"We Don't Need A Walker"

On this Halloween night, it might be kind of nice to go the church. Enjoy! We cats PURR.

It All Makes Us Sick

By Hubie and Bertie

Second only to Vice President Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi is the most powerful woman in Washington. After Kamala, she's next in line to succeed the President — but more important, without a doubt, she is the most accomplished Speaker of the House in her lifetime.

So we cats are finding it hard to understand why the break-in at the Pelosi home in San Francisco, and the assault on Nancy Pelosi's husband Paul, are not getting more serious treatment from the press.

Our New York Times print edition the other day put the story on the front page, but below the fold. Somehow, the situations in Britain and South Korea were deemed more important than an assassination/kidnapping attempt on the Speaker of the House.

Why? Is it misogyny? You can bet that if some lefty lamebrain had physically assaulted Callista Gingrich or Janna Ryan, the story would be sucking up news media oxygen for days. Is it because journalists are afraid of appearing too "liberal"? If so, shame, shame, shame on them. It is not "liberal" to point out that Donald Trump, the Republican Party, and numerous other nutcases have championed violence in our politics. And that those actions have consequences, and are a threat to democracy.

It is all disgusting. Paul Pelosi is in the ICU, and this shouldn't happen to anyone. We cats HISS.

Mitch's Choice

By Miss Kubelik

It's nine days to the election, and Mitch McConnell, who really really really wants to be Majority Leader again, has some decisions to make.

Yes, there's a lot of dark money around, but McConnell is in charge of the GOP's super Senate PAC. Who does he keep funding at this point, and who does he cut loose?

It's an unexpectedly (for Mitch) tough decision — because although the lazy media/GOP narrative was always that the Republicans would take Congress this year, the Senate map has been difficult. Thanks to Benedict Donald, the GOP has nominated some real whackjobs for seats they want to flip (Walker in Georgia, Oz in Pennsylvania, Vance in Ohio) and is saddled with unappealing incumbents like Ron Johnson in Wisconsin. They also haven't been able to put away races like Florida, North Carolina, Iowa and, incredibly, Utah. Who'd have thought it?

So what is Mitch to do? As a general rule, he will support an incumbent before a challenger. So that means that Chuck Grassley, Baby Marco Rubio, and Johnson will get money. The hapless Republican nominee in New Hampshire? Nope. Washington State? Probably not. Pennsylvania, Ohio and North Carolina are currently Republican seats, so he's got to keep investing — to save face, if nothing else. But what does he do about Arizona and Nevada?

The Republicans have been flooding the zone with GOP-leaning polls lately, and the media have been eagerly (and ignorantly) lapping them up. But Mitch? He'll probably not trust those phony polls. Instead, he'll have someone take a hard, quiet and honest look at the races that matter to him. We're thinking that with the record turnout the country has seen so far, he won't like what he sees. We cats PURR.

Cast Your Vote For Castelli

By Zamboni

Hey, good news from Brazil tonight! The despicable Trumpster, Jair Bolsonaro, has lost re-election to leftist former President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva in the Presidential runoff. 

So maybe the Amazon rain forest will survive after all? Hard to know, since the margin was thin — think 1995 Quebec referendum thin — and you just know that Bolsonaro will scream, sob, spew invective, and claim election fraud. Heck, he would have done that if the margin had been seven million (like Joe Biden's and Kamala Harris's victory in 2020).

But that's okay, we'll take it! Lula's win is a defeat for fascism that hopefully foreshadows a similar defeat in the US next week.

On that topic, closer to home, the Albany Times-Union endorsed Democrat Matt Castelli in the NY-21 Congressional race today. Considering how absolutely awful she's become, it's maybe no surprise that a leading newspaper would support Elise Stefanik's opponent. But the editorial was, as they say, lit.

"[Castelli's] consistently proud record...contrasts glaringly with the decline of Ms. Stefanik from a seemingly moderate newcomer in search of bipartisan solutions to an overzealous, self-described 'ultra MAGA' Trump sycophant who seems to be pursuing little more than power for its own sake, even at the cost of America's stability," they say.

After a litany of her many offenses — the piece takes nearly an entire half-page — the editorial concludes that Stefanik:

"Squanders the dignity of her office. She's an embarrassment to the good people of her district and to the Empire State. She poisons our national conversation. She has no business in Congress, much less in any kind of leadership role governing a nation so desperately in need of healing." Wow! Handle this piece only with oven mitts. 

Will it make a difference? It's unclear. It would be great if Castelli caught Stefanik napping the way AOC did Joe Crowley in NY-14 four years ago. And Castelli is an excellent candidate. But we might have to be satisfied if he shaved "Elsie's" margin to a few points. That would be a volcanic eruption for the Republicans, especially in a non-Presidential year. And sometimes, it takes two consecutive runs to defeat an incumbent. We cats wish Matt Castelli the best, and we PURR.

Love, Nancy

By Baxter

This is Speaker Pelosi's letter to her fellow House members about the recent assassination attempt on her (and the attack on her husband).

The host of Deep State Radio put it well. "Note to the media: We don't have a 'political violence' problem in America right now. We have a right-wing extremist violence problem in America right now. Both-sidesing it provides cover and a false justification for the actions and planned actions of criminals."

Do better, Fourth Estate. We cats PURR.

That's "Voted," Actually

 

Early voting for the 2022 midterms began in New York today, and despite a momentary shutdown of the machines at our location, we cats were in and out in half an hour or so. It sure was fun to color in those ovals for all those Democrats!

Do you have a plan to vote yet? That's the best way to ensure your voice gets heard this election. To find your polling place, click here. And then get 10 of your Democratic friends to vote, too. We cats PURR.

"Remain," Don't "Leave"

By Sniffles

Lots of upset on Twitter this morning. Sadly, some tweeps whom we follow and admire are saying they're out. They don't want to stick around if Elon Musk owns the platform.

We cats are on Twitter — not under our own feline names, of course (we wouldn't be able to handle the billions of admiring notifications from our followers). And as tweeters, we don't see any reason to unilaterally disarm at this point.

Why cede territory to the fascists and dictators, especially less than two weeks before the midterms? Seems crazy. Besides, how else would we have learned that Jerry Lee Lewis had died, the third-quarter GDP numbers were great, and that the very day before a MAGA broke into the Pelosis' house and attacked the Speaker's husband with a hammer, Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted, "Wait until tomorrow"?

More on the Pelosi thing later. But in the meantime, if you're on Twitter and you vote blue, please stay. We cats PURR.

Amy Schumer: Stroke Of Genius

By Hubie and Bertie

It's a big mistake for Republicans to go after John Fetterman for having a stroke. What family in America has not dealt with health problems? Why do pundits and "blue-check" people think they're impervious to sickness — that it always happens to someone else? It doesn't.

So when we see mainstream media amplifying the concern-over-Fetterman's-stroke narrative, it makes us impatient. John Fetterman has been an elected official in Pennsylvania since 2006. Pennsylvanians know him. We have to believe they accept his confidence in a public recovery — warts and all — and that they understand. Fetterman will be even better by January, but "Dr." Oz will always be a fraud.

Meanwhile, has anyone noticed Oz's massive gaffe in the debate last night? That a woman's abortion decision should be between her, her doctor, and "local political leaders"? Sounds like a crowded exam room!

In that spirit, enjoy Amy Schumer's take on government interference into private healthcare decisions. We cats thank her, and we PURR.

One Million And Counting

By Miss Kubelik

It looks like the Republicans' voter suppression efforts have had exactly the opposite effect. One million voters have already gone to the polls in Georgia for the November 8 election.

As The Washington Post reports: "While every demographic and region of [Georgia] has seen elevated turnout relative to 2018, there has been a surge of participation from women, Black voters and voters over age 50...The increases have been largest in the Atlanta region, while many counties in the state’s southwest and along the southeast coast are far outpacing their early vote counts from 2018."

Georgia's rush to the polls is the most dramatic so far, partly because Georgia regularly releases its early-vote numbers. Not all states do. But in the ones we know about — Michigan, Ohio, Texas, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin — early voting is robust, and generally coming back "D."

This is all good, as it frees up campaigns to focus on lower-propensity voters and helps create a bandwagon effect. Plus, it can mean smoother logistics and less chaos on Election Day itself.

So far, then, 2022 is shaping up to be an unusual year — despite strenuous efforts by the the media and the pundit class to bend it into a 2010 or a 2014. As one former Republican has observed, nobody knows what's going to happen.

"The rationale for bolstering the 'red wave' narrative is a combination of historical precedence — the party in power almost always loses seats in the first term of a presidency — and reliance on polling," Kurt Bardella reminds us. "But given what we’ve seen in the last six years, conventional political wisdom, which didn’t predict an insurrection, is quite likely to be upended." We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Senators "My Boo" and "Bae" [Ossoff and Warnock, L to R] speak to Georgia GOTV volunteers, who are doing a very good job.)

Ron The Unready

By Zamboni

Hot on the heels of The Palm Beach Post's observation that with all its problems, Florida needs a full-time Governor who will serve out his complete term, Charlie Crist picked up the ball and ran with it tonight.

Said the Post: "Voters shouldn't tolerate anyone using the election for Governor as a springboard at the expense of sober leadership. Florida faces too many challenges and can't afford a placeholder. It needs a Governor committed to this state and its urgent needs."

Said Crist to Ron DeSantis tonight: "I have a question for you. Why don't you look in the eyes of the people of the state of Florida and say to them that if you're re-elected you will serve a full four-year term? It's not a tough question."

DeSantis was, literally, unresponsive. He stood mutely and stared into the middle distance, jerking slightly like a Disney animatron. Somewhere tonight, Baby Marco Rubio must be relieved that somebody has looked weaker than he did on the 2022 debate stage.

Earlier, when we read The Post's endorsement of Crist, we decided that if Crist did not challenge DeSantis on this important point, it would be political malpractice. Do you know what else is political malpractice? Ron DeSantis being unprepared for the question. Dude has a zillion dollars and thousands of political consultants on his tab. Not one of them could have given him a head's up? "How simply frightful. How humiliating. How delightful." We cats PURR.

(IMAGES: See how thrilled DeSantis looks to be there? As you can tell from the second photo, it got worse.)

Suivez Les Regles, S'il Vous Plait

By Baxter

In Quebec, the provincial legislature is adorably called the "National Assembly" — part of the eternal quest to identify as a nation, not as part of Canada. Over the years, when separatism wasn't threatening, it's been something folks have nodded and smiled indulgently at. When things got dicey, like in 1995, the National Assembly seemed more... well, national. But the province voted to stay in Canada by a whisker.

Since then, separatism has waned more than waxed. But lest you assume that separatists are right-wing because they oppose federalism, the recent provincial election ushered in some lefty characters as well — 11 Members of the National Assembly who belong to the Quebec Solidaire (QS) party.

These MNAs kicked off their legislative careers last week by refusing to swear an oath to King Charles III. There's a question as to whether they can sit in the assembly now, but we're guessing that either everyone will decide to look the other way — or use it to jump-start a new conversation about Canadians swearing an oath to the British Crown.

We have two reactions to this: First, that people would have seen a refusal to swear allegiance to Elizabeth II as tacky — beating up on a revered old lady. Now that Charles, who is much less appealing, has succeeded his mother, these QS MNAs saw their chance and took it. Still kinda tacky, actually.

Second, everybody knew the rules when they ran for office. So did these MNAs. So, until you're able to change the rules, you'd better follow them. We cats are not impressed, and we HISS.

Fire Your Witch, NY-21

We cats have been redistricted out of NY-21, so we don't have the appalling "Elsie" Stefanik "representing" us in Congress anymore. The only downside (so far) is that we can't vote for the intriguing candidate the Democrats nominated to run against her this year — Matt Castelli. But it was perfect fall weather today for Matt and State Assemblywoman Carrie Woerner (who is still our rep in Albany) to knock doors in adorable Glens Falls. We cats PURR.

Freezing Guns, A Good Thing

By Sniffles

In the category of more-civilized-countries-than-the-US, here comes Canada, with its handgun ban.

"The Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, today announced the national freeze on the sale, purchase, and transfer of handguns comes into effect," the PMO announced. "From now on, people cannot buy, sell, or transfer handguns within Canada, and they cannot bring newly acquired handguns into the country."

Republicans in the US are currently trying to scare midterm voters about crime statistics. In reality, red states have higher crime rates than blue states do, and jurisdictions that enact gun-control laws also benefit. Canada serves as a handy exemplar of the latter — although we have to note that the True North doesn't labor under the burden of an ill-interpreted Second Amendment.

We cats live full time in Upstate New York and part time in Quebec. We feel completely safe in either place. Any Republican campaign based on "crime" should be viewed as what it is: racist. We cats HISS.

Larry The Cat, Worried About Another Stray

This keeps happening. Perhaps all Tories should be spayed or neutered? A general election would also reduce their population. We cats PURR.

She Could Not Romaine

By Hubie and Bertie

Looks like the head of lettuce has endured longer than the hapless UK Prime Minister Liz Truss, who just resigned as Conservative Party leader. In case you think this will be the end of the embarrassing chaos that's gripped Britain this week, guess again. The Tories have to pick a leader in a week, but that's not going to cure the disease — only put a Band-Aid on the country's wounds.

We cats don't see any way out of it except for the UK to hold an election ASAP, install Labour by a 30-point margin, and rejoin the EU, because that's when things really started to go south for them.

Meanwhile, as we Americans prepare to vote in the midterms (and, in a lot of cases, are already voting), we need to be watching this "Trussterfuck" as a cautionary tale.

Today's British version of Demagogues in Disarray is the perfect example of what happens when you put a government-hating party in charge. The Conservatives have always been Reagany/Gingrichy/Trumpy types who don't believe that government should serve anybody except themselves. They value power simply for power's sake, and — unlike someone like Nancy Pelosi, for example — haven't a clue how to govern. If the Republicans take the House of Representatives next month, we can expect the same chaos in 2023. Pay attention, folks. We cats HISS.

P.S. We can't claim credit for our headline. Saw it on Twitter!

UPDATE: If an election were held today, the Labour Party would win by 36%, not 30 — for a total of 507 seats! Goodness gracious.

It Just Might Be "The Alito Midterms"

By Miss Kubelik

The late Madeleine Albright used to call herself "an optimist who worries a lot." This was a great way to live your life: Be someone who believes in democracy, but who knows that it has to be monitored, nourished, cared for and loved to survive.

Yesterday, we saw democracy loved when a record-blowing number of Georgians turned out on the first day of early voting. So great! say the optimists in us. Keep working! say the worriers.

So today, let's all take advice from the worriers: While the TV talking heads are yammering about Republican gains, touting single polls instead of trends, and handing the midterms to the GOP, we all need to shut off the screens and pitch in. As we've mentioned before, if you live in swing states with crucial races, that means knocking on doors if you can. But there are many other things you can do — write letters and post cards, phone bank, give money, etc. If you tweet or blog, talk up the Democrats you're supporting. The sky's the limit.

Meanwhile, we're getting a mighty assist from Dark Brandon — he's stated he'll codify abortion rights if Democrats keep Congress.

Now, the uber-worriers among us might say, "But the talking heads say abortion isn't resonating!" Here's our answer: If abortion is dying as a motivating issue (which we don't for a second believe), Dark Brandon's statement seems like a good way to move it back to the front burner. If it's still a white-hot issue (which we're certain is true), then Dark Brandon just handed a gift not just to Senate candidates in tight races, but to all Democrats. That's how you do it. We cats PURR.

One Day, One State, But Looking Good (And How You Can Help)

By Zamboni

Remember Gabriel Sterling? He was that bespectacled, gray-haired Republican COO for Georgia's Secretary of State who scolded Trump and his minions in December 2020 for claiming nonexistent voter fraud and threatening elections workers.

He's still in that COO job, so on the first day of early voting in Georgia, he seems a reliable source for the following:

"As of 4:15 we have seen over 100,000 Georgians cast their votes early," he tweeted. "This blows away the previous midterm first-day record of approximately 72,000, and we have lots of voting to go today."

Holy catnip! If that rate keeps up, Georgia voters are on track to match their 2020 Presidential turnout. With numbers like that, Democrats usually win. (Here's Senator Raphael Warnock, helping with turnout by adding his own vote today.)

What to do? Easy-peasy. Here's an updated list of polling averages for the most competitive Senate races. NOTE: These are polling averages, which you should pay attention to — not individual polls, which you should ignore. Pick a race or two or three and help the Democrat out.

• Ohio, D+0.3 
• Nevada, R+0.7 
• North Carolina, R+2.1 
• Wisconsin, R+2.9 
• Georgia, D+3.9
• Florida, R+4.6
• Pennsylvania, D+5.7 
• Arizona, D+6.3
• Iowa, R+7.4
• Utah, R+7.8

A few observations: With races this close (especially the top four), you can make a real difference by giving money, writing letters and post cards, phone banking, and, if you live in those states, volunteering to knock on doors. Even non-voter-contact jobs like data entry, putting up campaign signs, helping to organize events, and heck, just making coffee in the campaign headquarters all contribute to the cause.

Another note: The only Democrat in trouble on this list is Catherine Cortez Masto in Nevada. If she loses, we'll have to pick up three seats instead of two. Help her out here. We cats PURR.

UPDATE, October 18: More than 130,000 Georgians cast votes on the first day of early voting, according to the Secretary of State's office. That nearly doubles the record for the first day of early voting in a midterm (around 70,000, back in 2018). We cats PURR again.

This Works For Us

By Baxter

It's a little over three weeks to the midterms, everyone. We don't know how they'll turn out, and you know what? No one else does, either.

But the media cling stubbornly to their conventional wisdom, don't they? Funny how they never say a post-COVID, post-Trumpy 2022 could break the rules like 1998 and 2002 did. Nope — they're sticking to their Democrats-are-doomed-cuz-they're-incumbents narrative.

Yet things are happening. For example, although we teased it back on Thursday, the pundit class is finally catching up to the Utah Senate race and a possible Mike Lee crash and burn. In Iowa, Admiral Mike (not Al) Franken is barely behind Chuck Grassley in the latest polls. Herschel Walker didn't show up to a second debate with Senator Warnock in Georgia tonight. And over in the House, the so-called "red wave" is sputtering down to 11 seats.

Yes, okay, that still gives the House to the GOP. But there are other scenarios. Such as the furious women who are vowing to turn out in the wake of the Dobbs decision. And now, here come the young people, age 18 to 29, who are outraged about losing their reproductive freedom and also worried about the planet. 

TV talking heads typically dismiss young people because they assume they don't care/aren't engaged/don't vote. We cats say, not this time. As in 2020, when their turnout increased by 11 percent (to vote for an old white guy for President, in fact), we think they'll keep the streak going.

Even if you're past the first few of your nine lives, you can help. Get the young people you know registered and voting for Democrats on November 8. We cats PURR.

Boldly Going

Just for the record, if Herschel Walker can flash a toy policeman's badge at tonight's Georgia Senate debate (and he did), we can show this pin and say we're in Starfleet. Doesn't mean we are, or that we're qualified to be in the US Senate, either. We cats HISS.

Health, History, And Horses' Asses

By Sniffles

Today we cats were running some quick errands in the adorable downtown of the historic Upstate New York hamlet we live in. Truth be told, we were in the vicinity to get our next COVID booster. So we did a few other things while we were there.

We saw dogs — a lot of dogs. But we don't mind dogs if they're attached to nice people. We also saw some people who weren't so nice. Or smart.

One was an older white guy who was strolling down the main street in a T-shirt with a picture of President Biden sporting a bulbous red nose. "Elect a clown, expect a circus," the shirt said. Goodness gracious, these Trumpsters are simply masters at projection, aren't they?

The others were two people in a pickup truck that had a sticker in its back window: "Fuck Joe & the Hoe." We don't like quoting it verbatim, but it's amazing that folks think it's appropriate to put the F word on their cars where children might see it. Equally amazing that they are obviously so angry and resentful nearly two years later.

We chose not to engage with any of them — especially with the people in the truck, since they were sitting there smoking cigarettes, and hopefully will be dead soon.

The bottom line is that these jerks obviously realize they lost. They have nothing left but to put on silly shirts and display offensive window stickers and follow Benedict Donald around the country from show to show. Do they vote? No guarantee there, either. We cats PURR.

Tidbits And Cat Treats: Fun News Day Edition

By Hubie and Bertie

Wow, so much news to cackle about! Considering we're less than four weeks out from midterm elections that are supposed to cause everybody heartburn, we cats found much to amuse us today. Let's dive right in.

Benedict Donald is having a run of bad luck: The January 6 Committee reconvened with damning new evidence and subpoenaed him in a unanimous vote, the Supreme Court told him to take a hike in the stolen-documents case, New York AG Tish James caught him trying to create another Trump Organization, and he has to sit for a deposition next week in the E. Jean Carroll defamation case. Oh, and a staffer has changed his testimony about moving those boxes of purloined papers at Mar-a-Lago. Sweet!

As for the Committee itself, it showed amazing footage of Congressional leaders' evacuation on January 6, and Twitter proceeded to explode with admiration for — cover your ears, MAGAts — Nancy Pelosi. Even while she was being rushed to safety from the mob, she was calmly working the phones to make sure the election certification wouldn't be postponed. What did Ernest Hemingway say about grace under pressure?

Meanwhile, for the second time in exactly a month, Charles, the new Queen of England, has made us laugh out loud. The first time was when he was in Northern Ireland, being fussy with a fountain pen. Now, it's the hapless PM's first audience with the monarch, at which she received a less-than-enthusiastic welcome. "So you've come back again?" Charles asked Liz Truss. "Dear, oh dear." Are we the only ones in the world who think this reign is going to be hilarious? Please say we aren't.

One 2022 Senate race that's flying under the radar is the Mike Lee-Evan McMullin match-up in Utah. McMullin is an Independent who has pledged not to caucus with the Republicans if he wins, so Democrats decided against fielding a candidate to avoid splitting the vote. Trumpster Lee has gone from a lazy but comfortable lead to a borderline squeaker: four points, with one poll putting McMullin on top. Whispers are that the GOP could maybe, actually lose this one. Lee must agree, because he was on TV this week begging Willard "Mitt" Romney for his help. Poor Mike. "How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful!"

So, a pretty swell day. And even more to look forward to: Steve Bannon will be sentenced for contempt of Congress on October 21. Benedict Donald should take note, since Bannon was convicted of blowing off a Congressional subpoena. We cats PURR.

Fightin' Fetterman

By Miss Kubelik

John Fetterman, Democratic candidate for Republican Pat Toomey's Pennsylvania Senate seat, is running a great campaign. He has brilliantly defined his GOP opponent, "Dr." Mehmet Oz, as an elitist, carpetbagging New Jerseyite (he calls the Garden State "the land of Oz"). He posts regular (and effective) videos of ordinary Republican voters endorsing him, and just launched a searing ad about Oz's puppy experiments. The dude is not a shy violet.

Fetterman also recently suffered a stroke, but he's in recovery and back on the campaign trail. Republicans (and an NBC reporter we'd never heard of until now) have tried to make an issue out of this. The reporter focused her entire segment last night on Fetterman's request for closed captioning so he could read her questions as well as hear them — a technology very familiar to those in rehab from minor strokes.

Outraged journalists from Kara Swisher to Molly Jong-Fast to Connie Schultz pushed back — especially Swisher, who suffered the same kind of stroke as Fetterman's and who also used closed-captioning during her recovery (today, she's going strong, writing for Vox and New York and hosting a podcast). Other journos have scorched NBC for their framing.

Meanwhile, Oz and the Republicans must be sharpening their knives, ready to go in for the kill. But if they thought John Fetterman would be like John Kerry and not respond (see "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," 2004), they bet wrong. Fetterman has been fierce. "Recovering from a stroke in public isn't easy," he said. "But in January, I’m going to be much better — and Dr. Oz will still be a fraud." Their upcoming debate should be fun! We cats PURR.

Hit The Beach On November 8

Mike Luckovich of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution asked the Twitterverse what kind of cartoon he should draw today. We cats voted for this one — and voila! Thanks, Mike. (Meanwhile, deadlines to register to vote are this week in a lot of states. And if you're already registered, double-check that you haven't been tossed off the rolls by democracy-hating Republicans.) We cats PURR.

"Suddenly I've Gone Into Mimeograph"

By Zamboni

Many questions in the air today following last night's drubbing by Tim Ryan of the loathsome J.D. Vance in the Ohio Senate debate. Such as: When will the pundits stop trying to spin Vance's humiliation as something that won't matter? Will the media ever quit trying to stir up Democratic fights by asking Ryan if he wants President Biden to campaign with him? And why did Ryan and Vance both show up in blue suits and red ties?

We don't know the answer to the first question, but it drives us crazy. In what world would an undecided voter tune in to that debate and be impressed with Vance? He looked bewildered at every turn, landed only soft blows on Ryan, and fled the studio instead of showing up at the spin room afterward. Take it from us — if the tables had been turned and Vance had come out with the more-impressive performance, the talking heads would be saying he had the race in the bag.

As for the second question, clearly the answer is no. But Ryan is handling it perfectly well, so we have no problem with it. And you can bet Joe Biden doesn't, either. Biden isn't into slights, which is another reason the media's obsession with the topic is silly.

Finally, about the suits and ties: It sure was weird! But then it occurred to us that Ryan was slyly riffing on the Trumpy look to call attention to Vance's sycophantic imitation of his idol. Still and all, we've had Frank Loesser's song "Paris Original" in our heads ever since. We cats PURR.

How Proud Is Home Depot?

By Baxter

Atlanta held its Pride Festival this weekend, which included a huge parade with nearly every statewide Democratic candidate marching (or, at one point, riding in a classic pink convertible).

No Republicans turned out for the fun. But a few corporations did.

"Atlanta’s business establishment has embraced the three-day event," The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports. "Just about every major Atlanta-based corporation was represented: Coca-Cola, Cox, Delta, Home Depot and UPS each had large contingents."

Hmmm, Home Depot. Didn't we cats recently see a news story about an enormous Home Depot contribution to Herschel Walker's Senate campaign? Like nearly $2 million?

They deny it. "The company has not contributed to [Walker's] campaign," they said in a statement. "The contribution was from our co-founder Bernie Marcus, who left Home Depot more than 20 years ago."

Hmmm, again. As a follow-up, people are asking Home Depot how many shares of stock Marcus still owns. No response yet.

It's pretty neat that Home Depot is being put on the spot about this, but still — it sounds like they're trying to have it both ways on gay rights. Journalists shouldn't let them wriggle out of it. We cats HISS.

P.S. You can donate to Senator Raphael Warnock's campaign here.

Nobody Said They Were Smart

 

PS: Internal polling is showing this Trumpy idiot in a statistical dead heat with her Democratic challenger, Adam Frisch. We cats PURR.

The COVID Factor

By Sniffles

Many times over the last two and a half years, we cats have speculated that Republican voters were committing suicide at a rate that would drive down their turnout at the polls. Generally, if you're a Trumpster who refused to get vaccinated or wear a mask, and you're dead from COVID, you can't vote. But our assumptions were all pretty anecdotal, based on what we were hearing about pandemic politics.

Now, three researchers from Yale have published a paper proving it.

"Political affiliation has emerged as a potential risk factor for COVID-19, amid evidence that Republican-leaning counties [in Florida and Ohio] have had higher COVID deaths than Democratic-leaning counties and evidence of a link between political party affiliation and vaccination views," they say.

The difference between this and various and sundry anecdotal observations? The Yale abstract is a peer-reviewed study. It's not some cable-news talking head speculating — these dudes are experts proving what we all suspected we knew.

Will it make a difference in November? It's unclear, but it can't hurt. And it might be just another reason that the 2022 midterms may not follow historical trends (i.e., in which the incumbent President's party gets its ass kicked). We cats PURR.

Another October Surprise

By Hubie and Bertie

First, it should probably be said that Dark Brandon's federal mass pardon for marijuana possession today is the just and right thing to do. It's never been fair that some folks, usually people of color, have been languishing in jail for a minor offense that several states have already legalized. (We could add, "while white-collar criminals like Benedict Donald continue to roam free," etc. But we digress.)

Second, though, politically, it's delicious. Legalizing marijuana is very popular in red states like Alaska, Kansas and Georgia, but despite that, Republicans in charge have led the fight against it — hoping no one would really notice. Now, thanks to Biden, they'll be forced off their precarious perch.

"Biden’s actions...do not directly affect the vast majority of marijuana-related convictions, which are pursued under state law," The Washington Post explains. "Biden administration officials said the President would use his action to encourage state governors to offer mass pardons under their own authority." HAHAHAHAHAHA!

It also will guarantee that Republican leaders will piss off half of their base — either the nutjob religious freaks who are anti-weed, or the libertarian, Trumpy biker types who smoke it. (Think of the dude in the "True Florida Cracker — Endangered Species" T-shirt who cheerfully chatted up Biden in yesterday's pouty DeSantis photo: Yep, that guy's a canibisseur for sure.)

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. has been in public office nearly as long as the War on Drugs has existed. And while he's always had a reputation as a centrist, it seems pretty clear that now that he's realized his lifelong dream, he's gone whole-hog progressive on us. He's 79. He's President. He must have said to himself, screw it — I'm gonna be the most lefty POTUS ever. We cats PURR.

Picture, Thousand Words, Etc.

By Miss Kubelik

Dark Brandon appeared relaxed and in his element today as he visited Ian-ravaged southwest Florida, joshing expletive-ly with the mayor of Fort Myers Beach and heaping what must have been maddening words of praise on the always-repulsive Ron DeSantis.

DeSantis must have found it doubly frustrating that he had to say nice things in response: "Mr. President, welcome to Florida. We appreciate working across all the various levels of government." However, DeSantis did not trouble himself to personally greet Biden at the airport when he landed. Typical and petulant.

Yes, the press makes way too much of political cat fights when hundreds of Floridians may be dead from Ian — complete numbers aren't in yet. But we sure love it when photojournalists capture images like the one above, especially when they come hard on the heels (ha, ha) of Ronnie in his adorable Nancy Sinatra boots. We cats PURR.

(IMAGE: Evan Vucci, Associated Press)

It Is Time For Them To Go-Go

By Zamboni

As our headline paraphrases Al Gore at the 1992 Democratic convention, let's observe that execrable Florida Governor Ron DeSantis should remember what happened to a couple of politicians from around that same time: George H.W. Bush and Michael Dukakis.

Democratic nominee Dukakis torched a 17-point lead in 1988 by, among other things, donning a helmet and riding around in a tank. You've all seen the photo. It invited ridicule — the death knell of all Presidential wannabes. (And yes, Bernard Shaw's rape-death-penalty question in that one debate didn't help. But Shaw is dead now, and Dukakis is still alive and at large.)

Four years later, Hurricane Andrew tore through South Florida, and the administration of then-President Bush Senior didn't, um, perform very well. We don't remember Bush showing up anywhere in white boots, but he seemed inattentive, and FEMA was slow and clunky. (And that was before Bush Junior screwed up Katrina.) Anyway, Bush Senior lost re-election to Bill Clinton a few months later. 

So here is Ron DeSantis in 2022, five weeks out from a match-up with former Governor Charlie Crist, and Presidential ambitions galore. And his disastrous post-Ian appearance in Fort Myers Beach strutting in his pristine booties may have just landed him in Dukakis territory.

Funny, you'd think that reports about a bad recovery response, and the fact that DeSantis paused aid from going to hurricane victims so he could get his white-boot photo op, would sink him faster. But whatever. Charlie Crist, the ball's in your court. We cats PURR.

Taking The Day

We cats are feeling a little under the weather, so we're resting up a bit before we blog again. But we promise it won't be long. Not-great things are happening for Republicans, like a hurricane that's spiked the crime rate in Southwest Florida, a Senate candidate who's been outed as a puppy killer, and another who paid for a girlfriend's abortion (he's anti-choice, of course). Lots to talk about! See you soon. We cats PURR.

Best Birthday Wishes

Ninety-eight? Really? The amazing Jimmy Carter just keeps chugging along. We send our warmest regards of the day — and since he never fails to credit his life partner and fellow humanitarian Rosalynn as the secret to his success, here they are together. We cats PURR.