"Death To America"? More Like Death To The Planet.

By Baxter

We just want to say that if Iraqi protesters (or whoever they were) had stormed the US embassy in Baghdad while Obama, Clinton or Carter were President, the Republicans would be screaming not just to impeach but to draw and quarter. Because that's the way they are. Believe us, we know.

But on this New Year's Eve, we take a break from Trump-inspired Middle East chaos to return to the Land Down Under.

The fires that are ravaging Australia (and being ignored by the country's Conservative government) are so upsetting that we can barely think about anything else. We're clinging to stories about cyclists giving water to thirsty koalas and first responders rescuing scared possum mums and babies that they found hiding under cars. We're rooting for kangaroos who were videoed hopping en masse from the flames. We're trying not to dwell on estimates that half a billion animals have been killed.

And we're heartened by the fact that a TV host on New Year's Eve dedicated a song to hapless and evil Prime Minister Scott Morrison: "The Honeymoon Is Over." To all Australian voters: We leave Morrison's well-deserved comeuppance in your capable hands.

The 1959 film "On the Beach" portrayed Australia as the last bastion of civilization after global nuclear war. How ironic that the continent is now the harbinger of Earth's environmental doom. We cats hope that the silver lining in this very dark cloud is that Australia's Armageddon will wake people up to the threat that climate change poses to us all. Some very big changes are in store. Brace yourselves. Happy New Year.

Seeing Red

By Sniffles

Do you know Prime Minister Scott Morrison of Australia? Perhaps you don't keep up with political goings-on there. But you may recall that the coal-loving Morrison is a new best friend of Benedict Donald Trump, who feted him with a state dinner just this past September.

These days, though, it's pretty hard to ignore news from the Land Down Under. The country has literally been on fire. You also won't be surprised to hear that Morrison and his cronies are climate-change deniers — in fact, Morrison was on vacation in Hawaii during the crisis, and had to be shamed into returning, which he grudgingly did.

But things are getting worse. Tonight, 4,000 people are trapped on a beach in Mallacoota, on the south coast. With the flames bearing down on them, they've been told to plunge into the ocean if they have to.

You wonder: What it will take to get the Trumpsters and their fanboys like Morrison to change their tune on climate? Obviously, they don't have the balls to admit that a zillion scientists are right and they're wrong. They aren't manly enough to concede that 16-year-old Greta Thunberg has a point. Would the fiery deaths of 4,000 people do it?

We're not wishing such an awful fate on those folks. But since singed koalas and kangaroos haven't moved people to action, maybe Mallacoota will. We cats are disgusted and depressed, and we HISS.

(UPDATE #1: From the Australian edition of The Guardian: "People reported hearing gas bottles explode as the fire front reached [Mallacoota], and the sound of sirens telling people to get in the water.")

(UPDATE #2: "The power is cut. We are isolated. It's a holocaust, basically...There's a lot of thunder. The fires are creating their own weather.")

Let's Keep This Legend Living A Little Longer, Please

"I have been in some kind of fight — for freedom, equality, basic human rights — for nearly my entire life. I have never faced a fight quite like the one I have now.

"This month in a routine medical visit, and subsequent tests, doctors discovered stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This diagnosis has been reconfirmed.

"While I am clear-eyed about the prognosis, doctors have told me that recent medical advances have made this type of cancer treatable in many cases, that treatment options are no longer as debilitating as they once were, and that I have a fighting chance.

"So I have decided to do what I know to do, and do what I have always done: I am going to fight it and keep fighting for the Beloved Community. We still have many bridges to cross.

"To my constituents: Being your representative in Congress is the honor of a lifetime. I will return to Washington in coming days to continue our work and begin my treatment plan, which will occur over the next several weeks. I may miss a few votes during this period, but with God's grace I will be back on the front lines soon.

"Please keep me in your prayers as I begin this journey."

—Representative John Lewis (D-GA)

(PHOTO: Pete Souza)

He Was Off To See Walter. Why?

By Hubie and Bertie

Is it possible that representatives of the mainstream news media will ever write about people who are not Trumpsters? After all, there are so many more of us. We swear! Just look at Benedict Donald's disapproval ratings or the impeach-and-remove polls for proof.

But, sigh — apparently not. Once again, The New York Times has decided that a pathetic confab of 100 Trumpsters in Arizona is worthy of space in and on its pages. Is it because one or two of the MAGAts threatened violence if Benedict Donald is defeated in 2020? Tosh. Giving breathless coverage to every promise they make of a second Civil War just breathes more oxygen into their nuttiness.

One thing in the story got our attention, though: Their bluster about how many Trumpsters will vote once Benedict Donald is back on the ballot (as opposed to 2018 and 2019, when Democrats won). It makes you wonder: What if Trump is not the Republican candidate next year?

We're not predicting conviction in the Senate, although goodness knows anything could happen. We're questioning — since journalists appear to have forgotten — why Trump had to make that hasty visit to Walter Reed last month. Has he golfed since? We don't think so. Has he shown additional signs of dementia? Definitely yes.

The media never aggressively pursued Melania's alleged 2018 kidney condition. But then, she doesn't have the nuclear codes. So we hope somebody out there in Journalism World makes getting the truth about Trump's mental and physical health his or her mission. We Democrats would like to know whom we'll be facing next year. Meanwhile, we HISS.

Jerry Herman, 1931-2019

This is not an entertainment blog, but this sublime bit of musical theater has also come to have profound political meaning. We cats salute its composer, and we PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Boxing Day/First Day Of Kwanzaa Edition

By Miss Kubelik

We cats refuse to hop onto any "end of the decade" bandwagon. It is not the end of a decade! And anyway, even if it were, who cares? Here are some other, far more worthy, thoughts that are occupying us between naps.

Speaking of ridiculous memes we want no part of, the alleged "war" between Baby Boomers and Millennials is as phony as the "war" on Christmas.

The only war we see right now is the one going on between evangelicals. It seems that the vastly immoral gangster and grifter known as Donald Trump is the hill that some so-called Christians have chosen to die on. Now, with the Christian Post set to go after Christianity Today for calling for Trump's impeachment and removal, the Post's politics editor is preparing to quit. It's amazing that Trump is any self-professed Christian's hero. Is controlling women's bodies really that important to them?

Perhaps you remember Paul Gosar, the bizarre nutjob Republican Congressman from Arizona whose own siblings campaigned against him? He appears to be vying for the Donald Trump Wackiest Twitter Rampages prize this week. On Christmas Eve, he tweeted (and retweeted) an endless clip of the Clintons' brush with a falling Klieg light on "60 Minutes" in 1992. Nobody's really sure what he's trying to say with that, although Chelsea Clinton had a snappy riposte. Now, he's bleating about lefties going after everyone's guns, which has gotten him on Fred Guttenberg's bad side. Our advice to Gosar: It's Christmas. Try not to hate just for a day.

Finally, take note of this: Lisa Murkowski of Alaska has put a tiny dent in Senate Republicans' wall of ignorant support for the now-impeached Donald Trump. While we disagree with Murkowski's assessment that the House should have waited for the courts to force Don McGahn and Mick Mulvaney to testify — they had more than enough evidence to proceed — let's give Murkowski the room she needs to influence other members of her party. Slamming her on social media won't help. She voted against Kavanaugh, remember. We cats PURR.

Values

By Zamboni

This Christmas, we cats are thinking about Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter. Mainly because we were just at a party at which the Carters were a prominent topic of discussion.

Our fellow party attendees said they admired the Carters because they truly lived their values. We agree. And we would hasten to point out: What public figures today do that? Can we name them?

Okay, we'll start: Nancy Pelosi. She was adamantly against impeachment for a whole bunch of really persuasive political reasons. Until the Ukraine revelations happened, and then it became clear that the House had to hold the President accountable in order to defend the Constitution. That was Jimmy-like, Rosalynn-like.

Meanwhile, we're convinced that the more people come to understand the teachings of Jesus, the more left-wing they become. Jesus was an agitator, a disrupter. He made people uncomfortable. His teachings are very difficult to follow. So perhaps tonight's message is: Don't try to dictate them to others. Explore them for yourselves. That's all we cats have to say this Christmas Eve. And we PURR.

Accentuating The Positive

By Baxter

The news is pretty dismal this holiday season, what with Benedict Donald, Congressional Republicans and climate change all getting worse by the hour. So to calm ourselves down, we've decided to do a gratitude exercise. Here are some of the the things we're grateful for this holiday.

The editor of Christianity Today has refused to take back his scathing editorial calling for Trump's impeachment and removal. Good. Now the National Review has jumped on the impeach-and-remove bandwagon, too. Who's next?

POLITICO's Morning Consult — the first national poll taken after the House vote — reported 52 percent of respondents in favor of impeachment and removal. Thank you, clear-thinking Americans. May more of our fellow citizens join you.

We're grateful to have Canada to escape to when we need it.

We appreciate journalists like Daniel Dale, who has the dedication (and the stomach) to track Benedict Donald's never-ending litany of lies and report on them. The latest: 45 ways Trump has been fibbing about Ukraine. Thank you, Daniel — we hope Santa brings you a lifetime supply of Tums.

Most of all, we're grateful that the Blue Wave swept across America in 2018, because it brought us a Democratic House, a boatload of great bills (that #MoscowMitch refuses to take action on), Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and impeachment. The Wave didn't just happen, of course — Democrats worked their butts off. So, rest up this holiday, everyone, because we're going to have to gear up and do it again in 2020. We cats PURR.

Spirits Of Christmas

"Business? Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business."

Charles Dickens may have lived and died 150 years ago, but he was outraged by a lot of things that, sadly, are still with us today. Like poverty. Tonight, we cats saw a woman rummaging in the garbage in the Montreal subway, and we gave her a toonie. It was a drop of water in the ocean, but it was all we could think of to do at the moment. So may God bless us, every one.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Friday Before Christmas Edition

By Sniffles

About mid-afternoon, we cats noticed that our email was slowing down. (With a couple of exceptions, of course. There are always exceptions.) Still, we have some political questions on our minds. So if you've adjourned to the nearest pub for the weekend and are reading this, here they are.

Former Senator Jeff Flake has published an op-ed in The Washington Post. "The President Is On Trial. So Are My Senate Republican Colleagues." JFC, do we care what Jeff Flake has to say? BIG no. Jeff, you were worthless when you were in office — voting for Kavanaugh and what-not — so you're even more worthless now. Go away.

There's a state representative in Washington State who, according to an independent investigation inspired by coverage from The Guardian, was engaged "in an act of domestic terrorism against the United States" — yep, you read that right — by planning armed conflicts against the government. Naturally, he's a Republican. We're trying to figure out why people like this run to serve in a government they clearly hate. Kinda makes you think all the accusations about "the deep state" are just more Trumpy projections.

Yes, we are very, very worried about the notion that the President of the United States is taking direction from Vladimir Putin.

We've probably visited a wine cave or two in our time, but haven't thought much about them — until last night. Now, we've decided that we want one. Santa, we hope you're listening.

Holy smokes — watch this video of Trump in an interview with Wolf Blitzer, praising Nancy Pelosi, and you will be amazed at his deterioration. Not just politically — mentally and verbally. Incredible.

Finally, in the category of Republicans Behaving Badly, let's give a special shout-out to former (and very bitter) GOP Governor Matt Bevin of Kentucky, who couldn't resist a final "fuck-you-out-the-door" pardoning of a bunch of murderers and decapitators.

Even Republicans were horrified (but what does that mean, in that pathetic party?). What revolts us most is that Bevin decided a child rapist was innocent because his nine-year-old victim's hymen was still intact. More proof that GOP men have no idea how women's and girls' bodies work. So why do Republican women still entrust their destinies to them? A question for the ages. We cats HISS.

"Cruelty Is Not Wit"

By Hubie and Bertie

By now everybody in the world knows that Benedict Donald was rude about John Dingell last night. That would be John Dingell who was the longest-serving member of Congress and still holds that record in death. Yep, he's dead — recently dead, in fact. You'd think that would put him off-limits for jokes. At least, for decent people.

You'd also think that it might be a mistake to josh boorishly about John Dingell while you're at a rally in Michigan, Dingell's home state. But as we said, only decent people would avoid doing that.

Representative Debbie Dingell, who succeeded her husband in Congress, tweeted a well-deserved rebuke to Trump last night.

"Mr. President, let’s set politics aside," she wrote. "My husband earned all his accolades after a lifetime of service. I’m preparing for the first holiday season without the man I love. You brought me down in a way you can never imagine and your hurtful words just made my healing much harder."

A few Republicans have criticized Trump for his bad behavior, but mostly those who aren't running for re-election, it seems. So once again, the GOP is a profile in cowardice.

When something like this happens — and with Benedict Donald, it happens a lot — we cats think of a famous retort that former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau once made. After he was told Richard Nixon had called him an "asshole," Trudeau responded, "I've been called worse things by better men."

John Dingell was a giant. Donald Trump is the littlest man on earth. We cats despise him, and we HISS.

Merry Impeachmas, And To All A Good Night

Here is Trump, photographed before leaving for his Battle Creek, Michigan, "show" tonight. Is this the picture of someone who feels on top of the world? We cats PURR.

Woman In Charge

By Miss Kubelik

Tonight is the first time in Benedict Donald's life that a woman has successfully bitch-slapped him. Doesn't it feel good?

The impeachment vote in the House wasn't close. The fact that a few Democrats peeled off on one article (and that the execrable Tulsi Gabbard voted "present" on both) is actually an argument for the strength of the charges, not their weakness.

The Speaker of the House allowed her caucus to vote their consciences — the only viable approach when it comes to preserving the Constitution — and the fact that a handful of our team felt able to do so is a great, great thing. (Tulsi, being Vladimir Putin's spoiler of choice, is exempted from this compliment.)

Meanwhile, after the votes the Republicans all left the floor and ran away. They canceled their press conference. That's what you do when you can't defend the person in question's behavior. Please, journalists, check the bars on Capitol Hill — what Republicans are there getting blasted? Must be a lot.

All we know is, the Constitution is our anchor. Those who choose to defend it are our heroes — like Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Elijah Cummings, and, most of all, Nancy Pelosi. None of the Democrats who fussed about replacing her after the 2018 blue wave could have handled this situation as brilliantly as Pelosi has. She is truly a she-coon. She makes us cats PURR.

Trump Sat Right Down And Wrote Himself A Letter

By Zamboni

The comments on social media are right-on tonight. "The Unabomber wrote better letters than this." "And he said Greta Thunberg had anger management issues?" "No one gets more upset than a narcissist who's being accused of something he actually did." "That letter was written by an insane person whose keepers should be ashamed of themselves."

That last one really resonated with us. We know from personal experience that letters from the President are gone over (and over and over and over) with a fine-toothed comb before they ever see the light of day. At least, that's how it used to work. Whoever on the White House staff allowed this piece of foolscap to go out needs to give his/her taxpayer-funded salary back. Several times.

But of course the main point about the letter is projection. Classic, classic case. With Benedict Donald, every accusation is a confession.

Are Senate Republicans just going to let this go by, too? Let's call their attention to the following Washington Post/ABC poll:

• 71% of Americans say that Trump aides (Mulvaney, Bolton, McGahn, et. al.) should testify at the Senate trial
• 55% say that the House proceedings have been fair (not a "coup")
• 49% say that Trump should be impeached and removed (versus 46% who say no)

And it's only the middle of December.

While we've noted that Willard Mitt Romney continues to serve as the GOP's leading profile in cowardice, he's not up for re-election next year. We wonder instead, then, what Cory Gardner, Richard Burr, Susan Collins, Martha McSally, Lisa Murkowski and Joni Ernst are thinking in their secret heart of hearts. When will enough be enough?

Benedict Donald brought this on a Republican Party that, quislings that they are, decided to embrace him in 2016 and try to ride the tiger. Will they stay silent until they're inside that tiger? Or will someone have guts enough to jump off? It could only take one. We cats HISS.

Buckling To Holiday Hate

By Baxter

When we cats learned that people were boycotting the Hallmark Channel, we thought, too late. Way ahead of you.

Why would anyone watch that sanitized, too-neat, and — worst of all — incredibly boring programming? We don't, and surely nobody else is.

Well, we stand corrected. It appears that 85 million people are tuning in to the channel's "Countdown to Christmas" movie marathon. Goodness gracious. That's a lot of potential boycotters.

So the uproar when Hallmark scrapped four commercials that showed two women kissing at the altar was a serious thing. After four days of boycott-inspired hashtags and corporate "agonizing," the channel reversed its decision.

This is good news, but also frustrating in its stupidity. The whole kerfuffle could have been avoided if Hallmark had not chosen to knee-jerk-react to a pissy petition from One Million Moms, a right-wing group that fights "filth" in entertainment. Yep, the ecstatic couple pictured above is the very essence of that, all right.

Actually, One Million Moms is a hate group, in our humble opinion. They openly campaign against all LGBT content, thinking that gay people will just go away if nobody sees them.

Therefore, even though we wouldn't be caught dead tuning in an insipid Hallmark Christmas movie or anything else on that channel, we applaud their decision to put the ads back on — and hope that from now on, they'll fill the airwaves with a boatload of feel-good gay films. That would make us PURR.

And Now For A Change Of Pace

Quite a few major deaths in the entertainment world this year. Sometimes, we cats suspect that Turner Classic Movies puts the person they think is the most important at the end. Watch and see if you agree. In that spirit, we'd like someone to do a political version of "TCM Remembers" and end it with Elijah Cummings. Gosh, we miss him.

Remembering Sandy Hook

Here are the lives that were lost so that the NRA can keep members of Congress in its pocket. We cats HISS.

We Think That We Will Never See

By Sniffles

We cats have trekked north to Canada for the lead-up to the holidays. We have a wonderful, full-sized Christmas tree at home (or, as some would call it, a giant cat toy). But for our stay in Montreal, there's nothing better than a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

It takes one minute to set up, parks very nicely on a coffee table, and still asks its owners for a little bit of love.

In these awful political times, it's comforting to remember things like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" — the music, the sentiment and, of course, the tree. We cats PURR.

Valorous Val

By Hubie and Bertie

Congresswoman Val Demings of Florida has called upon #MoscowMitch McConnell to recuse himself from Benedict Donald's Senate impeachment trial, and rightly so.

After McConnell told FOX "News" that he was coordinating the trial with the White House, Demings came out with guns blazing.

"No court in the country would allow a member of the jury to also serve as the accused’s defense attorney. The moment Senator McConnell takes the oath of impartiality required by the Constitution, he will be in violation of that oath," Demings said.

Let's just say two things: One, that we would not want to be in any kind of a tussle with Val Demings, because we'd be on the losing side. Two, that anyone who says the outcome of this whole impeachment drama is already foretold needs to take it back. Nobody knows what tomorrow may bring. We cats PURR.

"Dignity, Always Dignity"

By Miss Kubelik

If you're feeling politically exhausted (and who isn't?), we don't blame you. We're experiencing a touch of it ourselves.

The President of the United States is harassing a 16-year-old girl on Twitter. (#BeBest?) DUI dude Matt Gaetz goes after Hunter Biden on substance abuse. (Thankfully, Democratic Congressman Hank Johnson of Georgia gave him his comeuppance.) Fat Mike Huckabee is claiming that Trump will be eligible to run against in 2024. (Sorry, nope.) And we haven't even mentioned Bill Barr yet.

Meanwhile, the UK is voting. Something about "Berxit" (see above). Loathing Boris Johnson as we do, and feeling not much more positive about Jeremy Corbyn, we're not into it. So we've decided to focus on stupid typos instead.

Actually, there is one more thing, and it's a picker-upper: Dogs at the voting stations. Apparently it's a tradition for Britons to have their pooches come to the polls. Which is cute. We admit we'd rather see folks bring their felines — but if it's a choice between "Berxit" and Bowser, we'll take Bowser. We cats PURR.

She Going To Have A Statue Someday

This brilliant photograph by Pete Marovich of The New York Times manages to simultaneously depict how, since the founding of our nation, our Constitution has become more inclusive, our Congress more representative — and how much Nancy Pelosi rocks. We cats PURR.

Somebody's Gonna Be Mad

Our only regret is that they didn't pick Nancy Pelosi. Still, this is pretty swell. We cats PURR.

"Something Is Very Wrong"

We cats haven't endorsed a Democrat in the 2020 race yet, but with Russia's foreign minister in the Oval Office today, the situation feels urgent. This ad continues to say it well.

Suggestions For Normalcy

By Zamboni

Recently we cats opined that the election of 2020 would be a throwback to 1920 in one respect: After years of Benedict Donald's grifting, his indignities against the office and his abuse of both power and people, voters will be dying for a Return to Normalcy.

Democrats will benefit from this yearning, provided we nominate the right candidate. (By that we mean, not Marianne Williamson.) One of the reasons we think Joe Biden is formidable is because personality-wise, he represents goodness, decency and the politics of joy.

So it's surprising that Biden (or any other Democrat) hasn't yet issued a list of "get back to normal" pledges. To fill the vacuum, therefore, we've come up with a few ourselves. Try these on for size:

• Real serious stuff first: The United States will immediately re-enter the Paris Climate Accord.
• The White House Press Secretary will be a competent person who has never been arrested for DUI and who will hold press briefings at least four days a week.
• No violations the Hatch Act. As in, no shilling for fashion accessories, etc., on the White House lawn.
• No tweeting. Ever.
• The President will sit back in his/her chair like a normal person, not perched on the edge like a toilet. 
• All Cabinet and other Senate-confirmed positions will be real people, not "acting."
• Everybody is going to treat everybody else with respect.
• Holiday decorations in the Executive Mansion will be merry merry and happy happy — not something out of a haunted house.
• The President will attend the Kennedy Center Honors again.
• The Presidential Records Act shall not be flouted. No more illicit document storage on secret servers. No yammering with world leaders on unsecured phones.
• There will be complete transparency on the President's physical and mental health. And the First Spouse's, come to think of it.
• The First Family shall have a pet. Preferably a cat (but dog OK).
• No evangelical nutcases on the public payroll.
• Red baseball caps verboten (except at Nationals Park).

And of course, all those horrible policies, judges, executive orders, etc. that this awful Administration has committed will be reversed. There's just no room to record them all here.

This is the list for now — take it and run with it, Democrats. We cats reserve the right to add to it, and we PURR.

Caged

By Baxter

Benedict Donald brought two US soldiers who had been convicted of war crimes — and whom he had pardoned — to a closed-door Republican fundraiser in Florida yesterday.

It makes perfect sense: Trump and the GOP are guilty of crimes against humanity at our southern border, so why shouldn't Trump parade a couple of budding Slobodan Milosevics at his event? We're sure they helped him raise a ton of money.

But the detentions and family separations that this godawful Administration continues to commit against refugees and migrants have not gone unnoticed this holiday season. Check out this nativity scene outside the United Methodist Church of Claremont, California.

"Shortly after the birth of Jesus," wrote senior minister Karen Clark Ristine, "Joseph and Mary were forced to flee with their young son from Nazareth to Egypt to escape King Herod, a tyrant....What if this family sought refuge in our country today?"

Another nativity is inside — minus the cages. Every single damn church in America should have displays like this. That is, if churches practiced what they preach. We cats HISS.

Wanted: One Intervention

By Sniffles

We cats have detected a shift in tone among the never-Trumper former Republican commentators like Jennifer Rubin, Max Boot, Ana Navarro and Rick Wilson. Where they were previously exasperated by the Republican Party's willingness to hop aboard the Benedict Donald Express for its own cynical ends, the Rubins, Boots, Navarros and Wilsons of the world have noticed that Republicans are now turning a blind eye not just to impeachable offenses but to mental decline.

And it's reaching new crescendos with Toilet Gate. (Sorry, we're fresh out of creative names for this one.)

It's long been apparent that Trump doesn't understand climate change — he constantly speaks of it in terms of clean air, clean water. We long assumed that it was A). his natural resistance to learning, B). laziness, and/or C). an attempt to deflect the argument. But after yesterday's bizarre comments about toilet flushing, it's clear: He not only is clueless about environmental issues. He's in the throes of full-blown dementia.

One wonders what the small business owners at the table with him were thinking as he went on and on about the inability to wash one's hands with low water pressure, or to adequately flush with high-efficiency johns. To be sure, his general toilet experience is a gold-plated one, and we have no idea whether such pissoirs are environmentally friendly or not. But this latest rambling was off the charts.

The question remains whether Trump will actually be at the top of the Republican ticket next year. Impeachment is looming, more evidence is being uncovered, and at some point the GOP may decide that the tipping point is close enough that they'll have to give him the heave-ho. We're not kidding ourselves that this is a given, but let's put it this way: It's possible. For now, however, Republicans seem to be content with having a nutcase in charge of the nuclear football. We cats HISS.

(UPDATE: Benedict Donald, in his own words today: "Right now in a number of states the laws allow a baby to be born from his or her mother's womb in the ninth month. It is wrong. It has to change." We rest our case.)

Lest We Furr-get: Ecole Polytechnique

By Hubie and Bertie

Thirty years ago today, a jackass whom we now would call an incel stormed the Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal and gunned down 14 victims, all women. In one classroom, he separated the men from the women before he opened fire. He screamed that they were all feminists and deserved to die. He killed himself before police could capture him.

It's a sobering reminder that other countries besides the United States have had horrible experiences with gun violence. But we still have the corner on mass shootings, don't we?

In her town hall on CNN last night, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi caught our attention with a vile statistic. The Democratic House has passed and sent to Mitch McConnell's desk 400 bills, none of which the Senate has taken action on. Two are companion bills on sensible gun regulation. Since their passage in the House, the Speaker said, 25,000 Americans have died in gun violence.

That is stunning. Yes, the massacre at Ecole Polytechnique continues to be a nightmarish memory for Canada. But that's 24,986 fewer gun victims than the US has had just since February. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: From the Montreal Gazette. This victim survived.)

Fightin' Dems

By Miss Kubelik

Today both Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden got mad, and we cats loved it.

Pelosi smacked down a "journalist" from Sinclair Broadcasting who asked her if she "hated" Donald Trump. Biden told an Iowa voter — an old, white-guy farmer who you just know voted for Trump — a "damn liar" after the man accused him of selling access to President Obama.

Good for both of them.

First, Pelosi: That dude from right-wing Sinclair may have to kick himself for giving the Speaker of the House such a golden moment to instruct the American people on impeachment. Did he really think that if he repeated a Republican talking point, she wouldn't be able to knock it out of the park? This is what happens when ignorant ideologues masquerading as reporters posture for "big moments" instead of asking serious questions.

As for Joe, we say three cheers for not putting up with any, um, malarkey. Maybe four cheers. We remember how we cringed back in 2004 when our nominee John Kerry said he wasn't going to push back on the Swift Boat smears. The three-time Purple Heart winner didn't know you have to put up a fight? You have to make the bullies back down.

This morning, Kerry endorsed Biden for 2020. If Kerry had fought the Swift Boat lies in '04 like he should have, he could have made today's endorsement as a former President. But — aarrrggghhhh. We cats HISS.

P.S. We love Biden's new ad about Laughingstock Trump. We cats PURR.

National Mood

By Zamboni

The 300-page report from the House Intelligence Committee is out, and it's a comprehensive summary of Benedict Donald's perfidy: abuse of power, obstruction of Congress, endangering national security for his own political benefit, just to name a few. Any Presidential scholar would testify that this is pretty stunning stuff.

Americans should be flipping out. However, our country is big, rich and powerful enough that people can afford not to think about, care about or participate in government if they don't feel like it. It's not what the founders envisioned — they said our democracy needed to rest upon an informed, participatory citizenry — but unless our system is in dire peril, the nation's ho-hum approach (with civil servants, activists and political junkies filling in the gaps) has worked pretty okay so far.

Well, welcome to dire peril. It's all there in the impeachment report.

Will voters read it, or at least skim it, and understand? Will they take their concerns about abuse of power with them into the voting booths next year? It's hard to tell. Trump's treason is beyond Watergate, and these are different times from 1974. One thing we can predict, though, is that 2020 will resemble 1920 in a singular way.

One hundred years ago, America had survived the double whammies of World War I and the 1918 flu epidemic. People longed for life to just calm down again. As it turned out, the victorious Presidential candidate in 1920 promised "a return to normalcy." We think that in 2020, Americans will be motivated by similar longings.

They may not know a lot about government or impeachment or the balance of power or corruption. But surely they're sick and tired of Trump and his antics. Today's events at the NATO summit are more fuel for that fire: Benedict Donald is so boorish and offensive that our allies' leaders laugh at him behind his back and, when he finds out, he childishly cancels a presser and leaves early.

Even if you're not a political animal, Trump's behavior seeps down into your consciousness. The ignorance, the insults, the lies, the meandering sentences, the mock-orgasms, the terrible management, the badly fitting tuxedos, the creepy Christmas decorations — it all becomes too much to bear. Americans will certainly go to the polls next November with the words of Elijah Cummings ringing in their ears: "We've got to get back to normal!" We cats PURR.

Kamala Drops The Mic

via GIPHY

By Baxter

Two American women, both elected officials, fired off memorable tweets today.

One was a snappy comeback that brought wry grins to the faces of her disappointed supporters. The other was disgusting racist snark.

We'll start with the second, because we want to end this post on a high note. With Senator Kamala Harris dropping out of the Presidential race, tweeps were busy discussing how the next Democratic debate will have no people of color on the stage. Then Republican Congresswoman Liz Cheney beamed in with a beaut: "You forgot Pocahontas."

It took us about one second to report Cheney for abuse. Let's hope zillions of others do, too, and that the bitch gets her account suspended forever.

Senator Harris, however, had the last, best word.

After Benedict Donald — who should be too busy over in Europe to be tweeting — heard the news about Harris and quipped, "Too bad! We'll miss you, Kamala," the Senator shot back with this:

"Don't worry, Mr. President. I'll see you at your trial."

It's at nearly 300,000 likes as of now, and climbing every second. We cats PURR.

Front Page News

By Sniffles

If you've never attended a Benedict Donald "rally" (we prefer to call them "shows"), chances are good that you have no idea who this woman is. She would probably prefer that. But thanks to Trump and his cult followers, Lisa Page's professional life at the FBI, and her personal life as well, have been turned upside down.

You can get the whole story here, (it involves a lot of perfidy from DOJ, Rod Rosenstein and a worthless Trump cretin by the name of Sarah Isgur Flores) but here's the short version: After two-plus years of silence, former FBI counsel Page has finally decided to speak out because Trump mocked her with a fake orgasm at a show in October.

We've long tried to figure out why Benedict Donald is so obsessed with Page and her former FBI colleague (and inamorato) Peter Strzok. It's not like they're anybody. Despite Trumpster paranoia about the "deep state," their texts to one another are underwhelming — and they've been officially cleared of any bias. Maybe the real targets were bigger fish, and they were just unlucky enough to get in the line of fire?

As with everything Trump, it's unclear and confusing. At least, it was — until we saw Page's picture.

Trump wants to have sex with her. If he were still "Apprentice" host Donald Trump — sitting next to her on a plane, enticing her into a Bergdorf's dressing room, standing in an elevator or waiting backstage at "The Late Show with David Letterman" — he'd attack her instantly. But now he can't. He's in that big white prison at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, with a lock on his bedroom door and Melania on a separate floor. So he can only rail against Page and Strzok (whom he obviously, bitterly envies) on Twitter and at his shows.

It all makes us want to throw up. Will we ever have a President who isn't disgusting? We cats HISS.

Royal (And Non-Royal) Rumors

By Hubie and Bertie

Okay, we admit it: We bit. We beamed into Twitter for a quick Sunday-evening look and saw that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was trending. The rumor was she had checked out.

Whut? The only British monarch zillions of people have known is dead? Prince Charles is King? Canadian money just got uglier? We did a frantic search on the Google machine.

Turns out it's not true. It's not clear who started the rumor or why, but apparently Her Majesty is alive and well, and maybe onto her third gin and tonic by now.

Elizabeth is well-known for her stamina. She's got the genes (her mum lived to 101). On this side of the Atlantic, however, Benedict Donald can't say the same.

Not only is impeachment looming, but questions still swirl around Trump's hasty visit to Walter Reed a couple of weeks ago — on top of red flags raised by Anonymous in his/her behind-the-scenes-in-Trump-World book, A Warning. Trump's physical and, especially, mental health are wobbly, Anonymous says.

"He stumbles, slurs, gets confused, is easily irritated, and has trouble synthesizing information, not occasionally but with regularity...the President also can't remember what he's said or been told."

Syphilitic dementia? Emerging damage from years of Adderall abuse? Who knows? But don't forget, Trump is the same guy who slammed Hillary for having pneumonia and who said she was physically unfit to be President. So God save the Queen! We cats PURR.

La Neige Arrive

By Miss Kubelik

Last year about this time, we cats traveled to Wisconsin and got caught driving in a massive snowstorm. We probably used up at least two of our nine lives that night. Why? Because former Republican Governor Scott Walker, the cross-eyed college dropout, is an idiot.

Walker had just lost his bid for re-election and was on his way out the door come January. Maybe we're spoiled by the efficiency of snow clearing in New York State, but we drove from Chicago to the Green Bay area through the aforementioned storm and didn't see a single plow. We also couldn't really see the lane lines on the highway, so it was pretty scary. All Scott Walker's fault. Republicans don't believe in government, which means they don't believe in infrastructure, snow plows, salt trucks, or other things that improve people's safety and quality of life.

Tomorrow we're going to race home from Canada to beat "Winter Storm Ezekiel." Wish us luck — although we might not need it, since we'll be driving through a state with a Democratic Governor (which even Wisconsin has now). We cats PURR.

The Irishman

By Zamboni

It would have been great to have been at Washington's famous Irish pub, The Dubliner, Wednesday night — to see former Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley bitch-slap Homeland Security Trumpster Ken Cuccinelli.

Both went to Gonzaga College High School, whose alumni regularly gather at the pub on Thanksgiving Eve. (Who knew?) And as soon as O'Malley saw Cuccinelli walk in, he got in the Cootch's face.

The topic? Immigration and family separation, and shortly after the tongue-lashing began, Cuccinelli turned tail and ran. Later, O'Malley texted a reporter and accused Cuccinelli of being "the son of immigrant grandparents who cages children for a fascist President."

Gosh! We're in love. Where was this Martin O'Malley in 2016, instead of the fade-into-the-wallpaper guy who briefly ran for President that year? Somebody let us know, please. In the meantime, may Cuccinelli, Kirstjen Nielsen, Stephen Miller and their Trumpster ilk never, ever be able to walk into a pub, restaurant or any public space without being harassed out of it — for the rest of their lives. We cats PURR.

(PHOTO: Alex Wong/Getty Images. A Cuccinelli-eye view of Martin O'Malley the other night.)

And Now This...

A family photo that Michelle Obama just released on Twitter finally puts to rest a nagging question: Which Obama daughter is more beautiful? By this evidence — although they're both gorgeous — it's Sasha, hands down. We cats PURR.

Turkey Day Trivia

This is a good day to remember that the first Macy's parade balloon was not that annoying rodent from the Disney studio, but a cat. Here's Felix, from 1927. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We cats PURR.

No Sancutary From Sensible Gun Laws

By Baxter

These folks have a lot of guts. They are the parents of Roanoke broadcast journalist Alison Parker, who was killed on live TV by a crazy gunman (who probably would have been disarmed before the crime had there been red-flag laws in place in Virginia). Andy and Barbara Parker showed up at a Henry County Board of Supervisors meeting to speak against "Second Amendment sanctuaries." As you can see, they (and their friend in purple) were surrounded.

The board refused to allow Mrs. Parker to speak until after they had unanimously voted to disobey any gun-control laws passed by Virginia's evil new Democratic government. Later, when the Parkers returned home, they received a bunch of threats.

Ya gotta love that gun-nut crowd. Do you think they heard that a few counties over, just outside of Richmond, some idiot caused a panic at a Walmart when he accidentally shot his weapon in a restroom? Second Amendment Land is no place to live.

We feel for Andy and Barbara Parker, who tomorrow will be spending their fifth Thanksgiving without their daughter. One consolation: Chris Hurst, Alison Parker's fiance, sits in the Virginia House of Delegates today, having defeated an NRA candidate to represent the 12th District. We think we know how he'll vote on any gun legislation coming down the pike. We cats PURR.

Russia's Attacking America. Where Are The Republicans?

By Sniffles

Republican Senator John Neely Doofus Kennedy just walked back a comment he'd made earlier on FOX "News," that nobody knows who hacked the DNC server in 2016, Russia or Ukraine. "I was wrong...it was Russia to tried to hack the DNC computer," he said.

It's not clear why Senator Doofus suddenly realized that the truth would set him free. But there's something super-weird going on with Republicans and Russia.

Why is the party of Ronald Reagan on Russia's side?

In case you're about to make the argument that they want to win the 2020 election and don't care if it has to be done with Vladimir Putin's help, think again. Russia is attacking far more than "just" our elections. Here's a case in point:

"Russian hackers are holding hostage data from a Milwaukee-based company that provides technology services to more than 100 nursing homes across the country after the company couldn't afford a $14 million ransom demand," The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports.

"The hack against Virtual Care Provider Inc., which provides internet security and data storage services to nursing homes and acute-care facilities, means that some locations cannot access patient records, use the internet, pay employees or order crucial medications....Some affected facilities could be forced out of business, and patients' health is at risk if the data is not accessible."

The hackers apparently screwed up, thinking that Virtual Care Provider was a big corporation that could easily fork over zillions. But in reality, the company is much smaller, and a ransom of that size is out of the question. So everybody's stuck. The crooks can't get their money, and the victims can't get their data.

We already know that Republicans don't care about Americans' health, thanks to their relentless attacks on the Affordable Care Act. But you'd think that they'd care about companies being attacked and jobs lost. Because that's what's happening here.

Will somebody please explain why so many Republicans are silent on Russia? Where is Senator Ron Johnson (R-Wisconsin) on this one? (Oh! Johnson spent a recent July 4 in Moscow, didn't he?) Where's the Wisconsin Congressional delegation? Why is the GOP standing silently by while Benedict Donald sells out America to Putin? We cats HISS.

Yes, Please Ask Our Opinion

By Hubie and Bertie

The media's obsession with the red-hat crowd is frustrating. It seems like every time we turn around, there's another "analysis" of Trump voters or maybe-could-be Trump voters or, at the very least, all those white, working-class dudes WHOSE OPINIONS WE ARE SICK OF. Thank you for allowing us to shout.

Why don't reporters ever interview us, we wonder? Okay, we're cats. But why aren't journalists captivated by suburbanites who hate Donald Trump and can't wait to vote his ass out of office? There are many, many more of those folks than the MAGA crowd. (Because as we know, Benedict Donald's road shows draw the same people, over and over — who end up drifting out early because, well, they know how it ends.)

Well, until reporters recognize that other people besides Trumpsters live in America, we'll content ourselves with this summary of the voting in Virginia this month. It has interesting portents for next year:

1. Turnout was up, with most of those extra folks voting Democratic.

2. Voters are realigning to the Democratic Party even if they don't agree with every policy in our platform, because they're so turned off by the nativism and the hate of the GOP.

3. Trump damaged Republican candidates who otherwise would have had a chance.

So, asked The Roanoke Times, "is this the 'new normal,' or will future elections revert to the lower turnout of the past?" Seems to us that if Benedict Donald is at the top of the ticket and in control of the GOP, there will be no such reversion in 2020. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Here's To The Committee

By Zamboni

With the stuff that's coming out about Lev Parnas setting up meetings for Devin Nunes in Ukraine to manufacture dirt on Joe Biden, no one should assume that the impeachment hearings are done. But at the end of an eventful two weeks, we cats have a few thoughts about how the Intelligence Committee has fared so far.

Chairman Adam Schiff has been perfect. Perfect. There's no other word for him. Not only has he controlled the committee with a steely Zen resolve, his closing statements have been the stuff of literature. They should be published in a book, from day the first to day the last. It's a book that we cats would gladly buy — because every day, Schiff laid out the Democrats' case, clearly and succinctly and memorably. The fact that he quoted Elijah Cummings at the end sent chills up our spines. Well done, sir.

Sean Patrick Maloney surprised us with his excellent questioning and his apology to Fiona Hill for Republican Mike Turner's "epic mansplaining." We're glad Maloney didn't become New York State Attorney General (and that Tish James did) so that he would still be a member of the House and present to say this.

Val Demings — whoa, we cats are pretty fearless, but we don't think we'd want to run into Val in a dark alley. The word to describe Demings is one that's quite popular now: badass.

Jackie Speier is wonderful. Not only did she get off that great line about Trump's five Pinocchios, did you know that she survived five gunshot wounds at Jonestown in 1978? (See "badass," above.)

We loved Raj Krishnamoorthi's real-life cringe emoji after a chit-chat with our ridiculous Trumpster Congresswoman, Elise Stefanik. And we love that it went viral.

But Peter Welch probably had the best moment — and the fact that it came at the expense of the revolting Gym Jordan was doubly delicious. After Jordan bemoaned Republicans' inability to question the whistleblower ("the reason we're all sitting here," he groused), the Vermont Democrat had a ready answer. "I'd be glad to have the person who started it all come in and testify," he shot back. Benedict Donald, he said, "is welcome to take a seat right there." We cats PURR.

Fabulous, Formidable Fiona

By Miss Kubelik

Our first thoughts about Fiona Hill when we saw and heard her testimony today was that we're glad we don't work for her. It's not that we don't respect her brilliance. It's her refusal to suffer fools that scares us. Gosh, you'd have to be on your toes at the office, all day, every day.

No wonder the Republicans on the Intelligence Committee were racing for the litter box. (See that picture above? Bet she got that bandage on her hand from a knife fight.) Barely any of the GOP House members asked her questions — they just made speeches instead. It must have been wearying for her. She's more than earned an ice-cold, straight-up, olive-laden vodka martini tonight.

What's depressing is that the GOP members — our own Congresswoman among them, we're sorry to say — sat opposite this incredible woman and heard her speak the truth and still, still refused to be moved about the perfidy of Donald Trump. Exhibit "A" is Will Hurd, the lone African-American Republican Congressman who has announced his retirement and has nothing to lose. He said today that there was no there there on impeachment. Incredible.

They're being obstinate because 1) as noted, Fiona is scary, and 2) when you're deservedly called out for siding with Vladimir Putin, you have no choice but to dig your heels in the ever-shifting sands.

And the sands are indeed shifting. Anything can happen these next few weeks. But at this point Republicans should brace themselves for losing the Senate, the Presidency, and at least five more seats in the House in 2020. The elections in Virginia, Kentucky and Louisiana, and the recent outpouring of disgust with our newly Trumpy Congresswoman Stefanik have us edging closer to that prediction.

Oh, and having been destroyed, the GOP will then split into two parties: the Whigs and the Know-Nothings. You heard it here first. We cats HISS.

The Best Brains

By Baxter

The interwebs are abuzz with Benedict Donald's halting descent down the airplane steps in Texas this afternoon. Frankly, we've watched it a couple of times and we're not really seeing it. After all, nobody can negotiate steps (and shelves, and sills, and barn rafters) like us cats.

But this Sharpie-scrawled thing that Trump clutched in his tiny orange hand before boarding Marine One? This is odd.

Because you can't believe this White House about anything, statements they've made about Trump's visit to Walter Reed this past weekend are highly suspect. So tweeps and others are filling in the gaps with observation and speculation. First, it was stents. Now, thanks to this VERY BIG-LETTERED NOTE PAD, Trump's baby steps from the plane in Austin, and his lexical inadequacies — which seem to be getting worse — the word is stroke. Or TIA. Something neurological.

In recent years, Benedict Donald has declined to a sixth-grade or lower verbal level. The world has noted his deterioration for some time. But why would he need notes like this? They're simple thoughts and words.

Well, if the Russian-Asset-in-Chief is going gaga, that could be good news for Gordon Sondland. Maybe Trump will forget to fire him. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

Grisham, Gross

By Sniffles

Why are American taxpayers footing the bill for Stephanie Grisham's salary? She does nothing, not even White House press briefings. Note to Steph: Gurl, you need to give back every penny you haven't earned, before we come to get it from you.

When Grisham does deign to do her job, she lies. We're all still wondering whether we can trust her statements on Benedict Donald's sudden trip to Walter Reed this weekend. (Spoiler: We can't.) In the meantime — maybe to deflect attention? — she's made up a ridiculous story about outgoing Obama staffers leaving hate notes for Trumpsters to find. In every office, she said.

Republicans have tried this crap before. Remember the lies the Bush 43 people told about missing computer keys and other alleged pranks by the departing Clinton folks in January 2001? Total fiction. And now, Grisham has had to walk her accusations back.

Grisham deserves tp join Stephen Miller, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kirstjen Nielsen in the Can't-Eat-In-Public-Restaurants Club — although it's a pretty cushy punishment when you consider that Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman and his family may have to be moved to a military base for their safety. We cats HISS.

(IMAGE: Mug shots of Stephanie Grisham after her drunk driving arrests in 2013 and 2015.)

Fourteen Points

By Hubie and Bertie

Well, it's official: Congresswoman Elise Stefanik's silly gamesmanship at Friday's impeachment hearing has changed the political landscape right outside our front door.

"The sudden attention given to the race in New York's 21st Congressional District demonstrates how the nation's partisan divide can invigorate a little-noticed upstate outpost — covering a massive chunk of Adirondack forests and towns known as the North County — and turn it into a major electoral battleground," The New York Times reports.

The Times also reminds readers that our 2020 Democratic candidate, Tedra Cobb, lost to Stefanik by a hefty margin in 2018: 14 points. But we cats would argue that Tedra does not have to make up that much ground between her and the now-full-on-Trumpy Elise next year.

Those 14 points are not a monolith. Think of them in terms of these voters: There's Benedict Donald's base, made up of older white males with unhealthy lifestyles (and guns in the house), a lot of whom could be dead by next November. There are new residents who are moving here for cheaper real estate than they can find in the lower Hudson Valley, and who never knew Elise as the "moderate problem-solver" she always pretended to be. And finally, there are the independent and/or suburban voters, appalled and repulsed by Stefanik's embrace of Trump, who will vote against her just for that. (See: Louisiana, Kentucky.)

Things change awfully fast for this hapless, cowardly party known as the GOP, don't they? As of tonight, Elise Stefanik's got a race on her hands. Who'd have thought it? We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Tedra's smiling a lot these last few days.)

Elise Stefanik Starts To Realize That Maybe She's Done The Wrong Thing

By Miss Kubelik

Well, that's probably not what was on Elise Stefanik's mind at this point in Friday's impeachment hearing. Because this picture is from before Twitter (and the whole world) decided that Elise is a horrible person who needs to be booted from Congress next year.

Wonder what she's thinking now? Donations to her Democratic opponent Tedra Cobb have crossed the $1 million mark— in just 48 hours. Never underestimate the hatred of Trump and his enablers, of which our Congresswoman is suddenly one.

We have no idea what has prompted Elise to join Team Deplorable. She was always content to skate along on an undeserved "moderate" reputation. It was irritating to us Democrats who saw through it, but it was generally effective. Now, after her (in the words of George Conway) "trashy" stunt at the hearing and her subsequent Trumpy tweets, she could be a face on Mount Rushmore with Miss Gulch, Nurse Ratched and Cruella de Vil.

There's probably no going back for Elise. Trump has sealed the deal by tweeting favorably about her, so she's stuck doing more of the same this week. No doubt, however, that whatever antics she and her repulsive buddies Devin Nunes and Gym Jordan have up their sleeves, Adam Schiff will be ready. And Tedra Cobb will keep raising money. We cats PURR.