Nikki Haley Misfires Her Fury

By Sniffles

We cats have been madly tweeting for the last two days, asking why in hell America's ambassador to the UN has time to watch and tweet about the Grammy awards. The last we checked, there was a lot of horrible crap going on in the world — and when you're in a Cabinet-level position like hers, there's no such thing as a lazy Sunday night.

Nobody really answered our question. But then once we calmed down a little, we realized that Haley's tweet was also incredibly stupid. Which got us all cranked up again.

"Don't ruin great music with trash," Haley whined after griping (at Donald's behest, no doubt) about the Grammys' amusing Fire and Fury video. "Some of us love music without the politics thrown in it."

Um, no politics?

Do we really have a UN ambassador who's so dumb she doesn't know about songs like "Strange Fruit" and "This Land Is Your Land"? Howzabout "Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?" Is she not familiar with John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" or Crosby, Stills & Nash's "Ohio"? Bob Dylan? Joan Baez? Paul Simon's "American Tune"? Or even Neil Diamond's "They're Coming to America"? The list goes on and on.

Our point being, of course, that music has always been about politics.

Note to Nikki Haley: If you don't want politics in music, Ambassador, you'd better stick to children's songs. Check out "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" and "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" — they're about your speed. Oh, and get back to work, you lazy slob. We cats HISS.

Why Can't Republicans Teach Their Children How To Speak?

By Baxter

We cats are always thrilled when we see fellow mavens crusading on social media for good grammar. And when they strike a blow against spelling-challenged gay haters at the same time? Ahhh, heaven.

Thus inspired, we can't let Baby Marco Rubio's latest horrifying gaffe go uncorrected. Here is a statement he issued after firing Clint Reed, his chief of staff, for improper office conduct. Reed, Baby Marco said, "had violated office policies regarding proper relations between a supervisor and their subordinates."

Honestly, Baby Marco? "A" supervisor? "Their" subordinates? Is it really so hard to come up with an agreeing possessive pronoun?

For the record, Senator Grammar Fail, you have two choices:

• Reed "had violated office policies regarding proper relations between a supervisor and his or her subordinates."
• Reed "had violated office policies regarding proper relations between supervisors and their subordinates."

We won't even mention Baby Marco's later use of "impact" as a verb. We cats HISS.

First-Class Responder

Miss Kubelik

We cats were tickled pink, in the words of John F. Kennedy's generation, to hear that Representative Joseph P. Kennedy III will deliver the official Democratic response to next week's State of the Union address.

Joe is an inspiring speaker and passionate about the same issues we care about. But we're happy for two other reasons: He's a tad too young for 2020, so the media won't be able to focus quite so heavily on annoying Presidential rumors. But at the same time, he's a warning shot to the Republicans about the depth of our bench. We cats PURR.

Doomsday? Maybe Not Yet.

By Zamboni

It's getting closer to scurry-under-the-blanket time: The Doomsday Clock has just moved up to two minutes before midnight.

Egad! Everything about the news today is so scary and dismal, we knew we needed something to cheer us up. Looking around frantically, we were starting to feel hopeless — until we spotted this:

"The emailed response from the Guggenheim’s chief curator to the White House was polite but firm: The museum could not accommodate a request to borrow a painting by Vincent van Gogh for President and Melania Trump’s private living quarters.

"Instead, wrote the curator, Nancy Spector, another piece was available...an 18-karat, fully functioning, solid gold toilet — an interactive work titled 'America' that critics have described as pointed satire aimed at the excess of wealth in this country."

We won't comment on whether an art museum would respond to another White House this way, except to say that you get what you dish out. Trump has coarsened the national discourse and perceptions of public behavior to such an extent that others have no fear about responding in kind.

Quite a message to the Drumpfs about where they can — shall we say, van Gogh? Thanks, Guggenheimers! We cats PURR.

Postively Presidential

Impressed that the sociopath in the White House finally roused himself to call Governor Matt Bevin of Kentucky to send useless thoughts and prayers on the latest school shooting? Don't be. Justin Trudeau, who is not even President of the United States, beat him to it by a full day.

We assume Justin spoke to Bevin in English since they don't do a whole lotta furrin'-language larnin' down there. We cats PURR.

Playing The Long Game

via GIPHY

By Sniffles

Wow, the media sure jumped on the "Dems caved, got nothing" storyline, didn't they? Sometimes the press really does drive us crazy. For example, if we cats had a can of tuna for every "Shutdown Showdown" headline and chyron we saw, we'd never be hungry again.

Here's our take on it all: Thank God nine million low-income kids don't have to worry about their health insurance any more.

You think that's nothing? Try talking to parents who rely on CHIP to cover treatment for a child with cancer. Oh, and ask them what kind of a Christmas they had, knowing that they could lose coverage with the New Year. (We'll refrain from mentioning that the Republicans had more than 100 days to act on CHIP instead of holding those kids and their families hostage for selfish, soulless bargaining purposes.)

Meanwhile, the government is open, the obviously hapless Donald Trump not only couldn't close a deal but missed his stupid Palm Beach party, and Congressional Republicans are on the record that they'll deal with DREAMers in three weeks. Not bad.

Oh, and bargain points for this: The world now knows who the revoltingly racist Stephen Miller is. We cats PURR.

Unfriendly Fire

By Baxter

We cats just want to point out that Claire McCaskill and other Senate Democrats have tried to introduce legislation to keep paying members of the military throughout the government shutdown. However, she, and they, have been — shall we say — shut down.

By Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

We just want to know which party is the friend of the military. Because while Mike Pence gave a partisan speech using US service members overseas as props, we think that the true sentiment of the American people today was expressed by Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL).

Senator Duckworth, who lost both legs in Iraq in 2004, fired back at Donald Drumpf on the Senate floor when the Republicans dared to cast the government shutdown in terms of funding for the military.

"I will not be lectured," Senator Duckworth declared, "about what our military needs by a five-deferment draft dodger."

We cats PURR.

Not Torn About Trump

By Miss Kubelik

We cats heard an inane discussion on MSNBC yesterday about whether the sociopath in the White House is "Teflon Don." Apparently the mainstream media can't get over the fact that the Stormy Daniels story hasn't taken over the zeitgeist yet.

"Yet" — that's our word, not necessarily theirs. But give it time. The media landscape is mighty different than it was 20 years ago when we were all obsessed with Bill and Monica.

Meanwhile, we would quibble with that "teflon" reference. First because once again, lazy members of the press are reaching for the easy metaphor — in this case, one that dates back to the Reagan Administration. You know what? Plenty of yesterday's Women's Marchers were not even born when Ronnie and Nancy were swanning around DC.

But more important, we're not seeing any signs of "teflon" around here. Sure, it doesn't seem as if a single shocking tale of collusion, crassness or corruption can bring Little Donnie down. But taken together, people are repulsed, and we're seeing the effects: His approval ratings are the lowest ever. America's status in the rest of the world has tanked. And, crucially: Republicans are losing elections (hello, Virginia, New Jersey, Alabama, Wisconsin).

As some wise tweeter observed, never have so many women turned out to reject one man. We cats PURR.

Torn About Trump

By Zamboni

So all these anti-choicers marched in Washington today and basically justified a speech by the highly morally compromised Donald Trump by citing his appointment of Neil Gorsuch to a stolen seat on the Supreme Court. "I give him credit for appointing a conservative justice," one marcher said.

But others in the crowd seemed a little uncomfortable. To them, Trump's speech was "an unfortunate distraction."

Gee, we cats wonder why. Could it be because Trump is the most-hated President in his first year ever? And that, thanks to him, the government is careening toward a shutdown? Or is it because he's the guy who apparently paid off a porn star to keep quiet about a sexual relationship that started when his third wife was nursing his latest son? Hm. Maybe it was just because he didn't know the difference between "torn" and "born." Inquiring minds want to know.

In the meantime, goodness gracious — could the pro-life crowd have fallen any farther? At any time in the last 40+ years, did they picture themselves marching for babies and listening to a man whose mistresses have probably had multiple terminated pregnancies (even if he didn't pay for them, since he's famous for being a scofflaw)? They must have been standing there wondering why they couldn't just have had that nice Nazi man from Indiana with the religious freedom law, and skipped the porn-star-screwing guy. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Advice To Amazon

By Sniffles

The reports are in, and there are 20 finalists for Amazon's "second headquarters" outside of Seattle. We cats have looked over the list, and we have a suggestion for Jeff Bezos:

Don't reward a city in a red state to which it'll become difficult to recruit highly qualified millennials and other fabulous people for political reasons.

How does that shake out among the finalists? Well, let us explain by citing a few examples.

Dallas — Really? Do you think that women will want to relocate to a state whose Republican legislature so limits abortion rights that it mandates "rape insurance"?

Austin — Yes, we know that the Lone Star State's capital is a fetching dot of blue in a red sea, but see above. 

Miami — Um, climate forecasters agree that South Florida will be underwater soon, and the GOP-led state legislature, not to mention the current EPA, couldn't care less.

Indianapolis — Leading metropolis in the state of the gay-hating Mike Pence. No, thanks.

Nashville — Abortions banned after 20 weeks last year. This state is not flexibly family-friendly to young workers seeking to make lives and careers there. Pass.

Get our drift, Jeff? Actually, if you don't want to confine yourself to one of the open and welcoming blue states on the list, consider at least these two candidates: Toronto, because it's in a country that's not governed by a sociopath, and Newark, whose airport barred Chris Christie from using the VIP line in security today. We cats PURR.

Better Days

By Baxter

We cats will not say anything about the Donald Trump-porn-star revelations, and how humiliated Melania Trump must feel. After all, if something like that had happened in the Clinton Administration, the media would surely have given then-First Lady Hillary Clinton her privacy and the space she needed to deal with it all, right? — whooops!

Well, no matter. We will go high when they go low.

Instead of dwelling on Melania having to cope with her husband's dalliances mere months into her postpartum depression over Barron, we choose to accentuate the positive and remember that this magnificent woman used to be First Lady.

Happy birthday, Michelle Obama! We cats PURR.

A Matter Of Debates

By Miss Kubelik

Now that Democrats have captured a state senate seat in Wisconsin — in a rural district that the Porn-Star-Fan-in Chief carried by nearly 20 points in 2016 — talk of a Democratic wave this year is intensifying.

All 435 members of the House are up for re-election, as well as 33 Senators. So there are sure to be some marquee debates. (That's assuming, of course, that the GOP will be able to recruit candidates for all these races. We hear they're having some trouble.)

What we cats would like to see in 2018 is this: After all the issues have been argued, and the talking points spewed, moderators should do a "lightning round" at the end of each debate of yes-or-no questions. But here's the thing: Answers can only be "yes" or "no." No scripted phrases, no hemming or hawing, no attempts to deflect. Just "yes" or "no."

And here are some questions we'd like to hear asked. (Answers from Republicans will be of particular interest.)

• Do you agree with Donald Trump that the President has ultimate and unchecked authority over the Department of Justice? Yes or no?
• Do you believe that the nation's drug policy should be coordinated by a 24-year-old whose only post-college work experience was with the Trump campaign? Yes or no?
• Do you believe, as Donald Trump does, that he won a plurality of the popular vote for President in 2016? Yes or no?
• Do you believe, as Donald Trump says, that at least five million fraudulent votes were cast for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 general election? Yes or no?
• Do you believe that Donald Trump won the greatest Electoral College majority ever by a first-time candidate? Yes or no?
• Do you agree with Donald Trump that the press is an enemy of the American people? Yes or no?
• Do you agree with Donald Trump that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by China? Yes or no?
• Do you agree with Donald Trump that Haiti, El Salvador and African nations are "sh*thole countries"? Yes or no? — after which you are permitted, if you are a person of any decency, to either throw up or go take a shower. We cats HISS.

Cory Booker, Our Hero

Quick question: Can we impeach Kirstjen Nielsen for the eyeroll?

Les We Furr-get: Mama, Look Sharp

By Zamboni

On Martin Luther King Day, let's all remember that Dr. King turned against President Lyndon Johnson, the champion of the Voting Rights and Civil Rights Acts, to oppose the Vietnam War. Here's the sentiment that may have informed Dr. King's decision — embodied in a timeless observation from the Broadway musical "1776," on the loss of young Americans in wars.

LeBron James, We Think We Love You

By Sniffles

Can we just say here and now that LeBron James has totally redeemed himself from those long-ago days when he ditched Cleveland for Miami? Goodness gracious.

Not only has he gone back to Cleveland, he's made hilarious, fourth-wall-breaking sport of it in a fun movie in which he's proved that — OMG — he can act. Seriously, this is one talented man.

The other reason we love LeBron James? He's not afraid to speak out politically. Unlike more timid African-American sports stars like Michael Jordan, we might add.

Here's LeBron today, commenting on Martin Luther King Day:

"The state of racism will never die, but what we cannot do is allow it to conquer us as people. We can't allow it to divide us. The guy in control has given people and racism...an opportunity to be out and outspoken without fear. And that's the fearful thing for us because it's with you, and it's around every day, but he's allowed people to come out and just feel confident about doing negative things. We can't allow that to stop us from continuing to be together, and preach the right word of living and loving and laughing and things of that nature. Because would we want to live anywhere else? I don't think so. We love this place."

We love America, too, LeBron. At least, the America in which diversity is strength, and mobs who march with tiki torches aren't described as "very fine people." We cats PURR and HISS at the same time.

Force Of Impact

By Baxter

We cats have believed for a long time now that the word "impact" should never be used as a verb unless two planets are colliding. But we realize that crusading against it would be fruitless. Things are "impacting" other things all the time — sigh.

Every now and then, though, somebody uses "impact" as a verb in such a revolting, weaselly way that we just have to speak up.

Latest case in point is the attorney for Eric Greitens, who is currently Republican Governor of Missouri but may not be for long. Greitens is not only a turncoat former Democrat and your typical "family values" hypocrite, but also may be a kidnapper and blackmailer. That's what you are when you tie somebody up naked, take her photo and threaten to spread it all over the Internet.

Now, Greitens is scrambling to save his job, and his lawyer has stepped in with what are supposed to be reassuring words for the Show Me State. Greitens's survival plan, the attorney said, "is to begin the process of making amends with people who may feel impacted by the lapse in his conduct."

"Impacted"? We don't know about anybody else, but yeah, we'd say that the woman Greitens tied up and threatened is feeling kinda "impacted." Like an asteroid just smashed into her and blew her marriage, her privacy, her sense of self and, basically, her whole life to smithereens.

We won't get into the weeds of her responsibility for the affair, but will merely point out that no one, not even a woman dumb enough to sleep with a Republican, deserves this. And let's hope that in the end, Eric Greitens will feel "impacted" right out of office and into well-deserved obscurity. We cats HISS.

Someone Has Projected This On Trump's DC Hotel

Wish we were there! We cats PURR.

This Is How People Who Know How To Run A Country Act

Okay, so the current government of Haiti is not its most fabulous. It still behaves better than the jackasses in Washington. We cats HISS.

Not So Special Any More

By Miss Kubelik

Since Winston Churchill is so popular at the movies these days, we cats would like to draw some comparisons between Then and Now.

Then, Churchill knew that Nazi Germany had Britain's back against the wall. The best hope, he understood, was for the United States to enter the Second World War. In the meantime, he said, Britain would have to endure — until "in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, step[ped] forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old."

Churchill also plotted with FDR — sometimes, from the loo — to give the UK out-of-commission US warships with which to defend itself. Franklin Roosevelt, wanting to commit to the fight but constrained by domestic politics, did what he could — until the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, and it all became moot.

Since then, the United States and Great Britain have been in "the Special Relationship." Except, now — whoops.

Donald Trump has made all relations with foreign friends dicey, but particularly so with the UK. Now, he's canceled a visit to the sceptered isle because he knows he would face massive protests in the streets. No doubt Theresa May (whose name, we must point out, we are spelling correctly) is relieved that he did.

As usual, Trump lied about the reason for his cancellation. The American embassy move was decided by George W. Bush, not Barack Obama. But does anyone believe what Trump says? He is too much like the dictator Churchill was railing against when he declared, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills, we shall never surrender."

Good words for us to take into the midterms. We cats PURR.

"Ballistic Missiles Incoming? Might As Well Drink."

Thankfully, there were no missiles. But enjoy, anyway!

Some Thoughts While We Fan Ourselves

By Zamboni

We cats are very grateful that we don't live in Hawaii and therefore didn't get scared out of our minds this morning. We're also very grateful that the Sociopath-in-Chief was on the golf course at the time, because otherwise we'd all be dead. (Waiter, another round of Mai Tais, please.)

SO, now that we know nuclear Armageddon isn't yet upon us, shall we take a moment to look toward the midterms?

The Washington Post published an analysis today of the Democrats' chances of taking not just the House this fall but also the Senate. Summary: The House looks increasingly likely, the Senate is a long shot but not impossible. (Just like pundits we respect have been saying.) Here are some things that the article didn't discuss.

✽ Every week seems to be the "worst week" for Donald Trump and the GOP. Yes, it's only January — but who believes the environment will get any better for them over the next 10 months?

✽ The tax bill is a loser for the Republicans. They don't have the right messenger to sell it. And they're running out of time, even now. They've already squandered half of this month without communicating a compelling message. And Trump, being Trump, is sure to step all over everything they try to do going forward.

✽ The crazier Trump gets, the harder it will be for Republican Senate incumbents and challengers to pick a side. All their options will either lose them support among reasonable voters or earn them an annoying, costly primary with a Trumpy nutcase.

✽ Candidate recruitment: In a normal year, Rick Scott would already be three to six months into his Florida campaign. (He's not.) In a normal year, Kevin Cramer would have been running strong to depose Heidi Heitkamp. (He's not.) In a normal year, Claire McCaskill, Jon Tester, Joe Donnelly and Joe Manchin would all be down by double-digits to some GOP challenger. (They're not.) In a normal year, the Republicans would be united behind strong candidates to take on Sherrod Brown and Bob Casey. (They're not.) See a pattern?

✽ Meanwhile, Democrats are running credible candidates all over the map: in Arizona, Florida, Texas, Tennessee, even Mississippi. You can't catch a wave unless you're out in the ocean on your surfboard, ya know?

Plus, Democratic challengers to House Republicans are raising tons of money across the board. Shall we ask what Mr. President Tweethole thinks of all this? We cats PURR.

Deserving Of Censure

By Sniffles

Picture this: President Hillary Clinton is sitting in the Oval Office with top advisers and members of Congress, discussing a national infrastructure-building and job-training initiative. Somebody in the meeting observes that hard-hit red states like Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia and Kentucky are in the direst need. President Clinton looks at that person and says, "Why should I invest a dime in sh*thole places like that?"

The Republicans would be stampeding toward impeachment in no time.

Of course, Hillary Clinton would never say anything like that. (The idea of Hillary as President, however — after she got three million more votes than her unspeakable lout of an opponent — isn't such a stretch.)

We mention all this because while Donald Trump deserves to be run out of town on a rail — for endless reasons — we realize that, unlike colluding with Russia to steal an election, using offensive language about other countries probably doesn't rise to the level of a high crime or misdemeanor. So why isn't censure on the table?

The Democrats need to introduce a motion to censure Trump and then try to force a vote. Or at least get Republican leaders on the record as blocking a vote. They need to do it today. We cats HISS.

UPDATE: Representatives Cedric Richmond (D-LA) and Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) announced today that they'll introduce a censure resolution in the House next week. We cats PURR.

Yes, We Are Shocked

By Baxter

Oh, wow. We cats are dismayed by so much about this Administration, but here's what's really bugging us tonight.

Have we Americans really reached the point where the media are forced to use the word "sh*thole"? Because, goodness gracious, if that's the case, include us out.

We understand that many political leaders — indeed, many Democrats — have employed colorful language. Lyndon Johnson surely was the champion of same. FDR probably also expressed himself vividly. On the other side, Richard Nixon earned plenty of naughty-words gold medals, as we all learned from the Watergate tapes.

But never before has a President so exposed himself to the international community as a common, ignorant, vulgar person. Dignity of the office and all that, you know? Not to mention that every word from a President's mouth carries significant weight.

Here's what we cats are sick of: not that a Chief Executive would use bad words. But that he wouldn't appreciate that what he says matters. That he's stupid enough not to understand that if he makes an offhand comment, it could offend multiple people around the world.

Because you know what? America is not an island. It's really important not to repulse the rest of the planet. Just sayin'. On that note, we cats fucking hate Donald Trump, and we HISS.

Any Republicans Want To Speak Out On This One? Anybody? Anybody?

via GIPHY

By Miss Kubelik

We cats never thought we'd fall madly in love with Vicente Fox, the former President of Mexico. But then we never thought we'd see the word "sh*thole" on the front page of The Washington Post, either. (Without the asterisks, by the way.)

Ever since we did, though, we've been trying to figure out what we can possibly say about this latest and most repulsive Trumpf outrage. But fear not — President Fox has said it for us.

"Donald Trump," Fox tweeted, "your mouth is the foulest sh*thole in the world. With what authority do you proclaim who’s welcome in America and who’s not? America’s greatness is built on diversity — or have you forgotten your immigrant background, Donald?"

We cats have one hope: that this appalling Trumpf interregnum will spur Americans to look at themselves, decide that Trump does not and never can represent them, and move toward an American version of truth and reconciliation on racism. South Africa — you know, one of those "sh*thole" countries — can show us how. We cats HISS.

P.S. Our state's attorney general also had a wonderful response to Trump (if more measured than Fox's): "I want to speak directly to all the immigrants who are taking in tonight’s news," tweeted Eric Schneiderman. "We value you, we stand with you and we have your backs. Generations of people from all over the world have come to New York and made our country better." We cats PURR.

Delegate Danica, And No More Mr. Issa Guy

By Zamboni

Not a bad day. Danica Roem was sworn in as a House of Delegates member in Richmond today, taking the seat of a lamebrain who had spent most of his 25 years in the house hating on gay and transgender people. AND, Darrell Issa finally accepted the fact that the rest of us already knew: He is toast, and will not run for re-election.

Gosh! Remember the days — the 1970s — when Orange County was the GOP hotbed of California? Think Bob Dornan. (Ugh.) Now, things are so changed and the party's situation so dire that not one but two Orange County Republicans have called it quits in a week. So this is, shall we say, a California earthquake: Democrats will be favored to flip both Issa's and Ed Royce's seats.

The other fact about Issa, which not everyone will point out, is that as a fabulously wealthy arsonist and car thief, he could self-finance. There's no guarantee that whoever emerges as the Republican candidate will be in the same position, and we cats can't envision the National Republican Congressional Committee putting a lot of money into the race. Mostly because in Southern California, media buys are so expensive they couldn't get away with writing a check for just $250,000 or $500,000. It would have to be $5 million or more. Nope — better places for them to expend limited resources.

The Republicans' best hope is a narrow one: California has jungle primaries. That means that the top two finishers, regardless of their party ID, get to run in the general election. The GOP has to hope that a half-dozen serious Democrats jump into the race, that they split the Democratic vote, and that a Republican is able to slip into second place and make it into the fall. But given how Orange County has morphed from the Days of Dornan, it would have to be a pretty credible, general-election-type Republican. Hm.

Oh, well! Another day in which the GOP is distracted from selling the tax bill. The clock is ticking. We cats PURR.

"It's What I'm Going To Do"

Dianne Feinstein smiled while stepping into an elevator as reporters asked about her unilaterally publishing the Fusion GPS transcript. "I just decided to do it," she said.

The GOP's New York State Of Mind? It's SAD!

By Sniffles

What's more depressing than having the hapless Ed Cox as your New York state party chair? A dearth of candidates to run for statewide and other down-ballot races. And in a possible wave election year, no less.

Why is this important, you may ask? We cats have answers.

New York is Donald Trump's home state. He was born and raised there. His allegedly massive economic empire is headquartered there. He lives there (or, at least, Melania does). The sleazy former Mayor of New York is one of Trump's first and most important endorsers, and the first Congressman to support him was Chris Collins from Buffalo. Trump's White House political director is steeped in New York and New Jersey politics, and goofy son Eric is toying with running for Governor.

As we all know, Trump is all about revenge. He hates Andrew Cuomo, Eric Schneiderman, Bill De Blasio, Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand, and probably everyone else in the Empire State with a "D" after their name. Schneiderman, as we know, has been investigating his shady business dealings since the get-go (and as a state attorney general, he's un-fireable). Gillibrand has voted against more Trump nominees than any other Senator. Trump has every reason to want a robust and healthy state party to help Eric (if he runs, ugh) and to go after every New York Democrat it can.

Yet he's allowed that party to flounder. Attendees at yesterday's party strategy meeting said the confab was "uninspiring" and "like a funeral."

Ask President Gore how helpful it is to ignore your home-state politics. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Maybe If They Were In Russian...

By Baxter

Remember how unhinged right wingers got back in 2008 when Barack Obama neglected to put his hand over his heart for the national anthem? Gosh, you'd think he'd tossed a box of babies off a suspension bridge, the teabagger outcry was so great. Suffice to say that Obama learned from the experience and throughout his entire Presidency, did the heart thing and wore flag pins on his lapels and all that stuff.

So we have to wonder: Will Donald Trump learn the words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" now?

Tonight at the College Football Playoff National Championship in Atlanta, he pretty much fumbled his way through. Where's the right-wing outrage about that? We cats HISS.

Who's A Genius?

By Miss Kubelik

We cats are a little surprised, and yet not surprised.

A statistical algorithm established by the University of California Davis has determined that the biggest genius to have held the office of the Presidency is John Quincy Adams. Wow — okay. We won't quibble with that, since there are so few Adams advocates left alive who would argue the point.

However, we heartily endorse the remaining findings: The next-big geniuses to have occupied the office of President are Thomas Jefferson, John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton.

YEAH. Yes, we know that Jefferson was a slave holder — but even so, he managed to become the author of our language on democracy, period. JFK, we knew, was a fabulous writer. If his brother hadn't died in World War II, he probably would have become a journalist. Let's put it this way: His letters to Inga Arvad are the stuff of literature. We cats learned to love Jack Kennedy when we read them.

Bill Clinton? Goodness gracious, we always knew that Bill was brilliant. Why else would we forgive his other transgressions?

Here's the thing. If you're smart, we're willing to cut you a bunch of slack. Talk to us about the rest. We cats PURR.

"The Only Person Who Should Speak For 'Lady Bird' Is Greta Gerwig"

THANK YOU, guy producer or whoever you are at the Golden Globes, for recognizing that the creative drive behind one of 2017's most well-received films IS A WOMAN. We cats are annoyed that we have to purr, but because we love Greta Gerwig, we still PURR.

Time's A-Wastin'

By Zamboni

It's 304 days to Election Day 2018. That's 304 days in which the Republicans in Congress will have to sell their rape-America tax bill and other appalling shenanigans to the voters, or risk losing control of the legislative branch.

They may not mention that last part, but they freely admit they have a sales job ahead of them. "We’re more than happy to take our argument [for the tax bill] to the American people in an election contest," Mitch McConnell said last month.

Hm. We'll see about that. Republican Congressional leaders dicked around Camp David today with the narcissistic sociopath who currently occupies the Oval Office, and we assume they discussed tax-bill selling and other campaign strategies. But from where we sit, it looks like for the GOP, today was another day wasted on the Fire and Fury furor. At his presser this afternoon, did Trump get questions about anything other than whether he's stark raving mad?

Not a great start for the New Year for these folks, and it won't end any time soon. Tomorrow Michael Wolff will be on "Meet the Press," and we don't see a single Republican in this Sunday show lineup who will be able to spend time selling the GOP agenda. It'll be all Fire and Fury, all the time.

Another day lost. Down to 303 and counting. We cats PURR.

We Must Take Congress Back (Or The Country's Done For)

By Sniffles

Democrats: Do you need some inspiration to go out and knock on doors in Election 2018? Here you go.

"A year ago, Republicans met the incoming Trump administration with a combination of giddy anticipation and deep misgivings.

"The anticipated gains have been largely, if not completely met. But the worst of their fears have also been confirmed. The President is unbalanced, apparently in a state of mental decline, congenitally undemocratic, and quite obviously guilty of a wide array of misdeeds. The party's response to these facts is to commit itself fully to obstruction and perversion of justice.

"Christopher Ruddy, the conservative publisher and Trump buddy, casually boasts that the defenestration of Bannon proves, 'The base is owned and operated by Donald Trump.' Likewise, the Congressional party is owned and operated by its base. Bannon's exit has paved the way for the full subordination of the legislative branch by its mad king."

—Jonathan Chait, New York Magazine

The Stuff Of Mike Pence's Nightmares

By Baxter

Boy, do we love this photo. That's Doug Jones, Democrat of Alabama, being sworn in as Senator by the homophobic religious zealot Mike Pence, while Jones's gay son, Carson, looks on. ("Looks on" as in, "Mangez merde and die, sucker!")

This is delicious not just because as Governor of Indiana, Pence suffered nationwide embarrassment over his "religious freedom" law (and did a one-eighty on it because, of course, Pence is nothing if not an opportunist) — but also because pedophile and faux-Christian Roy Moore, whom Jones smote in the Senate race, tried to out Carson after the election on his Face Thing page.

It was a futile gesture, and Mike Pence was stuck having to swear in Jones the other day. While we revel in the sweet revenge, we can't help noticing that Louise Jones, looking away from Pence, had the better view. We cats PURR.

Influenza 2018

By Miss Kubelik

What does it mean when more Idahoans have died from influenza at this point in the flu season than in the last seven years?

Well, chances are that makes fewer Republicans heading to the polls in the Gem State this year, since Idaho is one of the country's deepest shades of red. But it also makes us wonder if our government is prepared for a major national flu outbreak. In case you've noticed, things aren't exactly running smoothly in Washington these days. And since scientists have already been gagged by the Trumpsters, it's pretty easy to be skeptical about how transparent this Administration would be in a pandemic.

A hundred years ago, the government bungled the flu for the sake of wartime morale. We'd like to think that communications about an epidemic would be better today. But Washington is in chaos. Let's hope that, unlike the Trump crowd of incompetents, Nazis and traitors — with whom, thanks to the soullessly complicit Republicans in Congress, we appear to be hopelessly stuck — this year's strain of influenza will simply run its course. We cats HISS.

Utah's Political Winds Might Surprise Everyone.

By Zamboni

After a whirlwind and not-a-little-embarrassing courtship, Orrin Hatch has refused Donald Trump's overtures and will retire from the Senate after all. We assume he'll do this without getting Congress to renew CHIP. (Screw all those kids with cancer!)

And of course the lazy media have proclaimed that Hatch's decision "opens the way" for Willard Mitt Romney to claim the seat. Now, we're not totally against Willard making the move, although Brian Fallon makes a good point about failed Presidential candidates and knitting. The GOP's 2012 nominee certainly has the potential to drive Trump even crazier than he already is — but none of us should assume that this race is Willard's for the taking.

Here's why:

1) Even with a Romney candidacy, there likely will be a Republican primary. No telling what will happen there.

2) The Democrats already have two credible candidates. In short, we're not ceding this seat just because it's Utah.

3) The Mitch McConnell-Steve Bannon war, kinda quiet since the Roy Moore debacle last month, will flame anew. Both will drop zillions of dollars into this race: Mitch because he can't afford to lose Utah the way he lost Alabama, and Bannon because he needs a win in one of the reddest red states.

So, bottom line: Assume nothing. It's 2018, with a blue wave on the way. And does the Hatch announcement portend more GOP retirements as members trudge back to Congress this week? We cats PURR.

P.S. Speaking of elections to watch, check out US House District 12 in Florida: Democrat Chris Hunter has declared he'll run against Republican six-termer Gus Bilirakis. What's so special? Hunter is a former FBI agent. Who'da thought that if a Bureau veteran ran, he'd be on the Democratic side? Could this have anything to do with Trump's Russia infatuation and his attacks on Comey, Mueller and Wray? We cats PURR again.

New Year, New Marches, New Voters

By Sniffles

Did you think that last January's historic Women's March on Washington was just a one-off? Guess again. We cats are excited to report that organizers across the country will be kicking off 2018 with a bang — to mark the one-year Women's March anniversary and spearhead voter registration drives to take the House (and maybe even the Senate) back.

Power to the Polls will hold its main rally on January 21, 2018 in Las Vegas (take note, endangered Nevada Senator Dean Heller), but we're getting wind of lots of other events in different states. Neat!

So break out those pink pussy hats again, folks. It's also a great way to stay warm on these frozen winter days. We cats PURR.