Headlines

By Baxter

Gee, check this out: "Rep. Greg Walden, the House Republican campaign chief, is ruling out the possibility that a wave election this fall could wipe out the GOP's historic majority and hand Democrats control of the chamber."

Do you know what Republicans last summer were expecting today's headline to be? "GOP Aims To Grow House Majority Another 5-10 Seats." We're playing offense! Democrats are reeling! Retirements, retirements, retirements!

And now, here we are: presuming Republican losses. Maybe big Republican losses. We cats like the way this is trending, and we PURR.

She Just Wants To Sing

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are the first to admit that we can't bear the thought of watching Carly Fiorina sing to Ted Cruz's daughters. We can only hope that Ted Cruz's daughters found the idea as distasteful as we do.

We'd also like to remind Ms. Fiorina, who never seems to excel at anything she does, that singing is nothing original in politics. Back in 1976, Canada's first lady, Margaret Trudeau, sang a song she composed to the first lady of Venezuela, Blanca Maria Rodriguez de Perez, at an official dinner. It didn't go over well.

Now, um: Margaret Trudeau was very young at the time, and surely suffering from undiagnosed bipolar disorder, so we blame her a heck of a lot less than we blame Carly Fiorina. And we'd advise Carly to stick with her day job — except for the fact that Hewlett-Packard fired her from it! We cats PURR.

You Can't Report The News If You're Dying To Make It

By Zamboni

Oh, gawwwwddddd.... this is our least favorite time of year. Why? Because it's the season of the White House Correspondents' Dinner, which always seems to re-loom way too quickly, and which will be held on Saturday night.

We cats will be elsewhere, and you can bet on it. We hate, hate, hate this stupid event, which you probably know because we bitch about it annually.

Two recent articles in The Washington Post have reminded us why we so loathe the WHCD. First was this little gem about how Lally Weymouth, who as Katharine Graham's daughter should have known better, invited Donald Trump to be a guest at the Post's table in 2011.

Did President Obama memorably skewer Trump that year? You betcha. But we still cringe at the thought of a major newspaper giving cover to a bigoted birther, which is essentially what Weymouth did. Sorry, Lally, but there's a real disgusting conflict there, and it makes us want to hack up a hairball.

The other was this gushy item in the Post's Style section about the giant faux "yearbook" that the Independent Journal Review (whoever the hell they are) has created as the most-sought-after WHCD 2016 party favor.

Please — can somebody tell us exactly when being a reporter became all about the reporter and not about the story? Because this is not how we've understood the nature of journalism, and we think that the reporters who toil anonymously (and put their lives in danger doing it) in war zones and other unpleasant places must find this Beltway narcissism sickening. We certainly do.

Do we want to see President Obama's last comedy schtick? Well, sure, but that's what C-SPAN is for. In the meantime, we dump our dirty litter boxes in the lap of whoever had the idea to make the WHCD a combination of the Oscars, the 1972 Republican National Convention and a Vanity Fair after-party. It reinforces all the negatives that mainstream America feels about Washington politics and journalism, and it makes us ill. We cats HISS.

And Of Course We Want To Know...

By Sniffles

...how Jewish Republicans feel about all this Donald Trump "America First" stuff. "I like the expression," Trump said.

So back we go to World War II, and another obscene borrowing of a phrase. But at least it gives us a history lesson — and the opportunity to remember the racism and anti-Semitism of aviator Charles A. Lindbergh, who championed "America First" the last time around.

The "greatest danger" that American Jews posed, Lindbergh declared in 1940, was "their large ownership and influence in our motion pictures, our press, our radio and our government." Speaking against US involvement in the war in Europe, he said, "This is not a question of banding together to defend the white race against foreign invasion." He added, "Instead of agitating for war, Jews in this country should be opposing it in every way, for they will be the first to feel its consequences." And Hitler, he said, was "undoubtedly a great man." Ugh.

Memo to Ari Fleischer, Sheldon Adelson, Ken Mehlman, Eric Cantor, Michael Savage, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol, Ben Stein, Michael Chertoff, David Frum, Paul Wolfowitz, and others:

Please share your reaction to Trump's kinship with Charles Lindbergh. How comfortable are you with the thought of America's foreign policy in The Donald's hands? Inquiring non-Republican minds want to know. In the meantime, we'll just remember how FDR blocked Lindbergh from enlisting after Pearl Harbor, and PURR.

Bad Metaphor

By Baxter

Okay, we know that the Republican establishment is deep into one of the five stages of grief, but let's stop with the World War II references already.

Mike Murphy — who, as the head of the flaccid and failed Jeb! Bush "super" PAC Right to Rise, is one of the main culprits whom the GOP could finger for the success of Donald J. Trump — really crossed the line.

"The lights are going out across the Republican Party tonight," Murphy opined as Trump racked up win after win on Tuesday. "And we may not see them turn on until after the next Presidential election."

Yes, Murphy mentioned that he was paraphrasing Edward Grey. But ya know what? The implosion of today's repulsive GOP pales in comparison with the destruction of European Jewry and the slaughter of zillions.

The allusion is odious — and during Passover, no less! We cats HISS.

GOP Elites: Feeling Blue

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are wondering who was in charge of lighting Donald Trump's speech tonight. His eyes and his teeth look blue! Bad, bad advance work. And all the pundits are wondering: Is the GOP consolidating around this buffoon? Here's our take on that.

If you define "GOP" as the people who brought the party to where it is today — control of both houses of Congress, control of a record number of state houses and state legislatures — then the answer is definitely no.

If you define "GOP" as the yahoos whom the powers that be have suckered with ever-greater cynicism since 1964 — then, yes.

Because we think this all will spell doom in November, we cats PURR more than we HISS. And please, Trump campaign: Get rid of that awful lighting. Or, on second thought, don't.

The Things That You're Liable To Read In The Bible, They Ain't Necessarily So

By Zamboni

Some folks can't resist being contrary, including us cats — so we just have to share. This troublemaker was sitting in Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, Georgia — killing time before former President Jimmy Carter gave the Sunday school lesson on April 24.

It was a long wait, which meant that proper reading material was in order. You probably can't see that the book is Why Evolution Is True by Jerry Coyne. But happily, we cats (who were observing the festivities) can report that no Darwin-versus-deity fights broke out.

And actually, we're sure that President Carter — a nuclear engineer — would never dream of denying scientific reality. So remain calm: All was well.

(PHOTO: Deacon Dale Leibach)

GRRRRR!

By Sniffles

Have you ever been in a situation where you did the right thing and didn't get any credit for it? And then saw somebody else do the wrong thing and get away with it?

The reason we're asking is that we cats know that feeling all too well. And we're seeing it replayed in the Democratic race for President right now.

Bernie Sanders is saying that he may not automatically advise his fans to support Hillary Clinton once she (and not "if" she, by the way) beats his butt for the Democratic nomination. "It is incumbent upon Secretary Clinton" to make that happen, he said.

This makes us cats really mad. (See above.) Hillary Clinton fell in line and worked her heart out for Barack Obama once he beat her in 2008. Why? Because any Democrat is better than the clowns the Republicans are running, especially this year. Gosh, even the very strange Jim Webb would be superior to the 2016 GOP clown car. There is no time for Democrats to squabble and bicker about petty differences when the alternative is so unthinkable. To suggest that we maybe should is liberal loser-ism in the extreme.

And by the way, we are really annoyed because, in our experience, it's usually the woman who has to be gracious, and the guy who gets off with the prize. Well, this time, Bernie Sanders, it's probably going to be you who has to suck it up. Start sucking. We cats HISS.

"Because It's 2016"

By Baxter

Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced that if she's elected President in November, half of the members of her Cabinet will be women.

Clinton is right to say that she needs a Cabinet "that looks like America, and 50 percent of America is women." But since we're sure that the teabags and the right wingers are screaming about how badly she's pandering with this pledge, let us remind everybody that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau achieved Cabinet-level gender parity first. Just giving credit where credit is due.

But have at it, Secretary Clinton. We'd be thrilled — as long as you don't lose us the Senate when you do it. (Democratic women from states with Republican governors are off the table, sorry.) With that one caveat, it's a grand, Trudeauesque idea. We cats PURR.

You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's (Not Quite) Gone

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have had an interesting visit to Atlanta and to Plains, Georgia, to hear about the latest good works of The Carter Center and its mission of waging peace, fighting disease and building hope. We're happy to report that after the briefings we received, we continue to be smug about our support of the center and its programs. Boy, when it comes to humanitarian organizations, we sure know how to pick 'em.

What was most interesting to us, though, was the makeup of the crowd that turned out for the event, which also included a tour of Jimmy Carter's boyhood home (conducted by the man himself) and attendance at Sunday school (more on that later). Also, square dancing. (GACK! It's tough for cats to square dance. We get lost in the crowd and our paws get stepped on.)

What we mean is that some of the people who attended seem to have become JECIII groupies during the ex-Presidency but were kind of in the dark about all his accomplishments when he was in the White House: the Camp David accords, normalizing relations with China, negotiating the Panama Canal treaty, etc. All done in one term (but we have to admit, with a less-obstreperous Republican Party then). We're not criticizing Carter's newfound fan club, but we hope that they give up on the oh-he's-just-a-good-former-President meme. There's a whole lot more to the story.

We also had time to reflect on the fact that voters today claim to want authenticity and honesty above all else, but that when the nation had one of its most honest men sitting in the Oval Office, they tossed him out for a second-rate Hollywood actor who sold arms to Iran and lied about it.

So, call us skeptical on the wisdom of the American people when it comes to public servants like Jimmy Carter. The Nobel Committee certainly got it even if they don't. Perhaps before this indomitable man really does check out (which, thanks to a clean post-treatment cancer scan, appears to be off in the future), America and not just the groupies will give him the recognition he deserves. Until then, we salute 100 elections observed, the Syria conflict mapped, and the guinea worm nearly eradicated. We cats PURR.

Marathon Ma'am Clears Another Hurdle

By Zamboni

We cats need to take a quick moment to send best wishes to Queen Elizabeth II on her (actual) 90th birthday. And compliment her, as always, on her newly favorite and fabulous style of hat.

On a sadder note, coinciding with her milestone — and perhaps in the knowledge that this old Queen has been served by a lot of other old queens? — Her Majesty's Government has seen fit to warn gay British travelers to the United States against visiting North Carolina and Mississippi. Color us embarrassed. We cats HISS.

Travel Plains (oops, Plans)

OMG, we cats will be here in a couple of days. We'll try to post while we're on the road if time permits. In the meantime, let's just revel in the fact that we have the hottest ticket to Sunday school ever. Um, we think that makes us PURR.

We Just Have This To Say About That

By Sniffles

The pundits are clucking over Donald Trump's and Hillary Clinton's high negatives — observing that the fall campaign for the White House could be between the two most unpopular nominees in history.

To which we cats say, piffle.

These pundits should know better, because they've been around for a few. Has Donald Trump been active in the political arena for years, the subject of countless inquisitions and investigations? Has Donald Trump been forced to testify before grand juries and Congressional committees? In short, has Donald Trump been vetted to the extent that Hillary Clinton has been vetted? Nope.

What the pundits are missing is that, sure, after 25 years of relentless assaults from the right-wing attack machine, anybody would have high negatives. But Donald Trump has been in politics for less than a year, and already his negative ratings are higher than Hillary's by nearly 10 points.

We have absolutely no qualms about HRC's ability to deal with skeptical voters. Donald Trump? Not so much. Which is why we're bullish on her ability to prevail in November. We cats PURR.

Would The Teabags Demand Hamilton's Birth Certificate?

By Baxter

In our previous lives, we cats traveled pretty extensively in the Caribbean. And one of our favorite islands was Nevis, which — joined at the hip with St. Kitts — makes up a nation of about 55,000 lucky people.

So imagine our excitement when we toured the Nevis capital of Charles Town back then, and found the birthplace of Alexander Hamilton. (At the time, by the way, Lin-Manuel Miranda was about six.) Yep, one of America's most important Founding Fathers was an out-of-wedlock immigrant to the colonies, looked down upon by the Adamses and the Jeffersons of the world.

Gosh, we wish we could go back to Nevis tomorrow. Suffice to say that we're sorry that Hamilton had to fight prejudice against his origins, since the island where he was born is so incredibly charming. But we guess that a lot of people feel that way now, having seen the wild success of Miranda's hip-hop musical, "Hamilton."

Which brings us to one of Alexander Hamilton's favorite topics — money. We cats heartily endorse Treasury Secretary Jack Lew's decision not to dislodge A.H. from the ten-dollar bill. How much better to boot Andrew "Trail of Tears" Jackson from the twenty, replacing him with the brave and brilliant Harriet Tubman.

Was Andrew Jackson a founder of the Democratic Party? Yes. Was the party aligned with the slaveholding South until the New Deal, the Great Migration and the Civil Rights Act of 1964? Indeed. So are we willing to let Andrew Jackson go? Oh, you betcha.

And by the way, idiot Ben Carson's suggestion that Harriet Tubman appear on the two-dollar bill is not only stupid but depressing. We cats know that Carson has no influence on who gets on what currency. It's just dispiriting that an accomplished African American would say that, and it makes us HISS.

Awful Person, Awful Sound

By Miss Kubelik

We cats never expected Curt Schilling to be a fount of wisdom. After all, he's a right winger (and a Red Sock, too, ugh). But when it comes to grammar? Boy, is he dumb.

Schilling posted some idiotic anti-transgender tirade to the Face Thing yesterday, and then tried to take it down. But you know how the Interwebs work: Your most bigoted, repulsive self lives on forever.

We don't care to repeat what Schilling thinks about issues of gender identity, except to quote him thus: “A man is a man no matter what they call themselves." (Augh! Subject-pronoun agreement, somebody! And stop scratching that damn blackboard.)

It always amazes us how people of Schilling's political ilk never, ever use proper English. And we bet there are plenty of DREAMers around who speak it better than he does. One strike and you're out, Curt. We cats HISS.

Gray Hair? Not Yet. Gray Matter? Yes.

By Zamboni

When it comes to inheriting smarts, we have to say that Justin Trudeau's dad had a "very good brain." And it's clear from Justin's recent description of quantum computing that he's not only pretty bright but, as a former teacher, he knows how to explain stuff to people who aren't.

What's funny is that the right wing has seen fit to trash him, even for this — and sniffy science writers have felt compelled to try to take him down.

Here's the thing: The Liberals won a yuuuuge majority in October, and the Harper Conservatives are gone, gone, gone. Since they, like the Republicans in the US, were anti-science and ignoring if not denying of climate change, it's refreshing to see a Prime Minister who not only cares about the environment but who actually apparently loves and appreciates the systematic study of the physical, natural and technological world. 

So we accept Justin's explanation. It you want to know more, well, as Casey Stengel said, you can look it up. We cats PURR.

Super!

By Sniffles

We cats are veterans of the employee-benefits wars — which are not quite as sexy as the culture wars, but which are deeply intertwined with them nevertheless.

Specifically, we have agitated at major employers (okay, at one) for health coverage for gay couples. Although our particular employer chose not to see the light — which caused us to part ways — we're pretty smug now that the law of the land has compelled them to cover not just husbands and wives, but husbands and husbands and wives and wives. Hooray!

So you can imagine that we've been fascinated with how much corporate America has changed in the last 10 years. Now, companies that want to hire the most highly qualified folks know in their bones that they have to be inclusive in their health and welfare benefits — and if they can, they should headquarter or locate major hubs in states that are welcoming and not judgmental.

Sounds like a no-brainer to us. But it's amazing how many Republican-run states are lining up to emulate North Carolina's foolish "bathroom law." (Which, as we know, is about way more than just public restrooms.)

If there's one thing we can divine from all this silliness, it's that even after the Supreme Court's ruling on marriage equality, the fight goes on. America's LGBT citizens and the straight people who love them can take comfort in the fact that we have a valuable ally in the nation's corporate boardrooms. And that, children, is thanks to the Human Rights Campaign's visionary strategy of engaging big business on the side of equality and equal opportunity.

Sure, the HRC has frustrated us in the past with its dogged nonpartisanship (the GOP has made it clear that homosexuals need not apply, don'tcha think?). But we must salute the organization for its influential Corporate Equality Index, for its tremendous awareness campaign among businesspeople interested in recruiting high-powered, open-minded talent, and for its encouragement of gay and trans employees to speak up in their respective workplaces.

It was a brilliant strategy: Not just because it was the right thing to do, but because it gathered up some crucial allies just when the LGBT community needed them — post-Obergefell, and in the midst of the right wing's last-ditch "religious liberty" campaign.

So good on you, Human Rights Campaign. You did some solid recruiting of your own — the members of the US Chamber of Commerce, to the side of truth, justice and the American Way. We cats PURR.

Not Qualified

By Baxter

We cats just want to say: What do we think when a Presidential candidate takes himself completely out of pocket for 40 hours straight, less than a week before a crucial primary, to make a strange visit to the Vatican instead of knocking on doors and asking the people of New York to vote for him? Well, we do question his judgment.

Bernie Beware

By Miss Kubelik

We cats would never threaten other people in our party. (We leave that to the Republicans, who are proving very good at it.) But we have a quick word of warning for Bernie Sanders.

It dawned on us when we saw Barbara Boxer interviewed on MSNBC about last night's madcap Hillary & Bernie show: Boxer, a Hillary Clinton supporter, was restrained in her manner — but if you know anything about her, you could tell that she was really pissed off.

And since every female Democratic Senator except one has endorsed Clinton, we'd advise Sanders to think about the future — one in which he will no doubt return to the Senate, and one in which he will need to work once again with all those women.

So Bernie, you need to tone down your crankiness, your sarcasm, your yelling, and your disgusting accusation that Hillary Rodham Clinton is not qualified to be President. There is no one — repeat, no one — running for the White House who is more qualified than she. If you don't do it to gain women's votes across America, Bernie, at least do it so that your Senate colleagues will not make your life miserable next year. We cats HISS.

Scare-dy Cats

By Zamboni

Uncommitted (and squishily committed) delegates to the Republican National Convention are starting to complain that Trump supporters are sending them mean emails.

"Think before you take a step down the wrong path," warned one message that Kyle Babcock, a delegate from Indiana, says he received. "These type [sic] of threats have no place in politics," Babcock sniffed.

We checked on the Trump adorers at Free Republic to see how they were reacting to these allegations. Answer: They weren't. They had nothing to say about anything except to repeat their rock-solid conviction that the question is moot because their hero will win outright. "Trump will have more than 1,237 by time the convention starts. There won’t be a second ballot to worry about," said one.

Which tells us that for our friends the Freepers (and for who knows how many other nutcases who make up the base of the GOP), sending convention delegates notes that mention "burials" is par for the political course.

Kind of hilarious. Republicans are feeling threatened? Like they're being watched? Do they have to look over their shoulders, be wary of opening packages, and check underneath before they start their cars? Now they know how abortion providers feel. We cats HISS.

Plumbing The Depths Of HB2

By Sniffles

We cats are superior creatures, of course, but there are two things about the North Carolina anti-LGBT contretemps that we still don't understand.

First, how in the heck is House Bill 2 — which declares that you must use the restroom that matches the gender on your birth certificate — going to be enforced?

We've yet to see anyone adequately explain this. Will cops be stationed outside the doors? Or will it be like the TSA, where you'll get wanded or X-rayed by all sorts of fancy gizmos? (Or will they just stick their hands down your pants?) Will North Carolinians have to carry their birth certificates with them wherever they go?

Second, we've seen coverage that the Tarheel State's fraud of a Governor (remember, he ran as a moderate) has been blindsided by the outrage at HB2, especially from the business world. Really? Has Pat McCrory never heard of the Corporate Equality Index? Is he completely clueless about why companies are interested in attracting talented people to states where they'd want to live? Does he never chat with his Chamber of Commerce buddies about how employee benefits have changed since Obergefell v. Hodges? We could go on and on.

Meanwhile, Ringo Starr is the latest celeb to cancel a concert in North Carolina — and over in Louisiana, John Bel Edwards has issued an executive order prohibiting discrimination against lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people, thus proving what a difference having a Democrat in office can make.

So, NBA All-Star Game, the ball is literally and figuratively in your court. In the meantime, somebody please explain this bathroom enforcement thing to us. (We have just figured out the answer to the second question, and it's this: Just because the Republicans have a lot more money than we do, doesn't mean that they're smart.) We cats PURR.

FDR, 1882-1945

We cats have nine lives, so we remember very well how shocking the sudden death of Franklin D. Roosevelt was. On this 71st anniversary, however, we prefer to remember him by this very funny speech. Even if it is about a dog.

Boycott Buchanan

By Baxter

Remember the young black woman who got repeatedly shoved at a Trump rally in Louisville? (Don't worry, she got away, shaken but unharmed.) Well, here's a profile of the guy who did a lot of the shoving. And the yelling.

If you don't feel like reading the whole thing — and we don't blame you — we'll sum it up: Matthew Heimbach is a white nationalist who thinks the Holocaust is fiction, apartheid was swell, and lynching is a great way to solve the Negro problem. And of course, he's supporting Donald Trump.

But we're not just here to blast Heimbach or the fact that Trump never feels compelled to repudiate losers like him. We're here to ask the cable news networks: Why do you ever have Pat Buchanan on as a talking head?

See, Heimbach was apparently normal until he read Buchanan's Death of the West, an anti-immigrant screed that rings warning bells against the incoming hordes of color. It's crap, of course, and just the latest example of how Buchanan has been poisoning political discourse for more than 40 years. (His biggest contribution was probably his "culture war" speech at the 1992 Republican convention, which, as Molly Ivins quipped, "probably sounded better in the original German" and which helped sink the GOP's electoral hopes that year.)

But just the other day we turned on cable news and found Pat ruminating on the Republican race. With anchors treating him as if he were a serious thinker and not a hater.

Pat Buchanan is a racist, homophobe, anti-Semite, misogynist, and more, but he cloaks himself with Washington respectability instead of a white sheet. And Washington — at least, the Beltway media — allows him to do it. It makes us cats sick, and and it makes us HISS.

Ivanka And Eric, Out Of Luck

By Miss Kubelik

We cats have good friends who are leaving soon on a long trip — a verrrrry long trip — and they've already made arrangements to vote absentee in November.

So we're wondering why the son and daughter of Donald Trump, who are surely busy but who also have many minions to do things for them and whose father is running for President, couldn't have taken care of their own, um, situation. (You've probably heard by now that they didn't re-register as Republicans by an October 2015 deadline, and therefore cannot vote for The Donald in the New York primary on April 19.)

We don't get it. Isn't the GOP supposed to be the party of personal responsibility? Even our friends the Freepers are flummoxed.

We guess the junior Trumps didn't inherit any of their dad's "good brains." We'd HISS about that, but because they look like idiots, we'll PURR instead.

Lest We Furr-get: The Last Time The Whole World Watched

By Zamboni

Now we know the Republicans are headed toward a replay of Chicago 1968. Paul Manafort, Donald Trump's hired-too-late convention manager, has just accused Rafael Cruz, Jr. of employing "Gestapo tactics" — stealing delegates away from The Donald in states that he's won.

Trump's latest delegate snafus happened just yesterday in Colorado and South Carolina, with another one looming in Indiana, a state that hasn't even gone to the polls yet. The Cruz operation is working the delegate selection system like big-time pros — while Trump has been caught flat-footed, with no organization and, apparently, no clue until now that this kind of thing could happen.

Hence the frantic hiring of Manafort, who not only was Jerry Ford's delegate hunter at the GOP's last contested convention in 1976, but probably also old enough to recall the origin of the term he just used against Cruz. (As is Trump, by the way.)

Of course, when Abe Ribicoff said it, he was referring to what was happening in the streets, which a national commission later labeled a police riot. This summer in Cleveland, though, it'll be Trump supporters who'll be on the rampage, not the cops. (But come to think of it, Trump's penchant for hurling insults kinda reminds us — and not fondly — of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's caught-on-camera reaction to Ribicoff's speech.)

Depending on how the next three months unfold — and even though we've avoided Republican conventions in the past — we cats have marked our calendars to, um, maybe watch. After all, it's not every day you get to see a major political party destroy itself. That would make us PURR.

A Quickie: Here's Why

By Sniffles

Scratching your head over Florida's first Martian Governor's response to being heckled in a Starbucks? (In case you don't know: He's released an attack ad against the voter.) Easy peasy! Rick Scott's auditioning to be Donald Trump's Vice President, of course. We cats HISS.

Who's The Enemy?

By Baxter

We cats are often in the minority on things, so we weren't surprised to discover that we were the only ones in America who loved Bill Clinton's pushback at Black Lives Matter hecklers in Philadelphia yesterday.

Unlike the gibberish we so often hear on the Republican side, Clinton's response was deeply reasoned, intelligent, articulate and, yep, furious. And so we found it thrilling — not just because he made detailed and constructive arguments in the midst of potential chaos, but that he did it so well (with people screaming in the background, no less). We were happy to see that most of the crowd at the event was with him.

We have this theory that if everyone in America could sit down with Bill (or Hillary) Clinton and hash out the issues, in 30 minutes or less they would be diehard supporters. If the demonstrators had stopped shouting and listened, that might have happened yesterday. (To his credit, Clinton said today that he regretted having talked past them.)

But here's the more important question: What in the world were Black Lives Matter protesters doing heckling a Democrat? When you consider what's going on in the GOP, we should all be banding together to fight the Republicans come November — because losing to them is unthinkable.

So we have a suggestion. If Black Lives Matter supporters want to target somebody, it should be Art Pope. Yeah, they should stage demonstrations outside of every damn Roses, Maxway, Bargain Town, Bill's Dollar Store, Super 10, Super Dollar, Treasure Mart and Value Mart — all of which have preyed on low-income consumers, both black and white — and on whose revenues Pope powered himself to right-wing prominence in North Carolina. And we all know how that's turned out.

And yes, speaking of which, big scratchy kisses to Bruce Springsteen for canceling that concert in Greensboro.  Thanks, Boss, for showing us how to keep our eyes on the prize. We cats PURR.

Bush 5, Cameron 5

By Miss Kubelik

David Cameron has tied Jeb! Bush in the "How Many Times Can You Change Your Answer Without Answering" sweepstakes.

Caught up in the Panama Papers leak, the UK Prime Minister and/or the PMO have issued five, count 'em, five different responses about his family's finances and a slough of icky tax-evading implications. (This is not to say that everything revealed in the Panama Papers was illegal, but there's something very unsavory about that word "offshore," isn't there?)

First the PMO said that Cameron's money was nobody's business. Then Cameron said he had "no shares, no offshore trusts, no offshore funds." Then a spokesperson said, "The Prime Minister, his wife and their children do not benefit from any offshore funds." Then the PMO tried to say, whoops, the Camerons wouldn't benefit from offshore funds in the future.

Now, finally, Cameron has 'fessed up: Yep, he and the missus had shares in a tax-haven fund, which he sold before moving into No. 10.

Oh, David. You could have just rung up your good friend Jeb! Bush to find out what it's like when you keep flip-flopping on a simple question. (Yes, Jeb! would have supported the Iraq war. Well, on the other hand, that's a hypothetical. Then again, maybe he would have done things differently. Except the world is better off without Saddam Hussein, isn't it? Okay, goddammit, I wouldn't have invaded! Are you happy?)

We don't know what's in store for David Cameron — but we know where Jeb! Bush is right now. Hint: Not on his way to Cleveland to be nominated. We cats PURR.

Lest We Furr-get: Bruce Braley Was Right

By Zamboni

Remember back in 2014 when the Democratic candidate for Tom Harkin's Iowa Senate seat caused a kerfuffle by calling into question Chuck Grassley's credentials as a potential chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee?

"If you help me win this race, you may have someone with your background, your experience, your voice," Bruce Braley told a roomful of lawyers at a fundraiser. "Or you might have a farmer from Iowa who never went to law school, never practiced law, serving as the next chair" if the Republicans take control of the Senate, he added.

Oh, such a scandal! Braley was forced to apologize, and he eventually lost the race to Joni Ernst, whose election helped tip the chamber into GOP hands — and the Judiciary Committee into Grassley's.

And Grassley's performance in that chairmanship has been a sheer embarrassment. Not only is he refusing hearings on Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court, now he's unloaded on Chief Justice John Roberts. Under Roberts, Grassley said on the Senate floor, the Court has "drifted from the Constitutional text and rendered decisions based instead on policy preferences."

Gee. Did Charles Grassley protest the decision in Citizens United? Shelby County v. Holder? District of Columbia v. Heller? Nope. And although it was before Roberts's time, did Grassley howl about the disenfranchisement of thousands of American voters in Bush v. Gore? Nope again.

The only thing Bruce Braley should have apologized for was the mildness of his language. Charles Grassley is worse than a farmer who never went to law school. He's a total idiot. We cats HISS.

Ryan Not To The Rescue

By Sniffles

We cats congratulate PayPal for giving their heretofore planned expansion to Charlotte the heave-ho, thanks to Pat McCrory and the Republican-controlled state legislature's collective freak-out over public toilets. We're thrilled that someone has made North Carolina pay not just for embarrassing themselves nationwide but for spending taxpayers' dollars on a special session to do it.

We just caution PayPal and other enlightened companies that want to attract high-performing employees to their ranks not to consider Mississippi any time soon, either. Or for that matter, Indiana — for a different reason.

The bigger mystery is why Republicans keep doing so much harm to themselves so publicly. A chaotic and absurd Presidential primary race, gay- and women-hating laws passed around the country, refusing to hold hearings on a Supreme Court nominee — the list goes on. Meanwhile, Beltway Republicans are telling themselves they'll survive a contested convention if a "fresh face" (read: Paul Ryan) shows up to save them.

Some pundits immediately became enthralled with the idea. Others have started pouring cold water on it. We cats did what we usually do — we checked on our friends over at Free Republic to see if they were keen.

Spoiler: They aren't. Here's just sampling of how annoyed they would be if Rancid Pieface and the elites try to wrest the nomination away for Ryan:

"Ryan is a good choice for the role of Designated Loser. He’s been there before and he’ll do it with style."

"I know I won’t vote for a Ryan nominee. Ever."

"I’m sure I along with millions hate that bastard Ryan."

"Why have a nominating process if you are going to end up with some hand-picked RINO at the end of the day? No, thanks."

Finally, this:

"I’m still trying to determine the best vote in November if 'they' force Ryan, Mitt, etc., as the GOP candidate. If Trump runs on another ticket, I’ll vote that ticket. If he ends up being 100% out, then I guess the options are to (1) write him in or (2) vote Libertarian or similar. Maybe this'll be the year the Republican party dies — with a whimper or a bang. We’ll see how that plays out. Which ever it is, good riddance."

We cats PURR.

We Know What You're Up To, Stephen Harper

By Baxter

Donald Trump will be a no-show at this week's Vegas confab of the Republican Jewish Coalition, the world learned today.

We cats are always amused by the silliness of the Republican Jewish Coalition, and especially now that The Donald has said he will snub them. Trump must have figured that having recently hosted folks like Jeb! Bush, the RJC is a forum for losers. (Interesting note: John Kasich is also taking a pass.)

But wait! — here's a fun fact that got buried at the end of the story. Hotel owner and RJC host Sheldon Adelson will welcome his fellow GOP-MOT friends to the Venetian on Thursday night with a kickoff dinner featuring... former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper!

Now, it's always a pleasure to type the words "former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper." But Stevie's planned presence in Vegas says to us cats two things: He's desperately trying to be relevant to somebody these days, and we were right all along about that direct line that the Bushies had to his phone in the PMO.

That line has to go to his personal cellphone now that Canada has shown Harper the door. But this RJC invite is just more proof that the insidiousness of the conservative network in North America knows no bounds. What will he speak to them about? What it feels like to have your right-wing butt kicked by a young, charismatic liberal guy with an attractive family? We cats PURR.

If LaFollette Were Alive Today, He'd Be Spinning In His Grave

By Miss Kubelik

It's so interesting how this year's Republican Presidential contest has ripped the veil off how undemocratic (small-d) the GOP's primary process is.

On the eve-eve-eve of the 2016 Wisconsin primary, we cats just have to say that the progressive Republican founder of the nation's Presidential primary system would be aghast at the state in which the GOP finds itself today.

Now, we are no fans of Donald Trump. But it goes without saying that the heretofore hierarchical Republican Party — consistently rewarding its "next-in-line" candidates (except, of course for Sarah Palin, who was mysteriously passed over in 2012) — has papered over the will of its discontented base for years, to choose guys who came oh-so-close last time but didn't quite pull it off.

Now, the teabags and the Freepers and the Obama haters have blown up the nominating process, and the GOP is consumed in turmoil, pro-Trump versus anti-Trump. Ironically, the anti-Trump folks, having enjoyed the quiescent support of the Trumpkins for decades, are leaning on the obscure-and-hardly-representative machinations of delegate selection to block The Donald from a first-ballot victory. Tennessee, North Dakota and Louisiana have all become arcane rules-oriented battlegrounds, and the Trump campaign is late to the battle. In fact, they may yet lose.

Now, see, we hate to say it, but if these GOP clowns were Democrats, they wouldn't be having this problem. Because our primaries and caucuses award delegates proportionately, to help ensure representation, diversity and fairness. And our superdelegates help balance everything out. We Democrats went through a lot of bloodletting to accomplish that system, but thanks to the McGovern-Fraser Commission, it's worked pretty darn well for 45 years — through general election wins and losses. And we think it's something to be proud of.

Meanwhile, the Republicans may sniff at our "political correctness" — but they're the ones with the chaos, they're the ones with the party that's breaking up, they're the ones with riots threatened in Cleveland, and they're the ones with the convention floors that don't look like America.

We cats rest our case. And we PURR.

Whut?

By Zamboni

The Freepers are very confused. Well, some of them are. Donald Trump stuck his foot in his mouth on abortion again today, and the rabid anti-choicers at Free Republic are now scratching their heads.

Except for this one, whom we will quote in full:

"Trump lost respect from me when he backed down. All women who have procured the murder of the child should [be] in jail, or worse. And every doctor that murders a child in utero or outside of it should be in jail, too. Just shows what a Sodom and Gomorrah America has become. May God smack it down, hard. It's well deserved."

Gee, why are folks like this supposed to be superpatriots? They sound like a bunch of America haters to us. We cats HISS.