Brady Bill 20, And A Tale Of Two States

By Zamboni

We cats are excited and somewhat smug about the recent political happenings in Virginia. It's been great to see Democrats sweep all three statewide races, and to watch Richmond Republicans squirm and whine and bleat about stuff like marriage equality. (Always, always citing ancient polls about "the will of the people." Silly!)

But every now and then — like, for example, on this 20th anniversary of the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act — we look across the border at the great state of Maryland and think, sigh.

Why? Well, check out this video for the Brian Frosh for Attorney General campaign. Maryland is a state in which enhancing gun safety is a good thing. And a state in which you can run an ad featuring two concerned moms because that's the kind of message that will resonate with voters.

Meanwhile, what's going on here in Virginia? Well, Ken "The Only Thing That Can Stop An Abortion Is A Fetus With A Gun" Cuccinelli has just hung out a new shingle for a defend-the-Second-Amendment law firm — because, don'tcha know, gun rights are under attack! (Yeah, just like all those Christians in Arizona were — not.)

We cats are pretty bored with all these teabaggers and right wingers who are feeling so aggrieved — and it's not even time for CPAC yet! In the meantime, if you'd like to learn more about Brian Frosh, click here.

Bad Drivers

By Sniffles

We cats used to ride to the vet in the back seat of a PT Cruiser Woody. While we never cared much for our outings to the doctor, we understood that our humans enjoyed the Woody, and took very good care of it for many years.

So we're sorry to report that a little over a week ago, some jackass hit our humans' Woody head-on and destroyed it. We weren't in the car at the time, and everyone is okay. But Woody is a total loss.

So, yes, we care about David Jolly's 1989 accident, in which he was the driver of a car that killed a pedestrian in Florida. Having just seen how disruptive the loss of property from a careless person can be, we can't imagine how a family suffering from a fatality like the one Jolly inflicted must feel.

(And please, don't even try to bring up Chappaquiddick. We cats supported President Carter.)

So if you want to send Alex Sink some support in her Congressional race against David Jolly, click here. If you want to know how F. Scott Fitzgerald described people like David Jolly, here it is:

"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back to their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they made..."

Note To Ken Mehlman: Have You Called Jan Brewer Yet?

By Baxter

Another day, another domino falls. This time, it's the Lone Star State that's seen its ban on same-sex marriage declared unconstitutional. Yee-hah!

We cats are highly amused. Because once again, the sputtering homophobes of the right are citing ancient election results to claim that the judges are out of line. "It is not the role of the federal government to overturn the will of our citizens," Governor Rick Perry whined today.

Hey, Rick — that vote was 11 years ago! The world has changed mightily since then. Even Texas. In fact, especially Texas.

Meanwhile, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is continuing her charade of "deciding" whether she's going to sign SB 1062 and let businesspeople refuse service to folks who are light in the loafers. (Would that include shoe salesmen? Just wondering.)

We cats don't understand why Brewer wouldn't have immediately said the bill was toast. Why does she need major corporations, her party's 2012 nominee, her state's two US Senators, the NFL, and countless others to whisper, um, Jan, this bill is a bad, bad idea? It is truly silly.

On that note, here's a scenario for you: What happens if Jan signs SB 1062 into law — and a gay wedding planner goes to a florist, caterer, printer or gift-bag emporium to order goodies because he or she is coordinating nuptials for a churchgoing straight couple who are close personal friends of, say, the Goldwater family? Or the O'Connor family? Or the McCain family? Does the business get to throw the gay planner out, even though the event is for heterosexuals?

There are a lot of "what ifs" flying around as we wait for Governor Finger In Your Face to make her "decision." But we cats still think she'll veto. After all, when it comes down to mission versus money, money always wins.

(PHOTO: Tucson Sentinel)

UPDATE, 8:10 PM: Governor Finger In Your Face has vetoed SB 1062. Gee, Arizona and Texas, both within 24 hours? Bad day for the haters. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Now, THAT Was Blackmail

By Miss Kueblik

Rumors are flying that Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will bow to pressure and veto that appalling "yes-you-can-discrimate-because-you-think-Jesus-says-so" bill that's sitting on her desk.

Which, if true, would be welcome news to us. If you don't want to serve all members of the public, you shouldn't be in business in the first place. And how can a florist or a restaurant or a hotel or a clothing store tell for sure that someone is gay? We're still waiting to hear.

Meanwhile, though, the teabagger nutcases over at Free Republic are already screaming for Brewer's head. What about property rights? What about freedom of association? This is economic blackmail! Extortion! Political correctness! Golden calves! (What?)

We cats say, calm down, little Freepers. Brewer hasn't vetoed it yet. But if you're feeling mighty put upon by the arc of history bending a bit more toward justice — and by the ultimatums that corporate giants like Southwest Airlines, Apple, Intel and PetSmart (yay, PetSmart!) are close to declaring — just imagine how we felt back in 2004 when the Republican Party had a single message: Vote Democratic and you'll die.

Somehow, threatening terror attacks because John Kerry allegedly couldn't be trusted to keep America safe seems a little more extreme than rightly exercising the power of the purse — yes? We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: The Worst Person Who's Ever Lived rides to victory on terror scares and homophobia. We sure don't miss those days.)

Extraordinary Badness

By Zamboni

Losing Harold Ramis today was, in one of his favorite "Ghostbusters" expressions, "extraordinarily bad."

What a coincidence that today's political scene could also be described that way. While we usually choose to indulge in Cheshire cat grins over right-wing Republican foolishness — knowing that it hurts them far more than anyone else — let's review some of the truly, incredibly, outrageously awful stuff we've been seeing lately.

Ted Nugent, whom we would post about a lot more but don't because we don't want to give him more publicity, is out with the Hitler analogies again. This is extraordinarily good for Wendy Davis— but for Greg Abbott, who is campaigning with this nutcase, extraordinarily bad.

Chris Christie's new habit of dodging the press — most evident on his recent RGA road trip — is lame, pathetic, immature and, for his future political aspirations, extraordinarily bad. When will the Republicans wake up and boot him out of that chairmanship? Bobby Jindal and Scott Walker and Mike Pence and John Kasich and Jeb Bush want to know.

A bill to allow Arizona businesses to blatantly discriminate against gay people is heading for Governor Jan Brewer's desk. We cats think she will not sign it, but it's amazing that it's even gotten this far. And in the meantime, John McCain is urging her to veto it — which will guarantee him a teabagger challenge if he runs again in 2016. For Democrats, that's good — but for McCain, extraordinarily bad.

Viktor Yanukovych's taste in interior decoration is extraordinarily bad.

Finally, an anti-choice Republican state senator here in Virginia has amended a Facebook post in which he referred to a pregnant woman as a fetus's "host." We cats think that this person is a jackass, and personifies the entire Republican Party's attitude toward women. And were it not for the amusing fact that the senator's name is Steve Martin, we'd call him extraordinarily bad.

Suddenly, Loretta Young Is Going To Be The Next President Of Ukraine

By Sniffles

Okay, it's the blonde braid — and we cats realize we're being terribly superficial about history in the making. But ever since we saw Yulia Tymoshenko's moving speech to the Ukrainian protesters in Independence Square, we haven't been able to get "The Farmer's Daughter" out of our minds.

Please don't, however, assume that we're making fun of what's happening in Kiev. We think it's fabulous. Here's why:

John McCain, as usual, jumped the gun and went way over the top in his language — right before President Obama called Vlad Pootie and an agreement to stop the violence was signed. Hey, John! We are all Ukrainians now!

The anti-government protesters swarmed over ousted Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych's tacky, Alpine-themed residence outside Kiev — but didn't loot or do anything destructive. (Good, because we cats were worried about the animals in Yanukovych's personal zoo, who haven't done anything bad to anybody.)

So, long story short: Vlad's puppet president has been impeached and has run far, far away — just as the entire world is watching, because Vlad's stupid anti-gay Olympics are about to end. We can't think of a more humiliating end to that sorry spectacle (except perhaps for Team USA's loss to Finland in hockey today.... 5-zip, ouch). Aside from that, we cats PURR.

True Patriot (Or Whatever Kind Of) Love

By Baxter

We cats are good sports, which means that we congratulate our Canadian friends on their hockey victory today at the winter Olympic games that we're not watching.

And on that note: This video is the best snappy answer to the ever-vile Vladimir Putin (who, by the way, kind of took it on the chin on the Ukraine today) — and from the Canadian Institute of Diversity, no less!

Oh, Canada, please stay as sweet as you are. We cats PURR.

Signs Of Distress

By Miss Kubelik

Once again, the Republican establishment (with the Beltway media obediently following behind) seems to be playing Round Robin for the next Presidential race. It's deja vu all over again: Remember 2011-2012, when the GOP was frantically trying to figure out if they could possibly not nominate Willard Romney? We all know how that turned out.

Today, with Chris Christie embroiled in an ever-expanding scandal, Scott Walker, the cross-eyed hater of workers and women from Wisconsin, was deemed to be rising in the 2016 ranks. And now look: E-mailgate!

We cats can't figure out why in the world either man was considered a possibility in the first place. Christie is hatehatehated by the teabag Republican base, and Walker is just — well, to borrow a phrase, dumber than a box of rocks.

But never mind — the important thing is that, with Walker off his very temporary Number-One perch, the GOP will have to endure more rounds in the ever-fun game of Who Will Lose To Hillary '16.

And when will they start returning to former Number Ones? Like Baby Marco Rubio, who is trying so very hard to scramble back? And Ted Cruz, who refuses to go away? And Bobby Jindal, with his recent, repulsive war-on-religion speech? Brace yourselves, folks: Those unlovely faces will soon return to our newspaper front pages and computer screens.

We'll give the hapless Republican Party no help here. But we're just wondering how, and how quickly, whoever they nominate next time will have to embrace Ted Nugent. He's a problem that we Democrats are very proud not to have.

Russia Plays Bad, Vlad's Sad

By Zamboni

This is not a hockey blog, and we cats are definitely boycotting the Vladimir Putin Olympics — but we've heard something wonderful through the grapevine, and we just have to don our Cheshire cat grins about it.

Vlad Pootie's men's hockey team has been flayed by the Finns, losing 3-1 today in what's being called a "humiliating ending" to their 2014 games. Hooray!

You know, even with the knowledge that many a fascist has been associated with the Olympics over the years (Juan Antonio Samaranch and Avery Brundage come to mind), it's always interesting to see an authoritarian try to politicize things when they host. Because they usually get surprised.

Aryan supremacist Adolf Hitler was proven wrong by Jesse Owens in 1936. And now Pootie has been bedeviled not only by the warm Sochi weather, the violence in Kiev, his abuse of Pussy Riot, ad nauseum — but, today, thanks to the small country that the USSR attacked in 1939, his precious men's hockey team bit the dust. Revenge is sweet.

Our humble opinion: Democracies that host the games often do a much better job of winning there. Squaw Valley in 1960 and Lake Placid in 1980 are good examples of US-sited Olympics in which Americans excelled. And because we cats are extremely fair, we must acknowledge that Stephen Harper — of whom we are not fans — has found success with Own The Podium. In Vancouver four years ago, Canada finished with 26 medals — the most won by a host country since 2002.

Now, that probably has nothing to do with anything, but we'll take it. As long we can box Vlad Pootie's ears and say, "Nanny nanny boo-boo on you, you creepy totalitarian homophobe," we're happy. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Bummed-out Russian fans with lots of sorrows to drown. Break out the vodka! Photo by Reuters.)

Would Alf Landon Recognize His GOP Today?

By Sniffles

It is super-interesting that right-wing nutcases in right-wing-nutcase Kansas have helped scuttle a bill that would have allowed businesses to discriminate against gays.

We cats never think of Republican legislators in the Sunflower State as lunch-counter-sit-in types. But that's exactly what they are — since this horrid bill would have been the 2014 gay equivalent of denying deli service to black people at Woolworth's.

Even the off-the-charts right-wing chairman of the state house's Judiciary Committee recognized that. "We need razor precision in the language of the bill as to what religious liberties we're trying to protect and how we protect them in a nondiscriminatory manner," he said.

Hm. Like the ACLU, we cats welcome conservatives' sudden epiphany on discrimination. But we're unimpressed by the whole religious-liberty thing. We are tired of people cloaking their fear, hatred and loathing in Jesus. (And we bet Jesus is tired of it, too.)

We also can't help but shake our furry heads over the irony. The homophobes and teabaggers have always railed over homosexuals demanding "special rights." But by crafting bills that would let caterers, photographers, florists and God knows what other businesses refuse gay people their services, we wonder who's asking for those "special rights" now. And we HISS.

Memo To Gay Marriage Foes: The Clock Is Ticking

By Baxter

There aren't many people funnier than the late Sid Caesar and his "Show of Shows" comedy troupe, but we cats think that the right wingers reacting to Judge Arenda Wright Allen's ruling on Virginia's same-sex marriage ban come pretty close.

Oh, are they upset. A teabagger delegate from our very own Prince William County is calling for Judge Wright Allen's impeachment, in fact. The so-called reasoning: Wright Allen is a lefty wacko, a traitorous (gasp!) Obama appointee whose perfidy was, in retrospect, entirely predictable. All this outraged sputtering about a deeply religious woman who was confirmed by the Senate by a vote of 96-0. Hm.

We cats are just wondering, if Judge Wright Allen is such a radical-liberal zealot, why did she immediately issue a stay on her ruling pending further appeals?

Hint: That's a rhetorical question. We indeed know why. Sure, politically, Judge Wright Allen wanted to avoid another Utah — and the confusion that has reigned there since its marriage ban was tossed. But over and above that, she was trying to be equitable with everybody: the litigants (even the homophobes and the teabaggers), the LGBT community, our county clerks... you get the idea.

In short, Judge Wright Allen realizes that there's a process here, and the sun does not rise and set on her decision. Dare we say she's fair and balanced? We cats PURR.

Yes, Virginia, This IS A Smile

"I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others." 

—Mildred Loving, 2007

Republican Governors Just Can't Get This "Snow" Thing Right (Especially Tom Corbett)

By Miss Kubelik

We cats thought it was pretty, shall we say, stupid of Republican Governor Pat McCrory to tell North Carolinians not to "put [their] stupid hats on" over Winter Storm Pax.

We realize that the Tarheel State isn't used to snowy weather. But to basically insult your constituents as they're struggling home in a blizzard and suffering in stuck cars is truly bad form. But then, Republicans don't like most people very much, do they?

But before we could give McCrory the Katrina Award of February 2014, we learned that the hapless Tom Corbett has screwed up again: A huge pileup of 50 to 100 cars has closed the Pennsylvania Turnpike. "I think everybody sort of realizes that this is going to be an all-day affair," says one witness who is himself trapped in the jam. "I don't think I'll be making it home for dinner."

Goodness gracious, weren't the roads treated? After all, this isn't the South we're talking about. But as we've pointed out before, Tom Corbett not only doesn't care about the rights of his female and minority constituents — he isn't big on the safety of Pennsylvania drivers, either.

We cats HISS at these silly Republicans. But we also PURR in the direction of Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe — a Democrat who got it right. Our roads in the Old Dominion are clear. Thanks, Terry!

UPDATE: Ahhh, mystery solved. It appears that Pennsylvania officials lifted winter-storm speed restrictions at 6 AM on Friday. Can't have Big Gummint telling our drivers what to do, you know!

Cat Fight! Rand And The Cootch vs. Bruce Fein

By Zamboni

Wow! There's nothing we cats like better than a bunch of Republicans at each other's throats, but this Paul-Cootch-Fein spat is mighty, well, fine.

Seems that Rand Paul and Ken "If Fetuses Had Cellphones, The Government Would Spy On Them, Too" Cuccinelli have made a total, permanent enemy of Bruce Fein — a nutty, right-wing, Obama-hating Republican lawyer — by booting him off Randie's NSA-surveillance lawsuit, and by simultaneously plagiarizing all the work that Brucie's already done on the case. Well done, boys!

(Now, we cats want to know why Brucie employs his ex-wife as his spokesperson. But not until we send a quick PURR in her direction for calling Cuccinelli "dumber than a box of rocks.")

Plenty of respected commentators have openly speculated on Randie's motives in all this, and we agree that it's pretty darn clear. But what about the Cootch? What's in it for him?

Easy. We're talking about a teabag mental case who, before he lost last year's gubernatorial race to Terry McAuliffe, was actually visiting — hang onto your hats — Iowa. Now, his guv hopes dashed (and he still hasn't called Terry to concede, either), Cootchy obviously wants to be Attorney General in the Paul Administration. Hey, if Alberto Gonzales could be AG, why can't the Cootch? Alberto is dumber than two boxes of rocks.

Or Vice President! Maybe Cootchy is telling Rand he'll be the perfect running mate. We can hear him now: "Pick me, Rand, and I'll deliver Virginia for you."

Just like Paul Ryan delivered Wisconsin? We cats PURR.

No Mister Bluebird

By Sniffles

Ted Cruz's silly theatrics over on the Senate side today had everyone briefly reaching for their smelling salts on the debt ceiling vote — accent on "briefly." In the end, 67 Senators voted "aye" and restored a teeny semblance of sanity to the federal government. But they also temporarily obscured the drama that happened yesterday in the House.

So let's quickly revisit that before we all get buried in the snow.

Some in Pundit World were spinning John Boehner's clean-debt-ceiling-bill as a take-charge, heck-with-the-Hastert-rule victory for him (even as the Freepers and other right-wing nuts predictably exploded in rage). But we cats think it was more a case of cracks in the veneer than crack-the-whip.

Why? Because what a difference a day makes. As late as Monday, House Republicans were saying they could tie the debt ceiling to restoring the military pensions cut by Ryan-Murray. But even with that politically popular goal — how can you be against our brave men and women in uniform? — Boehner and his "leadership team" couldn't pull it off. They had to turn to Democrats to force a clean bill and save the country from chaos.

To add insult to Boehner's injury, only four members of that team supported the clean bill. Even the woman who gave the official Republican response to the State of the Union voted no. We cats can only assume that Cathy McMorris Rodgers knew she'd suffer no consequences for that. Which says to us that Boehner's GOP is still, and ever will be, a caucus out of control.

As we and others suspect, this Speaker's days of "polite golf claps" are most likely numbered. Which probably wouldn't bother him at all. We've long thought that he'd like nothing better than to retire to a corner table with an ashtray and a glass of Merlot. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, ya'll.

UPDATE: Glorioski, the ever-lame Cillizza lad  took four days to catch up with us on this notion. Maybe The Washington Post should hire us cats.

Dreams

 By Baxter

As Washington prepares for another blast of winter, it is also remembering a snowy evening 50 years ago when four lads from Liverpool took the city — well, by storm.

We cats are charmed by the memories. But for us, all the Beatles milestones are tainted by the fact that one of them was long ago lost to us — thanks to a mentally ill person who had a gun.

We'll never be without people like Mark Chapman. But wouldn't it be nice if we were without the guns?

Bailout: 1. Medicaid: 0. Uninsured Patients and Families: Minus Zero.

By Miss Kubelik

While the political world is ridiculously roiled by another tweak to the healthcare law, let us all contemplate the Republicans' latest breathtaking hypocrisy on the Affordable Care Act.

Of what do we cats speak? Merely that Republicans in two of the poorest, unhealthiest states — Mississippi and Georgia, where infant and maternal mortality rates are shockingly high — are now considering bailing out state hospitals that are slammed with nonpaying patients but which, thanks to the GOP, are starved at the same time of free Medicaid-expansion money from Washington.

Got that? It would be terrible, awful, coddling and un-American to accept Medicaid funds under the ACA — so terrible that Republicans are willing to resort to that hated of all financial moves, a bailout!

The extent to which the Obama haters will bend themselves into pretzels, simply to avoid complying with the ACA even the teeniest, tinsiest bit, continues to amaze. In fact, it is obscene. We cats HISS.

Perfect. Timing.

By Zamboni

The only thing more elegant about Eric Holder's appearance at last night's Human Rights Campaign dinner was his sense of timing.

Just as the gay-hating Vlad Pootie Olympics get underway in Russia, Attorney General Holder steps up to the mike and announces new federal protections for same-sex couples in the United States.

Yes, we know that the HRC's New York event was scheduled a long time ago — but the contrast is still fun and delicious. We'll take a country whose federal government recognizes the equality and dignity of heterosexuals and homosexuals over one that, well, doesn't. (A nice stick in the eye to Vlad and his new best friend, Ed Snowden.)

And while Log Cabin Republicans send "yes-we-know-you're-dead-but-happy-birthday-anyway" wishes to a President who ignored AIDS for years, we wonder if other prominent light-loafer members of the GOP will break their silence, "come out" and admit the error of their ways.

We cats are proud to be American. We applaud General Holder and score him a perfect 10. And we PURR.

Before "The Miracle On Ice," There Was This

By Sniffles

We cats are continuing our Sochi Olympics boycott with great pride — although we have to admit we did see a Schadenfreude-y headline about a glitch at the opening ceremonies. Yay!

Meanwhile, pissed-off at Russia as we are, we'd like to take this opportunity to revisit the times that Russian Teams Were Duly Squished.

Most Americans would point to the 1980 "Miracle on Ice," when Team USA defeated the former Soviet Union in the winter Olympics at Lake Placid. Now, we cats think that's just swell. (And oh, by the way, New York is one of the most gorgeous states in the union, and you all should either visit it, or start a business there, soon.)

But before the US humiliated the Russians 34 years ago, Canadians did the very same in 1972.

It was the Summit Series — one in which the Canadian hockey players were immediately assumed to prevail. When the Soviets proved to be far harder to beat than anyone expected, our Neighbors To The North dug deep — and won.

Americans never notice anything that happens in Canada, you know. So as the athletes start competing in Vladimir Putin's joke Olympics in Sochi, we cats would like to remind them: There's a major democracy that is not only friendly to gays, but which, back in 1972, kicked Vlad Pootie's then-19-year-old butt. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Paul Henderson scores the game-winning goal against the CCCP. This is one of the most famous photographs in Canadian history. If you hate Vladimir Putin like we do, enjoy.)

Sochi: An Olympic-Sized Waste Of Time

By Baxter

Well, with the inane "Sochi Olympics" coverage set to start tonight, we cats are ready: Since our TV will be off, how many of the classics can we read over the next few weeks?

Because, really, why bother with this ridiculous spectacle? As our faithful readers know, we hate the Olympics anyway. But add the fact that these will be Vlad Pootie's Olympics — Vlad Pootie, who hates on gays and imprisons Pussy Rioters, who loves Bashar al-Assad, and who, now, shoots stray dogs — and we're entering Total Boycott Mode.

(No NHL during Sochi, either. Could our outrage be any more complete? Bring out the comic books!)

And we haven't even gotten to the bit about the exploding toothpaste. We cats don't wish terror attacks on anybody, and it's completely beyond us why anyone would travel on potentially bomb-laden jetliners to a godforsaken part of the world to stay in an unfinished hotel to see athletes (at least, figure skaters) compete in fixed competitions — unless they were being paid to do it.

Which brings us to Matt Lauer. Ugh. 'Nuff said. We cats HISS.

Knee-Jerk Jerks

By Miss Kubelik

Okay, we cats have been pretty patient with all the nonsense that's swirled around the Affordable Care Act for the last few months. But we really have to draw the line over yesterday's report from the Congressional Budget Office. Aided and abetted by some stupid headlines and the right-wing echo chamber, the world had kittens over it for absolutely no reason.

Two million jobs! Obamacare is killing two million jobs! Man the barricades!

Sorry, everybody, but what the CBO was really saying was this: "The ACA will reduce the total number of hours worked, on net, by about 1.5 percent to 2.0 percent during the period from 2017 to 2024, almost entirely because workers will choose to supply less labor given the new taxes and other incentives they will face and the financial benefits some will receive." (Emphasis ours.)

Got that? It means that Americans will no longer have to take crummy low-wage jobs — or other jobs they're not interested in — just to get health insurance. Because they'll have coverage through Obamacare.

Sheesh. What a freaking circus. We cats realize that Medicare had a difficult rollout, too — but it least it didn't have to take place in a climate of never-ending hysteria created by teabaggers and fueled by social media. (And lest you assume we're letting the Administration off scot-free, think again: Lies like this wouldn't gain traction nearly as easily if Team Obama had kept selling the ACA the moment it was enacted.)

As for the Republicans, they'd best give it up. Obamacare is here to stay, no matter how much the GOP pines for the time when 45 millions Americans were uninsured, dying in emergency rooms, and costing the country a fortune. Those were the good old days? We cats HISS.

UPDATE: Finally, the pathetic press has caught up with the real story. The Washington Post has just realized that Americans no longer have to work in dead-end positions because they need the health coverage. "It was wonderful," says Polly Lower, 56, of quitting a job she hated. "It was very freeing." We cats PURR.

We'd Like To Teach The World To Sing — And Allen West To Shut Up

By Zamboni

Here's another one of those gentle, feel-good Super Bowl commercials that aired on Sunday — and which the right wing is hating on big time. (We cats thank an intrepid reader for reminding us that this kerfuffle was in the midst of — well, kerfuffling.)

Like so much of their raving, the fact that conservatives are going after this ad makes no sense. Unless Allen West and Todd Starnes (who?) are members of the ethnic group saluted in another recent, great spot, they and their families also Came Here From Somewhere Else. (Just like us cats — whose grandkitties, although they were native English speakers, lived and worked in the US but never became citizens.)

But ohhhh, we get it: It's the language thing that's bugging them! We urge these right-wing mental cases to lighten up, since so many of them, um, don't speak English so good, either.

And Millions Of Americans Are Getting Health Coverage, Too!

By Sniffles

Remember when the right wing used to say that America was better — more moral — with Bill Clinton out of the White House?

We cats say: Turnabout is fair play. So we're perfectly happy to take credit for yesterday's gentler, more diverse, less-vulgar Super Bowl commercials.

Puppies and Clydesdales, expectant biracial families, happy ketchup, car engineers sprouting angel wings — those are the love-your-neighbor, feel-good ads we see in the age of Obama. (Heck, even Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" happened on the Republicans' watch.)

It's classic Frank Capra: When the Dick Cheneys of the world are in charge, life is Pottersville. When they aren't, it's Bedford Falls. We cats PURR.

Just In Time For The Stupid Bowl

Washington's football team won't be playing tomorrow, of course — and for a lot of reasons, they don't deserve to.

(Meanwhile, we cats want to meet that sexy Sioux guy on horseback. Meow, purr!)

Slavery Could End In Maryland Soon

By Baxter

Yep, for sure! Maryland State Senator Brian Frosh (D-Montgomery) has introduced a bill to officially rescind the so-called Corwin amendment to the U.S. Constitution — proposed back in 1861 as a way for Southern and border states to keep slavery without having to leave the Union.

Ultimately, the amendment didn't go anywhere, and we all know what happened next: Fort Sumter, 600,000 Americans killed, Reconstruction, Scarlett O'Hara. But four states ratified it: Kentucky, Ohio, Illinois and (drum roll) Maryland. We cats commend Senator Frosh for his commitment to bringing the Old Line State into line.

On this hopeful note — and having just opined on the silly faux outrage in the GOP over an MSNBC-Cheerios tweet — we cats just had to beam over to our favorite corner of right-wing cyberspace, Free Republic. We wanted to see if they were up to speed on the Corwin amendment — and how they feel in general about the whole Late Unpleasantness.

Our report: While they haven't quite caught up with Corwin, the Freepers are weighing in big-time on the Civil War, slavery, black people and what-not:

"What a better world this would be if the South succession [sic] had been a [sic] achieved permanently."

That pretty much sums up the right wing — morally, politically and grammatically. We cats HISS.