Hit The Beach On November 8

Mike Luckovich of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution asked the Twitterverse what kind of cartoon he should draw today. We cats voted for this one — and voila! Thanks, Mike. (Meanwhile, deadlines to register to vote are this week in a lot of states. And if you're already registered, double-check that you haven't been tossed off the rolls by democracy-hating Republicans.) We cats PURR.

"Suddenly I've Gone Into Mimeograph"

By Zamboni

Many questions in the air today following last night's drubbing by Tim Ryan of the loathsome J.D. Vance in the Ohio Senate debate. Such as: When will the pundits stop trying to spin Vance's humiliation as something that won't matter? Will the media ever quit trying to stir up Democratic fights by asking Ryan if he wants President Biden to campaign with him? And why did Ryan and Vance both show up in blue suits and red ties?

We don't know the answer to the first question, but it drives us crazy. In what world would an undecided voter tune in to that debate and be impressed with Vance? He looked bewildered at every turn, landed only soft blows on Ryan, and fled the studio instead of showing up at the spin room afterward. Take it from us — if the tables had been turned and Vance had come out with the more-impressive performance, the talking heads would be saying he had the race in the bag.

As for the second question, clearly the answer is no. But Ryan is handling it perfectly well, so we have no problem with it. And you can bet Joe Biden doesn't, either. Biden isn't into slights, which is another reason the media's obsession with the topic is silly.

Finally, about the suits and ties: It sure was weird! But then it occurred to us that Ryan was slyly riffing on the Trumpy look to call attention to Vance's sycophantic imitation of his idol. Still and all, we've had Frank Loesser's song "Paris Original" in our heads ever since. We cats PURR.

How Proud Is Home Depot?

By Baxter

Atlanta held its Pride Festival this weekend, which included a huge parade with nearly every statewide Democratic candidate marching (or, at one point, riding in a classic pink convertible).

No Republicans turned out for the fun. But a few corporations did.

"Atlanta’s business establishment has embraced the three-day event," The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports. "Just about every major Atlanta-based corporation was represented: Coca-Cola, Cox, Delta, Home Depot and UPS each had large contingents."

Hmmm, Home Depot. Didn't we cats recently see a news story about an enormous Home Depot contribution to Herschel Walker's Senate campaign? Like nearly $2 million?

They deny it. "The company has not contributed to [Walker's] campaign," they said in a statement. "The contribution was from our co-founder Bernie Marcus, who left Home Depot more than 20 years ago."

Hmmm, again. As a follow-up, people are asking Home Depot how many shares of stock Marcus still owns. No response yet.

It's pretty neat that Home Depot is being put on the spot about this, but still — it sounds like they're trying to have it both ways on gay rights. Journalists shouldn't let them wriggle out of it. We cats HISS.

P.S. You can donate to Senator Raphael Warnock's campaign here.

Nobody Said They Were Smart

 

PS: Internal polling is showing this Trumpy idiot in a statistical dead heat with her Democratic challenger, Adam Frisch. We cats PURR.

The COVID Factor

By Sniffles

Many times over the last two and a half years, we cats have speculated that Republican voters were committing suicide at a rate that would drive down their turnout at the polls. Generally, if you're a Trumpster who refused to get vaccinated or wear a mask, and you're dead from COVID, you can't vote. But our assumptions were all pretty anecdotal, based on what we were hearing about pandemic politics.

Now, three researchers from Yale have published a paper proving it.

"Political affiliation has emerged as a potential risk factor for COVID-19, amid evidence that Republican-leaning counties [in Florida and Ohio] have had higher COVID deaths than Democratic-leaning counties and evidence of a link between political party affiliation and vaccination views," they say.

The difference between this and various and sundry anecdotal observations? The Yale abstract is a peer-reviewed study. It's not some cable-news talking head speculating — these dudes are experts proving what we all suspected we knew.

Will it make a difference in November? It's unclear, but it can't hurt. And it might be just another reason that the 2022 midterms may not follow historical trends (i.e., in which the incumbent President's party gets its ass kicked). We cats PURR.

Another October Surprise

By Hubie and Bertie

First, it should probably be said that Dark Brandon's federal mass pardon for marijuana possession today is the just and right thing to do. It's never been fair that some folks, usually people of color, have been languishing in jail for a minor offense that several states have already legalized. (We could add, "while white-collar criminals like Benedict Donald continue to roam free," etc. But we digress.)

Second, though, politically, it's delicious. Legalizing marijuana is very popular in red states like Alaska, Kansas and Georgia, but despite that, Republicans in charge have led the fight against it — hoping no one would really notice. Now, thanks to Biden, they'll be forced off their precarious perch.

"Biden’s actions...do not directly affect the vast majority of marijuana-related convictions, which are pursued under state law," The Washington Post explains. "Biden administration officials said the President would use his action to encourage state governors to offer mass pardons under their own authority." HAHAHAHAHAHA!

It also will guarantee that Republican leaders will piss off half of their base — either the nutjob religious freaks who are anti-weed, or the libertarian, Trumpy biker types who smoke it. (Think of the dude in the "True Florida Cracker — Endangered Species" T-shirt who cheerfully chatted up Biden in yesterday's pouty DeSantis photo: Yep, that guy's a canibisseur for sure.)

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. has been in public office nearly as long as the War on Drugs has existed. And while he's always had a reputation as a centrist, it seems pretty clear that now that he's realized his lifelong dream, he's gone whole-hog progressive on us. He's 79. He's President. He must have said to himself, screw it — I'm gonna be the most lefty POTUS ever. We cats PURR.

Picture, Thousand Words, Etc.

By Miss Kubelik

Dark Brandon appeared relaxed and in his element today as he visited Ian-ravaged southwest Florida, joshing expletive-ly with the mayor of Fort Myers Beach and heaping what must have been maddening words of praise on the always-repulsive Ron DeSantis.

DeSantis must have found it doubly frustrating that he had to say nice things in response: "Mr. President, welcome to Florida. We appreciate working across all the various levels of government." However, DeSantis did not trouble himself to personally greet Biden at the airport when he landed. Typical and petulant.

Yes, the press makes way too much of political cat fights when hundreds of Floridians may be dead from Ian — complete numbers aren't in yet. But we sure love it when photojournalists capture images like the one above, especially when they come hard on the heels (ha, ha) of Ronnie in his adorable Nancy Sinatra boots. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Evan Vucci, Associated Press)

It Is Time For Them To Go-Go

By Zamboni

As our headline paraphrases Al Gore at the 1992 Democratic convention, let's observe that execrable Florida Governor Ron DeSantis should remember what happened to a couple of politicians from around that same time: George H.W. Bush and Michael Dukakis.

Democratic nominee Dukakis torched a 17-point lead in 1988 by, among other things, donning a helmet and riding around in a tank. You've all seen the photo. It invited ridicule — the death knell of all Presidential wannabes. (And yes, Bernard Shaw's rape-death-penalty question in that one debate didn't help. But Shaw is dead now, and Dukakis is still alive and at large.)

Four years later, Hurricane Andrew tore through South Florida, and the administration of then-President Bush Senior didn't, um, perform very well. We don't remember Bush showing up anywhere in white boots, but he seemed inattentive, and FEMA was slow and clunky. (And that was before Bush Junior screwed up Katrina.) Anyway, Bush Senior lost re-election to Bill Clinton a few months later. 

So here is Ron DeSantis in 2022, five weeks out from a match-up with former Governor Charlie Crist, and Presidential ambitions galore. And his disastrous post-Ian appearance in Fort Myers Beach strutting in his pristine booties may have just landed him in Dukakis territory.

Funny, you'd think that reports about a bad recovery response, and the fact that DeSantis paused aid from going to hurricane victims so he could get his white-boot photo op, would sink him faster. But whatever. Charlie Crist, the ball's in your court. We cats PURR.

Taking The Day

We cats are feeling a little under the weather, so we're resting up a bit before we blog again. But we promise it won't be long. Not-great things are happening for Republicans, like a hurricane that's spiked the crime rate in Southwest Florida, a Senate candidate who's been outed as a puppy killer, and another who paid for a girlfriend's abortion (he's anti-choice, of course). Lots to talk about! See you soon. We cats PURR.

Best Birthday Wishes

Ninety-eight? Really? The amazing Jimmy Carter just keeps chugging along. We send our warmest regards of the day — and since he never fails to credit his life partner and fellow humanitarian Rosalynn as the secret to his success, here they are together. We cats PURR.