Eggs-ceptional!

July is nearly over, and what a month it's been. The Trumpsters have been knocked on their keisters, and Democrats have once again discovered the politics of joy. And if you were looking for more reasons to vote for Vice President Harris, here's a good one: She can break an egg with one hand. We cats PURR.

Dude Developments

By Miss Kubelik

Word last night was that Elon Musk suddenly deactivated the Twitter account for White Dudes for Harris. Well, it's back today. Who knows what the hell is going on over there? We're still on the platform, but are keeping watch in case there comes a time between now and when Mark Cuban buys it that we need to bail.

(No, Mark Cuban is not buying Twitter. Yet. We just like the idea.)

Meanwhile, it looks like the White Dudes organizing call was a great success. And speaking of male people of pale-ish pigment, since the Harris campaign announced a tour of swing states for next week, rumors are abounding that the Vice President is close to selecting her running mate. Here's the best advice we saw on social media for whenever her decision is announced:

"I’m hereby letting everyone know that if Kamala picks a VP who isn’t your first choice, you have 24 minutes to be salty. That's it. I don’t wanna see whiney posts. Not one. Got it?

"CLARIFICATION: The 24 minutes is like PTO. Use it when you need it. If you don't use it, you lose it. No accrual. If you don't need it, you can donate it someone who does.

"Also, I chose 24 minutes because it’s the 2024 election and we’re Never Going Back." We cats PURR.

The Gospel According To Matthew

 

"One thing analysts haven't understood right now is that Harris is coming across to voters as the challenger. 

"Trump is coming across as the incumbent. Because Harris is 'new' to most people, and Trump was President before and constantly in media, she has the challenger energy."

—Matthew Dowd, political consultant and former Republican

"Whom Every Man In Arms Should Wish To Be"

By Zamboni

Let's just say, right out of the litter box, that we cats have no idea who Vice President Kamala Harris will select as her 2024 running mate. There are so many great candidates that somehow it seems like she couldn't make a bad choice. Democrats have a deep and impressive bench — not just for Veep but as campaign surrogates who we hope will fan out across the country from now through November 5.

Still, of all the dudes (yes, mostly dudes) whose names have been bandied about, we have to say we have a soft spot for Minnesota Governor Tim Walz. Why didn't we know about this guy before?

Wait, we take that back — we did know about him, thanks to this wonderful image that was taken after Governor Walz signed a bill guaranteeing free meals to children in Minnesota schools. As a longtime teacher, Walz knows kids can't learn if they're hungry. (Republicans, as you'd expect, were sourpussed and mean about it. Screw them.)

But what's really been fun this last week is how effectively Walz stays on message. He's confident, clarifying, and convivial, kind of a teddy-bear, girl-Dad version of that master communicator, Pete Buttigieg. You come away from his interviews with a big smile on your face. We love him.

After eight years of Trumpian hate, insults and cruelty, we're convinced that America is ready for joy. Like his fellow Minnesotan Hubert Humphrey, Tim Walz is a happy warrior. We cats PURR.

How Very Villages!

 

Gee, the Trump-loving old farts at The Villages must be really mad today. This famous Florida hotbed of Benedict Donald support is turning out a 500-strong golf-cart parade for Kamala Harris right now. Congratulations, Florida seniors for making them sweat! We cats PURR.

More Folks Are Answering The Call

 

The organizing events just keep coming. We cats PURR.

Did We Say There Were More Organizing Calls Out There? Yes. Yes, We Did.

 

Tidbits And Cat Treats: That Was The Week That Was Edition

By Baxter

Happy Friday! Are we all feeling whipsawed yet? We Democrats have gone from weepy to ecstatic and back again in the space of just five days, so if you feel you should take a sedative, mix a martini or just go for a long walk without your phone, please do. Meanwhile, here are a few thoughts that are racing around our fuzzy heads.

Looks like Benedict Donald is experiencing some buyer's remorse about JD Vance — and he's not alone. Yes, Vance has been a dud on the stump, but if you want to know more, just go to the Google machine and search on his name plus "sofa" and "dolphin porn." Fair warning: You may not be able to unsee the images these reports conjure in your mind.

Anthony Scaramucci had an interesting comment the other day about Vance. He said that Trump approaches everything as a question of casting. So, did they choose the wrong guy for the role of running mate? Is this the 2022 Funny Girl crisis redux?

The surge of enthusiasm for Vice President Kamala Harris (and the love that's cascaded over President Joe Biden) is like something we've never seen — and we cats have been around politics since we were kittens. The useless pundits keep asking if Harris can put together a campaign in so short a time. Ridiculous — the campaign never missed a beat, and her rollout has been flawless. What is important, though, is that we, her supporters and volunteers, have to ID our voters, make sure they're registered, and get them to the polls. The next 100 days are going to be the most consequential for the country since FDR's first in 1933.

To that end, it's great news that the White Women for Harris call last night hosted nearly 200,000 participants and raised more than $8.5 million — in spite of crashing Zoom a time or two and basically overloading the interwebs. And it's not the only organizing call out there! If you're free this coming Monday and want to participate in Women for Harris (men are welcome), click here.

We broke Zoom — so let's break Trump! We cats PURR.

Save The Date AND REGISTER

It's a sad fact that more than 50 percent of white women voted for Trump in both 2016 and 2020. This is enraging, of course. But this year, post-Dobbs and facing the most misogynistic ticket in American political history, we have a chance to prove to Black and other women of color that we can help save democracy.

If you're a white woman, mark your calendar for this event. It needs to be as successful as this past Sunday evening's "Win With Black Women" Zoom, in which 44,000 participants strategized on how to help Vice President Harris, and raised more than $1 million for her campaign. As soon as we get the link to register, we'll share it. We cats PURR.

(UPDATE: To register, click here now.)

(UPDATE #2: The news is still coming in, but it looks like 136,000 participants were on this call! We cats PURR.)

Greatly Exaggerated

By Sniffles

Several of our nine lives ago, we cats worked for the Carter-Mondale re-election campaign. And because we were just kittens at the time, there were times we made mistakes on the job. But there was no internet and social media back then — thank goodness — and, therefore, much less opportunity to get embarrassed in front of the entire world.

Well, today somebody created a fake letter "from the office of Jimmy Carter," announcing his death, and some in the media (including Rupert Murdoch's New York Post) ran with it. So, too, did a United States Senator, Mike Lee from Utah, who posted "thoughts and prayers" on Twitter. Did he read the entire letter, which makes silly references ("selling the United States out to Panama," "getting soft on the Soviet Union") and lewd allusions to Rosalynn Carter and Nancy Reagan? Did he notice that the letterhead used the Presidential seal (inappropriate) and not The Carter Center logo? Did his staff? Guess not.

Stupid and sloppy — not unlike the Trump campaign's reaction to President Biden's withdrawal. And Lee is a guy whose name is constantly floated for the Supreme Court. Thanks, Republicans, but we already have enough idiots on SCOTUS as it is.

Folks at The Carter Center, being good Christians, declined to make fun of anyone in their brief denial. But we hope President Carter, age 99 and in hospice, woke up, heard about this, and laughed. We cats PURR.

47

 

By Hubie and Bertie

What a tsunami of news these last two days. And all good!

In the last 24 hours, hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of them first-time donors, have contributed $81 million to Kamala Harris for President — a dollar for every one of us who voted for Biden-Harris in 2020. The Republicans have, incredibly, been caught flat-footed — is it because they have absolutely no understanding of statesmanlike behavior? — and are flop-sweating all over the place. And while we haven't been watching (we may never watch cable news again), we hope the MSM has been embarrassed and humbled. Or at least, thrown off their evil corporate game.

And here's what warms our furry little hearts the most: The Republicans just had this weird, creepy convention with ratings that were way down from 2016, which is probably to their advantage since Benedict Donald's speech was completely off the wall. Nevertheless, they left Milwaukee in a buoyant mood, forgetting that it's never a good thing for a Presidential campaign to peak in July. Now, with a new ticket, and new excitement, the Democratic convention will be a must-see. And oh, the love that will be poured over Dark Brandon when he speaks. Mark your calendars for August 19-22. We cats PURR.

Thank You, Joe

 

It's the most selfless act by a President since George Washington's in 1796. Joe Biden is not only a great President and a remarkable man, he's taken the sword completely out of the Republicans' hands. As of today, they're running an old guy who, when he lost in 2020, refused to give up power — and who probably will never relinquish it again if he gets the chance. What a contrast! Now, let's all come together and save our democracy. We cats PURR.

Technical Difficulties Persist

Unless something major happens, we cats anticipate being more offline than on- this weekend. It's not due to the global IT outage — the state of American journalism is making us relapse. Hope to see you soon.

Great Art, Not-So-Great Artist

By Miss Kubelik

Back in May, we cats posted about the loss of writer Alice Munro and all the other nonagenarians who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge lately (just the other day, Dr. Ruth Westheimer joined them). Checking out is ultimately unsurprising when you live to a great age — and unlike us cats, you humans only have one life, not nine. But whether they're famous people in literature, politics, medicine, or entertainment, their deaths do make you pause and reflect.

Since Munro died, though, the literary world has been shaken by her daughter Andrea's revelations of sexual abuse that she had suffered at the hands of Munro's second husband. It's a long, ugly story, but one that was, if we're honest about it, more or less out in the open since 2005, when the husband pleaded guilty to the abuse and was sentenced.

Munro's chief transgression was staying with the abuser until he died in 2013. Her daughter provides more details, a lot of which are pretty excruciating, including Munro's chilly response when she confronted her. But in truth, all the adults in Andrea's life failed her — her mother, her hideous stepfather, her biological father, and her biological father's wife. Everyone. We should all hope that by telling this story, Andrea is well on her way to healing from the trauma.

Meanwhile, how should we think about Munro now? Our bookshelves are full of her work. It will always be there — the writing is too brilliant. We'll just have to approach her differently going forward. Passages that sailed over our heads before might stick some very interesting landings.

So many artists we admire have turned out to be terrible people. If we were to abandon Munro, we'd have to never listen to another song by Richard Rodgers. And that's just not going to happen. We cats PURR.

Her Skivvies Are Showing

By Zamboni

People from Miami will quickly recognize the image that this cartoon plays on. It was drawn by a Nova Scotian, but it's right on. Look at the sneakers, too! Michael de Adder is just brilliant.

Marching orders for the day: Cannon's timing is nakedly political and completely despicable, but let's wait to see what Jack Smith does about all this. It's been posited that this is his opportunity to appeal to the 11th Circuit and ask for a new judge. It's also been alleged over the last few months that Team Smith knows — and, one presumes, was ready to present at trial — Benedict Donald's motive for stealing the classified documents. Can he tell us now? It's terrifying to think that Trump shared our state secrets with foreign powers for money, but what other conclusion is there?

Meanwhile, the other news today is that all Trump needs to do is grab his Sharpie, scratch out the "PE" on his 2020 campaign signs, and scribble in "VA" instead. And gosh, you can hear the GOP VP balloons deflating from here! Doug "Eyebrows" Burgum is so rich that he might not care (although gifted artists like de Adder are probably disappointed). But what about the others?!? Is Baby Marco on the phone with Northern American Van Lines right now, canceling his move out of Florida? Is Tim Scott scuttling the nuptials? Is Nancy Pelosi — oops, we mean Nikki Haley — sorry she released her delegates? Did Glenn Youngkin ever have a chance? And Elsie! WHAT ABOUT ELSIE!?

Stefanik is getting a small speaking role in Milwaukee this week, but it's hardly a substitute for the glories she'd dreamed of. Somehow, we're enjoying her mortification most of all. Poor Elise! "How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful!" We cats PURR.

Le Quatorze Juillet

 

We know we're a day late, and the world appears to have gone mad, but that's no reason not to have had a happy Bastille Day. "The voice of the people cannot be and will not be denied." Back soon. We cats PURR.

Too Soon?

Here's a suggestion from a tweep that we liked: Take the assault weapons ban off the shelf, rename it the "Donald Trump Assassination Prevention Act," and dare Republicans to vote against it. We cats PURR.

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

We cats have been a bit under the weather lately, but hope to return to our regular opining soon. Maybe we should ask Joe Biden for some health advice — he sure killed it in Detroit yesterday. We cats PURR. 

(IMAGE: Doctors do such rude things to you. Sigh.)

Democratic Party, You In Danger, Girl

 

By Baxter

Okay, we cats are the first to admit we're not terribly patient these days. It's probably because after four whole years of dodging it, we've just tested positive for COVID-19. So we're focusing on getting better, but there's something we have to get off our furry chests.

In less-than-elegant language: The carping Democratic electeds (and the white male celebrities who just can't restrain themselves from opining) need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Continuing this destructive drop-out conversation on social media and elsewhere — which stokes an already unprecedented feeding frenzy and undermines our sitting President during a NATO summit — is beyond the pale.

Every political path forward has dangers now, but in our humble opinion, abandoning President Biden is the most perilous. If that happens, the Democrats who came out 14-million-strong to vote in our primaries — most especially our party base, Black women — will walk. The party will collapse, and the country will tip over into the darkness of Trump II. We kid you not. We cats HISS.

Days Of The Jackals

By Sniffles

The New York Times has humiliated itself once again with yesterday's Parkinson's antics. (And the White House press corps didn't distinguish itself, either, but that's a subject for another blog post.)

Walter Reed neurologist Kevin Cannard is a member of the team of specialists who have taken part in Joe Biden's annual physicals for the last three years. As important, he's also a clinical consultant to the White House Medical Unit (WHMU), which serves hundreds of people — including many members of the military assigned to active-duty White House operations — and not, by any means, just the President. 

(We cats have special insight into this basic fact about WHMU because once, back in the day, our human sneezed at his desk in the Old Executive Office Building and soon found himself in Admiral William Lukash's office with a hernia diagnosis. But we digress.)

Dr. Cannard has served in this capacity since around 2012, which means he has come and gone from the White House many times. How ironic that in their irresponsible speculation about Parkinson's, the Times writers didn't cross-check the very visitor logs that served as the source of their reporting to see if President Biden was even in town during each of the doctor's visits since 2021. (Spoiler alert: He wasn't.)

This whole sorry episode is also a reminder that the media never kicked up much of a fuss about Benedict Donald refusing to make visitor logs available to them at all. In short, it's infuriating.

What to do about the Times? Do they understand how awful they've become? In 2003, they printed fake news that helped Bush-Cheney lie the United States into the Iraq war. In 2016, they pounded relentlessly on Hillary Clinton about her emails and let Benedict Donald go scot-free. And now, they're making up stories about Joe Biden when the country is standing on the precipice of autocracy. For us cats, who have read this paper since very early in our nine lives, it's a difficult question.

We've already canceled our print subscription, but that was because of delivery problems. There may come a time when we give up on them digitally, too. Hello, Philadelphia Inquirer? We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The exquisite Edward Fox, who had French President Charles DeGaulle in his sights in this classic assassination thriller from 1973. Spoiler alert #2: Fox dies. DeGaulle lives.)

Meanwhile, The GOP Releases Its MAGA-Only Platform, Confirming That It's Ceased to Exist

By Hubie and Bertie

How interesting that a Republican like Ana Navarro has stepped up as a role model for us all. Perhaps Ana is having an effect. Today, prominent Democrats continued voicing their support of Biden-Harris, even the so-called Squad. (AOC keeps impressing us, by the way.)

Concurrent with all this media madness about President Biden, Project 2025's profile continues to grow, much to Benedict Donald's dismay. He's still trying to obfuscate his most extreme positions, which has not pleased everyone in their ranks. The RNC has left some pro-life Republicans with bad tastes in their mouths — the 2024 platform isn't Gilead-y enough for them. The GOP clearly knows abortion is a fatal issue for them, so the Democrats' job these next few months is to remind voters that no matter what they say, a Republican administration will institute a national abortion ban. End of story.

Our mantra for the rest of the election: First, attack, attack, attack. The American people don't want what Trump and the Republicans are selling, and Democrats need to hammer that relentlessly home. Second, vote, vote, vote. We still get to decide our fate. We cats PURR.

Larry The Cat Gets A New PM To Boss Around

 

Watch for Larry at the start. As he said on Twitter, Labour is giving the people what they want from Day One. We cats PURR.

Hooray — The French Anti-Semites Lost

By Mademoiselle Kubelik

We cats may have been right about French President Emmanuel "Dark Manny" Macron after all. Last month, we speculated that his big gamble in calling for a snap election would pay off in the end. And it appears that it has: In today's runoff, the far right slid to third place, after polls and pundits confidently predicted a big win for them. C'est dommage, mes amis! Perennial candidate Marine Le Pen is fast becoming the Harold Stassen of French politics.

This election comes right on the heels of Labour's enormous victory in the UK on Thursday. Although the prognosticators said Britons were bored and uninspired, it seems that, like the French, more than enough of them turned out to show Rishi Sunak the door. So Keir Starmer becomes the latest Prime Minister to be supervised by Larry the Cat.

What are the takeaways from these two elections? Maybe it's that some (not all, but a lot) of the polls and pundits are wrong. (And maybe the TV gasbags should shut their mouths about the news until it actually happens.) Or perhaps it's that people use surveys, focus groups and first rounds of voting to blow off steam, but when the rubber meets the road — when they're in that polling place, marking that final ballot — they reject far-right fascism, Trumpism, and Putinism. We cats PURR.

Project 2025: It Really Is "World Saved Or World Doomed," Folks

 

By Zamboni

President Biden is campaigning in Pennsylvania today, and he's got the NATO summit starting on Tuesday.  With that and more going on, it would be nice if the pundits would pivot to Republican threats to democracy, both here and around the world, because — despite all the breathless speculation about Capitol Hill meetings today — there are members of Congress who have noticed a yawning gap between what the commentariat thinks is important and what voters care about.

For example, Representative Sean Casten (D-IL) visited his district over July 4 and talked to his constituents. "Lots of them are really nervous about the future of our country right now," he tweeted. "The divisiveness in Washington, but more the reactionary backlash. They can't understand why rights they took for granted are being taken away.

"I kept telling them that reactionaries — by definition — don't attack democracy because their ideas are popular. They attack democracy because a government that reflects majority will opposes their values."

Exactly. And polls and focus groups are starting to show that respondents fundamentally understand what's at stake. (Democrats, you need to listen, and don't go off, shall we say, half-cocked.)

The good news is that Project 2025, the anti-democracy manifesto crafted for the Republicans by the Heritage Foundation, the Koch brothers and Christian nationalists, is getting attention at last — partly thanks to celebrities like Taraji P. Henson, who sounded the alarm at the BET Awards last weekend. (So much attention, in fact, that Trump has been forced to deny he knows anything about it.)

Online searches for Project 2025 have skyrocketed. Here's a handy video with an excerpt from Henson's speech and a concise summary of the manifesto from journalist and CUNY professor Marc Lamont Hill.

Finally, happy birthday to George W. Bush, who was The Worst Person Who Ever Lived until Benedict Donald came along. George Conway had a special message for him: "Could you do the country a big favor and urge it not to elect a certain convicted felon and psychopath whom I assume you detest as much as the rest of us? Thanks in advance!" 

We cats have our paws crossed for the coming week. Meanwhile, we HISS and PURR at the same time.

The Cranky Copywriter Gets It Right

If you're as disgusted with the press as we are, check out this post. We cats couldn't have said it better, and we're not even going to try. You can find more here. We cats PURR.

The Misguided, Malicious Media

What is wrong with America's media? Why are they spending all their time bemoaning President Biden's weak appearance during the debate? Have they forgotten Donald Trump's senility at West Point? Do they not remember all of Trump's grammatical errors, misspeaks, malapropisms, and historical inaccuracies?

Biden may sometimes stutter or lose track of a thought, but all his comments are truthful, all his facts proven. Trump tells a logjam of endless lies, many not even coherent.

Biden's age is not hidden. Trump's is camouflaged under gobs of pancake makeup, hairspray, and who knows what other visual tricks. Keep in mind that it was Trump's botched plastic surgery that incited him to assault his first wife, Ivana, for recommending the surgeon.

If Americans could see Trump in the morning, before his cosmetic rituals, they would be horrified at the pale, overweight, balding, cellulite-corroded creature before them. Biden bicycles, attends rallies, conducts interviews, delivers speeches, and has a sense of humor. Trump watches television, does not read anything not about him, rants, and is devoid of all humor.

Despite all this ammunition against a cruel and unhinged cipher who should not be allowed to run for the world's most important office, the media spend all their energy whining and carping and bitching and nitpicking about an excellent President with decades of service to the American people.

(IMAGE: Donald Trump, the media's darling, with the son whose name he barely knows.)

Mood.

 

"I wouldn't believe he was dead even if I read his obituary." Stand, Old Ivy. Stand firm and strong. We cats PURR.

Happy Independence Day Eve

Dark Brandon has spoken. So we all need to saddle up. Meanwhile, though, there's a holiday to celebrate tomorrow, which means we're going to take the day off and rest up. We may even nap! We cats PURR.

Follow The Money (And What You Can Do Now)

By Baxter

The latest Biden-Harris fundraising totals are out, and they are impressive: $264 million in the second quarter — $127 million in June alone — and more than $33 million in the last four days. (Recall, please, that that $33-million-plus was immediately after the debate that TV talking heads have gotten in such a lather about.) This quarterly amount dwarfs that already pretty substantial $187 million that donors shoveled Biden's way from January through March.

Team Biden also reports that it has $240 million in cash on hand. Which means the next obvious step is for Democrats to start arguing about how that cash should be spent. (We wouldn't be Democrats if we didn't thrash about like that, would we?) But we cats prefer to think about the money another way: That it shows a clear disconnect between the hand-wringing among the media illuminati and folks out there in America. 

Why would 14 million Democrats take the trouble to show up in the primaries and vote for an obvious nominee — their incumbent President — if they weren't solidly behind him? Why would so many people dig into their wallets for him? (Nearly half of the post-debate donors were first-time contributors.) It's time for the pundits to get their heads out of their asses, and if they don't, just turn them off.

Meanwhile, as we ride this wave of good money news, here's our next assignment: Voting On Day One.

Set aside the freakout over last week's debate. Do you know why the Biden campaign pushed for it to be held so soon? Because early voting starts in 10 weeks. Election Day is actually the last opportunity to vote. So the campaign knew they needed to up people's awareness well before early voting began, to reach out and touch our more episodic and less-likely voters. We have the time, the money, and the volunteers to do this. And it will increase our turnout and help us win.

Because the faster our voters vote, the faster our campaigns can take them off their canvass-and-call lists, and move on to others they need to contact, and re-contact, to turn out.

Voting On Day One is a practical and efficient game plan, and it's action we can take now — especially after the Supreme Court's massive assist with its immunity decision. People are rightly upset — Americans don't like kings, you know — and so we have an excellent opportunity to channel their (and our) concerns into decisive action.

So, look up when early voting kicks off in your state — you can start here — and begin reaching out to your friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, and others in your network. LFG! We cats PURR.

Our Other Favorite Take On Today's SCOTUS Decision

 

"May God Preserve Our Democracy"

We've never heard President Biden sign off a statement with that before. Goodness gracious. We cats PURR.

P.S. In the knowledge that humor can help us cope, we have to note that the funniest comment we saw today was "Richard Nixon must be pissed." We cats PURR again.

Happy Canada Day!

Best wishes to the admired-around-the-world democracy that's the True North Strong and Free. We cats PURR.