

The Advantage Of Behaving Like A Grownup

By Sniffles

Iran has admitted that it accidentally shot down Ukraine flight 752. Will anyone notice that the leaders of the countries most affected by this tragedy gave it room to do so?

Ukraine, Sweden and Canada responded to the crash with solemnity and control. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, in particular, met with the press and expressed a deep resolve to get at the truth. You could tell that he hadn't slept much. It seemed like he was imagining how he'd feel to lose a loved one so terribly and suddenly. (In fact, he knows that experience all too well.)

Now that Iran has confessed, Ukraine and the Western powers can work with it to send in investigators and resources. There's a lot still to be resolved, but baby steps can turn into bigger steps — and since Iran is not some podunk country but rather a heavily armed nation of more than 80 million, this is a good thing.

Benedict Donald, of course — child that he is — wouldn't have been capable of such restraint. Another reason to be glad that no Americans were on this doomed flight.

But truth be told, no one should be relieved not to have been on this plane. The passengers who were deserved to get to their destinations in one piece. Iran fired the surface-to-air missile, but wouldn't have been so hair-trigger to begin with had Trump not set these awful events into motion with a reckless assassination.

As Trudeau said, "I am outraged and furious that families across this country are grieving the loss of their loved ones, that the Iranian-Canadian community is suffering so greatly, that all Canadians are shocked and appalled at the senseless loss of life." As he moves forward to bind his nation's wounds, it's pretty clear who on the North American continent is a true leader, and who is not. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

The Max Cleland Treatment Hits A Wall

By Hubie and Bertie

We all know that Benedict Donald's M.O. is to never, ever apologize. Apologies show you are weak. Worthless. Unmanly. So why has Congressman Doug Collins suddenly apologized for saying that Democrats are "in love with terrorists"?

Is it because Preet Bharara shamed him with an exquisite opinion piece on CNN.com? Or was it that devastating tweet from veteran and Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), about leaving body parts behind in Iraq?

You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But, nah. Although we've seen no news reports or political gossip to confirm this, we cats are sure that Collins did a quick poll in his district — Georgia's Ninth — and realized that his constituents were throwing up all over him.

We also found Collins's apology lacking. He simply had to qualify it with a reference to carnage he saw when he served in Iraq, didn't he? Of course, unlike Senator Duckworth, Collins returned home with both his legs. And his party recently made headlines by telling Congresswoman Ilhan Omar that she didn't deserve to say that she suffered from PTSD. (Yes, GOP, you don't have to have worn a uniform to experience it.)

It is all revolting. But for the execrable Mr. Collins, here's the bottom line: In the last 48 hours, he has managed to be more offensive, more despicable, more disgusting than even Matt Gaetz — who at least had the decency to vote in favor of the War Powers Resolution.

You realize what that means? That's like trying to be a worst President than Trump. We cats are wildly impressed with Collins's dubious accomplishment, but we still HISS.

More Blood On Benedict Donald's Tiny Hands?

By Miss Kubelik

It appears that Justin Trudeau has risen to the occasion and acted like a leader in the horrible aftermath of Flight 752, on which 63 Canadians died. (Benedict Donald and his GOP enablers should take notes. They won't — but others have definitely noticed.) And yes, Justin has a beard. (Okay, we've gotten that out of the way.)

Here's what Trudeau said today: "We have intelligence from multiple sources, including our allies and our own intelligence. The evidence indicates that the plane was shot down by an Iranian surface-to-air missile. This may well have been unintentional."

Trudeau has called for a thorough investigation. Will it cover this interesting little nugget we came across today — that Sean Hannity boasted on air that six B-52s were headed for Iran, and that the "mullahs in their bunkers" should keep their eyes on the skies?

Surely the Iranians monitor American TV, particularly FOX. Could they have thought a commercial airliner was a B-52 — or any other kind of American fighting aircraft?

Somebody needs to look at the timeline of Hannity's broadcast vis-a-vis the shoot-down. But color us completely unsurprised if it turns out that Benedict Donald was blabbing to Hannity (as he is wont to do) and that Hannity, unable to contain his excitement, blabbed to the world (as he is similarly wont to do) some important, non-public military information.

It all makes sense to us because when you listen to Hannity, it sounds like his source was someone highly uninformed, naive about military and intelligence matters, and apt to shoot from the hip. Gee, who does that remind you of? We cats HISS.

UPDATE: Trump is not the only malevolent force wreaking havoc in the world: Australia continues to burn. Here's another organization you can support to help rescue Down Under's wildlife.

President Sniffy-Slurrer Addresses The Nation

By Zamboni

The word is that Benedict Donald has been silent on Twitter today. Is he feeling a tad down, since everyone's making fun of his slurred speech this afternoon and Republicans in Congress aren't buying his team's briefing on the Soleimani assassination? Don't they know that "All is well!"? (And are we the only ones thinking about Kevin Bacon at the end of "Animal House"? Say it ain't so.)

Because all is not well.

It feels strange to agree with Republican Senators Mike Lee and Rand Paul. But Lee in particular just blew a gasket today after the briefing. "It is not acceptable for officials within the executive branch…to come and tell us that we can’t debate and discuss the appropriateness of military intervention against Iran," he fumed. "It’s un-American, it’s unconstitutional, and it’s wrong." Who's going to yank Lee and Paul back into place? You know it'll happen.

Meanwhile, the undercurrent to this Iran stuff is — let's just come out and say it — relief, because our President is an idiot. That's our unscientific opinion after seeing reports from American moms that their teen sons had been freaking out about World War III and a draft. Oh, and the top trend right now is not Iran but #Harry&Meghan, with 236,000 tweets. Don't tell us people aren't breathing the proverbial sigh.

It's hard to see how this harrowing episode is a "win" for the Trumpsters. Benedict Donald has united Iran against us, inspired Iraq to kick us out, and torn the last remnants of the nuclear deal to shreds. He's scared the bejesus out of Americans who went to bed last night thinking we were at war. (Can't see that going over well with female voters in the suburbs.) Compared to the media's compliance with the Bush Administration in 2003-04, Trump's lies are being exposed at lightning speed. And his mental and physical deterioration was once again on display this afternoon, for the entire world to see.

We call all that a "loss" — unless you're talking about a nation that expected a nuclear conflagration before breakfast. We cats HISS.

Assassination By An Ass

By Baxter

It's not exactly comforting to remember that the carnage of World War I began with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, who was next in line for the Austria-Hungary throne. Last week's assassination of General Qassim Soleimani — widely assumed to be an Iranian heir presumptive — is even worse, because it wasn't committed by a single deranged person, but by a nation-state.

OTOH, maybe it was by a single deranged person: Donald Trump.

We cats can hardly believe that a reality TV show host, who failed at real estate, casinos, wine, steaks, airlines, magazines, universities, etc., etc. has gotten the United States to this point. We knew Benedict Donald would be terrible, but this bad? Goodness gracious. (Of course, we assume that all the Trump boys and the chickenhawk neocons and FOX "News" warmongers will rush to enlist now — right?)

But whatever happens these next few days and weeks, please don't doubt that this killing was an assassination. Soleimani was one of the biggest pooh-bahs in the Iranian government, comparable to a Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff or, to aptly compare bad guy to bad guy, Dick Cheney. And even now, the US is not at war with the country of Iran. So let's have none of this semantic hand-wringing. This is an assassination — potentially the most consequential one in the Middle East since Yizhak Rabin's in 1995.

It has been reported that both George W. Bush and Barack Obama weighed the idea of taking out Soleimani but rejected it as too risky. One or both of them needs to speak up now, because in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, this is no ordinary time. We cats HISS.

P.S. While Trump is killing people and starting wars, Australia is still on fire and needs help. Here's another organization that's working hard to save the koalas. Thanks for your support!

Pompeo Poops Out

By Sniffles

What's the matter with Kansas? Pat Roberts doesn't want to be its Senator any more, and in spite of the entreaties of #MoscowMitch McConnell, neither does Mike Pompeo.

We cats were already excited about the leading Democratic candidate in that race, Barbara Bollier. State Senator Bollier changed her party registration from "R" to "D" in 2018, after the GOP got crazy on issues she cared about. "Morally, the [Kansas Republican party] is not going where my compass resides," she said, adding that the "breaking point" had been the inclusion of transphobic language in the party platform.

And now that Pompeo — who has spent the last few months lying his fat ass off about Benedict Donald's Ukraine scandal — has decided not to run, we expect that the pollsters and prognosticators will update their ratings soon and move the race closer to a toss-up.

Yes, Pompeo's decision will temporarily strengthen the hand of immigrant-hater Kris Kobach in the Republican primary (although it might inspire a couple of Roy Moore types to jump in, too). But suffice to say that this is one headache #MoscowMitch did not want to have. How much easier to have Pompeo carry the GOP banner than the uber-toxic Kobach — particularly since, thanks to Sam Brownback, the Republican brand is so damaged in Kansas these days.

The big questions now: Will Benedict Donald rush to endorse his erstwhile "immigration czar"? Or will #MoscowMitch be able to talk him out of it? We cats PURR.

Still Accentuating The Positive

By Hubie and Bertie

The news continues to be awful. Benedict Donald's obsession with destroying Barack Obama's legacy has extended to the last vestiges of the Iran nuclear deal. (In other words, erasing everything Obama did is more important to Trump than world safety. And oh, he's threatening war crimes on Twitter.) And Australia is still on fire. So we cats went in search of stories to cheer us up. Here's what we found.

Australia may be devastated and its Prime Minister a hapless idiot, but help is on the way: Comedian Celeste Barber has raised $28 million online for firefighting and relief efforts, with huge contributions from sports and entertainment celebrities. Keep it up, everyone!

The New England Patriots lost yesterday. We couldn't care less about football, but we do care that Tom Brady is a Trump fan. HAHAHAHAHA.

Another Republican House member is retiring — the 26th so far. Gee, life isn't so fun in the minority, is it, guys? Phil Roe's Tennessee district is a red one, but we're rooting for an expensive, divisive primary, to eat up GOP energies and resources.

Thousands of people, including Governor Andrew Cuomo and Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, marched against anti-Semitism in New York City's "No Hate No Fear" event this morning.

Finally, Walter Mondale turns 92 today. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Everything Trump Does Is About This Woman

Nancy Pelosi is the only person who has held Trump accountable for his actions. In the days to come, whatever happens, remember this.

On The Wrong Side, In So Many Ways

By Miss Kubelik

Here are two examples of politicians who have been proven in the last week to be worthless pieces of shit — for different reasons.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison in Australia is a huge champion of coal. If he's not an out-and-out climate change denier, he's a climate-change soft-pedaler. Either way, he's getting roasted by the Australian press (and the occasional Australian fire victim) for his hapless, ham-handed and mind-boggling response to the Armageddon his country is enduring.

(And let's take note of the fact that the Liberal Party in Australia is, despite its name, center-right. Morrison is a Liberal, but he's not a lefty. Remember, he's Donald Trump's new best friend.)

Meanwhile, here in the Empire State, Republican state Assemblyman Brian Kolb has announced he is stepping down from his leadership role in the New York Assembly Minority Conference.

Why? Because on Christmas Eve, Assemblyman Kolb published an op-ed, counseling New Yorkers against drinking and driving. Then, on New Year's Eve, Assemblyman Kolb was arrested in the town of Victor, near Rochester, for DWI.

Personally, as New York taxpayers we cats are most upset that Kolb crashed a state-issued car in his drunken mishap. We couldn't care less whether he was hurt or, at the very least, embarrassed. But how dare he misuse the resources we taxpayers provide him? Kolb deserves to have the book — or an entire library of books — thrown at him.

Bottom line: Whether right-wing politicians are refusing to acknowledge science — or lecturing other people on behavior that they themselves are guilty of — those politicians need to take a hike, big time. Actually, if they shot themselves, the world would be a better place.

New York Republicans have booted Kolb from his leadership position. (And maybe from his state assembly seat? — we'll see.) In the meantime, we wait eagerly to see what Australian voters have in store for Scott Morrison. We suspect it won't be pretty. That would make us cats PURR.

Do One Thing.

By Zamboni

The news from Australia continues to be horrifying and depressing, filling us with dread for 2020. The brutal bushfires there are just the world's latest climate-change-related disaster, and the details we cats are reading will haunt us for the rest of our nine lives. We won't share because believe us, you don't want to know.

With Armageddon on the horizon and so many autocrats, polluters and just plain jackasses in charge across the globe — in Australia, the US, the UK, Russia, Poland, Hungary, North Korea, the Philippines, Saudi Arabia, China, India, Brazil* — a lot of us feel sad and helpless. What can any one of us do to stop this horrible destruction?

Well, we can all do one thing. The New Year is only two days old, so pick one and run with it.

• Don't fly to that next business trip. Skype instead.
• Take mass transit, carpool, or ride your bike to work. If you can't do that, start by not driving to work (or anywhere) for just one day a week. Then build from there.
• Eat less red meat and dairy. The poultry industry has a lower carbon footprint. So eat chicken.
• Turn off appliances and electronics when you're not using them.
• Join a local renewable energy co-op.
• Click here for more ideas.

Most of all, it's an election year in the US. To help save the planet, we need Democrats to win the Presidency and the Senate and keep the House. Here are a few marching orders:

• Look up registration deadlines in your state and help get everyone you know who's worried about climate (and everything else) to register and vote.
• If you live in a red state, monitor your own voter registration on a regular basis to ensure you haven't been purged. (Take this seriously. The Republicans will do it if they can.)
• Check the dates of every election in 2020 — not just the Presidential race, but races for local and state offices, where much climate action can take place.
• If you live a a swing House district or in a state with a vulnerable Republican Senator, pick a campaign and volunteer to raise money, organize rallies, knock on doors and get out the vote.

Yes, the news is wildly depressing. But taking action makes you feel better. Let's get going! We cats PURR.

*We'd add Israel to this list, but nobody's in charge there.

We Couldn't Have Said It Better Than This (So Here It Is)

Just a quickie for the New Year: Stuart Stevens, Republican, sums up the state of his party in The Washington Post.

"Republicans are now officially the character doesn’t count party, the personal responsibility just proves you have failed to blame the other guy party, the deficit doesn’t matter party, the Russia is our ally party, and the I’m-right-and-you-are-human-scum party...

"Trump didn’t hijack the GOP and bend it to his will. He did something far easier: He looked at the party, saw its fault lines and then offered himself as a pure distillation of accumulated white grievance and anger.

"He bet that Republican voters didn’t really care about free trade or mutual security, or about the environment or Europe, much less deficits. He rebranded kindness and compassion as 'PC' and elevated division and bigotry as the admirable goals of just being politically incorrect. Trump didn’t make Americans more racist; he just normalized the resentments that were simmering in many households. In short, he let a lot of long-suppressed demons out of the box."

Well, team, it's 2020 now, and time to box those demons back up. Let's dedicate ourselves to tossing these GOP haters and miscreants out in November — up and down the ballot in every state. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Luca D'Urbino, The Economist)